Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's just announced he's launching a
Speaker 1: new airline to compete with the big boys. Zero carbon emissions,
Speaker 1: no gas, no electricity. It'll be the first human size
Speaker 1: paper plane fleet. He's looking for volunteers and one really
Speaker 1: strong guy to throw them all. Okay, depending on when
Speaker 1: I think they wait too much to be on that
Speaker 1: pla Madrid. There we go. It's Laser Stories, the segment
Speaker 1: where we read weird new stories around the globe, just
Speaker 1: like everyone else does, except we have a laser and
Speaker 1: those other mustache snatchers just don't. This first Laser Stories
Speaker 1: out of Nassau County, New York, forty one year old
Speaker 1: Juan Hernandez was in a convenience store recently when he
Speaker 1: decided he was going to purchase a couple of lottery tickets,
Speaker 1: and not just any old ones. These were titled the
Speaker 1: three hundred and fifty million Cash Scratch Spectacular. Did they
Speaker 1: just go through a thesaurus and just keep adding words
Speaker 1: to the title. Yeah, Yeah, the more words, the cooler
Speaker 1: it sounds. Okay, So one took him to his car,
Speaker 1: and in the blink of an eye, his life changed
Speaker 1: because he found out he was the grand prize winner
Speaker 1: of ten million dollars. Wait, I'm sorry, the grand prize
Speaker 1: is ten million and that wasn't in the title of
Speaker 1: the scratch ticket at all. That's a good point. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like their marketing, their marketing team needs to come back people.
Speaker 1: So how did he react. He started up his vehicle
Speaker 1: and drove straight to lottery headquarters, as you should. He
Speaker 1: didn't even need a map because one had actually been
Speaker 1: there before. What I was gonna say, I don't even
Speaker 1: don't tell me. A few years ago, he won the
Speaker 1: top prize from a different scratch off ticket, where he
Speaker 1: also took home another ten million dollars. Afterwards, he was
Speaker 1: and saying he's surprised that he won, and it's actually
Speaker 1: a little bit of a burden because he's still trying
Speaker 1: to spend the ten million that he won three years ago.
Speaker 1: I want them is he like win and he's like God,
Speaker 1: act like he's been here before. Okay. As rare and
Speaker 1: difficult as it seems to win the lottery twice, it
Speaker 1: has happened before. In October twenty twenty one, a retired
Speaker 1: utility worker from Maryland won a two million dollar lottery
Speaker 1: prize for the second time. While women in North Carolina
Speaker 1: and Missouri each previously won the lottery twice on the
Speaker 1: same day. WHOA, I just want to do it once.
Speaker 1: I know it feels unfair, doesn't It feels like once
Speaker 1: you win, you should be disqualified. Yea. This next laser
Speaker 1: stories out of Virginia, Deputy David Parnell went to a
Speaker 1: home to investigate a crime, and when he entered, he
Speaker 1: locked eyes with the suspect and the other guy fled
Speaker 1: out the back door, So he chased them through a
Speaker 1: few alleys, then across a field, and after a few
Speaker 1: minutes day was getting tired and about to give up,
Speaker 1: when suddenly a goat from a nearby property joined in.
Speaker 1: That's right, the random goat was running alongside the deputy,
Speaker 1: and when the suspect ducked under the next fence line,
Speaker 1: the goat followed in pursuit. The guy entered the woods,
Speaker 1: and Deputy Dave says he stopped while the goat took
Speaker 1: over the lead in the chase. Is that okay? With
Speaker 1: like his boss? He heard some rustling from the bushes
Speaker 1: and then screaming, and suddenly the suspect came running back
Speaker 1: out with the goat hot on his trail him. After that,
Speaker 1: Deputy Dave was able to tackle the man and make
Speaker 1: the arrest. For service dogs. We're doing going that's the
Speaker 1: goat of the goat. It's funny you guys are saying
Speaker 1: that because they were asking if the goat might be
Speaker 1: recognized by the department for its outstanding citizenship and contribution,
Speaker 1: and the Sheriff's office says it's evaluating what awards can
Speaker 1: be given to a goat and if it's possible to
Speaker 1: train them with the canine units. I don't know if
Speaker 1: that's good though. They sniff out drugs and they eat it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's fine. Yeah, that's bad boys, bad boys. I like that. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's go to your next laser story. Out of Italy.
Speaker 1: In twenty nineteen, over fifteen thousand couples were married in
Speaker 1: the gorgeous and romantic Lazio region of Italy, but since
Speaker 1: it started the pandemic, only nine thousand couples in total
Speaker 1: have wed there in the last few years. Wow, that's
Speaker 1: a big drops to travel and Italy. It's almost crippling
Speaker 1: the local wedding industry. So officials came up with a
Speaker 1: promotion where if you get married or have a civil
Speaker 1: union in the Lazio region, which includes Rome. They'll pay
Speaker 1: you twenty three hundred dollars. That's one of your flights
Speaker 1: for two. Yeah. Yeah. It's all part of a new
Speaker 1: initiative called in Lazio with Love, okay, and it's open
Speaker 1: to both Italians and foreigners. Yeah, baby, But then you
Speaker 1: get there, the venue is like ten thousand dollars. A pause.
Speaker 1: I know. I also thinking on the wedding that you
Speaker 1: have to spot because I could go real cheap. Yeah.
Speaker 1: All you have to do to get that money is
Speaker 1: provide a maximum of five receipt showing that you used
Speaker 1: funds on Lazio based wedding services including wedding planners, venues, catering, flowers,
Speaker 1: and photographers. All right, just five of those things. Hey,
Speaker 1: one bouque, two pictures, you're still making money. I think
Speaker 1: that would count. And it doesn't matter where you get
Speaker 1: married in the region. Either it can be in a castle,
Speaker 1: on a medieval hilltop town or on the sand dune beaches.
Speaker 1: I know the beach sounds free, doesn't it. The most
Speaker 1: famous wed Italy here, the most famous wedding to have
Speaker 1: ever been held in the region, was between the now
Speaker 1: divorced Tom Cruise and Katie home Holmes, who married in
Speaker 1: a nearby castle in two thousand and six. It's kind
Speaker 1: of cursed them. Yeah, not a good cell. This next
Speaker 1: laser stories out of question time for cool kids. But
Speaker 1: I like it. What's more important to you your relative
Speaker 1: intelligence and an increasingly mad world or having the opportunity
Speaker 1: to be blissfully ignorant? I prefer ignorance. I mean honestly this.
Speaker 1: The smarter you are, the more depressing it is. Yeah.
Speaker 1: A new pole asked a thousand people, if you had
Speaker 1: to choose, would you rather be smart and sad or
Speaker 1: dumb and happy. In the end, you guys all guessed
Speaker 1: it dumb and happy one. Yeah, dumb and sad. It's
Speaker 1: why we get listeners to this show. They're just hoping
Speaker 1: happier the more they listen. It only one by a
Speaker 1: very slim margin, though, thirty six percent to thirty five percent.
Speaker 1: And the bad that I said dumb because I didn't
Speaker 1: understand the first question. The other twenty nine percent said
Speaker 1: they weren't sure, which again, why do people keep giving
Speaker 1: like the I don't know options on these surveys? The
Speaker 1: two options just choose off interestingly, Men were more likely
Speaker 1: to say smart and sad, while women were more likely
Speaker 1: to choose dumb and happy. Are wondering what would this
Speaker 1: guy say? Because I asked him, oh, and he told
Speaker 1: me slick and sexy. What's not an option? But you
Speaker 1: know what, I don't blame him. I think we'd all that.
Speaker 1: Sound means Laser Stories has come to an end for
Speaker 1: the day. We'll do it again, same time on Friday.