Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that loves love, and he has
Speaker 1: seventeen dollars to buy himself some tonight. So texted seven
Speaker 1: eighty five nine two tell him where he can find
Speaker 1: some cheap love. Hey, right here, It's Laser Stories, the
Speaker 1: segment where we read weird news stories around the globe,
Speaker 1: just like everyone else does. Accept we have a laser
Speaker 1: and those other dumble Bee tunas just don't. His first
Speaker 1: Laser Stories. Out of Ontario, California. Three years ago, a
Speaker 1: thirty year old city employee named Griselda Perez walked into
Speaker 1: an AMPM convenience store and was caught on surveillance video
Speaker 1: slipping a two dollars ninety nine cent energy bar into
Speaker 1: her pocket and never paying fortune. Maybe she's set herself
Speaker 1: up for the joke. Is that an energy bar in
Speaker 1: your bucket? Even though the video was considered inconclusive, the
Speaker 1: owner turned it over to the city, and instead of
Speaker 1: giving Griselda a warning, they paid an entire private legal
Speaker 1: team to go after her kidding a two dollars ninety
Speaker 1: nine Of course they spends their money good things. She
Speaker 1: was awake for it. This is a city employee that
Speaker 1: they wanted to make an example of yeah, because after
Speaker 1: three years they racked up a bill of one hundred
Speaker 1: and thirty three thousand dollars in legal feed over one
Speaker 1: hundred thirty grand to go after an employee who may
Speaker 1: or may not have stolen a three dollar energy bart
Speaker 1: then must feel so good to pay those taxes. In
Speaker 1: the end, they finally had their day in court and
Speaker 1: a judge found that the theft had not been proved.
Speaker 1: That and they ordered the city council to reinstate Griselda.
Speaker 1: Does anyone else feel like we need a statue of
Speaker 1: city Hall because that's amazing sponsorship. She is like some
Speaker 1: sort of heroes. Not only were they ordered to give
Speaker 1: her her job back, but they were also forced to
Speaker 1: reinstate her with back pay for the last brilliant That
Speaker 1: is so good. Oh my gosh, that's tens of thousands
Speaker 1: at least little vacation. Yeah, there's somebody still in city
Speaker 1: Hall going worth it. Yeah. Their stories out of Ireland.
Speaker 1: Twenty eight year old woman named Jess Taylor recently bought
Speaker 1: a used couch with her boyfriend because their dog ruined
Speaker 1: their old one. They didn't want anything too nice because
Speaker 1: they would just probably get trashed, right, So They went
Speaker 1: to a secondhand store and they ended up with a
Speaker 1: tann and Brown two seater, but they didn't find out
Speaker 1: what came with the couch until they lost their remote.
Speaker 1: He didn't clean it before you run? Yeah, Well, Jess's
Speaker 1: boyfriend reached down in between the cushions to look for
Speaker 1: it and felt something weird. God, next story. He pulled
Speaker 1: his hand back out and realized he was holding an
Speaker 1: entire handful of fingernails. I don't know what I thought
Speaker 1: you're gonna say, but not that bad. It turns out
Speaker 1: the couch was filled with thousands of hotly and there
Speaker 1: are plenty of toenails in there too. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: And Jose is saying this as he piles his fingernails
Speaker 1: in piles on his piece of paper next to it.
Speaker 1: I do. I throw them away every day. I don't
Speaker 1: know that. I don't see it. You may be putting
Speaker 1: you don't meet the first So someone was obviously disposing
Speaker 1: of them in there, but it could have been multiple
Speaker 1: people doing it. Oh my, oh my god. Luck for
Speaker 1: the couple. They were into it and spent the entire
Speaker 1: rest of the night sorting in categorizing them for their
Speaker 1: nail scrap of collection. That's a lie, John, I gotta
Speaker 1: get better out there. They were grossed out by it too,
Speaker 1: but not disgusted enough to toss out the couch. In fact,
Speaker 1: they kept it up. They vacuum the rest of the
Speaker 1: nails out, and Jen says there were so many it
Speaker 1: sounded like she was vacuuming uncooked rice. Oh, I mean
Speaker 1: happy ending. I never pour rice into a pot and
Speaker 1: take the same Let's go to your next This next
Speaker 1: one's out of Build a Bear Central. Now, I honestly
Speaker 1: don't know how to feel about this. I'm actually I'm
Speaker 1: a little bit uncomfortable reading this headline. But it says
Speaker 1: Build a Bear launches after dark series of Teddy Bears
Speaker 1: only for adults. That's right, giving us horny teddy bears. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what are those batteries for they have to put in
Speaker 1: your building bear? Well? The Builder Bear website asks who
Speaker 1: sent stuffed animals were just for the kids? They did not.
Speaker 1: Why should they get to have all the fun? I agree,
Speaker 1: build I mean rob company to do this anybody else, like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I love going to that place features
Speaker 1: a picture of as Teddy Bear with a lion's mane
Speaker 1: and a silk robe lying on a shag carpet with
Speaker 1: a single rose and two glasses of wine. Oh, it's
Speaker 1: pretty clear with this bear's intentions. I don't know, but
Speaker 1: this this bear just roared it. Yeah. The bears range
Speaker 1: from PG to PG thirteen, so don't worry too much
Speaker 1: about it. Here's some of the options. There's a topless
Speaker 1: bear in only boxers with a huge heart around his head.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that male. Yeah, that very big set of boxers.
Speaker 1: It'd be pretty funny if there is a bear with
Speaker 1: boobs though. Yeah. Well, they do have a female bear
Speaker 1: in heels holding a bottle of wine and a wineglass
Speaker 1: with a shirt on that reads it's wine O clock
Speaker 1: somewhere that picture, it's not Brooks bear that bears wearing clothes. Finally,
Speaker 1: for the gen Zers, there's a bear in pajamas and
Speaker 1: red fluffy slippers holding a mixed berry Seltzer. And that's
Speaker 1: a berry I'd cuddle. So if you're wondering, you could
Speaker 1: purchase any and all of these at the gift shop
Speaker 1: on the Build a Bear website. This next laser stories
Speaker 1: out of the world of Words. I like this world. Well,
Speaker 1: we found a list of phrases that supposedly make you
Speaker 1: sound unprofessional at work, and luckily there's also suggestions for
Speaker 1: what you should say instead. Okay, so see if you're
Speaker 1: guilty of saying any of these. Here's the top three.
Speaker 1: Number three is does that make sense? Experts say that
Speaker 1: phrase is highly unprofessional. Instead try what are your thoughts?
Speaker 1: Or I'd like to hear your input on this. I
Speaker 1: don't want to hear their input, I want them, I say.
Speaker 1: Number two is quote sorry to bother you. If you
Speaker 1: use this phrase, apparently you sound old and lazy. Okay,
Speaker 1: Instead they suggest saying excuse me, that makes you sound cultural?
Speaker 1: Excuse them wash? Is that better? Is more cultured for you? Finally,
Speaker 1: the number one most unprofessional thing to say at work
Speaker 1: is if you know what I mean? Oh? I say
Speaker 1: all of it. Yeah, I was gonna say I think
Speaker 1: so too. Apparently, experts say, if you say that, you
Speaker 1: sound dumb and uneducated. Not What to say instead is nothing.
Speaker 1: Don't say anything. This is all unnecessary filler. Just say
Speaker 1: exactly what you need and that. Don't like that. In fact,
Speaker 1: I say, just let your actions speak louder than words.
Speaker 1: I don't know that that's appropriate place. What does his
Speaker 1: actions say to you right now telling me he's all
Speaker 1: business and that sound means Ways of Stories has come
Speaker 1: to an end for the day. We'll do it against
Speaker 1: same time on Wednesday,