Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that thumb rustles exclusively with proctologists
Speaker 1: because he likes the challenge. Okay, it's Laser Stories, a
Speaker 1: segment where we read weird news stories from around the globe,
Speaker 1: just like everyone else does, except we have a laser
Speaker 1: and those other frog burghers just don't. His first Laser
Speaker 1: Stories out of West Sussex, England. We all remember when
Speaker 1: McDonald's made the amazing decision to start offering breakfast all day. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but that did not happen in the UK, where their
Speaker 1: breakfast cut off time is still eleven am. Last week,
Speaker 1: a woman got in line for the McDonald's drive through
Speaker 1: before eleven, but didn't reach the window until eleven o two.
Speaker 1: I remember that pain, and of course she was not
Speaker 1: allowed to get breakfast. You have your hearts on an
Speaker 1: egg McMuffin. So she did what any reasonable hungry person
Speaker 1: would do and she called police. They're following your policy's officer.
Speaker 1: Wait people in the UK too. Unfortunately for her, the
Speaker 1: cops have no authority over Mickey D's breakfast times, and
Speaker 1: they said they were unable to help her. I thought
Speaker 1: that they would have busted down the door with guns drawn,
Speaker 1: make her a sandwich. That made her even more frustrated.
Speaker 1: So after police left, she told employees that she was
Speaker 1: going to wait in her car, sitting at the drive
Speaker 1: through window until breakfast started up again at five am,
Speaker 1: and she wasn't going to move. How sad I mean,
Speaker 1: you know what they were like, You're not proving any
Speaker 1: points here, man. The employees thought she was nuts, but
Speaker 1: they did accept her challenge. The weight was on the
Speaker 1: first hour went by without incident, but by one PM
Speaker 1: the woman became fidgety. Now. At one point, she rolled
Speaker 1: down window and asked if she could buy a small
Speaker 1: fry while she waited. The employees stuck to their guns
Speaker 1: and said, no, oh yeah, we'll see you at breakfast.
Speaker 1: I just see the drive through worker sitting there eating
Speaker 1: in front of her two by one five, she asked
Speaker 1: if she could use a plastic cup or container because
Speaker 1: she needed to go to the bathroom. The employees, who
Speaker 1: were grossed out, declined her request. I love these employees.
Speaker 1: By two PM, the woman drove off and never came back.
Speaker 1: The bladders hit employees cheered and bonded over the successful standoff,
Speaker 1: and then went back to business and kept serving burgers.
Speaker 1: Love this story. This next Laser stories out of the
Speaker 1: friendly Skies. We know that people will go really far
Speaker 1: to avoid extra airline fees. Yeah. I sat next to
Speaker 1: someone on Spirit Airlines who was wearing thirty layers to
Speaker 1: avoid paying the twenty dollars fee to have a carry
Speaker 1: one that. Yeah, maybe you actually can go too far.
Speaker 1: I say that because four guys in Koon Ming, China,
Speaker 1: were flying home from a business trip recently, and they
Speaker 1: were taking about sixty six pounds of oranges with them
Speaker 1: double yeah. But the airline told them there was an
Speaker 1: extra fee for shipping the fruit, approximately forty six bucks,
Speaker 1: which was six times the amount they paid. All the
Speaker 1: guys thought that fee was too expensive, so instead of
Speaker 1: throwing them away, they stood there for about a half
Speaker 1: hour eating all of the oranges. Did you say sixty
Speaker 1: six pounds? Yep, that's about sixteen or seventeen pounds per person.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, who's not getting scurvy? All right? But
Speaker 1: they're planning backfired when all of them wound up with
Speaker 1: mouth ulcers from eating all that acid. Yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 1: would be raw mouth now. One of them says, quote,
Speaker 1: we never want to have an orange every again. This
Speaker 1: next laser stories out of Stamford, Connecticut. Thirty seven year
Speaker 1: old woman took her truck out to a Walmart parking
Speaker 1: lot during a big snowstorm recently, and the only logical
Speaker 1: thing to do, of course, was to gun the engine
Speaker 1: and rip some sweet donuts. Yeah, go to any Walmart
Speaker 1: in the country and there will be somebody doing donuts outside.
Speaker 1: But while she was doing that, she lost control and
Speaker 1: her truck fell into the icy harbor next to the lot. Yeah,
Speaker 1: placement of your car is important. The fire department had
Speaker 1: to rescue the woman and the guy who was in
Speaker 1: the truck with her. Oh my gosh. The recovery took
Speaker 1: about an hour as the truck slowly sank through the ice.
Speaker 1: The guy was even totally submerged for fifteen seconds before
Speaker 1: dive CRUs finally rescued him. Guys, he was heading to
Speaker 1: the hospital for treatment, but the woman refused. She told
Speaker 1: authorities she wanted to go into the Walmart and see
Speaker 1: if they had surveillance video of her super sick driving,
Speaker 1: well to go viral video. Instead, she was charged with
Speaker 1: reckless operation good. The next laser stories out of What's
Speaker 1: that Smell Central? Remember last spring when we all discovered
Speaker 1: cooking yeah, you can do that yourself. Well, make sure
Speaker 1: to check in the back of your fridge because there
Speaker 1: might still be some of it in there. Don't talk
Speaker 1: about dirty fridges, please, I already have PTSD from cleaning
Speaker 1: out our work fridge. I have to mention this because
Speaker 1: the average person has five expired items stinking up their
Speaker 1: refrigerator right now. According to a new poll, I think
Speaker 1: my Thanksgiving mash potatoes are shut up? Are you joking?
Speaker 1: Brooklet's disgusted. They say moldy leftovers are the number one
Speaker 1: most common culprit. Oh yeah, yeah, it's better than doing dishes.
Speaker 1: The smelliest defenders also include broccoli, fish, and old fruit
Speaker 1: that's gone bad. Put black beans on that list. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, you guys. Oh, I thought you said put
Speaker 1: black beans on that, and it's a salad. Broccoli and
Speaker 1: old fruit regularly, that's what I wrop for live. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Here's a few more stats from the study. Forty eight
Speaker 1: percent of us have thrown out an entire container of leftovers,
Speaker 1: including the tup aware because it was too gross to watch.
Speaker 1: I actually, yeah, I did that last time. It's what
Speaker 1: I just did when we cleaned out our office bridge
Speaker 1: and I felt terrible about it. I was like, we're
Speaker 1: going to just throw this away, but I didn't know
Speaker 1: if it was salvageable. It was like the mold had
Speaker 1: eaten into the plastic. You could see the video right
Speaker 1: now at Broken Jeffrey Facebook page. Check it out. It
Speaker 1: takes an average of five weeks of something going bad
Speaker 1: in our fridge before we'll finally investigate the smell. And
Speaker 1: the last time the average person cleaned out their fridge
Speaker 1: was in early September. Okay, that sounds about right. It's
Speaker 1: been a while. Make sure to clean out your fridges.
Speaker 1: But I know this guy did not take that advice.
Speaker 1: He ate a moldy piece of lettuce and now look
Speaker 1: at him, thinks he's Superman. Bro, you need a doctor,
Speaker 1: not a shoe. That sound means, but Laser Stories has
Speaker 1: come to an end for the day. We'll do it
Speaker 1: against same time Wednesday,