Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys, We Guys, we Book.
Speaker 1: I'm Christina, I'm karn. We're sorry about last night, the
Speaker 1: anti sluck shaming podcast. I never stopped. Hello everyone, Welcome
Speaker 1: to another episode of Guys We Fun. Guys We Fucked.
Speaker 1: It's the anti slut shaming podcast. I'm Karine. I'm Christina
Speaker 1: Wants and I just came back from Colorado and like, seriously,
Speaker 1: like it's really cool. Yes, yeah, I went to Colorado Boulder.
Speaker 1: You guys got a nice little town. Shout out to
Speaker 1: the girl who I met at press play who was
Speaker 1: so sweet, um, and it made me feel really special.
Speaker 1: You Christina Asen. I was like, yeah, why shut up?
Speaker 1: Um No, but it was really cool. And then Stephen
Speaker 1: was filming so uh doing a project there. So I
Speaker 1: just came to like I just wanted to explore new town.
Speaker 1: Hell yeah when we when we tore, I'm so excited
Speaker 1: because I just want to like go to Topeka, like Kansas.
Speaker 1: I want to know like what's the thing to eat,
Speaker 1: see and to do in Topek and and what's the
Speaker 1: culture like like what do you guys, like what are
Speaker 1: you not? Like? What do I don't know? It's just
Speaker 1: fascinating to dive into another town that I've never been
Speaker 1: to and the mountains and the damn um. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was fun. And then the last night, we got a
Speaker 1: hotel because I was like, we're going to have a
Speaker 1: sex night, okay, where you didn't have a hotel the
Speaker 1: whole time. We had an airbnb that we're sharing with
Speaker 1: another person, and those walls was thin, and it was
Speaker 1: a person that I knew pretty well. But I didn't
Speaker 1: want them to hear me have sex because I don't
Speaker 1: want anybody to hear me have sex. Lesten had a
Speaker 1: hotel and it's a stranger and that's what you get. Sorry,
Speaker 1: But yeah, we went to a strip We went to
Speaker 1: a couple of strip clubs. But then I was like,
Speaker 1: we're gonna go Okay, I'm gonna get ready, and then
Speaker 1: we're gonna go to a sex shop and we're just
Speaker 1: gonna get a bunch of ship and then then we're
Speaker 1: gonna go to the strip club. We're like strip club hoop,
Speaker 1: and then we're gonna fun. Because we hadn't had sex
Speaker 1: in a couple of days. He hasn't even he hadn't
Speaker 1: even jerked off in a couple of days. Because the
Speaker 1: walls were so thin in this place and he's busy. Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: he went to Denver earlier than me. I had a
Speaker 1: fucking mass sturbation field day. I was taking like workout
Speaker 1: gear and laying on. I was just like, let's see
Speaker 1: what I could do. Um. It was fun. And then
Speaker 1: and then yeah, I bought this. I bought a sexy
Speaker 1: outfit and kind of a sexy outfit and actually could
Speaker 1: should do. It's a It's like it's like one of
Speaker 1: those shitty fucking you know when you go to a
Speaker 1: sex shop exactly, and it was just like a tight
Speaker 1: black thing. Huh. And Stephen, because I wanted to buy
Speaker 1: at first. I wanted to buy that body stocking that
Speaker 1: would talk about later. And he was like, he saw
Speaker 1: this other dress and he was like, I want you
Speaker 1: to wear that. I was like, okay, because I wanted
Speaker 1: him to dictate. I didn't give it shi it. I
Speaker 1: just wanted him to like, it's fun to go to
Speaker 1: a sex shop with your partner and have them pick
Speaker 1: out stuff. I did that in Ohio. Yeah, because I'm
Speaker 1: wearing it because I want you to like it. If
Speaker 1: I come out and you're like, it's gonna I'm gonna
Speaker 1: fucking punch. Some of those things are silly and you
Speaker 1: don't ever know, like what's going to tick off someone's
Speaker 1: funny bone and you're not sure. And I was kind
Speaker 1: of shocked that he picked the only pick, but I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, let's do it. And then I bought
Speaker 1: thigh highs and I got a vibrator. But it was
Speaker 1: one of those it looked like a tooth, but like
Speaker 1: a cartoon tooth. But um, it just like when these
Speaker 1: two like legs that went on either like lip of
Speaker 1: your like on the other side of your clip. I
Speaker 1: was like, we're gonna get this. And then I got
Speaker 1: I was like, I want to be hog tied because
Speaker 1: I saw in a porno recently. I was like, that
Speaker 1: looks fun. And I got We got it's like uh,
Speaker 1: coughs for all my both my hands and my my ankles,
Speaker 1: and then it's an ex so I can lay on
Speaker 1: my stomach and he could like tie me up. You
Speaker 1: could do a bunch of different ways. Anyway, we got
Speaker 1: loaded up the shopping cart, put in the car. It
Speaker 1: was it was okay, it wasn't it wasn't that crazy. Um.
Speaker 1: And then we went to all these strip clubs. It
Speaker 1: was really fun. The strippers and Boulder are fucking young
Speaker 1: and perfect, like gorgeous, gorgeous, and I would imagine that
Speaker 1: they're very Americana. Yeah, and uh and it was great.
Speaker 1: They were cool, chill, I don't know, it was really fun.
Speaker 1: And then we went we did one like in the
Speaker 1: center of town, and then we went to this place
Speaker 1: called bus stop. Shout out, there's an actual bus that'll
Speaker 1: pick you up if you need a ride to bus stop.
Speaker 1: That's why it's called bus stop. Yeah, bus stop. I
Speaker 1: can only imagine who they're picking up on the bus
Speaker 1: to bus stop. You going to bus stop. And we
Speaker 1: went in there and they have two rooms. One is
Speaker 1: topless and one is all nude. We went obviously wants
Speaker 1: we all knew one first, and there was one guy
Speaker 1: and we're like, no, because you can't drink any all
Speaker 1: nude one, right right, And then I didn't care about that,
Speaker 1: but uh so we went back into the titty one
Speaker 1: and then oh man, this chick came up to us
Speaker 1: where we sat like right at the edge of the
Speaker 1: stage and she's like, guys, want to see a trick?
Speaker 1: And we're like, yes, please, I want to see a trick,
Speaker 1: and then she like she's like hold each other's hands,
Speaker 1: and then she just like she was laying on her
Speaker 1: back and then she like brought her fucking eight thousand
Speaker 1: inch heels like above her head and then like clapped
Speaker 1: them and did something weird and then like stood up
Speaker 1: on her shoulders while like holding us. I'm like, this
Speaker 1: is great while holding you, yeah, like holding either side
Speaker 1: of our our like my left shoulder and his right shoulder.
Speaker 1: It was magical. And then one of the strippers she
Speaker 1: was she was like the oldest one there who loved
Speaker 1: and she loved us the most, and we're like okay,
Speaker 1: and she was really funny. But then she brought a
Speaker 1: kitten outside. She was outside smoking a cigarette. She just
Speaker 1: had his kitten in her hand. Boy, and I was like,
Speaker 1: can I hold your cat? And she's like yeah, it'll
Speaker 1: be five dollars and I was like really, and she's
Speaker 1: like no, here's my cat. And then I pet her cat.
Speaker 1: It was such a weird night. And then we went
Speaker 1: home and I got hog tied in that cute outfit
Speaker 1: and came like so hard that my like I almost
Speaker 1: had a seizure. It was great. Boulder is great. Boulder
Speaker 1: I think that particular was Boulder. That's not exclusive to Boulder,
Speaker 1: but you know what I thought, I'd like to think
Speaker 1: it was because you know, we swam and we hiked,
Speaker 1: didn't get all this stuff be arong with nature, and
Speaker 1: that makes me hornier. That makes me more, not hornier,
Speaker 1: but just more I can get turned on easily. Because
Speaker 1: I was talking about how it's been hard lately, come
Speaker 1: and on vacation, it's always easier in a way. Oh
Speaker 1: my god. But then, really, what was worried? What was
Speaker 1: happening though with earlier with me not being horny. I
Speaker 1: think of control did have something to do with it.
Speaker 1: But it was also like Steven's negativity drives my vagina up,
Speaker 1: that's I mean. And he said it, and I was like,
Speaker 1: well you said it, You're not wrong. Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 1: And I mean you I saw that hotel. It was beautiful.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, so and I mean anyone would get
Speaker 1: wet and I don't tell yeah, and uh yeah, it
Speaker 1: was nice. It was just nice. Nice. Are you my
Speaker 1: vagina is great? Are you not getting any urinary drag
Speaker 1: infections anymore? No? I think I just adjusted to James's semen.
Speaker 1: I did. I just have to adjust to people. I think,
Speaker 1: like the way I have to adjust to people in
Speaker 1: real life. I think my vagina is also like doesn't
Speaker 1: trust people, and like, yeah, that's off infections to be
Speaker 1: like go away, strange alert alert alert, strange danger. But
Speaker 1: then they were like, oh, I guess he's sticking around,
Speaker 1: so it's fine, we'll get used to it. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: can sleep with the semen inside me. Really that I
Speaker 1: can't do it. I like it's He's like, you're so weird,
Speaker 1: and I was like, yep, no, I think I understand it.
Speaker 1: But then bonding, I don't know it is. But see
Speaker 1: that's that's very beginning of relationships ship that I'm that
Speaker 1: at this point with me and Stephen, I'm like, nope,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I've been in relationship like long relationships
Speaker 1: that like I would still have done that, Like I
Speaker 1: still would have done that with Frank. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I the sex was never bad with Frank, right, So
Speaker 1: I don't know. I've never wanted to like I would
Speaker 1: want to sleep with someone seeming in me if I
Speaker 1: just started dating them like we're y'urine. But after that,
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, come on, yeah, we'll see the thing
Speaker 1: is I don't, like, I have no problem with like
Speaker 1: messiness in general, Like I like so I think that
Speaker 1: might also be a part of it, Like after I
Speaker 1: go to the beach, like I don't take a shower
Speaker 1: where I like to like sit in the sand. I
Speaker 1: agree that, I like. Like so it's like to me,
Speaker 1: that's like the equivalent of sitting in the sand from
Speaker 1: the day. Well, this morning we were playing around and
Speaker 1: then I was like, he was like, can I jazz
Speaker 1: on your face? And I was like, you can absolutely
Speaker 1: chise on my face because I was using my vibrated
Speaker 1: and I was like, let's just yeah, sure, I didn't care.
Speaker 1: And then he did it and I was like, wet
Speaker 1: towel and he was like yeah yeah, and then he
Speaker 1: went to the kitchen. I'm like, could you hurry up?
Speaker 1: Could you play it? Hurry up? We need to invent
Speaker 1: like sex towels that you could keep by your bed
Speaker 1: so that there's never that moment where you're sitting with
Speaker 1: your mouth tightly shut so that the jiz isn't leak
Speaker 1: in and you're waiting for your lover to go fetch
Speaker 1: a paper towel from the kitchen. But then he's too.
Speaker 1: He's wiping off his dick before you have a chance
Speaker 1: to wipe off your mouth. Well, yeah, I'm just, I just,
Speaker 1: I'm just During I dated journey, people like James just
Speaker 1: took like gym shorts and like wiped my face like
Speaker 1: or like well white, I would have taken that and
Speaker 1: then throwing it back into a pile of laundry. I mean,
Speaker 1: like that's my kind of person, and then put it
Speaker 1: on and wear it. Yeah. Probably, I mean like I
Speaker 1: would wear that shot around like I mean, like it
Speaker 1: was gray jim shorts. You know you can wear those
Speaker 1: a gets he just watches off. Seems cleaner than other
Speaker 1: things I've seen in boys gym shorts sounds not that
Speaker 1: boy specifically, but just boys in general. Um, anyway, come
Speaker 1: see us live that first one. You know you're right. Tomorrow, Saturday, July,
Speaker 1: Wendy Starling and I previous guys we fun Guess are
Speaker 1: hosting our monthly show Glama Pus. It's at seven thirty
Speaker 1: pm at Zinc Bar, which is in the West Village.
Speaker 1: The link to tickets is in the description of this podcast. Uh,
Speaker 1: there are still some available you shicam is going to
Speaker 1: be a really good time and then um on Montreal,
Speaker 1: Canada on Friday July nine, that we're doing the live
Speaker 1: recording of Guys We Sucked at Just for Laughs Comedy
Speaker 1: Festival at three pm. There's like three tickets left. Yes,
Speaker 1: there's a couple of tickets left, so maybe you can
Speaker 1: get one of those, and you can check out more dates.
Speaker 1: That's sorry about last night Comedy dot com slash tour
Speaker 1: for more information on that, Toronto, Canada on second insert
Speaker 1: something else in here. Uh. And then on Wednesday, August
Speaker 1: the Comedian Project is at the Standing Room with Today's
Speaker 1: Guest at nine pm. And then on Friday August six,
Speaker 1: the next Nacho Bitches is happening at New York Comedy Club.
Speaker 1: Use code Nacho for ten dollar tickets. Uh. That's so
Speaker 1: co hosted by myself and Blair Saki eleven pm. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then on Thursday September Current and I will be
Speaker 1: in Toronto, Canada for Jeff's for Laughs Toronto Version UM
Speaker 1: and we're gonna be there for two dates. On Thursday
Speaker 1: September twenty two, at nine pm, we're going to be
Speaker 1: doing a live recording of Guys We Fucked And the
Speaker 1: next day, Friday September at nine pm, we're gonna be
Speaker 1: doing Guys, we Fucked the tour um, So get tickets
Speaker 1: to one or get tickets to both. As of this moment,
Speaker 1: you can only reserve a seat if you have a
Speaker 1: festival pass. But they will be releasing individual tickets to
Speaker 1: those dates. We don't know when but soon, So as
Speaker 1: soon as that individual tickets are released, we will let
Speaker 1: you know. Just hold your calendar for now, and then
Speaker 1: we'll make it happen. Speaking of making it happen, are
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Speaker 1: com slash g w F. Alright, let's read some funk emails.
Speaker 1: If you want to email us it's sorry about last
Speaker 1: night's show at gmail dot com. Also, please rate us
Speaker 1: on iTunes. Thanks so much for everyone who's done that
Speaker 1: so far. It has helped rating and all the haters
Speaker 1: who gonna hate? Why are you gonna hate? Hey? Does
Speaker 1: go take a walk? As they say? Uh so? The
Speaker 1: subject of this email is my boyfriend has a vagina? Hi,
Speaker 1: Kuran and Christina. I don't even know how to start
Speaker 1: this email because I never thought it would be something
Speaker 1: i'd have to ask for advice about I've been dating
Speaker 1: a guy from work for about a month and a half.
Speaker 1: We worked pretty opposite schedule, so we don't get to
Speaker 1: see each other all that often and are taking things slow. Basically,
Speaker 1: we haven't had sex yet, which was fine until I
Speaker 1: found out there was another reason he was holding off.
Speaker 1: My boyfriend came over for dinner last night and everything
Speaker 1: was normal. He was talking to me about how badly
Speaker 1: he wanted to dress he used to dress in high school,
Speaker 1: and I said something like, how badly can a guy dressed?
Speaker 1: You basically just wear T shirts and jeans. Then he went, actually,
Speaker 1: I need to tell you something really serious. I was
Speaker 1: born as a girl, so I'm needless to say I
Speaker 1: was pretty fucking shocked. He went on to tell me
Speaker 1: that he's been on tea for the last three years
Speaker 1: and the top half surgery has already been done. However,
Speaker 1: below the waist he's still got all the female parts.
Speaker 1: All of this is really fucking with my brain because
Speaker 1: I've only ever known him as a guy, which is
Speaker 1: how he's identified his entire life, and I completely see
Speaker 1: him as male, except for the fact that if he
Speaker 1: were to take his pants off, you would see a vagina.
Speaker 1: Oh and on top of it, on the first person
Speaker 1: he's ever come out to about any of this. He
Speaker 1: moved and started a new a new job after he transitioned.
Speaker 1: I'm supportive of transgender people and believe that he is
Speaker 1: a man. I just don't know if I'm strong enough
Speaker 1: to be in a relationship with him or I'm comfortable
Speaker 1: with him having a badge. Even though I feel like
Speaker 1: an awful person for saying that I've never been with someone,
Speaker 1: I've never been someone to question my sexuality. I like Dick,
Speaker 1: but I found this really wonderful person after so any
Speaker 1: crappy relationships. Who has a vagina? My first boyfriend died,
Speaker 1: the second was emotionally and sexually abusive, the third cheated
Speaker 1: and became a drug dealer. So now I find a
Speaker 1: guy and you're like thinking, well, that's not so bad,
Speaker 1: just a vagina who was beyond amazing, but has a vagina?
Speaker 1: What do I do? This just feels really twisted and unfair,
Speaker 1: and I don't know what to think. I don't know
Speaker 1: what I'm comfortable with or how to proceed with all
Speaker 1: of this information. Please help. So your boyfriend's got a pussy, right,
Speaker 1: I mean I think, uh, it's understandable that you're upset,
Speaker 1: and it's understandable that you don't know if you can
Speaker 1: be in a relationship with the person because you feel
Speaker 1: a little deceived. But at the same time, I also
Speaker 1: understand why he would be hesitant in telling you because
Speaker 1: of the exact reaction that you have. But you shouldn't
Speaker 1: feel bad about that reaction. Um, I don't know. I mean,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of ways to you have to emotionally
Speaker 1: get past the fact that he doesn't have a dick
Speaker 1: and buy that. I mean, I don't know, Like a
Speaker 1: penis is very symbolic of a man. It is. It
Speaker 1: is symbolic of a man, right, It's what we're all like, penis, man, vagina, woman,
Speaker 1: just sexually. If you are a straight woman, you want
Speaker 1: a penis inside. But you can also buy many varieties
Speaker 1: of strap on and then get so many more penises
Speaker 1: than you bargain for. You could have like twelve dildos
Speaker 1: that you could put on a harness. I'm not kidding,
Speaker 1: like not at the same time, I mean, unless you
Speaker 1: want that, so, but that's something that you know you
Speaker 1: have to I would at least try it out. I mean,
Speaker 1: my thoughts on it are like, okay, Well, first off,
Speaker 1: if he's gotten the top surgery, I'm guessing he's probably
Speaker 1: just saving up to get the bottom half of surgery.
Speaker 1: It's just super expensive. Um, there are different types of
Speaker 1: organizations that do help fun transitions. I'm sure if you've
Speaker 1: looked into that, I can do some research and find
Speaker 1: some links in everything, because that's a huge part. Like,
Speaker 1: because the operation is so expensive, a lot of people
Speaker 1: just don't end up finishing it. We're not all you know,
Speaker 1: Caitlyn Jenner, so I can just um, but my feeling
Speaker 1: is just like, okay, so when you start dating someone,
Speaker 1: like you're attracted to like the person, and that's why
Speaker 1: I kind of I always make that joke like, well
Speaker 1: I have only been attracted sexually two men so far,
Speaker 1: but I don't know, maybe I just haven't found the
Speaker 1: woman that I yet. And it's a joke. I truly
Speaker 1: do mean that, because it's like when you meet someone. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you're meeting a person, and so if everything else
Speaker 1: about this person was okay before, like there's no reason
Speaker 1: it shouldn't it should be different now. However, sexually, if
Speaker 1: this person is not going to end up getting the surgery,
Speaker 1: I don't think me as a straight woman, Like for me,
Speaker 1: I would need a like a penis like connected to
Speaker 1: a person. I don't know. That's so that's my thoughts,
Speaker 1: but I think I don't Yeah, I mean, especially if
Speaker 1: you this person isn't fant hastic as you say he is,
Speaker 1: it's like, I don't know, give it a shot. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it could be really interesting and kind of maybe expand
Speaker 1: uh your horizons further than you ever imagined. And I
Speaker 1: think like maybe like you're thinking about it too long term,
Speaker 1: just the same as like with anyone, Like you know,
Speaker 1: a transgender person is probably gonna disappoint you just as
Speaker 1: just like anyone else. Yeah, you can't. Can't have higher
Speaker 1: expectations on them just because they're in a unique situation
Speaker 1: a ship, because I mean, the main thing would be,
Speaker 1: like you don't seem to have a problem with the
Speaker 1: fact that he was born a woman and like you
Speaker 1: usually like see this person as a man, So that
Speaker 1: to me would be the main thing. But if that's
Speaker 1: not a problem for you, then like I don't know,
Speaker 1: like I don't, you don't have to be strong enough
Speaker 1: for the both of you, Like that's his process and
Speaker 1: you'll be a part of it. But I think you're
Speaker 1: maybe like taking on too much of it right off
Speaker 1: the bat. It's still in early relationship, so I mean, like,
Speaker 1: if you were to go down the line this person,
Speaker 1: then you would take on more of the weight of
Speaker 1: things about them, but in the beginning of the relationship,
Speaker 1: like his own ship. Yeah, if you currently still are
Speaker 1: interested in pursuing the relationship with him, just pursue it
Speaker 1: and see how it goes. It could go. He could
Speaker 1: break your heart, you could break his heart, or you
Speaker 1: could both be like you could be one day be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not feeling this, and that's that's okay, because that's
Speaker 1: what happens in every relationship. All of them work out
Speaker 1: until they don't exactly exactly well. Our guest from the
Speaker 1: way the beginning of the podcast Tristan, my transgender coworker
Speaker 1: who was born a woman. And then dude, I am
Speaker 1: he's so I wouldn't dated. The reason I wouldn't have
Speaker 1: dated too young for me. Oh yeah, yeah, but he
Speaker 1: is working yet with me? Yes, true? No, Um, but
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, I don't know, Like if I saw
Speaker 1: I've seen worse things on people than vaginas. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I do know what you mean I do the moles
Speaker 1: or warts, sir, if like no one warns you, if
Speaker 1: like they have like a crusty dick, or like me
Speaker 1: just like yeah, I was like, I've seen worse things
Speaker 1: in vagina. Look at that a nice vagina. Though I expected,
Speaker 1: and I expected, but I wouldn't be horrified. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean my first thought would be, I mean, but I
Speaker 1: don't know this person as a person, so I'm sure
Speaker 1: if I was in a relationship with them, that wouldn't
Speaker 1: be my first thought. But I listen to the the email like, Okay,
Speaker 1: how am I going to get? How? How can he
Speaker 1: fuck me? And how can I? But then I'm like,
Speaker 1: let's call to the sex toy store, gonna strap on.
Speaker 1: And I would have been oddly flattered that someone chose like,
Speaker 1: like you chose me to confide. That means a lot.
Speaker 1: You must think I'm like really cool and open minded.
Speaker 1: That's what I would think. I don't know, Yeah, I Uh,
Speaker 1: it's different. I met a person who um recently, who
Speaker 1: has a kid who's six or seven, and the child
Speaker 1: was born a boy, and uh, she's now a girl,
Speaker 1: but she's six or seven, and she like, she just
Speaker 1: feels like I didn't meet. I didn't meet the person.
Speaker 1: Stephen had met the person the little little girl, and
Speaker 1: he was describing it to me. I'm like, that's so
Speaker 1: fucking beautiful that that she's being herself and that her
Speaker 1: parents are open and like sure whatever, like you are
Speaker 1: what you are, it doesn't matter, like ah, and that
Speaker 1: just that's so solidifies to me. Not this isn't what
Speaker 1: this emails about, but it's solidifies to me that you
Speaker 1: are born and you feel a certain way, and sometimes
Speaker 1: how you feel and how what's physically on your body
Speaker 1: don't match, and that can be a big problem. So
Speaker 1: you want to you want this to to match. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's why I don't set out outfits the day before work.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know, want to feel like we're
Speaker 1: in tomorrow. Tomorrow's a new day. It's true this email, Um,
Speaker 1: I know we don't do like trigger warnings and stuff,
Speaker 1: but I was pretty jarred by it. But I was
Speaker 1: also oddly like, um, glad, glad the person emailed. I
Speaker 1: was proud. Yeah, I was like proud of the person
Speaker 1: for being so honest. Yeah, I was, um, so so yeah,
Speaker 1: this one is this is this is a doozy. Um
Speaker 1: the subject is I want to rape a girl. Hi.
Speaker 1: I'm a twenty eight year old male. I've been married
Speaker 1: for nine years, and I come from a religiously conservative
Speaker 1: background since I was a child. I don't know how
Speaker 1: this manifested, but I do know that I have a
Speaker 1: strong desire to drug and sexually assault a girl. I know,
Speaker 1: I know it's wrong. This girl is a family friend
Speaker 1: that trusts me, and her family does as well. I
Speaker 1: can say that I didn't feel bad about it at
Speaker 1: all until your interview with Blair Saki. I want to
Speaker 1: make it clear that I'm not someone who has no
Speaker 1: respect for women. I am a feminist. I know women
Speaker 1: should be treated with equality, but for some reason, when
Speaker 1: it comes to sex, I just have a mental blind spot.
Speaker 1: It's like my sexual passion trumps any negative effects on
Speaker 1: on the on the woman. It's pretty much animalistic how
Speaker 1: I feel about sex. As I already mentioned, I have
Speaker 1: been married for nine years. My wife is the only
Speaker 1: woman I've even kissed. The religion doesn't make specific laws
Speaker 1: on what can and can't be done in bed, but
Speaker 1: I know that it limits what my wife feels comfortable doing.
Speaker 1: This is This is despite the fact that I am
Speaker 1: a very sexual person, I even really and I eventually
Speaker 1: I turned to porn. I am pretty sure that the
Speaker 1: porn has warped my idea of sex. So now I
Speaker 1: have this desire to drug this young girl with sleeping pills.
Speaker 1: I have taken steps to avoid this. When Blair said
Speaker 1: that she couldn't even talk about the sex stuff because
Speaker 1: it was so bad, I had a realization I could
Speaker 1: finally feel someone's pain when it came to being taken
Speaker 1: advantage of sexually. In my mind, I thought that I
Speaker 1: could avoid penetration and that it would be no harm,
Speaker 1: no foul. But I know it's much worse than that.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that the desire went away. I am
Speaker 1: arranging things so that I'm not alone with any girl
Speaker 1: in that setting, and I have to cut off porn.
Speaker 1: I guess I just wanted to write you because in
Speaker 1: one show you specifically mentioned how you like to talk
Speaker 1: to someone who has had this desire. I know I
Speaker 1: need help, and I am in pursuit of it. This
Speaker 1: is not my real email address or my real name.
Speaker 1: If you have any ideas of how to overcome this,
Speaker 1: I would greatly appreciate advice. Also, I originally started listening
Speaker 1: to your podcast to get off, but it has actually
Speaker 1: helped me to have a more have more respect and
Speaker 1: empathy for women, So thanks for that as well. Well. God, damn,
Speaker 1: I did ask. I did ask. Yeah, So I'm Curt.
Speaker 1: I actually wrote him back just to let him know.
Speaker 1: I know. He said he's in pursuit of help, and
Speaker 1: I'm I'm trying to find resources. I know people who
Speaker 1: who work in the field of sexuality and psychology and
Speaker 1: all that stuff, So I'm trying to get him some stuff.
Speaker 1: I try to do research on this my own and
Speaker 1: I put into Google, like I want to rape somebody,
Speaker 1: or rape desires or how to quit, and it's I
Speaker 1: mean a lot of the stuff the first like page,
Speaker 1: they're all religious, Well God wants No, that's not what
Speaker 1: I'm looking for. That's not gonna very similar to pedophilia
Speaker 1: and that information out there. Yeah. Absolutely, So I wanted
Speaker 1: to read this email because one, it's it's facet it's
Speaker 1: it's it's I mean, there are people listening right now
Speaker 1: who I'm sure feel something similar to this guy. Either
Speaker 1: they've done it or they haven't done it. I know
Speaker 1: he's not the only one. I wrote him back, and
Speaker 1: I was like, you're not the only person that's feeling
Speaker 1: this obviously in the world, but clearly, like even people
Speaker 1: who listen, I just think it's very it's scary to
Speaker 1: be that honest about it. You have to create a
Speaker 1: fake email account. It's just a more extreme rate fantasy.
Speaker 1: What the only part that I find truly alarming is
Speaker 1: the part where you say you know exactly who you
Speaker 1: want to do it too, and it's someone that you
Speaker 1: know and that you would be around, and that goes
Speaker 1: that goes along with the statistics. It's usually someone the
Speaker 1: person knows right well, because it's just easier because there
Speaker 1: are going to be situations where you're around that person.
Speaker 1: So I mean the fact that this you know, I mean,
Speaker 1: that girl that he's talking about exists and his desire exists,
Speaker 1: and it's like, it's great that he's making steps towards
Speaker 1: not being in the room with her, because that's strong
Speaker 1: of a desire. It's a little scary that it's that's strong,
Speaker 1: but honest, any feeling that you have does not make
Speaker 1: you a monster. Acting on those feelings does make you
Speaker 1: a monster, And it's the difference. Yeah, and there are
Speaker 1: people like this American Life episode that I had quoted
Speaker 1: a long time ago when we interviewed Troy Allen, who
Speaker 1: have pedophilic urges for example, and don't act on them,
Speaker 1: and they're sucking heroes because Jesus Christ. Imagine living in
Speaker 1: that body with those thoughts and not being able you
Speaker 1: can't do anything about it because you know what's wrong,
Speaker 1: but then everyone's looking at you like you're a monster anyway,
Speaker 1: if you are honest about it, and I would imagine that,
Speaker 1: especially depending on where this person lives, Like if they
Speaker 1: lived in place like New York City, I think they
Speaker 1: could find help a little bit more easily. But like
Speaker 1: to find a therapist who would be willing to sit
Speaker 1: with you and deal with this and like not be
Speaker 1: scared and be open minded, I think it is going
Speaker 1: to be tough. And that's why it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: through our sexual resources to get the information, yeah, well
Speaker 1: to hand exactly. So I I have people looking at links.
Speaker 1: If anybody listening though, has a good resources that they
Speaker 1: want to recommend, by all means for them to me
Speaker 1: and I'll compile them um if anybody else also has
Speaker 1: is similar. Every time we read an email about a
Speaker 1: specific issue, we always get waves of emails that are like, oh,
Speaker 1: the same thing happened to me. I'm curious. I'm really
Speaker 1: curious because this is how we prevent it from happening,
Speaker 1: is we have an open conversation about it before it happens. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So it's like it's and it's totally like yeah, like
Speaker 1: I said, like it's totally you shouldn't feel I think
Speaker 1: you should feel guilty for feeling these ways. I mean,
Speaker 1: like necrophilia is an actual thing that people get, you know,
Speaker 1: aroused from It's like it is a fetish. But like,
Speaker 1: but then you have to separate it and just know
Speaker 1: as a logical human being and someone who is not
Speaker 1: a sociopath, like this is another human being. This is
Speaker 1: not okay to do. This is wrong. You will destroy
Speaker 1: another person's life if you do that, and you do
Speaker 1: not have the right to do that. And so yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean there's so many like the context clues of
Speaker 1: like this is the religion a factor is I have
Speaker 1: we have to I have no idea. Is the fact
Speaker 1: that your wife is the only person the first person
Speaker 1: you kissed. I mean, clearly you haven't been able to
Speaker 1: be sexual with other people. Is that I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I mean, something that's strong might
Speaker 1: be an actual chemical imbalance, like the way a serial
Speaker 1: killer's brain is actually shaped differently, but he's not acting
Speaker 1: on it though, I mean it's very bold. So like, no,
Speaker 1: I know about yourself. I truly think like pedophilia is
Speaker 1: like there's your your brain is just constructed differently. You're bad,
Speaker 1: You're a bad person. Just means you kind of got
Speaker 1: like you got a shitty you know, you know, you
Speaker 1: were dealt some shitty cards. But this guy's twenty eight.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I mean, he didn't mention the
Speaker 1: age of the girl, so I don't know. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: no, no no, I'm not I'm talking about this to me
Speaker 1: is a it's similar in that it is a sexual
Speaker 1: desire that is going to be shunned by society. And
Speaker 1: that is how it's similar to pedophilia. Well, but it's
Speaker 1: but it's interesting because also we can also we have
Speaker 1: porn with rape fantasies for sure, that's widely no one's no,
Speaker 1: I mean, there's porn with kids getting sun but I
Speaker 1: mean that's more like yeah, that's on the other internet.
Speaker 1: But but meaning though, this is like an accepted thing
Speaker 1: of like yeah, this is a porn that people watch
Speaker 1: and everyone's everyone's cool with that, everyone's fair. People usually
Speaker 1: aren't getting drugged in those Oh no, no, that's that's
Speaker 1: that's another thing like that I found to be like,
Speaker 1: but that's a and that's a very common, uh way
Speaker 1: to get raped as being rud right, well, because I mean,
Speaker 1: to me, the lifelessness of a of a drug body
Speaker 1: pointed a lot to something like he might like. To me,
Speaker 1: it was like, oh, you might necrophiliac like that. That's
Speaker 1: why I connected all those things. Whatever it is. I mean,
Speaker 1: I think it's like, I think it's important to be
Speaker 1: able to talk about something, especially when you know it's
Speaker 1: wrong and you're you need to stop it a completely
Speaker 1: different thing to act on it. And uh, it's but
Speaker 1: it always makes me sad when we get emails like this. Um,
Speaker 1: it's nice that people feel like they can share this
Speaker 1: with us, but it's like, this is someone who needs
Speaker 1: help weight beyond what we can please, steady seeking help,
Speaker 1: which is great. I'm I'm actually curious where Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: I I emailed them back and actually asked him a
Speaker 1: bunch of questions. I was like, if you don't mind
Speaker 1: answering these, because I'm curious because I would love to
Speaker 1: figure out any way to prevent rate right, and what
Speaker 1: people's responses to be with would be to that, Like
Speaker 1: how I can't even imagine like calling a therapist office
Speaker 1: and being like, how, I have a problem. I want
Speaker 1: to write people like I think they would even think
Speaker 1: it was like a joke. Maybe, I mean a good
Speaker 1: therapist would listen and figure it out. Of course, you
Speaker 1: have more dilemmas in your life that are personal to
Speaker 1: your existence. But I mean if I was a sex therapist,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, yeah, I want to see this guy,
Speaker 1: and like I would be excited to get to the
Speaker 1: bottom of it and figure it out. It's super as
Speaker 1: a super special because I I, uh, sometimes problems on
Speaker 1: the podcast that are bigger than you or I, which
Speaker 1: is almost all of them. A lot of them are, yeah,
Speaker 1: but we try to help as Tommy because he is
Speaker 1: getting you know, his yeah, so I asked him about it.
Speaker 1: I mean his specialization is in gay mails, but he
Speaker 1: certainly has more of an understanding, uh than us, and
Speaker 1: you know, so we'll reach out figure it out and uh,
Speaker 1: thanks for emailing. And we have a great guest today.
Speaker 1: She's wonderful she's a Midwestern gal. She's a comedian, she's
Speaker 1: a writer. She is co host of The Comedian Project.
Speaker 1: Please give a warm welcome to Katie Hanaga. Everybody's trying
Speaker 1: to tell me what to do. Everybody's trying to tell
Speaker 1: me what to do. It makes you want to break
Speaker 1: some ship and sniff some clue. Everybody's trying to tell
Speaker 1: me what to do. Stranger in the bar tells me
Speaker 1: to smile more. I look at him, and I asked,
Speaker 1: what for? I am happily unhappy man, And no, I
Speaker 1: don't want to shake your hand out slash slash ship.
Speaker 1: I thought, I like Katie and you're open Mike Jones
Speaker 1: and she's on the day to talk about how you
Speaker 1: were a preschool teacher, and I remember like this really
Speaker 1: pretty girl with long hair came in with an Australian
Speaker 1: and she's a teacher, and that's how I that was
Speaker 1: like the first thought I ever had about you. And
Speaker 1: then we were talking about that earlier about teaching preschool
Speaker 1: that you don't anymore, thank god, Prace the Laura what
Speaker 1: the kids all preschool age or so cute? Though, oh
Speaker 1: my god, they're really cute. But you know, it's like
Speaker 1: always something. It's like I was saying, it's very high energy.
Speaker 1: Like we had a girl who was like intentionally pissing
Speaker 1: her pants every day for intentionally. She was doing it
Speaker 1: to get to garner attention for herself, and so then
Speaker 1: we were like, well, I guess if we just ignore
Speaker 1: her and maybe she'll stop. But then it's like, well
Speaker 1: it smells like pissing here, who's going to clean that up?
Speaker 1: You got that list and you get like a vagina
Speaker 1: rash too, if you like let someone sit in their
Speaker 1: own urine for too long. Yeah, you can't let them
Speaker 1: sit in their own urine. I mean that would be
Speaker 1: it's like a little neglectful. Did your Did her parents know?
Speaker 1: They were very overwhelmed by her behavior? They were, They
Speaker 1: were the sweetest family, you know, But it's like the
Speaker 1: daughter was a bit precaucious, you know how they get
Speaker 1: those little that's what they call a young lady daughter
Speaker 1: who's like a bit like, oh, she's a little that's great.
Speaker 1: But I feel like I feel like any like most
Speaker 1: bad kids, like not bad like that you have like
Speaker 1: weapons and ship, but like if you're bad and that
Speaker 1: you just act out that Those people usually come from
Speaker 1: a sweet family because they're not getting disciplined. Yeah, they're like,
Speaker 1: well this is boring. Well a lot of the family
Speaker 1: child Yeah, exactly, a lot of the families they were
Speaker 1: like yuppies, you know, and you could just tell by
Speaker 1: the parents that they have never like baby sad or anything.
Speaker 1: And they had kids and they're like, oh, what the
Speaker 1: fuck like poops and peas and runs around your life
Speaker 1: and them overron to you, thank you. When I was
Speaker 1: in I think it was I was in preschool, I
Speaker 1: remember a kid whipped out of his penis and started
Speaker 1: just playing with it, like just like to himself, but
Speaker 1: like and I remember that was I think that was
Speaker 1: the first time. I think I might accidentally saw my
Speaker 1: brother's penis before that, but that was one of the
Speaker 1: first times I saw a penis and I was like,
Speaker 1: what is that? Do you have kids that whip it out? Well?
Speaker 1: I have a joke about this actually, but one time
Speaker 1: I took a little boy to the bathroom and I
Speaker 1: was like helping him, you know, button his little pants
Speaker 1: or whatever, and he was like, he was like, my
Speaker 1: penis is tickling. And I was I was like what
Speaker 1: and he was like he. I was like, I was like,
Speaker 1: let's just fix the pants and he's like, no, I
Speaker 1: like it, and then he goes, he goes. Sometimes I
Speaker 1: tickle it back. I was like, okay, for you, that's
Speaker 1: what you do when private time. You know. That was
Speaker 1: the day I forgot my rape whistle. But that's why
Speaker 1: we should. I think, like, you know, there are countries
Speaker 1: that start just like really like working you in slowly
Speaker 1: to sex education from like kendery In And that makes
Speaker 1: sense because it's like you have all these things in
Speaker 1: your on your body and you don't know like why
Speaker 1: they were there really or what they do. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1: I remember like looking in my vagina as a kid,
Speaker 1: being like fuck is supposed to why? Why? And then
Speaker 1: sometimes it hurts or it is itchy or it does tingle,
Speaker 1: and you're like why is it doing that? I mean
Speaker 1: when I was in kindergarten, the teacher walked out of
Speaker 1: the room and I on flash my boobs to the
Speaker 1: entire body, which is not excited as exciting as it
Speaker 1: would be now. I mean just very flow would be
Speaker 1: like little tiny nips, it would be more exciting. But
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I was like wearing like this
Speaker 1: little crop top and then I don't even know what
Speaker 1: a sloody little kids. It was impulse. It was just
Speaker 1: kind of like it's showtime. What can I do to
Speaker 1: get attention? That was current show time. Well, it's funny
Speaker 1: because when I was a little kid, I did like
Speaker 1: attention a lot, and then like I think maybe around
Speaker 1: middle school, that just stopped and like these no one
Speaker 1: look at me ever unless I'm in a play. Uh,
Speaker 1: Like I just hated talking to people. I think I
Speaker 1: wore it out. I was gonna say, did something traumatic happen?
Speaker 1: Or you're like this is boring? No. I used to
Speaker 1: say like hi to everyone in the supermarket until they
Speaker 1: would say hi back to me, and like that would
Speaker 1: do that I couldn't. Yeah, that couldn't be any further
Speaker 1: from who I am now. So I think I just
Speaker 1: went over my quota very young, and then that was
Speaker 1: the end. So what would you like as a kid, Well, um,
Speaker 1: I learned about sex pretty early because my mom had
Speaker 1: my brother, and my mom was in nursing school, so
Speaker 1: she like told me everything and we watched Miracle of Life.
Speaker 1: Your brother's younger. My brother is four three and a
Speaker 1: half years younger, So I was like three years old
Speaker 1: watching Miracle of Life, and I like it was self fun.
Speaker 1: And there's a part that I remember vividly where they
Speaker 1: talked about sperms and like some sperms can have two
Speaker 1: heads and two tails, and I was just like I
Speaker 1: would just go around and be like, um, you know
Speaker 1: some sperms can have two heads, and people are like, oh,
Speaker 1: what are like a little boy talking about like the
Speaker 1: difference between a tyrannosaurus that had like all the like
Speaker 1: you know little kids of these weird weird dinosaur knowledge.
Speaker 1: I know, not that sperm. What is this movie? What?
Speaker 1: IVE never know? The Miracle of Life? It's a nova
Speaker 1: movie where they have like it was made in the eighties. Okay,
Speaker 1: so the technology probably now looks really bootleg. But they
Speaker 1: basically put cameras inside the p hole. From what I
Speaker 1: think I remember, they put it in the dudes pe
Speaker 1: hole and then they like follow the sperm from the
Speaker 1: testes into the lady and like watch it fertilized the egg.
Speaker 1: And then they watched the baby grow. And this is realist,
Speaker 1: is not cartoon. It's totally real. It's all you can
Speaker 1: see like the baby. And then the only kind of
Speaker 1: disturbing part spoiler or is when the baby's like crowning.
Speaker 1: You see the woman's vagina like splitting open. Basically, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the part we saw. I watched the birth video.
Speaker 1: Like maybe it was that video. Yeah, like deter you
Speaker 1: from getting knocked up when you're fifteen, right, Well, I
Speaker 1: mean they once they go through like the trouble of
Speaker 1: putting a camera in a pe hole. I think they
Speaker 1: were like, we're going to do it once in the eighties,
Speaker 1: We're not going to do on the It was like
Speaker 1: a huge camera too, because that was thirty years ago.
Speaker 1: Did your mom have you she had you watched that
Speaker 1: video along with her? I think, so it seems right yeah,
Speaker 1: And did you have any questions or you're like yeah,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh cool, now, I know. I kid.
Speaker 1: You were a nerty little kid, you know. I was
Speaker 1: like really into because my mom was in medical school,
Speaker 1: so we would talk about like organs and stuff. My
Speaker 1: mom has like no filter, so she basically would just
Speaker 1: like tell me random stuff that I really shouldn't know
Speaker 1: as a child, and then I go around like spouting
Speaker 1: it out. Like I remember when I was like six
Speaker 1: or seven, she told me the whole story of Sybil.
Speaker 1: Remember that story? Oh Jesus, Yeah, I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: like really did she got real pick? Oh my god? Wow?
Speaker 1: And then do you so you knew very early on
Speaker 1: that a penis goes in a vagina. I think I don't,
Speaker 1: because that part was not clear to me until very late.
Speaker 1: I think I did know that. I think that was
Speaker 1: totally like I got it. Were you did use tampons
Speaker 1: when you were a kid? I couldn't get them in
Speaker 1: my little tiny coup me neither. Girl. It was so embarrassing,
Speaker 1: and my my mom was just like just shove it in,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I can't and I could never
Speaker 1: go swimming. Well I did. That's I had the most
Speaker 1: stereotypical twelve years old going to my front pages pool
Speaker 1: party at the community pool, and then I couldn't. I
Speaker 1: was like crying, but I didn't know where to put it.
Speaker 1: I didn't even know here that there are two holes.
Speaker 1: And I mean, I'm thirty and I will say the
Speaker 1: three I've learned well the but I'm not put in
Speaker 1: my butt hole. You might it's close, but the thing is,
Speaker 1: because I like even now, like I will go through
Speaker 1: like three sometimes until I'm really and I'm just like, wow,
Speaker 1: there's gonna be a lot of blood. In the garbage. Can't, sorry, roommate.
Speaker 1: Even when I put on tampons. Now, it's not like
Speaker 1: I know exactly what I'm doing. It's just like I
Speaker 1: gotta I gotta feel around for a little bit. Well,
Speaker 1: I know where the hole is. It's like to make
Speaker 1: the to get it out of the applicator is sometimes
Speaker 1: difficult because like if you don't push it up all
Speaker 1: the way and then pull it, it comes out. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a real fun sorry to everyone. You're like walking
Speaker 1: around outside and you're like, something's wrong when the tampon
Speaker 1: uh prairie dogs it that and then you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's when you pee it and then the peak gets
Speaker 1: on the string. That's why I never keep it in
Speaker 1: my tea. Yeah I hold a string sometimes like okay,
Speaker 1: but then this is it's like like when you're going
Speaker 1: from you know, my belly button and then you're like
Speaker 1: making your way to the butt hole. For example, that
Speaker 1: little journey the urethra is first it's phole, tampon whole,
Speaker 1: butt hole, tampon hole. Okay, if anybody's listening to this
Speaker 1: with children, you want to give them the dog, just
Speaker 1: play them this because you know we're fine. It as
Speaker 1: a whole, a whole. We're adults, and like, this is
Speaker 1: why you need to talk to your kids about sex.
Speaker 1: Don't just be like rammed in, just shove it in
Speaker 1: until it fits. Um, when was your did you? Were
Speaker 1: you an early masturbaider? Oh yeah, I was like, well,
Speaker 1: because I went to a Catholic school, I would like
Speaker 1: have masturbation like desires, but I would be Catholic school. No. No,
Speaker 1: Because I went there, I was like afraid of the Lord,
Speaker 1: like you know, smiting me. So I would just like
Speaker 1: I would just like do other weird stuff like I
Speaker 1: wouldn't masturb me, but i'd like put like I had
Speaker 1: a bunch of dress up clothes. I like wrapped myself
Speaker 1: in like scarves and stuff, and and just like kind
Speaker 1: of be in my room like naked, like hanging out,
Speaker 1: you know, and my mom would come in and be like,
Speaker 1: what the hell are you doing. One time I had
Speaker 1: a slumber party. Oh well, because I um, I like
Speaker 1: had a slumber party with my little Catholic school girlfriends, right,
Speaker 1: and we were like let's do hot photos or whatever.
Speaker 1: I think I had like found like a playboy or
Speaker 1: something in my house, and so I was like oh,
Speaker 1: I know. And so we were taking all these like
Speaker 1: we like put on all this makeup or like taking
Speaker 1: all these photos of like the sleeve off. And my
Speaker 1: mom developed the photos and she was like, she told
Speaker 1: me she could arrest for your child. We're not just
Speaker 1: a couple of years ago. She was like I saw
Speaker 1: those and I was like, what the hell is this?
Speaker 1: She was like, I was so afraid that the photo
Speaker 1: place is gonna arrest we you're supposed to. I used
Speaker 1: to work at CBS Photo and we had to call
Speaker 1: the cops on Tralie. There was traild board and there
Speaker 1: were things that were questionable. We had to call then nips.
Speaker 1: I mean it was tasteful, No nips, it was tasteful. Well,
Speaker 1: thank god your cousins didn't work at the photo department
Speaker 1: at path Mark like minded, because I too, Like when
Speaker 1: I was like four, I love four. I loved being naked.
Speaker 1: And so there was this like infamous picture of me
Speaker 1: with like a whole Colgan band Danna or on my head,
Speaker 1: I'm wearing sunglasses, shirt off fan like a like an
Speaker 1: Asian fan covering my coach and I'm just like posing
Speaker 1: and my cousin like used to look through my photos
Speaker 1: when we got them developed, like because they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's family, but it's also like, um, that are my
Speaker 1: personal photos. And we could tell that they were all
Speaker 1: out of order. I mean used to get doubles, but
Speaker 1: they were like all messed up at and we knew
Speaker 1: they were looking at them. They were like make side comments.
Speaker 1: Did they comment on that photo of you mean probably?
Speaker 1: But maybe it's better that it was my family because
Speaker 1: my mom's that didn't get arrested. Or if it was
Speaker 1: a stranger, I'd be like, I'm gonna keep this for later.
Speaker 1: That would now, yeah, I mean, you were four. No
Speaker 1: one else is going to give a ship except the wait,
Speaker 1: I mean what if I could I post that? If
Speaker 1: it's can you post young naked photos of yourself? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a for it's a free country. I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't know. People are so weird these days. But then
Speaker 1: the thing is someone might screenshotters say that for their
Speaker 1: own enjoyment, if they're a pedophile, like you know, you
Speaker 1: always that fueling pedophilia. Is it giving them something to
Speaker 1: take their mind off of actually committing a horrible act
Speaker 1: in real life? Because I was like, well, I'm an
Speaker 1: adult now, so I don't mind because I'm like TBT,
Speaker 1: so you gotta do a TBT. You know when people
Speaker 1: post pictures of their kids on Facebook and like bathtubs
Speaker 1: and like, I mean I feel like, yeah, it makes
Speaker 1: me feeluncomfortable too, but it makes you feelncomfortable, But then
Speaker 1: I feel bad for feeling uncomfortable, like a fucking relax, Christina,
Speaker 1: it's a child like children should be naked then, and
Speaker 1: people ruining for everyone. But it's like, you just don't
Speaker 1: need every photo on Facebook. That's the bigger point. Only
Speaker 1: you think your kid in a basin in a sink
Speaker 1: is like, it's not oh do when I get like
Speaker 1: married and have babies, I'm not putting in on Facebook
Speaker 1: at all. And then everyone's going to be so shocked,
Speaker 1: be like I had no idea. I'm like, well, maybe
Speaker 1: you should live off the internet. Wait you're wait, so
Speaker 1: no one's gonna know you're married or have kids. No
Speaker 1: one's going to know when I get engaged. I mean
Speaker 1: we'll say I say this now, maybe that's the first
Speaker 1: thing to do. But like the first thing people post
Speaker 1: when they was saying big ring photo, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna do it. I'm gonna do the opposite.
Speaker 1: I'm not good time. Do you have kids and you're
Speaker 1: saying that, no secret three of them. But anyway, so
Speaker 1: you only a naked you only have naked shoulders in
Speaker 1: your nudy kid picks. That's right. We kept a little tasteful.
Speaker 1: You are from the Midwest, Yeah, I'm from the Midwest.
Speaker 1: Did she Oh she didn't talk to you about it
Speaker 1: until much later on much later. Yeah, this was like
Speaker 1: a couple of years ago, and she like had a
Speaker 1: flashback over a glass of you know, peanot noir. We
Speaker 1: we talked through it. But but yeah, I think we
Speaker 1: were always doing like a little weird slumber party stuff
Speaker 1: where it's like let's dress up sexy, you know, like
Speaker 1: put on the Spice girls and be like I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do this. Its my Tube Tap Whoop series. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: put your tap your shirt through the bottom of your
Speaker 1: shirts in the top and you make up. Yeah. That
Speaker 1: was like a goddamn bad bitch. And then when I
Speaker 1: was in high school, I always had like crushes all
Speaker 1: my teachers and stuff I did. Yeah, I probably did
Speaker 1: you try and act on one of them? Ever, I did,
Speaker 1: But I think I was like so weird it probably
Speaker 1: like never even like occurred to the dudes that I
Speaker 1: was sitting on, and I was probably like, Hey, what
Speaker 1: would your superpower be? If you could have a superpower,
Speaker 1: that was you hitting on a teacher? So weird in
Speaker 1: high school I did. When I was in college, I
Speaker 1: sent an anonymous Valentine's note to my astronomy professor, who
Speaker 1: I had a burning desire for. You would professor I put?
Speaker 1: I put, I think you're one in a million, but
Speaker 1: I wrote it in scientific notation, Oh my god, one
Speaker 1: in one time? Sten do this? Wow? Do you think
Speaker 1: he would have liked that? That was the type of
Speaker 1: nerdy professor that would have enjoyed that. I think he
Speaker 1: was actually really disturbed by it because I noticed him.
Speaker 1: I worked at the observatory. I was like one of
Speaker 1: the telescope operators. And then I noticed, for like the
Speaker 1: next couple of days, he seemed like very nervous, And
Speaker 1: then I was like At the time, I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: he probably just didn't want to lose his job, But
Speaker 1: now I'm like, no, he probably looked like a child,
Speaker 1: so he probably was not attracted to a little boy body.
Speaker 1: But also maybe he was just like no one had
Speaker 1: ever had a crush on him before. Maybe yeah, maybe
Speaker 1: that made it feel real good. I always invite him
Speaker 1: to my comedy shows. Dr Martony, if you're out there
Speaker 1: for you, please come out the handsommer. You just loved
Speaker 1: his personality. I have kind of a weird taste in men.
Speaker 1: But he's unconventionally handsome. We have what kind of guys
Speaker 1: have you dated? Because you're okay, Katie, for all of
Speaker 1: you that don't know is your beautiful girl. You're very
Speaker 1: nerdy and you have like that in the cutest way,
Speaker 1: Like you're very smart, but like you wouldn't know unless
Speaker 1: you to know you, Like I didn't know you were
Speaker 1: nerdy until I mean really recently were you just talked
Speaker 1: about scientific theory and ship But yeah, but you're very
Speaker 1: smart and you're beautiful and you're cool, and I feel
Speaker 1: like everyone's in love with you all the time. I
Speaker 1: have a weird taste. Well, I mean, I'm pretty sexually
Speaker 1: attracted to Paul Giamati. You know, so, Katie, I makes
Speaker 1: a lot of sense. I've dated guys who are like
Speaker 1: conventionally handsome, and I'm always kind of like, yeah, like gross,
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, because your last boyfriend was pretty conventionally handsome,
Speaker 1: I would say, right the writer, Oh yeah he was.
Speaker 1: Oh he's engaged. Now, by the way, are you fucking
Speaker 1: kidding a second? So angry right now. I don't know
Speaker 1: anything about that. I didn't mean to bring that out. No,
Speaker 1: it's okay. No, he he was conventionally handsome. I felt
Speaker 1: like I was attracted to him. But he was also
Speaker 1: really short, so he had he had that he was
Speaker 1: I mean, how short is really short? It was five three?
Speaker 1: Oh wow, Yeah he was pretty short. That's like me,
Speaker 1: but you dated him. Yeah, like short eyes. I find
Speaker 1: that they try here that short guys because they have
Speaker 1: to that. They try harder in the vagina department. Really,
Speaker 1: they're good at eating girls out. Yeah, I've like, never
Speaker 1: come having sex with a tall guy. Wait, guys are
Speaker 1: better in bed. Amazing kidding. We just spread this to
Speaker 1: the world because a lot of times guys like like, like,
Speaker 1: what are the issues? Is like, girls don't give me
Speaker 1: a chance because I'm sure they'll see me in real
Speaker 1: life after seeing me on Tinder like chip on their shoulder.
Speaker 1: But that's also why I like them. I have a
Speaker 1: joke that's like I don't I'm like, oh, I love
Speaker 1: a short man. I'm like, actually, I love angry guy,
Speaker 1: you know, because they're all like so angry is the
Speaker 1: chip about being rejected because they're right feel short dudes
Speaker 1: feel that tall dudes exclude them, and they also make
Speaker 1: fun of them. Take caace. Do tall dudes do that
Speaker 1: they do? It's like it's just like bro affection, you know,
Speaker 1: would be like if girls, like if we made fun
Speaker 1: of like a fat girl and we're like, you're so fat, Diane,
Speaker 1: Oh that's horrible. Yeah, And I don't do that. Well,
Speaker 1: not to their faces. My god, Diane always like I don't,
Speaker 1: I mean, I mean will do for sure. Well, I
Speaker 1: have friends that are really overweight, and like we talk
Speaker 1: about it in person. Oh, I prefer overweight friends because
Speaker 1: they're always down to eat. Fucking that's like I actually
Speaker 1: had Oh that's that was on my to do list. Fine,
Speaker 1: and a fat friend. I'm not even working with you. Well,
Speaker 1: I just listened to that podcast about the girl's book
Speaker 1: about being fat. Julia. No, I can't remember her. I
Speaker 1: know what you're talking about, the one who was just
Speaker 1: like it's on her on a couch and like a
Speaker 1: white thing. It's not Linda wet lind Linda West. That's
Speaker 1: a different Okay, Yeah, I love Linda West, and I
Speaker 1: mean listening to that, I was like, yeah, I totally
Speaker 1: agree with her. Well, she she talked about working for
Speaker 1: Dan Savage, and Dan Savage saying d huge like really
Speaker 1: negative comments, but like we say things here that are jokes.
Speaker 1: But honestly, one of the reasons why we joke about
Speaker 1: it is because I have friends that overweight. We joke
Speaker 1: about it all the time, Like they joke about it
Speaker 1: to me. But no one hates fat people more than
Speaker 1: attractive gay men. I will say that really so weird
Speaker 1: it disturbs them. Yeah, and she like tried to explain
Speaker 1: it to Dan, and Dan kind of seemed like whatever
Speaker 1: pulses them because i mean, like we've talked about it before,
Speaker 1: it's a very esthetically based like kind of culture. Like
Speaker 1: the hot gay guys, like hot hot gay dudes are
Speaker 1: even worse than hot girls who really bad god or
Speaker 1: who are pretty bad. Yeah, well I'm cool with everybody.
Speaker 1: I mean I'm not cool with most people. But it's
Speaker 1: not We'll see that's that's just says as that's a
Speaker 1: quality as well, you hate everybody? Yeah, yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: it's not it has something to deal with, you know,
Speaker 1: being fat or whatever. I usually do like prefer fat people.
Speaker 1: I like them because because they eating. Yeah, yeah, you
Speaker 1: probably hate. I'm like, I'll eat a little feed. Well
Speaker 1: I'm full. Well you do eat, you eat frequently like
Speaker 1: a bird. But I just know that when we're at
Speaker 1: a restaurant, Karin get you need to were up. I
Speaker 1: remember one time, like Christina, like, you're you're good at
Speaker 1: eating in the day, but then you don't do dinner
Speaker 1: a lot. I don't really And then one time we
Speaker 1: just didn't get to dinner and then the morning, I
Speaker 1: was like, I need to like eat a sandwich like
Speaker 1: now at like nine because like we just didn't eat dinner.
Speaker 1: Last night when Nashville, I ordered pancakes and an omelet.
Speaker 1: Remember that, Yeah, I do remember that. Was like to
Speaker 1: be real proud of me. I have to eat pretty frequently. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I eat all like I eat all the time, but
Speaker 1: it's just very little bits. You have a sweet tooth,
Speaker 1: which I love. I love sweet stuff. I love sweet
Speaker 1: stuff so much. You're like, I'll eat like you're eating dinner,
Speaker 1: Like I'll have a cookie. Back to the guys you
Speaker 1: date so short, This is so fascinated that short guys
Speaker 1: are more attentive to women. In total, how many short
Speaker 1: guys have you dated enough to know? Enough enough to know?
Speaker 1: I mean I would consider anybody um five ten or
Speaker 1: under short, Okay, yeah I would. I'd say, actually, the
Speaker 1: guys I've dated who are like five ten are like
Speaker 1: not as good as the guys who I've dated who
Speaker 1: are like under five seven. That would make sense to
Speaker 1: anybody over six ft is like I'm tall, So there's
Speaker 1: that piss because if that's not my experience, but because
Speaker 1: I was, like, the worst person in bed was a
Speaker 1: short guy for me, but it was also because of
Speaker 1: his dick, Like it just wasn't there. Really. Yeah, I've
Speaker 1: always dated middle height guys five nine I think, but
Speaker 1: that to me, I mean I couldn't date a tall guy.
Speaker 1: For me. I couldn't do it because I'm like, I
Speaker 1: feel like we're not equals, Like you're like dad or something.
Speaker 1: He's all big and stuff. It's gross. I mean that
Speaker 1: makes sense because my dad's six six, so it's probably
Speaker 1: some kind of a dad complex and every all the
Speaker 1: men in my life are very tall. When Ardashian dated
Speaker 1: Chris Humphries, I remember just seeing pictures of them like randomly,
Speaker 1: you know, in magazines, And I'm like that, how do
Speaker 1: you enjoy that? You're like two different species? Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: I had climb him and then he's got to bend down.
Speaker 1: Like I don't know. I just so like I don't
Speaker 1: like to date a guy with like a huge penis
Speaker 1: because vagina, yeah, like tiny vagina china. I really don't know.
Speaker 1: I like have never measured it compared to I like
Speaker 1: a guy with like a penis that's like slightly above average.
Speaker 1: You know, that's all that I need. But like I
Speaker 1: when I was in college, I was dating this guy
Speaker 1: who was six three for several years, and like whenever
Speaker 1: we have sex, it was just like I mean probably
Speaker 1: because like he didn't know what he was doing. Also, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was big dick he did. It was a lot
Speaker 1: of friction, a lot of rug burned down the rug
Speaker 1: burn Wait, what happened with this other boyfriend that? Oh yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I'm talking about it. So I mean, how long were
Speaker 1: you dating your previous boyfriend because weren't you living together
Speaker 1: at one time? Okay, we were dating each other for
Speaker 1: about nine months when things got bad, and then we
Speaker 1: stayed together for another seven months. Maybe is he sure
Speaker 1: or medium? He's sure, that's the guy who just got engaged.
Speaker 1: He's totally shut. But we're friends though, so I don't
Speaker 1: want to say anything shitty about even though I may
Speaker 1: have said something to you personally before. No, that's fine.
Speaker 1: Well no, it was more like kind of like, what
Speaker 1: are your feelings? Like? It's so interesting, especially like in
Speaker 1: this age of social media that we have to watch
Speaker 1: our exes get engaged. Did you have like a told
Speaker 1: me that they were going to get engaged? We had
Speaker 1: brunch a couple months ago when he came into town.
Speaker 1: We always like see each other, which is so nice,
Speaker 1: and he kind of told me. But I mean even
Speaker 1: when I saw it on Facebook, I still like felt
Speaker 1: my heart kind of dropped, you know, because you still
Speaker 1: have feelings or was it? Did it the relationship end abruptly? Um? Well,
Speaker 1: he basically told me he didn't really like me anymore,
Speaker 1: and then we kind of still saw each other for
Speaker 1: like a little while after that, but it just we're
Speaker 1: just were not right for each other on a bunch
Speaker 1: of levels. But I was like clinging to it, you know,
Speaker 1: especially because I find it so hard to date people
Speaker 1: as a comedian, to have them understand the schedule and
Speaker 1: just understand how funny I am. You know, that's like
Speaker 1: the big part of it. If they don't laugh at me,
Speaker 1: I can't like, you don't understand, you know, they're like,
Speaker 1: oh good, I'm like, you know, you're like, I'm sucking
Speaker 1: brilliant and you have no idea right now. But that
Speaker 1: is true, that's not I mean, they need to understand
Speaker 1: the importance of humor and good humor versus bad humor
Speaker 1: versus you know, the age. That's where my boyfriend now,
Speaker 1: I mean, he gets it. Yeah he does. He sure?
Speaker 1: Is he short? He shut? Sure? Yeah, Well he's he's
Speaker 1: such a good six five seven maybe yeah, maybe steven
Speaker 1: taller than I think is like average until you get
Speaker 1: to six and then six it up is tall. Maybe
Speaker 1: he's five six. I'm not sure he's like he's like,
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know. I feel like he's like
Speaker 1: a little taller than me. When girls always lie about
Speaker 1: their height too, though, they should always round it up
Speaker 1: because you could be like, I mean, I can't tell
Speaker 1: either way. If you say you're six foot and your
Speaker 1: five five, obviously that's a little reprepency. But I can't
Speaker 1: like I know girls like I remember when I was,
Speaker 1: especially when I was in college and in high school
Speaker 1: even too, Like I want to date a guys like
Speaker 1: five nine ten, I'm like, I don't care. I want
Speaker 1: him to be a nice person. Yeah, serious that my
Speaker 1: flowers bitch. Yeah, well, I don't understand on Tinder why,
Speaker 1: Like it's just like, yes, height is such a huge deal.
Speaker 1: I mean, like, lets you have you are actually a
Speaker 1: little person where I need to like change things in
Speaker 1: my home for you, which I'm still open to, but
Speaker 1: I just like, give me your heads. Guys make more
Speaker 1: of an issue of it than girls. Because guys, I
Speaker 1: mean obviously, if a dude's getting rejected on Tinder, he
Speaker 1: needs to justify it to himself more than his face
Speaker 1: is ugly. So he'll be like, oh well most because
Speaker 1: I'm sure. Yeah, yeah, that's good. I had a friend
Speaker 1: who was Indian and he would always go on a
Speaker 1: tie right about how like white girls didn't want to
Speaker 1: date him. I set him up with my friend the
Speaker 1: hottest though he was hot, he fucked her and then
Speaker 1: never called her. Oh I want to shore. I was
Speaker 1: like going on about how white girls wouldn't date him.
Speaker 1: I was like, what about yeah, what did he say Shannon?
Speaker 1: And yeah, what did he say about Shannon? I don't know,
Speaker 1: he just never know what was a mess it was?
Speaker 1: And then well then I felt like I had to
Speaker 1: cut off the friendship, you know, right, because then that's
Speaker 1: kind of it was the girl like, hey, is he
Speaker 1: going to call me back? Or what did you get?
Speaker 1: Find yourself being stuck in the middle, Like she was like, well,
Speaker 1: I asked him to buy me a sandwich in the morning,
Speaker 1: and he did so. I don't know what where we
Speaker 1: went wrong. I was like, because in his head, he
Speaker 1: feel like, no, you're supposed to make the sandwich. Well,
Speaker 1: you can hump and dump someone, but you don't hump
Speaker 1: and dump someone that your friend referred to you. It's
Speaker 1: a good one. Yeah, because it's like, I don't know
Speaker 1: the great phrase m and dump I never heard. I
Speaker 1: listened to a lot of a lot of pop punk
Speaker 1: in my ear. These are great phrases, you guys. Yeah, Well,
Speaker 1: because that's the thing, like you like, it's like when
Speaker 1: someone refers you for a job, like you gotta just
Speaker 1: be little bit more well behaved. When a friend hooks
Speaker 1: you up with one of their friends, you don't damage,
Speaker 1: have you had a lot of experiences with guys having
Speaker 1: crushes on you and that you need to like, yes,
Speaker 1: I feel like you do. I'm very well, I don't
Speaker 1: really get that many stalkers, but because I like, um,
Speaker 1: shut it down pretty quickly. I have like a technique
Speaker 1: that I what's your technique? Well, I mean I think
Speaker 1: that guys seem to think I'm really accessible because I'm
Speaker 1: like a comedian, you know, and I'm also I'm like
Speaker 1: an eight. I'm not like a ten, you know, so
Speaker 1: there are more glasses. Yeah, I can get her, you know.
Speaker 1: So I have had like a lot of guys just
Speaker 1: like come on to me randomly, and I have two
Speaker 1: techniques all use. If they're like trying to like, um,
Speaker 1: you know, go beat around the bush, you know, and
Speaker 1: they'll be like, oh, I was thinking of you. I'll
Speaker 1: just completely change this. I'll continually change the subject every
Speaker 1: time they try to like, and then I'll just be like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, earlier today I thought I left my
Speaker 1: gas on. It was so weird, you know, just like
Speaker 1: bring up a totally random subject. Do they get it
Speaker 1: most of the time? Does it work? No? No, they
Speaker 1: never do. But then I kind of like I'm kind
Speaker 1: of like out. You know, it's like a safety you know.
Speaker 1: So they never directly asked me out, so I never
Speaker 1: have to like directly say no. But if somebody is
Speaker 1: being direct, I'm just like, I would never date you.
Speaker 1: Oh you say that, Yeah, I'm like, I'm like, that's
Speaker 1: more direct than I. Oh, totally, well, I mean a monster,
Speaker 1: and she doesn't seem like one direct cut it. Cut
Speaker 1: it out as soon as you can, just so that
Speaker 1: they don't get the wrong impression. This is what I do.
Speaker 1: This is what I do right after it though, because
Speaker 1: I don't want to damage like the friendship or make
Speaker 1: them feel bad. I'm always like super nice right after,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm like, and then I then I am
Speaker 1: like I want to go get a muffin. Yeah, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I would never date you. But and then I kind
Speaker 1: of just like I'm I don't know. I feel like
Speaker 1: just from doing stand up, I'm really good at kind
Speaker 1: of recovering from well, especially do if they are a comic.
Speaker 1: I would imagine like I could take it, they could
Speaker 1: take honestly, but sometimes do male comedians can be sensitive
Speaker 1: to me, I was like, male comedians probably can take
Speaker 1: it the worst. Well, but then I know some of
Speaker 1: them that you can be so directed honest with it.
Speaker 1: It's so refreshing and wonderful. So I don't know, you
Speaker 1: never know what you're gonna get. I guess, yeah, well,
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess there are those comedians who are
Speaker 1: just used used to rejection, and then there's those that
Speaker 1: will never be used to rejection. Sometimes though, if it's
Speaker 1: a regular person, if it's somebody I don't know and
Speaker 1: I'm getting hit on, I like don't register that it's happening.
Speaker 1: That happens to me often to Like once I was
Speaker 1: um in Whole Foods and this guy came up to
Speaker 1: me and he was like, do you know where they
Speaker 1: have like little or cheeses? And I was like, fucking
Speaker 1: work here. I was so offended. And then I was
Speaker 1: selling somebody that and they were like, yeah, that guy
Speaker 1: was trying to hit I was like, oh, I was
Speaker 1: like all day. I was like, do I look like
Speaker 1: I work at a whole fool? Like what happened cut
Speaker 1: my hair or something, or it's happened. Like another time
Speaker 1: I was in some sketch with some guy and he
Speaker 1: was like, oh, can I read you the poem I wrote?
Speaker 1: I was like Okay, what he read me this like
Speaker 1: four page poem, and I was just I was like,
Speaker 1: it's really great, you know. I was like whatever, I
Speaker 1: wasn't even really paying attention. And then I told it.
Speaker 1: I told that story to my boyfriend. He was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that guy was trying to get you to make out
Speaker 1: with him and be like, oh, I love your poem.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I just thought he needed attention
Speaker 1: a little bit of boff. Yeah. Oh my god, a
Speaker 1: four page poem. I would never sit through that ship
Speaker 1: wow unless ed Girl and Poe himself got back from
Speaker 1: the dead and Sylvia plan what's up? I know. I
Speaker 1: kept trying to be like, oh, it's really good. Well anyway,
Speaker 1: and he just kept going on with the poem. Was
Speaker 1: he was selling it to you? He was blocking the door.
Speaker 1: Now that scared. That would scar me. Yeah, but I
Speaker 1: just feel like I feel like you. I feel like
Speaker 1: everyone thinks you're like you're very hot, and I didn't
Speaker 1: know if you knew or not? Do you know? Yeah?
Speaker 1: How is that? I don't want to do. But I
Speaker 1: like I couldn't live with myself, like thinking of myself
Speaker 1: as a hot person, you know, So, I mean, like
Speaker 1: my self image is more like just like a regular lady,
Speaker 1: you know. I just I can't like look in the
Speaker 1: mirror and be like, wow, I'm so hot. I like
Speaker 1: look at myself and I'm like, I gotta I have
Speaker 1: all these things I need to do. I can't have time.
Speaker 1: People say, like, sometimes I'll stare at myself in the mirror,
Speaker 1: but only if like I'm doing makeup or my hair,
Speaker 1: Like I'll be in front of the mirror while if
Speaker 1: I'm fixing up myself trying to make a certain look
Speaker 1: in my like aesthetically. But do you think hot people
Speaker 1: just like stare themselves and they're like some do when
Speaker 1: some don't. Yeah, it's not bad if you do. I
Speaker 1: think sometimes unattractive look at the mirror and said, yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean like there are days when I'm like, wow,
Speaker 1: you fucking got real lucky, and then some days I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I can't even some days I'll like sit in from
Speaker 1: the mirror naked and like stick out my belly as
Speaker 1: far as I can, and after like a crazy meal,
Speaker 1: like it goes out far. Yeah, it's like I'm pregnant.
Speaker 1: Oh I do that all the time. I love it. Well,
Speaker 1: I love because it's fun to pretend that you're gonna
Speaker 1: be pregnant, like when I have no intentions of ever
Speaker 1: being there. So I'm like, well, I got it, baby,
Speaker 1: this is what it must be like, I understand it.
Speaker 1: There have been times when well, I remember one time
Speaker 1: I wasn't seeing anybody for a while and I kind
Speaker 1: of was feeling like, you know, I'm kind of like mousey,
Speaker 1: you know, And then I ended up seeing this guy
Speaker 1: and it like flipped the switch and I was like,
Speaker 1: all of a sudden started feeling really sexy and I
Speaker 1: was yeah, I was like looking in the mirror myself naked.
Speaker 1: I was like, whoa, I bucked it. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: And I do want this, yeah yeah, you do. You
Speaker 1: like things that you do when you need to like
Speaker 1: give yourself like an emotional like pep talk or do
Speaker 1: you have any like oh my god, I feel like
Speaker 1: it's like a really single day. I look at myself
Speaker 1: in the in the mirror and like look in my
Speaker 1: eyes like Christina, you pump yourself off. Oh hell yeah,
Speaker 1: and it works. I listened to a lot of pit Bull,
Speaker 1: you know, it's just very inspirational. Yeah, my life from
Speaker 1: a negative to positive. But you know, I have like
Speaker 1: all these why have a positivity crystal that I like
Speaker 1: charge with positive orgy know, how do you charge it?
Speaker 1: You just hold it? And I'm just like, I'm just like,
Speaker 1: you know, I just try to think like the best
Speaker 1: thoughts I can and visualize myself like, you know, doing
Speaker 1: really great things. And I try to think about the
Speaker 1: things that I want in my life, and you know,
Speaker 1: think about the things that I'm really grateful to have
Speaker 1: in my life. It's super it's super exectul Yeah. Well, positivity,
Speaker 1: I think positive thinking and stuff can change so anyone's life.
Speaker 1: Like it's such a quick thing to like boost you up. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's It's interesting too. You can get caught in like
Speaker 1: negative manners of thinking. I mean it's like all your
Speaker 1: family is done, then you probably like a reason what
Speaker 1: you still have to be talk to? Oprah says, it's
Speaker 1: your choice. It is your choice, a goddamn angel. Write
Speaker 1: on a lot of stuff with that. But what if
Speaker 1: you have actual clinical depression? Well yeah, all right, so
Speaker 1: maybe not all the time impression though. I mean I
Speaker 1: have struggle with depression for years, but I think a
Speaker 1: lot of times when I go through like a bad
Speaker 1: period of depression, it's because I'm not taking care of myself. Well,
Speaker 1: I only do drugs and stuff sometimes, you know, well
Speaker 1: like kind of well like you know, trooms or like cocaine.
Speaker 1: I'm always gonna say, can do can sunk up your
Speaker 1: body and you're like not sleeping, right, and then you
Speaker 1: go through like a long period of like not taking
Speaker 1: care of yourself, then you're going to be depressed. But
Speaker 1: if you can recognize the signs and kind of like
Speaker 1: kind of be like oh oopsies, or like if you
Speaker 1: don't drink for like two days, give your body what
Speaker 1: it needs rest and like because sometimes you've got a
Speaker 1: mope for a day or whatever. Yeah, well, I mean
Speaker 1: have you been on antidepressants? No? No, I've never taken
Speaker 1: anything like that. Okay, So but it is it is
Speaker 1: it like have you been diagnosed with clinical depression or
Speaker 1: is it like people? Yeah? I think, but it's like,
Speaker 1: I mean you can anybody could get that diagnosis, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. I know I always think about
Speaker 1: it because it wants to diagnosis. Yeah, you just have
Speaker 1: to go and talk to somebody and be like I'm sad, right, Well,
Speaker 1: but I mean there is a difference, and that's what
Speaker 1: I always get confused. About because I like, I do
Speaker 1: certainly get depressed sometimes, but I'm just like I don't
Speaker 1: think I don't think it is clinical depression ship but
Speaker 1: you never you never like sit at home and don't
Speaker 1: take care of yourself. It's never staying bad all weekend.
Speaker 1: Like it's I think it's defense between getting depressed for
Speaker 1: like a weekend or being depressed for like months, right,
Speaker 1: I mean like there because it's like a For me,
Speaker 1: the only alarm is like sometimes there is that feeling
Speaker 1: of like I truly have no motivation to do anything,
Speaker 1: but that's sometimes you're just tired. Not for me that
Speaker 1: it's like because you think of things that are like
Speaker 1: characteristic of you and so it's not. But it's like
Speaker 1: either I mean no, no, Like I'm like now it's
Speaker 1: like BIPO because I'm like he's either like I'm doing
Speaker 1: everything or I'm doing absolutely nothing, like I will stare
Speaker 1: at a ceiling for five hours, like I've totally. One
Speaker 1: thing that helped me was I went I went to
Speaker 1: this UM therapist too. She did like a UM drug assessment,
Speaker 1: like drunk dependency assessment. She was like your high risk
Speaker 1: for like a drunk addictually interesting and how do you
Speaker 1: know you take a test and she was like, your
Speaker 1: high risk if you aren't like you know, whatever number
Speaker 1: you get, it just has to questions about your lifestyle. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: And so then once she was like, that's probably contributing
Speaker 1: a lot. And that was a while ago. Once I
Speaker 1: kind of like cut back. Well, I feel like if
Speaker 1: you had aware. There was a period where I was
Speaker 1: taking anneral, like way too much, but I want and
Speaker 1: then I was like afraid of existing without it. I
Speaker 1: was like, well what if? But it could be better
Speaker 1: if I just took adderal. And then but once for me,
Speaker 1: I realized that like being the state of being with
Speaker 1: like no substances is my favorite part. It's like my
Speaker 1: favorite state. Yeah, that's what it's like, like loving yourself
Speaker 1: and being happy with just being existing. I mean I
Speaker 1: feel like that too. I started smoking weed when I
Speaker 1: was like maybe fourteen or fifteen, okay, and so it
Speaker 1: was like for a long time for me, I just
Speaker 1: didn't really know what it was like to not be,
Speaker 1: like to feel to not to like have a good
Speaker 1: time not on drops. But like the past, you know,
Speaker 1: a couple of years, I mean like I'll go through
Speaker 1: like periods where I'm like, oh, you know, like right
Speaker 1: before while I just turned thirty, so like the past
Speaker 1: month has been a little bit of a blur. But
Speaker 1: now I'm like down. But it's nice to you know,
Speaker 1: if you can just be like in control of yourself. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but would stop it? How do you handle people? All?
Speaker 1: Like do you actually enjoy going to parties and like
Speaker 1: having a bunch of people talk to you? Actually? I
Speaker 1: hate that and that's why I have to get drunk. No,
Speaker 1: but I I just hate so much. I know I
Speaker 1: hate it too, but I thought you you're I was
Speaker 1: like hating my own birthday party. I was like, why
Speaker 1: did I even do this? I was like, I should
Speaker 1: just stay at home. You guys are inforted that I'm introverted. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because that's because extraverts get their energy. I read an
Speaker 1: article they get their energy off of like talking to
Speaker 1: other people, because like, when I'm in a bad mood,
Speaker 1: talking to somebody else pumps me up. They could it
Speaker 1: could be the deadly guy, Like I do get energy
Speaker 1: from that. But like with you guys, it's like you
Speaker 1: feel like from what I read, introverts like everyone just
Speaker 1: sucks the energy out of them and they're like, no, yeah,
Speaker 1: that makes me feel better, usually or eating a pizza.
Speaker 1: Since I haven't been at my day job, it's actually
Speaker 1: been a lot easier for me. But the thing is,
Speaker 1: I mean when you go to parties, there are a
Speaker 1: lot of people who are just like energy vampires, and
Speaker 1: then they don't want to like have a conversation with
Speaker 1: you about like a documentary watched about womanhood. They just
Speaker 1: want to be like, how's your day. It's like my
Speaker 1: throat's hurting talking to you, you know. So I think
Speaker 1: that's more what I hate pet p because it's like
Speaker 1: life is too short. Why you wasting the time right now?
Speaker 1: But a lot I think of the population doesn't know
Speaker 1: anything else that are so socially awkward, and then they
Speaker 1: feel the need to, like you know, not be standing
Speaker 1: there in silence, which honestly, that would be more offices.
Speaker 1: People feel so uncomfortable in silence, And I was like,
Speaker 1: if I was at a party and someone sat down
Speaker 1: next to me on the couch and didn't say a word,
Speaker 1: I would be so comfortable. So that makes me next
Speaker 1: to them in silence and let me eating potato chips. Great.
Speaker 1: I had this roommate in college named Sasha, and one
Speaker 1: of the first days together. Um, we took a walk
Speaker 1: from like Grammarcy to Chinatown, which is a pretty long
Speaker 1: walk in complete silence, and I was like, this is
Speaker 1: my fucking new best friend. Yeah, that's great. I loved it.
Speaker 1: But it was weird and I liked her a lot.
Speaker 1: It was just quite nice. I was always super shy,
Speaker 1: but from doing stand up I've grown to kind of
Speaker 1: enjoy like meeting new people more just because you know,
Speaker 1: like I have, I feel more confident like talking to
Speaker 1: people and being like, oh, where are you from? You know,
Speaker 1: kind of like finding the common ground and and doing that.
Speaker 1: But if it's just like some random person who I like,
Speaker 1: I always see and they're always like hey, and You're
Speaker 1: just like hey, and then what do you want from me?
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'll see somebody that I haven't seen in years
Speaker 1: or a long time, or just somebody really I know,
Speaker 1: well in a place like the grocery store or something,
Speaker 1: and I'm just i' avoid them. I don't want to.
Speaker 1: Rather not terrible, but I just rather not stay high rank.
Speaker 1: I do that too, I avoid people. I Mean that's
Speaker 1: not bad. I don't think. I just don't feel like
Speaker 1: especially on the train, and it's like, well, there goes
Speaker 1: an hour that you have to like listen to this
Speaker 1: person's like spiral of a life. But in the age
Speaker 1: of social media, I usually know exactly what they're up to,
Speaker 1: so it's like I don't need to hear you, Like,
Speaker 1: you don't need to now tell me verbally what I
Speaker 1: already know. And then I have to ask like fake
Speaker 1: questions like I don't know exactly what you're like, I
Speaker 1: haven't stalking here. Yeah, I'm like, I know exactly what
Speaker 1: you're doing. You just oh, you just got engaged. Your
Speaker 1: ring is so tight you hut it out there for
Speaker 1: everyone to see you. Okay, Now you're telling me so
Speaker 1: that you went on some crazy dates over your lifetime.
Speaker 1: Do you want to share any of those stories? I
Speaker 1: love to. I would love to. Well, I I mean,
Speaker 1: I think people like underestimate me a little bit because,
Speaker 1: like I said, I'm mousey, but sometimes, you know, I
Speaker 1: like to get a little wild, especially on the first
Speaker 1: or second day. I well, I went on the state
Speaker 1: one time with a guy and we went to the
Speaker 1: Black Ant, which highly recommend um. But like I, like
Speaker 1: I mentioned, I have struggled with drinking way too much,
Speaker 1: especially on the first day so I was like downing
Speaker 1: Margarita's and um oh, we ate like these chili lime
Speaker 1: grasshoppers that they have or like crickets or something in
Speaker 1: this place. It's on Second Avenue, third and fourth. It's
Speaker 1: a fantastic restaurant. I love the bugs. But I was
Speaker 1: like drunk, so they were like falling out of my mouth.
Speaker 1: You know. I was like a hot mess. But anyway,
Speaker 1: then we went back to his place and I let
Speaker 1: him shave my vagina and then we had sex. Whose
Speaker 1: idea was that it was him that come up? It
Speaker 1: was his and I was kind of like, well, I've
Speaker 1: never done anything like that before. But he asked, can
Speaker 1: I shave your vagina? Yeah? Like was it sexual? It
Speaker 1: was like it was just too much bush, Like what
Speaker 1: was the Well, it was a little embarrassing because I
Speaker 1: had I was going to shave my own vagina because
Speaker 1: I was I was gonna I was going to have
Speaker 1: sex with him. Initially, Um, but I bought this like
Speaker 1: buzz cut thing at the store, like it was like
Speaker 1: a beard trimmer. But I've tried those work. I started
Speaker 1: getting freaked out about waxing because they were like he
Speaker 1: can leave small tears and then you can be more
Speaker 1: susceptible to STDs. And here's in the skin of your
Speaker 1: vagina when it rips the whole of the hair follicle,
Speaker 1: get it under. Oh yeah, so you can get you
Speaker 1: never like that and stuff like like topical. I was like,
Speaker 1: it's topical because there's no addiction to be waxing in
Speaker 1: any part. Wait, what do your service? You know? I
Speaker 1: was talking about like you know, like how sometimes like
Speaker 1: around the lip it'll go like like almost into the
Speaker 1: pink area, but like that you can't waxer, but I
Speaker 1: mean waxing, but sometimes wax too, and it's like you're waxed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it's been a while. It hurt. Yeah, it hurts
Speaker 1: too much. Brazil and waxes hurt so fucking bad. I
Speaker 1: never really, I haven't gotten one in a long time,
Speaker 1: but every time. At this point, I was like afraid.
Speaker 1: So I bought the buzz the buzzer thing, so I like,
Speaker 1: I like shaved my vagina and then I was like, oh, ship,
Speaker 1: this is like not right. It's totally prickly. Yeah, trimmed in.
Speaker 1: So I was like so to him, I was like, um, oh,
Speaker 1: this is so awkward. But and I told him the
Speaker 1: whole story. And I had met him at comedy show,
Speaker 1: so he kind of like already knew that I was
Speaker 1: a weirdo and he thought it was funny. And then
Speaker 1: he was like, let me shave you. And I was like, okay, well,
Speaker 1: I mean I would never do that, but um, he
Speaker 1: was a doctor. So he was a doctor. He was
Speaker 1: like a surgeon. So I was like, I know he
Speaker 1: served a surgeon, Shaser effects surgeon. So the surgeon shaved
Speaker 1: your vagina. Yes, I would imagine he would do a
Speaker 1: great a job. He did a great job, and it
Speaker 1: was super sexy. It was hot. It wasn't it was
Speaker 1: super hot. It's the thing that people do. He just
Speaker 1: used like a regular like a regular non mechanical razor. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like a like for his his beard. Yeah, that's trust there,
Speaker 1: that's why it was. Your pubes were in his hair raiser.
Speaker 1: That's like that is a lot of true. It was
Speaker 1: super sexy. Yeah. How long did it last like a
Speaker 1: regular like the regular amount it takes you to shave
Speaker 1: your vagina maybe, like I don't know, fifteen minutes or
Speaker 1: is there any I guess he was just like shave
Speaker 1: me with one hand and just holding your stomach with
Speaker 1: the other. I'm like, he had this like fancy apartment,
Speaker 1: so he had this like a little shower that had
Speaker 1: like a little seat in it, so I was like
Speaker 1: sitting on the seat and then he was just like
Speaker 1: going at it. Wow, And I would think that was
Speaker 1: like his thing, Like do you think he had done
Speaker 1: that before? He later told me. He later told me
Speaker 1: that he shaved his wife's vagina, and I was like,
Speaker 1: his current wife, Well, I thought they were divorced at
Speaker 1: that time. They were not. I know, it's the separated.
Speaker 1: I don't know, things were going well, thanks going maybe
Speaker 1: out of town. Yeah, yeah, she wasn't in the apartment
Speaker 1: while he was shaved, so that's important. Almost she was
Speaker 1: out of town sucking someone else. Yeah, maybe she was
Speaker 1: getting some dick. Yeah, fingers crossed, Hell, yeah, get some
Speaker 1: d So I mean that's what really his responsibility, not yours.
Speaker 1: You're not married, yeah, I mean, you know, he told
Speaker 1: me he was divorced, and then only the truth started
Speaker 1: unrattling after that, after he shaved your vagina directly after no,
Speaker 1: just give me. It was like each day I kind
Speaker 1: of started like wanting to see him regularly after he
Speaker 1: shaved my vagina, because I was like, this is pretty
Speaker 1: good and then like it's a good deal. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was pretty good. But then each time I saw him,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, wait a minute, so, what's going on
Speaker 1: with your divorce? And he would and then he was like, well,
Speaker 1: I mean it's not really final. And then I was
Speaker 1: like and I was like, okay, cool, cool. And then
Speaker 1: I was like, so, like what's going on with it now?
Speaker 1: And he was like, well, I don't even know if
Speaker 1: we're going to get divorced because we have a lot
Speaker 1: of property together. And I was like okay, cool, cool, cool, Yeah, Okay,
Speaker 1: so you wus again? Did he Did he shave your
Speaker 1: vagina more than once? No? Because I think I didn't
Speaker 1: see him for like a month after that because he
Speaker 1: was out of town. And then then I think I
Speaker 1: got a wax. Has Has anyone else ever shaved your vagina? No? Wow?
Speaker 1: What a fun time? Do you like yearn for that?
Speaker 1: Like I mean, like, is that like a sexual thing?
Speaker 1: You're like, oh, I want that. Part of the reason
Speaker 1: it was so hot because like we it was like
Speaker 1: a very new relationship, you know. So it's like the
Speaker 1: thing where it was like putting putting trust in a
Speaker 1: stranger basically to not like soft my clip. I feel like,
Speaker 1: if you're too far into it, you're like, oh, maybe
Speaker 1: this is just like this equivalent of like popping. Is
Speaker 1: it for your partner? I mean, I'm maintenance. I've been
Speaker 1: in a relationship for like maybe a year and we
Speaker 1: do like some fun stuff. Yeah, we like it up. Well,
Speaker 1: you've been doing that long. Yeah. Remember last summer we
Speaker 1: were like getting together because I was at the root
Speaker 1: of it. And you've told me that you liked Ian,
Speaker 1: and then Ian told me that he liked you, and
Speaker 1: and then like final I went to the comedian Pride
Speaker 1: jecked and I ran into inn and he was like,
Speaker 1: I really, can you come to the book like me?
Speaker 1: I want to get her a flower? And he's like,
Speaker 1: can you want my bike boy carrying flower? And you're
Speaker 1: so cute? He's so cute. Now, well, I mean, first
Speaker 1: of all, me and Idan have great sex, and we
Speaker 1: have I feel like the longest that sex has ever
Speaker 1: been really good in a relationship. The first time we
Speaker 1: had sex, I came wow, And that's not like a
Speaker 1: normal It's only happened one other time when one night
Speaker 1: stand with an Australian guy. Wow, do you fake it? Oh? Previously, yeah,
Speaker 1: I have. Well one time I was like faking it
Speaker 1: and I ended up kind of just like laughing in
Speaker 1: the guy's face because I was like doing such a
Speaker 1: bad job and I said that. I was like, it's
Speaker 1: like also a lot of vibration, and I was like,
Speaker 1: are you ucking? We just got well we oh. He
Speaker 1: bought me a body stocking. Have you ever had one
Speaker 1: of those? Okay, sex, I'm about to have one. You
Speaker 1: gotta get one. It was about to have. It's on order. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you and just buy them on the street. You can
Speaker 1: buy them from like weird little street shops. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and they have in the sex shops. But I want
Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, they're hot, I like, because he
Speaker 1: was like this is very nay, I'm like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know weird to dinner? You know much weird? Should
Speaker 1: I have in my by button holes? Yeah? I have
Speaker 1: crotchless fish nuts. They're great, so hot. Yeah, No, this
Speaker 1: is what I just got. It's a it's like a
Speaker 1: vibrating cockering but it has like a bunny on the
Speaker 1: end with two little ears like the clip for the clip.
Speaker 1: But Ian doesn't love it yet because he says it
Speaker 1: makes him feel like a mutant quote unquota over it, saying, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean he's he's like such a he's like a
Speaker 1: crunchy grandola guy. So he basically like what he wants
Speaker 1: to do is like just fuck, And I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: more like, Oh, let's pretend that you're the pizza guy,
Speaker 1: and I'm like role play. I mean, we don't as
Speaker 1: much as I would like to, but you personally probably
Speaker 1: will like by this time, next pizza guy. He was
Speaker 1: a pizza guy. Oh yeah, I could see it. He
Speaker 1: with his car with a little thing on pizza. Hello,
Speaker 1: a little pepperonia. Jeez, that would be cool. That would
Speaker 1: be good. I could I could see him being in
Speaker 1: a porno Actually yeah, because that's Stash the must so jealous.
Speaker 1: That's how I know I like him. I'm like, what
Speaker 1: the fuck? I could see him being important? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: was just like filled with rage for a tiny second.
Speaker 1: What's the most creative role you've ever played sexually? Um? Well,
Speaker 1: not with him, an I did. I would like used
Speaker 1: to dress up as a Catholic school girl for another
Speaker 1: guy that I dated, which was like ridiculous because I
Speaker 1: actually I was like just using my old uniform. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's hot. I don't even I think that that fetish.
Speaker 1: I was like young and dumb at the time, but
Speaker 1: I think that that fetish is so weird because it's like,
Speaker 1: what's the end game here? You're sucking a kid? Like
Speaker 1: that's true about a final Yeah, yeah, I did a
Speaker 1: Catholic school girl. I'm trying to think. I don't know
Speaker 1: if I've ever done anything, but I used to do
Speaker 1: this thing for Ian where I would like put on
Speaker 1: and this is like such an attention horrorsh thing to do.
Speaker 1: I like put on these stockings and then I would
Speaker 1: um like go around the room and I would like pose.
Speaker 1: But I was I was kind of doing it like
Speaker 1: to be funny. We're like cracking up, you know. It
Speaker 1: turned into like, yeah, well he always wants to suck me.
Speaker 1: That's a good problem, that's all right. Do you ever
Speaker 1: are your levels of horning is equal to each other
Speaker 1: at this point in time? Like, um almost, It's almost
Speaker 1: like he wanted it more in the beginning, and now
Speaker 1: I want it more now that I'm thirty. I'm just
Speaker 1: like I was like, oh, this is what it is.
Speaker 1: You know, he wants to have sex at night, but
Speaker 1: I'm too tired at night. I like can't comm at night.
Speaker 1: So I'll be like, I can't come at night and
Speaker 1: I want to have sex at like three pm, and
Speaker 1: like I'm horny. And then and so I'll be like texting, Um,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm gonna suck you tonight. I'm gonna swallow it, dick,
Speaker 1: you know, and he's like at work, He's like stop,
Speaker 1: and then like and then it'll be night and I'll
Speaker 1: be like, can you road my back? You just massaged me?
Speaker 1: And yeah, Stephen likes sucking in the morning, and I
Speaker 1: like sucking mid day? Is my is midday? I got
Speaker 1: to wait. Sex is great? Yeah, yeah, that's when I
Speaker 1: like really wanted. So I don't know. Couren told we
Speaker 1: had an interesting anal story. Oh yeah, I just lost
Speaker 1: my anal virginity just recently. Yeah, congratulation, thank you. Well.
Speaker 1: I had anyal sex once in college, but it was
Speaker 1: an accident, so I'm not even counting it. Like how
Speaker 1: does one have an accidental Well, my boyfriend at the
Speaker 1: time just put it in my butt, but he thought
Speaker 1: it was my vagina and then I was like, I
Speaker 1: was like, wow, I feel so much closer to you,
Speaker 1: and he was like, what are you talking about? And
Speaker 1: we actually were broken up at that time, so it
Speaker 1: was like even more of a slap in the face
Speaker 1: with his cock, you know. So so then I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm not even counting it. It was so it was
Speaker 1: like the gift of the Magi almost. I was like, wow,
Speaker 1: I gave my butt to you and he was like
Speaker 1: he was like, it was so ridiculous an accident. But
Speaker 1: I wanted to have butt sex because I was about
Speaker 1: certain thirty, which I just did, and so you know,
Speaker 1: now I'm a freak. Yeah does your you get horny
Speaker 1: or you do get horny? Or when you're like are
Speaker 1: you hurting cornier than you were ten days ago? I
Speaker 1: can't even tell. Okay, yeah, maybe I'll have sex tonight,
Speaker 1: who knows, but I yeah, so well, Ian always wanted
Speaker 1: to put in my butt for a while, but I
Speaker 1: was like no, but also of like birth control is
Speaker 1: an issue because I don't want to take it. And
Speaker 1: then I kind of want Ian to get a v
Speaker 1: sect to me and he's like, well, I'm thinking about it,
Speaker 1: um if you canna get reversed, I know, but he's
Speaker 1: so young. Though I didn't get it reversed. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's a lot to ask. How about you going to
Speaker 1: get an operation? And then well, getting like a guy
Speaker 1: is an operation. Well also, I mean and if you're
Speaker 1: sobody who's like negatively affected by hormonal birth control as
Speaker 1: a woman, like that sucks. That's like a life changing thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's really hard. Yeah, yeah, but he doesn't ever want
Speaker 1: to be you don't like Yeah, but I happily take
Speaker 1: birth control though he doesn't want to use condoms. And then,
Speaker 1: like I love him so much that I'm like, who
Speaker 1: can can he not get Can he not get it
Speaker 1: hard without a condom? Because you can fix that. No,
Speaker 1: that's not really the issue. He just is like a
Speaker 1: bad He just doesn't like me. It's just a bad boy.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's like anyone out there who's having
Speaker 1: sex with condoms, keep doing because once you taste the
Speaker 1: forbidden fruit, even and then I go back and forth
Speaker 1: with condoms and no condoms, like sometimes and honestly, sometimes
Speaker 1: I just want to a condom because I don't want
Speaker 1: to get up to go to the bathroom after and
Speaker 1: like p the jis out love it just being inside
Speaker 1: though I like it. I do like it, and sometimes
Speaker 1: I'll crave it and stuff. But then I'm like, it's
Speaker 1: just it's easier cleanup. And he doesn't seem to obviously again,
Speaker 1: but it does. Like I mean, my emotional state is
Speaker 1: like so fragile works for me. I only take the
Speaker 1: new ring, but I don't even have health insurance right now,
Speaker 1: so I'm sure it would be like has pretty cheaper,
Speaker 1: and I don't know, it's not generic. There's no generic
Speaker 1: brand that you like A patch as well? Oh no,
Speaker 1: I I was on the patch and then they took
Speaker 1: it off the market because I was getting everybody blood cloths.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I would get a shot, I would get I
Speaker 1: would get the shot maybe, but but you still get
Speaker 1: you still get the hormones. Well, there's not clos associated
Speaker 1: with everything, like including the pill. There's blood cloths for sure. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just very So wait, how is your anal? Your
Speaker 1: first ana? It was great. I mean, well we we
Speaker 1: like tried to have anal sex once but I was
Speaker 1: like I had to like go to the airport or something,
Speaker 1: and so I was like I kind of I was
Speaker 1: like hurry, you know, and then that you can't rush it.
Speaker 1: Did you do prep for it? Um? Yeah, we had
Speaker 1: kind of been like we were like, okay, like maybe
Speaker 1: we I wanted to try it because we for some
Speaker 1: reason read this like online forum about anal sex where
Speaker 1: it was like these girls being like I love it
Speaker 1: when my boyfriend comes in my asshole and do you Yeah.
Speaker 1: It was like it was so weird. I don't We
Speaker 1: stumbled upon it, not like looking for it. We're like, oh,
Speaker 1: what is this and we're like reading it and then
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, maybe I want to do that.
Speaker 1: So we're kind of like talking about it. But then
Speaker 1: that day it was kind of like I think we
Speaker 1: probably got in like a fight or something, and I
Speaker 1: was like about to go out of town and we're
Speaker 1: like let's do it, and the really and then we're
Speaker 1: like no, we don't have time. Yeah yeah, But then
Speaker 1: we did it a different time and I I can't remember,
Speaker 1: but we did it again on the fourth of July
Speaker 1: and that was fun. So that was like the one
Speaker 1: you count is like the first time. There's a time
Speaker 1: before that though, but I can't remember. And was it
Speaker 1: how what it was it everything you wanted it to be? More?
Speaker 1: What was your expectations? Where they met like a tight
Speaker 1: bottle because I was hurting it was hurting, but no,
Speaker 1: that's everyone's butthole. It hurt. It was hurting, but I
Speaker 1: was like drunk at the time time, so I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, fine with it. And then the next day
Speaker 1: I was like, damn, my bottole hurts. Yeah. I was
Speaker 1: kind of afraid because it's like, you know, you hear
Speaker 1: those stories that are like my butthole was ripped apart.
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, your your butt hole is very resilient.
Speaker 1: Just think of like all the ships that I'm taking,
Speaker 1: some giant ships. Yeah, I've also taken some giant ships,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, okay, if that can come through. Clearly,
Speaker 1: a penis is not a problem unless you have like
Speaker 1: hemorrhoids or something like. Well that's yeah, that's why whole
Speaker 1: is fine to handle a penis. But it does it
Speaker 1: does hurt. Well, I went, I got a colonic ones
Speaker 1: and uh like, while I was in college and the
Speaker 1: ladies said I had a really tight bottle, thank you.
Speaker 1: I think she said it was very beautiful and type
Speaker 1: because I was like, because she said a lot of
Speaker 1: meant to expand. It is meant to expand. She said
Speaker 1: a lot of people, a lot of clients that she's
Speaker 1: seen who have a lot of anal sex, mostly gay men.
Speaker 1: Uh so, a lot of some she said. And I
Speaker 1: don't think she was bullshitting me, but maybe she was.
Speaker 1: I have no idea, but she did tell me once
Speaker 1: she had a client who he had so much anal
Speaker 1: sex that I don't I really don't think it's true.
Speaker 1: What was coming out. Well, no, it wasn't prolapsing, but
Speaker 1: it was he had a hard time keeping like digesting,
Speaker 1: like keeping it in, like when he had to go,
Speaker 1: he just went like there was no control over his
Speaker 1: bowel movement. I mean I like, yeah, I mean some
Speaker 1: like kegles. Yeah. Well, I mean I've seen some toys
Speaker 1: and in sex toys stories for the butt hole, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, is this for the butt hole or is
Speaker 1: this for like a cow's mouth. Yeah, it's like if
Speaker 1: you really want to challenge yourself, I mean, like the chance,
Speaker 1: I mean really, I mean, I don't know if I
Speaker 1: don't think it's going to become like a regular thing
Speaker 1: for me. Sorry, ian Um, but it was a good
Speaker 1: experience and I'm definitely glad I did it. That's how
Speaker 1: most like weird sex stuff is, and that's not even
Speaker 1: that weird, but like I feel like it's once in
Speaker 1: a while thing. Every once in a while thing, like
Speaker 1: nine times you're just gonna have regular sex. I like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I like doing things, you know, like that are a
Speaker 1: little out of the ordinary, you know, just keep it spice.
Speaker 1: Oh I do too that those are so exciting because
Speaker 1: I like being playful and using imagination during suck. Here's
Speaker 1: one thing I kind of like doing. That's but Ian
Speaker 1: and I haven't done in a while. But it's like
Speaker 1: Karmaseutra games, like if you're if you're in like a
Speaker 1: new if it's like a new person, but it's kind
Speaker 1: of like awkward, you know. Like once I slept with
Speaker 1: the guy and uh oh he like what he was
Speaker 1: like over my house. We like took it to the
Speaker 1: couch and then we're like in my bedroom and he
Speaker 1: was just like sitting there and so I was like
Speaker 1: close your eyes. I took off all my clothes and
Speaker 1: then I was like, I think I read this in
Speaker 1: some Karmaseutra book or I could have just made it up,
Speaker 1: but it's like a Karmeseutra game. But I was like,
Speaker 1: kiss me in ten places, but not not in my mouth,
Speaker 1: you know, and then it's like tell me, like tell
Speaker 1: me a thing to do for you or something. Was
Speaker 1: he naked? That's hot? It was so hot. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: like surprise, I'm a freak. Guys are so pleasantly surprised
Speaker 1: to like, although it makes sense, I don't know. Actually
Speaker 1: I think that there is that like a stereotype about
Speaker 1: like the quote unquote mousey girl, because I was reading
Speaker 1: up on the internet about it and it's like a
Speaker 1: fuck a mousey breunet girl, they're freaks. Oh no, I'm
Speaker 1: conforming to the stereo. It's like a sexy librarian. Like
Speaker 1: you have glasses and your hair was up and then
Speaker 1: you let it down. It's like, you know, it's like, hello,
Speaker 1: Well sometimes I don't. I never really feel sexy when
Speaker 1: I have my glasses on. Really yeah, So I like,
Speaker 1: if I go out and I want to look hot,
Speaker 1: I just won't wear glasses. But then I kind of
Speaker 1: really can't see you know. I was like, I think
Speaker 1: when glasses are fake, uh, they are sexy. Like if
Speaker 1: I have my context and I'm wearing like fun glasses,
Speaker 1: but like I'm wearing like I can't see glasses right now,
Speaker 1: and I can't Like, yeah, you can't feel sexy because
Speaker 1: like you know they're gonna have to come off and
Speaker 1: then you can't fucking see anything. And you're just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I am so blind without my glasses. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I try not to wear my glasses to like somebody's
Speaker 1: birthday party because I was like, and I also the
Speaker 1: other thing is I really can't see in dim lighting.
Speaker 1: That's like the most And I like try to set
Speaker 1: my drink down on the table, but I just like
Speaker 1: dropped it into the air because there was no table there.
Speaker 1: I was like, why did you do that? No, you
Speaker 1: don't like contacts. Um, I have never been able to
Speaker 1: wear contacts. It's just like really freaks me out. And
Speaker 1: to put the finger like anywhere near the eye really
Speaker 1: it's terrifying to me. It used to be terrifying to me.
Speaker 1: I totally get. Even when I do like shoots and stuff,
Speaker 1: it's I'm like a nightmare for the makeup person because
Speaker 1: my eyes are so twitchy. So when they put due
Speaker 1: inner eyeline or on my lower lid, I'm like, forget
Speaker 1: about it, don't even try. I'll cry. It freaks me
Speaker 1: out and I and I pook stuff content. It's like
Speaker 1: a sassy gay guy and they're like, no, I've got it.
Speaker 1: Just sit there and don't all think. Yeah, I'm like,
Speaker 1: you're not gonna I'm sorry, sorry, making me beautiful? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Um well, thank you so much for coming on. Is
Speaker 1: there anything else you want to at all? I'm glad
Speaker 1: I thought I got to the Karma Sutra tips. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a great thing. Good takeaway. I want to do
Speaker 1: that with season. Do it back into it. Where can
Speaker 1: we find you a line? I have a website. It's www.
Speaker 1: Dog Katie Hannigan dot com and I'm also at on
Speaker 1: Twitter at Katie Hannigan. Sweet, I don't put that in
Speaker 1: the description of the podcast. If you're like driving, you
Speaker 1: can't write it now right now? Perfect? Thank you so much, Katie.
Speaker 1: This is the Guys Funching Podcast. We'll talk to you
Speaker 1: next week. Fine, he took me took