Speaker 1: The star is here, hit him, hit record, because the
Speaker 1: star has walked in to the theater. I have a
Speaker 1: question for everyone. Do you know where you're going to?
Speaker 1: Do you like the things that Live is showing you?
Speaker 1: I don't know this song. I don't know what's the chorus?
Speaker 1: Where are you going to? What's the chor? Do you
Speaker 1: know it's a Diana Ross song? She's say, Okay, well, anyway, listen.
Speaker 1: I'm very nervous you guys. We have so much to
Speaker 1: talk about. But tonight, um, I'm doing a very limited
Speaker 1: um screening of my film A Good Person for some
Speaker 1: friends for the first time, and Donald Phase I will
Speaker 1: be there. I will be up in that piece. Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: now don't try and like steal focused the movie. And
Speaker 1: well I'm trying to get another job. Bro. I'm gonna know.
Speaker 1: It's a bunch of very affluential people. Yes, there will
Speaker 1: be some um um influential people. And that's what I meant.
Speaker 1: I need not I need you to not affluent and
Speaker 1: influence get up there. Yeah, there will be affluent. I
Speaker 1: gotta do a show. I gotta do a show. I
Speaker 1: need to not get up there and start doing the
Speaker 1: fucking dance. You do. I'm trying to be in the
Speaker 1: next Marvel movie, Figgy. You know that's not going to
Speaker 1: be at the Friends and Family screening? What the fuck
Speaker 1: am I going there for that? Friends and I need
Speaker 1: your opinion on on Let me ask you a question. Yes,
Speaker 1: will anybody in the Star Wars or Marvel Universe or
Speaker 1: DC universe be up in attendance? No, they are not
Speaker 1: part of mine. I just learned that. I just learned
Speaker 1: that some come up. It's only, um, you know, a
Speaker 1: tight group of people that you know. You do this
Speaker 1: for those of you not in the business, because, as
Speaker 1: I've mentioned before, you you've only been two people sitting
Speaker 1: in a room staring at a computer, my editor Dan Shawk,
Speaker 1: and I and we need you need some new eyeballs.
Speaker 1: You need people to say, hey, that's really working, or
Speaker 1: hey this part is a bit slow, or hey this
Speaker 1: part is moving as hell, or hey, I obviously it
Speaker 1: goes without saying you see where there's humor, if people
Speaker 1: laugh and all that stuff. So tonight I'm just I
Speaker 1: have butterflies. I feel like it's it's a big day
Speaker 1: for me because it's the very first time anyone other
Speaker 1: than me and my editor and a few others will
Speaker 1: will have seen it. But it's gonna be great. This
Speaker 1: is this is a great opportunity too. Though. You're gonna
Speaker 1: learn so much. Bro, You're gonna learn so much tonight. Yep.
Speaker 1: And so look at it that way. I know you're
Speaker 1: nervous and everything I know, but you're gonna learn everything.
Speaker 1: You're gonna learn almost probably ninety five percent of everything
Speaker 1: you need to know before this movie goes out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna learn. These are great you know, these are
Speaker 1: great helpful things. Also because it's such a friendly audience.
Speaker 1: It's not like people coming with their arms folded. It's
Speaker 1: people like, hey, we love you. That's right, yeah, right, yeah.
Speaker 1: It's not an audience of people and being like okay,
Speaker 1: go impress me. It's people being like, oh that mean
Speaker 1: let me what what? What help could I possibly offer?
Speaker 1: Zach insight on this and anyways, I'm very excited. The
Speaker 1: other thing not to make this all about me, was
Speaker 1: that I uh, as I mentioned to you, Cheaper by
Speaker 1: the dozen is coming out March eighteenth on Disney Plus. Upause, Okay,
Speaker 1: Thunders felt bad. I felt bad giving it for myself.
Speaker 1: That's why we should give it back to Daniel, But okay,
Speaker 1: it's another conversation. Get back into it about all right, listen,
Speaker 1: so um cheaper by the dozen. I showed Donald and
Speaker 1: Casey the trailer, which isn't out yet. I will you'll
Speaker 1: be the first group of people I tell the second
Speaker 1: the trailer drops, that's what the kids say. But I
Speaker 1: showed Donald and Casey the uh, the the one that's
Speaker 1: not released yet. And you know, they really are the
Speaker 1: target demo because their parents with kids, and they loved it, right, Donald,
Speaker 1: we did love it. Actually, we laughed out loud. Not
Speaker 1: only did we laugh out out it was something that
Speaker 1: you know, Rocco and Wilder are huge fans of their godfather,
Speaker 1: uncle Zach, and so we put it on the big
Speaker 1: screen and we watched the trailer on the big screen
Speaker 1: and Rocco laughed out loud, really yeah, out loud, like
Speaker 1: like oh like laughed and so thank yeah, you know
Speaker 1: that right right there, that right there, I know we're
Speaker 1: gonna be watching. I'm telling you, if you're a Scrubs fan,
Speaker 1: there's definitely a bit of scrubsy overlap and uh, you'll
Speaker 1: love it. And it's me and Gabrielle Union being parents
Speaker 1: to ten children, of all different races, because the story
Speaker 1: tells you why we have more than just the children
Speaker 1: we have together, and we have an adopted child. It's
Speaker 1: it's very complex, but you're gonna love it and your
Speaker 1: kids will love it. And you know, I showed it
Speaker 1: to a Mandaclutes too, and she said, this is so
Speaker 1: great because there's so many things you put on for
Speaker 1: a kid, and you're like, I would never want to
Speaker 1: watch this with them. And then this is the kind
Speaker 1: of thing where like Donald and Casey are cracking up
Speaker 1: at the trailer, and so's Rocco. It's perfect. It's wonderful. You.
Speaker 1: I mean, you got my endorsement, buddy, and you got
Speaker 1: my kids endorsement. I had some good laughs on that show,
Speaker 1: didn't dude. Yeah, well, yeah, of course, I don't want to.
Speaker 1: I don't want to spoil it for all. It'll be
Speaker 1: out soon, it'll be I mean, the movie comes out
Speaker 1: March eighteenth, with the trailer must be coming on soon,
Speaker 1: but yeah, March eighteenth, and I'm going on Ellen. I'm
Speaker 1: going on Ellen whoa, which is weird because I haven't
Speaker 1: fucking been on a talk show and I'm very rusty
Speaker 1: with that. Well, now you do it. All you do.
Speaker 1: You do a podcast? Man? You know, I know, but dude,
Speaker 1: but pandemic wise, can you even think of that? I
Speaker 1: can't even remember the last like go into a place
Speaker 1: and be on a talk show thing I've done. It
Speaker 1: was pre pandemic, pre apocalypse. You're actually going into eclipse? Yeah,
Speaker 1: go in? Yeah, you come in there these days, right,
Speaker 1: So you suit. I gotta worry about my yellow corduroy
Speaker 1: suits because it's very unique and it feels like it's
Speaker 1: like a mustard. You've seen it before, Yeah, I had it.
Speaker 1: It's bespoke. I had it made in the United Kingdom. Wow,
Speaker 1: that's actually that was actually made to fit you. Yes.
Speaker 1: There's a famous cinemhotographer named Shamus McGarvey who I love.
Speaker 1: He's a fucking genius and um and he often I
Speaker 1: follow on Instagram and he's often posting himself in these
Speaker 1: ridiculously unique, brightly colored corduroy suits and I'm like, those
Speaker 1: are so amazing. So I slid into his d ms
Speaker 1: about other things too, because I'm a I'm a super
Speaker 1: fan of his. We talked about I talked about how
Speaker 1: much I love his um, his work. Donald He's definitely
Speaker 1: shot one of those events your movies. I think, so
Speaker 1: you probably okay, I'm just IMDb M, I am now
Speaker 1: and I am now engaged to go on anyway, I'm
Speaker 1: making a very long story out of this. He said,
Speaker 1: there's um this tailor in UK that's not insanely priced
Speaker 1: and they're all custom made anyway, So that's I'm already
Speaker 1: thinking about what I'm gonna wear on Ellen. Because it
Speaker 1: won't air for a while, I think I tape it soon,
Speaker 1: but it airs on Let's think seasonal now, Oh, let's
Speaker 1: think seasonal because it's going to air around the premiere
Speaker 1: of the show. Joel has done her research. Donald he
Speaker 1: shot the original Avengers movie. That's one of my favorites.
Speaker 1: It's a good one. There's there's a moment in that
Speaker 1: movie that I used to this is this is how
Speaker 1: old I am, and this is how old the Avengers
Speaker 1: are is there was a moment where I used to
Speaker 1: have to fast forward to that to all the time
Speaker 1: just because it was I thought it was the coolest
Speaker 1: thing in movie history at that point point. And that's
Speaker 1: when Iron Man is over you know, start tower, and
Speaker 1: he looks up and the whole the portal opens up
Speaker 1: and he goes right invasion and he goes flying up
Speaker 1: towards it like the hero he is, and freaking starts
Speaker 1: taking out aliens as they come through. Oh sorry, demy
Speaker 1: uh starts taking out extraterrestrials as they come through. Anyway,
Speaker 1: So that's what's going on. Um, lots going on. And
Speaker 1: it's a beautiful day in La right, guys. The sun
Speaker 1: is out so rainy here, it's been so rainy and
Speaker 1: it really is a beautiful, um day. This is why
Speaker 1: we live here in winter, those of you who um
Speaker 1: who don't Because there's oranges on the tree and it's
Speaker 1: sunny out. It's beautiful. Let's get into it, then, nurses
Speaker 1: so yadund Yet it's so weird to be watching Scrubs again.
Speaker 1: I haven't watched this television show in a very long time.
Speaker 1: In this episode has so much the introduction of the
Speaker 1: legendary Elizabeth Banks. The introduction alone is two pages worth
Speaker 1: of notes. EB came through. Yo, EB came through and
Speaker 1: like changed a lot of things. That was like one
Speaker 1: of those moments for at least for me. I don't
Speaker 1: know about for you, but at least for me when
Speaker 1: she came through where I was like, oh, Wow, a
Speaker 1: movie star. We got another movie star in here, and
Speaker 1: and it was somebody who I laughed at a lot,
Speaker 1: and at that point in time had her finger on
Speaker 1: the pulse of what was fire, what was hot, and
Speaker 1: she chose to be on Grubs and so that was
Speaker 1: kind of cool. Yes, And not only had she had
Speaker 1: a good, thriving movie actress career going, but she came
Speaker 1: on and she was great. Her whole arc on the
Speaker 1: show was always so funny. She was always so humble
Speaker 1: and cool and fun. And then she's gone on now
Speaker 1: to become a major, huge producer and director and actress
Speaker 1: still and she's just she's become a mogul. So she's
Speaker 1: really an impressive human being because she's not one of
Speaker 1: those people who said, Okay, I'll just wait and see
Speaker 1: what part I get next. She like created an empire
Speaker 1: for herself. And I'm really I'm really proud of our
Speaker 1: old friend Elizabeth Banks. So am I. It's always refreshing
Speaker 1: to see. Before the Apocalypse, I used to run into
Speaker 1: her and it was always such a good It was
Speaker 1: always nice, right, it was always good, right, always. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's a sweetheart. Anyway, she was very funny, but let's
Speaker 1: get into it. Donald the janitor steals m the hot
Speaker 1: doctor mannequin. Yes, for the for the matter. For the carpooling. Now,
Speaker 1: I've seen people do this. They put some sort of
Speaker 1: dummy and let me get this straight. You've witnessed actual someone. No,
Speaker 1: I don't know that I've driven by it, but I've
Speaker 1: seen like memes of people getting caught and stuff like that,
Speaker 1: and I think it's very funny. They take that shit
Speaker 1: seriously here in LA with that HOV lane. I don't
Speaker 1: know if where you listener, if where you live, if
Speaker 1: you if you have this um some of our audiences
Speaker 1: in Europe, but you can only drive in certain lanes
Speaker 1: on the highways if you're more than two people. It's
Speaker 1: it's to try and get people to car pool. I
Speaker 1: don't know if it's made any difference. No, I don't
Speaker 1: think it. I don't. I don't like even the car
Speaker 1: pool lane is packed in Los Angeles, man Like, it's
Speaker 1: just they widen the highways and it's still packed. Well,
Speaker 1: they added, now there's a lot of all people in
Speaker 1: LA with electric cars, and if you have an electric
Speaker 1: car or you're allowed into the HOV lane as well.
Speaker 1: But do you think there's people that really actually commute
Speaker 1: and go, hey, Bob, I'll pick pick somebody can use
Speaker 1: the cho veling. I'm not trying to dan all Joel. No.
Speaker 1: Even when I was poor, I was like, I'll take
Speaker 1: the bus or something. Oh so wait, let me ask.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't ask, Okay, So okay, that's a different story. Okay,
Speaker 1: So me, as somebody who's driving, I've never volunteered to say,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'll pick you up every day and
Speaker 1: we can and we can car pool together. I've I've
Speaker 1: had somebody ask me though, dude, listen, I cannot. Would
Speaker 1: you be all right with no? We don't have we
Speaker 1: don't have normal nine to five jobs. I guess what
Speaker 1: I'm really talking about is like people that have a
Speaker 1: standard schedule where they have to drive someplace and there's
Speaker 1: a lot of traffic. Are they are people really going like, hey,
Speaker 1: let's commute together so we can use the cho vling.
Speaker 1: I don't know if if that's the thing. Again, even
Speaker 1: when I was poor and was working at nine to five,
Speaker 1: like it felt invasive to be like, hey, can you
Speaker 1: take like an extra fifteen to twenty minutes out of
Speaker 1: your day to like drive me around? Even if I
Speaker 1: was giving them like gas money. No, I was like,
Speaker 1: you can you can't even be like and the caveat
Speaker 1: is will take the HOV lane because it's too r places.
Speaker 1: There are places where where it and this may be
Speaker 1: like you know Portland or something where there's like literally
Speaker 1: like a line, like there'll be a line of people
Speaker 1: waiting m and and and you just go and you
Speaker 1: grab and you pick up some people and that allows
Speaker 1: you to get in the HOV lane to get Wow.
Speaker 1: I don't know where that is, Joel, see if you
Speaker 1: can google where that is. But like I remember reading
Speaker 1: an article about like someplace where it was so well organized,
Speaker 1: where like there'd literally be like a line of people
Speaker 1: and you would just go pick up your random HOV person.
Speaker 1: I'd like to get into a I like to get
Speaker 1: into a moment right now where I like, this is
Speaker 1: called Donald's baked thoughts. Okay, there's somebody out there right
Speaker 1: now that just was like Hov, I got my own lane,
Speaker 1: my in curse, Holy Cow, Hope is the best rapper ever.
Speaker 1: I'm just putting it out there. Someone out there just
Speaker 1: picked that up baked baked thoughts with Okay, so your
Speaker 1: big thoughts led you to what I'm assuming is a
Speaker 1: jay z lyric. Yeah, hov, I got my own lane. Okay, Bars,
Speaker 1: you know, can I talk about the contract you're sending
Speaker 1: to me? Yeah, let's get into it. Okay. So look,
Speaker 1: I am a very lucky man. I have finally cracked
Speaker 1: a code somehow and am producing. I've created my own
Speaker 1: television show, thank you very much. I don't know how
Speaker 1: I did it, so it's like a blur, but I
Speaker 1: did it right exactly. There was a lot of that involved. Anyway,
Speaker 1: at the end of the show, there's these things called
Speaker 1: tag like you know, you have your own personal tag
Speaker 1: vand Bill Lawrences is the duzer one with the Charlotte
Speaker 1: nos Charlotte going bye bye, but Charlotte going bye bye, right,
Speaker 1: and other people have a great ones like you've seen
Speaker 1: them after shows, after every show, like sit Ubu, Sit
Speaker 1: Good Dog. What do they call the vanity cards or something?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know what they're called. But
Speaker 1: I have been I have been asked if I have
Speaker 1: one yes for the end of my show that I
Speaker 1: created with Stupid Buddy Studio. Stupid Buddy Studios has one.
Speaker 1: Adult Swim has one, and they've asked for mine. I
Speaker 1: came up with the idea to ask my good old
Speaker 1: buddy Zach Braff to for the rights too, for the
Speaker 1: rights to get into Day. I'm so honest right there,
Speaker 1: I am so honored. Wow. The funny thing is that
Speaker 1: I go, yeah, for ten k, and then he FaceTime
Speaker 1: me like, wait for real, I'm like, you think that
Speaker 1: I would take a cent of your money for the
Speaker 1: for my for my art. Now listen, if somebody else
Speaker 1: came and saying, hey, we've heard the Days Shoot song,
Speaker 1: we'd like to use it for the new Cheerios commercial.
Speaker 1: They gotta give me that money. Then they have to
Speaker 1: get then they have tokay, Yeah, they got to pay
Speaker 1: that money. I'm so honored, Donald, And it means that
Speaker 1: I really will make it to the end of all
Speaker 1: of your episodes because I'll want to hear that yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you. I knew I had to find a way
Speaker 1: to I had to find a way to hook you. Now.
Speaker 1: It's like, if I want them to freaking see everything
Speaker 1: that I've created from here on out, I have to
Speaker 1: somehow get them involved. I must use it from mine too, right.
Speaker 1: I love that that'd be funny. Um, all right, So
Speaker 1: Carla has insane mood swings. Um she real? Not? Is
Speaker 1: that real? Like I know we're spoofing it a little
Speaker 1: because it's a TV comedy, but she really she's that
Speaker 1: first scene with you, she's crying and then she's sat
Speaker 1: and then she wants to fuck. By the way, your
Speaker 1: body looks fierce like Tay Diggs, you were in cliche,
Speaker 1: I was working. I think that was the master. Clint dude.
Speaker 1: You you did something right because I was. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying it moved, but I'm saying it my my shaft
Speaker 1: like it it just just shifted enough. No, it didn't.
Speaker 1: There was no blood flow. It just kind of like
Speaker 1: it was like a hiccup. It was like a hiccup.
Speaker 1: It was as though it was as though my tip hiccuped.
Speaker 1: Oh well, you know, if you if you if you pause,
Speaker 1: if you pause, you can see outline. I paused, Oh
Speaker 1: really just to check the speaking of which, not to
Speaker 1: upstage you, but Robs fucking Bananomic in this episode. Did
Speaker 1: you see the amount of bounced Joel? Not only was
Speaker 1: it jiggling? Could it have like glitter? Didn't it like
Speaker 1: sparkle too? It look like it looked like it springs.
Speaker 1: It looked like it had springs, the springs and wings.
Speaker 1: I don't think in five seasons of scrubs in that
Speaker 1: banana hammock his dick has ever bounced as much as
Speaker 1: it bounces, and you can see it just bouncing. Dude.
Speaker 1: Can we get back on to this emotion? Can we
Speaker 1: get back to my body and how fierce I looked? Listen?
Speaker 1: I remember when my wife was pregnant with Rocco and Wilder.
Speaker 1: She would laugh so hard that she would start to cry,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, and be like, well, what
Speaker 1: are you crying? A bunch of no, I'm just so
Speaker 1: but she would be laughing that it would turn to crying,
Speaker 1: and I remembers the mood swings that we see in
Speaker 1: movies with pregnant people. Is real, is what you're saying.
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, it's so real. But it's so beautiful too,
Speaker 1: Like you know, Turk's patience with Carla is amazing because
Speaker 1: he you know, he gets butt naked thinking that he's
Speaker 1: gonna he's gonna have sex with his pregnant wife. But
Speaker 1: the libido of a woman just stereotypically does increase, oh absolutely,
Speaker 1: around one month. Does that happen? Do you recall after
Speaker 1: they stopped puking. Okay, so post you know, maybe maybe
Speaker 1: maybe second trimester. I'm guess, I guess. So, so as
Speaker 1: soon as we can ask doctor Penis today. By the way,
Speaker 1: do we have doctor Penis today? He is supposed to
Speaker 1: be here. He confirmed this morning that I'm so excited. Fans,
Speaker 1: we really wanted to give you a treat um because
Speaker 1: you know, doctor Penis is a favorite, and we we
Speaker 1: wanted to return to you after so long away with
Speaker 1: with something golden like doctor Penis. Donald have you thought
Speaker 1: about I was couldn't fall asleeplust line. It was legitimately
Speaker 1: thinking about doctor Penis. I don't I don't ever have
Speaker 1: to think about questions. I have so many questions. Okay
Speaker 1: about Penis? Is all right? Well we should ask doctor
Speaker 1: Penis because I'm sure it was covered in in neurologist school.
Speaker 1: When a woman starts to get horny when she's pregnant,
Speaker 1: it'd be funny if she could get pregnant again. Wait, well,
Speaker 1: she's pregnant. I mean, I know, I'm not I know,
Speaker 1: I know I can't can't happen, But it'd be funny
Speaker 1: if there was just one another egg that was just
Speaker 1: hanging out and it has happened before. It's a medical miracle.
Speaker 1: But there are some women who have two uteruses. Again,
Speaker 1: super rare, but it has happened before. Really. Yeah, I've
Speaker 1: heard of the case where there was a case where
Speaker 1: a woman had sex with a white man and the
Speaker 1: egg was fertilized, and then within not a very long
Speaker 1: amount of time, had sex with a black man and
Speaker 1: miraculously another egg was fertilized and um, and she gave
Speaker 1: birth to twins. One was white and almost black. Now,
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's an old wives tale. No,
Speaker 1: that's true too. Okay, google it, choell to make sure.
Speaker 1: I'm wild. No, I will, but I'm one hundred percent
Speaker 1: sure it's true that that husband who had quite a surprise,
Speaker 1: that's just genetics. Well, no, no, I'm saying I think
Speaker 1: we can infer from the story that either of those
Speaker 1: two men, black or white, was cheated on um because
Speaker 1: she well, maybe not. Maybe she was just a perfect
Speaker 1: case I know of, as a white woman with a
Speaker 1: black partner. She had twins. They look strikingly similar. I'll
Speaker 1: send you a picture, but just genetically one, she said,
Speaker 1: He said. He said, He's saying a young lady had
Speaker 1: sex with a white male one day and then a
Speaker 1: black male another day. No, not within days. It was
Speaker 1: like it's like with like very as close as possible,
Speaker 1: Like let's say it was an hour, okay, so maybe
Speaker 1: they were doing a threesome or something on manage TOI
Speaker 1: as they call it Leah French, this happened. They both went,
Speaker 1: oh god, yeah, by the way, it could have been.
Speaker 1: And ten months later she was like, yours and yours
Speaker 1: child support. It could have been a threesome maybe, And
Speaker 1: there were two eggs and they both ejaculated. We asked,
Speaker 1: let's ask doctor about do you think it's possible that
Speaker 1: they were Never mind, Joell, will you double you mean,
Speaker 1: what do you call it? Double penetration? Exactly right, but
Speaker 1: double penetration in the same in the same hole, not
Speaker 1: one of those, not one of those hub And it
Speaker 1: was like one of those moments where it was like,
Speaker 1: if we can combine our strengths, yes, and they both
Speaker 1: came at the same yes, and exaculate at the same time. Yeah.
Speaker 1: That's a lot perhaps a lot of work at a
Speaker 1: new breed of human no, not a new breed, this experiment.
Speaker 1: And it's like, Joell, will you make a note to
Speaker 1: ask doctor Penis about this, because I think it's important
Speaker 1: this has happened. Dan, Daniel, are you googling? There's all
Speaker 1: sorts of stories that are coming up there. Yes, Wait,
Speaker 1: hold on, Daniel, are you in the dark web? Daniel?
Speaker 1: Go to the dark Web? Daniel? You probably know how
Speaker 1: to go to the dark Web, don't you? If I
Speaker 1: don't need to talk about that, right you do. I
Speaker 1: don't even how to get on the dark somebody would
Speaker 1: like meet me on the dark Web, I'd be like,
Speaker 1: where the fuck is the dark Web? Yeah, I'm not
Speaker 1: a computer has dark Web. I don't want to trigger
Speaker 1: all of our dark web listeners right now. But when
Speaker 1: I say the words tour browser, someone is going yup, y'all. Well,
Speaker 1: I don't know anything. I don't know what that's all right?
Speaker 1: Get back to how funny it was that they put
Speaker 1: Elizabeth Banks because of this wedding ring thing. So those
Speaker 1: of you who haven't watched such a joke, it's such
Speaker 1: a funny joke. JD can't see a woman when she
Speaker 1: has a wedding ring on. So Elizabeth Banks, it turns out,
Speaker 1: has been at the hospital all along, and JD just
Speaker 1: never recognized her. Because she had a wedding ring on right, right.
Speaker 1: And then we see gift shop girl who's all of
Speaker 1: a sudden still there, right, and You're like, I thought
Speaker 1: you died. I say, your parents flowers and she goes,
Speaker 1: I know you bought them from me. But you know
Speaker 1: what's so inappropriate? When Jad leaves that scene and they
Speaker 1: all turn invisible again, I go out like groping all
Speaker 1: the invisible trying to grope the invisible women. Yeah, dude,
Speaker 1: this is very inappropriate, very different times in television. Well,
Speaker 1: they were invisible, and I don't know that I struck
Speaker 1: any of them, but he jd our Hero does attempt
Speaker 1: to grab I like to think that they really didn't exist,
Speaker 1: and that in some ways, you know, this is all
Speaker 1: JD's imagination from the conversation that he had with Turkey. Right, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll take that. But it was very funny how they
Speaker 1: put Elizabeth Banks into all those scenarios when I'm singing
Speaker 1: Kung fu fighting and when and then they reveal her
Speaker 1: in the in the in the opening credits, and she's like,
Speaker 1: it's backwards. That's been bothering me for so long. You know,
Speaker 1: I was wondering, why, why are they doing the old
Speaker 1: credit sequence with the new credit. Uh sing, what is it? Audio?
Speaker 1: I can't do this. It's a lot slower if you
Speaker 1: look if you look at it. The only reason I
Speaker 1: knew that Donald was because I went on scrubs Wiki
Speaker 1: and they also caught that. Do you want men to
Speaker 1: read it to you? It says sure. Um. This episode
Speaker 1: includes a modified title sequence in which Kim steps in
Speaker 1: and reverses the X ray As we said, this was
Speaker 1: in response to criticism about the backwards X ray image,
Speaker 1: because you know, doctors told us forever. The extended version
Speaker 1: of the theme song Superman is the same as used
Speaker 1: in the short lived longer opening attached to some early
Speaker 1: season two episodes before all you fans revolted and said
Speaker 1: get that ship off, that shit out of here. The
Speaker 1: fans did not like that. They were like, get that
Speaker 1: shit out of here, and Bill was like, all right, bet,
Speaker 1: then how about this, I'm no Superman. Well, the honest
Speaker 1: Superman thing started because it was like every year we
Speaker 1: would get less and less screen time and more and
Speaker 1: more ads. So then it was like ian it became
Speaker 1: Superman because you'd rather have the screen time. The theme
Speaker 1: song the good Superman Um all right, So Elizabeth Banks,
Speaker 1: that was very funny. Todd's banana hammock bouncing. That was
Speaker 1: very very bouncy. Um, what the hell was random? It's
Speaker 1: like a shout out to grease. I guess so, but like,
Speaker 1: what was the point and what was the point at
Speaker 1: the end with the square situation? That was like a
Speaker 1: pulp fiction called out. I don't know if you remember
Speaker 1: in pulp fiction when no, yeah, sure and they showed
Speaker 1: the square absolutely all right, we're gonna take a break
Speaker 1: and we come back. I want to talk about how
Speaker 1: when Elizabeth Banks draws the length of an average penis
Speaker 1: and makes it very, very long, and she's trying to
Speaker 1: make Jad feel stupid. You noticed that Turk is nodding, like, yep,
Speaker 1: that's the correct size. All right, we'll be back, we'll
Speaker 1: be right back, and we're bad back. So she's raw
Speaker 1: is a giant penis and the patient nods and then
Speaker 1: you see Turk nodding, and she really meanted to do
Speaker 1: a joke on JD. And he runs out of the
Speaker 1: room pissed off. But then he comes back and he,
Speaker 1: without asking, the patient lifts up the blanket to examine
Speaker 1: his penis and it is in fact, we're assuming a giant,
Speaker 1: giant penis. Yes, I was wondering why JD had to
Speaker 1: come back to make sure. I think j D probably
Speaker 1: has insecurities about his penis size because as many men do,
Speaker 1: because they hear about people like you in the real
Speaker 1: world and they go, gosh, am I less. Then there's
Speaker 1: only one person out there doesn't. Right, Well, there's only
Speaker 1: one person out there who isn't insecure about his penis size,
Speaker 1: and that's the dude with the biggest penis, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. Well, I'm sure there's men that are
Speaker 1: in the adult industry that are feel pretty confident, and
Speaker 1: I bet you any amount of money, there's always a
Speaker 1: bigger Yeah. But but you know a lot of women
Speaker 1: we can talk to Doctor Penis about this, um say,
Speaker 1: a lot of that's bullshit. Yeah, you want it, you
Speaker 1: don't want it to be too tiny, but you also
Speaker 1: don't want it to be too too massive because it's painful.
Speaker 1: A great questions for Doctor Penis. Joell, please be marking
Speaker 1: some of these down, because I'm worried I'm going to
Speaker 1: forget them when he's in front of us and I
Speaker 1: get shy around him. This episode had a lot of
Speaker 1: Penis talk in it. Yes, from this is a perfect
Speaker 1: episode for doctor Penis to show up, all right, listen.
Speaker 1: Richard Wells directed this, who was one of our first
Speaker 1: assistant directors for many years, a wonderful man, and he
Speaker 1: directed it and he went on to become our UPM
Speaker 1: became the uniproduction manager, which is a money position, I
Speaker 1: mean a money dealing with the money position, and M.
Speaker 1: Garrett Donovan and Neil Goldman wrote it, who are very funny. Um.
Speaker 1: The janitor comes over and grabs JD's pencil that's not
Speaker 1: at the bencil hey, and I'm JD's like, what the
Speaker 1: fuck is that? And he's like, it's part of my
Speaker 1: stand up act and he go, I go Wendy performed,
Speaker 1: and he goes, I'm at the giggle pit every morning
Speaker 1: it's sun up. That's his slot. Now is anyone going
Speaker 1: to the giggle pit as sun up? That's the real question.
Speaker 1: But here we get the biggest look the reason this
Speaker 1: episode is special for Donald and I. Um, it's not
Speaker 1: the best episode ever, but it really really is an
Speaker 1: important episode because he really gets some doctor You actually
Speaker 1: see footage from footage from Doctor Yes, yes, not only
Speaker 1: not only not only that, but there's there's rumor of
Speaker 1: other footage that exists. Yes, yes, Now the poor the
Speaker 1: poor film, which is already in production. Clearly is um
Speaker 1: is being taped over by the janitor hes loaded with it. Yes,
Speaker 1: he So told you he's camera and he's been uploading
Speaker 1: a scene where doctor Acula delivers a baby and then
Speaker 1: eats it onto the hospital's website. So we know that
Speaker 1: there's lots of other scenes that have been documented. Yes,
Speaker 1: those that's the rumored scenes. But we finally get to see. Yes,
Speaker 1: and not only do we see what we see takes,
Speaker 1: we see takes. Actually we don't see see the scene.
Speaker 1: We see different takes. That's when he catches Kelso um
Speaker 1: beating up his van and he and they go to
Speaker 1: watch the video tabment and Kels is like, what the
Speaker 1: hell is this? Oh my god? Okay, after you finished this,
Speaker 1: we skipped something though. We can get go back. We
Speaker 1: can go back. I just jumped there, right, we can
Speaker 1: go back. Okay, So look, we skipped the fact that
Speaker 1: doctor Dad was a fake fucking play. It wasn't real.
Speaker 1: Doctor Dad was fake. It was a front dude. Yes,
Speaker 1: doctor Dad. We learned that Kelso's son's musical was a front.
Speaker 1: We know what was called Doctor Dad, and that his
Speaker 1: Kelso's son. For those of you who don't recall, it's
Speaker 1: been a lot while Um was in the musical doctors
Speaker 1: lead and he was sleeping with the actor playing Yes,
Speaker 1: doctor Dad, Kelso. Yes, now we're hearing, now we're hearing
Speaker 1: from Kelso that that was all a ruse. In fact,
Speaker 1: Doctor Dad was never in production. It was a metalab right,
Speaker 1: And he's fled to Canada and the fucking Mounties are
Speaker 1: involved right now? The sorry says I didn't know the
Speaker 1: Mounties got involved with anything, to be honest with you.
Speaker 1: The Mounties are their cops, right, Canadian police, right, Daniel, Joel, No,
Speaker 1: they have police. There are police officers. What's the difference
Speaker 1: between a Mountie Maybe it's like their their federal police.
Speaker 1: What's there from a Mountie and a national Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: it's there, like bi, I guess the Mounties are. I'm
Speaker 1: guessing right. I mean it's a little policing to national security.
Speaker 1: It's not the guys and the horses, Donald and stuff. No,
Speaker 1: the red guys on the horses, Joel, there's the red
Speaker 1: guys on the horses. I know, but sometimes I watch
Speaker 1: I'm watching a show Search Party where where they had
Speaker 1: mounties and they weren't The guy didn't show up on
Speaker 1: horseback in a red out that's uniform Search Party inaccurate,
Speaker 1: that is I was. I was going to echo Joel
Speaker 1: sentiment right there. That seems to be like their their
Speaker 1: dropper uniform, their DRIs. It sounds like to me, Search
Speaker 1: Party needs to work on that budget because they're lacking.
Speaker 1: It would be so much it would be much better
Speaker 1: if the guys showed up in the woods with the
Speaker 1: red jacket and the hat. I honestly thought. I honestly
Speaker 1: thought until recently, I guess probably the old Search Party
Speaker 1: that that the mounties were all on horses in red jackets.
Speaker 1: I mean, but what you're saying is that's just their
Speaker 1: dress uniform. When they're doing their day to day they
Speaker 1: are normally dressed. Now does their uniform always come with
Speaker 1: a horse? All right? Anyway, so the Mounties are involved
Speaker 1: in searching for Kelso's son. JD apparently uses expressions when
Speaker 1: he's turned on by a woman like turtle's wink and
Speaker 1: porcupine's hiccup. We haven't had that before. But then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden j D now fantasizes about doctor acculas
Speaker 1: this was a very heavy doctor Acculus. Yes, well, I
Speaker 1: think I think it's safe to say that Neil and
Speaker 1: Garrett were fans of the doctor Acculus storyline, because they
Speaker 1: probably should hit up Niel and Garrett to right by
Speaker 1: the way, I ran into Tim Hobert. Tim Hobert is
Speaker 1: wonderful for those of you who wouldn't possibly know, he
Speaker 1: was one of our main writers on the show, and
Speaker 1: he left us to go run the middle. I believe no.
Speaker 1: I thought he went on to psych after us. I
Speaker 1: don't know. He's a big writer. He did. He was
Speaker 1: the showrunner on the Mill for a while. And but
Speaker 1: the point is I ran into him and he said
Speaker 1: he loves the podcast. Can he please come on? Ye? Absolutely,
Speaker 1: you can come on. So, Joel, I need you to
Speaker 1: reach out to him, can you, Joel, you have Bill's
Speaker 1: assistance number right? Oh? You know I already emailed her.
Speaker 1: All right, go through her and say we need Tim
Speaker 1: Hobert's cell phone, and let's book him because he is
Speaker 1: a genuine fan of the podcast, and he'd be great
Speaker 1: to have on because he's a he's a hilarious comedy
Speaker 1: writer with lots of stories and his wife on a
Speaker 1: clear day, as his wife saying, on a clear day,
Speaker 1: I can see the very long way. So, yeah, we
Speaker 1: have this fantasy where I bite Elizabeth and it goes
Speaker 1: into full sort of windy vampire movie spinning effect, and
Speaker 1: then it cuts out of the fantasy and I go,
Speaker 1: vampires like it windy? I don't know. I guess when
Speaker 1: you show vampire scenes, if you think about it, I
Speaker 1: don't really watch vampire movies. It is often windy, right,
Speaker 1: it is? That's true? Well, you're very good with pop culture. Yeah,
Speaker 1: vampire films, don't you feel that wind is often used heavily?
Speaker 1: You gotta be throwing that hair if they're gonna be
Speaker 1: gorgeous eternally young creatures. They need the Beyonce fan to
Speaker 1: really get that hair going. It's usually the virgin vampires
Speaker 1: that are the ones that come with the white outfits
Speaker 1: that they've just been turned, that are freaking full of
Speaker 1: hair flowing in the wind. You're after? Do you remember that?
Speaker 1: What was that movie? Lost Boys? Donald? Did you like
Speaker 1: Lost Boys? Are you kidding me? Who didn't like Lost Boys?
Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever seen Lost Boys? Are you
Speaker 1: kidding me right now, I shout I was a favorite
Speaker 1: of my sisters. You know, she had movie He's on
Speaker 1: cassette that she would tape movies off TV on vhs
Speaker 1: and then watch them over and over and over and
Speaker 1: over again. And lost shall nut kid dude Girard wrote that, man,
Speaker 1: I worked with that dude, the dude that wrote that
Speaker 1: song later on in life, when I was I just
Speaker 1: graduated high school. Me I was in a music group.
Speaker 1: We were a boy band, and the dude who wrote
Speaker 1: that song took us in and tried to develop us
Speaker 1: into a big into like an act. And this was
Speaker 1: right around the time Clueless was coming out, and I
Speaker 1: chose to do Clueless instead of doing the boy band thing,
Speaker 1: and and the rest is history. But the dude that
Speaker 1: sang that song, dow shalt not for cry as sister
Speaker 1: now shall him? He shout out to Girard, you know,
Speaker 1: dude for real, right well, shout out to Girard. But
Speaker 1: also the Lost Boys, Doctor Boys. If you like I
Speaker 1: guess it's an eighties vampire movie. And if you're a
Speaker 1: fan of the Corries, yes, both Cories are in it. Yes,
Speaker 1: if you're old enough to know who Corey Haim and
Speaker 1: Corey Feldman Feldman are Um, it's a double Corey movie.
Speaker 1: The coreries made a lot of films together. License to
Speaker 1: Drive it was a genre. Do you know who's you
Speaker 1: know who's in License to Drive? Though? Right? Heather Graham?
Speaker 1: Heather Graham Graham, Yes, Um, all right, let's get back
Speaker 1: to the show scrubs. Donald Um, what about Oh this
Speaker 1: is one one of my favorites. J D lines Ever Relax,
Speaker 1: brown Bear, there's no shame in crime axing? Yes, So
Speaker 1: what's that about? I guess you come and excuse me.
Speaker 1: I guess you ejaculate and then cry? Did you just
Speaker 1: excuse yourself for saying come? I didn't know if I
Speaker 1: should say come? But did I have I said come
Speaker 1: before on the show? I don't know, but I don't
Speaker 1: see a problem with it. Well, my heart, I don't
Speaker 1: want I heart to think like I'm like, what are
Speaker 1: you talking about about? The show's already marked explicit? So
Speaker 1: you're all right, Well, let's ask doctor Penis if it's
Speaker 1: okay to use the word come. Yeah, Well it's I
Speaker 1: just I think come and cry sounds better than ejaculating. Cry. Okay,
Speaker 1: So apparently Turk will very often. It's this very often,
Speaker 1: or once in a while, Will We'll cry after he ejaculates.
Speaker 1: He's a CNC kind of guy. Have you ever cried
Speaker 1: after sex? Donald? No, I can't say that I have either. No.
Speaker 1: I would ask these two, but I'm worried that in
Speaker 1: the iheartum employee small prints, I'm not allowed to ask them. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say this. I have joked with Casey and
Speaker 1: been like, after we've had tex, be like, and now
Speaker 1: we're gonna have a baby. I pretended to cry, but
Speaker 1: you know, but never never have I ever? Okay, well,
Speaker 1: if it listen. The point is is, if you are
Speaker 1: someone who weeps after orgasming, JD's here to tell you
Speaker 1: that there's no shame in crime. Actually, that would be
Speaker 1: a great ring tone, Joel, there's no shame crime Act.
Speaker 1: So almost like there's no crying in baseball, there's no
Speaker 1: shame in crimax. There's no crying in baseball, there's no
Speaker 1: shame in crimax thing. There's no shame in crime axing. Yo.
Speaker 1: So this is one of Bill's favorite jokes ever, obviously,
Speaker 1: but that the carpet's wet in the lobby. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think this started with Neil Neil when Neil was on
Speaker 1: and we got a book Neil again, Duell. That's another
Speaker 1: fan favorite. We got to have him back, and I'm
Speaker 1: sure it'll come back. But Neil once said that a
Speaker 1: director told him to just mop there, and he said,
Speaker 1: why would I be mopping here? It's carpet. And I
Speaker 1: think everyone found that so funny that I believe the
Speaker 1: writers wrote it in to script because I started writing down,
Speaker 1: why is he mopping carpet? And and and then we
Speaker 1: made a whole joke out of him to joke out
Speaker 1: of it. Yeah, this is one of bill favorite jokes.
Speaker 1: So the janitor has gone to Kelsell's house and Kelsell says,
Speaker 1: I'm not afraid of you. I don't think you'd steal
Speaker 1: my money. And then the janitor returns wearing a very
Speaker 1: long leather jacket french coat, very much like the terminator.
Speaker 1: Yes it's nice and it seems expensive. Yes, layers, layers
Speaker 1: upon layers. Now we also learned that when when we
Speaker 1: almost see Enid but we don't see Enid, we just
Speaker 1: see her wheelchair, and we learned we learned that that
Speaker 1: she's got a new pants suit. So the implication, let
Speaker 1: me just go through with this implies the janitor. She's
Speaker 1: a she's a she's a she's a paraplegic. So she
Speaker 1: So the janitor not only sized her up, took money,
Speaker 1: went and bought a pant suit, and then helped her
Speaker 1: get into it. Yeah, he had to. He had to
Speaker 1: addressed her too. Yes, he addressed her, He dressed her yes, yes,
Speaker 1: and then put him back in the chair. Yes. You
Speaker 1: went and bought a leather coat, I got ENID sizes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: came back yes, change her outfit yes, put her back
Speaker 1: in the chair. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh man, this
Speaker 1: show is so fucking twisted nuts. Now, your first line
Speaker 1: in Doctor Acula before they ruin it and tape over
Speaker 1: it is you ain't taken no blood from my whole
Speaker 1: stop in hand, right, Yes, this had to be like
Speaker 1: this had to be something like from Hollywood Shuffle or
Speaker 1: something like that. Man. Yeah, we were clearly I mean,
Speaker 1: it was clearly influenced by Hollywood Shuffle. But if you
Speaker 1: haven't swatty all of that stuff, if you haven't seen
Speaker 1: Allywod Shuffle, we've recommended it before. But if you have
Speaker 1: seen Allywood Shuffle, this whole thing is clearly influenced by Hollywood.
Speaker 1: Absolute absolutely so, I say, for the last time, turk Blacker.
Speaker 1: And then you see that the fucking camera goes static
Speaker 1: and the tripod gets knocked over, and when it comes
Speaker 1: back on, Donald is now shirtless, shirtless with the afro
Speaker 1: wig wig on, No, no without the afrowik, shirtless without
Speaker 1: half but I and the yellow jumpsuit. Now I'm shirtless
Speaker 1: with the teeth. You know. I've seen this as a
Speaker 1: picture online and we've posted it because it's just such
Speaker 1: a funny image. But watching that was hysterical. It really was.
Speaker 1: Jad is not a very good director if his only
Speaker 1: note is for the last time Blacker. Yeah, now this
Speaker 1: at this point, we're both single at this point and
Speaker 1: so and we're about to go into the summer. I
Speaker 1: honestly thought at the end of the season, this is five, right.
Speaker 1: This is when the network started getting real tricky with
Speaker 1: us about what they wanted to do for the next season.
Speaker 1: And I remember us sweating around this time, wondering that
Speaker 1: if it was going to be over and not. There's
Speaker 1: a whole story line we haven't talked about, which is
Speaker 1: Sarah wants to dump Keith because she thinks he's whimpy
Speaker 1: and doesn't stand up for her, and then Judy snaps
Speaker 1: at her and Keith defends her, and I assumed as
Speaker 1: an audience member that Carla was doing that on purpose
Speaker 1: to try and keep her with Keith, but then we
Speaker 1: learned that no, she just she snapped. She snapped because
Speaker 1: she's got the pregnancy temper right now. Yeah, yeah, it
Speaker 1: just it all worked out for the best, as a
Speaker 1: lot of sitcoms do. I guess, um, but Todd notices
Speaker 1: two ants doing it on the F button of the computer.
Speaker 1: That was okay, and and he thinks they're they're girls. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I could have sworn, he said. And I could have
Speaker 1: sworn they were girls. They were two girls. So this
Speaker 1: comes from she leaves So Elliott leaves, uh something. What
Speaker 1: does she leave out for pancakes? Was it pancakes? Yeah,
Speaker 1: she left pants. She was trying to like meet Carlo,
Speaker 1: like her or something because they got into an argument,
Speaker 1: so she was trying to make amends and she leaves
Speaker 1: pancakes out by her computer. But they bring ants, which
Speaker 1: the ants, they attract ants all over her keyboard and
Speaker 1: then the Todd says, there's two of them doing it
Speaker 1: on the F button. And at first I could have
Speaker 1: sworn they were two girls. So stupid, that's so stupid. Um.
Speaker 1: I wanted to say that the Scrubs wiki has a
Speaker 1: little bit of a bone to pick with the whole
Speaker 1: wedding ring thing. JD's quote not being able to see
Speaker 1: married women on quote rule doesn't quite add up because
Speaker 1: he can still see Carla after she got married tasty
Speaker 1: Comba wife. While it could be argued that he can
Speaker 1: still see her because he knew her before she was married,
Speaker 1: that wouldn't explain why he couldn't see gift shop girl
Speaker 1: after she got married. Well, I don't understand he saw
Speaker 1: Tastycomba wife. He saw all of these other Okay, well, listen,
Speaker 1: we don't hold fast and true to all the rules
Speaker 1: of the show. But I just wanted to point out
Speaker 1: that someone at Scrubs Wicky I don't know if it
Speaker 1: was Trevor or one of his minions. Notice, Okay, so
Speaker 1: why does j D feel it's his business to read
Speaker 1: Kim at the end of the show, Like, like, what
Speaker 1: makes what gives JD the right to do that to her?
Speaker 1: As a matter of fact, I think Jad didn't know
Speaker 1: this thing, which I'm assuming is real because Scrubs was
Speaker 1: known as one of the most medically accurate shows ever
Speaker 1: to be made. We've been told that surgeons, young surgeons
Speaker 1: in particular, try and avoid risky operations because it will
Speaker 1: fuck up their stats as a perfect surgeon, and it
Speaker 1: will prevent them inhibit them from getting hired a bigger
Speaker 1: and better places. I'm assuming that's a real thing. We
Speaker 1: can ask doctor Penis, but um so JD I think
Speaker 1: learns that it would be bizarre that he wouldn't have
Speaker 1: heard of that before. But he sort of learns that
Speaker 1: that's a thing, and it is very disappointed in her,
Speaker 1: particularly because he's attracted to her and thinks that she's
Speaker 1: such a catch. But then he realizes that, oh, you're
Speaker 1: you're seriously not going to operate on that man, because
Speaker 1: it's risky and could affect your stats. Like he's like,
Speaker 1: you're and you're hiding out. I've been told you're hiding
Speaker 1: out with your wedding ring on and you've been divorced
Speaker 1: for a long time. And he just sort of calls
Speaker 1: around on He takes a risk to try and call
Speaker 1: a out on all her bullshit. That is a risk
Speaker 1: because that's not a his damn business too. But he's
Speaker 1: gotta on the lose, he's got the lose. He likes her. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it pays off too, I guess in the end.
Speaker 1: But I cou I couldn't see myself doing that, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like I couldn't see myself in
Speaker 1: like Joel, I'm gonna tall you something right now. I
Speaker 1: figured you out and bam in your face, walk off.
Speaker 1: It's one of those ruthless readings that winds up being
Speaker 1: it's but it's also just so honest. It's like, why
Speaker 1: are you you seem like really cool? Why are you
Speaker 1: hiding yourself? Like why are you not going the distance
Speaker 1: and really trying to like help people? Why did you
Speaker 1: get into this field in the first place. Why haven't
Speaker 1: you taken your wedding ring off? Like it is? It's
Speaker 1: super brutal, and I think could have backfired. But I
Speaker 1: also think like when you're really but when you're really
Speaker 1: interested in a person, like you want them to be
Speaker 1: their best self, right, and I think that you know
Speaker 1: you called he went all in. He went all in.
Speaker 1: It's like in poker, Donald he went all in. He's like,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say this. It might explode everything, but
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give it a try. Yeah, that's a that
Speaker 1: was a very bold move JD took. JD. That was
Speaker 1: a very bold move JD made because I don't know
Speaker 1: that I don't I don't know that I could do
Speaker 1: that in real life, where I could just be like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm gonna just tell you about yourself
Speaker 1: real quick. I'm sure you've done that in your life.
Speaker 1: Have you never gone to someone? I guess you're saying
Speaker 1: it's a virtual stranger, which is different. I'm sure people
Speaker 1: in your life you've gone. All right, listen, you need
Speaker 1: to hear this obviously. Absolutely you're saying that, the fact
Speaker 1: that it's a stranger. Yeah, dude, you didn't know who
Speaker 1: she was until she took her wedding ring off, right.
Speaker 1: I thought that was sweet how she took it off
Speaker 1: and put it in the middle of the table. I
Speaker 1: was that was I thought that was romantic. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think I think it. Uh. I think it's the beginning
Speaker 1: of how I met your mother too. What do you mean, well,
Speaker 1: she goes on spoiler alert, she goes on to have
Speaker 1: your first kids, first kid. Yeah, and we don't even
Speaker 1: have as you recall, intercourse. I believe that I ejaculate
Speaker 1: prematurely next to her beside her uh volva, clearly, clearly,
Speaker 1: clearly it was in the area of no. Do you
Speaker 1: remember there's this whole monologue where yeah, where it was,
Speaker 1: you know, it's all like war analogy where it was
Speaker 1: like there was friendly fire and the fire it's coming up. Well, well,
Speaker 1: obviously no pun intend that it's coming up. But I
Speaker 1: remember that the point is is that and this must
Speaker 1: be something that can happen, because again, why would they
Speaker 1: put in the show? But he ejaculated prematurely on the
Speaker 1: exterior of before before penetration. Yes, on the exterior of
Speaker 1: the of the vagina, which all technically what's called the volva.
Speaker 1: I thank you for that. And um, and we can
Speaker 1: ask doctor Penius if I'm right that that's called the volva.
Speaker 1: And and she still got pregnant. So JD never even
Speaker 1: to have sex with there, right, No, he did not.
Speaker 1: I don't recall if it was their first time, first
Speaker 1: and only time about to have sex, or did they
Speaker 1: have a sex life. I don't think they ever had
Speaker 1: a sex life. I think she left before, remember Joel,
Speaker 1: or don't recall. We're gonna get there. I'm sure there's
Speaker 1: lots of fans listening who know all the details better
Speaker 1: than they're yelling at. Yes, yes, a lot of times, assholes.
Speaker 1: He spoke too much weed. Stop smoking with Donald? Yeah, Donald, Um,
Speaker 1: all right, we're gonna go to break and when we
Speaker 1: come back, we'll have doctor Penis who will answer all
Speaker 1: sorts of penis and vol questions for us. We'll be
Speaker 1: right back. Oh yeah, and we're back. We're back, We're back,
Speaker 1: We're back now. Oh here he is, here he is.
Speaker 1: Let's play the get the song about the guests. An,
Speaker 1: I don't forget that song. We go. We can talk
Speaker 1: somehow dude, you know, like about smoke, some jazz, maybe
Speaker 1: talking about the episode. So come on, let's get this show.
Speaker 1: And here he is, doctor Brick. Yeah. Oh, I was
Speaker 1: so nervous because I sucked it up so many times
Speaker 1: last time. You're on now, doctor Brick. Do you mind
Speaker 1: if we call you doctor Penis because that's sort of
Speaker 1: how we branded you on the show. Yeah? No, no,
Speaker 1: I love it. I love it. Okay. Did you get
Speaker 1: a lot of good feedback from your appearance the first time?
Speaker 1: I did. I think all my friends and family really
Speaker 1: liked it. Was it was crazy. I got some random
Speaker 1: texts from some doctors that I knew that were like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm big, Like I've listened to the Scrubs podcast and
Speaker 1: all of a sudden they're talking about this guy and
Speaker 1: he sounds and it's you, and I'm like, so it was,
Speaker 1: it was, it was pretty cool. Well, doctor Brick, we'd
Speaker 1: really want to make you a regular set segment on
Speaker 1: the show because Donald and I often have penis questions
Speaker 1: and they're just just an infinite number of penis questions,
Speaker 1: right Donald, they just well it just goes on forever. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know you're saying in the other day that, um,
Speaker 1: can you have too much penis? And I I don't
Speaker 1: think you can, Like, like you know, I I to
Speaker 1: Zach told you, I told you no sing well no, wait,
Speaker 1: calm down. I've seen, accidentally, I have seen some videos
Speaker 1: on the Internet where it accidentally where it appears that
Speaker 1: the gentleman can't the woman can't accommodate the full length
Speaker 1: of the man. The gentleman can't know the woman cannot
Speaker 1: accommodate the man's full gift. And I wonder, um, if
Speaker 1: that's if that's come up in your practice, if any
Speaker 1: patients have have said doctor, what do we do in
Speaker 1: this situation? Um, I haven't seen it. I was actually
Speaker 1: I I I've seen that in a Niptuck episode for
Speaker 1: but um, there was one of my staff told me
Speaker 1: that he heard that once of one person that came
Speaker 1: that was complaining that his penis was was too big.
Speaker 1: What do you want to do? Are there people that
Speaker 1: get penis? Like you see? We see billboards out here
Speaker 1: in LA and and and actually that it doesn't exist.
Speaker 1: There's no way you can. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. He
Speaker 1: was in New Jersey. I saw a billboard for breast reduction,
Speaker 1: and I wondered if if there was such a thing
Speaker 1: as penis reduction, as anyone ever said, I bet you
Speaker 1: can cut it off, But I bet you can't make
Speaker 1: it grow. Dude, there's no way cut it down. Can't
Speaker 1: make it grow? No, no, I let the doctor answer, doctor,
Speaker 1: penis can't. The only time we would actually like really
Speaker 1: cut it down is if someone has like like cancer
Speaker 1: of the penis, and then you need to cut it
Speaker 1: um and can still be functioning. So you're saying you, you, you, you, you,
Speaker 1: you'd cut off the cancerous part, the tumor or whatever. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But then the but the penis can still function. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you can kind of create use some like a
Speaker 1: skin flap and you can to create what looks like
Speaker 1: the head of the penis. And if there's for peeing,
Speaker 1: it can definitely still function. And for intercourse, um, I
Speaker 1: mean it's still sensitive. I don't know. I don't know
Speaker 1: how how functional be. I guess it depends if you
Speaker 1: can still achieve an erection, now, doctor Penis. One thing
Speaker 1: I wanted to ask you was when we were kids
Speaker 1: growing up, their Reebok did this campaign where there was
Speaker 1: a pump pump, pump, pump pump it remember those Donalds
Speaker 1: And I don't know why no sneaker brand has gone
Speaker 1: back to this because it was jeez, I don't know why.
Speaker 1: And then Nike had their own version, but it wasn't
Speaker 1: as cool. Do you remember it was in the time
Speaker 1: those of you were too those pump wasn't pump was
Speaker 1: in the tongue everybody I had him, I had him.
Speaker 1: Did you have what was the purpose? What we say
Speaker 1: it would make? It was like it was like it
Speaker 1: would tighten the air air pumps in there and it
Speaker 1: would it would tighten the ankle around her. And the
Speaker 1: campaign was pump, pump, pump, pump, pump it up. Now,
Speaker 1: can you do that with japenis? Yeah, I know. What
Speaker 1: I'm saying is my question is for you, aren't there
Speaker 1: some men who have a rectile dysfunction in a medical way,
Speaker 1: not a mental mental way, And isn't there something where
Speaker 1: they can it's nearby where they can pump, pump, pump
Speaker 1: it up? Tell us about that. So yeah, no, that's
Speaker 1: like the one of the final steps. Or I mean
Speaker 1: some people do it quickly when they have erectile dysfunction
Speaker 1: and they either can't tolerate medications or the medications aren't working,
Speaker 1: or they don't want to take viagro that kind of thing.
Speaker 1: There's also injections you can do, and it's a surgery
Speaker 1: where you in the two erectile bodies that cause the
Speaker 1: erections are essentially balloons that fill with blood. We put
Speaker 1: in cylinders that can fill with fluid and cause an erection,
Speaker 1: and so the fluid there's a little reservoir that we
Speaker 1: put in kind of like behind the pubic bone, and
Speaker 1: that's filled with salt water essentially, and there's a tube
Speaker 1: that goes to a pump that we put in the scrotum,
Speaker 1: So it's it's you could say, you know, it's it's
Speaker 1: similar size as your testicle, So you essentially have another
Speaker 1: kind of what a woman? What a woman? If a
Speaker 1: man was doing this, um, could he feasibly hide this
Speaker 1: from a partner and her not know that he was Pump, pump, pump, pump,
Speaker 1: pump it up. Um, that is a good question. It's
Speaker 1: I mean, your hand. You will never get an erection normally,
Speaker 1: so you always like, once you have this, your only
Speaker 1: way you can get an direction is with the pump.
Speaker 1: So like if you are doing you know, if you're
Speaker 1: fooling around what and what have you, and then you
Speaker 1: you're pumping it up on your own and the woman
Speaker 1: is not paying attention. Maybe, but um, woman is familiar
Speaker 1: with what a penis feels like, then they're they're not
Speaker 1: gonna Can you pump it up just to pump it
Speaker 1: up even if you don't have but even if you
Speaker 1: don't have like erect out this function, can't you just
Speaker 1: be like, I'm just gonna pump this bad way one
Speaker 1: of those if you don't have erected out this function,
Speaker 1: well you don't get there. You don't get the salt
Speaker 1: water and everything, but you get like a penis pump
Speaker 1: and pump, oh that kind of thing. Yeah, it's funny
Speaker 1: that you're asking that because for like a secrets anything.
Speaker 1: One of my friends got another one a penis pump,
Speaker 1: and in urology, you that's another thing you can use
Speaker 1: for like it's a vacuum device that kind of like
Speaker 1: you pump to like bring more blood into the penis.
Speaker 1: And you know, what, what what what? What website to you?
Speaker 1: If I thought, I mean you want mean, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you just just google it, you know, if I'll have
Speaker 1: Joel Joel's Google's sorry already so fucked up. We put
Speaker 1: all that shit on her Google. If I had a
Speaker 1: relationship with a website, I would, I would, I would
Speaker 1: tout them. But you could probably find it on any website,
Speaker 1: but we recommend and it's in a vacuum a vacuum
Speaker 1: rectile device that you essentially, I'm like trying to show it.
Speaker 1: You don't see my lower area. You put it kind
Speaker 1: of over the penis and it kind of like suctions
Speaker 1: down around the base of the penis. You pump, pump, pump,
Speaker 1: and it essentially creates that pressure that brings more blood
Speaker 1: to the penis and then you put a ring over
Speaker 1: the base of the penis, essentially hold blood in there.
Speaker 1: I think people probably do it to achieve maybe more
Speaker 1: rigidity if they're not happy with what they are, or
Speaker 1: but other people use it for, you know, as a
Speaker 1: management of their own or do you think that this
Speaker 1: is a question I wanted to ask you. Like sealis
Speaker 1: and viagra, they were invented for people function and senior
Speaker 1: citizens cannot enjoy sex life much later in life, which
Speaker 1: is great. Um, do you think that more people who
Speaker 1: are younger should experiment with it because they might say, hey,
Speaker 1: I've always had like a seventy nine percent hard on,
Speaker 1: but then you try the medicine, all of a sudden
Speaker 1: you've got this like fucking glass fun. Yeah, and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I never knew I could have a fucking thor's hammer. Yeah. No,
Speaker 1: it's that's a good question. I think that What are
Speaker 1: your thoughts on that? I think younger people? Yeah? And
Speaker 1: is it safe? Also, that's the problem. Well, no, it's
Speaker 1: not necessarily always let doctor penis, and again you don't
Speaker 1: know if you're getting it from like the black market
Speaker 1: or a drug dealer, Probably not safe. I think that
Speaker 1: from for people who have maybe issues with directions from
Speaker 1: a psychological perspective, which is a totally reasonable issue that
Speaker 1: many men have. And I think it's becoming probably possibly
Speaker 1: even maybe more aware or maybe a bigger issue unclear
Speaker 1: um taking or being prescribed. You know, a medication like
Speaker 1: vigor sialis that kind of thing um can first help
Speaker 1: your erections as needed and and then can also then
Speaker 1: looost your confidence that hopefully you can then potentially achieve erections.
Speaker 1: It's like a mind for a lot of people don't realize.
Speaker 1: I'm guessing is that you know you hear about viagara
Speaker 1: and say, allis it's been a joke for so long, oh,
Speaker 1: senior citizens or or people with a medical problem. You know,
Speaker 1: people don't know that it's often overcoming a mental issue
Speaker 1: where they've gotten in their head. It's like and then no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: it actually does work. But it sounds like what he's
Speaker 1: saying is there's a lot of people who they can't
Speaker 1: get in direction and it's not a physical problem. It's
Speaker 1: they're in their head. They have they have performance anxiety.
Speaker 1: It's like then what he called it a vicious cycle,
Speaker 1: vicious cycle, and what he's saying is those people can
Speaker 1: get their confidence back with the viagra or say Alice
Speaker 1: and then be able to tiptoe off of it lower
Speaker 1: and lower doses. Right possibly, Yeah, And I mean obviously
Speaker 1: you know, if you're if there are those issues, seeing
Speaker 1: a psychologist who specialize in sex therapy kind of thing
Speaker 1: could also be helpful. Um, but eurologist works off in
Speaker 1: hand to hand. Yeah. I mean, I don't want people
Speaker 1: people who are listening to this and going, oh, that
Speaker 1: might be something from you look into. They should They
Speaker 1: can just talk to their urologists or their doctor about it, right.
Speaker 1: They don't have to go to you know, they don't
Speaker 1: have to You don't have to fail. But you can
Speaker 1: definitely find these kind of meds I've I mean I've
Speaker 1: heard from drug dealers or I mean those things that
Speaker 1: you see and like you don't find that have like, oh,
Speaker 1: will boost your erections kind of thing. Those honestly probably
Speaker 1: have some dose of the medication that are made that
Speaker 1: don't even know how it's manufactured. So probably not the
Speaker 1: healthiest way to go about it. No, I don't do
Speaker 1: it that way. To talk to your doctor about it.
Speaker 1: If you've got a penis problem, talk to your doctor
Speaker 1: here at fake doctors are advices. Don't buy the gas station. Shit, No, there,
Speaker 1: I saw, I saw a study. They even those medications
Speaker 1: have the generic forms of viagran salis and you know
Speaker 1: those medic the viagra sales, those kind of things can
Speaker 1: interact with other meds that you're taking. You might if
Speaker 1: you're ready taking it, you may have two high of
Speaker 1: a dose. So it's it's not regulated. That's that's that's
Speaker 1: the biggest problem. Got it. Um, So it's not advised
Speaker 1: to take you don't need it. Um, yeah, I wouldn't.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't take it if you don't need it. But also, um,
Speaker 1: last time, you use the term for the amount of
Speaker 1: the time before you can go again? No, no, no,
Speaker 1: when the amount of time before you can go again?
Speaker 1: What's that? Oh yeah, oh yeah, I'm your term was
Speaker 1: like your reset the something I forgot. Anyway, the point
Speaker 1: is is that it also enables you to be right
Speaker 1: back at it. M hm oh, Donald, I imagine you
Speaker 1: don't have that problem. But some men, some men might
Speaker 1: have a problem where they they would love to go
Speaker 1: again and they need a reset time fractory period, refractory
Speaker 1: period factory. Remember that from our first lesson with doctors.
Speaker 1: You get older, you're a fractory period actually gets longer.
Speaker 1: So if that medication is helping you in your there
Speaker 1: you go. So let's say you're a let's say Donald case.
Speaker 1: He's like and um, and you're like, oh, that turned
Speaker 1: me on. I wish I could go again and I
Speaker 1: had a sort a shorter refractory period, then then the
Speaker 1: medicine would be right for you. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, when
Speaker 1: you're a teenager, you could probably just you know, go
Speaker 1: over and overall over. Yeah, I remember, I remember when
Speaker 1: you're a teenager. You're like, what about when your forty
Speaker 1: uh seven? Yeah, but you're a rare case. You're either case.
Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with that, right, Like, this is what
Speaker 1: I fear. This is what I fear, and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be honest with you right now. This is what I fear.
Speaker 1: I have a libido that's like through the roof right now.
Speaker 1: I fear that one day out of nowhere, that shit
Speaker 1: just goes away. I don't see it happening. Okay, I
Speaker 1: don't know anyone doctor with of any age. Well I'm
Speaker 1: discounting teenagers who are going through puberty, but who has
Speaker 1: the libido that this forty seven year old man has,
Speaker 1: and I just uh mozeltov to him. But I don't
Speaker 1: think you should feel any shame or weirdness about it.
Speaker 1: I don't feel any shame about it. I just worry that, Yeah.
Speaker 1: I just think you should be ready that you'll have
Speaker 1: it in forty years from now when you're eighty seven
Speaker 1: or word like, I'm gonna keep it one hundred. My grandfather, man,
Speaker 1: he's ninety something right now, dude. I remember, so he
Speaker 1: came out here to La when he was in his
Speaker 1: late seventies, right, and he came out to visit me.
Speaker 1: I was in my twin or something like that, my
Speaker 1: late my mid twenties, I was, And he came out
Speaker 1: and I took him all around scrubs was happening already.
Speaker 1: I took him all around Hollywood. I took him to
Speaker 1: the club, I took him to the strip club. I
Speaker 1: took him like everywhere. My grandfather, my eight almost eighty something,
Speaker 1: your old grandfather, right, And I remember being like, I
Speaker 1: remember being like grandpa, does any you know? We went
Speaker 1: out one night and somebody was dancing on him and everything,
Speaker 1: and he was having a good old time, and I
Speaker 1: was like, Grandpa, did you feel any of this? He
Speaker 1: was like, oh boy. And I was like, wait, grandpa,
Speaker 1: you don't want to hear from your grandpa. Listen. I
Speaker 1: don't know, man, Most old people that I know they're like,
Speaker 1: it's been a few years. No. I mean there's there
Speaker 1: there's studies about like testosterone levels kind of slowly decreasing
Speaker 1: as you get older, and I think that's where the
Speaker 1: mindset is from. But first of all, if you're actually
Speaker 1: of an age where your testosterone is low, but and
Speaker 1: that's your symptom that you're libidos though, and you want
Speaker 1: your libido to come back to what it was, there
Speaker 1: are tests, you can get testosterone treatment, which honestly is
Speaker 1: a whole other topic for misuse of testosterone in people,
Speaker 1: But it's testosterone the key thing that's affecting libio. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's probably a number of things. I think that's kind
Speaker 1: of what a lot of people hold their head on. Um.
Speaker 1: It could be other health related issues as people get older,
Speaker 1: they just have heart, lung, you know, all all kinds
Speaker 1: of other issues that can kind of just make you
Speaker 1: less interested. Um, But I mean I think on the whole,
Speaker 1: you know, as men and women it's not just men,
Speaker 1: Like your libido can remain unchanged, and you could and
Speaker 1: both genders can. Well, I'm sure somewhere Casey's in the
Speaker 1: other room praying that it eventually goes down. No, I
Speaker 1: don't know that she's praying that it eventually goes down.
Speaker 1: But I definitely, I definitely. You know, like I was told,
Speaker 1: you know, you you hear all of these stories. You
Speaker 1: hear the story that as men get older, their libidos
Speaker 1: go away, and as women get older, their libido increases,
Speaker 1: and you know, yeah, I find that to not be
Speaker 1: true so yetally totally in Donald's situation, that doesn't need
Speaker 1: to be true. Yeah, I think, all right, let's try
Speaker 1: a new question. Um, is it possible? There are some
Speaker 1: internet stories where a woman had sex with two different men,
Speaker 1: one was white and one was black, very close together.
Speaker 1: Perhaps it was a threesome, whatever, there were two eggs
Speaker 1: in the chamber, if you will, and she got pregnant
Speaker 1: with twins and one was white and one black. Is
Speaker 1: that is that feasible? I could? I remember my wife
Speaker 1: telling me this story of something. I could not believe it,
Speaker 1: and I've I've never seen it in real life. I
Speaker 1: saw it on like a weird but strange but true
Speaker 1: in your post kind of kind of deal there you strange, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but um, yeah, I've seen I've I've read it, but
Speaker 1: I don't. I wish we could, like, is there like
Speaker 1: why can't this happen? My question is why can't this happen?
Speaker 1: Is there like a freaking Hunger Games event inside the uterus?
Speaker 1: The first fighting? No, I'm in this one, you can't,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like, how does so? Because
Speaker 1: normally women when they ovulate, they ovulate one egg that
Speaker 1: goes into their uterus, and when you ejaculate sperm its
Speaker 1: millions of sperm, no doubt, right, and so this so
Speaker 1: this it's kind of maybe more maybe more ye feelings
Speaker 1: but no, but then it's survival of the fittest. The
Speaker 1: sperm gets into the Yeah, but sometimes there's twins. But
Speaker 1: sometimes there's twins though, right, well, we were saying, I know,
Speaker 1: but what we were saying is what if the two
Speaker 1: dudes combine their strength together. He's implying, he's implying if
Speaker 1: it was a double tub penetratuation and they both time
Speaker 1: at the same time there, and they time their ejaculation
Speaker 1: at the same time, and hid one three two one,
Speaker 1: and they both fights serendipitous two eggs in there, bam bam, clearly,
Speaker 1: clearly it's possible. It's just like super duper rare because
Speaker 1: we could do it because you'd have to have ovulated
Speaker 1: to eggs, like I said, which already is not common.
Speaker 1: And but sometimes sometimes sometimes to finish photo last thing,
Speaker 1: sometimes two sperms can penetrate one egg. Though no, then
Speaker 1: that act so right when the one sperm penetrates the egg,
Speaker 1: the egg kind of has forms a reaction that it
Speaker 1: doesn't allow. It's like a like a four seal. It
Speaker 1: doesn't have any other sperm to hit it. So that's
Speaker 1: why so different from and and and uh and maternal
Speaker 1: identical maternal and identical. No, but that's that's that's later.
Speaker 1: That's to get identical twins is when the embryo kind
Speaker 1: of splits into two and creates that someone with twins.
Speaker 1: You should find on that. Okay, here we go, Um,
Speaker 1: we have another I don't know much, Okay, I love you.
Speaker 1: The word come is that something that is ever said
Speaker 1: in the medical community or is that a word that
Speaker 1: should not be Is that sort of slang? And do
Speaker 1: you use words in your office, like ejaculate or do
Speaker 1: you ever say empty empty? Do you ever find yourself
Speaker 1: like talking to a patient and being like so when
Speaker 1: you bust your next nut? Or do you or do
Speaker 1: you have to keep it serious? And that that is
Speaker 1: a good question, and that's I think that's why why
Speaker 1: training is so long, because I in my mind, you
Speaker 1: need to actively think about what the correct terms are
Speaker 1: that are respectful for the patient. First of all, right,
Speaker 1: it's not just with sex, right, I mean it's like
Speaker 1: anything um where you want to use respectful terms to
Speaker 1: not well, what if they come out do you read
Speaker 1: the room? Like what if they called me? Say? What
Speaker 1: if they come into like doc? Every time I bust
Speaker 1: the nut, I cannot then be like I would use
Speaker 1: on professional terms. Is when like my friends are calling
Speaker 1: me asking me yea erology or sex things, then I'll
Speaker 1: be like, then I'll say, I think I can be
Speaker 1: a little less professional. I don't want I don't even
Speaker 1: want to. Hyeah, it sounds like sounds weird, but I
Speaker 1: do think it's funny though, if you matched like you
Speaker 1: have some nerdy guy coming like, yeah, I'm having some
Speaker 1: ejaculation issues and then you address them and then I'm
Speaker 1: Donald coming. Yeah, when I'm what does it mean when
Speaker 1: fire shoot out my dick? Let me get Let me
Speaker 1: get this straight. You're getting a burning sensation every time
Speaker 1: you ejaculate. No, Doc, fire shoots out my dick. This
Speaker 1: should be yours. I would burst the flames shoots out
Speaker 1: my dick every time I peek, can't. I would watch
Speaker 1: the stop motion video of that character Alabama. Jackson's probably
Speaker 1: gonna get some sort of porn made into it. Oh
Speaker 1: please God, Yes, thank you for a shout out, Doctor Penis.
Speaker 1: Thank you for a shout out. Um. Do you have
Speaker 1: any other questions for doctor Brick Donald while we have him?
Speaker 1: I have several questions, Dannel. Do you have any questions
Speaker 1: for Doctor Bricker? But I want to save it for
Speaker 1: next time. Dan. Come on, Daniel, you don't have to
Speaker 1: be shy. It feels like you're really you're You're like
Speaker 1: in the fetal position. Are we embarrassing you in front
Speaker 1: of Doctor Brick? You're a part of this show too,
Speaker 1: unlike when you're doing The New Girl. Yeah, I know
Speaker 1: this isn't gonna be on The New Girl. When you
Speaker 1: do that podcast, they're probably not going to have Doctor
Speaker 1: Penis and they're not going to ask you questions either,
Speaker 1: so you know, take this, take advantage of it, but none.
Speaker 1: Since Joel's the producer, they'll probably copy us. And now
Speaker 1: here's doctor Vagina. Oh well, first off, shout out doctor
Speaker 1: Brick on that awesome sweatshirt you are wearing. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much for the brand. Thank you so much. And
Speaker 1: while you're in the house, doctor Brick is wearing a
Speaker 1: mercer but he has an NYU and I'm wrapping my
Speaker 1: ny I am we're wearing my Northwestern shirt college. Um.
Speaker 1: I didn't go to college. Sorry, um, Joel, do you
Speaker 1: have any questions from a female point of view for
Speaker 1: for an expert like this? I will think of some
Speaker 1: for next time questions. All right, doctor, my wife had
Speaker 1: a good name for the podcast or or or whatever.
Speaker 1: Your what is it? What is it? P time with
Speaker 1: doctor Penis? Wow time. I'm like, wow, I'm trying to
Speaker 1: think we got him? Is there anything else you want
Speaker 1: to ask? Are you thinking? I just want to point
Speaker 1: out and buy back to my left over here. I
Speaker 1: have the sex gong and also uh the tiki tiki torch.
Speaker 1: Last one of my good friends got me both of
Speaker 1: those things that he has. He has them also, so
Speaker 1: you know it's a good stuff. Well, we love that
Speaker 1: you're a mega fan, and we're a mega fan of yours.
Speaker 1: And thank you for answering all of our penis questions.
Speaker 1: Uh um, Donald, anything else you want to say? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so there is nothing out there that can make it big? Right? Yeah? No, no, nothing,
Speaker 1: I mean, but it's it's not all about that, right,
Speaker 1: like it's about speak for yourself, doc. No, just kidding, No,
Speaker 1: I'm telling you it's like, you know, why would you
Speaker 1: want to go bigger? You're like a guy with a
Speaker 1: like a triple XL And no I'm not talking listen, listen.
Speaker 1: I think any guy who watches porn will it's a
Speaker 1: mind fuck first of all. So you know, but these
Speaker 1: men have been chosen because they have absolutely I think, abolutely.
Speaker 1: But if you watch that shit, you get caught up
Speaker 1: in I don't look like that, right, Well, what about
Speaker 1: those men who have been really born with a micro penis?
Speaker 1: Uh like a really really tiny tiny nothing? Nothing is
Speaker 1: there anything that can be done for those those men?
Speaker 1: I mean they're usually have seen like a pediatric urologist
Speaker 1: when they're kids, and there are surgeries that you can
Speaker 1: do because the more. The bigger issue is for is
Speaker 1: um kind of it's oftentimes with prip um like you're
Speaker 1: urinating and those kind of things as a kid, because
Speaker 1: the whole often is not at the tip. And patients
Speaker 1: who have um like small phallusis so you know there
Speaker 1: you can actually give them some testosterone which can help.
Speaker 1: But there are surgeries that you can kind of do
Speaker 1: and that can make it look more normal as they grow. Um,
Speaker 1: it should grow um. That's kind of there's the show Dave. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, that's what he has. So he is he
Speaker 1: is this thing where he has to I don't know
Speaker 1: if he fixed it or not, but he had to
Speaker 1: he had to hold he had to cover a hole
Speaker 1: in order for it to pee through the uine through right.
Speaker 1: So and he describes it he has it's it's called hypospadias.
Speaker 1: So if my finger is a penis, usually the hole
Speaker 1: is at the tip. It can have the whole can
Speaker 1: kind of be at any point, Oh my god, long
Speaker 1: penis that you're born with, and the the closer to
Speaker 1: the tip it is kind of the less severe. I
Speaker 1: don't know where his hole was, but it was somewhere.
Speaker 1: Ye As often these are treated as as when you're
Speaker 1: an infant or a child, which is a whole other
Speaker 1: separate issue about intersects development issues, and right, let's not
Speaker 1: go down that road. But I'm saying, but that sounds fixing.
Speaker 1: But why why wouldn't someone like that fixed. One of
Speaker 1: the complications is that it kind of reopens. And I
Speaker 1: think what happened him is that it reopened and to
Speaker 1: fix it it would be a more extensive surgery, and
Speaker 1: he didn't want to do that, and so he just
Speaker 1: holds his finger. Said, from what it sounds like on
Speaker 1: the TV show, if he holds his finger over that hole,
Speaker 1: then the p will come out the normal hole instead
Speaker 1: of wow wow. I kind of wanted to see it.
Speaker 1: They talked about it so much on the show. I
Speaker 1: thought that I and the show is so graphic. I
Speaker 1: thought they were going to cut to it. No, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's in training. We've I've done so many surgeries, like
Speaker 1: the primary surgery and even the like the repair of
Speaker 1: that company. What if Donald wanted to add a second
Speaker 1: hole on purpose? Would he be I want to get
Speaker 1: back to I want to what does that? But what
Speaker 1: does that? Does that do anything for you? Though? Does
Speaker 1: that make anything better? Like? You know what I mean, like,
Speaker 1: what's the point of doing these things? No, you don't
Speaker 1: need a second it's percing. I don't know, Like, what's
Speaker 1: the point of getting it if it doesn't make sex better?
Speaker 1: That's on our new merch that's coming to you. She'll
Speaker 1: talk like why why would I don't know anyway. Anyway, anyway,
Speaker 1: doctor Brick, thank you so much for your time, Thanks
Speaker 1: for being a fan. And uh, we really we hope
Speaker 1: you'll come back and join us, and by then, hopefully
Speaker 1: we'll have a theme song for you. That would be amazing.
Speaker 1: That'll amazing, all right, the thunder's applause for Doctor Brick
Speaker 1: slash Doctor Penis, thank you so much. That would be
Speaker 1: that all right. I think that's it, guys. I think
Speaker 1: we did it. We did we did it. Not only
Speaker 1: did we not only did we do it. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be honest with you. I felt a little rusty, Yeah,
Speaker 1: a little rusty, coming back to it. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: lie to you. You guys got one more episode in
Speaker 1: season five and then it's time for season six, and
Speaker 1: goodness knows what that will bring. I mean, there's an
Speaker 1: amazing there's so much good urology stuff that's coming doctor Brick,
Speaker 1: we we gave you your exit appause you're not really
Speaker 1: supposed to be talking. But he's right. Turk's nut Turks. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll have you back on when we talk about the
Speaker 1: turks special nut. He has a bionic nut, pretty and
Speaker 1: it gives off heat when we go camping. Remember we
Speaker 1: gather around your nut that's bionic. You know, would that
Speaker 1: be bionic? Because because it's I don't know, I don't know. Well,
Speaker 1: we'll just well, don't don't don't tell us, doctor Brick
Speaker 1: will say. Then you don't ever hear about implants like
Speaker 1: he's not talking anymore. We've given him all right, everybody,
Speaker 1: we love you, Thanks for tuning in. We'll see you
Speaker 1: next time. Donald six, we made about a bunch of
Speaker 1: doctor nurses and the janitor who I said, he's the
Speaker 1: stories nevere. All should go. So gather around you, here
Speaker 1: are gather around you, here are sc free watch your
Speaker 1: winds at the time. Mm hmmmm