Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central. Let's talk about student debt.
Speaker 1: It's as American as milk. That isn't milk. Millions of
Speaker 1: Americans are college graduates, which is great. College provides you
Speaker 1: job skills, It exposes you to new ideas. It gives
Speaker 1: you a friend named Chad who's like a brother, even
Speaker 1: though he spilled bond water all inside your car. I
Speaker 1: love you, Chad, but you're a dick. But because America
Speaker 1: doesn't properly subsidize higher education like almost every other developed
Speaker 1: nation in the world, the number of Americans with student
Speaker 1: debt is higher now than ever before. And student debt
Speaker 1: is a lot like an STD. Yes, you can get
Speaker 1: it by accidents in college, but then it follows you
Speaker 1: around for the rest of your life. And when I
Speaker 1: say the rest of your life, I mean it. There
Speaker 1: is a ticking time looming over the American economy. Nearly
Speaker 1: two trillion dollars in student loans owed by fifty million borrowers.
Speaker 1: And this is not just a problem for younger Americans.
Speaker 1: Those over fifty years old have the fastest growing student
Speaker 1: loan debt burden of any Americans sixty and older are
Speaker 1: in default, and Washington will collect by garnishing the social
Speaker 1: security of seniors. In default, we met Sara Fina Galante
Speaker 1: on the campus of San Diego State. Galante had to
Speaker 1: pause making payments four times for various life problems, but
Speaker 1: the bigger issue she got older. She can only work
Speaker 1: part time. Her monthly payment one hundred seventy six dollars
Speaker 1: is income based and doesn't even cover the interest. This
Speaker 1: is gonna follow you forever. This will follow me to
Speaker 1: my grave. When you picture someone with student debt, you
Speaker 1: might think the cost of girls, but you should be
Speaker 1: thinking of the cost of golden girls, because eight million
Speaker 1: borrow is over fifty whole, nearly a quarter of all
Speaker 1: federal student debts. And the craziest thing is some of
Speaker 1: them or even having their Social Security checks garnished to
Speaker 1: pay it off. And by the way, when they say garnished,
Speaker 1: it means the money is taken out of the check,
Speaker 1: all right. They're not putting a little parsley on the
Speaker 1: side of they checks and make it fancy. This is
Speaker 1: a terrifying situation to be and it's embarrassing. I mean,
Speaker 1: you heard that woman. Her loans might follow her to
Speaker 1: her great That is disgusting. When you know, when you're
Speaker 1: on your deathbed, you shouldn't be thinking about college loans.
Speaker 1: You know, you should be thinking of like a cool
Speaker 1: deathbed confession that will mess with your family when you're garden.
Speaker 1: You know, I'll just be like your real father is
Speaker 1: keep everybody guessing. The point is American needs solutions to
Speaker 1: the student debt crisis, and it could be canceling student loans.
Speaker 1: It could be guaranteeing free education. You know. It could
Speaker 1: even be punishing colleges if their graduates can't get the
Speaker 1: jobs that pay their loans. Yeah, I think that's actually
Speaker 1: an interesting ideas. It will be like, oh, come on here,
Speaker 1: you'll get a job. You'll get a job, and then
Speaker 1: what happens if you don't. If was a college dean,
Speaker 1: I would be a lot more concerned about my students
Speaker 1: getting jobs and graduating. If otherwise, I'd have to let
Speaker 1: them move in with me. Then people will be committed.
Speaker 1: But like, dammit, Chad, you're spelled bog water all over
Speaker 1: my fire. I love you, but you're a deck. Whatever
Speaker 1: the solution is, America cannot allow people to be so
Speaker 1: burdened by debt it follows them to the grave, especially
Speaker 1: because it will make for a very awkward reading of
Speaker 1: the will. Today will be reading from the will of
Speaker 1: Stanley McCormick, who died at the age of eighty nine
Speaker 1: last month while having sex on a hot air balloon.
Speaker 1: That's how he wanted to go. Mr McCormick has left
Speaker 1: instructions for the distribution of his state, first his life savings,
Speaker 1: all of which go to Brent. I'm sorry who Brent
Speaker 1: as a collection agent for your dad's student loans. Sorry
Speaker 1: for your loss. So dad was paying student loans for
Speaker 1: sixty years, just had fifty more years to go, poor bastard.
Speaker 1: Let's move on to the material as the car has
Speaker 1: been left to Brent. I thought I was getting the
Speaker 1: first cell the residents located at one tan Pine Lane. Brent,
Speaker 1: score the family China set smuggled out of Poland at
Speaker 1: the dawn of World War Two. Don't say, Brent, Brent,
Speaker 1: I don't even like China. Brent. Can we please have
Speaker 1: that one? It's really special to our family. Don't worry.
Speaker 1: This is going to bring the interest rate on his
Speaker 1: loan up to seven per seven. I'm sorry it's going
Speaker 1: up to seven percent. Student loans are funny. The antique
Speaker 1: watch Brent, the pipe collection Brent, the beloved ban Joe Brent,
Speaker 1: Let's keyboard tickets Brent, and finally his grandchildren's drawings Brent,
Speaker 1: how are those going to pay down? As loans? And
Speaker 1: turned this ship into the n f T. And that
Speaker 1: covers everything he did not do well in life, that's
Speaker 1: for sure. I didn't even know he went to college
Speaker 1: when we get nothing, didn't you guys need granddad stuff
Speaker 1: to pay up your student loans? Shut up? I get
Speaker 1: well help here? You got a heavy word. The Daily
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