Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys We Guys Book. I'm Christina,
Speaker 1: I'm Karren. We're sorry about last night, the anti slut
Speaker 1: shaming podcast. I never stopped. What up? Fucker's Welcome to
Speaker 1: another episode of Guys We Fucked. It's the anti slut
Speaker 1: shaming podcast. I'm Karrin, I'm Christina. Oh my god, huh what?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I was a lot of Rihanna today
Speaker 1: while I was cleaning my house. Man Sexy Bitch is
Speaker 1: my favorite person along with Kesha to listen to before
Speaker 1: I go out drinking. Man. That Rihanna. That Rihanna, her
Speaker 1: song breaking Dishes is one of my all time phaves. Oh,
Speaker 1: I've never heard of that. It's like from the Umbrella
Speaker 1: phase of her. Damn Yeah, she gets piste at her man,
Speaker 1: so she's breaking dishes. She's one of those women that
Speaker 1: can get piste a lot and then no one's like
Speaker 1: he feels angry. I mean, at least I've never heard
Speaker 1: that said about her. She's just fucking strong ass bitch,
Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, I love you Rhanna, respected like yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: bit Jenna good Way, Um, come see us live, you guys.
Speaker 1: We have some shows coming up. Um Tomorrow, Saturday June
Speaker 1: is the one year anniversary of Glamour Puss. That is
Speaker 1: the comedy slash variety show that Wendy Starling and I
Speaker 1: co host at SINC Bar. The doors open at seven,
Speaker 1: shows at seven thirty. Get your tickets. I think there'll
Speaker 1: still be a few left by the time this podcast airs.
Speaker 1: The links in the description It's gonna be a crazy night,
Speaker 1: you guys. And then on Wednesday, June nine, it's the
Speaker 1: monthly installment of the Comedian Project at the Standing Room
Speaker 1: in Long Island City, I co hosted with Katie Hanigan.
Speaker 1: No jokes about sex, dating or relationships, and it's only
Speaker 1: five dollars with the code sex. Then on Friday July
Speaker 1: it's the two year anniversary of Not Show Bitches, co
Speaker 1: hosted by myself and Blair Saki at New York Comedy Club.
Speaker 1: That's ten dollars with code Nacho. I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: the lineup is not done you, but I'm sure it'll
Speaker 1: be fair. And she's really weird, and then maybe I'll
Speaker 1: threaten to murder someone in the audience. Oh yeah, there
Speaker 1: was man that one girl the last Nacho Bitches, when
Speaker 1: she was during your tru your Hillary Clinton joke. That
Speaker 1: was so freud and you couldn't even you couldn't even
Speaker 1: acknowledge that someone would be mad about Hillary. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: because you're like Trump, what who are you? And why
Speaker 1: are you here? And go no. But she was. She
Speaker 1: was heckling, that was the first thing. But then she
Speaker 1: kept doing it, and she kept going boo and the like, bitch,
Speaker 1: you need to shut the funk up. And I don't
Speaker 1: even mean bitch in a Rhana way. I mean bitch
Speaker 1: in a bitch way. Well, and we were making tapes
Speaker 1: and I was like, also, like if someone was doing
Speaker 1: like a bit about like how they didn't like women
Speaker 1: or how they were voting for Trump, I wouldn't be
Speaker 1: making noises at the stage. You just go, I don't
Speaker 1: like that in your head, like a proper against member.
Speaker 1: That's not your place. Um oh, Montreal, Canada. So we
Speaker 1: sold out our live taping of Guys we Fucked, And
Speaker 1: then we added another one. You guys, It's gonna be Friday,
Speaker 1: July UM at three thirty pm. Tickets. The link for
Speaker 1: that is in the description of this podcast. The nineteen
Speaker 1: dollars and fourteen cents, it's a really random number, but
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe the festival started in nineteen fourteen.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but that's gonna be really fun and
Speaker 1: we're probably gonna sell that out. So get tickets A
Speaker 1: S A P. Please, Yeah, because the other one sold
Speaker 1: out and then you were like we want more, and
Speaker 1: then we gave you and we're like we love you.
Speaker 1: Okay here and then we reinforce the fact that complaining works.
Speaker 1: Um it so does. Then on Monday, July eighth, it's
Speaker 1: the last New York date for the Guys We Fucked
Speaker 1: Test tour that's been happening all summer long at Spring Long,
Speaker 1: I guess at Subculture, which is forty five Bleaker Street.
Speaker 1: Doors open at seven pm. The show is at eight o'clock,
Speaker 1: all ages. If you're her six team bringing an adult,
Speaker 1: these have been out of control crazy, you've been so
Speaker 1: helpful with your man back. That last one my favorite
Speaker 1: line of the whole show, because this is an interactive show,
Speaker 1: so we make you know we've said this before, but
Speaker 1: the podcast we make bring the podcast to life with
Speaker 1: you guys in it, the audience in it, and it's
Speaker 1: very special. My favorite line one was when this adorable,
Speaker 1: oh the cutest girls on stage, and as was her boyfriend,
Speaker 1: and we asked her, um, the kind of porn that
Speaker 1: she's into and her boyfriend to know, and she goes dungeons.
Speaker 1: The look on his face made my life. Yeah, No,
Speaker 1: it was great. You're gonna learn a lot about yourselves,
Speaker 1: about your partners, about your friends. It's gonna be great.
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Speaker 1: actively cooking Blue Apron. My mom is now subscrib driving,
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Speaker 1: it's been Yeah what what It's been a great week.
Speaker 1: We've been doing a lots of stuff. We had a show, um,
Speaker 1: and then I went to my apartment last night and
Speaker 1: James came over. Yeah, and that was and that was fun.
Speaker 1: We had how many nights a week do you guys
Speaker 1: hang out? Because if I lived close, I'd be like,
Speaker 1: I guess we lived together. Now. Well that's the thing.
Speaker 1: Usually I'm pretty good about like keeping it like to
Speaker 1: I try to do two nights a week at the
Speaker 1: beginning of a relationship, like for the first like year,
Speaker 1: uh um, purposefully like don't get sick of each other. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just too just so that we can miss each
Speaker 1: other because I still have a lot of other stuff
Speaker 1: to do, especially like this being my first entree into
Speaker 1: the into the relationship scene for like four years. While yeah, so,
Speaker 1: I mean it's very hard to flip from doing whatever
Speaker 1: the funk I want seven to have we care about
Speaker 1: another human, Yeah, I mean, really the only person's like
Speaker 1: schedule I had to worry about before was yours right?
Speaker 1: When those days? Yeah? So yeah, but I mean we've
Speaker 1: been we we've been doing more for sure. I mean
Speaker 1: like like four for him, well because because like he'll
Speaker 1: suggest it and then I'll be like, well, I guess,
Speaker 1: and it is a fifteen minute walk exactly from each
Speaker 1: other's apartments. But anyway, that's beyond the point. Um. No,
Speaker 1: So he loves um eating pussy, I guess is the
Speaker 1: proper you poor thing? No, I know, Well, this is
Speaker 1: I continuously stepping ship with this, which is that's saying
Speaker 1: expression of like good, I mean stepping and ship is
Speaker 1: a good thing. I mean I hate when I step
Speaker 1: in ship. It's not in real lussion. We don't know.
Speaker 1: And then you get in the car. Person used that
Speaker 1: expression in my youth and it was good. Anyway, I
Speaker 1: struck gold. Maybe that's a good one that I know
Speaker 1: is a good pattern. Yeah, is better than poop. So
Speaker 1: I continuously strike gold with that. He loves eating pussy.
Speaker 1: And then so last night we had a very constructive
Speaker 1: argument as we do, and then instead of having makeup
Speaker 1: sex where I would have to do work, he just
Speaker 1: he just went down. I mean he's like it's like
Speaker 1: he's like, you're v China smells like great candy, and
Speaker 1: I was and I was like, I was like, come again,
Speaker 1: are you are you shooting me? And then he's like
Speaker 1: it smells easy. I mean it's delicious. He's like, it
Speaker 1: smells and it's and it tastes like grape candy. And
Speaker 1: I was like, that's amazing because I ate grape candy
Speaker 1: a bunch of I like, ate a bunch of hard
Speaker 1: candies for breakfast at the spa because it's the champions.
Speaker 1: Well because one of the massage therapists whose Asian, gave
Speaker 1: me this candy and I had all Asian writing on it,
Speaker 1: but Asian hard candy, in my experience fucking delicious. It
Speaker 1: is really so I ate it. And it said the
Speaker 1: only English words on it said healthy candy, and I
Speaker 1: was like, I was okay, yeah. So I was like, well,
Speaker 1: this is fine. And then he's like you need to
Speaker 1: find out where that candies and then in Mandarin it
Speaker 1: says j K, stupid Americans, this is horrible for you.
Speaker 1: And I was like, what, well, you also hard candy?
Speaker 1: I mean's that's just a little bit of sugar. It's
Speaker 1: not like eating chocolate bars like it doesn't matter. Um fascinating. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then's so tasted. And then he said probably my
Speaker 1: favorite line of any boyfriend of all time, which was, oh,
Speaker 1: I love eating you out, especially when I have a
Speaker 1: must stash because then I can smell you on my
Speaker 1: face all day. And I was like, did I create
Speaker 1: you myself? Because it was it was a perfect reaction
Speaker 1: to that are two different things. He was the see,
Speaker 1: I love I love someone who is obsessed with me
Speaker 1: be is like smart, mean and then see and then
Speaker 1: See is like kind of a pervert and I want
Speaker 1: your pussy juice on my mustache, like I like, they
Speaker 1: have to be a little bit of a purse. Well,
Speaker 1: now that I've read some of your sex, yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: like a little pervy, like a little like they I might.
Speaker 1: I don't want I don't know what I want, would
Speaker 1: want to be like a little concern, but like I
Speaker 1: want to be like a little scared when I find
Speaker 1: your porn, like literally a little bit, not not scared, no,
Speaker 1: like your heart goes in your stomach for a second,
Speaker 1: and then you're like okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, I can
Speaker 1: work with this. Yeah that I had that moment with Stephen, Yeah,
Speaker 1: just a little bit. Did you have you know anytime
Speaker 1: I found point it was accidental? Um, yeah, I've I've
Speaker 1: talked to how do you do it? Accidental? What a
Speaker 1: new tab and he doesn't refresh? You know? My ex
Speaker 1: boyfriend Austin, we talked about it. May I accidentally found
Speaker 1: Austin's porn and it scared the ship out of me.
Speaker 1: Was um, it was like bodybuilds are porn? Not scared?
Speaker 1: Wait did you find anything at James porn? Or did
Speaker 1: he tell you what kind of porn he wants? We
Speaker 1: discussed it. I think he just he just like blow jobs.
Speaker 1: And I was like, Christina had a joke about that.
Speaker 1: Great everyone like blow job. You know last time I
Speaker 1: did that my set at the Subculture show. One of
Speaker 1: the guys who I said looked like Screech And then
Speaker 1: you were like, no, you look like Jack Anton. Don't
Speaker 1: tell me looks like Screech. He's gonna kill himself. And
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm sorry, You're very cute. Anyway, I
Speaker 1: did the blow job joke and I asked him. I
Speaker 1: always asked, remember, like, what do you a guy like?
Speaker 1: What do you like about blowjobs? Do you like him?
Speaker 1: What do you like about him? And he goes, I
Speaker 1: liked it. Like the girl, she's trying to make everybody
Speaker 1: convinced that she's enjoying it, but she's secretly really not
Speaker 1: enjoying it. And I was like, what fucking massacre? It
Speaker 1: is so dark, that's so many layers. You went back there.
Speaker 1: Good God, Now you don't look like screech. You look like, uh,
Speaker 1: I don't know a scarier person. Wow. Yeah that was funny. Wait,
Speaker 1: so he just watches porn of blow jobs? Lots of
Speaker 1: people do. I mean, I'm sure he watches other things,
Speaker 1: but I said, what's your favorite? That's that's exact. That's
Speaker 1: all the party skip. I'm sure there's something much weirder.
Speaker 1: And then he that we just haven't gotten to blow
Speaker 1: job scenes too in the port the girls and this
Speaker 1: is also I've noticed this. One guy's e women out
Speaker 1: and porn. They like, the girls don't act like they've
Speaker 1: never seen a dick. What is this? Wow? And the
Speaker 1: guys will be like this is You're like, oh, come on,
Speaker 1: why haven't you have about that? I think that's what
Speaker 1: guys like really really sto yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: like yeah, it's the best day of your life. The
Speaker 1: thing is just like they I mean, they kind of
Speaker 1: mean same. If I'm surprised, it's gonna be a bad surprise, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just it's surprise. It is truly the reaction going
Speaker 1: on in your head. It's because there's a there's some
Speaker 1: scamps or maybe a maybe ben that's like extreme, it's
Speaker 1: gonna be great. Yeah. I'm seeing a guy before James,
Speaker 1: and he had what I would call I told him,
Speaker 1: I was like, your dick is like the most beautiful
Speaker 1: dick I've ever seen. It should go in a museum.
Speaker 1: What was beautiful? It was just shiny, vanny esthetically perfect,
Speaker 1: just like I don't I don't know. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I just had to tell you because it's amazing. And
Speaker 1: he goes like he's like yeah, I know. Um, every
Speaker 1: girl I've ever slept with his said that. I mean
Speaker 1: he wasn't he wasn't that cocky about it, but like cocky, well,
Speaker 1: I mean that's where that comes from. But really I'm
Speaker 1: sure or no, you know what, or am I be
Speaker 1: like cocking your head like I don't know, I just
Speaker 1: made that up. Really yeah, all the time, I think
Speaker 1: it's like more like pea cocking actually, um and uh yeah,
Speaker 1: and he wasn't he wouldn't know, he wasn't that smug
Speaker 1: about it. But I just thought it was interesting that
Speaker 1: kind of like every girl across the board agreed that
Speaker 1: this penis in particular was aesthetically the most pleasing. Yeah. Actually,
Speaker 1: two girls, two separate girlfriends of mine, the last three days,
Speaker 1: have both told me, oh my god, I laid my
Speaker 1: eyes on the most beautiful dick I've ever seen in
Speaker 1: my life. I was like, Wow, this is like a
Speaker 1: great week for like girls seeing dicks. Yeah, because you know,
Speaker 1: some comedian has I'm pretty sure comedian has a bit
Speaker 1: about this. But like when girls go to fun guys
Speaker 1: and when guys go to girls. When when when straight
Speaker 1: people go to funk each other and the win gay guys?
Speaker 1: I guess, and girl, I guess. This is everybody. It's universal.
Speaker 1: It's a it's universal, but like you don't really know
Speaker 1: what you're gonna get. You don't know, it's a game
Speaker 1: of Russian roulette every time the pants come down, and
Speaker 1: you know, I say a little prayer because you want
Speaker 1: it to be great, and if it's if it's not
Speaker 1: what you expected in a negative way, that really hasn't
Speaker 1: happened to me maybe once that's happened to me, But
Speaker 1: you don't want to You just don't want to make
Speaker 1: the person feel bad. But then I can't fide my reaction.
Speaker 1: I can't hide it. I'm want to react. But that's
Speaker 1: why I like to. I like to get to see
Speaker 1: people's genitalia pretty early in the dame process because I
Speaker 1: don't want to get to really like you and then
Speaker 1: discover that I don't really like what's going on? Have you?
Speaker 1: Have you really not liked what's going on before? Uh?
Speaker 1: In one instance, Yeah, I think we might be. I
Speaker 1: think we are the same person, but yeah, I don't know,
Speaker 1: because I mean, I'm pretty I'm yeah, I'm pretty okay
Speaker 1: with There's not much that can go horribly wrong. You know.
Speaker 1: Maybe I haven't seen like a gnarmally dick, nor do
Speaker 1: I really want to, but neither. But I mean I've
Speaker 1: seen some homeless dick because they they whip it out
Speaker 1: right and they're not normally you know, they look fine.
Speaker 1: It's just more that I would be so scared about
Speaker 1: the hygiene. But like, wow, like your clothes are tattered,
Speaker 1: you're covered in dirt, like you're for you Henry, Yes, um,
Speaker 1: all right, let's read some emails from the fucker bag. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you guys want to email us, it's sorry about
Speaker 1: last night show at gmail dot com. Tell us your
Speaker 1: problem perfect. This subject of this email is dj wu
Speaker 1: Kid is a disrespectful misogynist. You think, no, he's not.
Speaker 1: So we got a lot of emails like this, And
Speaker 1: any time we have a guest on who kind of
Speaker 1: strays from the norm of what this podcast speaks about
Speaker 1: and and stands for, we get lots of emails like this.
Speaker 1: So I wanted to read one of of these such emails. Hi, guys,
Speaker 1: I love the podcast. Listen every week. I am writing
Speaker 1: a response to the newest episode and your interview with
Speaker 1: dj wu Kid for an anti slut shaming podcast. I
Speaker 1: was really disappointed to hear a man body shame and
Speaker 1: slut shame women for the whole interview. He fucks sacks
Speaker 1: of girls, which he is entitled to do because he's
Speaker 1: rich and famous, but he is disgusted by them and
Speaker 1: he would never date a girl like that, question mark.
Speaker 1: That's the absolute double standard that we are all trying
Speaker 1: to leave the funk behind. This man filmed women for
Speaker 1: his personal use and without their permission. Sends it to
Speaker 1: his friends. This is blatant exploitation of women and it's illegal. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean, we talked a lot, a lot of they knew, uh,
Speaker 1: he has no respect for women. And I was so
Speaker 1: disappointed to hear this chauvinistic ship on your show. I
Speaker 1: actually couldn't finish the episode because I was so disgusted
Speaker 1: by his attitude towards women. Okay, Now it's interesting because
Speaker 1: we got a lot of the people people's favorite episode
Speaker 1: and also people's least favorite episode of the dante Ero episode,
Speaker 1: and and I think overwhelming. We've got so many emails
Speaker 1: and tweets from people that women saying they couldn't finish
Speaker 1: the episode or they had to take a breather. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I was, well, you know, I've never met a
Speaker 1: person who gets supossedly like this. I've heard about him,
Speaker 1: but I've never actually heard them talk at length about
Speaker 1: the process, about what was going on. And that's why
Speaker 1: I knew it would be a really interesting interview, because
Speaker 1: I want to talk to one of these guys and
Speaker 1: like when we when we get shipped the guests, which
Speaker 1: isn't honestly, it's not as much as often as I think,
Speaker 1: but I'm like, well, yeah, these people exist, well that
Speaker 1: just not talked to him exactly. And then those are
Speaker 1: the people I want to talk to the most, to
Speaker 1: be honest, Yeah, that's the point I wanted to to make,
Speaker 1: Like it's kind of just like wake up. Like I think,
Speaker 1: for too long, feminism has just been a bunch of
Speaker 1: women in a room with the same point of view,
Speaker 1: patting each other on the pussy for a job well done.
Speaker 1: And but the job hasn't been fucking done at all.
Speaker 1: And that's why we're still here, and that's why we
Speaker 1: had to do this podcast. So I not only do
Speaker 1: I think it's important to talk to both people who
Speaker 1: agree and disagree with us, I think it's almost more
Speaker 1: important to talk like to people like this as long
Speaker 1: as you're actively kind of calling them on their ship
Speaker 1: as it goes. And and thank god you are fucking
Speaker 1: great at that. Also, and I don't I don't want
Speaker 1: to get in a fight with him and that that's
Speaker 1: not constructive. I just you know, I mean, I didn't
Speaker 1: certainly make fun of him, but I also he also
Speaker 1: made fun of himself, which I really loved. I wanted
Speaker 1: to question him, like I asked him outright like, you
Speaker 1: know why it is hip hop so disrespectful towards him.
Speaker 1: I I if I feel like, if we both understand
Speaker 1: where the other person is coming from, there is some
Speaker 1: sort of a middle ground that we can understand because
Speaker 1: it's just like, I mean, historically, we need the other
Speaker 1: side for all social issues, for civil rights. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm a Jew. Guests who helps us a lot in
Speaker 1: the Holocaust. Schindler like that was we needed the help
Speaker 1: of people who were not Jews to survive the Holocaust
Speaker 1: with Schindler German, Uh, yeah, yeah, and he was he
Speaker 1: was the list. Yeah, he had the fucking list, the
Speaker 1: list of you want to cry, Oh, Schindler's list. I mean,
Speaker 1: he's just there's so many. It was just like a
Speaker 1: list of Jews to save. And so he's just he's
Speaker 1: just saving Jews superhero. And it's like at the end,
Speaker 1: like he gets so almost addicted to saving Jews that
Speaker 1: you know. The final scene is like and he's trading
Speaker 1: things and he gives up all his wealth and stuff,
Speaker 1: and at the end he finds like a gold tooth.
Speaker 1: Sorry if I ruined this, you should have seen him
Speaker 1: by now your fault. Um, he takes a gold he
Speaker 1: finds a gold filling in his mouth because he used
Speaker 1: to use the actual gold for filling and he and
Speaker 1: he breaks down. He's like, I could have saved one more.
Speaker 1: You know, it's Schindler. What a guy. But it's like yeah,
Speaker 1: and I mean, you know, and Frank Hyde in the
Speaker 1: fucking annex of a non Jews. But we need each
Speaker 1: other and to think or to fool ourselves into thinking
Speaker 1: that feminism is going to succeed without the help of
Speaker 1: the men is preposterous and we're not gonna it's not
Speaker 1: You don't want to just like fucking fight and like
Speaker 1: pity each pity each other against each other. We want
Speaker 1: to help to understand each other and understand why people
Speaker 1: are misogynistic. I mean, I don't think there it's learned
Speaker 1: to behavior. Absolutely, you don't come out of the womb
Speaker 1: being like women you're all sluts and none of them
Speaker 1: should drive. Absolutely say that you learn it. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: want to change how we're raising both our women and
Speaker 1: our men and our question mark and our adopted kittens.
Speaker 1: And are you know everyone, oh yeah, and then all
Speaker 1: the genders, yeah, just everyone, yeah, and then so and
Speaker 1: so that's why it's so important and that's why we
Speaker 1: have interviews like that, and I think it's very important
Speaker 1: thing to force yourself to listen to those interviews more
Speaker 1: than anything else. Yeah, life is not a bubble, and
Speaker 1: everyone has their own individual story, and then every person
Speaker 1: also has their own individual reaction to another person's story.
Speaker 1: And I really don't like the time that we're in
Speaker 1: with the everyone so hyperbolic. Hyperbolic or hyperbolic hyperbole is
Speaker 1: like extreme exaggeration. Yeah, no, I know the way we
Speaker 1: talk about issues when we when we use hyperbolic language,
Speaker 1: it doesn't do us any good. I think you're when
Speaker 1: you when you use hyperbolely, I think you just that
Speaker 1: in that way the time I have to have someone
Speaker 1: email us and let me know. I don't know, I
Speaker 1: mean I but yeah, I mean it's you know, I
Speaker 1: want to figure out how to understand each other. That's
Speaker 1: the most important thing, because then that's how you develop empathy.
Speaker 1: Like that White people should be should educate themselves on
Speaker 1: issues going around in the black community, and and and
Speaker 1: straight people should be educating themselves on issues going on
Speaker 1: in the gay community and the trans community, and and like,
Speaker 1: we need to understand each other because we're all we're
Speaker 1: all humans. Guys, Well, we're so afraid of either being
Speaker 1: offended or offending other people and like, so like we
Speaker 1: are have our offenses stuff. I'm sure. I straight up
Speaker 1: asked my African coworker lots of what people would call
Speaker 1: racist questions all the time. But you know what, it's like,
Speaker 1: I'm I want I'm asking these questions because I want
Speaker 1: to understand, and like people ask your show worker like
Speaker 1: she's really cool, Like we're like we're cool like that.
Speaker 1: It's not like some random person on the street. This
Speaker 1: is someone who I have developed. What was your childhood?
Speaker 1: Like can you please me? So I just asked her,
Speaker 1: and I think a lot of things have been cleared up.
Speaker 1: And I have no problem when people ask me seemingly
Speaker 1: anti Semitic questions. I'm like, oh God, yes, anti Semitism
Speaker 1: is real, and a lot I can't believe that it's
Speaker 1: I mean, i'll tell you about it. That trade is
Speaker 1: something that boggles my mind anyway. But I'm like, Jesus Christ,
Speaker 1: we're still I mean, we just I was just reading
Speaker 1: an email about this this person who has a homophobic pastor,
Speaker 1: and she told us what he said, and I was like,
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, that the Orlando killings were not the worst.
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, that is. I think a lot of
Speaker 1: it is. I think a lot of it is also
Speaker 1: ignorance and confusion. Yeah, and I'm honestly I'm ignorant as
Speaker 1: fun to so many things, and like my goal in
Speaker 1: life is to be as when by the time I
Speaker 1: get like lowered into the ground and buried, or maybe
Speaker 1: i'll scape my ashes scattered on a cruise, I don't know,
Speaker 1: but by the time that happens, I want to be
Speaker 1: the least amount of ignorant possible, because that's like, that's
Speaker 1: that's how you can live a full life and then
Speaker 1: communicate with other human beings the best of your ability
Speaker 1: and really get the most out of the wonder that
Speaker 1: can be human interaction. But I really do mean that.
Speaker 1: I'm serious. Guys. Well, this is this email. This is
Speaker 1: an interesting email that I really liked. It's long, and
Speaker 1: I really hope I don't stumble. But we all know
Speaker 1: how bad I am a reading out loud, so wish
Speaker 1: me luck. I made the font really big. The subject
Speaker 1: line is high current and Christie, I could really use
Speaker 1: your advice. Parentheses not a joke, um, And it's from
Speaker 1: a guy. Hi. First of all, first, damn it. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: well you know what, I'm gonna take my tea yourself out,
Speaker 1: Yeah I did. You're right over. First off, I know
Speaker 1: the long subject line is way too long, but hopefully
Speaker 1: you'll see this now. I'd like to preface this by
Speaker 1: saying that it is not at all a joke. I
Speaker 1: really could use your help. Yeah, he told us that
Speaker 1: it's okay. I'm a twenty year old guy, but I
Speaker 1: haven't really had any sexual experiences, not asking for that
Speaker 1: kind of help, ha ha. I'm not really bothered by
Speaker 1: by that, but I think it serves for some background
Speaker 1: into my problem. To preface, I've never really called anyone
Speaker 1: a slut, and I have never disrespected guys or girls
Speaker 1: for the decisions they made. I try to think that
Speaker 1: whatever to consenting adults to do with each other is
Speaker 1: really none of my business. That being said, I don't
Speaker 1: really think I'm a very sex positive person. I've been trying.
Speaker 1: I even took a human sexuality class because I figured
Speaker 1: the professor there could help me a bit. I've had
Speaker 1: major paranoia about tons of things all my life. I'm
Speaker 1: actually going to see a shrink next month to get
Speaker 1: diagnosed and get some help through that pathway. In the meantime,
Speaker 1: I've been trying to work out some stuff on my own,
Speaker 1: being proactive and all anyway to finally get to my
Speaker 1: point of my problem is that I have a lot
Speaker 1: of paranoia and discussed around promiscuity, and built on that,
Speaker 1: I've developed a bit of disgust when it comes to sexuality.
Speaker 1: I know everyone has some baggage. I know I definitely
Speaker 1: not perfect, but when I hear uh, when I hear
Speaker 1: about someone who's either been with a lot of different
Speaker 1: partners or done some crazy sex acts or whatever, I
Speaker 1: lose attraction for them, and I feel like legitimately physically ill.
Speaker 1: No joke, I felt sick, like I feel sick like
Speaker 1: I ate some bad Asian foodles hurl every time he
Speaker 1: hears this podcast. I know, I'm surprised you listen um
Speaker 1: as you'd imagine. It makes pretty much it makes it
Speaker 1: pretty much impossible to approach women. No disrespect intended. Honestly,
Speaker 1: that wasn't disrespectful. I started listening to your podcast and
Speaker 1: try to try and get over it. Oh, it's good.
Speaker 1: I've talked with my friends and even human sexuality professor.
Speaker 1: I've heard everything from Get Over It Too, You're really
Speaker 1: just inexperienced. I really don't like feeling like this prudish,
Speaker 1: really uptight kind of person, and I feel bad about
Speaker 1: sort of judging all these people just off one characteristic
Speaker 1: about them, but it just makes me so uncomfortable. I'm
Speaker 1: really doing my best to get over it, and earnestly
Speaker 1: I want to move on from it. I looked like
Speaker 1: a fucking weirdo, dry heaving. When friends of mine brag
Speaker 1: to me about their exploits, they think it's funny. I
Speaker 1: don't anyway. I practically wrote an essay for you, but
Speaker 1: I hope it conveyed some of some honesty. I know
Speaker 1: this isn't every anywhere near as serious as the emails
Speaker 1: of you girls normally get uh sexual abuse coming out, etcetera.
Speaker 1: But I could really use some advice thanks in advance.
Speaker 1: And just to be clear, I don't really think very permissive,
Speaker 1: promiscuous people are lesser in any way. Although I don't
Speaker 1: think I'll ever be interested in casual sex, or that
Speaker 1: I'll ever be able to be comfortable in a relationship
Speaker 1: with a really wild girl, I know that the issue
Speaker 1: is with me and not with everyone else. Best wishes.
Speaker 1: I really liked this email because because he was like
Speaker 1: we all, I think every human being has issues or
Speaker 1: bias in their head that they recognize that they that
Speaker 1: aren't unfair, that aren't fair, that isn't a kind way
Speaker 1: to judge, they're really judging. But very few people are
Speaker 1: aware that what they're feeling isn't really nice and like
Speaker 1: to not say it out loud, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So that I really appreciated, like the self awareness to
Speaker 1: be like, I know this is a problem that I
Speaker 1: have and I don't know why, but like I think
Speaker 1: it's gross when my friends tell me about all the
Speaker 1: times they fuck. I don't, you know, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I thought that was a really good start, and I
Speaker 1: think I guess therapy because I don't know if something
Speaker 1: happened you when you were a kid, but I will say,
Speaker 1: like certain things, it's got to be traced back to
Speaker 1: when you were younger, because I reminded me of the
Speaker 1: time talk we gave, but like going into the roots
Speaker 1: of sexual shame, because I don't know if I've never
Speaker 1: talked about this, but my parents and I we never
Speaker 1: fucking talked about sex ever. Remember one time when I
Speaker 1: was like eight my parents owned after my dad retired
Speaker 1: from the military. They owned these like like collectible stores,
Speaker 1: So we would go to auctions and bid on these
Speaker 1: piles of junk and then sort through it in my
Speaker 1: living room and uh for things. And I remember I
Speaker 1: found a condom wrapped condom, and my parents were both
Speaker 1: both like looked at me, like, is she gonna ask
Speaker 1: us what this is? And we can Maybe they were
Speaker 1: going to tell me they weren't. I don't know, but
Speaker 1: I almost got the hives because I knew what it
Speaker 1: was and my parents were in the room, and I
Speaker 1: was like, I gotta go, and I ran upstairs for
Speaker 1: an hour and then to this day, I hate that
Speaker 1: I'm like this. But if I'm at home with my
Speaker 1: parents and we're watching a movie. First of all, when
Speaker 1: we pick a movie to watch on Netflix, I always
Speaker 1: I'm like, whatever is gonna have the least amount of
Speaker 1: sex stuff. That's very normal, though, is it? But I
Speaker 1: when a sexual situation happens on TV and my or
Speaker 1: a movie, when my parents from the room, I leave, Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: that's that. That the condom thing. I don't I don't
Speaker 1: know in the sensual anything. I don't know, But it's
Speaker 1: like it's like makes me so. You know, everyone feels
Speaker 1: uncomfortable when they're watching sex on TV with your parents. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like but not even like watching it, just like everyone
Speaker 1: girls cleave it. I don't know, it's weird that you
Speaker 1: feel like that. Everyone feels like that. I promised you, like,
Speaker 1: what's problem has been discussed, Well, this is this is
Speaker 1: more intense. And when he kind of sit at the
Speaker 1: end of the email doing that thing where I compare
Speaker 1: my like lesser thing than but that, but that is
Speaker 1: that that's normal. I mean I don't think you have
Speaker 1: going to leave the room. I do. I still do
Speaker 1: because I mean I think that almost makes it work. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's so obvious. There she goes about to go to
Speaker 1: the bathroom for ten minutes. You're like, I feel like
Speaker 1: some hot chocolate. Yeah, I go, and I browsed through
Speaker 1: the cabinets. But if it happens multiple times in the movie,
Speaker 1: I'll just go back to the same cabinet be like, oh,
Speaker 1: just crazines again and some black seed. Okay, see if
Speaker 1: it's delicious this time, I'll be home. No. But I
Speaker 1: felt was interesting about this email was that he kind
Speaker 1: of did I don't think this is as serious as
Speaker 1: these other things, Like I don't know, I kind of
Speaker 1: think it's just as serious in that this problem is
Speaker 1: going to affect your sex life forever and until you
Speaker 1: find out what's happening in your head. Yeah, it has
Speaker 1: to be from either the way that a parent or
Speaker 1: an adult or someone talked to you about sex and
Speaker 1: the way sex was portrayed as a kid. It also
Speaker 1: could be because you kind of think that you're dirty
Speaker 1: in some way. I have a friend who actually a
Speaker 1: very close friend, who basically after he has sex with
Speaker 1: a girl, loses a lot of attraction for her. And
Speaker 1: I was like, not, I've been with guys like that.
Speaker 1: What the funk? We were both there, we both had sex. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I mean there's something to be said about like
Speaker 1: how virginity is so valued, especially in America America, and
Speaker 1: like like an untouched woman, how like we you like
Speaker 1: a woman is almost like a car, Like as soon
Speaker 1: as you drive her off the lot, it loses she
Speaker 1: doesn't matter, you know. And it's it's so interesting that
Speaker 1: we think of women that way. But that's that's the
Speaker 1: whole history of objectifying women. I mean that goes hand
Speaker 1: in hand. But I mean, yeah, Number one, you definitely
Speaker 1: need to see a therapist because I mean, why you
Speaker 1: don't have to be like turned on by people who
Speaker 1: are hyper sexual, Like I know a lot of people
Speaker 1: who are probably wouldn't want to date either of us
Speaker 1: because hell yeah, yeah, I don't even necessarily have a
Speaker 1: problem with I don't either. I guess you like what
Speaker 1: you like. If something turns you off, it turns you off.
Speaker 1: This is a little more extreme than being turned off.
Speaker 1: But like, you should never feel bad about that. It's
Speaker 1: just what it is. And if I like, I've slept
Speaker 1: with guys who lost their attraction for me because I
Speaker 1: slept with them, or we slept with each other early,
Speaker 1: and like, bitch, you were there, but and it pisces
Speaker 1: me off. At the same time, what am I gonna do?
Speaker 1: He's not act if he's not a tracted me anymore
Speaker 1: onto the next Yeah, I mean, it's not something you
Speaker 1: should like as an individual. You should consider yourself. That's
Speaker 1: more something that we have to deal with as a society.
Speaker 1: It's such a larger issue. Like so many games I
Speaker 1: can play to make you fall in love with me,
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ given me some little cord is exhaust I know, um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I mean, so what would you Is there
Speaker 1: anything like beyond therapy that you could think of to
Speaker 1: recommend to this person? And I don't, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just I wanted. I just really liked this email
Speaker 1: and I liked how honest it was about it. And
Speaker 1: it's an issue that we we don't think we've really
Speaker 1: addressed it in the emails that we've gotten. And I
Speaker 1: don't know if I've ever remember reading anything like this
Speaker 1: where over sexually over sexualized women. I'm like, but this
Speaker 1: is like just as much as somebody could be like, oh,
Speaker 1: she's a stripper. I guess her dad left you when
Speaker 1: she was do maybe if your mother was promiscuous, you know,
Speaker 1: or your sister or like a woman in your life
Speaker 1: and you and it made you feel bad, like maybe
Speaker 1: they neglected you. And one of the reasons that you
Speaker 1: thought at the time or really was the reason, was
Speaker 1: to bang. That's interesting you know that that was That's
Speaker 1: the first thing that came to my mind. Yeah, a
Speaker 1: lot of people say you have been telling him like
Speaker 1: you're just really inexperience. I wouldn't say inexperience. It would
Speaker 1: be the reason. I think maybe it would be a
Speaker 1: discomfort with your stuff, because I mean, it does seem,
Speaker 1: it does feel to me like you're projecting something. I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna say usually when this is like when it
Speaker 1: he's definitely projecting something. I just don't know what it is.
Speaker 1: And it's has to do with like him the inner,
Speaker 1: because that's what I told my friend. I was like,
Speaker 1: you're projecting yourself hate onto the woman women you funk.
Speaker 1: But I know him really well so that was obvious
Speaker 1: and he was like, yeah, he's absolutely yeah, and also
Speaker 1: use a comic so, I mean, self hate was my
Speaker 1: number one go to anytime. A lot of times when
Speaker 1: people say like nasty things, it's because they don't like themselves.
Speaker 1: I mean, Jesus Christ, there's so many examples in the
Speaker 1: news of people fucking using violence and using all these
Speaker 1: horrible tactics in line because they are uncomfortable about something
Speaker 1: within themselves. Maybe you're uncomfortable that you're inexperience, but you're
Speaker 1: twenty years old, you're young, You're not. I mean, it's
Speaker 1: okay if you're an experience. And also, yeah, some parts
Speaker 1: of sex are kind of gross. Yeah, and sex for me,
Speaker 1: it didn't get good until my my mid to late twenties,
Speaker 1: because but you just have to like pratt, like, you know,
Speaker 1: whatever the amount of sexual experiences you have, like use
Speaker 1: them to learn. And you don't have to have a
Speaker 1: ton if you don't want to have ton and if
Speaker 1: you don't want to have casual sex. Like in the
Speaker 1: beginning of my sexual career, the thought of casualist sex
Speaker 1: honestly probably would have been uh made me not just
Speaker 1: as well, Yeah, yeah, because you don't Yeah, you just
Speaker 1: don't know. And then you're like, ship, how do I
Speaker 1: even have sex? I forget? Yeah, And it made me.
Speaker 1: It made me. I remember the first time I had
Speaker 1: sex after the first person, so the second time, the
Speaker 1: second person I had sex with because I had had
Speaker 1: sex with my first boyfriend and then we dated for
Speaker 1: almost five years, so that's a long time to be
Speaker 1: sexually active but only with one one person. And then
Speaker 1: so it's like, I'm, you know, twenty four, three or
Speaker 1: four years old, and then you realize how many dicks
Speaker 1: there are in this day and then but then it
Speaker 1: was like to get past that hump and to have
Speaker 1: sex with that second person was a fucking project. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that makes sense. It took a very long time and
Speaker 1: I felt very scared because I was like, I have
Speaker 1: only done this with one person, and I've done it
Speaker 1: for so long I have and that and I was
Speaker 1: your first person. I really looked out with my first person,
Speaker 1: my first bofend. He just just a fucking gem and
Speaker 1: just dealt with it in the most comfort and it's
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure that's a lot of the reason why.
Speaker 1: I mean I am now so comfortable with sex. He
Speaker 1: just made me so so comfortable with everything. Yeah, so yeah,
Speaker 1: that hump. I mean sometimes I even like, if Steve
Speaker 1: and I haven't had sex in a while, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I forget. Yeah, sometimes I just forget. Or if you've
Speaker 1: had sex drunk a bunch of times and then you
Speaker 1: try to have it sober and you're like, wait, this
Speaker 1: isn't what I thought. Fucking nerve racking. Yeah it is sexist.
Speaker 1: Yeah it's okay. I still get nervous during sex sometimes,
Speaker 1: like gosh, shit, I gotta I gotta wiggle and do stuff.
Speaker 1: I can't just lay here. Yeah, like, all this is
Speaker 1: the same thing I did last time. Fuck. Yeah, maybe
Speaker 1: I should have like miss it up. Maybe you could
Speaker 1: go behind me this time and all draw a little
Speaker 1: message on my back, you know, just as like a
Speaker 1: nice little side note. Um. Yeah, but look within the
Speaker 1: end um. Also, Guys Um. All the music that you
Speaker 1: hear on all the episodes of Guys we fund pretty
Speaker 1: much since the Amber Rose episode is submitted by people
Speaker 1: who listen to this podcast and make really good music.
Speaker 1: So if you are said person and you were interested
Speaker 1: in submitting a song to to be on our podcast,
Speaker 1: send us stream links to g WF podcast Music at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. That email will go to Stephen And
Speaker 1: then don't forget this weekend if you're in New York,
Speaker 1: it's Gay Pride Parade, Gay Pride weekend. It'll be amazing. Um.
Speaker 1: I'll be with Grant, who you heard on the podcast
Speaker 1: working for New Alternatives, which is an awesome l g
Speaker 1: B t Q I a uh youth home um and
Speaker 1: they provide services mental health and food and clothing and
Speaker 1: shelter and just a place to kind of uh commune
Speaker 1: um to young endangered LGBT endangered endangered yeah like endangered
Speaker 1: speech No, not endangered like that way, but at risk. Yeah,
Speaker 1: at risk that's the word I'm looking for. Not all
Speaker 1: parents are great, yeah, no, absolutely not. You know, sometimes
Speaker 1: if your parents are okay, and you still just want
Speaker 1: to be with people who are like you. But we'll
Speaker 1: be around and we'll be collecting money and we would
Speaker 1: like to read a lot of money. Yeah, because they
Speaker 1: lost their space, so let's do it. And then happy
Speaker 1: fourth birthday to Karin from San Antonio. You gotta shout
Speaker 1: out because you have my name. Yeah, forward me the
Speaker 1: email because can we shout this girl out? I like
Speaker 1: people named Karin, And I was like, okay, um, okay, guys,
Speaker 1: our guest. I love him so much. He um. I
Speaker 1: met him when we were in Austin, Texas. We did
Speaker 1: shows together. When when he and I took glamor Puss
Speaker 1: there um. He is a stand up comedian in l A.
Speaker 1: He's He has co hosted the Joe Rogan Experience podcast,
Speaker 1: Very Good podcast, and produces the Kill Tony podcast. He's
Speaker 1: a really funny stand up comedian. Uh maybe he's also
Speaker 1: one of those interviews that you're gonna love and hey,
Speaker 1: I don't know. He's a very honest. Well it's a comedian,
Speaker 1: so I like. I like how honest the comedians are
Speaker 1: with how they feel, even if how they feel isn't
Speaker 1: going to be accepted. And while we received by the group. Um,
Speaker 1: but he's one of my favorite people. Um, ladies and gentlemen,
Speaker 1: please give it up for Mr brow Red Band. I
Speaker 1: don't get nah. I'm a fucking rook. I don't get pussy.
Speaker 1: I want me some fucking pussy. Pussy push. Please put
Speaker 1: a cherry on top. Flick that cherry off. Kill it pop,
Speaker 1: because ain't no joke. This is serious. I don't get pussy.
Speaker 1: And if I said I'm delirious, I love Kylie Minknbill
Speaker 1: to go up and down, to keep vanilla from the dean,
Speaker 1: which means I'm killer donuts and served the killer killer killer,
Speaker 1: never had the luck down. Keep it up front, not
Speaker 1: going behind your back when I keep it fun. I
Speaker 1: want to be past cloud nine, up and away with
Speaker 1: my nine when I see my round kit or comes
Speaker 1: full circle. Let me be stuff on instead of URK
Speaker 1: mixed the Red and Blue pill bitch. I got perfect bold.
Speaker 1: I don't get after this. We're in a hotel rooms.
Speaker 1: Not be your fucking now at this moment. It's one
Speaker 1: random guy that I met that I might for a
Speaker 1: second and forget I did it. Brian Red Band, Everybody,
Speaker 1: we're here A Brian Red Band Hello, Brian good I
Speaker 1: just woke up from a little old man nap. Yeah
Speaker 1: you did. You pieced out of that Ralph you may
Speaker 1: show and you're like, I got a nap. Yeah, weekend
Speaker 1: caught up quick. Yeah, well, I mean you look, you
Speaker 1: did it a little harder than necessary. He went a little.
Speaker 1: It's hard to It's easy to get crazy in Nashville fast, dude.
Speaker 1: Nashville is party city, baby. Yeah. My still my favorite
Speaker 1: moment all of the trip was when you didn't get
Speaker 1: a gift bag. He concierge gift back. He didn't get
Speaker 1: welcome back, and you're like, no, it's fine, it's fine.
Speaker 1: And then they went back and then they're like, we've
Speaker 1: got some cancelations if you want. Oh, Cathy Griffin didn't
Speaker 1: want her. Yeah. I want to know if if the
Speaker 1: gift bags all the same, where did they all come with?
Speaker 1: Like you you gotta go shut then up? You did
Speaker 1: not Netflix but a buzz Wise, budd Wise or vibrator, Yeah,
Speaker 1: bud Light, anal trainer, dude, bud light. Yeah you just
Speaker 1: how old are you? You? Damn you look like a man. Baby. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I shave and everything I could get. Idea
Speaker 1: for cigarettes still are you white? Yeah, why did you
Speaker 1: hesitate on that? Well, I mean, I'm like, I'm but
Speaker 1: I'm mostly like Irish German. And then anyone that's from
Speaker 1: the Big Blast is like, oh, yeah, I got Native
Speaker 1: American in me. No, you don't prove it. I'm actually
Speaker 1: going to get a DNA to as one of those
Speaker 1: like mail in just to say, and then I won't
Speaker 1: tell anybody about it if it's just white, because you're
Speaker 1: just dying, dying to find out that you're part black, right,
Speaker 1: that's Christina. Christine was like, if she's like one black,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I know she's gonna start checking a different
Speaker 1: box when she fills out for hims. I kind of
Speaker 1: think that, like like during the summer about or about
Speaker 1: you know, about me, I think I think the same,
Speaker 1: Like during the summer, I'll look like a light skinned
Speaker 1: black guy. Like nothing about you screams exotic. Yeah, sorry,
Speaker 1: we mean, I mean, you're you're simply adorable but not. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we just went to the best last night was one
Speaker 1: of the most fun strip club experiences. We all shared it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it was just me, Brian and Karin. The only
Speaker 1: strip club in the area that closed at five am.
Speaker 1: We had an hour ago. We're like, let's do this.
Speaker 1: I was, I was, I was. You were really tired,
Speaker 1: and I was like, thanks for powering through. I just
Speaker 1: want to see what it's like. You know, I don't
Speaker 1: I don't really have fomo, but I was like your
Speaker 1: co host, guys, we let's just take lof of the team.
Speaker 1: This is a business. This is a business thing. We
Speaker 1: saw some poll climbing like I've never seen in my life.
Speaker 1: Phenomenal work. Yeah, it isn't that one girl that you
Speaker 1: would like try to follow around to start a finger
Speaker 1: Did you ever talk to her? Yeah? I gave her,
Speaker 1: gave her money, like and I tried to get a
Speaker 1: lap dance. But then I looked around noticed I was
Speaker 1: the only white person there, and uh, it seemed like
Speaker 1: she wasn't having like like no, no, it's I'm done
Speaker 1: for the night. So I was behind you and I
Speaker 1: had money because we were way back and we weren't
Speaker 1: near the stage. I was getting gathering all these bills
Speaker 1: because I wanted to give them to her. I'm like,
Speaker 1: You're amazing. She didn't want you, guys, reparation. She didn't.
Speaker 1: She did not because her friend were like like like
Speaker 1: pushed her away from me and like, I guess I
Speaker 1: won't give you money. I'm sorry. You were great though. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was that was weird that a club. Did you
Speaker 1: see the ninety nine year old man on the verge
Speaker 1: of death being grinded on by like a thirty five
Speaker 1: year old woman with giant tits who looked like kind
Speaker 1: of like China. May she rest in peace? No, I
Speaker 1: didn't shape up. Side note, that was my favorite part.
Speaker 1: This was the Circusley of strip clubs because there were
Speaker 1: so many areas of things going on. There was different
Speaker 1: rings there for knacks. This guy was on the verge
Speaker 1: of debt, like he was about to croak. I couldn't
Speaker 1: believe it. I've never seen him person Yeah, way worse.
Speaker 1: And he just this girl was just grinding on him.
Speaker 1: And she had jeans on, so I was like, I
Speaker 1: guess she's not a stripper. She had capre jeans, shape ups,
Speaker 1: a large butterfly lower back tattoos, like no, why is
Speaker 1: that You're you're living stereotype, an ankle tattoo, and at
Speaker 1: one point she lifted up her shirt and we only
Speaker 1: saw the side boob of it, but she wasn't wearing
Speaker 1: a bra and she moved her boobs like yeah, without
Speaker 1: touching any very erectedties. Yeah, do you see the smoking patio? No,
Speaker 1: you went back in the back room. I thought that
Speaker 1: was the private lap dance room and I was scared
Speaker 1: to go in there. It was, yeah, you should have
Speaker 1: got Like if you're seen the movie Adventures in Babysitting
Speaker 1: on an old movie. I wasn't born when it was made,
Speaker 1: four or five years after. I didn't. I did watch it,
Speaker 1: but there's a scene where she walks excellently walks into
Speaker 1: this jazz club and all the music stops and everyone's
Speaker 1: like stairs, like just looks over to see like who
Speaker 1: comes in? And then this and then this one guy
Speaker 1: goes nobody leaves his place singing the blues, you know,
Speaker 1: Like that's what it felt like going out to the guys.
Speaker 1: Like it was like like fifteen people all in like
Speaker 1: a conversation or a rap battle. I don't know what
Speaker 1: they're doing. And then I opened the door. It was
Speaker 1: just like scratch on the record, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I shouldn't you ruin their party? Brian? I did something
Speaker 1: because I really wanted you to watch it. Try and
Speaker 1: hit on, you know, try and get get in with
Speaker 1: that amazing pole dancer girl. And then I saw you
Speaker 1: lingering in the corner, just like with your hands and
Speaker 1: your problem. What's he doing? He's not doing He's not
Speaker 1: He's moving farther away from the goal, not closer to it.
Speaker 1: That was one of those certain kind of drunks that
Speaker 1: usually gets me in trouble, and I think The Adventures
Speaker 1: and Babysitting Patio is one that kind of woke me
Speaker 1: up and like, hey man, you better not sunk around here,
Speaker 1: and you should go probably just go back to your seat.
Speaker 1: And what kinds of drunk trouble do you get in
Speaker 1: a lot A lot of bad decision making, like I was.
Speaker 1: I was at a strip club in Vegas and I
Speaker 1: spent so much money I had to put a thumb
Speaker 1: print down and uh three signatures. Yeah. They actually interrupted.
Speaker 1: They were like these two girls go, oh, you know,
Speaker 1: we're really horny, but there's a room that we could
Speaker 1: like all have sex and if you want to. And
Speaker 1: I was like yeah. She's like, but you have to
Speaker 1: pay for both of their dreams too, and all this crap,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, let's do it. I'm so horny
Speaker 1: to get in there. And then everything starts like off awesome,
Speaker 1: and then like three minutes into it, this guy goes, sorry,
Speaker 1: Brian on need a couple of things real quick, and
Speaker 1: so that interrupts the whole thing, and then I had
Speaker 1: to sign it and put my thumber. I thought, I
Speaker 1: was like, this is this weird, you know, like dumb
Speaker 1: brands really weird. But maybe it's a Vegas Did you
Speaker 1: give him a card? And they're worried what's gonna decline?
Speaker 1: I know. I think what they were doing is is
Speaker 1: like that you have to pay, like we have proof
Speaker 1: that you are accepting this, and blah blah blah. But
Speaker 1: I was so drunk I just like, whatever, man, I'm
Speaker 1: just warning you all. And then it pretty much was
Speaker 1: like fifteen minutes of just teasing. They never even like,
Speaker 1: I don't think. One girl took off her clothes and
Speaker 1: she they said you were gonna fun. Yeah. They straight
Speaker 1: up said we're horny, let's go in this room and fun.
Speaker 1: Yeah exactly, and then it was over, it said and done,
Speaker 1: nothing happened. Then the guy comes back and it was
Speaker 1: like hey, you know, and it was you got ripped off?
Speaker 1: I got screwed? Were you mad? I was so drunk
Speaker 1: that I was just like, fuck whatever, because when I
Speaker 1: get horny and then I think something's going to happen
Speaker 1: and it doesn't. And for women that doesn't happen often
Speaker 1: where it doesn't where you you don't get sex or something. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I get so mad. Yeah you didn't get mad. No,
Speaker 1: I got mad. I I furiously masturbated in my in
Speaker 1: my room. Yeah. And the same night, same, this is crazy.
Speaker 1: I was actually piste off. I go back to my hotel.
Speaker 1: I get in the elevator in this like the hottest
Speaker 1: woman like it was one of those movie scenes where
Speaker 1: the doors open and just a supermodels all just sitting
Speaker 1: there by herself in the elevator, gets in the floor
Speaker 1: or gets off the same floor as me, and the
Speaker 1: whole time she's just like look back and smiling. I'm smiling.
Speaker 1: Then she slowly just follows me to my room and
Speaker 1: I'm like, what is this? I mean, she kind of
Speaker 1: seemed then I started sucking her dick, but no, and
Speaker 1: then and then and then she kept on looking back.
Speaker 1: And I get to my door and she's just like hi,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, hey, uh are you going to rape?
Speaker 1: You want to have some drinks in my room and
Speaker 1: she's just follows me into my room, pushes me up
Speaker 1: against the door, or like getting my room, pushing me
Speaker 1: up against the wall. We start making out and then
Speaker 1: she just goes stops and she goes, uh, you have
Speaker 1: to pay to play. And I'm like, oh, and I
Speaker 1: know I thought you were a real woman. Like that's
Speaker 1: exactly quote for quote what I said. That's valid, though,
Speaker 1: that's valid. That was very aggressive. Yeah, it was totally
Speaker 1: and that damn it. It was. It was like a
Speaker 1: lot of money. It was like, I think a thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: She said she was high. She was like a high
Speaker 1: end one. And then she gave me and we're kiss
Speaker 1: and left and she's and I'm like, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, Like I felt bad, Like you shouldn't
Speaker 1: be sorry. You can know you were a chest by
Speaker 1: a supermodel. And then we're sorry for you and then
Speaker 1: asked for money and I'm so sorry for your struggle.
Speaker 1: It's hard to be a man sometimes, I mean, until
Speaker 1: you masturbate and calm, then it's fine and you know,
Speaker 1: like all this was way better after you know, it sucks.
Speaker 1: It gets so frustrating to be a guy sometimes and
Speaker 1: then immediately, who cares, if you know, let's go to bed.
Speaker 1: What's the most frustrating guy moment you've ever had? I
Speaker 1: don't know. It's happened so much like every time I
Speaker 1: get a massage, you get handies a massage parlot. I
Speaker 1: was addicted to it for a while. I went through
Speaker 1: the whole because I didn't know that was a thing.
Speaker 1: And then, uh, there's this website called rub maps dot com,
Speaker 1: which is like yelped for massage parlors. You could pretty
Speaker 1: much just put in what your addresses and then it
Speaker 1: will tell you like, oh, down the street you can
Speaker 1: get a blowjob for forty dollars, or down the street
Speaker 1: you can have full sex. Don't do they don't anal here,
Speaker 1: you know. And then traffic for this website it's going
Speaker 1: to skyrock an here. Yeah. And so then that immediately
Speaker 1: was I didn't know that road. It was more like
Speaker 1: a challenge, like like, okay, so this website is telling
Speaker 1: me the best thing is to get completely naked. You know.
Speaker 1: If they have like any kind of small towels, just
Speaker 1: throw them in the corner, like you know, and like
Speaker 1: don't look at them, don't unfold them. Yeah, and it's
Speaker 1: like some like, so I started off didn't know how
Speaker 1: to do Like a lot of people were like, you know,
Speaker 1: just rubb her leg when she's doing your back, because
Speaker 1: how do you initiate exactly what if stab girls? Not
Speaker 1: the blow job girl exactly, she's the actual you gotta
Speaker 1: not in your shoulder girl. I don't think anyone at
Speaker 1: these places actually graduated from the Swedish Institute, Like I
Speaker 1: don't think this is like because they do actual massages.
Speaker 1: They're right if a woman walked and I think they
Speaker 1: would actually like rub your back and like roll their
Speaker 1: eyes while your head was down in the cradle there there, baby,
Speaker 1: They're like, oh, this is a cheap one. I would
Speaker 1: say almost every massage place does hand jobs, like almost
Speaker 1: all ninety percent of How did you not the one
Speaker 1: where I work out? Well, I first started. My first
Speaker 1: one was one of the places at the mall. Kidding,
Speaker 1: I'm just completely naked in front of foot locker in
Speaker 1: the chair in the middle of the mall. It wasn't
Speaker 1: even a store, was a key but open here. No. No.
Speaker 1: The first one was like real, like it was so scary,
Speaker 1: like I I was like, okay, here you go. I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna rub her leg, and I start rubbing her
Speaker 1: leg and the first woman just immediately takes my hand
Speaker 1: off her leg and puts it back ship. But then
Speaker 1: when I flipped over, she just immediately goes, uh, change
Speaker 1: your tune, not on you. Yeah, she just didn't want
Speaker 1: any kind of like passion or connection with you. But
Speaker 1: she's like, I'll touch your deck, n yeah, and then
Speaker 1: she whispered forty. Yeah. They usually just got well, hand
Speaker 1: jobs are forty, blow jobs are eighty? Full six? Is one?
Speaker 1: Do you have? Do they have to do? They have
Speaker 1: to hand job or blow job? You do completion? I
Speaker 1: think they do like if you take too long, if
Speaker 1: they like one of those timers, like when they're doing
Speaker 1: reflexology on your foot and it's like before they before
Speaker 1: they engage in the in the activity, they show you
Speaker 1: the time or you'll be amazed. They have the best
Speaker 1: hand job techniques. They don't want to do this ship,
Speaker 1: so they do just like where they're yeah, they're they're
Speaker 1: twirling the corkscrew. Yeah, the qurk screw. Well, there's like
Speaker 1: a lot of things. They will blow on it, like
Speaker 1: they do a quirkscrew, like like what I thought a
Speaker 1: blowjob was when I was twelve, Like, you just blow
Speaker 1: on it as it you blow on it and then
Speaker 1: they're like, wow, that was great. Being a girl's lazy. No,
Speaker 1: I got ship. Do these massage places have punch cards?
Speaker 1: They do the sex ones? Do they have? No? I know,
Speaker 1: I know, I'm asking about them. I know the other
Speaker 1: one actually my nails done. They do have a punch
Speaker 1: blow you get your dick blow nine times, you get
Speaker 1: a handy for free tenth ones on us. It's literally
Speaker 1: and it really in my face, and it's it's really
Speaker 1: weird because they go because instead of like having your
Speaker 1: name on it, because not people are going to give
Speaker 1: their name, so you you give your first name and
Speaker 1: the last two of your birthday. So it's like Brian
Speaker 1: seventy four, and so they go right the same, Oh
Speaker 1: you're fifth time, you know, and it's just the next
Speaker 1: one on me. Did you say it judge mentally? Huh? No,
Speaker 1: I mean the madam, which is usually you come in
Speaker 1: there's an older occasion lady that must have been retired
Speaker 1: from it, your setted mentally, Hey, whatever you want to do.
Speaker 1: You start to all complaints to Brian right back, not us.
Speaker 1: And actually the reason that madam is why I stopped
Speaker 1: doing it. Because one time I was there's this place
Speaker 1: in Santa Monica that was right next I had a
Speaker 1: show at it was like an hour early, and I
Speaker 1: was like, get a half hour next door. God, guys
Speaker 1: have it. They can get off whenever, a wherever. But
Speaker 1: you also like kind of like test dangerous. You go
Speaker 1: through dangerous situations to get Yeah, but no one can
Speaker 1: rape you. I mean I know men could get raped,
Speaker 1: yeah obviously, but I mean, well, I'm not gonna be
Speaker 1: like scared stopped. Uh this might answer your question, madam.
Speaker 1: She this is like nine thirty at night and they
Speaker 1: usually close about ten. Now I know that. Uh so
Speaker 1: she's she's like, oh, you know, she didn't kind of
Speaker 1: didn't seem happy that I was there. I just about
Speaker 1: to close exactly. So she comes and she goes just
Speaker 1: go to the room, you know, being for in a bit.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, well, this old lady, thank you. I
Speaker 1: feel bad and she seems upset. Did I hear her
Speaker 1: like going to the bathroom And it's one of those
Speaker 1: places it was so quiet you could hear the pe
Speaker 1: going in the you know, because the walls are papers.
Speaker 1: Then yeah, and all this ship going on. Then the
Speaker 1: door opens, it's the same old lady now wearing a
Speaker 1: teddy and I'm like, oh my god, no, don't want this,
Speaker 1: like no, not her, like like it was gross, like
Speaker 1: it was immediately this is not right. But huh no,
Speaker 1: you a shaming the guys. Seven year old woman, that's okay. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would feel bad too. I'd feel bad having a
Speaker 1: seven year old woman hold a door for me a
Speaker 1: little and stuck my dick. Yeah, like this was a
Speaker 1: tie place to like where you're climb on you and stuff.
Speaker 1: So she's climbing on me. This old woman just starts climbing.
Speaker 1: I'm naked, like I'm like trying to like go damn,
Speaker 1: I was gonna throw that towel in the corner, you know.
Speaker 1: And so she's on me and she keeps up going
Speaker 1: like she just ate and she's just blowing Chinese smell
Speaker 1: food like seafoods burps in my and her her hands
Speaker 1: were so calloused that it felt like that she just
Speaker 1: had nails Herkay, it was hard, it's hard for her.
Speaker 1: She flipped over and just the second she grabbed my dick,
Speaker 1: it's just climbed inside my body and I did I
Speaker 1: just was like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just remember
Speaker 1: I didn't want that. I wanted a massage, ma'am. That
Speaker 1: is so, were you just sexually harass me? Sexual harassment
Speaker 1: when I didn't want it got fast and I felt
Speaker 1: bad because she got all dressed up for me and
Speaker 1: she put on this little but it probably took her
Speaker 1: a long time because she was scared me. Now, was
Speaker 1: that one of those places where you had to like
Speaker 1: give a sign that you wanted your dick sucked? Like
Speaker 1: could somebody just go in for a massage or you
Speaker 1: couldn't even find the place. I don't think this was
Speaker 1: a place for any kind of legit massage, Like I
Speaker 1: think this was straight horhouse, which there's a few of
Speaker 1: those are in I feel a lot of those also
Speaker 1: where it's not even a massage. You walk in and
Speaker 1: they just kind of like touch you like a couple
Speaker 1: of times in the back. And then there's one place
Speaker 1: in l A that's connected. It's a marijuana place on
Speaker 1: one side, and then a place that has just Brazilians
Speaker 1: fresh off the boat, like these twenty one year olds
Speaker 1: that that don't even speak English yet, and so you
Speaker 1: just get a massage and then you go to the
Speaker 1: same owner owns the weed shop, and you joints after
Speaker 1: you're done and leave. But that I feel they don't
Speaker 1: want to be do they want to be there? They
Speaker 1: want to be in America. They don't want to be there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I gotta be in America. But I also got to
Speaker 1: suck random those dicks. Got to pay for those butts,
Speaker 1: those Brazilian because America that good. That like you're like,
Speaker 1: all right, you can come to America long or one condition. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there was definitely a lot of sex slaves going on.
Speaker 1: It's like Orange County and San Diego. It felt like
Speaker 1: a lot of these girls were in the they didn't
Speaker 1: want to be there maybe, but how you got me hard? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was just like you can get off? What are
Speaker 1: you being seriously honestly, No, seriously, Like sometimes you can
Speaker 1: go in there and you're like, wow, this this girl
Speaker 1: is just shy and why is she a girl ever
Speaker 1: seems scared before she sucked her dick. She's in one
Speaker 1: of those places. They just seemed like very out of place,
Speaker 1: like you know, like I mean, is it was kidnapped
Speaker 1: out of her place? Yeah, and you still got your
Speaker 1: extra No, that was like hand drop places this is
Speaker 1: not not yet, but you still it didn't affect your
Speaker 1: boner her reluctance. Well, it apparently made it harder. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The thing is that they're so trained that that you
Speaker 1: don't even have to do anything. You to flip over,
Speaker 1: and they're just that's they're so trained. That's something you
Speaker 1: just said about a human being their choice traffic like no, no, Bryan, Ryan,
Speaker 1: don't make me put the rope back on. I could
Speaker 1: see the tan line where it was not Brian, You're
Speaker 1: a monster and I love you. Oh man, No, you're
Speaker 1: not kidding that. Now. Do you have afterwards? A moral dilemma?
Speaker 1: Has there ever been a moral dilemma in your head
Speaker 1: about that? Because these women like their lives are taken
Speaker 1: from them. Yeah, there's a few of them. Like I
Speaker 1: said that, I've been in that. I was like, yikes,
Speaker 1: this is not this is depressing to be in here.
Speaker 1: But you know, after I'm I want to go it
Speaker 1: in save them. I know we should pay for your
Speaker 1: last hand drop by one of the twenty one year olds,
Speaker 1: and then we'll be like put on like come in
Speaker 1: and get them out, hey girl, come with me, Come
Speaker 1: on girl, they'll get you. Where is that a stone,
Speaker 1: You'll be fine. They get rated a lot, and what's
Speaker 1: really weird? I hope? So, Yeah, what's really get while
Speaker 1: you're getting you dick sock? Well, that's the thing. If
Speaker 1: I hear people come in, what if all you have
Speaker 1: to do is like, you know, pull the head off
Speaker 1: anything like, No, that's not happening. You know, Like I
Speaker 1: don't understand how they pull the head off off. I mean,
Speaker 1: how do you get rated? Like you're going to hear
Speaker 1: like when they walk they just come in because when
Speaker 1: they suspect that you're smuggling drug, like when they raid
Speaker 1: people's houses and they've seen the videos of it, they
Speaker 1: just fucking they don't even give any warnings go undercover.
Speaker 1: That wouldn't one of the officers come in and try
Speaker 1: to see I think that's how that's how you do
Speaker 1: it for prostitutions. See if they can get there dick
Speaker 1: suck and they don't. Yeah, but what if they did, Well,
Speaker 1: what if you think a couple of minutes null and void.
Speaker 1: I think what's scarier is going to like get actually
Speaker 1: like an escort, like going to a hotel room or something.
Speaker 1: Have you done that? No, I've really the only time
Speaker 1: I ever tried to get an escort ever. Was in
Speaker 1: San Francisco and it was like no, But it was
Speaker 1: like one of those ads where it's just like real
Speaker 1: and like they like just throw them out, you know,
Speaker 1: like like like on the streets, like you see all
Speaker 1: these little flyers, like you know, you know, call me now,
Speaker 1: like in Vegas they have a little car and some stuff. Really,
Speaker 1: So it was four in the morning and I did
Speaker 1: that and I've never done it before. She comes to
Speaker 1: my hotel room and it's just around the flyer, you know,
Speaker 1: guaranteed me and type thing. It was the Asian girl
Speaker 1: and then or it was a Mexican chick on the flyer.
Speaker 1: Open it up. It's just an Asian girl. And I
Speaker 1: was like, this is not you on the flyer and
Speaker 1: she goes, yeah it is. I'm like, okay, I'm not
Speaker 1: going to argue about this. And then and then I
Speaker 1: really want my dick sucks. It's fine, wait till yell
Speaker 1: peers about this after I come home and write you
Speaker 1: a main review. So I put like a hundred fifty
Speaker 1: dollars give her hundred fifty dollars and she goes, okay,
Speaker 1: that's she. She she's scammed me. She goes, that's just
Speaker 1: for me to either talk to you or massage you.
Speaker 1: Then she goes, if you want sex, that's the next
Speaker 1: her hundred fifty dollars or this and two D girl. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like so she she was playing me, but I wouldn't
Speaker 1: do it. I was like, no way, I already give
Speaker 1: you the money and she was sorry, and I'm like
Speaker 1: fine that I just want you to give me a
Speaker 1: massage and talk to me like I was making like
Speaker 1: I was like I'll get that, you know, uh, And
Speaker 1: then she gave me this bullshit massage. But I interviewed
Speaker 1: her like because she's because she said I could talk,
Speaker 1: just talk to her. So I asked her about her night.
Speaker 1: She's like, yeah, I've done like twenty one different people tonight.
Speaker 1: I was on my way home. Then you called me
Speaker 1: like after the after talking to her, like giving her
Speaker 1: like a podcast interview while she did it, I was
Speaker 1: so happy. I didn't like it. Disgusted me, like, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: what she had to go through. Imagine having sex with
Speaker 1: her after after talking. I think you guys are coming
Speaker 1: at this from different things, because Christina is hard to
Speaker 1: get right place, and you're saying you were disgusted by
Speaker 1: all the things she had to do, and Brian was
Speaker 1: just disgusted because he didn't want to be they second
Speaker 1: person of the night. Oh, I did think that your
Speaker 1: heart was in the right place. You're wrong, That's what
Speaker 1: I meant, generic brand turtle over here. Everyone, I liked you.
Speaker 1: I liked you twenty minutes ago. Brian. Now I'm not
Speaker 1: so sure. But really, and I know, I think you're
Speaker 1: nice guy, good guy. From the times that I've hung
Speaker 1: out with you. You're fun fun. But but but I'll
Speaker 1: go as far as that is the liberalism getting But like,
Speaker 1: for real, there are so many young women who get kidnapped.
Speaker 1: And I think of the times where I set to
Speaker 1: dick and I really didn't want to and that scarred me. Right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, there's right ruin I want to say, though,
Speaker 1: I think the majority is completely different, Like like there
Speaker 1: there's been a few times where I've been like this
Speaker 1: is a little sketchy, but for the outside the most part,
Speaker 1: even there's in San Diego, there's usc students that would
Speaker 1: go down there on the weekends to make money for
Speaker 1: school and come back like this one girl was just
Speaker 1: like a twenty two year old normal white chick from
Speaker 1: the Midwest, and I'm like, how is how are you
Speaker 1: doing this? And she guys, I make like thousands of dollars,
Speaker 1: you know do this? I make like thousands of dollars.
Speaker 1: The yeah, that's what she said. But no, you know
Speaker 1: that whole thing it got worse because then I was
Speaker 1: like I got to used to it, and so then
Speaker 1: I would get like boner pills from gas stations and
Speaker 1: take them. I was gonna say, how did you know
Speaker 1: you were addicted to getting handies and massage parlors because
Speaker 1: it was like immediate, like like I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: having a sad day. I want you know, that was
Speaker 1: your go to for every day. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I could have, you know, be with a girl for
Speaker 1: for eighty dollars. You know, man, I can get a
Speaker 1: hand job and a massage for eighty bucks. You know
Speaker 1: you always talked to girls when you pay for them
Speaker 1: like a lot or because it that seems like if
Speaker 1: you're having a sad day and you just want the companionship,
Speaker 1: Like for me, like like someone touching my vagina is
Speaker 1: not going to help that. I didn't know human touch,
Speaker 1: you know, it's human touch. Absolutely. People come into the
Speaker 1: spot where I work all the time for human touch, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it wasn't It's not more like having a conversation
Speaker 1: with There was a few that would go to like
Speaker 1: on a regular that that was like just being friends
Speaker 1: with the person. Yeah. Like, there's this one woman on
Speaker 1: the street for me. She is just like at five
Speaker 1: year old woman and she has her own low massage
Speaker 1: parlor pick and she's just talking to you about her
Speaker 1: son while she's sucking her dick, like it's just like
Speaker 1: my son and just as a graduate about to graduate,
Speaker 1: And it's the most weirdest thing. Can you request that's rude?
Speaker 1: I can't even imagine it's coming out of my mouth.
Speaker 1: I was you, But like, could you request that she
Speaker 1: not talked while she's Yeah? Yeah, I just stopped going
Speaker 1: to her. But like what it's crazy? What's crazy is
Speaker 1: I like I recorded her because I would I would
Speaker 1: record all my sets, you know, like like like a
Speaker 1: turn on my my voice, recording on my phone, put
Speaker 1: it in my shoe just because you know, for like proofed,
Speaker 1: just because it's so sketchy to be on your phone
Speaker 1: right now, your cords all his blowjobs? Yeah, I probably
Speaker 1: I probably do, actually, but I have her telling me
Speaker 1: about her son when when she wasn't actually giving me
Speaker 1: a blowjob, but like it was handy. She was just
Speaker 1: massaging at the same time and like just and it
Speaker 1: was it was it was the opposite of what you
Speaker 1: want to massage. He went quietness, you'd like almost fall asleep,
Speaker 1: whether there's something sensual or calming or like hey, run
Speaker 1: she hasd me to move in with her. She's like
Speaker 1: my roommate just smooped out, would you like move in?
Speaker 1: I don't care if you have girls over? And like
Speaker 1: it made somebody in my leaf. Oh wow, so you
Speaker 1: do you still pay for like pay for sexual activities.
Speaker 1: So I honestly it was like three months, three to
Speaker 1: six months. Yeah, it was just because I didn't know.
Speaker 1: And it went from it was a summer of handy.
Speaker 1: It was, but it was like I caught myself getting
Speaker 1: addicted to it, like the point off I was getting.
Speaker 1: There was one time where I went to one place
Speaker 1: on the way home, I went to another place. I
Speaker 1: got like three in one day one time, and I
Speaker 1: got so sore that like like from massages that's so
Speaker 1: served because you were getting massages from people who don't
Speaker 1: know what the funk they were doing, which hurts your back. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I couldn't walk the next time. Can you request that
Speaker 1: they skipped the massage? It depends some places. I think
Speaker 1: you could probably do that because they you know, in
Speaker 1: and out like that's why they have fifteen minute sessions
Speaker 1: in some places. And you know what place is dirty?
Speaker 1: If if you can buy a fifteen minute massage session
Speaker 1: or thirty minute that's not a chair massage because I
Speaker 1: do chair massage all the times when that hurts, but
Speaker 1: I don't want to if you if you have to
Speaker 1: get get and get it on the table for fifteen minutes, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're vagina slash dick is getting touched. Do you know
Speaker 1: are there any girls that go to like, Oh, I
Speaker 1: know one girl. She's a pretty popular comedian and she
Speaker 1: she gets goes like twice a week to get fingered.
Speaker 1: I mean for the most part by a woman. No,
Speaker 1: by a man, Okay, awesome, Yeah there's guys. There's guys
Speaker 1: on all these ones. Also, a guy can finger me
Speaker 1: as have sex with him sex with it? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it works both ways. We'll see what that's nice And
Speaker 1: I wonder how much the guys are. I think it's
Speaker 1: free and in a karate kid. You know, he's just
Speaker 1: happy to be there. No, I know. But this girl
Speaker 1: she goes is one place and she's actually did it before.
Speaker 1: One of the people that told me about this rub
Speaker 1: maps dot com and everything like that. I love that
Speaker 1: she does. She's a true hero. Yeah, yeah, she's a
Speaker 1: she's an animal though, and actually had sex with this
Speaker 1: person wants and it was the first time I ever.
Speaker 1: How did like where you're eating a girl out and
Speaker 1: like the click comes out like a dick. I've never
Speaker 1: heard of that. Okay, you've never a clip coming out direct,
Speaker 1: but like my clip will get will get clip and
Speaker 1: it's it's out. How close have you seen it? I
Speaker 1: mean we were packing and that's that. That was that
Speaker 1: was the naked show. I was front row on the floor.
Speaker 1: But when I wasn't aroused during it of those times.
Speaker 1: So when when I get aroused, it'll get it gets
Speaker 1: bigger and harder and like pops out a little bit.
Speaker 1: But I mean not like anything like most people are
Speaker 1: like that gets little harder, a little bigger, just a
Speaker 1: teeny bit bigger me like like the roll on ball on,
Speaker 1: like on, like that perfume that you have. It'll look
Speaker 1: like that, Wait, but mine doesn't do that. But everyone's
Speaker 1: vagina is different, but it mine clip doesn't get hard
Speaker 1: when I'm aroused. What the fun people? Yeah, some people
Speaker 1: don't have it at all. Some people, like she said,
Speaker 1: has a little bit. This was like like I had
Speaker 1: to stop and look at it. How long was it?
Speaker 1: How long was her clip? Dick? I would probably say,
Speaker 1: it's like a It was like a like half a
Speaker 1: thumb almost like it's like a half a ball shape,
Speaker 1: but it was like coming out. It was like a ball,
Speaker 1: but it was definitely coming out. It was definitely not
Speaker 1: there when I start was going on in your head? Well,
Speaker 1: I was like focusing on it because you know, and
Speaker 1: because it was coming towards you. Yeah, But then it
Speaker 1: was a little bit too big. And then I to
Speaker 1: look at it to make sure it wasn't like a
Speaker 1: like an ingrown dick or whatever, an ingrown dick. Bryant like,
Speaker 1: maybe she had You're never going to be a thing
Speaker 1: and never will be a thing. Maybe she had a
Speaker 1: twin brother that dick off and Dr Ben Carson tried
Speaker 1: to separate them, but and then he left the dick.
Speaker 1: We ate it a little bit and it came out,
Speaker 1: I yelled, world Starr. It was it's pretty thick. Now
Speaker 1: did she catch you given her clip dick a weird look?
Speaker 1: No clip schaming but no, I mean but it was
Speaker 1: like everyone's vaginas. These other girls are so different from
Speaker 1: each other, like the most extended laby i've ever seen
Speaker 1: where to the point where it was like stretching out
Speaker 1: maybe maybe eight inches almost like just and I had.
Speaker 1: I thought it was like hanging eight inches, like sucking
Speaker 1: it like it would go out, like yeah, thank you
Speaker 1: for that. No one's ever got it again. I vagina
Speaker 1: is the desert now forever. God. Now that's interesting. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And she was a girl that I used to kind
Speaker 1: of date. And so one time with your photo of this,
Speaker 1: you know, because I wanted to look at it inside
Speaker 1: a polaroid camera, so I took a photo of it.
Speaker 1: You just had a polaroid came just pulling it out
Speaker 1: to see how like a hipster. I have that photos somewhere.
Speaker 1: I need to find it. But it's just because I
Speaker 1: wanted to look at it. The next day, to just
Speaker 1: look at that is fascinating. I've seen a picture there
Speaker 1: was like an artist who did um these sculptures of vaginas,
Speaker 1: but it looked like she actually took molds of vaginas.
Speaker 1: Someone tagged us in it Instagram and there was maybe
Speaker 1: fifteen different ones. There was a lot. They all looked
Speaker 1: so different from each other. Yeah, and then you have
Speaker 1: like a preferred one that you wish you had, you
Speaker 1: have now I have. I love my vagina, but it
Speaker 1: also I feel bad saying like it looks like it's
Speaker 1: the one you see in porn all the time. It's
Speaker 1: like it tucked in. I'll tucked in. Yeah, fresh you
Speaker 1: pig like pussy boner. So you're not very happy with yours. No,
Speaker 1: that's not that's wow way to protect your insecurities about
Speaker 1: your penis vagina? No, well, number one, I don't. I've
Speaker 1: never heard of fucking clip preference because you're the only
Speaker 1: one in the world has ever experienced that clip that
Speaker 1: gets aroused and looks like a dick. Yeah. And I
Speaker 1: also I'm supermedient. It's awesome because it feels really good
Speaker 1: and like, I like my body, so I never thought
Speaker 1: like I never knew that it was any different than
Speaker 1: any one else's. And plus I love being different, so
Speaker 1: I like it a little me a little with the
Speaker 1: lottle me. I used to like the tucked in one.
Speaker 1: I think it's just people like the tucked in one
Speaker 1: because that's what they see important. But also and this
Speaker 1: is weird. It's weird. Is weird? My vagina looks like
Speaker 1: a like a like a thirteen year old like yeah,
Speaker 1: it's looked the same since I was a kid. And
Speaker 1: like sometimes I'm like when when I like I shave
Speaker 1: it or something like throughout my sexual career and guys
Speaker 1: will be like wow, like are you better while but
Speaker 1: vagina is like I mean, does a shape change? Because
Speaker 1: my my vagina has always been like this. It's not
Speaker 1: like one time my no, mine has been the same.
Speaker 1: It's not like it dropped. Wait so when you were
Speaker 1: like seven year old, I know how to beat vagina
Speaker 1: china when it was seven. But I mean ever since
Speaker 1: I was had like pubes and stuff. Yeah, you know
Speaker 1: when I was like twelve thirteen and I stared at
Speaker 1: my vagina when I was a kid. I never should
Speaker 1: take a picture of it like once every month and
Speaker 1: do it like one of those like progress oh like
Speaker 1: yeah every day and like it's like a beard growing,
Speaker 1: but only it's your vagina dropping. And Brian getting disgusted
Speaker 1: and wishing he was with a twenty one year old
Speaker 1: Brazilian who didn't want to be there. No, I nailed it.
Speaker 1: I feel like vagina is like I feel like I
Speaker 1: did it a girl that her vagina changed within our relationship,
Speaker 1: Like how so became more meat three months or no? No,
Speaker 1: like years anything working with you because this one girl
Speaker 1: I did, I did it for nine years and it
Speaker 1: felt like she had a different vagina when I first
Speaker 1: started to when we broke How was her vagina different?
Speaker 1: It seemed like there was more meat to it near
Speaker 1: the end, like like I scooped out some of that
Speaker 1: like the Jewish Deli man on thirty four And second,
Speaker 1: do you scoop that out? I mean I would. I
Speaker 1: would have to say, like in threety years, your vagina
Speaker 1: is not gonna look the same, right, It's gonna be
Speaker 1: like and we're out there. Maybe my my tids are
Speaker 1: sagging now. Yeah, So I don't know. Gravity is the
Speaker 1: thing that exists and affects all of our bodies, but
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know. I mean, there's a difference
Speaker 1: between the group vagina like drooping and it's just being
Speaker 1: the natural shape of your vagina. I mean some people
Speaker 1: just have meteor vagina people. Yeah, I wonder if it
Speaker 1: gets meteor. I would like to see your vagina in
Speaker 1: forty years compared to like now we'll all meet again
Speaker 1: in the in this room ten o four. I could
Speaker 1: say that because I'm not in it now when people
Speaker 1: are listening to it and we'll reconvene. Yeah, okay, I'm down. Well,
Speaker 1: be alive, all right? Do you want to do? You
Speaker 1: think you're gonna die young? Well, that's past, so I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be seventy seven. That's very specific. Yeah. Well, my
Speaker 1: grandfather he smoked all his life. He had a stroke
Speaker 1: in your seventies seven, lasted like I don't know, seven
Speaker 1: years after that. I'm like, that's probably what I'm going
Speaker 1: to be. I would now was he was his mental
Speaker 1: state different after his stroke. He just couldn't walk and
Speaker 1: he was a lot more quiet. But okay and b
Speaker 1: D just paralyzed whatever he cares? Where was he gonna
Speaker 1: go store? Now? Yeah? By and by then, you know,
Speaker 1: they probably have like the AIDS pill be Like my
Speaker 1: grandmaut a stroke when she was like sixty and changed
Speaker 1: her mental She had the mental capacity, but five year
Speaker 1: old and I'm just imagining you like tomorrow getting a
Speaker 1: stroke and then you're like a five year old, but
Speaker 1: you're kind of the same, like everyone's like, that's just trying.
Speaker 1: But then doctors are like no, like you can't do
Speaker 1: math anymore, and like no, it's just Brian. Someone kidnaps
Speaker 1: you and forces you into sex work and the bitch
Speaker 1: who's the prostitute? Now I actually was a prostitute and
Speaker 1: high school. You were not a prostitute in high school.
Speaker 1: This is the dumbest story ever, but hundred and true.
Speaker 1: They used to have They used to have these things
Speaker 1: called time and temperature. I don't know if you guys
Speaker 1: had this where you live, where you would call up
Speaker 1: and be like time is d D by T D Bank.
Speaker 1: Yeah exactly. It was like this long recording you called
Speaker 1: it though it was like yeah, it was a time
Speaker 1: and temperature where it just told you the time and
Speaker 1: the temperature. People called if they needed to know the
Speaker 1: time and the baby before cell phones. Maybe I should
Speaker 1: do that right now. It's called get a clock and
Speaker 1: go outside. Yeah, I know. It was so weird, but
Speaker 1: they had this thing that messed up. So if you
Speaker 1: called what somebody else was calling you could hear them talking.
Speaker 1: There's more than two one person that once another time
Speaker 1: and temperature time. Then that's the only way to get
Speaker 1: like the forecast, like immediate, like what's the forecast, you know,
Speaker 1: for the next So people found this out and so
Speaker 1: then it became like a sex line. But it was
Speaker 1: really quick. It was like really quick because it only
Speaker 1: was at the beginning before the woman started talking. So
Speaker 1: it was like maybe five seconds where you could be
Speaker 1: like him and Brian, I'm from Dublin, Ohio, anyone want
Speaker 1: to talk like and then but there's all these people
Speaker 1: doing at the same time. And so this one girl
Speaker 1: like like she goes, anyone want to fuck me please?
Speaker 1: And and so she gave her number, and you would
Speaker 1: like hang up and call right back, and like, hey,
Speaker 1: where was that you that just wanted to hang up
Speaker 1: and call you back? My number? Eight one eight, you know,
Speaker 1: like like you had to give your phone number like
Speaker 1: in pieces. So there's one girl, I got her number.
Speaker 1: We started talking. She went to a high school about
Speaker 1: twenty minutes away from me. She was in high school
Speaker 1: and you were in high school. Yeah, and she I
Speaker 1: will pay you to have sex with me, And I'm
Speaker 1: like what yes, you don't even have to pay me,
Speaker 1: but yeah, sure I'll do that. So she came over
Speaker 1: to my house. She gives me a check. Now, I
Speaker 1: was like, she gave you a check sophomore in high school? One.
Speaker 1: I was like, she looks she looks a lot older
Speaker 1: than a sophomore in high school, Like she was a
Speaker 1: full grown woman. Uh. And I was in denial, And
Speaker 1: she gave me a check and I was like, how
Speaker 1: do you have a check? Like we're fifteen checking account. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: got to cash this. I had to get the grocery
Speaker 1: store of cashing. And we had sex in my living
Speaker 1: room and then shemmediately goes, oh, well, I gotta go
Speaker 1: How much was the check for? A hundred dollars? And
Speaker 1: I cashed that thing right away, But then I didn't
Speaker 1: think about it until way later in life. I was like,
Speaker 1: wait a second, she was older and she gave me
Speaker 1: money for sex. I pretty much had sex for money
Speaker 1: at Wow, you started your career early, but then it
Speaker 1: ended that day. You know what that probably turned That
Speaker 1: was probably a kink of hers. She probably wanted to
Speaker 1: fuck a young dude to pay for it, to feel
Speaker 1: that that power. Because when you pay a girl to
Speaker 1: do things you sexually. Do you feel a sense of power? No, really, no,
Speaker 1: it's more like or cry on her hands. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was well just set. She probably just paying you at
Speaker 1: a guilt though. She was like, I'm kind of losting
Speaker 1: this kid, so maybe I'll throw them a quick hundred kid.
Speaker 1: But it just makes me wonder, like, you know, how
Speaker 1: teachers have sex their students. There's probably people just like guys,
Speaker 1: you know, getting predator small small girls. You know, you're
Speaker 1: probably order women that you are trying to your own kids.
Speaker 1: There are Because I've heard it. I feel like, because
Speaker 1: it's such a story that you don't forget, you know,
Speaker 1: because it's it's you don't think older women are trying
Speaker 1: to take advantage of young men. And then every time
Speaker 1: I hear on the news it just this happens a lot.
Speaker 1: They absolutely My first boyfriend had a story like that
Speaker 1: and it was kind of like semi traumatic. Forehead. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would imagine that's traumatic because you're like you, yeah,
Speaker 1: don't mind my braces, Like what? Yeah. I would love
Speaker 1: to talk to one of those women and be like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck are they their pedophiles? I guess I
Speaker 1: think when it's a woman doing to a guy, it's
Speaker 1: just sweet, you know, of course it always is. Well, no,
Speaker 1: there's times where the guys was traumatized, but he probably
Speaker 1: doesn't want to say because everyone's expect him to go.
Speaker 1: It's just because, like I mean, I think traditionally, like
Speaker 1: women are just less threatening, but it's not always wanted
Speaker 1: and welcomed. I don't think a guy can get traumatized
Speaker 1: by having unless that old lady from that massage probably
Speaker 1: like held me down. Yeah, but I'm saying, I know,
Speaker 1: my boyfriend I was dated for five years trauma like
Speaker 1: it was a weird way to start out his sexual career.
Speaker 1: It was like I think, I mean, she I'm pretty
Speaker 1: sure that's like how you lost. It was just not
Speaker 1: I mean, I got molested by my babysitter at a
Speaker 1: young age. Casually bring up your female. Yeah, she was female,
Speaker 1: and she like pretty much grinded my head into a crutch.
Speaker 1: And it was the age she was probably seventeen and
Speaker 1: I was probably nine or something. I remember remember saying
Speaker 1: that was awesome though, even at nine. But do you
Speaker 1: think that, I mean, don't you don't you think that
Speaker 1: in some way affected your how you are sexually now
Speaker 1: in present time? Before that, I was putting pencils in
Speaker 1: neighborhood girls of Vaginas and playing doctor with him. So
Speaker 1: I was always I mean, what did you I mean,
Speaker 1: I definitely like played doctor Mine. It's yeah. Mine was
Speaker 1: this kid, Stephen who lived across the street for me
Speaker 1: when I was a little We used to play this
Speaker 1: game called boy Girl, and we would just pretend we
Speaker 1: were adults and we would get on his parents treadmill
Speaker 1: and I would get on the back and we would
Speaker 1: just like touch each other over our clothes, and it
Speaker 1: was like the riskiest I've ever felt my whole life.
Speaker 1: So yeah, we've definitely, like I like number one, like
Speaker 1: playing house always means someone's trying to get some genital suched.
Speaker 1: Like wait, you your fifteen year old babysitter when you
Speaker 1: were not seventeen year old babysitter, which is seventeen and nine.
Speaker 1: She was hot too, Like she was hot so annoying
Speaker 1: that you liked it. No, no, And I remember like
Speaker 1: trying like like turning my head like what happened. She
Speaker 1: would lay on her back and then I would make
Speaker 1: a fourt out of a blanket with her in her
Speaker 1: legs and put my head on her crotch, you know,
Speaker 1: so she you put her your head on cross. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but then she just didn't just started grinding. I remember
Speaker 1: her grinding me. Then I would turn around smell it,
Speaker 1: and then like she'd start grinding, maybe more, and then
Speaker 1: then I'd start touching her boobs under their shirt and
Speaker 1: then she remember her moaning. I remember doing it fast
Speaker 1: at one point, really fast. Now it was when you
Speaker 1: were hard coreless. Yeah, but you know, I loved it.
Speaker 1: And now I'm friends with her on Facebook and she's like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's so weird, but no, she has a whole family
Speaker 1: and kids. I was really, this is true. I was
Speaker 1: really drunk one time and I like wrote something on
Speaker 1: her Facebook page, and the next morning, I like, did
Speaker 1: I do that? Was that dream? That? Like? I like
Speaker 1: the first thing? I woke up like like, I didn't
Speaker 1: do that? Did I like? And I rent to it
Speaker 1: and I was like, I hope you babysit your kids
Speaker 1: as good as your baby said classic Red band. But
Speaker 1: it was worded that everyone else goes oh. He was
Speaker 1: just like it was complimentary. Yeah, and she actually liked it.
Speaker 1: She didn't delete it. I was gonna say, of course
Speaker 1: she deleted it. She came to one of my shows
Speaker 1: the last time I was in Ohio. Okay, molesters love
Speaker 1: coming to shows because I know I also know someone
Speaker 1: else that's a girl, I she is she doing comedy
Speaker 1: now she gone as home and now doing comedy when
Speaker 1: I was molested that she didn't even know how to
Speaker 1: ash shoes. I fuck. You know someone else was molested
Speaker 1: and they're molested tried to come to the show. This
Speaker 1: is which which makes which makes me believe in these
Speaker 1: And it was the same situation. It was a much
Speaker 1: younger person, but the person who was lesting them was
Speaker 1: a teen, which makes me coumbled. They're damage they got
Speaker 1: damaged or also they don't even I don't even know
Speaker 1: if they necessarily compromhenda they did something wrong. Maybe not.
Speaker 1: You know when you when you're nine year old head
Speaker 1: was grinding on that seventeen year old girls, pussy. I'm
Speaker 1: so fascinated by this. So was your was your face? Like?
Speaker 1: Where were your eyes? My eyes? For the most part,
Speaker 1: I was laying on her like with my head back
Speaker 1: of my head, and she was just like using my
Speaker 1: head as like a door handle er. My boyfriend, my
Speaker 1: boyfriend does that to me when we're like watching TV
Speaker 1: on the couch and it feels so good. But I
Speaker 1: think you ruined it for me. I'm just gonna think
Speaker 1: about nine year old Brian. Wait, what is your boyfriend?
Speaker 1: He he puts his head on my crotch and then
Speaker 1: like one day I'm like, oh, that feels really good,
Speaker 1: and he like rubbed it. I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I like that. My little face looking back at you,
Speaker 1: going you're ruining everything for me, just ruined sex for me.
Speaker 1: Do you guys do you squirt? No? I wish you before.
Speaker 1: I have before? Yes, Now did you have multiple times?
Speaker 1: Did you smell it? Yeah? I did, because it would
Speaker 1: stay in the sheets and it smelled like nothing. To
Speaker 1: be honest, why do you give a theory on this?
Speaker 1: Pete pete or something else? Please? I have a weird
Speaker 1: shaped dick. It's it's like a triangle, a weird shaped dick.
Speaker 1: It bends like towards my face, so it's perfect hook
Speaker 1: though no, it's not a hook. It just slowly like
Speaker 1: a slope, like a slow curve. Every dick has a curved,
Speaker 1: I know it, but you usually to the right or
Speaker 1: the left or every dick has a curve. I met
Speaker 1: some very straight dicks, yeah, but like perfect for the
Speaker 1: G spot. Usually, so if a girl's on top of me,
Speaker 1: nine out ten times you just feel gushing, like just
Speaker 1: like it just in my belly button going down in
Speaker 1: my butt crack like it's like like I'm opening it.
Speaker 1: It's so hot. Stop talking, I'm gonna start masterband. God, Brian,
Speaker 1: I think it's maybe it's the hotel room, or maybe
Speaker 1: it's the girl's jiz in your butt hole of them.
Speaker 1: And I've always said, look, squirting is real or gushing,
Speaker 1: I guess it's real. You know, it's not p You know,
Speaker 1: of course the ones in the movie where it's you know,
Speaker 1: projecting out, that's the movie in the movie dot Com. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but the other day or not the other day. Recently yesterday,
Speaker 1: the girl like every time I had to have sex
Speaker 1: with her gushes immediately. And one time I smelled it
Speaker 1: and it smelled just like P like it was just
Speaker 1: like We've had people like medical people email us saying
Speaker 1: it is a hundred it has urine in it as well,
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, and then other medical people of email
Speaker 1: us going there's not. But my thing is, who fucking cares?
Speaker 1: Who cares, but I I care because my mattress has
Speaker 1: a warranty, so I had to buy rubber sheets, you know,
Speaker 1: and I like to protect yourself, protect protect yourself. But
Speaker 1: it's it's sometimes it's like so much like I have
Speaker 1: to like do laundry right after it. Like there's a
Speaker 1: humongous puddle. Yeah. When I got my cast for mattress,
Speaker 1: shout out, we got another girl's jizz on it. It's
Speaker 1: stained at like day one. Really, I just got some
Speaker 1: soda on it, some soda, but she like actually spilled
Speaker 1: diet cocar bed Yeah, it was actually, yeah, it was
Speaker 1: diet like the red red black cherry. So that was worse.
Speaker 1: You know what the worst is when oh no, I
Speaker 1: finished my period three days ago and then you wake
Speaker 1: up and there's just blood everywhere. That happens to you
Speaker 1: a lot, Bryan, Finish, all my sheets look like a
Speaker 1: gun Scotch shot. You know. Do you like girls other
Speaker 1: periods or do you warmer? I don't mind, and usually
Speaker 1: I'm like to come in you all right. Then that's
Speaker 1: a good trade off, you know, trade off. I just
Speaker 1: don't like the badge I've had where they don't tell
Speaker 1: you and you're like eating them out. That's yeah, something
Speaker 1: tastes weird. Maybe they didn't know they had the period,
Speaker 1: because sometimes that happens. True, This is a true story.
Speaker 1: I live next to a star Starbucks. Everyone, that's a
Speaker 1: true story. How did you get that? But every day
Speaker 1: I do the exact same thing. I wake up, I
Speaker 1: don't even look at myself in the mirror. I just
Speaker 1: put on like crappy clothes, like embarrassing clothes, and I
Speaker 1: walked to Starbucks like a zombie. And then one time
Speaker 1: I say that happened where I went down on a girl.
Speaker 1: She didn't tell me. I walked to Starbucks next morning.
Speaker 1: People were like like like that kind of give me
Speaker 1: looks not not really. And then I go home to
Speaker 1: go in the bathroom, go to bathroom, I look at
Speaker 1: myself in the mirror. I look like a fucking clown,
Speaker 1: Like there was a blood. You didn't taste the blood
Speaker 1: when you were eating her out. I drink a lot,
Speaker 1: like sometimes I might even taste a lot that I
Speaker 1: don't even remember it. I yeah, yeah, and did she
Speaker 1: not know she had her period? So that I mean
Speaker 1: that sucks, But yeah, I just it was embarrassing. And
Speaker 1: now I always tried to, like look at myself before
Speaker 1: you get maybe they thought you were cannibal. Did he
Speaker 1: just eat a person's leg? Yeah? I mean I don't
Speaker 1: think anyone looks at you and goes, oh, this is
Speaker 1: a guy who eats a lot of pussy. It was
Speaker 1: a lot of blood like it. And I used to
Speaker 1: have taken selfie just for you know, I should have
Speaker 1: that would have been really should have that would have
Speaker 1: been and then should have been your album cover? Wow, yamn,
Speaker 1: Well that's that's yeah, you can read you can read it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: exactly with you know, makeup artists. No, I was gonna
Speaker 1: say eat a girl. Now I don't care, like yeah,
Speaker 1: I used to be so weird with blood, like like
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to have period sex and like that.
Speaker 1: But it's like, then don't if you're if you're coursed
Speaker 1: off by periods, you shouldn't be having sex. I think
Speaker 1: it's more just I never did it. Yeah, so then
Speaker 1: yeah I didn't know. I didn't. Now I don't give
Speaker 1: a ship. Yeah, I like girls are so much horn
Speaker 1: you're on their period, it's like you should do it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just what do you like in beit um? Because I
Speaker 1: have no idea sometimes like and kind of like I
Speaker 1: assume things based off of a person, like getting to
Speaker 1: know them. But with you, I'm like, you could be
Speaker 1: a maniac jackhammer, you could be essential fucking. I'm definitely sensual,
Speaker 1: a lot of kissing, a lot of a lot of
Speaker 1: going down, more pleasing the girl, please to me. I
Speaker 1: don't like too much like I I've been told I'm
Speaker 1: too quiet like by people. So then I have to
Speaker 1: act like I'm like, oh yeah, you like that, Yeah
Speaker 1: you like it's I feel like you would be rather
Speaker 1: be silent. Yeah I'm I'm I'm more like take care
Speaker 1: of the girl first, I'll come later type ship. I love.
Speaker 1: I dated a lot of girl girl porn stars, so
Speaker 1: like a lot of these girls are like like like
Speaker 1: strictly did girl girl Yeah yeah, so like a lot
Speaker 1: of like girl girl like and one girl a sex
Speaker 1: addiction and like I pretty she pretty much taught me
Speaker 1: everything like I was reaching probably really good at sex,
Speaker 1: yeah exactly. And so she teach you a lot of
Speaker 1: just what I don't know, a lot of eating techniques.
Speaker 1: I guess a wad of like the old finger up
Speaker 1: doing ship like that you're pointing down the whole time.
Speaker 1: But but no, like I do. I take also take
Speaker 1: like those gas station boner pills I joke about, like yeah,
Speaker 1: what the fuck uh? They some of them like really
Speaker 1: make your dick look they got like bit by a
Speaker 1: snake or something like it swells it up like it's
Speaker 1: fun that way, because like you know, sometimes it's just
Speaker 1: ridiculous where you have to like stuff your dick and
Speaker 1: like like a magician's handkerchief, you know, like it's is
Speaker 1: it hard? It doesn't really make it hard, It just
Speaker 1: makes it swoll like it's like like or like like
Speaker 1: like like jacked up. Like some of them have steroids
Speaker 1: in them. Yeah, all right, so the FDA dot gov
Speaker 1: you can go there right now and they've tested over
Speaker 1: five thousand of these boner pills spending their time right yeah,
Speaker 1: and they put all the ingredients in it because they
Speaker 1: don't tell you what the real ingredients is and they're
Speaker 1: like they're not they're not because they're a supplement them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: a lot of them take like Mexican via grabh mixed
Speaker 1: it with acorns and then put steroids in it, and like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I've had them one the ones before where it made
Speaker 1: me feel like I was tripping, like I had to
Speaker 1: go on stage in Phoenix, Arizona stand Up Live, and
Speaker 1: I took one like an hour priory for going on stage,
Speaker 1: and I just saw trails everywhere. I thought I was
Speaker 1: having a heart attack or dying or something like. It
Speaker 1: was awesome, but at the beginning, at the at the beginning,
Speaker 1: I explained the whole thing that even made it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and uh, but no, it's it's weird that it's that
Speaker 1: that ship changes sex. It's because the gas station bill. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because it's redicuous. Sometimes it's redicous, Like my dick is
Speaker 1: already pretty decent, but after that, it's like, do you
Speaker 1: like sex better on gas station boner pills? Yeah, because
Speaker 1: it's it's it's it's intense, like like you just like
Speaker 1: generally like to be under the influence of something. Now
Speaker 1: pretty much, Okay, do you ever get coked dick? I've never.
Speaker 1: My dick works backwards, Like if I drink a lot. Uh,
Speaker 1: I'm like harder than normal and I go like three hours,
Speaker 1: like I can go all night without even coming, and
Speaker 1: I'd be like, you know, that's good enough, I don't
Speaker 1: need to come, and like I'll go to bed. Really, yeah,
Speaker 1: you really don't need to come. I need to come
Speaker 1: because it's just like like, Okay, I still feel good.
Speaker 1: I mean it feels good. I know a lot of
Speaker 1: guys who, yeah, who like don't come. I was dating
Speaker 1: one guy who like he would take He was like
Speaker 1: only did tantruck sacks, and I was like, well, I'm busy,
Speaker 1: I don't have time. Yeah. Yeah, but the only time
Speaker 1: I ever had a problem getting it up was coke.
Speaker 1: And it was only once I did so much coke
Speaker 1: that my dick just was numb, like I couldn't feel
Speaker 1: my body. So I was like, this ain't gonna work,
Speaker 1: you know. But let than that. No, I've never really
Speaker 1: had problems with anyone. Wow, damn. And you have a
Speaker 1: girlfriend right now. I have a girlfriend right now. I
Speaker 1: mean that. Yeah. I mean, Bryan, I just started eating
Speaker 1: or like a month ago. So how did you meet?
Speaker 1: We met on snapchat. That's weird. Yeah, and it's cool
Speaker 1: is that? Yeah? She she actually was like fifteen or
Speaker 1: sixteen and started listening to podcast when she was in
Speaker 1: college or high school. She's not currently fifteen. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: know she's not, but I need to clear yeah she's not.
Speaker 1: But she lists started listening to me at a young age,
Speaker 1: like like when I started doing podcasts. So now she's
Speaker 1: twenty two and she she like I kind of raised
Speaker 1: her without knowing, you know, like she's like knows everything
Speaker 1: about me. She would stop saying it like that, it's
Speaker 1: proud of the thing that you should be like not
Speaker 1: telling we were called last night, and you're like, let's
Speaker 1: get it on the recording so that other people I'm
Speaker 1: gonna hear this re make sure that you think I'm
Speaker 1: discussing more much less chilled than current and Christina and
Speaker 1: are definitely gonna be horrifized. She looks and she looks
Speaker 1: like she's still like fourteen us and it's cute because
Speaker 1: like weird though, man was she like the crust cut
Speaker 1: off for peanut butter and jelly to Brian, Now, look,
Speaker 1: people are uncomfortable about a young woman's sexuality. When I
Speaker 1: was fourteen, I had a sexuality. I had, I masturbated,
Speaker 1: I felt that I felt things right, and then people
Speaker 1: don't want to acknowl Sometimes people are uncomfortable with a
Speaker 1: fourteen year old sexuality. Like we were in that museum
Speaker 1: today and we saw a statue of a girl was
Speaker 1: probably twelve or thirteen and she was naked and she
Speaker 1: had like the developing breasts of a naked twelve year
Speaker 1: old girl, like if you're me, well, it was a
Speaker 1: bronze statue, so unfortunately that detail was left out. But
Speaker 1: she was a young girl, right, and we looked at
Speaker 1: her like, that's a milett that's weird, that's that's weird
Speaker 1: that that's here. And then we saw that a woman
Speaker 1: had sculpted it. But then I'm like like right, But
Speaker 1: then I'm like, no, twelve year old girls. When I
Speaker 1: was a twelve year old girl, I had a sexuality,
Speaker 1: and you can't deny that her pretender doesn't exist. But
Speaker 1: at the same time, when you're like it's like she's fourteen, awesome,
Speaker 1: it's creepy because it's like one year old and shouldn't
Speaker 1: be involved with sexually. But in your own it's good
Speaker 1: to come into it. I mean, like, the Diary of
Speaker 1: Anne Frank is filled with sexual and when I was callow,
Speaker 1: they chopped a lot of parts out that were too
Speaker 1: like risk. When I was young reading it, I felt
Speaker 1: comfort because I was like, what twelve maybe maybe when
Speaker 1: I read it and I was like, oh, she masturbated
Speaker 1: when you're in an attic there's not a lot to do.
Speaker 1: What else do you do? You're gonna build a fort? No,
Speaker 1: You're you're in an attic. So that's it's fun to me.
Speaker 1: It's more it's funny, like like I like to troll
Speaker 1: people because it looks it looks so ridiculous. She looks
Speaker 1: like a little kid. It looks like a success. It
Speaker 1: looks like a successful kidnap photo. She does not look
Speaker 1: like she does. And she's twenty so she's twenty two.
Speaker 1: She's twenty two. So it's just fun to funk with people,
Speaker 1: like right like you're doing with a lot of people
Speaker 1: right now are getting boiling mad as they're listening to that.
Speaker 1: It's funny. We think it's funny. Like we joke about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, we say we met on Club Penguin,
Speaker 1: which is a video game for kids. That was very fun.
Speaker 1: I mean with Steven Stevens how nine years older than
Speaker 1: me something like that. And then and then I'll say
Speaker 1: things like when I was one, you were eleven, or
Speaker 1: like when you graduated college, I was in I was
Speaker 1: in elementary school, and be like, but I thought that
Speaker 1: was it was hilarious. When I graduated high school, she
Speaker 1: was sperm like, yeah, I mean I used to call
Speaker 1: my first boyfriend dad, I mean not in bed, just
Speaker 1: in like the supermarket, daddy, Daddy, Daddy, can I get
Speaker 1: animal crackers? Daddy is weird? Man. You never had a
Speaker 1: girl call you daddy, and your daddy and dad are
Speaker 1: very so if she actually too, if your current girlfriend
Speaker 1: right now took that to the bedroom while you're having sex,
Speaker 1: you get freaked out. Yeah, alright, you're not because you're white,
Speaker 1: not Asian. Yeah. There was this Armenian woman that I
Speaker 1: had sex with. Yeah, and and I guess like that's
Speaker 1: like if her dad found out, he would have shot
Speaker 1: me dad immediately, Like that's how bad bad it is.
Speaker 1: So she would sneak out and would have sex and
Speaker 1: then she would go back home. You risked your life
Speaker 1: to have sex in here. But I only had sex
Speaker 1: with like three times because she was so much daddy
Speaker 1: that it felt real. She said daddy in bed. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: she was like oh Daddy, Like it was so like
Speaker 1: so real and so like not hot, real like like
Speaker 1: something your daddy tells you. Yeah, totally it was. Did
Speaker 1: you ever tell her either, hey, maybe let's use some
Speaker 1: other words or like call my say my name or
Speaker 1: were you like that's weird. No, I didn't want to
Speaker 1: bring it up. I mean it was some girls like
Speaker 1: you don't want to go there unless you're dating them
Speaker 1: or something. He's like, back to the Yeah, I just
Speaker 1: go back and get a handy and labra and do
Speaker 1: those intersects. We don't know. Yeah, when I got to Lebrea,
Speaker 1: I was like, you don't know another street in California, Christina,
Speaker 1: you fu, you gotta think of something on your toes.
Speaker 1: I was like, fifth, now you met your all front
Speaker 1: of and how fast from meeting her on snapchat for
Speaker 1: one year old? Fuck into moving in? How long? How
Speaker 1: many days to days you're out of your out of
Speaker 1: your did you get beautiful? I've seen pictures of her
Speaker 1: beautiful twenty two year old. I raised her through podcast
Speaker 1: awful stop it you stop her right now? Really? How
Speaker 1: did you? What the fun? Honestly, it was one of
Speaker 1: those weird magic ones where I've only had happened maybe
Speaker 1: once before, happened to you more than once. Yeah, where
Speaker 1: you meet them and immediately their your their energy and
Speaker 1: your energy just everything matches up a d percent that
Speaker 1: you're like, well, we're gonna go to Vegas right now. First,
Speaker 1: agreg the first time it happened to you, did it
Speaker 1: blow up in flames at the end, because usually when
Speaker 1: relationships are that passionate at the beginning, they don't they
Speaker 1: she cheated on me ended up. I get cheated on
Speaker 1: every relationship. Almost every single relationship I get it ends
Speaker 1: with me. Getting cheated on in high school is pretty fun.
Speaker 1: It's funny because like the gift back, I'm thinking of
Speaker 1: the gift bag, Kathy Griffin's like trash gift back, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's my whole life now. But no, I think there's
Speaker 1: one girl that didn't cheat on me, and you have
Speaker 1: no respect for her. She was she was my fiance
Speaker 1: and really yeah, and that ended bad. So wait, do
Speaker 1: you want to get married? Well, I'm pretty scarred from this.
Speaker 1: It's almost too late. But just see no, I mean
Speaker 1: like I was, like I said, I dated this girl
Speaker 1: for nine years and she moved out to California with me.
Speaker 1: She pretty much gave me an ultimatum, like, look, we've
Speaker 1: been dating so long, you have six months to say
Speaker 1: to ask me to marry you, or we need to
Speaker 1: end this because I've already wasted so much of my life.
Speaker 1: I hope she phrases just like that exactly how she
Speaker 1: phrased And then he got on one name rabbed a
Speaker 1: ring from like underneath this dresser and was like this
Speaker 1: is convenient time worse like we were having sex from
Speaker 1: once a month. At this point, Brian Redband proposed to
Speaker 1: his nine year in girlfriends once someone embarrassing story ever
Speaker 1: you got, girls are gonna love this. So first I
Speaker 1: had to research all the diamonds, learned about Clarity Princess cut,
Speaker 1: all the different shapes. I really thought, you say you
Speaker 1: learned about Claire. I was like, which one do you think, Lisa?
Speaker 1: So then I had to save up money because I
Speaker 1: had only six months to save up money, I ad
Speaker 1: just move to l A. This was like I had
Speaker 1: no money, had to borrow money from my mom. I
Speaker 1: had to save up myself. Thing's gonna leave me Like
Speaker 1: I had such a weird concept. But then I was like,
Speaker 1: this is not fair. I have a time limit. She
Speaker 1: also knows I'm going to do this, Like she has
Speaker 1: to know that in the next six months I'm do this.
Speaker 1: Did you feel it in your heart? Though? Like, no,
Speaker 1: not this. When she did that, it made me more
Speaker 1: like challenge, Yeah, well I didn't want to lose her.
Speaker 1: So it's like I have to do what I have
Speaker 1: to do because I don't want her to leave me
Speaker 1: or anything. So I was like, but the this comes
Speaker 1: into the dumb part, all right. So so I knew
Speaker 1: she knew it was going to happen, so I wanted
Speaker 1: to surprise her. Now, I didn't want to do a
Speaker 1: surprise I put in a cake or anything, because if
Speaker 1: she's like, oh, here it comes, it's in the show,
Speaker 1: right in nine years that you had made a cake
Speaker 1: exactly and the last well, I just didn't want to
Speaker 1: do anything like that because then she's gonna know it's coming.
Speaker 1: So I wanted to make it something every day that
Speaker 1: we would do that, like she would never think I
Speaker 1: would do it here. So before in the p F
Speaker 1: changs and before we got out of the car, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I reached into my pocket and go, hey, you want
Speaker 1: some gum? And she goes, we're about to eat. Why
Speaker 1: would I want um? No, I don't want gum. No, no,
Speaker 1: you want some gum and I don't want gumb get
Speaker 1: out of here. So then I put I'm like, yeah
Speaker 1: you do, come on, have some gum. And I pull
Speaker 1: up this ring, and I asked her to marry in
Speaker 1: the parking lot of a PF changs, oh, I am
Speaker 1: you did. It was self sabotage. You want to go,
Speaker 1: I'm surely. She goes, are you serious really? And she
Speaker 1: goes yes. She only said yes because she felt bad
Speaker 1: maybe the ultimatum and you did your homework, and I
Speaker 1: mean the worst part was that there was an hour
Speaker 1: wait and there was no place for her to sit
Speaker 1: and she just sitting there crying because she was so
Speaker 1: shocked and I don't know, crying. She just got proposed
Speaker 1: to yeah, but thought she was getting gum, yeah, when
Speaker 1: she didn't want gum exactly. Only proposal that ends in
Speaker 1: sad tears and I'm happy now when you thought of
Speaker 1: this proposal where you like, wow, am I going to
Speaker 1: do this? Is like did you in your head when
Speaker 1: you because I know you want to do something mundane
Speaker 1: that she doesn't. She would never guess. This guy writer
Speaker 1: was booked, so he was like, I'm gonna go with
Speaker 1: the gum proposal. Yeah. It was more like when I
Speaker 1: got the ring, I was so excited because I actually
Speaker 1: ordered online like you ordered. Yeah. It was because like
Speaker 1: a long story short, there was this this place that
Speaker 1: I found that you called overstock dot Com on claim
Speaker 1: free cash for goal. It was Jenny Cars for Kids,
Speaker 1: seven Cars for Kids. There was like a diamond broker
Speaker 1: or something like that in New York where they like
Speaker 1: it says he's in New York. Yeah, but it I
Speaker 1: mean I got it tested out Like the day I
Speaker 1: got it in the mail, I went to a jeweler
Speaker 1: a bit on it, and then you broke your tooth.
Speaker 1: I have so much sympathy for you, and I'm discussed
Speaker 1: about you. Such a different person when I when I
Speaker 1: moved from Ohio, I was such a different person I
Speaker 1: am now Like night and day, I was innocent. I
Speaker 1: was like gullible, like I like when I worked for
Speaker 1: Joe Rogan. You do. But but like he would talk
Speaker 1: about like masturbating out like in public, and I'll be like,
Speaker 1: why are you talking about masturbated? You to talk about message,
Speaker 1: I can talk about it in public. He wouldn't talk
Speaker 1: about like it doesn't trick me as I kind of
Speaker 1: got it anymore. Hides and bushes No. But like I
Speaker 1: was like everything I was just I was from Ohio,
Speaker 1: Like I was like bub you know, like you don't
Speaker 1: get challenged when you're my boyfriend's from Ohio and he's
Speaker 1: very smart. Yeah, well Brian missed out on those smart points.
Speaker 1: They were hand them out the babies at the hospital
Speaker 1: and they were like none for you, Brian rudback. But yeah,
Speaker 1: but then then you okay, well I'm glad that didn't
Speaker 1: work out. Yeah, the engagement were you Did you cry
Speaker 1: when she dumped you? Probably cred It destroyed me. It
Speaker 1: like literally like it broke me to the point where
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm I say, I was the fuck
Speaker 1: you spite? Yeah, like I'm going to lose weight like
Speaker 1: I I immediately it was like I'm very show her,
Speaker 1: you know, I might change my life around. I lost
Speaker 1: sixty five pounds and three months off weight Watchers and
Speaker 1: just cut the points in half. I was only would
Speaker 1: I would take you're the only guy at the meetings.
Speaker 1: Yeah no, No. The girls hated me at the meetings
Speaker 1: because I was losing so much weight. They got mad,
Speaker 1: I was gonna ribbon every week. I got Oh, I
Speaker 1: gotta key change, I gotta key fun way we all
Speaker 1: sign up? What else do you get? Not? Chocolate Watchers
Speaker 1: is pretty cool because it's it's like a game. It
Speaker 1: turns eating into a game, like you collect points. Wait, watchers,
Speaker 1: Eating is a game. Yeah, it's like a game. And
Speaker 1: then you get like the key change. You get presents
Speaker 1: if you get past certain things. And even though the
Speaker 1: presence no one really wants, you're still excited about it. Huh.
Speaker 1: It was. It was fun and I was blowing everybody
Speaker 1: in my class out of the water. All these old
Speaker 1: ladies was blowing everybody. And but and they hated me that.
Speaker 1: You could tell that they were just like this is
Speaker 1: not fair, like they like they like lost two pounds,
Speaker 1: I lost men get tweet like one thing and like
Speaker 1: drop twenty pounds. So annoying. But did you tell the
Speaker 1: other women that you were cutting points in half? Oh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: because it's also like a share secrets. You share stories
Speaker 1: with all the people. And what is the story from
Speaker 1: White Rogers? Do you have any of that? Hope it
Speaker 1: involves eating cake out of the garben? No, there was
Speaker 1: there was a lot of like like sadness in the
Speaker 1: in those meetings. I was more like, hey, you know,
Speaker 1: turkey bacon is good and they have it that. You know,
Speaker 1: ladies cheer the funk up and just get the loaf
Speaker 1: of option. What I would do though, Like this is
Speaker 1: how how my mind was. I would get a huge
Speaker 1: bowl throw like lettuce, like every vegetable, and it chop
Speaker 1: it up and I would just eat for days, just
Speaker 1: like burritos that were just like vegetables, like you would
Speaker 1: just scoop out let us in and put it in
Speaker 1: a tortilla. Yeah, like like a single point tortillas. So
Speaker 1: I was having a single point and I had like
Speaker 1: twenty eight points and I would like spend like five
Speaker 1: points just on five tortillas from eating these huge like
Speaker 1: like lettuce lettuce burritos beaten the system, right, bites a
Speaker 1: powerful things. But well, it's not why this podcast exists,
Speaker 1: but it happened. The idea had stemmed from a result
Speaker 1: of being broken up with they dumped. Yeah, so I'm
Speaker 1: very sad kind of the same thing. I mean, I
Speaker 1: didn't lose sixty pounds. I was lost like twenty pounds
Speaker 1: in like very short amount of really short like but
Speaker 1: I'm like, what did you do? You cried at like
Speaker 1: you you did lose weight, but it's like almost the
Speaker 1: sadness made you lose weight. Well you know it was
Speaker 1: because I was so sad that like my stomach felt sad,
Speaker 1: and so I didn't feel hunger, and like I had
Speaker 1: a crazy anxiety, like my my whole body was like
Speaker 1: shaking for like months. So like I and I couldn't
Speaker 1: physically like get it together to eat enough. So a
Speaker 1: lot of times, like in the morning, my eye was
Speaker 1: a little bit like more mentally stable, so I would
Speaker 1: eat like breakfast, and then I couldn't eat for mest
Speaker 1: a day. So I was in taking probably like six
Speaker 1: calories a day. I damn, you know. And this went
Speaker 1: on for a long time, and I just couldn't eat.
Speaker 1: I just couldn't. I mean, my tone turned. I was dying. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I had to go to acupuncture because I was like
Speaker 1: I need help, like something, I'm going I'm this is
Speaker 1: not My hand started falling out. Didn't have a desire
Speaker 1: to because you're depressed. Yeah, I just couldn't. I and
Speaker 1: I tried to eat. I would get food because I'm
Speaker 1: like I I realized that I need to eat. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I just couldn't do it. Fuck. Yeah, sorry sorry
Speaker 1: you went through that. But I'm also not sorry because
Speaker 1: this podcast exists and we went We've been traveling all
Speaker 1: over It's really fun. This hotel is really nice. I mean,
Speaker 1: if any tongues are great, I think it's I think
Speaker 1: it's something it was good to go through now. But
Speaker 1: at the time, I was like, I can't, I can't.
Speaker 1: I don't. I honestly don't know how more people don't
Speaker 1: kill themselves. That was the thought, because I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm a very strong person. I was like, and this
Speaker 1: is not my breaking point. Yeah, I've had a lot
Speaker 1: of those breaking point, like I had. Some of the
Speaker 1: worst are the triggered by breakups. Yeah, worst breakup stories.
Speaker 1: I mean, just what was the worst one? Real quick?
Speaker 1: There's a few, but like they're all so bad that
Speaker 1: you can't even fit one. No, there's a lot, I
Speaker 1: mean a lot, Like, and they're all ridiculous. I date,
Speaker 1: I'm attracted to the crazies, I guess for sure. Like
Speaker 1: the last one. There was one that had recently where
Speaker 1: if I didn't take out my phone and do the
Speaker 1: voice app on it to record everything that happened, I'd
Speaker 1: probably go to jail, Like because I had to call
Speaker 1: the cops on this person. She did throw herself down
Speaker 1: a flight stairs and I caught her, and you know, like,
Speaker 1: was she going to blame it on you? Yeah? She
Speaker 1: did blame it on me and the phone and go, officer,
Speaker 1: here's the whole fight, you know on they listened the
Speaker 1: whole thing. They go, do you want us to press charges?
Speaker 1: Should we arrest her? And like no, you know, think wow,
Speaker 1: I mean she I mean she had mental issue. She
Speaker 1: was going through depression because I was breaking up with
Speaker 1: her and like so, but then it was right before
Speaker 1: Christmas and she's like, can you just wait till after Christmas?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, how about this, this is gonna be
Speaker 1: the worst Christmas. Ever, how about I go, we go
Speaker 1: to counseling together, we try to fix this. But you know,
Speaker 1: because but you're so you're so suicide right now. You
Speaker 1: told me you want to, you know, kill yourself. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to stick with you for three months
Speaker 1: and not deal with this broken problem. So actually went
Speaker 1: to counseling. The counselors like, look, you guys, are you know,
Speaker 1: horrible together? You guys need to be a part. Well
Speaker 1: that's good, that's good. They're like definitely not, yeah, definitely not.
Speaker 1: And then you know, he was right, you know, no,
Speaker 1: she was like pretty much after a while, she was like, look,
Speaker 1: you guys, are she has really bad, uh, jealousy, and
Speaker 1: she's like she didn't trust, no zero trust from day one,
Speaker 1: you know, like like that's always a red flag when
Speaker 1: you Yeah, day one you don't have trust. Uh. And
Speaker 1: you were like, I'll be in a relationship with you,
Speaker 1: and now like I try to, you know, be cool
Speaker 1: with her and everything like that. But now she acts
Speaker 1: like it's never happened. She's like, do you know that
Speaker 1: didn't happen. I'm like, you know, you have the audio.
Speaker 1: I said it too. She accused you of doing something horrible. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and she doesn't remember any of it, she says, And
Speaker 1: I mean maybe, Yeah, I was on the phone with
Speaker 1: nine one one while she's punching me in the face
Speaker 1: because I'm holding her now from not from just trying
Speaker 1: to like throw herself downstairs, Like no, how was your
Speaker 1: dick during this? Yeah? No, I mean that sucked me up.
Speaker 1: That two fifteen, for the most part, was probably spent
Speaker 1: mostly in bed. Mostly. I started eating in bed. It
Speaker 1: was like that, like I was ordering food to my bed.
Speaker 1: I would eat in my bed, fall asleep, wake up, master, bate,
Speaker 1: do the same thing over again, over and never leaving
Speaker 1: my bed. Yeah, that's not going to put a smile.
Speaker 1: It was horrible, but you got out of it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I got out of it. So you were just you
Speaker 1: were telling us earlier and I didn't want to hear
Speaker 1: until we were all the mikes about how you You
Speaker 1: have a crazy story about how you heard of our podcast. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the first time I ever heard about your podcast. Uh,
Speaker 1: it was from a girl and she asked me if
Speaker 1: I had heard it before and I was like, I've
Speaker 1: never heard it so many girls as a pickup one
Speaker 1: for I'm at She was because she told me, you know,
Speaker 1: the reason why how I know you is, Uh, let's
Speaker 1: rewind a little bit. So she contacted me on Twitter
Speaker 1: and stuff like that. She's like, hey, I remember being
Speaker 1: l a love to meet you because she listen to
Speaker 1: your podcast and she's like, I know about you through podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm like cool. So we met, uh and uh we
Speaker 1: had some drinks and she's telling me like, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: my boyfriend is a huge fan of your Guys podcast
Speaker 1: and you talk about that rub map website and caught
Speaker 1: my husband uh using in the rub map website and
Speaker 1: uh he had all these charges and confronted him. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: he was going to the sauce parties and fucking these
Speaker 1: girls and and and I was like, what, like, was
Speaker 1: it her husband, her boyfriend? You said boyfriend and said
Speaker 1: I think it was I think it was husband, but
Speaker 1: either way, not someone who should be sucking on. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure was husband. And so then um, she
Speaker 1: she goes, actually I didn't even who you were. But
Speaker 1: then I had to listen to all these podcasts because
Speaker 1: that's where he got it from. And so and I
Speaker 1: just wanted to say, you know, while I'm angry about it,
Speaker 1: I can't blame you, like, and I'm like, are you
Speaker 1: gonna like I'm thinking, like she's gonna kill me or
Speaker 1: something your fault like or that. She's like, look, he's
Speaker 1: a big fan of yours though, and oh god, that's weird. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then and then word at this restaurant having Margarita's,
Speaker 1: and she just took a photo AND's like she's like,
Speaker 1: I'm going to send him all these messages like texts
Speaker 1: of like me hanging out and so that she like
Speaker 1: she wanted to make him jealous. Yeah, and it was like, wait,
Speaker 1: is that red band? Whoa what do you do? So
Speaker 1: he would she through the whole night constantly pull out
Speaker 1: the phone. Did she not tell her boyfriend her husband
Speaker 1: that she knew he was getting robbing tugs yet, No,
Speaker 1: that she just did next day took a plane l
Speaker 1: A meet you to me, so she I didn't know.
Speaker 1: This whole trip was just out. She found out that
Speaker 1: her husband or boyfriend was getting a rubbing rubbing tugs yea,
Speaker 1: because he listened to it on your podcast. So she
Speaker 1: flew from wherever she was the next day to see
Speaker 1: you in l A and takes you off from starts
Speaker 1: sending j photos throughout the whole night of just our
Speaker 1: whole night together, like there's where we're drunk, we're doing
Speaker 1: shot and see you didn't mind being a pawn in this. Well, well,
Speaker 1: it's kind of funny. And I can't remember how I
Speaker 1: think she told me the part about this is it.
Speaker 1: She told me the part about him cheating on me
Speaker 1: at the end of it. So she told me that
Speaker 1: because she's a smart woman. Yeah, I think she said
Speaker 1: my ex husband she was. He was a big fan
Speaker 1: of yours and stuff like that. Then at the end
Speaker 1: of all this, she told me the whole story, that's what.
Speaker 1: But we go she had a hotel room, so we
Speaker 1: go back to a hotel room and next thing, you know,
Speaker 1: we're just fucking and uh, she took photos of us
Speaker 1: having sex and send it to him, and I didn't
Speaker 1: even realize what she was doing. Like I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, she's take a photo. She's like she's off
Speaker 1: the time for herself, and she's like she's like your
Speaker 1: mind and like she's just like and it didn't. After
Speaker 1: I was done, she told me the whole story, and
Speaker 1: like the whole revenge plot line of it all then
Speaker 1: came together. Now was like why are you sending all
Speaker 1: your these photos? Wait? That part But the burn though,
Speaker 1: that's an evil burn of like, oh, you found out
Speaker 1: about these rubbin tongues from this guy and then you
Speaker 1: got them, so I'm gonna fuck this guy and send
Speaker 1: you a photo so that the whole time, and her
Speaker 1: husband was sucking the robin people to right, so like yeah,
Speaker 1: and it started off so innocent the whole that's a fit.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, And he contacted me. He was all funked
Speaker 1: up on Twitter because I talked about this on like
Speaker 1: Joe Rogan podcast or something, because why what are you
Speaker 1: that fucking crazy? And I thought a few more times
Speaker 1: after that because he's so mean things about me Twitter,
Speaker 1: So I'm like, yo, I'm gonna fox you fuck your
Speaker 1: ex girl. But yeah, it was such a weird revenge.
Speaker 1: What is that to us? Because it's when when she
Speaker 1: found when she was talking about the podcast, she's just like, oh,
Speaker 1: I listened to guys podcast and that's she's brought it up.
Speaker 1: And I nowhere at the beginning when we were talking
Speaker 1: about podcasts good and then what do you say, I've
Speaker 1: never heard of this podcast before. She's like, they're like
Speaker 1: pretty popular and then I go, oh, yeah, they're number
Speaker 1: three on the charts right now. But yeah, it was,
Speaker 1: but it was so weird. The whole thing was that
Speaker 1: is weird, fucked up. I couldn't even imagine being this
Speaker 1: guy that. Yeah, that makes me happy that like she
Speaker 1: got hers, Yeah she got hers. Yeah. So thank you
Speaker 1: for for coming on and chatting with us. Thank you,
Speaker 1: thanks for coming up to floors where So speaking of podcasts,
Speaker 1: like where can we where can everybody listen to you
Speaker 1: and follow you online? And shows coming up? What do
Speaker 1: you want to promote? I do a lot of podcasts
Speaker 1: Death Squad. It's like a network I created and there's
Speaker 1: a lot of podcasts on there. It's called death squad
Speaker 1: on iTunes or whatever. I just started my own podcast
Speaker 1: firing because I've done all these other people's podcasts, Like,
Speaker 1: you're like pretty good at this. Yeah. Well I just
Speaker 1: after two fifteen, after that story I talked about, you know,
Speaker 1: the throwing, I was like, I gotta do something positive
Speaker 1: because I have to get out of bed. And so
Speaker 1: I started a new podcasts and it's called What Brian
Speaker 1: Red Band Do, and it's just you know he did. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So it's like these stories, but longer versions of them.
Speaker 1: You have so many stories. It's weird ship happens to
Speaker 1: me all the time for some reason like that. I
Speaker 1: I'm not as intense as you, but weird ship happens
Speaker 1: to me all that like stuff. I'm like, there's no
Speaker 1: wise it's all happening to me, but it's kind of fun.
Speaker 1: The day I flew to Nashville, two different birds attacked me,
Speaker 1: two separate locations. But why does that happen? Like what
Speaker 1: kind of bird? Pigeon? One was like a dove or
Speaker 1: something like it just came up and just start flapping
Speaker 1: right in my face. Brian would get attacked by a
Speaker 1: dove like it's it's flapping in my face like that
Speaker 1: ain't a metaphor for your life, bro, Like it's like
Speaker 1: a magician's dub that got lost, just flying around. We're like, oh,
Speaker 1: look a whites up. Why is it bunching in the fight?
Speaker 1: It was it probably actually was like an escaped magicians
Speaker 1: look just like right, and he was trying to get
Speaker 1: into my collar or something that felt sadness and he
Speaker 1: was like that smells like magician's sadness. And they're like, nope,
Speaker 1: that's just Brian Red. Yeah, and then three hours later
Speaker 1: he just got out a bit. Three hours later, I
Speaker 1: was in Pasadena completely like twenty miles away, and I'm
Speaker 1: getting out of my car and there a little like
Speaker 1: baby like sparrow bird like dramatically like like runs against
Speaker 1: my car, like hits my car and then comes right
Speaker 1: at me and it's like flopping around my face. I'm like,
Speaker 1: you atract crazy? Yeah, but it's kind of fun, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it makes it interesting. What's your Twitter? It's red
Speaker 1: band R E D B A N. And is that
Speaker 1: your Instagram too? Yeah, it's mine pretty much everything. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll cross the board. Yeah cool, thank you. So your
Speaker 1: I you have such a special place in my heart.
Speaker 1: You're a very unique person, because I was sound crenul
Speaker 1: early like you know. Sometimes sometimes it's a mixture between
Speaker 1: all and right, you know. Yeah, I heard a lot
Speaker 1: about you, and then we ran into you here and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, no, I'm not to spend the
Speaker 1: weekend with this guy because they're friends. But then you
Speaker 1: turned out to be really cool. Throw it out. I
Speaker 1: grew up with women all the same. Oh that's too,
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. This has been guys, we sucked
Speaker 1: the anti slut chaing podcast. We'll talk to you next Friday.
Speaker 1: Were Yeah, such a thing. Feeling to read the same?
Speaker 1: Dare me sae get out? Keeping to re consiness, pool
Speaker 1: Spread said, I'll play something. It shall be gettla trying
Speaker 1: to buy something. Can't win where I detail? Can't you have?
Speaker 1: PSA is my own w