Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that came out of the porta
Speaker 1: potty with chocolate all over his mouth and nobody believes him. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's true though. He was on a diet and he
Speaker 1: was hiding it from his mom, and the porta Potti
Speaker 1: is the only place you could get some privacy. That's
Speaker 1: Laser Story, the segment where we read weird news stories
Speaker 1: around the glove, just like everyone else does, except we
Speaker 1: have a laser and those other sewer crabs just don't.
Speaker 1: This first Laser Stories out of the UK. A twenty
Speaker 1: five year old British woman named Summer Munroe is in
Speaker 1: the news today because the thought of eating an apple
Speaker 1: or a banana is enough to make her gag. Oh
Speaker 1: my gosh. And it's not because she doesn't like fruit.
Speaker 1: In fact, she loves the smell of it and vegetables too,
Speaker 1: but if she ever tries to eat one of them,
Speaker 1: it makes her physically sick. Oh, she related to my
Speaker 1: kids because that feels like dinner at my house. She
Speaker 1: suffers from something called avoidant Restrictive food Intake disorder or
Speaker 1: the acronym ARPID. Okay, yeah, she says she was probably
Speaker 1: about three years old the last time she ate a
Speaker 1: fruit or a vegetable, that would be awful. I love
Speaker 1: all that stuff, So how did this happen? Summer believes
Speaker 1: her food disorder was sparked by the fact she was
Speaker 1: forced to eat mashed potatoes against her will when she
Speaker 1: was a toddler. Scream why are you complaining? Are you kidding? Meet?
Speaker 1: My kids hate mashed potatoes. Oh, I didn't like it's
Speaker 1: a texture. I didn't like him when I was either, like,
Speaker 1: the texture is just scare them all. But since that
Speaker 1: time everything has changed. In fact, for the last twenty
Speaker 1: two years, Summer's main source of food has been chicken nuggets.
Speaker 1: Alexis is on her side. Yeah, she claims to be
Speaker 1: completely healthy. I mean, I would assume that's just only
Speaker 1: because she's torn five, but we're talking about her when
Speaker 1: she was fifty five. She also occasionally eats some fries
Speaker 1: and a bag of potato chips, and her boyfriend doesn't mind.
Speaker 1: He says they still go out to eat. She just
Speaker 1: orders off the kids menu, which is a positive for
Speaker 1: him because that makes her a super cheap date. Hates
Speaker 1: when there's plus, you get the little puzzles and mazes
Speaker 1: that you get to do it's good to have an
Speaker 1: activity on a first day. Okay, this next Laser Stories
Speaker 1: Out of Mississippi. Assistant Principal Toby Price set up a
Speaker 1: zoom call with a second grade class in the new
Speaker 1: principle of the school. But unfortunately for everyone on the call,
Speaker 1: the principle was a no show impression there is and
Speaker 1: that's when Toby got a text asking if he could
Speaker 1: improvise and read to the class instead. Okay, he wasn't
Speaker 1: prepared for that, but luckily had one of his favorite
Speaker 1: books nearby. The book is titled I Need a New Butt.
Speaker 1: He said, it's funny and silly, and in his twenty
Speaker 1: years as an educator, has read it many times. Apparently though,
Speaker 1: this was the last time. Why because shortly after that
Speaker 1: zoom call he received a termination letter saying reading that
Speaker 1: book showed quote a lack of professionalism plus impaired judgment,
Speaker 1: and he was fired. Jose just gave my kids a
Speaker 1: book that comes with what ten different noises that you
Speaker 1: can make? Yeah, animals around the world. Yea. Toby was shocked.
Speaker 1: He had never had a single disciplinary anything ever put
Speaker 1: in his file and now he got fired over a
Speaker 1: butt book he needs to read the book, I need
Speaker 1: a new job. So children's book authors, teachers, librarians all
Speaker 1: rallied around him, sending messages to the school stating the
Speaker 1: book is hilarious and sweet and that the decision to
Speaker 1: fire Toby was wrong. It's not like it's like about
Speaker 1: the Kardashians or anything right unforgivable. But so far it
Speaker 1: hasn't helped. He's still jobless, but he's not giving up,
Speaker 1: and he's determined to get his job back and teach
Speaker 1: others that funny books are needed in education. Absolutely, that's
Speaker 1: why you love reading. Yeah, making fun Yeah, butts are
Speaker 1: always funny. This next laser stories out of Eggplant Peach
Speaker 1: Splash Headquarters. Toby definitely get fired for being here. Yes,
Speaker 1: he's like if you haven't heard, a new batch of
Speaker 1: emojis are hitting iPhones next week. They are. Some of
Speaker 1: them seem a little more useful than others. For example,
Speaker 1: the world apparently needed a kidney bean emoji. Oh wow,
Speaker 1: I don't even know what those look like. They're like, Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're like little red beans. They're ring beans. That should
Speaker 1: put some limas in there too, Get all the beans.
Speaker 1: This update also includes the pregnant man emoji. Okay, but
Speaker 1: maybe there's a few others I could definitely see people using, like,
Speaker 1: let's go down the list. A melting face emoji. Oh
Speaker 1: for sure, that sounds useful. A saluting emoji. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: puppy dog guys emoji that's holding back happy tears. Oh
Speaker 1: do guys for everything? Yeah, heart hands emoji like making
Speaker 1: the shape of a heart, an empty nest emoji, a troll,
Speaker 1: a disco ball, and finally I've been wanting a disco ball.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, Sorry, I'm reely excited. They're all part of
Speaker 1: the new iOS update that's coming sometime next week, and
Speaker 1: it also includes a new feature that lets you use
Speaker 1: face ID with your mask on, which means my phone's
Speaker 1: gonna bug me for three weeks to do the update. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you'll do it, and then it'll be like I'm four
Speaker 1: forced you to do it. Like actually, Brook just said something.
Speaker 1: She said, Oh my god, did you see they move
Speaker 1: the search bar on the thing the bottom That was like,
Speaker 1: it's really annoying. I've gotten used to it was still
Speaker 1: kind of annoying. Sure you're get text from bronk of
Speaker 1: a kidney beaning. This next just stories out of Sleepytown,
Speaker 1: North America. Oh God, I live here, I work here.
Speaker 1: I won over time. Have you ever woken up from
Speaker 1: a nap and then felt worse than when you started? Yes?
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's. A prominent sleep researcher was interviewed recently about
Speaker 1: how to take the perfect nap. Yes, yes, yea, And
Speaker 1: he gives you two choices. If you take a short nap,
Speaker 1: say twenty or thirty minutes, yeah, you won't go into
Speaker 1: a deep sleep, and you'll wake up feeling refreshed, and
Speaker 1: you have a cup of coffee right before it. I'm
Speaker 1: telling you it is my go to. The deep sleep
Speaker 1: expert does not recommend a cup of coffee. Dude, try it?
Speaker 1: Are you an expert? Yes? No, I google search it.
Speaker 1: Jeffrey doesn't that college and that for ninety minutes, That's
Speaker 1: what I do. You can't go much more than that.
Speaker 1: That completes one full sleep cycle, and again you'll wake
Speaker 1: up feeling recharged. Okay, so I need to do hour
Speaker 1: and a half. Anything longer than ninety or between sleep cycles,
Speaker 1: and the forty to eighty minute range can put you
Speaker 1: in danger of feeling even groggier than you were before.
Speaker 1: That's my problem. I do like forty five to an hour.
Speaker 1: I need to extend it. That's not sleep cycle. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna practice this right when to get off word, So
Speaker 1: take my advice. Hit the sack and hit it hard. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just don't go on too long. And I know at
Speaker 1: least one person listens to my advice. Now slow it
Speaker 1: down just a little bit. Now we're gonna be done.
Speaker 1: Well done. That listener just text me this turtle the
Speaker 1: other day and said, if the sound is real, it is. Well,
Speaker 1: that's how means lags. The stories came to an end
Speaker 1: for the day. We'll do it again, same time on Monday.