Speaker 1: You've reached the ballot of Billy bulls. Leave a brief
Speaker 1: message after the town. Okay, it was worth it just
Speaker 1: to call to hear that. That was awesome. I just
Speaker 1: want to thank you for um an incredible podcast and
Speaker 1: the ending did not disappoint. So often ending suck, and
Speaker 1: you nailed it. You thought we were done, but today
Speaker 1: we're going to take a listen to some of the
Speaker 1: messages that you left on our voicemail. After our final episode,
Speaker 1: the calls flooded in. If you haven't listened to the
Speaker 1: whole show, go back and do it. There's gonna be
Speaker 1: spoilers in here. Nothing better than Redemption. I lovely of
Speaker 1: the surrender part. So powerful, man, I love it. This
Speaker 1: is Craig. I'm in Memphis, Tennessee. Thank you for this.
Speaker 1: Hey iiO. This is Wendy Miller from Hike County, Alabama.
Speaker 1: This is Katie Escovel from Albuquerque in Mexico. Hello. This
Speaker 1: is Paul Ivan and Nelson calling from Holland from Argo,
Speaker 1: North Dakota. It's from Nigeria, from Toronto, Canada. I just
Speaker 1: wanted to thank you for the incredible work you did.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you,
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, and happy for the July. I
Speaker 1: hope everybody gains independence because of this podcast. My name's Will.
Speaker 1: I'm from Wilmington, Delaware. I'm a forty seven year o
Speaker 1: construction worker. I cried like a baby in this last episode.
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you, crying in my toothbrush. Okay, I
Speaker 1: have to pull myself together. I'm not crying. You're crying.
Speaker 1: Thank crying. It really brought me to tears. You did
Speaker 1: the right thing. Sometimes the truth than does it matter.
Speaker 1: I hope very connected to you. I have a very
Speaker 1: so much similar story with my mother. In the end,
Speaker 1: I did the same thing as you. I had the truth.
Speaker 1: I wanted to confront her, but it didn't matter. The
Speaker 1: truth didn't matter because I still loved her and I
Speaker 1: knew she loved me. What mattered is that I had
Speaker 1: a mom and I was gonna love her no matter what.
Speaker 1: So thank you, thank you for making me not feel
Speaker 1: so alone and making that choice. From Crimetown. I'm io
Speaker 1: till it right. And this is a special bonus episode
Speaker 1: of the Ballad of Billy Balls. I just wanted to
Speaker 1: say thank you for giving me into a light asylum.
Speaker 1: They're really fucking good. Oh my gosh your theme song.
Speaker 1: I'm driving through town like Batman, fighting crime like you
Speaker 1: guys are. The Light Asylum band is off, Bob. I
Speaker 1: am so pumped to have found them through this podcast.
Speaker 1: We've been jamming. Epilogue one. Leave a message, Hio. My
Speaker 1: name is Roy. I'm a truck driver from top of Chicago,
Speaker 1: and I want to tell you how your podcast has
Speaker 1: been amazing. You did a great job to turn yourself
Speaker 1: into a detective. Keep on trucking. Unsurprisingly, many of you
Speaker 1: who called in we're driving you got k Balls here,
Speaker 1: a Ka Ralph Tillman, a k cooking Kimball. I've been
Speaker 1: in a can roll business. Try driver rock and roll
Speaker 1: bus in your podcasts filled many many miles of joy.
Speaker 1: I've laughed, I've cried, question my whole fucking reality. Keep
Speaker 1: up the good work party home. Yeah, I'm working falling
Speaker 1: this chicken truck ride now feathers everywhere, and I've been
Speaker 1: thinking a student games that type of shit. No events
Speaker 1: to mister Balls, sloppy. You never bring anybody to your house.
Speaker 1: Always work under an alias. And my grandpa says, it's
Speaker 1: two people you trust. One arms me and the other
Speaker 1: one ain't you so my midnight alter you go is
Speaker 1: like Hama from Alabama, few Peece, Okay, the Ballad of
Speaker 1: Billy Balls. What the fuck? This is such a good podcast.
Speaker 1: This is such a good podcast that I had to
Speaker 1: stop driving. I'm on episode six, is in a grocery
Speaker 1: store parking lot, like just sitting here listening because I'm
Speaker 1: so enthralled. This is the best fucking podcast. I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't want to say that, because it's people's lives,
Speaker 1: you know, So there's something with that saying like, oh,
Speaker 1: entertainment through someone else's, you know, life or the pain
Speaker 1: that they've gone through. Hio, Rebecca, Billy, if you're up there,
Speaker 1: I'm banda all you guys, you're the fucking real heroes.
Speaker 1: I'm driving through New York City right now after listening
Speaker 1: to the most recent ones about the police report, and
Speaker 1: it kind of makes me think about the way we
Speaker 1: look at New York City, especially in the past and
Speaker 1: an ages in the seventies, throughties, rose tinted shades city
Speaker 1: GEVs and the recklessness of it anarchy. But there's a
Speaker 1: real dirty reality underneath all that. The way that you
Speaker 1: guys have described New York City at this time is
Speaker 1: the reminder that even when history shows us that New
Speaker 1: York City can have a dark past, it can still
Speaker 1: be so beautiful to so many people. And your mother
Speaker 1: is a great reminder of that. This is for Robata
Speaker 1: who blows right angle cartoons, dialogue, Bubble appears that sweat
Speaker 1: down and drench us in the stew of New York sweat.
Speaker 1: I'm properly secondhand stun high from sipping on Billy's breast.
Speaker 1: What a medium, a spiritual sister or a Patty Swift?
Speaker 1: Miss She never a condescend to anything but perpetual motion
Speaker 1: and her punk rolls of cycling. Helloha, you opened the
Speaker 1: sonic time window in my head back of the nineties seventies,
Speaker 1: Weld and everyone, I mean a total phonic trip with
Speaker 1: your mum an angelic punk Virgil as she leads it
Speaker 1: into Dante's inferno of her own mind. My mom, she
Speaker 1: and my father were CBHD kids, and I asked them
Speaker 1: if they had ever heard of a piano player named
Speaker 1: Billy Balls, and my mom said, oh, you mean Billy Piano,
Speaker 1: a punk guy. I lived in East Village for a
Speaker 1: very long time, and it's bringing back so many memories
Speaker 1: and your mom feels like somebody I would know. Um,
Speaker 1: I think Billy's music is amazing. Hey, this is the
Speaker 1: gul from the Something about podcasts. This is such an
Speaker 1: interesting story to me because you can hear from the
Speaker 1: clips that Billy had some now he had a great ward,
Speaker 1: I mean, prepared to a lot of these ship orders
Speaker 1: that out there. Now it sounds like you really could
Speaker 1: have done something with his music. It just sucks that
Speaker 1: this is the way it had to end, and it
Speaker 1: makes you think about how many people out there with
Speaker 1: talent such as Billy Billy Boles has not made it
Speaker 1: or can get out of the situation that they're in,
Speaker 1: and at least they tried to get like this. Billy
Speaker 1: was unmistakably talented. We have a bunch of real to
Speaker 1: real tapes from the seventies that he recorded during his rehearsals.
Speaker 1: You've heard some of it in the show, but there's
Speaker 1: a lot more. He did covers like Nowhere to Run
Speaker 1: by Martha and the Van Della's. There are also a
Speaker 1: lot of what we think our originals, and his array
Speaker 1: of musical styles is impressive. We got funk and this
Speaker 1: one's some legit rock and roll. I'm just gonna let
Speaker 1: this play for a bit. Hey, yo, Io Austin. First
Speaker 1: of all, I'm a podcast junkie and this is hands
Speaker 1: down one of my absolute favorites. I think you both both,
Speaker 1: Austin and Io just do. You're a great team. So
Speaker 1: keep up the amazing work. It's been an incredible season.
Speaker 1: I recommend to everyone I love you both, sending goodvibes away.
Speaker 1: Thanks Henning Piece, Thank you a named friend. Austin and
Speaker 1: I have spent a lot of time together in the
Speaker 1: studio and otherwise, and I'm going to take this opportunity
Speaker 1: to peel back the curtain for a minute to show
Speaker 1: you how we and the whole team work together to
Speaker 1: take something from its first idea to what you hear
Speaker 1: in your headphones. You know, even the cbgbies like I
Speaker 1: really hated the smell in the place and people. This
Speaker 1: is someone we called Natasha, who you met in chapter four.
Speaker 1: After our interview with her, Austin worked with producers Ryan
Speaker 1: Swigert and Kevin Shephard to put together what's called an assembly,
Speaker 1: a rough cut of the best moments from the interview.
Speaker 1: Natasha talked about this great orgy scene, so we knew
Speaker 1: that we'd probably include that I was asked to get
Speaker 1: dope for a very wealthy politician. This person was a
Speaker 1: very heavy partier and would have this really big extravagant orgies. Well,
Speaker 1: first of all, it was sort of like Caligula. Then
Speaker 1: we put together a draft of an episode with narration
Speaker 1: astin Austin and I go into the studio making me
Speaker 1: uncomfortable and record it. Then she took the drugs to
Speaker 1: the politician who actually wanted them for an orgy. He
Speaker 1: was throwing overseas. It's ridiculous. Just make sure there's a
Speaker 1: clean space after politician, because I'm going to slot in
Speaker 1: a line there from her. Then she took the drugs
Speaker 1: to the politician who actually wanted them for an orgy.
Speaker 1: He was throwing overseas, and do that but hit orgy.
Speaker 1: Then she took the drugs to the politician who actually
Speaker 1: wanted them for an orgy. He was throwing overseas. That
Speaker 1: goes into a new version. Then she took the drugs
Speaker 1: to the politician this person was a very heavy partier
Speaker 1: and would have these really big extravagant orgies, who actually
Speaker 1: wanted them for an orgy. He was throwing overseas. It
Speaker 1: was sort of like Caligula. Um. Then we have an
Speaker 1: edit session. Do you want to go over the scrip? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I just want to start going through some stuff. Zach,
Speaker 1: our editor, guides the process. Do you think your pride way,
Speaker 1: you talk to your Instagram anything a little bit? This
Speaker 1: feel very formal? Yeah, yeah, in a way. So another
Speaker 1: line gets added to the next draft, and Natasha says,
Speaker 1: when you get invited to an international orgy, you go.
Speaker 1: You can do it even a question, when you get
Speaker 1: invited to an international orgy, you go. I have to
Speaker 1: make the face you're making. You don't have to do
Speaker 1: it that way, but I want you to have more
Speaker 1: fun with it. And Natasha says, when you get invited
Speaker 1: to an international orgy, you go. We repeat this process
Speaker 1: until the episode's working. Our fact checker, Jenny Blackman, make
Speaker 1: sure we don't screw anything up or say anything untrue.
Speaker 1: Find that note. Jenny had a note about it, which
Speaker 1: is why I took it out. Hold on if you
Speaker 1: ever heard this, Jenny, and we love you. Thank you
Speaker 1: for all of your work. Eventually, the final tracking is
Speaker 1: recorded and we move on to finishing planning an international orgy,
Speaker 1: tweaking music, and Natasha says, when you get invited to
Speaker 1: an international orgy, you go adding sound design. It was
Speaker 1: sort of like Caligula people having sucked, which is perfected
Speaker 1: by one of our engineers, Kenny Qcac, until he's got
Speaker 1: ever just the right balance. Another one of our engineers,
Speaker 1: Sam Bear, cleans the tape, He balances the levels, and
Speaker 1: he makes sure that the episode is sounding sweet. A
Speaker 1: lot of people work together to make the magic happen,
Speaker 1: but there's also a lot of time in between the magic.
Speaker 1: We should do a blooper reel. Oh yeah, definitely, yeah,
Speaker 1: just just us farting for like a minute in the
Speaker 1: studio until we shot our pants first. Wanted to shop
Speaker 1: their pants loses? Am I allowed to swear this podcast?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, Well fuck the fuck you fucking fucking fuck.
Speaker 1: We'll see like this old man weeze that I've developed
Speaker 1: or I'm just like I thought it was on light
Speaker 1: sci fi dot com. It's Lester c lightsY Funeral Home. Wow,
Speaker 1: nowhere near, not even close. I do want my obituary
Speaker 1: to be published on the sci fi website. That definitely
Speaker 1: we believe he was from Earth. You know, that's a
Speaker 1: great name. Cheetah Crome, Cheetah crome. It just sounds cool,
Speaker 1: you know, Yeah, I want to be like like Rhino Bronze.
Speaker 1: It's actually got bad. A single page forensic report says
Speaker 1: that the gun the O o O of her. Amanda
Speaker 1: maybe the only one who can access Billy record. What
Speaker 1: about the fact that what about the fact that the
Speaker 1: what about the I just drank a mate, so I'm
Speaker 1: at just let's just finish this this one thought. Austin
Speaker 1: drinks a lot of coffee, but I broke up with it,
Speaker 1: and I prefer your bamte. There is a drink in Germany.
Speaker 1: It's called Club WHOA got another one of those? I'm
Speaker 1: just trying to get to the level of year on.
Speaker 1: After drinking two coffees and with all that drinking comes
Speaker 1: I have to pee really really really bad. Sorry, so
Speaker 1: I'm gonna pee. Can you wait for me to pay?
Speaker 1: I had a team? Is there anything else you'd like
Speaker 1: to talk about right now? Okay, you had another pea break.
Speaker 1: Let's go to commercial, shall we. You've reached the ballot
Speaker 1: of Billy Bulls. Leave a brief message after the tone.
Speaker 1: IO have a very awesome, complicated relationship with my mom,
Speaker 1: and you've helped me untack so many amazing things, challenging
Speaker 1: and rewarding, and thank you for giving this story to
Speaker 1: all of us who have a lot of fucked up
Speaker 1: yet amazing shit in our life too. So many of
Speaker 1: you have called in to tell us about your own
Speaker 1: family stories and how this show has connected with you.
Speaker 1: And I'm going to play some of those messages now
Speaker 1: because they're beautiful, but things do get a little heavy.
Speaker 1: There will be mentions of mental health issues and suicide,
Speaker 1: so please just take care in listening. Hi. Yo, my
Speaker 1: name is dude, and I just wanted to tell you
Speaker 1: that I've really enjoyed your podcast, and I also really
Speaker 1: love the fact that you're a trans person doing a
Speaker 1: story about something other than your gender identity, even though
Speaker 1: it's super important as a trans person. It's just really
Speaker 1: really good to see talented people out there doing things
Speaker 1: that don't you know what I mean, that's it's just
Speaker 1: that we're real people and that I'm just I'm just
Speaker 1: really enjoying what you're doing. I'm Hi. The reason why
Speaker 1: I wanted to call is because I had a brother
Speaker 1: who was murdered by a police officer in Los Angeles
Speaker 1: in two and twelves and after listening to this episode
Speaker 1: today with you connecting with the officer, it just, I
Speaker 1: don't know, I felt like it was super healing for myself.
Speaker 1: Made me think, like, you know, if I had all
Speaker 1: of the facts, if I had the records, if I
Speaker 1: had it all, would I feel different about how things happened?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, this guy cared, even if
Speaker 1: that's not how it is in my brother's story, it
Speaker 1: did shed some sense of humanity on these police shootings
Speaker 1: that are unfortunately far too common. And yeah, thank you,
Speaker 1: hey Io. When you said that you decided not to
Speaker 1: kill yourself, you said I was going to choose the
Speaker 1: blue pill. I chose the red pill. That really stuck
Speaker 1: with me. Days later, I was thinking about that, about
Speaker 1: how I've been so focused on hating my my dad,
Speaker 1: which would be the blue pill. I guess um that
Speaker 1: I needed to choose the red pill for my own
Speaker 1: peace of mind and to understand why he is who
Speaker 1: he is. And it's honestly, it's it's helped me and
Speaker 1: I've already had some many epiphanies on that. So I
Speaker 1: just wanted to thank you. I know how it is
Speaker 1: to grow up kind of being the parent of a
Speaker 1: parent I was from the age of five, so about
Speaker 1: eight years ago from my father, who suffered from bipolar
Speaker 1: and he sort of had the philosophy, who needs a
Speaker 1: shrink when you have an eight year old to talk to?
Speaker 1: So I find myself at times getting frustrated with your mom,
Speaker 1: and I think it's just because it really brings up
Speaker 1: feelings about my father. And in January twenty seventeen, my
Speaker 1: father took a revolver and put it in his mouth,
Speaker 1: pulls the trigger. Prior to that, he and I have
Speaker 1: been a strange for about six years. I don't know
Speaker 1: what made him hate me and cut me out of
Speaker 1: his life, and I have not read his suicide note.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I ever will. And there's a
Speaker 1: lot of aspects to him that are a mystery. So
Speaker 1: I don't know why I felt like telling you, but
Speaker 1: uh yeah, I don't know. Kind of felt good to
Speaker 1: get this off my chest, and uh yeah, thanks a lot.
Speaker 1: Your episode about revealing or suicide attempt or almost a
Speaker 1: suicide attempt was touching to me. My dad and my
Speaker 1: brother committed suicide in my mom attempted recently, and I
Speaker 1: get to the point where I wanted to do the same,
Speaker 1: and I decided to go to the psych hospital and
Speaker 1: get some real help. And I just really appreciate you
Speaker 1: coming out with that story because there's so much stigma
Speaker 1: with mental health and there shouldn't be. It's just like
Speaker 1: going to a doctor for a cold or for a
Speaker 1: chronic illness. And I'm just really glad that you're pushing
Speaker 1: this narrative, and I just want to give you a
Speaker 1: big hug. My mother had a really hard childhood. She
Speaker 1: grew up without a dad and had to help her
Speaker 1: mom raise her five siblings at a very young age.
Speaker 1: So I feel like, in the same way, I always
Speaker 1: try to put her first and I try to give
Speaker 1: her what she didn't have, and it's really hard, but
Speaker 1: I wanted to give her more than I could, and
Speaker 1: I live really far away from her, so I don't
Speaker 1: even get to see her very much. So I feel like,
Speaker 1: in a way, my love for her is very guilt driven.
Speaker 1: You know, everything is based on guilt because I can't
Speaker 1: make it happen. It's very complicated sometimes, but I think
Speaker 1: that's why it resonated with me when you say that
Speaker 1: it's complicated. It's hard, but that's what makes it beautiful,
Speaker 1: and I just want to thank you for the show.
Speaker 1: It resonates with me on very many level. You probably
Speaker 1: don't even know, so thank you and best of look
Speaker 1: to you by I wanted to tell you Io that
Speaker 1: I grew up in a similar condition with neglect and
Speaker 1: substance abuse in my home, and I really related to
Speaker 1: the last episode when you were talking with a therapist
Speaker 1: about how you can't heal yourself by fixing your mom.
Speaker 1: This is part of my journey too, and I wanted
Speaker 1: to let you know that you're not alone in this.
Speaker 1: I can't believe I'm calling and leaving this message. I
Speaker 1: was one. I listened all the way to the end
Speaker 1: of the credits of this last episode. I know I
Speaker 1: couldn't figure out why I was so connected to this podcast.
Speaker 1: There was something you said in this last episode about
Speaker 1: how you need this, You have this desire to understand
Speaker 1: and comprehend why things are happening, And that's when it
Speaker 1: hit me because I had that I want to understand. See,
Speaker 1: I grew up in a home, in a family riddled
Speaker 1: with generations of alcoholism, and even though maybe my personal
Speaker 1: journey wasn't quite the same, I've recognized my journey in
Speaker 1: your story, and you know, maybe it'll somewhere in there
Speaker 1: all get some peace myself when you were talking to
Speaker 1: that counselor and told him that if you can get
Speaker 1: a why that you can comprehend, it gets the person
Speaker 1: who has wronged you off the hook. And the counselor
Speaker 1: said to you in response, you can forgive even if
Speaker 1: you don't understand. I had a bit of a breakthrough moment.
Speaker 1: I lost my father over twenty years ago, and I've
Speaker 1: tried to make sense of his behavior and why he
Speaker 1: did the things he did, and I guess I felt
Speaker 1: like I couldn't move on until I understood it. And
Speaker 1: now I think maybe I don't have to understand, and
Speaker 1: maybe I won't ever anyway, and maybe I can jest
Speaker 1: love him despite the stuff that I can't make sense.
Speaker 1: So thank you for the podcast, and thank you for
Speaker 1: that little moment of realization that you provided. Hey, Io,
Speaker 1: you really turned me onto my own reality, and that
Speaker 1: is I was adopted. I was raped when I was seventeen.
Speaker 1: I gave a child up for adoption, and later on
Speaker 1: I couldn't have babies anymore, so I adopted a baby
Speaker 1: and that's all affected me heavy. But now I'm going
Speaker 1: to do either a book or a podcast about my
Speaker 1: bio because of you. Thank you, Io PS. The first
Speaker 1: boyfriend I ever had look just like you. Now, do
Speaker 1: you remember when we met? Yeah? God, bless you guys,
Speaker 1: Love you. I love you, all of you who've listened,
Speaker 1: and especially those of you who've called in to share
Speaker 1: your story. If you or someone you know is having
Speaker 1: suicidal ideations, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at
Speaker 1: one eight hundred two seven three eight two five five.
Speaker 1: If you're queer and want specific support, you can call
Speaker 1: the Trevor Project at one eight six six four eight
Speaker 1: eight seven three eight six. If you've enjoyed the show,
Speaker 1: please leave us a review it goes so far, and
Speaker 1: tell your friends they can binge the whole thing. They
Speaker 1: don't even need to suffer through those two week breaks.
Speaker 1: Black Handily, we have to wait to fucking meet What
Speaker 1: the fuck, io, you're killing it. I can't wait two weeks,
Speaker 1: two week get Thanks for sticking with us, and guess
Speaker 1: what I'll see you next week. Crimetown is Zach Stewart
Speaker 1: Pontier and Mark Smirling. The Ballad of Billy Balls is
Speaker 1: hosted by me Io till it Wright and Maiden partnership
Speaker 1: with Caden's thirteen Come find Me on the Internet and
Speaker 1: Io loves you on Everything And if you want to
Speaker 1: know more about my story, pick up my memoir Darling Days.
Speaker 1: If you'd like to leave us your own voicemail, please
Speaker 1: do give us a call at five seven zero three
Speaker 1: nine two nine six six zero. I'm gonna call some
Speaker 1: of you back next week, so call in and tell
Speaker 1: me why I should call you. This episode was produced
Speaker 1: by Me and Kevin Shephard. Our senior producer is my
Speaker 1: Boy Austin Mitchell, editing by Zach Stewart Pontier and Mark Smirling.
Speaker 1: This episode was mixed by Sam Baer, music by Kenny Quciak.
Speaker 1: Our sick title track is Dark Allies by Light Asylum.
Speaker 1: Special thanks to Sweet Kevin for manning the voicemails. Thanks
Speaker 1: to Daniella, Ariah Rachel, Lee Wright, Emily Wiedemann, Green Card Pictures,
Speaker 1: Alessandro Sentro, Bill Clegg, Ben Davis, Orn Rosenbaum and the
Speaker 1: team at Cadence thirteen, and of course, always my Mom,
Speaker 1: without whom none of this would be possible. Wait for You,
Speaker 1: Troll