Speaker 1: Patient misconnections that there's only two places in this world
Speaker 1: where you can find true love. One is at a
Speaker 1: medieval swingers party during the couple's jousting event jousting knock
Speaker 1: right off the horse again. The other is on the
Speaker 1: pages of craigslist dot org. We scour that website every
Speaker 1: week to find the best misconnections they have to offer.
Speaker 1: This first one is titled I'm a Sucker for a
Speaker 1: guy with a racing stripe woman for Man twenty five
Speaker 1: Mall parking lot. She says, It's not every day that
Speaker 1: you see a sexy guy rocking a pair of aviators
Speaker 1: with an old school mullet. But there you were, Mama, like, oh,
Speaker 1: you were seductively revving the engine of a souped up
Speaker 1: Nissan Leaf. I think it's all electrical. She says. I
Speaker 1: was the blonde with the extra large frosted hooped nose ring,
Speaker 1: smiling from ear to ear, just a giant nose ring
Speaker 1: dangling off of your You must have seen me, because
Speaker 1: when I walked by the front of your Roaring beastmobile,
Speaker 1: you hit your horn, which shocked me, probably because it
Speaker 1: played the Mexican hat dance song. She writes in parentheses
Speaker 1: fun she being sarcastic about the revenue engine the zero mission. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you it's not a normal rev either,
Speaker 1: because it's a leave. It's like at one point I
Speaker 1: was about to turn around and give you my number,
Speaker 1: but then you peeled out of the parking lot, just
Speaker 1: like Vin Diesel would if he were late for a
Speaker 1: kid's birthday party. It was so hot. If you see this,
Speaker 1: get back to me. I'm always up for a ride
Speaker 1: with a badass. Signed Tanya Parentheses d Cup. Okay, I'll
Speaker 1: give you a girl, but I got like forty five
Speaker 1: minutes to charge this man. This next misconnection is titled
Speaker 1: just doing my job man man for woman twenty five
Speaker 1: Wendy's near the bus depot, the frost over any day
Speaker 1: of the work. Yeah, let's go it is. It says
Speaker 1: you clogged the Wendy's toilet last My boss summoned me
Speaker 1: to help you out, and that's when I went into
Speaker 1: the west room and was pleasantly surprised to find you.
Speaker 1: When you have to help someone that's a bad problem.
Speaker 1: You were the larger, dark haired girl with caterpillar lips
Speaker 1: and a frosty milkshake stain. On your shirt, Fuzzy. Oh,
Speaker 1: it wasn't planned, but suddenly I became your Knight in
Speaker 1: Shining Armor caterpillar. Actually, I'm just a drive through guy
Speaker 1: who showed up with an extra strength plunger. After five
Speaker 1: minutes of different angle pumps and you cheering me on,
Speaker 1: something incredible happened. As I was standing on the tank,
Speaker 1: pumping from my life. Jesus, the toilet finally gave up,
Speaker 1: making a horrifying guttural noise that's colored water spewed. I
Speaker 1: was victorious. Afterwards, I lay down on the tile, gasping,
Speaker 1: for I was sweating more than a baconator under a
Speaker 1: heat lamp. You thanked me after I plunged out one
Speaker 1: of the most difficult clogs of my career. After you left,
Speaker 1: I saved a piece of the toilet paper to remember
Speaker 1: the occasion. I've carried it around with me in my
Speaker 1: wallet ever since. Hopefully when you come in again, we
Speaker 1: can share Frosty on me. Yeah, I don't want him,
Speaker 1: and maybe this time I can make a different stain
Speaker 1: on your shirt that. Oh no, it's gonna be ketchup stain.
Speaker 1: They're gonna SKay, shut up, Jeff, that's so disturbing. Sincerely,
Speaker 1: Harrison the Great. This next misconnection is titled never done
Speaker 1: a redhead before Man for Woman thirty one Downtown office Building. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's blunt, little, a little honest, though it's good. He says.
Speaker 1: You're the cute ginger receptionist with the skirt that makes
Speaker 1: your backside look like a cursive cube. She has a
Speaker 1: tail it though, He goes on, I'm the sharp dress
Speaker 1: stud you met in the elevator, you know, the one
Speaker 1: with the long sideburns and sturdy V shaped chin. Who
Speaker 1: specific I work on floor eight? Yeah, Flori eight in
Speaker 1: the house? Am I right? Nob? He actually wrote floor
Speaker 1: eight in the house. Anyway, you probably know me as
Speaker 1: the badass sales dude that spends most of his time
Speaker 1: cashing checks and snapping necks. It's a tough job, but
Speaker 1: I rock it on a daily basis, if I do
Speaker 1: say so myself. Anyway, after I caught you staring at
Speaker 1: my zipper, I peeped your name in the company directory,
Speaker 1: then did some digging and found you on the Graham
Speaker 1: you know, Instagram. You didn't have to specify that one.
Speaker 1: He just found out that the Graham is called the Graham.
Speaker 1: It's like, why isn't he just dming or why is
Speaker 1: he writing on Craigslist? That's true, that's not how badass
Speaker 1: sales dudes roll over. He probably didn't know, he says,
Speaker 1: looks like you're recently single. Sorry you got dump sweet pants.
Speaker 1: But you know what T Bird always says. When one
Speaker 1: door closes, another opens. Bird also works out Florida. Speaking
Speaker 1: of opening doors, what do you say? I opened my
Speaker 1: passenger door for you to get inside my brand new
Speaker 1: cobalt blue Chevy Camaro Cobalt. I'll make sure we leave
Speaker 1: the parking garage, but only if you let me. I
Speaker 1: just don't want our coworkers to hear you screaming te
Speaker 1: Bird's name too loudly called prende Senorita. I want parking
Speaker 1: lot of work. That's signed T bird stands for tim
Speaker 1: is what it says, stands for Timothy. That's your Craigslist
Speaker 1: miss connections. We got your phone tap coming up right
Speaker 1: after this