Speaker 1: Hey, y'all, this is Dr Joy from the Therapy for
Speaker 1: Black Girls podcast, and this is a booster session. As
Speaker 1: a reminder, the information included is meant to be educational
Speaker 1: and entertaining, but it is not a substitute for a
Speaker 1: relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all is
Speaker 1: Dr Joy and I'm back with another booster session. Whenever
Speaker 1: something comes up and I feel like I just can't
Speaker 1: wait into the next regular episode, I like to pop
Speaker 1: in with a booster session. Like many of you, I
Speaker 1: have been anticipating the return of Insecure to see what
Speaker 1: Issa and Molly would be up to, and they already
Speaker 1: have me hooked to see how the season progresses. It
Speaker 1: feels like this season will largely be about how Issa
Speaker 1: and Molly will learn or not learn, to set and
Speaker 1: maintain healthy boundaries in their lives, and I feel like
Speaker 1: this episode gave us a really clear picture of what
Speaker 1: could happen if they don't. Y'all know, I love talking
Speaker 1: about boundaries, So if you haven't heard my episode about
Speaker 1: what boundaries are and why we need them, make sure
Speaker 1: to check it out at Therapy for Black Girls dot
Speaker 1: Com slash Session four teen. So when we left off,
Speaker 1: last season, Issa was moving in with Daniel, and it
Speaker 1: felt like they hinted at the fact that this was
Speaker 1: a just friends thing, but given their history, we all
Speaker 1: know that it could have gone either way. So we
Speaker 1: fast forward to last night's season premiere, and we now
Speaker 1: see that it is indeed a just friends thing because
Speaker 1: the episode opens with Daniel having sex with a woman
Speaker 1: whom we quickly find out is not Issa, because a
Speaker 1: few seconds later, we see Issa on the couch outside
Speaker 1: of his bedroom, covering her head with a pillow. So
Speaker 1: let's dig in to Issa, and her boundaries are lack
Speaker 1: thereof she's doing this just friends roommate situation with Daniel,
Speaker 1: but we see them grabbing a drink one night and
Speaker 1: he tries her as exes often do, and she tells
Speaker 1: him that she's not interested, for only a few days
Speaker 1: later to tell him that she does actually have feelings
Speaker 1: for him. Huh, what's going on here? Issa? Let's look
Speaker 1: at how some better boundaries could have saved Issa in
Speaker 1: this situation. So I understand that emotions were high at
Speaker 1: the end of last season. She thought she might get
Speaker 1: another shot with Lawrence, but that didn't pan out, and
Speaker 1: she wanted to be comforted, and Daniel has comforted her
Speaker 1: in the past, so that's where she went. I get it,
Speaker 1: I really do. But if we think about this logically
Speaker 1: and with our own mental health, in peace of mind,
Speaker 1: in mind, is the guy who you slept with, who
Speaker 1: resulted in your ex breaking up with you, who you
Speaker 1: still have this unresolved thing with, the person you choose
Speaker 1: to live with long term until you find somewhere else
Speaker 1: to go, And even if you did, do you continue
Speaker 1: to live there after you hear him having sex with
Speaker 1: another woman, after you know you still have feelings for him?
Speaker 1: I would definitely encourage you to think long and hard
Speaker 1: about that one. So what could she have done instead?
Speaker 1: She could have couch hopped with her friends if she
Speaker 1: didn't feel like she could stay with any one of
Speaker 1: them for an extended period of time. She could have
Speaker 1: looked for another new roommate. It just feels like there
Speaker 1: were probably at least a few other options she could
Speaker 1: have explored before she actually chose to live with Daniel
Speaker 1: long term. And then we have our good sis Molly.
Speaker 1: Molly is back fresh from vacation and you see her
Speaker 1: having lunch with Issa and she says that she is
Speaker 1: on her next level plan. But then not even five
Speaker 1: minutes later, we see her in dro getting busy in
Speaker 1: her kitchen. So Molly has clearly articulated to Issa the
Speaker 1: boundary she wants to maintain. She doesn't want to have
Speaker 1: anything serious with the guy she met on vacation, she
Speaker 1: doesn't want to do long distance with Quentin from her job,
Speaker 1: and she says that she's done in this situation with Drow.
Speaker 1: But every time she tries to set a boundary, she
Speaker 1: has trouble in forcing it. And I do think that
Speaker 1: this is really important to pay attention to, because in
Speaker 1: some ways Molly was doing some really good work in
Speaker 1: setting boundaries with Drow. She told him they could continue
Speaker 1: to have sex, but needed to discontinue all the talking
Speaker 1: and everything else. But what does he do. He wants
Speaker 1: to hear about how her negotiations went and wants to
Speaker 1: take her out to celebrate. She tries to set a
Speaker 1: boundary by answering his phone calls, and then what does
Speaker 1: he do. He lets himself in. So it's important to
Speaker 1: know that the work doesn't stop by us just setting
Speaker 1: the boundary. We're also responsible for maintaining it, because otherwise
Speaker 1: people don't know or don't care that they exist, and
Speaker 1: they won't take it seriously. So what could Molly have
Speaker 1: done differently here? She could have maintained her stance that
Speaker 1: sex was okay, but stated that she was not interested
Speaker 1: in celebrating with him, and instead of kissing him when
Speaker 1: she realized he had let himself into her apartment, she
Speaker 1: could have said, I didn't answer your call because I
Speaker 1: wasn't interested in talking, asked for her key back, which
Speaker 1: ultimately she did, and told him she see him again
Speaker 1: for their next hook up. So I'm curious to see
Speaker 1: how the rest of this season will unfold. Like I said,
Speaker 1: I think it will largely be about how wells and
Speaker 1: Molly will do at setting and maintaining boundaries in their lives,
Speaker 1: and I definitely think it will give us some great episodes.
Speaker 1: So what did you think about the season premiere? Do
Speaker 1: you think there are other boundaries Molly and Issa would
Speaker 1: benefit from working on. What kinds of things have helped
Speaker 1: you to set and maintain boundaries in the past. Let
Speaker 1: us know on social media using the hashtag TBG in
Speaker 1: session and no worries, you will still get your regular
Speaker 1: episode on Wednesday. Until then, take get care of yourself