Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that just won an eating competition
Speaker 1: for most edible underwear in ten minutes. No chop sticks allowed, ladies.
Speaker 1: It's Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird new
Speaker 1: stories around the glove, just like everyone else does, except
Speaker 1: we have a laser and those other trap cakes just
Speaker 1: knelt his first Laser Stories out of Tokyo. Did you
Speaker 1: ever have a teacher confiscates something and not give it
Speaker 1: back to you? That reportedly happened to some guy in Japan,
Speaker 1: and he decided to concoct an elaborate scheme to get
Speaker 1: it back. Kid. Yeah, well, be careful with the word kid.
Speaker 1: But this involved him and his girlfriend breaking into the
Speaker 1: school while the place was closed for winter vacation. It's
Speaker 1: unclear what the contraband was, but it must have been
Speaker 1: worth something because the guy, get this, is six three
Speaker 1: years old. Whoa his girlfriend is fifty eight, So whatever
Speaker 1: was taken happened more than forty years ago. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: still teaching. Once the couple got in through a skylight
Speaker 1: on the roof, they began wandering around looking for the
Speaker 1: teacher's office, and that's when a security guard overheard him
Speaker 1: and called the police. It's Japan. They got more funding.
Speaker 1: I think the cops arrested them for trespassing. Not surprisingly,
Speaker 1: both the guy and the girlfriend were intoxicated a weird
Speaker 1: So you may be wondering where did he expect to
Speaker 1: find this item? Yeah, because, like Brooke was saying, you
Speaker 1: wouldn't expect that it spent the last forty years in
Speaker 1: the same desk draw or did it? It turns out
Speaker 1: the teacher he was looking for was still employed there,
Speaker 1: and I've been working at that same school for forty
Speaker 1: two years at the same desk, boring for the teacher.
Speaker 1: Are we ever going to find out what he was
Speaker 1: looking for? We don't know, But when interviewed after the arrest,
Speaker 1: the teacher encouraged the man to try again and next
Speaker 1: time he'd have a little surprise waiting for its next
Speaker 1: laser story is how did the domain of Lord Basos?
Speaker 1: So everyone? Did he hire? Did he hire you to
Speaker 1: say it like that? That's just that's how it came
Speaker 1: out right now, If you haven't noticed, Amazon's currently ruling
Speaker 1: the entire world, Yeah, you're going to change the from
Speaker 1: Earth to Amazon. Yeah, I heard that too. I like it.
Speaker 1: The online store is far and away the industry leader,
Speaker 1: and in the last few years they've gotten even more aggressive,
Speaker 1: opening brick and mortar bookstores and cashierless grocery shops. We
Speaker 1: got one not far from our radio station. Well they
Speaker 1: must be getting bored again because they just announced they're
Speaker 1: going to be opening their first department store inside a
Speaker 1: real life mall, double rain Ball. Oh my god. Was
Speaker 1: Amazon's plan this whole time to make every other brick
Speaker 1: and mortar store go out of business and then swoop
Speaker 1: in and take over it all. It seems like like
Speaker 1: a lot of these malls went away thanks to Amazon. Yeah,
Speaker 1: real estate's cheap, right, this is brilliant. They did find
Speaker 1: them all though, in Glendale, just outside of LA And
Speaker 1: they're gonna call it Amazon's style. I feel like we
Speaker 1: could go back to the drawing board on the name.
Speaker 1: So how is Amazon's style going to be different than
Speaker 1: other stores? Well, the shopping experience is going to utilize
Speaker 1: a lot of tech, with QR codes and touch screens.
Speaker 1: Dan Daniel just walk in naked and you walk out
Speaker 1: clothes in your mind. It's how I like it. As
Speaker 1: for why they're doing it, they say clothes are probably
Speaker 1: the most difficult item to buy online. Because you want
Speaker 1: to try them on, and it's also easier to browse
Speaker 1: clothes when you're in person. Absolutely and like touch the
Speaker 1: fabric well. And it sucks because like I think women
Speaker 1: go through WAS two but like a large and one brand.
Speaker 1: It's absolutely at least that's what I tell myself. Yea
Speaker 1: at all next laser stories out of Nunia Business. When
Speaker 1: you think of the most prestigious business schools in the world,
Speaker 1: you might think of Harvard, Yale, the Wharton School of Business,
Speaker 1: even Central Community College it's up there. Wow, does anybody
Speaker 1: know you think of all of those before you would
Speaker 1: think of Taco Bell Business School. That's actually it's a
Speaker 1: real thing. It's a thing for Taco Bell managers who
Speaker 1: will soon be the first class to go through their school.
Speaker 1: And they are pumped how much you want to be?
Speaker 1: They ring a giant bell. Yeah at the graduation party. Yeah.
Speaker 1: This isn't a four year program or even a two
Speaker 1: year no sticking with the brand. This is the fast
Speaker 1: food version of going to college. It's a six week
Speaker 1: Taco boot camp education program designed to teach them the
Speaker 1: fundamentals of franchise owners. Driving through a drive through, you
Speaker 1: actually order what degree you want. I think the status
Speaker 1: part is if you fail, you get six weeks and
Speaker 1: you don't pass, you can retake it. It's like the
Speaker 1: bachelors on the dollar menu. Man, there isn't some stuff
Speaker 1: at university president trying to get you to sign up.
Speaker 1: Either the company's enlisted Little nas X. He's a former
Speaker 1: Taco Bell worker who is appointed to be the newly
Speaker 1: created Chief Taco Impact Officer. That's such a sweet that
Speaker 1: was my nickname in college. And he's going to serve
Speaker 1: as the spokesman for the program work in subway. I
Speaker 1: want to be the spokesson And that's a bad This
Speaker 1: is actually happening. So if someone tells you that they're
Speaker 1: leaving their wife to go to Taco Bell school and
Speaker 1: start all over again, port your friend. Apparently it's legit.
Speaker 1: It's only six weeks. You could stay married. His next
Speaker 1: laser stories out of Sports Headquarters. Nothing feels better as
Speaker 1: a super fan than blaming a bad play all on
Speaker 1: the ref ref Does your wife know you've been screwing
Speaker 1: us for the last two quarters. I always call people
Speaker 1: out of games. Will might come on. It's always it,
Speaker 1: but then I do it much. But that all might
Speaker 1: be a thing. In the past because robot umpires have
Speaker 1: been given a promotion to triple A. I heard this
Speaker 1: today is happening in baseball now they're one step away
Speaker 1: from the major leagues. No, you don't want a robot
Speaker 1: that takes out like the error, exactly, it's all part
Speaker 1: of the game. I don't like the roots. Well, I'm
Speaker 1: not sure what you're picturing, Brook. Are you thinking like
Speaker 1: Wally School. That's able, that's really cute, But that's not
Speaker 1: what's happening. It's a highly sophisticated computer robot system that's
Speaker 1: going to be behind the plate calling balls and strikes.
Speaker 1: You know, at this point, let's just get robot batters.
Speaker 1: I mean they're gonna be able to hit it farther
Speaker 1: about performance, about getting the calls right. Brooke is worried
Speaker 1: about the real life bumps who you would think might
Speaker 1: be ready to strike over the robots taking their jobs.
Speaker 1: But think again. Not only did the Umpires Association agree
Speaker 1: to this in its latest labor contract, but they're actually
Speaker 1: actively recruiting employees to operate the robot um system in
Speaker 1: eleven leagues across the country. There if you nerds finally
Speaker 1: get a spot on the baseball field. So I guess
Speaker 1: in a few years we might have robots for everything,
Speaker 1: well not everything. That sound means. Laser Stories has come
Speaker 1: to an end. Of the day's gonna let him finish
Speaker 1: up the Laser Stories came to an end. Let's do
Speaker 1: it again at the same time. On Wednesday, Broke and
Speaker 1: Jeffrey in the morning,