Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast, where we
Speaker 1: discussed all things mental health, personal development, and all the
Speaker 1: small decisions we can make to become the best possible
Speaker 1: versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy Harden Bradford,
Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. To get more information
Speaker 1: and resources, visit the website at Therapy for Black Girls
Speaker 1: dot com. And while I hope you love listening to
Speaker 1: and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to
Speaker 1: be a substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental
Speaker 1: health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much for joining me
Speaker 1: for session eleven of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast.
Speaker 1: This week we have an on the each episode especially
Speaker 1: for all you Scandal fans. This week I am joined
Speaker 1: by special guest therapist Leslie Garcia to talk all about
Speaker 1: Olivia Pope. So, next to Mary Jane Paul from bt
Speaker 1: S being Mary Jane, Olivia Pope is the character that
Speaker 1: I have been most excited to talk with the therapist
Speaker 1: about in terms of what therapy would look like with her. Um. So,
Speaker 1: if you are a Scandal fan and have been keeping
Speaker 1: up with the seasons, you know that Olivia presents with
Speaker 1: a variety of issues that are right for um getting
Speaker 1: some therapy around. So I'm very excited to share this
Speaker 1: episode with you today. Even Carrie Washington, in a recent
Speaker 1: interview with Entertainment Weekly, said I really wish that Olivia
Speaker 1: Pope could find a good therapist, and so that's exactly
Speaker 1: what we have today. So I'm joined today by Leslie Garcia.
Speaker 1: She is a licensed clinical social worker who is the
Speaker 1: first generation American born in New York City to immigrant
Speaker 1: parents from the Dominican Republic. With the passion for the
Speaker 1: mental health and wellness for women entrepreneurs, Leslie created counseling
Speaker 1: space to help women who are struggling behind the scenes
Speaker 1: with the mental challenges that are often associated with business
Speaker 1: ownership and professional leadership. With over fifteen years of experience
Speaker 1: in the mental health field, Leslie is dedicated to changing
Speaker 1: the conversations we have about mental health and educating others
Speaker 1: on the importance of preventative mental health and mental wellness plans.
Speaker 1: Leslie has worked in settings that allowed her to serve
Speaker 1: as an advocate for immigrants, disabled individuals, and for the
Speaker 1: World Trade Center Non eleven responders. So I hope you'll
Speaker 1: enjoy this conversation and please share your feedback with us.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining me today, Leslie, tell
Speaker 1: me who you chose for us to talk about today today.
Speaker 1: I chose to talk about Olivia Pope, who is the
Speaker 1: leading actress from the show Scandal. Oh, this should be good. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: So for people who may not be familiar with Olivia
Speaker 1: Pope or Scandal, can you give us a little bit
Speaker 1: of background on her? Sure? Sure, So Olivia Pope, it's
Speaker 1: a she's the leading actress of the series Scandal, and
Speaker 1: they call her Lift. She's often referred to as Live
Speaker 1: and live as an intelligence. She she's beautiful, independent woman.
Speaker 1: She's a lawyer who owns a consulting firm. It's like
Speaker 1: a PR problem solving I would say, crisis management consulting firm.
Speaker 1: And she works with high profile clients. Her job is
Speaker 1: very demanding. She's the CEO. She's the owner of this
Speaker 1: consulting firm. And it's like I said, it's very demanding,
Speaker 1: very stressful, working with high profile clients. And and she
Speaker 1: has a very interesting background. I mean, she was raised
Speaker 1: primarily by her dad because at a young age she
Speaker 1: lost her mom due to a tragic event and she
Speaker 1: had to be raised by her dad. She's an only child,
Speaker 1: and her dad is a very strict, controlling, intimidating man
Speaker 1: who has no sympathy for mistakes. He's he has no uh,
Speaker 1: he wants no excuses for mistakes, and when he refers
Speaker 1: to her as his child, his daughter, he would say,
Speaker 1: I raised you to be a warrior. So I also
Speaker 1: feel that because of her upbringing, it's very difficult for
Speaker 1: her to accept some of the mistakes that she's made.
Speaker 1: And basically when you see the character Live, she her
Speaker 1: her lifestyle is pretty much dictated by her work. She's
Speaker 1: constantly working and she doesn't believe set time for herself
Speaker 1: to do self care. You you hardly see her socializing,
Speaker 1: going out with friends. It's mostly work most of the time.
Speaker 1: So that's been basically who she is. She's a very busy,
Speaker 1: independent entrepreneur woman. There definitely is a lot going on
Speaker 1: with Live, Um, so can you tell us about maybe
Speaker 1: some of the struggles that might lead her to therapy
Speaker 1: some of the things she has going on? Yes, so
Speaker 1: her traumatic events, I mean she has several of them.
Speaker 1: The first one as far as her childhood, losing her
Speaker 1: mom at a young age. I would also say even
Speaker 1: with her work, she was, but she was kidnapped when
Speaker 1: when she had to do some type of transaction. This
Speaker 1: was a while ago where she was kidnapped at work.
Speaker 1: And also with her job, she's exposed to traumatic events
Speaker 1: and there were times where things didn't go as planned
Speaker 1: when it came to certain clients that she helped with,
Speaker 1: and it just it caused lives. So that was also
Speaker 1: very traumatic. And live has a relationship ongoing relationship with
Speaker 1: a married man who was the leading actor of the show.
Speaker 1: His name is fitz He's the President of the United States,
Speaker 1: and that has also been traumatic for a few reasons.
Speaker 1: It's an unhealthy relationship. Um. I do believe that she
Speaker 1: has experienced some type of emotional and verbal abuse in
Speaker 1: a relationship as well. So these are these are some
Speaker 1: of the traumatic events that I feel would lead her
Speaker 1: to therapy. Okay, So it sounds like you're very much
Speaker 1: kind of thinking about her from a trauma kind of
Speaker 1: a standpoint as being like probably the thing that would
Speaker 1: most likely bring her to therapy. I agree, that's that's right, Okay. Okay,
Speaker 1: So if you could then maybe tell us a little
Speaker 1: bit about any kinds of strategies or techniques you might
Speaker 1: use with her to kind of work through some of
Speaker 1: the trauma experiences. That's a that's a great question, and
Speaker 1: I was thinking about that. I would look at her
Speaker 1: because I always think of when I see her, I
Speaker 1: see some of her her strength, but I also see
Speaker 1: her struggles and I do see the trauma. I do
Speaker 1: see that she she suffers from anxiety. And one of
Speaker 1: the techniques I feel would be very helpful for her
Speaker 1: is what we do mostly and it's very common in
Speaker 1: our fields, is the cognitive behavioral therapy to address someone
Speaker 1: to address the trauma, to address the the anxiety. Where
Speaker 1: I do feel that most of her mistakes or the
Speaker 1: trauma that she's experienced, she translates it as as self blame.
Speaker 1: She she's not very comfortable with accepting mistakes, she's not
Speaker 1: comfortable with accepting her vulnerability and asking for help. So
Speaker 1: trying to shift her mindset and how how does she
Speaker 1: interpret this trauma where it's not her faults right, where
Speaker 1: she she's not at full for it, and also how
Speaker 1: she reacts towards it as well, because she she at
Speaker 1: times and she's very irritable. You can see she's you know,
Speaker 1: sometimes anxious, on edge. You see her always sipping a
Speaker 1: glass of wine, which also for me raises a red flag.
Speaker 1: She you what we see live drinking wine to relax
Speaker 1: and and unwine. So those are the techniques that that
Speaker 1: I would use approaching this issue with with her trauma
Speaker 1: and also with her anxiety. Yeah, I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: and you mentioned it, and I don't think I had
Speaker 1: even thought about like listing out all of the traumas,
Speaker 1: but once I heard you listed. There have been a
Speaker 1: lot of significant ones, you know, namely UM, you know,
Speaker 1: like her getting kidnapped. I mean, I think we spent
Speaker 1: an entire season with her um in captivity in this bunker,
Speaker 1: so to speak, wherever she was UM. And then she
Speaker 1: kind of came out of that kidnapping and then really
Speaker 1: just never processed it, like really never went back to
Speaker 1: it and kind of threw herself right back into work. UM.
Speaker 1: So you know, I mean that's kind of a very
Speaker 1: significant level of trauma. UM. So what kinds of things
Speaker 1: would you maybe do UM to help you know, like
Speaker 1: if you were a consultant on the show after that season, UM,
Speaker 1: dealing with somebody who has kind of been kidnapped and
Speaker 1: had a traumatic experience like that, what kinds of things
Speaker 1: might you do related to that. I mean, I would
Speaker 1: just allow her to talk about it, give her the
Speaker 1: space to talk about it, because as we're talking about
Speaker 1: it now and looking back at some of the episodes,
Speaker 1: no one really talked to her about it, right, Her
Speaker 1: father didn't even give her the space to to talk
Speaker 1: about it, because it's part of the job, I guess.
Speaker 1: So just really looking at the trauma, acknowledging it and
Speaker 1: just allowing her to talk about it, what her feelings are,
Speaker 1: how it affected her, what were her thoughts, because she's
Speaker 1: never had that opportunity to do so. It was just
Speaker 1: business as usual, right, Is that what you're referring to
Speaker 1: as well? It's just business as usual? Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: I think she moved into her dad's house for a
Speaker 1: little while after it happened, um, But you didn't really ever,
Speaker 1: like you mentioned, hear them talking about it, um. And
Speaker 1: after some time she kind of just went back to work.
Speaker 1: She did, she did, and you know, I also noticed
Speaker 1: that she reacted. She was also very hyper vigilant, right,
Speaker 1: and obviously very anxious. And you noticed that her doors
Speaker 1: have more locks to it. In the later seasons, there
Speaker 1: are more locks to the door, so you could that
Speaker 1: it definitely affected her. You can see that it definitely
Speaker 1: affected her. Yeah, so you brought up the issue related
Speaker 1: to her wine drinking, right, and so it's always this
Speaker 1: interesting contrast because she has this beautiful, pristine white couch
Speaker 1: um with this glass of real wine and then one
Speaker 1: of the episodes you did see her spill it. I
Speaker 1: forget it was once something was happening. I think somebody
Speaker 1: was breaking into her apartment or something, and you see
Speaker 1: that she spilled. I think that's what happened right before
Speaker 1: she got kidnapped, is that she actually spilled the glass
Speaker 1: of wine on the couch um. So related to um,
Speaker 1: the wine drinking. What would you say, um, if if
Speaker 1: she were to come to you around maybe paying attention
Speaker 1: to the alcohol and maybe other things that she was
Speaker 1: doing to cope as opposed to working out some of
Speaker 1: these issues in therapy, educating her first of all, um,
Speaker 1: just highlighting how she copes with stress. I would do
Speaker 1: an assessment how does she copes with with stress and
Speaker 1: even realize when she knows that she is under stress,
Speaker 1: and doing an assessment just to make sure if it's
Speaker 1: a dependence where she's dependent and maybe have an alcohol disorder,
Speaker 1: So I would educated educate her on it, do an assessment,
Speaker 1: and make her realize that possibly, you know, probably, I'm
Speaker 1: not really sure because it does raise a red flag,
Speaker 1: but possibly it could be an unhealthy coping mechanism for her,
Speaker 1: since we we tend to see that often with her,
Speaker 1: and even when guests come to her house there are
Speaker 1: times and they'll bring her a glass a bottle of wine. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I don't really see her drinking at work. That's
Speaker 1: one thing I've noticed when I've seen an episode. She's
Speaker 1: not you don't really see her drinking at work. It's
Speaker 1: really when she she's home and she you know, she
Speaker 1: she's done for the day, and that's that's her way
Speaker 1: to relax. M hm. Now, they definitely have been sometimes.
Speaker 1: I do believe she has an emergency station in the office,
Speaker 1: especially you know, we won't give any spoilers a ray
Speaker 1: for the most recent episode, but um, you know, there
Speaker 1: definitely has been some stressful things going on in the
Speaker 1: office recently, and she definitely kind of closed the door
Speaker 1: and had a glass, um you know, so so, yeah,
Speaker 1: she definitely does drink in the office sometimes, which I
Speaker 1: think again is a is a real flag right. You know,
Speaker 1: if I cannot even isolate your drinking just to home,
Speaker 1: but even in the office, you're feeling the needs to
Speaker 1: have a drink to kind of manage whatever emotions you're feelings. Definitely,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe a cause for concern. Okay, So just
Speaker 1: having it in the office, okay, because I noticed I
Speaker 1: noticed that mostly at home. So you're right, You're absolutely right,
Speaker 1: just in the office and having that stash and having
Speaker 1: a way for it to to be present, right, having
Speaker 1: that alcohol of the wine to be present, just for
Speaker 1: these moments to come, and she can feel more relaxed
Speaker 1: because she normally when she's under a lot of stress,
Speaker 1: or she is feeling anxious, she's constantly pasting, or she
Speaker 1: isolates herself. Yes, m mmmmm yeah. So, um, how often
Speaker 1: would you say that you see someone like live in
Speaker 1: your practice? So probably not somebody who's been kidnapped by
Speaker 1: like an international terror group, um, but you know, definitely
Speaker 1: there are different um traumas that show up in women's lives. UM.
Speaker 1: So I wonder if you could speak to how often
Speaker 1: you see people maybe like live or with trauma issues
Speaker 1: in your practice? So typically I would see them once
Speaker 1: a week. There are times especially if it's very stressful
Speaker 1: and it's really affecting their quality of life. I would
Speaker 1: be open to doing twice a week, maybe for the
Speaker 1: first month or so, but typically once a week I
Speaker 1: would see clients to address these issues. Okay, and I
Speaker 1: know a lot of times with trauma work, like one
Speaker 1: of the first things is working on some kinds of
Speaker 1: grounding exercises. Can you talk a little bit about what
Speaker 1: those are and um, you know, kind of maybe explain
Speaker 1: that for people who maybe are not in the field.
Speaker 1: So pretty much working with trauma, you just want to
Speaker 1: make sure that the person is it's pretty much stable, right.
Speaker 1: You want to stay balize them because you know that
Speaker 1: you're going to get into these events and it's going
Speaker 1: to trigger or retrigger some of their their symptoms. So
Speaker 1: you just want to make sure as a mental health
Speaker 1: professional that they have the resources that you're educating them
Speaker 1: about some of the coping skills and and stable them.
Speaker 1: You know, just making sure and guiding them that they
Speaker 1: are stable and capable to revisit the trauma experiences that
Speaker 1: will be processed during the therapy sessions. Yeah, okay, so
Speaker 1: really kind of teaching them how to um stay grounded.
Speaker 1: Which is what it's called, even in the midst of
Speaker 1: maybe visiting or revisiting some very difficult situations. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: So you also brought up the um the situation and
Speaker 1: the relationship that she has with fits Um, and you
Speaker 1: describe that as an unhealthy relationship. So what kinds of
Speaker 1: things do you think she might talk about in therapy
Speaker 1: related to the relationship with fits I believe some of
Speaker 1: the topics that would be raised is not even knowing
Speaker 1: what a healthy relationship is and exploring some of her
Speaker 1: past relationships because to me, when I look at Fifth,
Speaker 1: he reminds me there are some of his characteristics that
Speaker 1: resembles her father's characteristics where he can also be very controlling.
Speaker 1: When he wants to see live he will bring out
Speaker 1: his servicemen and make sure that she is brought to him.
Speaker 1: And there are times where if he doesn't get her
Speaker 1: his way with her, when there are times she wants
Speaker 1: to end the relationship or have distance in the relationship,
Speaker 1: he makes it very difficult for her to do so
Speaker 1: as well. So I believe some of the topics that
Speaker 1: would be brought up is for her not even knowing
Speaker 1: what it is to be love, what it is to
Speaker 1: have a healthy relationship. So I do believe those would
Speaker 1: be the common topics that would be presented when working
Speaker 1: with a client like Live. Yeah, so you bring up
Speaker 1: a really good point that I probably have thought about
Speaker 1: at some point. Um, But you know, you're reminding me
Speaker 1: the similarities between her and or Fits and her dad,
Speaker 1: especially in the control And I think you know, there
Speaker 1: is a school of thought that sometimes we end up
Speaker 1: in relationships with people who are like our parents are
Speaker 1: other significant others in our lives, and we are attempting
Speaker 1: to in some ways kind of work through whatever we
Speaker 1: didn't work through with that parent in a romantic relationship.
Speaker 1: Do you think that there may be some of that
Speaker 1: going on with Live? I do. I certainly do. Because
Speaker 1: she she doesn't have a long history of dating, right,
Speaker 1: We don't see or hear much about her social life,
Speaker 1: her love life at all. Her family only family member
Speaker 1: is pretty much her her dad. So that to me
Speaker 1: is the foundation, right, that's the blueprint that she was
Speaker 1: given and as far as what it is to be
Speaker 1: love and how love is interpreted, and the only person
Speaker 1: in her life who's so called supposed to care for
Speaker 1: her and love her, right, and then you know, he again,
Speaker 1: like you mentioned, is incredibly controlling and um does not
Speaker 1: give her very much room for mistakes. Are messing up
Speaker 1: anything really at all? No, none at all, none at all.
Speaker 1: So and and not Also, I feel because of that
Speaker 1: upbringing and because he is very stubborn and does not
Speaker 1: allow for mistakes, I do feel that makes it very
Speaker 1: difficult for her to even except some of the mistakes
Speaker 1: that she's made, or even ask for help, just show
Speaker 1: her vulnerability because that was never allowed. It should not
Speaker 1: be present at all. Yeah. So, something that we um,
Speaker 1: you didn't touch on, but that I think may be
Speaker 1: important to kind of talk about is the race. The
Speaker 1: race piece related to Olivia UM and I think a
Speaker 1: lot of times we see these moments most powerful powerfully
Speaker 1: delivered with her dad. UM. So he often as these
Speaker 1: amazing soliloquies he goes on about UM race and I
Speaker 1: think there was one where he talked about raising her
Speaker 1: to kind of realize she always had to be twice
Speaker 1: as good UM and you know, it's to kind of
Speaker 1: outperform her white counterparts. UM. So, how much race based
Speaker 1: stress do you think really operates and lives life even
Speaker 1: though we may not see it on the show. Oh
Speaker 1: I do. I do feel even though it's not like
Speaker 1: you said, it's not really over in the show, but
Speaker 1: I'm sure it plays a big role. Not only I mean,
Speaker 1: this is a black person, and then a black woman
Speaker 1: at that, in a very high profile position and has
Speaker 1: a lot of power and handling very high profile cases
Speaker 1: where she she's pretty much changing or saving images of
Speaker 1: these clients. And so I do feel that it plays
Speaker 1: a very big role in how maybe people may not
Speaker 1: not take her seriously because of her race, so because
Speaker 1: she she is a woman, and so as far as
Speaker 1: her being assertive as well, I do feel that we
Speaker 1: hear that typically when a woman is assertive, it's not
Speaker 1: being called assertive, right, it's being called there's another negative
Speaker 1: description for But as far as her being assertive, she
Speaker 1: delegates as well. Um, she's a I believe she's a
Speaker 1: good leader. How she delegates and she believes in her
Speaker 1: team members. She protects her team members as well. So
Speaker 1: I do believe it plays a role, even though we
Speaker 1: don't see it. Um as far as in the show,
Speaker 1: it's not obvious, but I'm quite sure it does. Her
Speaker 1: being a black a black woman pretty much right, right,
Speaker 1: So what are your thoughts about some of her friendships. UM. So,
Speaker 1: you know, it also is interesting I think that you
Speaker 1: don't really see her having any friends outside of the
Speaker 1: people who also work with her and really work for her. Um,
Speaker 1: so you know, she's kind of the boss. And so
Speaker 1: what what would you say about the friendships that she
Speaker 1: has or the support and she doesn't have any. I mean,
Speaker 1: she has a close friendship. We had a close friendship
Speaker 1: with with Cyrus, right, Cyrus is like the the right
Speaker 1: hand person of the president and previous in previous episodes,
Speaker 1: But some of the friends, you know, the other characters
Speaker 1: that she had, it was all pretty much a relationship
Speaker 1: of work relationship, but someone outside of work. I've never
Speaker 1: I've never seen that. Maybe I missed that, but I've
Speaker 1: never seen that. So it's very limited. It's all all
Speaker 1: of her relationships except for her dad, and even with
Speaker 1: her dad, you know, it's very work related. So that
Speaker 1: would be that would be an area to explore with
Speaker 1: her and also encourage her as far as having some
Speaker 1: type of social support which is just not only involved
Speaker 1: and related to her job, right, I mean, and it
Speaker 1: does seem like she has a very close relationship with
Speaker 1: huck Um. You know, but but I often wonder, um,
Speaker 1: you know, because in Huck has experienced so much trauma,
Speaker 1: like how solid the friendship is. I mean, it feels
Speaker 1: very authentic that they genuinely care about one another. But
Speaker 1: I think because they are both dealing with so many
Speaker 1: kind of traumatic experiences that neither of them has really processed.
Speaker 1: I wonder, like how much they really can be there
Speaker 1: for one another. Absolutely, absolutely, And and it's still work
Speaker 1: related as well. And the way Huck protects her, he
Speaker 1: protects her. And that's one thing about Live that I
Speaker 1: found interesting as well, that she has the heart because
Speaker 1: if you look at the staff members that she she hired,
Speaker 1: they have questionable backgrounds, right whether criminal they have a
Speaker 1: criminal background. Um, and somehow I believe there was one
Speaker 1: who had to change their name, and she came out
Speaker 1: and saved them and believed in them in the strengths
Speaker 1: that they can offer to to her consulting firm. She's
Speaker 1: she's uh, I believe a strong leader because she allows
Speaker 1: them to be autonomous in their roles that they have
Speaker 1: in her firm. They all have the form strengths and
Speaker 1: even when you see them in the conference room, how
Speaker 1: she would just allow them to just speak on certain
Speaker 1: cases and express their knowledge and express their thoughts. UM.
Speaker 1: So I see her as a very good leader when
Speaker 1: it comes to being the CEO of her firm. Right right,
Speaker 1: So what do you think um lives life might look
Speaker 1: like after she participated in some therapy and maybe has
Speaker 1: been able to work through some of the trauma she experienced.
Speaker 1: I see her setting some boundaries in her schedule because
Speaker 1: she does not sleep, this lady. Her phone is always ringing,
Speaker 1: she's always working. There's she's always on call. I see
Speaker 1: herself as putting some boundaries and making sure she takes
Speaker 1: some time off for herself. We don't even see this lady,
Speaker 1: you know, getting her nails done, getting a massage, putting
Speaker 1: some boundaries in understanding the value of self care. That
Speaker 1: would be important for sure. Okay. And what do you
Speaker 1: think about in terms of her relationship. I mean, we've
Speaker 1: talked about the relationship with Fits, but there have been
Speaker 1: other romantic interests, you know, namely Jake. So that was
Speaker 1: the other UM significant romantic relationship she's had. UM. But
Speaker 1: what do you think her relationships UM romantically might look
Speaker 1: like after participating in therapy. I do feel that she
Speaker 1: would be open to it because having a relationship with
Speaker 1: with fits fits her character, because this is a manner
Speaker 1: she could not go public. Right when you when you
Speaker 1: are in an open relationship and there's trust, there's communication,
Speaker 1: you're open to it. Right, you're saying to society that
Speaker 1: you're in love. And when you are in love, and
Speaker 1: when you love, you are vulnerable, right, you are compassion
Speaker 1: And so these are some of the characteristics we don't
Speaker 1: really see in her right, and if we do see it,
Speaker 1: it's not really being highlighted. So it fits her character
Speaker 1: to have this relationship with fits because it's it's hidden.
Speaker 1: She doesn't have to be been to it. So to
Speaker 1: make sure that it's okay to feel this way and
Speaker 1: it's okay to show these feelings, it's okay to be
Speaker 1: public about your relationship, I do. I would see that
Speaker 1: being an outcome when it comes to dealing with a
Speaker 1: relationship after after therapy. Mm hmmm. So something you mentioned
Speaker 1: a couple of times Leslie is her difficulty kind of
Speaker 1: being open and being vulnerable, And I would imagine that
Speaker 1: a lot of our listeners also struggle with that. But
Speaker 1: to also think about it in terms of like not
Speaker 1: wanting to be open and vulnerable because what does that
Speaker 1: mean in terms of my ability to have the kind
Speaker 1: of career that I want? Because I think that in
Speaker 1: some ways, which again we see a lot, is that
Speaker 1: some of these things that probably we would want to
Speaker 1: work on in therapy there does tend to be like
Speaker 1: a positive benefit to it. Right. So the fact that
Speaker 1: she is so kind of controlled um and sometimes void
Speaker 1: of emotion, I think leads to her being able to
Speaker 1: be a a leader in good in her position. Right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I would wonder, you know, if that would even
Speaker 1: be a concern for her or other women kind of
Speaker 1: going to therapy thinking oh well, if I go to
Speaker 1: therapy and work on this thing, then I won't be
Speaker 1: able to be as powerful as a leader a businesswoman
Speaker 1: as I am. Right, So with her, there there's things,
Speaker 1: There are a lot of strengths, right she she continues
Speaker 1: to be powerful, She is successful, she is intelligent, But
Speaker 1: it wouldn't be the focus is not so much of
Speaker 1: her business. It's how it's going to affect her her health,
Speaker 1: you know, her well being, her mindset, and because that
Speaker 1: just how you mention it. That is always primary is
Speaker 1: the work. But if I you know, if I do
Speaker 1: this or if I change this, I won't be successful
Speaker 1: at work. So it's always being put on in the
Speaker 1: primary focus, being that primary focus. And that's another example
Speaker 1: of not putting yourself first. And if you don't do that,
Speaker 1: it will affect your business because it will affect you eventually.
Speaker 1: So that's one way to look at it. Got you okay?
Speaker 1: So what do you have any tips for any of
Speaker 1: our listeners who may be struggling with similar challenges to live.
Speaker 1: I would definitely say, don't be scared to ask for
Speaker 1: help right there therapists like yourself, myself and we I
Speaker 1: know I see a lot of women who struggle with
Speaker 1: these issues and don't be afraid to ask ask for help.
Speaker 1: And I know that you have Dr Joey. You have
Speaker 1: a great listing of therapists. I believe it's still it's
Speaker 1: still posted on your site right there for black Girls,
Speaker 1: where there's a list of therapists nationwide. So not being
Speaker 1: afraid to ask for help, um, maybe being open to
Speaker 1: get involved in a positive and a women's support group
Speaker 1: which is not only about work, to talk about people's
Speaker 1: feelings and to see how other women cope with similar
Speaker 1: feelings as well. So that would be another too as
Speaker 1: well and create create like a mental wealth plan. I
Speaker 1: say mental wealth because it's to build a wealthy mindset
Speaker 1: where it's about your well being, it's about your self care.
Speaker 1: And so many women that I see are in leadership
Speaker 1: or want to open their entrepreneur want to be an
Speaker 1: entrepreneur and have their own business, and so a business
Speaker 1: plan is always on their mind and how to look
Speaker 1: at it and modify it. But how can you how
Speaker 1: can that be supplemented by adding a plan to take
Speaker 1: care of yourself as well? So I like to incorporate
Speaker 1: that with some of the clients I see as well.
Speaker 1: I really like that, Leslie, you know, especially for entrepreneurs
Speaker 1: like you mentioned, who are always thinking about like a
Speaker 1: business plan, right, like, this is what I need from
Speaker 1: my business to succeed, But what would that look like
Speaker 1: if we talked about it in terms of mental health
Speaker 1: and mental wealth like you mentioned. I really like that.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you if it helps. And they're very
Speaker 1: open to it as well, because it's always business, right,
Speaker 1: it's always business. So if I can be creative when
Speaker 1: it comes to talking about their their wellness in a
Speaker 1: way that it can be interpreted as a business, they
Speaker 1: tend to be more receptive towards it, right, right, you're
Speaker 1: kind of speaking their language, that's right, that's right. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So do you have any resources that you would suggest
Speaker 1: for maybe dealing with trauma or relationship concerns. Um, Like
Speaker 1: we've talked about any books or blogs, websites or things
Speaker 1: that you would recommend to our audience. M hmm. There's
Speaker 1: one book that I like to recommend. It's by Dr
Speaker 1: Burnet Brown and it's the Gift of Perfections, So just
Speaker 1: really embracing who you are and making sure that you
Speaker 1: don't have to be perfect and everything you do just
Speaker 1: be authentic. So that book is very is very helpful
Speaker 1: as well. And there are certain worksheets that I give
Speaker 1: out and people can you know, they can do their
Speaker 1: own graph or doing journaling and just rating their their
Speaker 1: level of stress from from zero to tend how their
Speaker 1: level of stress is and monitored throughout the day. So
Speaker 1: there is the workbook called Mind over Mood. I forget
Speaker 1: who the author is. I can definitely share that with
Speaker 1: you if you wanted to share it on the on
Speaker 1: the notes in the in the future. And also some
Speaker 1: of the apps. There is an app call Calm Meditation
Speaker 1: apps as well on the phone where you could just
Speaker 1: it'll remind you to take time to do some deep breathing,
Speaker 1: to do some meditation as well. And the last thing
Speaker 1: I do, and I do this a lot in my sessions,
Speaker 1: is a deep breathing and use lavender oil while we
Speaker 1: do the deep breathing, will use the labin so it
Speaker 1: helps soothe and just it's a very calming effect. So
Speaker 1: we do that towards the end of the session just
Speaker 1: to you know, just to relax and put them on
Speaker 1: on a stable um level before the session is got
Speaker 1: you that definitely sounds very calming. I feel much calm
Speaker 1: by just here you describe it helps me as well,
Speaker 1: believe it or not, so it does absolutely absolutely. So
Speaker 1: where can our listeners find more information about you UM
Speaker 1: and your work? And can you share with us your
Speaker 1: social media handles? Sure? Sure, so. My social media handle
Speaker 1: is Counseling Space and all social media handle my website
Speaker 1: is www dot counseling PC dot com and my email
Speaker 1: address is info at Counseling PC dot com. So my
Speaker 1: practice is called Counseling Space perfect And again all of
Speaker 1: that will be included in the show notes so you
Speaker 1: will have easy access to everything related to Leslie. Great, great, well,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for chatting with me today, Leslie,
Speaker 1: I really really appreciate it. Thank you, Dr Joy. I
Speaker 1: had a lot of fun. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1: You're welcome. You're welcome so much so. As you can see,
Speaker 1: Leslie and I had a great time talking about all
Speaker 1: the things that we might talk about with Olivia Pope
Speaker 1: if she was one of our clients. Now, they're definitely
Speaker 1: a variety of other things that we could get into
Speaker 1: since there's so much typically going on with the character
Speaker 1: Olivia Pope. But of course there's not time for all
Speaker 1: of that on one episode, so you have to stay tuned.
Speaker 1: Maybe we'll have a part two of this session with
Speaker 1: Olivia Pope. So please share with us your feedback about
Speaker 1: the episode. Let us know what you thought. Make sure
Speaker 1: to use the hashtag tv G in session. You can
Speaker 1: find us on Facebook and Instagram at Therapy for Black Girls,
Speaker 1: and you can find us on Twitter at Therapy for
Speaker 1: the Number four be Girls. If you have any questions
Speaker 1: that you like feedback about, make sure to send those
Speaker 1: over to podcasts at Therapy for Black Girls dot com
Speaker 1: and if you're in the Atlanta area and looking for
Speaker 1: a group therapy to participate in, make sure to check
Speaker 1: out the website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com,
Speaker 1: backslash shift at h I F T. I'm looking forward
Speaker 1: to continuing this conversation with you all real suite. Take
Speaker 1: good care,