Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that did a remake of all
Speaker 1: nine Hairy Potter movies, but he replaced the wands with
Speaker 1: cartons of milk. He called it Dairy Potter. I like
Speaker 1: he's doing. It's a razor awareness for lactose and tallerance.
Speaker 1: I think it's gonna be bigger than the original. It's
Speaker 1: Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird news stories
Speaker 1: around the club, just like everyone else does, except we
Speaker 1: have a laser and those other cow words just don't
Speaker 1: this first Laser Stories out of Florida recently, cops were
Speaker 1: doing a routine patrol when they saw a thirty one
Speaker 1: year old man with a glass pipe attempting to light
Speaker 1: up some big testicles to pull this off if it
Speaker 1: was like vitamin. When he saw the police, he tried
Speaker 1: to walk away, but they caught up with him pretty easily. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and so when they asked him what was going on
Speaker 1: with the pipe, that's when he informed the cops to quote, relax,
Speaker 1: math is legal. Now, I didn't get that, obviously, it's
Speaker 1: not yea. And that's when they informed him that meth
Speaker 1: is not legal and has never been legal. At that point,
Speaker 1: the man got upset and blamed his friend Benny for
Speaker 1: quote bad infoe. Wait a minute, I'm an upstanding citizen.
Speaker 1: You're telling me that I'm breaking the law. He was
Speaker 1: then arrested for felony drug possession as well as resisting arrest,
Speaker 1: which is a misdemeanor. As for his buddy Benny, the
Speaker 1: man took police straight over to his house, where Benny
Speaker 1: was caught red handed making a large batch of meth
Speaker 1: in his backyard. Benny, tell him what you told me? Ye,
Speaker 1: Benny got arrested too. Oh boy. This next laser story
Speaker 1: is out of Middletown, New York. Ninety eight year old
Speaker 1: woman named Gertrude market Off and a ninety four year
Speaker 1: old guy named Alvin Mann just got married. And how
Speaker 1: did they meet? At the gym? I was just gonna
Speaker 1: say the walk down the aisle wasn't taken forever. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this was back when Gertrude was only ninety years old.
Speaker 1: I didn take him so long to get married? Was
Speaker 1: she playing the field? Alvin was a spry eighty six.
Speaker 1: They were both working out at the same gym and
Speaker 1: a mutual friend introduced them. That is, I've given up
Speaker 1: on love. But then I hear stories like this, like,
Speaker 1: what if it hits you when I'm ninety? Those are
Speaker 1: the only gym selfies that I want. The two said
Speaker 1: they became closer when Alvin was trying on ankle weights
Speaker 1: and Gertrude bent down to help adjust. That I've fallen
Speaker 1: and I can't get up to Gertrude. Better than that,
Speaker 1: my life alerts about to go off. You got some hands.
Speaker 1: She was able to stand back up. From then on,
Speaker 1: the two frisky seniors started dating. They're both widowed from
Speaker 1: previous marriages, and even at their ages, they were willing
Speaker 1: to take their time because it did take eight years
Speaker 1: before they decided to finally tie the knot, and surprisingly,
Speaker 1: Gertrude was the one who finally proposed to Alvin. Yeah,
Speaker 1: He's like, can we just wait till we're a hun Yeah?
Speaker 1: I mean Howard meant still non committal yea. They say
Speaker 1: they're happy to spend the rest of their lives together
Speaker 1: and they're not worried about how much time they have left.
Speaker 1: Alvin says, quote, age doesn't mean a damn thing to
Speaker 1: me or to gert We don't see it as a barrier.
Speaker 1: We still do what we want to do in our lives.
Speaker 1: And right now in life, I need some water aerobics. No,
Speaker 1: this next lays of stories out of food news. We've
Speaker 1: all had a bad pizza crust for maybe felt a
Speaker 1: little guilty about how much crust we were consuming. But
Speaker 1: have you ever considered just scraping all the toppings off
Speaker 1: the pizza and eating that without bread? What crazy? I'll
Speaker 1: tell you who has thought of that? Papa John's. Oh boy,
Speaker 1: this is how one of my friends eats your pizza. Toppians,
Speaker 1: then cheese, then crusts. Then I'm not It's like you're
Speaker 1: out with a monster. Well this is different. They're introducing
Speaker 1: a new option later this month called Papa Bowls, which
Speaker 1: are just all the toppings, meat, veggies, cheese, and sauce
Speaker 1: baked together without any crust, so pretty much a casserole.
Speaker 1: Here's a photo of it. Oh my god, it looks good.
Speaker 1: They have three varieties available. They have Italian Meats Trio,
Speaker 1: a Chicken Alfredo, and garden Veggie Tasty. The garden veggie
Speaker 1: actually looks it's like broccoli with cheese. Yeah, not even lying.
Speaker 1: You also have the option to create your own just
Speaker 1: like on any normal pizza. The bowls are going to
Speaker 1: be available to team members starting next week, and most
Speaker 1: locations will have them at around eight bucks. Okay, now,
Speaker 1: can pineapple not be allowed in bold? I was just
Speaker 1: gonna say, let let us put it in there. Finally,
Speaker 1: that Billy viral belong in any pizzas it's a it's
Speaker 1: a deconstructive pizza. Still, this next lags of story is
Speaker 1: out of social media central. Hot girl on TikTok's going
Speaker 1: viral for her four ways to be the most attractive
Speaker 1: person in the room. Oh yeah, just start with the high.
Speaker 1: Of course, she is stunning and has a foreign accent
Speaker 1: to well. The Romanian life coach says being seductive has
Speaker 1: absolutely nothing to do with your actual loss. Okay, anyone
Speaker 1: can be the most attractive person in the room if
Speaker 1: they just follow these four simple tips. All right. Number one,
Speaker 1: use your hands when you talk, d Daniel. It's been
Speaker 1: shown that people who communicate with their hands a lot
Speaker 1: are seen as more open and charismatic. Okay, I could
Speaker 1: see that instead of like crossing him across your chest.
Speaker 1: Number two, keep your hair wet. What that? For some
Speaker 1: reason we rate people with wet hair as more attractive.
Speaker 1: I just feel like I look like a drowned. Let's
Speaker 1: a wet dog, and there really is no science that
Speaker 1: we can find behind that one. Okay. Number three, take
Speaker 1: your time when you talk. While slow talking might seem boring,
Speaker 1: it actually makes you seem confident. I don't know really, Okay,
Speaker 1: according to scientists, you're way more but appealing. I think
Speaker 1: that was great. Okay, this is all didn't any greasy?
Speaker 1: If I take this hat off, I think that should
Speaker 1: count for something. It's getting steamy in here. Last, but
Speaker 1: not least, number four is have constant sensual energy. Experts say,
Speaker 1: if you harness it like our little shelves friend here,
Speaker 1: you can do everything from meditating so you spend it
Speaker 1: some sexy alone time. Oh he's not using Yeah he's
Speaker 1: not alone. That sound means Laser Stories has come to
Speaker 1: an end of the day. We'll do it again, same
Speaker 1: time on Friday, Broke and Jeffrey in the morning