Speaker 1: We'll just start it all up. What did you say?
Speaker 1: I said today? I think we should do like a
Speaker 1: bunch of searching. You gotta remind me here, I don't
Speaker 1: know what we're talking. What are we talking about? So
Speaker 1: I found out that Billy might have a daughter. Austin
Speaker 1: and I are in the studio discussing the possibility that
Speaker 1: Billy Balls had a daughter named Amanda. Only. The reason
Speaker 1: why Amanda holds such importance is because everyone else who
Speaker 1: might be able to actually shed light on like governmental
Speaker 1: things like his death certificate, they're all dead. Amanda maybe
Speaker 1: the only one who can access Billy's records. But we're
Speaker 1: also just curious about her. According to my mom, when
Speaker 1: she was two and a half, Amanda was sent to
Speaker 1: live with Lynne Todd's mother. We think Amanda's mom was
Speaker 1: Lynn Todd, Billy's girlfriend before my mom and I guess
Speaker 1: after they broke up, the family took Amanda back to
Speaker 1: Washington State. What does she know about her father? They've
Speaker 1: told her a story of him that is going to
Speaker 1: be different than the story that we've already heard. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so it's also totally possible that there's a person out
Speaker 1: there for whom Billy is just as folkloric as he
Speaker 1: is for me. What, yeah, you two have the same
Speaker 1: relationship to Billy basically or not totally the same father.
Speaker 1: But like besides that part, oh yeah, I forgot about
Speaker 1: that part well. And also if you lost a parent
Speaker 1: who was such a larger than life character, Like if
Speaker 1: Billy was a legend in my life and he's not
Speaker 1: my father, what is he going to be in her life?
Speaker 1: We'll never know unless we find her. Obituaries are a
Speaker 1: really great source of information because they often list family members.
Speaker 1: My mom had told us that Lynta, Amanda's mother, had
Speaker 1: passed away. If there's non obituary for Lynn Todd, they
Speaker 1: might list her daughter, birth of daughter, Laura's birth of son,
Speaker 1: birth of daughter. We're not seeing any amand this yet.
Speaker 1: It was actually a lot harder than we thought it
Speaker 1: was going to be the grandmother. Wait, but does it
Speaker 1: say but finally we found a name? Five? There it
Speaker 1: is there, It is there, It is there. It is Amanda.
Speaker 1: Ohly Ship Yes, oh my god, fucking google her right now.
Speaker 1: I don't know you want it. Let's just take a break.
Speaker 1: You're killing mate. One public record weight up at the top.
Speaker 1: One public record lived in New York, in Washington. We
Speaker 1: fucking found her years old in oh Ship. There's a
Speaker 1: phone number. Are you ready to to call her today?
Speaker 1: You think yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, or at
Speaker 1: least call the number that we have. Okay, my palms
Speaker 1: are sweating. Your call has been forwarded to an automatic
Speaker 1: voice message system Commanda. It's not available. Hi there, UM,
Speaker 1: my name is Io, right, and I am looking for
Speaker 1: the daughter of Lynn todd Um and I'm wondering if
Speaker 1: that's you. I know this is probably a very insane
Speaker 1: phone call to get um I am, I guess connected
Speaker 1: to your family and um have I would love to
Speaker 1: tell you what I'm looking for and trying to track down.
Speaker 1: But again, my name is Io and I would very
Speaker 1: much love um to talk to you if you have
Speaker 1: a minute, that would be fantastic. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: I'll talk to you soon. Bye. Oh Jesus, oh Jesus.
Speaker 1: So now it's this thing where we get it's like
Speaker 1: I just have to my phone's can bring him a
Speaker 1: heart attack? Okay, all right, okay. And then just as
Speaker 1: we were about to leave the studio for the day,
Speaker 1: I just got a text from them like Hey, got
Speaker 1: your message. Didn't quite understand your name and what you're
Speaker 1: looking for. That's it. That's it. Okay, I'm gonna write
Speaker 1: her back. Hey, my name is Io. Till it right.
Speaker 1: I'm hoping that you're the Amanda this time. I asked
Speaker 1: if she knew a William Heightsman. My headphones are backwards,
Speaker 1: I'm standing up, I'm jumping around. Amanda just texted me.
Speaker 1: Holy fucking ship. Okay, she says, Hey, Io, Yes, Billy
Speaker 1: is my father. Oh my god, Oh my god. Do
Speaker 1: you or your mom have any photos of him? Girl?
Speaker 1: I have caught photos for you. I'm trying to arrange
Speaker 1: Sunday or Monday for a meeting. Yes, I see Io
Speaker 1: up ahead. How'd it go? What happened? Wow? It definitely
Speaker 1: went well, Amanda. She's very dry and very funny and
Speaker 1: very unaffected and like not at all woe is me?
Speaker 1: So did you ask her about her birth certificate? If
Speaker 1: he's honest, she's seen her birth certificate. He is on it.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, amazing. She's like, I'll help you with
Speaker 1: anything you need. So Amanda's life is wild. I feel
Speaker 1: as though I found like a pseudo sibling today on
Speaker 1: the show. Billie's daughter from Crimetown. I'm io till it right,
Speaker 1: and this is the ballad of Billy Balls. I do
Speaker 1: remember vaguely a kid at one point. Yeah. Yeah, she
Speaker 1: was a sweet old girl. What have it happened to her?
Speaker 1: She was the daughter of Linton and Billy's the legal father.
Speaker 1: Did they tell you her name when they first told
Speaker 1: you about it? Amanda? Chapter six? Amanda, is it recording now? Yeah?
Speaker 1: So I just recorded. It's you can see though the
Speaker 1: wave forms a little bit popping. Amanda was nervous about
Speaker 1: being recorded, but ultimately decided to share her story. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: I was across the country at the time, So Amanda
Speaker 1: sat down with Austin. Hear my voice in here? Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you want, you can put those on and hear
Speaker 1: your voice. To preserve her privacy, we won't be using
Speaker 1: her last name. I guess we could just start with, like,
Speaker 1: who who is your dad? Who was my dad? My father,
Speaker 1: William John Heitzman. He had a stage name, Billy Balls.
Speaker 1: He's a musician, he played piano, he played every instrument.
Speaker 1: He My mother was also a musician and a singer,
Speaker 1: and they worked together in a lot of things. Who
Speaker 1: was your mother? Lynn Todd. Amanda says her mom came
Speaker 1: to New York City in nineteen sixty nine when she
Speaker 1: was in her mid teens to pursue a music career.
Speaker 1: Almost as soon as she arrived, she crossed paths with Billy.
Speaker 1: She said, she met my dad on the corner. I'm
Speaker 1: not sure exactly what street they met on, but the
Speaker 1: Lower East Side. I think she was standing there or something,
Speaker 1: waiting across the street, and he came up to her
Speaker 1: and he asked her she knew how to fix a
Speaker 1: microphone because I guess she looked rock and roll. She
Speaker 1: ended up saying she knew how to do it and
Speaker 1: that she was she sang, and I think that that's
Speaker 1: kind of how they ended up getting involved with one another.
Speaker 1: Sounds so cheesy. She was like fifteen when she met him,
Speaker 1: I know, really young, and he was nine years older.
Speaker 1: So that was pretty crazy to me. Billy and Lynn
Speaker 1: began to make music together. Oh, this is a recording
Speaker 1: of one of their rehearsals with them. She had a
Speaker 1: low voice, and there was kind of a sadness and
Speaker 1: a darkness to that voice in that style, which I
Speaker 1: think she had a lot in her Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: they got involved with one another pretty quickly. Um, and
Speaker 1: then five years later I was born. My mother was
Speaker 1: still very young when she had me. You know. She
Speaker 1: would tell me that my dad and who really did
Speaker 1: love each other, and that I really was born from
Speaker 1: real love that they had for one another. So that's
Speaker 1: like what would make me strong enough to survive life.
Speaker 1: I guess I remember a bit of them, of the music.
Speaker 1: I have visuals of studios and stuff and singing and
Speaker 1: people and microphones. My mother said, I always slept in
Speaker 1: a guitar case. I never had a bed, But I
Speaker 1: do remember being around music and them and music and music,
Speaker 1: like a lot of it. Amanda says her memories of
Speaker 1: her dad are just images and fragments, memories of him
Speaker 1: painting his nails black and white, and him painting my
Speaker 1: nails black and white. I used to do this, Miss
Speaker 1: Mary mac Ryan. We would do that together. I remember
Speaker 1: there was no bathtub, so we would have to He
Speaker 1: would have to shower with me, and that's how you'd
Speaker 1: have to wash me. I mean, I'd just remember these
Speaker 1: ideas of things I don't really remember. I remember like
Speaker 1: a lot of chords, like everywhere, black cords on the floor,
Speaker 1: like tripping over things and playing with eggs and touching things.
Speaker 1: They had to leave that don and drugs, but I
Speaker 1: didn't know that it was bad what they were doing,
Speaker 1: so it was just like they were smoking cigarettes like
Speaker 1: other people's parents did. I mean, I could just jump
Speaker 1: in and tell you exactly when I remember of him.
Speaker 1: This is Geeta Gash in the mid seventies. She was
Speaker 1: making music, going to shows and hanging out down to down.
Speaker 1: She was a friend of Billy's. I met him in
Speaker 1: uh nineteen seventy six. I was always going to clubs Max's,
Speaker 1: Kansas City and CBGB's, mostly Max's because I lived around
Speaker 1: the corner. I don't know how I met him, but
Speaker 1: somehow I met him and we hooked up. Unmust have
Speaker 1: gone home with him or him with me. We were
Speaker 1: like hanging out together and fling around, having sex whatever.
Speaker 1: He had a phone call and said, oh, you know,
Speaker 1: be quiet. You know, I don't say anything like why. Well,
Speaker 1: it was pretty obvious that he was talking to a
Speaker 1: wife and or a girlfriend who turned out to be
Speaker 1: Lynn Todd. Eventually Geita got to know the whole family.
Speaker 1: I went to visit him at his apartment on the
Speaker 1: Lower East Side, which he shared with Lynn and the
Speaker 1: bay Be which turned out to be Amanda who we
Speaker 1: called the bean Beanie was her nickname. Um really really cute,
Speaker 1: little blonde, little toddler. And Lynn, who was a really
Speaker 1: cool lady, and she and I like hit it off,
Speaker 1: like right away. Billy tried to put a band together
Speaker 1: with Lynn singing and myself and animal X. They wanted
Speaker 1: to do the three girl harmony thing and him like
Speaker 1: banging on the piano, you know, like a maniac in
Speaker 1: like Jerry Lee Louis style, black pleated pants with suspenders,
Speaker 1: no shirt and wild, wild as a motherfucker, and playing
Speaker 1: like Jerry Lee Louis styles, stumping, rumping piano. M well,
Speaker 1: like one minute we're singing like this beautiful harmony or
Speaker 1: trying but so high that God knows what it sounded like.
Speaker 1: You know. Yeah. See there's things up that that concerned
Speaker 1: the baby that I don't want her to learn of,
Speaker 1: and I don't want to hurt any feelings, you know,
Speaker 1: But there was a situation there where you had like irresponsible,
Speaker 1: active drug addicts that should not have been parenting a child.
Speaker 1: Billy was a mad speed freak, I mean to the
Speaker 1: point of like bouncing off the damn walls. They did
Speaker 1: a lot of two oxen. They had shiploads of that
Speaker 1: little yellow pill. Remember them breaking it up, you know,
Speaker 1: and him to chumping on them constantly, like you'll be
Speaker 1: chewing on like tic TACs. Never fucking slept except maybe
Speaker 1: like crash out for a couple of hours in the afternoon.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm talking like, never fucking sleeping in the
Speaker 1: bars after hours, sun comes up, still going, still going,
Speaker 1: you know, just crazy, Just shut up now. They would
Speaker 1: fight over anything. Could have been money, it could have
Speaker 1: been babysitting. That was the norm between them. A lot
Speaker 1: of screaming whatever, we're we're not a distance from the mic,
Speaker 1: like we had some fucking sense, so we're all going
Speaker 1: into it equal, you know what I mean that we're
Speaker 1: still not equal distant drugs. That makes it really hard
Speaker 1: to have a functioning relationship. I think they were both
Speaker 1: strong headed, so I don't think that was the best match.
Speaker 1: And I'm sure Toddler in that mix isn't isn't easy.
Speaker 1: And I do remember they would fight. Was he violent
Speaker 1: with her? You know? See again I don't really I
Speaker 1: don't remember her saying anything. But I also don't think
Speaker 1: she wants me to see him that way if anything
Speaker 1: did happen, So she never told me anything. I don't
Speaker 1: have any memory of her telling me that he was
Speaker 1: physically violent with her. Ever, you know it could be
Speaker 1: because it's true. You know, I don't have any reason
Speaker 1: to believe it's not. It's not like I have memories
Speaker 1: of him being physically violent with me. But you know,
Speaker 1: he did a lot of drugs, and people are unpredictable
Speaker 1: when that stuff happens. If you're agitated or pushed fire enough,
Speaker 1: who knows what could happen. I have a very clear
Speaker 1: memory of being in the apartment at sunrise with Lynn
Speaker 1: and the baby and Billy just attacking the two of us,
Speaker 1: and I remember he took a fork and he stabbed
Speaker 1: me in the face with a fork. I had like
Speaker 1: a you know, like the four pronged holes in my chin.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. He was just like beating the ship
Speaker 1: out of everybody. We're afraid for the baby and screaming.
Speaker 1: I remember screaming out the window and some guy he
Speaker 1: just like flew up the fire escape, jumped into the
Speaker 1: apartment and started like beating the ship out of Billy,
Speaker 1: and then Billy ran out like a chicken out the
Speaker 1: window down the fire escape. Yeah. Ship, like that crazy
Speaker 1: ship used to happen all the time. Just a note,
Speaker 1: We tried to verify this story with other people and
Speaker 1: we weren't able to. Did you like Billy I did.
Speaker 1: I loved him. I mean he was great. I loved
Speaker 1: him a lot. His soul was warm, funny, creative, loving um.
Speaker 1: But you know, also it's like loving a mad dog.
Speaker 1: You know, you have to be cautious, and you know,
Speaker 1: when they're calm and sweet, they're wonderful, but then they
Speaker 1: can turn around and rip you to shreds or you know.
Speaker 1: But that was mainly the drug taking that you know,
Speaker 1: method and fat. I mean that's like heavy and when
Speaker 1: you're doing it or seven day and day out, week
Speaker 1: after week, month after month, your brain goes like you
Speaker 1: become psychotic. You know. His relationship with Lynn was deteriorating
Speaker 1: because of the drug use, and Geeta says that Amanda
Speaker 1: would often be caught between Billy and Lynn to the
Speaker 1: point of like Lynn going to CBGBs with me to
Speaker 1: hang out and Billy showing up dragging Amanda like a
Speaker 1: toddler two year old staying here. Take a kid because
Speaker 1: he was jealous of Lynn hanging out with other people
Speaker 1: and Lynn, she had been faithful to Billy for so long,
Speaker 1: and then she just went hog wild, you know, when
Speaker 1: she was sucking around on him, and their relationship just
Speaker 1: hit the skids. And then she got into heroin, as
Speaker 1: we all did. She used heroine, so she was a
Speaker 1: heavy drug user. You know. Obviously it was definitelyly not
Speaker 1: good when I was young with her, because she would
Speaker 1: forget to take care of me a lot and give
Speaker 1: me basic needs. I think she would forget about me
Speaker 1: and like put me places I guess, and either pass
Speaker 1: out or leave. I was like keys, It's like she
Speaker 1: lost me somewhere and she had to retrace her steps
Speaker 1: to get back to me. She forgot I was there,
Speaker 1: I existed. I'm not gonna say they were neglectful, but
Speaker 1: they were not the best parents. Eventually she took Amanda
Speaker 1: and sent her to Lynn's mother's house. My mother told
Speaker 1: me that my father was taken care of me because
Speaker 1: she'd been bitten by a spider and was in the
Speaker 1: hospital with a really bad infection. His version was I
Speaker 1: think more that he didn't know where my well, this
Speaker 1: is what he told my grandmother. He didn't know where
Speaker 1: my mother was, that she just left me with him,
Speaker 1: and that he couldn't take care of me anymore, and
Speaker 1: if she didn't come get me, he was going to
Speaker 1: sell me on the black market. But he she said,
Speaker 1: she always told me he said that. But he if
Speaker 1: he said that, I don't believe. It was like he
Speaker 1: was saying it to get her to come because he
Speaker 1: knew he couldn't take care of me. It wasn't something
Speaker 1: that you I was gonna do. So she flew to
Speaker 1: JFK and my dad brought me there, and it was November.
Speaker 1: I remember having this like furried jacket on that was
Speaker 1: like a pinkish white, and all my clothes were too small,
Speaker 1: my grandmother said, as wearing clothes that were sent to
Speaker 1: me two years before. He had cowboy boots. I guess
Speaker 1: on me that She said the heel were cut out
Speaker 1: of to make them fit me, and I was dirty.
Speaker 1: He just handed me over. It was such a difficult exchange,
Speaker 1: if you will, at the airport that she couldn't knew.
Speaker 1: She could barely look at him. She was so disgusted
Speaker 1: by him, you know, he was so worried about himself
Speaker 1: when doing his thing, and she said, I had a
Speaker 1: bottle and I was like four years old, and she's like,
Speaker 1: you're way too old for this. And she said she
Speaker 1: threw it in the garbage and she said, bye, bottle,
Speaker 1: and I said bye. I guess I was waiting for
Speaker 1: somebody to like pay attention to me and realized that
Speaker 1: the bottle had seen better days. She said, the milk
Speaker 1: was spoiled inside. But see, she I don't know, she
Speaker 1: she said, scenes a little bit, a little embellishment. Everybody's
Speaker 1: point of view is very different, so it is hard
Speaker 1: to know what the truth is. Amanda says when she
Speaker 1: was four, she moved in with her grandmother in Seattle,
Speaker 1: but it took her a long time to recover from
Speaker 1: her life in New York. I ended up being sick
Speaker 1: after that for a while because I was neglected and
Speaker 1: not cared for properly. I'd have my tonsils taken out
Speaker 1: and I had two put in my ears. I was
Speaker 1: six deaf when she got me because I wasn't really
Speaker 1: cleaned properly, I don't think, so there was a lot
Speaker 1: of neglect that she had to deal with. Did he
Speaker 1: keep in touch, Not that I know of. My mother
Speaker 1: did but you know, my like, I think my mom
Speaker 1: came to or whatever the situation with her ended up being,
Speaker 1: and she was like, what the fund did you do
Speaker 1: with Amanda? But I think that both my mother and
Speaker 1: father pretty quickly realized how much easier life was without
Speaker 1: a toddler, you know, without me. I'm just curious about
Speaker 1: your relationship with Amanda. Did you have one with her
Speaker 1: after she left the city. No? Um, she got sent
Speaker 1: to her mother's Lynn's mother, which I thought was a godsend.
Speaker 1: And it's around this time that Billy met my mom, Rebecca.
Speaker 1: It's funny. Rebecca a lot of ways reminded me of Linn.
Speaker 1: She was very similar in stature, very tall, similar facial features,
Speaker 1: and they seemed to be crazy and love and that
Speaker 1: I was very happy for him, and he became a
Speaker 1: different person. He was a lot lighter. Why why do
Speaker 1: you say that? Oh, they were very affectionate in public
Speaker 1: to each other, meaning you know, they're physically and you
Speaker 1: could tell that she loved him and was very enamored
Speaker 1: by him, and he was like, so happy to have
Speaker 1: a hot chick, you know. And they were both like
Speaker 1: bubbly and it was they were great together. They were
Speaker 1: great together. I remain friends with Lynn and Um. I
Speaker 1: had heard that that he had gotten shot and then
Speaker 1: he was in the hospital. And then right after that
Speaker 1: she called me and told me that he died and
Speaker 1: that he was assassinated while in the hospital, that his
Speaker 1: death was actually a murderer. I was on the last
Speaker 1: day of first grade and I was living with my grandmother,
Speaker 1: and she picked me up from daycare and then she
Speaker 1: brought me home and she took me in the den
Speaker 1: and told me to sit down because she had something
Speaker 1: important to tell me. She said, your father was in
Speaker 1: a store, like a bodega or a corner store, and
Speaker 1: there were robbers, and um, police were called and they
Speaker 1: shot at the robbers, and your your father was caught
Speaker 1: in the crossfire in between and was was killed. And
Speaker 1: I remember looking at her and UM. I remember thinking, Um,
Speaker 1: she doesn't want me to feel sad about this, and
Speaker 1: if I feel sad about this, it's gonna make her sad,
Speaker 1: so uh. And I remember getting up and then going
Speaker 1: and looking outside, and it was Seattle, so it was raining,
Speaker 1: and I looked outside and I remember looking at that
Speaker 1: a long driveway in front of their place, and it
Speaker 1: was raining, and it was black and it was dark,
Speaker 1: and it looked like it almost looked like patent leather.
Speaker 1: And I remember just staring at it and she's like, Amanda,
Speaker 1: if you want to cry, it's okay to cry. And
Speaker 1: she was always like telling me all the feelings that
Speaker 1: it was okay to have that I didn't have any
Speaker 1: interest in having. So I said, I haven't seen him
Speaker 1: in a long time, and he's not in my life,
Speaker 1: so it doesn't matter, right, So I think that made
Speaker 1: her sad. H So, uh oh, I'm sorry, it's okay. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but yeah, So that's my memory of it. I just
Speaker 1: always wondered. I always kind of didn't believe and maybe
Speaker 1: it was a mistake and they had the wrong person.
Speaker 1: My mom told me the version, you know, about what
Speaker 1: she knew when I was like eleven or so twelve,
Speaker 1: So it's like I understood from then on what really happened.
Speaker 1: That's coming up after the break. When I was younger,
Speaker 1: I used to think about at all the time. I
Speaker 1: used to think about my father all the time. When
Speaker 1: Amanda was seven years old, she learned that her dad
Speaker 1: had died. Her grandmother told her that he had been
Speaker 1: in the wrong place at the wrong time and was shot.
Speaker 1: When Amanda was eleven or twelve, her mom told her
Speaker 1: what she thought really happened. So what she told me
Speaker 1: was that, um, there was an undercover cop and he,
Speaker 1: I believe, kind of had a known drinking problem, and
Speaker 1: he seemed to have this certain obsession with my father.
Speaker 1: You know. My mom made it sound more like it
Speaker 1: was because my dad was so cool, and he was.
Speaker 1: He was obsessed with him because he saw my dad's
Speaker 1: lifestyle and was a little bit jealous. My mother told
Speaker 1: me that he thought my father was a drug dealer
Speaker 1: and that he was selling big drugs, big drugs like
Speaker 1: what well, like speed or her when like drugs like that.
Speaker 1: I think maybe he was involved in selling like a
Speaker 1: little bit of weed here and there, That's what she
Speaker 1: would kind of say. But this cop thought that he
Speaker 1: was more involved in something bigger than he actually was.
Speaker 1: From what I understand, he was drunk and he went
Speaker 1: over to where my father was living, pushed his way in,
Speaker 1: and they got physical with one another, and then this
Speaker 1: guy ended up shooting him. So that's what I've been told.
Speaker 1: Amanda grew up without her father, but the memory of
Speaker 1: him haunted her. She never forgot him. And I used to,
Speaker 1: you know, like I would do things because I would
Speaker 1: think he was there. I would leave MTV on in
Speaker 1: my room when I'd go to school so he could
Speaker 1: watch that, just in case he was in my room
Speaker 1: all day all night. When I was a kid, I
Speaker 1: thought that he should have MTV to watch music television,
Speaker 1: you know. And I just I thought about him all
Speaker 1: the time. I I every day I thought about him.
Speaker 1: I was playing with Linn. We had hooked up to
Speaker 1: play and we did some gigs. This is Gregor Laroc,
Speaker 1: who you met in a previous episode in the early nineties.
Speaker 1: He was performing with Lynde Odd in New York. Well,
Speaker 1: Lynn at this time, I think she hadn't seen Amanda
Speaker 1: for a long time, and I think she said, well,
Speaker 1: she's gonna be coming and she wanted to meet her.
Speaker 1: So she was looking for a good place to get together.
Speaker 1: So would it be all right for her to come
Speaker 1: to my place. Gregor says that Lynn and Amanda reconnected
Speaker 1: at his apartment in the East Village. It was great.
Speaker 1: I mean, she was older, and um, it was just
Speaker 1: like a nice meeting. I don't remember anything weird or
Speaker 1: you know, it was just like amazing to see her
Speaker 1: as a kid, as a little child, and then see
Speaker 1: he's a grown up again. And he says, Amanda asked
Speaker 1: about Billy, I think she I think she might have been,
Speaker 1: you know, trying to get information or find out about him.
Speaker 1: I just always felt like the people that knew him
Speaker 1: when I talked to him and asked about my dad,
Speaker 1: like I don't know, like if they knew stuff that
Speaker 1: made them feel like they were implicating themselves. Anybody I
Speaker 1: met over the years growing up that knew my father
Speaker 1: that I was so excited about meeting they kind of
Speaker 1: all responded in a similar way, just complimentary of him
Speaker 1: and said how musically talented he was, he was funny,
Speaker 1: how smart he was, you know, stylish, he was a genius,
Speaker 1: Like in the same things my mom would say to me,
Speaker 1: what what happened with your mom? She like, how did
Speaker 1: this all end for her? She she died. She never
Speaker 1: got clean, She would never able to get clean. Lynde's
Speaker 1: old friend Geta Gash says that towards the end, she
Speaker 1: and Lynne had a fall out and Lynn and I
Speaker 1: were dust of Fred. Although our relationship went to ship
Speaker 1: because of drugs and she got really crazy at the
Speaker 1: end of her life, just became a very angry, kind
Speaker 1: of nasty person, burned a lot of bridges, and she
Speaker 1: suffered some brain aneurism or something, and she had a
Speaker 1: brain aneurism and then died pretty quickly after that. I
Speaker 1: was a strange from my mother at that time, and
Speaker 1: I was getting ready to start talking to her again too,
Speaker 1: but it was always a lot, so I had to
Speaker 1: take a time out and um My, my grandmother said
Speaker 1: she hadn't heard from my mother and she was getting worried,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, she's fine. I never believed she wasn't fine,
Speaker 1: because she'd been through so much that I really kind
Speaker 1: of started to think she was never going to die
Speaker 1: and nothing was going to happen. She always survived it.
Speaker 1: Lynn Todd died on December one, two thousand and ten.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think about her a lot too,
Speaker 1: especially with my daughter, and I think she would have
Speaker 1: really liked my daughter. Amanda's daughter is two years old now.
Speaker 1: I talked to my kid about their grandparents and they
Speaker 1: show them pictures and all of that, and my kid
Speaker 1: talks about their grandparents and gets excited even though she's
Speaker 1: so young. So it's she, you know, she knows. I
Speaker 1: feel like she understands like who they are, but it's
Speaker 1: not something I talk about all the time. But when
Speaker 1: she does think about Grandpa Billy, Amanda imagines that he's
Speaker 1: retired and living where retired people live. My dad would
Speaker 1: probably be in Florida. I could see him down there
Speaker 1: moving it up. I think he'd be tan definitely. Um
Speaker 1: it looked like he might be balding, so he might
Speaker 1: not have a lot of hair going on, which I
Speaker 1: think would have really upset him. But he think he
Speaker 1: would have made peace with it by now. You know,
Speaker 1: like he's in his seven daies. He's like that ship sailed,
Speaker 1: so he's got he's bald, cleanly bald, yep, shaved, nice tan,
Speaker 1: probably like a little stomach going on. He probably would
Speaker 1: still be into kind of dressing cool, you know, like
Speaker 1: a fitted pant maybe, and he would keep it looser uptown,
Speaker 1: you know, like a vacation style shirt, you know, like
Speaker 1: a Hawaiian print or something loose fitting. I feel like
Speaker 1: he would probably still smoke, and then he would be
Speaker 1: down there in a retirement community playing music. He would
Speaker 1: play like local events in Florida. Who knows what he
Speaker 1: could have done and it's you know, even in my mind,
Speaker 1: I think that if he would have turned things around,
Speaker 1: it probably would have influenced my mom to do the same.
Speaker 1: Maybe she would have been like, you know, if he
Speaker 1: can do what I can do it, he would have
Speaker 1: like come back into my life and we would have reconnected.
Speaker 1: But that might just be a movie ending. You know,
Speaker 1: I've always thought about I. I do want to you know,
Speaker 1: I've always wanted to know. Amanda still wonders what the
Speaker 1: truth is about what happened to her dad, because it's
Speaker 1: always been a shady, kind of strange story and always
Speaker 1: something that seemed very off. It didn't feel ever finished.
Speaker 1: Next week, Amanda helps us track down some pieces of paper.
Speaker 1: It's kind of shocking, right, is your heart beating because
Speaker 1: mine was when I was reading it. I'm really like
Speaker 1: shaking right now. It's pretty pretty fucking crazy. Crimetown is
Speaker 1: Zack Stewart Pontier and Mark Smarling. The Ballad of Billy
Speaker 1: Balls is hosted by me Io Till It Right and
Speaker 1: made in partnership with Caden's Thirteen. You can find me
Speaker 1: on the Internet. Um Io loves you on everything Say hello,
Speaker 1: and if you want to know more, about my story.
Speaker 1: You should pick up my memoir Darling Days. We also
Speaker 1: want to hear from you. We have a voicemail set
Speaker 1: up for you to call us. This is Allison, This
Speaker 1: podcast for Nana. Thanks Allison. If there's somebody Billy reminds
Speaker 1: you of, or you have a theory on what could
Speaker 1: have happened, or if you can make me laugh, call
Speaker 1: and leave us a voicemail at five seven ohezo a giggle.
Speaker 1: Get you some stickers. You can also get into our
Speaker 1: discussion forum on our website, The Ballad of Billy Balls
Speaker 1: dot com. This show is produced by Me, Kevin Shepard
Speaker 1: and Ryan swigert A. Senior producers Austin Mitchell, editing by
Speaker 1: Zack Stewart Pontier and Mark Smirling. Fact checking by Jennifer Blackman.
Speaker 1: This episode was mixed and sound designed by Kenny Qcak.
Speaker 1: Music was by Kenny Qcak. That Guy Does a Lot.
Speaker 1: Our title track is Dark Allies by Light Asylum. Archival
Speaker 1: research by Brennan Reese. Thanks as always to Daniella Aria,
Speaker 1: Rachel Lee Right, Emily Wiedemann, Green Card Pictures, Alessandro sent Toro,
Speaker 1: Bill Clegg, Ben Davis or In Rosenbaum and the team
Speaker 1: at Cadence thirteen, and of course, my mom, without whom
Speaker 1: none of this would be possible. Thanks Mom, MHM