Speaker 1: Hello the Internet, and welcome to Season to twenty seven,
Speaker 1: Episode two of Daily Production by Heart Radio. This is
Speaker 1: a podcast where you take a deep dive into America's
Speaker 1: shared consciousness. It's Tuesday, March it, which means it's International
Speaker 1: Women's Day. There, it is there, it is shout out
Speaker 1: to over half the population on the earth lately overhead. Yeah,
Speaker 1: amazing work, amazing work, amazing work. Take it from a
Speaker 1: couple of guys, keep your head. Take it from months.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be great, well deserved one day of the year. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a for like, you know, the whole Women's History month,
Speaker 1: right with Women's History Month this month and then it's
Speaker 1: International Women's Day. I feel like, yeah, that the programming
Speaker 1: could be more significant. I don't know, it's just weird.
Speaker 1: How like the I think a lot of these like
Speaker 1: months that are like here's a marginalized group, here's a
Speaker 1: whole month, and then it's like all right, that's it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, we've addressed it. Don't look into pay equity. YEA,
Speaker 1: all right, Well, my name is Jack O'Brien, a K.
Speaker 1: What do we want an end to clickbait? When do
Speaker 1: we want it? The answer will shock you that is
Speaker 1: courtesy of Tim Reinvented at Tim Reinvented on Twitter a
Speaker 1: rare protest chant a K and I'm thrilled to be
Speaker 1: joined as always by my co host Mr Miles Grass
Speaker 1: Miles Gray a k A Nugs Bunny a k Umber
Speaker 1: Buddy K Daffy dak a case Bliff Vester Cat aka Porky,
Speaker 1: Pip a k A Roach Runner a k A Bong
Speaker 1: Horn leg Horn Okay. Got out to c W g
Speaker 1: BL and not enough DVDs Santa on the discord for
Speaker 1: that and I wonderfully, oh man, not enough DVD Santa.
Speaker 1: Great work from everyone on that one. Yeah, I was,
Speaker 1: I was watching season two. I think you should leave
Speaker 1: again over the weekend. And that's Santa sketch All time
Speaker 1: for me, an all time great? What is it? What
Speaker 1: is it? Advise it? Is it cosmic gumbo that cements
Speaker 1: it for you or just gumbo? It's also the action movie,
Speaker 1: like the action part of it. Just how lazy the
Speaker 1: lines are really fucking kills me. And also I enjoy
Speaker 1: it as a fan of the Billy Bob Thornton radio
Speaker 1: interview where he demands that the guy not even acknowledged
Speaker 1: that he has an acting crew. Yeah, all of the
Speaker 1: above form into one of my favorite sketches. Also the
Speaker 1: uh Tim Robinson characters, which I hadn't watched, But that's
Speaker 1: like a free episode of I think you should leave
Speaker 1: if you haven't checked. Oh yeah, I missed Jeff. I
Speaker 1: missed Jeff. I missed Jeff that. And then when he
Speaker 1: goes to the gun store because he's been doing absolute
Speaker 1: pain job wherever he is. Yeah, all right, well, Miles,
Speaker 1: we are thrilled to be joined in our third seat
Speaker 1: by a very funny stand up comedian, writer, actor, producer,
Speaker 1: and creator of boast Rattle Compliment Contest Uh and Never
Speaker 1: Seen It, a podcast where famous comedians rewrite classic movies
Speaker 1: they've never seen. Uh. He's appeared on Cone in, Comedy Central,
Speaker 1: Fuse at Just for Laughs, created and hosted the podcast
Speaker 1: Faking a Murderer, where he talked with eight comedians for
Speaker 1: eight hours about the show Making a Murderer, but did
Speaker 1: not tell his guests that he'd never seen the show.
Speaker 1: But he also wrote and put on a satirical play
Speaker 1: Glen Garry Glenn Beck. He's got so many projects that
Speaker 1: just like pitched themselves with the title or like what
Speaker 1: one sentence uh. And also he's apparently cracked the code
Speaker 1: on wordle uh because he's gotten it on one guess
Speaker 1: every day for the past month. H please welcome to
Speaker 1: the show to be hilarious Kyle with the titles. Nice
Speaker 1: way of saying fizzled out after one man, I wanted
Speaker 1: to be a k A tweedle bird a k A
Speaker 1: smoke simity Sam. I love Loony tunes. I don't think
Speaker 1: about now. It's so fun, but thanks for having me. Hey, man,
Speaker 1: let us in. Man, you're you're you're posting up sick
Speaker 1: fucking word old scores, Yeah numbers, like give us some
Speaker 1: tips here. You know a lot of people are like
Speaker 1: this guy's on fire people, So people do ask about
Speaker 1: this lots when I'm out at in public. And the
Speaker 1: thing is, if you just know what it's like, if
Speaker 1: you just guess it right the first try right, then
Speaker 1: then then you get that's how it works. It's so
Speaker 1: much easier that way. I know. I just think because
Speaker 1: I always think, I'm like, would uh would it be today?
Speaker 1: And I type that in Yeah, you've cracked it. It
Speaker 1: reminds me of of the propaganda about Kim Jong un
Speaker 1: that was like he just hit a hole in one
Speaker 1: on every I think he like golfed a nineteen fool
Speaker 1: people where he's like that har five, I got it.
Speaker 1: I got to don't don't make it realistic. I shot
Speaker 1: a nineteen. Do you plan on adding a one where
Speaker 1: you got where you get it into? I think if
Speaker 1: there's a day and this is a huge there's a day,
Speaker 1: you mean if he's off, I have thought about it.
Speaker 1: There's a day where the word is ad I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get it and I'm not gonna get it. And I'm
Speaker 1: because that's everyone because I think that's everyone's first word. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it all started when I jokingly said I got moist
Speaker 1: in one, Like I thought that'd be a funny word
Speaker 1: to be, like, that's my because it makes it look
Speaker 1: like it's your starter word. And now I just struggle
Speaker 1: for content. Yeah, do people get pissed at you every
Speaker 1: once in awhile. People are kind of caught on at
Speaker 1: this point. But when I first started, I was like
Speaker 1: twelve in and someone goes doubt it, like after yeah,
Speaker 1: I also doubt it because I got to eleven. And
Speaker 1: then when you surpassed me, I was like hold on.
Speaker 1: I spent like three hours trying to get a quartal
Speaker 1: copy paste, but the formatting is impossible. When you erased
Speaker 1: the little squares and they all moved to different lines
Speaker 1: and stuff like that. I wanted to look like I
Speaker 1: was getting quartal in one every day as well. Yeah,
Speaker 1: which would be technically impossible, but it's so hard. Yeah,
Speaker 1: impossible to the thing about quartals, You just gotta guess
Speaker 1: all four words at once. So now come on, Jack,
Speaker 1: you gotta be back yourself. I know, all right, Well, Kyle,
Speaker 1: we are going to get to know you a little
Speaker 1: bit better in a moment. First, we're gonna tell our
Speaker 1: listeners a couple of things we're talking about. We're gonna
Speaker 1: talk about Marco Rubio first posting pics of z Lynsky.
Speaker 1: Just you know, he was asked for security purposes. He
Speaker 1: don't do this, and he was like, I'm saying, I can't,
Speaker 1: I can't, can't not be me, baby, what's more important
Speaker 1: than cloud? For all Rubio, if he had gotten that
Speaker 1: dude killed like that would have been that would have
Speaker 1: been an all timer and he and yeah, and he
Speaker 1: wouldn't have said it was his fault. He would have
Speaker 1: been like, I don't know, man, I think the Ukrainian
Speaker 1: Special Force has really failed. Their president is probably what
Speaker 1: you would have said. It would have blamed the Cubans
Speaker 1: for some sort of mystical technology they have the turk. Right,
Speaker 1: we're gonna talk about Trump had some interesting things to
Speaker 1: say about the war, war crimes, just generally what what
Speaker 1: would be happening if he was in charge, which is
Speaker 1: a terrifying thought experiment, like for the rest of us,
Speaker 1: but for him, it takes place in a Looney Tunes
Speaker 1: cartoon actually, like his version of the war if he
Speaker 1: was still president. So it's good to see that. You know,
Speaker 1: his time in office has changed him and hardened him
Speaker 1: and do a realistic adult human being. So we'll talk
Speaker 1: about that. We'll talk about Okay, so it has happened hard.
Speaker 1: Mountain dew has hit shelves, some test markets, and the
Speaker 1: reviews are will shock you. We'll go with that, all
Speaker 1: of that plenty more. But first, Kyle, we do like
Speaker 1: to ask our guest, what is something from your search history?
Speaker 1: Oh my search history? Oh my god. Let me see
Speaker 1: the last thing that I searched. I guess it was
Speaker 1: Looney Tunes characters so I could make those puns, uh,
Speaker 1: I that you love gooney tunes. You're googling looney tunes. Character.
Speaker 1: The last thing I searched was why are why are
Speaker 1: their Oscars? And I don't remember if I meant like
Speaker 1: still or ever, like why the awards ceremony happened? Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I just mostly because I it doesn't it feels
Speaker 1: like we're in a post Awards show world. Yes, m
Speaker 1: hm is anyone doesnay did? I used to look forward
Speaker 1: to the Oscars. I would love to win one if
Speaker 1: they're giving them out, like word sports, But at this point,
Speaker 1: I don't it's this month, it's next month. It already happened.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think the peak Oscars for me
Speaker 1: even like not even that I was so excited. But
Speaker 1: the last thing I like participated in was like wearing
Speaker 1: a tuxedo to watch the Oscars, just as like a
Speaker 1: goof at someone's house that was the year at their
Speaker 1: house for like a casual viewing party. And yeah yeah
Speaker 1: and no no, no, that they were asking everybody to
Speaker 1: dress up. I'll dressed up like the Baba Duke to
Speaker 1: go to that normal Havoween party that was really funny,
Speaker 1: but yeah, like and then after that, I honest, even then,
Speaker 1: I was like, see, I don't even know why I'm here,
Speaker 1: and now you're like, to your point, I don't really
Speaker 1: understand what it means to even given award out anymore.
Speaker 1: I just something happened, you know. I'm sure it's probably
Speaker 1: the only bad thing that's happened from the pandemic would
Speaker 1: be this fallout about awards shows. But it's it is.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just I used to really care,
Speaker 1: as like, oh, the guess them all and I'll see
Speaker 1: all the movies. And I think I was looking it
Speaker 1: up to see, like is there a movie I should watch?
Speaker 1: But I don't know. If it's because I'm not going
Speaker 1: to theaters, maybe movie pass. Maybe I don't know what's
Speaker 1: going on. It just doesn't feel like I don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe I learned too much about celebrities personal lives, like
Speaker 1: through the pandemic, and now I'm like, oh, why don't
Speaker 1: you know? I don't care? And now I'm just sort
Speaker 1: of I don't know. Yeah this month, yeah, they're coming up,
Speaker 1: I think, um, and maybe I probably won't watch, but
Speaker 1: I'll look up and see what one and be excited
Speaker 1: if it's actors or directors I like. But other than that,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure. It feels like it used to feel
Speaker 1: like we're in Los Angeles. You just feel like there's
Speaker 1: like this wait to them that I guess people just
Speaker 1: feel a little bit less. Maybe I'm seeing less people.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think it's just in general, like
Speaker 1: this has always been an issue with awards, is like
Speaker 1: when they really start departing from like what people are
Speaker 1: enjoying and what they enjoy about something they don't like
Speaker 1: align with their like, oh yeah, that makes sense, I
Speaker 1: would want that award because these people are also thinking
Speaker 1: the same way now, people like what got nominated? What
Speaker 1: didn't get them? What? Who the funk are these people voting?
Speaker 1: And that I think that energy has just sort of
Speaker 1: completely made it. You know, I could definitely see that
Speaker 1: that factoring into how I feel about it all where
Speaker 1: you know, just can are you throwing a popular movie
Speaker 1: a bone to keep us on for a little while,
Speaker 1: or are you not acknowledging that movies people like are
Speaker 1: real if it's not just about like sometimes I see
Speaker 1: a movie trailer now and I watch it, I'm like,
Speaker 1: that looks like one, you know what I mean, all
Speaker 1: the parts of all the guy man got the situation
Speaker 1: with his parents influenced his life. Yeah, right, all right,
Speaker 1: there's another one of those. But I think you're onto
Speaker 1: something with that, Miles. I think it might have something
Speaker 1: to do with feeling like a disconnect between what gets
Speaker 1: nominated for awards and what people consume. And I think
Speaker 1: that's the hard part is how do you even what
Speaker 1: group could actually embody that where you're like, you know
Speaker 1: who gives out the awards? That makes sense? This group
Speaker 1: of people over here? And I don't even think like
Speaker 1: at that point, is there even anyway you look back
Speaker 1: years of what one best picture? It is rarely the
Speaker 1: movie you ever think about from that year anymore. Hereditary
Speaker 1: it's the example I can think of where it is.
Speaker 1: But other than that, you really have to be like,
Speaker 1: what are you looking at it? Good? Does that the
Speaker 1: movie that that remains in people's sit guys? Shakespeare and Love?
Speaker 1: Very rarely? Yeah, because everyone going back and rewatching Shakespeare
Speaker 1: and Love or do you rewatch Saving Private Ryan? Like
Speaker 1: is that what movie? And the age even faster than that,
Speaker 1: like Crash twenty minutes afterwards, like Green Book ten minutes afterwards,
Speaker 1: Like I don't even know that was couldn't have been real?
Speaker 1: Green book looked like a tropic thunder trailer to me,
Speaker 1: and you're saying Hereditary should have one. It was great,
Speaker 1: that was one. At least that was like the last time.
Speaker 1: We were like, that's the Lasting movie from then, don't
Speaker 1: mess it up. They even one year they tried to
Speaker 1: not give it to the Lasting movie and the people
Speaker 1: who want it were like, we didn't actually win the
Speaker 1: good one did right, right right, they're trying so hard. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like la la land, I shouldn't say that. We we
Speaker 1: we do a thing every year when the nominees are
Speaker 1: announced where we talk about like that it should be
Speaker 1: a five year on the on the nominees, so that
Speaker 1: like you, it's like the Hall of Fame for sports. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: you get to see what's stuck around. So, oh that's funny.
Speaker 1: But I personally, you know, I'm I just think Hollywood's
Speaker 1: brightest stars need a night to come out and shine.
Speaker 1: That's always been my stance. So it's yeah, it's a
Speaker 1: continue to be sure. What is something you think is overrated?
Speaker 1: Hate following people? Mm hm, oh it's for your brain. Oh,
Speaker 1: if you're like I gotta, I gotta, I didn't follow
Speaker 1: Marco Rubio. I could just look them up when I
Speaker 1: see everyone talking about him, But I just don't need
Speaker 1: to like see the casual overflow of like following people
Speaker 1: just to like quietly dunk on them in my brain
Speaker 1: and scroll. I feel like, yeah, the people like I
Speaker 1: I follow people like that. And it started out of
Speaker 1: this thing of like, oh, I should be able to
Speaker 1: like respond to tweets from this person on Twitter to
Speaker 1: get some jokes off or something, and then my will
Speaker 1: for that dissipates. Why am I just only looking at
Speaker 1: Ben Shapiro and on my feet? Now? I know that
Speaker 1: is that. I think he is the maybe the primary
Speaker 1: one that's in my brain when I think about something
Speaker 1: like this, because I go, you know, everyone's scream about
Speaker 1: something with him, and I go, look, I'm like, I
Speaker 1: have eight hundred common followers with this guy, right, that's
Speaker 1: crazy to me. But what are you just seeing? You
Speaker 1: see the stuff that he clearly just wants attention for,
Speaker 1: But you also see like him just tweeting like fun
Speaker 1: day or I don't know what he does, but like
Speaker 1: I doubt he tweets anything that casual, But like, you
Speaker 1: gotta see him just promoting his podcast every day. Who's
Speaker 1: the last what's the last hate follow did you? Have
Speaker 1: you been? Have you been cleaning up your follows? Is that?
Speaker 1: That is kind of what led me to this is
Speaker 1: I just kind of like going through and I'm just like,
Speaker 1: do I need Do I need to follow like both
Speaker 1: Lindsay Graham accounts? Yeah, right, you have to the person
Speaker 1: one that we remember. We all there's like an hour
Speaker 1: where everyone's like funny, right right, and but then I
Speaker 1: follow the actual one like ran By the whatever you
Speaker 1: know people who worked for him. I I gotta stop,
Speaker 1: is it? Well? I gotta stop. They're they're good people
Speaker 1: for like who do they hate following? For me? Like
Speaker 1: Cody Johnston is a great is a great person to
Speaker 1: follow because he will bring to your attention any anytime
Speaker 1: one of those people does something very stupid or anytime
Speaker 1: John Krasinski has a Burner account and is telling people
Speaker 1: who criticize his movies that he's six to and could
Speaker 1: beat the ship out of them. It's yeah, I I
Speaker 1: do not. I do not have the energy or attention
Speaker 1: span too, can we do? We are we going to
Speaker 1: breeze right by? What's going on with John Krasinski's Burner
Speaker 1: account about beating people up? Yeah, I feel like people
Speaker 1: missed this, so this this is okay. You know what,
Speaker 1: maybe it's underrated hate following people because apparently I missed
Speaker 1: the whole John just follow because he he caught this.
Speaker 1: It was John Krasinski. Like somebody went on a tear
Speaker 1: one day because people kept accusing John Krasinski of being
Speaker 1: a cia OP because he rebooted Jack Ryan with himself
Speaker 1: as Jack Ryan, except Jack Ryan's no longer just an
Speaker 1: analyst now he's also like a badass action hero and
Speaker 1: people were like, all right, you're a cia OPP and
Speaker 1: he was like, you know, you better like stop saying
Speaker 1: that because Krasinski actually like trained with a military unit
Speaker 1: and he could fuck you up. And then Cody was
Speaker 1: just pointed out like, hey, so that that account was
Speaker 1: just created today, are we going to pretend this isn't
Speaker 1: John Kinki because it was an account that was created
Speaker 1: one day and just went around saying the most self
Speaker 1: serving like just picture like like we weren't sure if
Speaker 1: it was him or not, but the only tweet the
Speaker 1: account had was looks directly at webcam and smarts. That's right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I hope he's out here dunking on people who are
Speaker 1: trying to take down leather heads. Yeah yeah, I hope so,
Speaker 1: because that is underrated classic. Not to step on your underrated,
Speaker 1: but I'm sure it was leatherheads. The buildings of football
Speaker 1: is an important thing to have. He does have the
Speaker 1: body of a prototypical athlete when the movie took place. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's true. You don't have to go back that far
Speaker 1: to where he would have been the largest athlete on earth,
Speaker 1: but he probably years before the advanced athletic body of
Speaker 1: Larry Bird. There was John Krasinski. I think about it sometimes,
Speaker 1: you know, we don't have to go back that far
Speaker 1: where we probably could have made the Olympics and something
Speaker 1: if we tried, like the three of us. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel like you dropped my body into the thirties.
Speaker 1: I'm getting I'm I'm getting some kind I'm getting on
Speaker 1: some Olympic team. Right. You're telling me I couldn't like
Speaker 1: outswim the guy who played Tarzan he won gold medals. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I just would have loved to, you know, play basketball
Speaker 1: in a belt and a polo shirt or whatever the
Speaker 1: funk they played in best them, like just a round
Speaker 1: leather ball with just the innovation you would have had
Speaker 1: in the middle of the Olympics, you have been like,
Speaker 1: what if we cut the bottom of the basket out
Speaker 1: and they would like, holy crap. I feel like, oh man,
Speaker 1: nineteen thirty six would have been tough. Man, are you
Speaker 1: looking up the records are? Yeah, I'm like, I'm like, damn, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not beating Jesse Ellens, Like maybe not even a
Speaker 1: thing you want to claim to be able to have done. Yeah.
Speaker 1: If I came on here and all I was doing
Speaker 1: was saying I could have ran faster than Jesse and
Speaker 1: really agenda driven. All right, let me go further back,
Speaker 1: maybe twenty eight, what happened in twenty eight. Let me
Speaker 1: see one years ago, we all probably couldn't make the one.
Speaker 1: I don't do it. I'm not running a fucking ten
Speaker 1: ten four fucking you gotta maybe do something else. You
Speaker 1: gotta do one of like more. Yeah, like what if
Speaker 1: you could do the high jump? The high jump world records, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you just like jumped over it. You didn't like do
Speaker 1: that floppy thing. The high jump was just like you
Speaker 1: just kind of jumped over something like and while you're
Speaker 1: doing it, you had to like salute the president. It
Speaker 1: was just two kids holding a jump rope on either
Speaker 1: side and you had to jump over that. You had
Speaker 1: to like did like twist your mustache upwards over every
Speaker 1: hurdle during the steeple chase, like this is I'm making
Speaker 1: my way and I got But that's a two second
Speaker 1: penalty for Williams. His monocle came out. Now he's just
Speaker 1: running in a little circle over and over again. We
Speaker 1: saw Williams got at a lady. That's a four second penalty.
Speaker 1: They're not married. There was there was a good story
Speaker 1: from like the I think it was like nineteen hundreds
Speaker 1: or so, like the first decade of the twentieth century,
Speaker 1: like Paris had the Olympics and people like got lost
Speaker 1: during the marathon run and like there was so much
Speaker 1: like smoke and colash and ship that I think somebody died.
Speaker 1: So yeah, they didn't really have their ship together back then.
Speaker 1: It was more like hobbyists. I never never understood the
Speaker 1: marathon as a thing where we're like the guy who
Speaker 1: invented it died at it, and now we're all like
Speaker 1: we can do it. Yeah. Now there's ultra marathons that
Speaker 1: are a hundred miles yeah more. But whenever I see
Speaker 1: those people like you know, watch YouTube videos like you
Speaker 1: see like motivational YouTube clips and it's about some dude
Speaker 1: who like or anybody was like, I ran three hundred miles.
Speaker 1: You think I did it because I gave up on myself.
Speaker 1: And I think you did it because you suffer from
Speaker 1: a very specific type of mental videos with a therapist, right,
Speaker 1: and what are you really running from? And the guy
Speaker 1: just cries nobody's asked him that that's what that's You
Speaker 1: actually win the race because you just catch up to
Speaker 1: people wanted a time and say that to them and
Speaker 1: they'll just like break down into tears, just have pick
Speaker 1: pictures of their parents with you. Yeah, there's also like
Speaker 1: nothing that makes me more resolute and like not being
Speaker 1: a like an athlete or exercising and like you know,
Speaker 1: very high levels. Because I see somebody say like it's
Speaker 1: easy to run your first eighty miles and I'm like, dude,
Speaker 1: funk that the last that's yeah, exactly, can't drive miles
Speaker 1: without stopping, Right, I'm like, is there a taco bell?
Speaker 1: Do we have like one of these weird is there
Speaker 1: like that gas station that has the alien outside of it?
Speaker 1: Like I gotta find something within a hold on, we
Speaker 1: need some hobby narrow jerky right now. I don't care
Speaker 1: if you in the world. I'm also gonna just say
Speaker 1: over it. Hate following people on the street. Don't don't true.
Speaker 1: Where you going? Man? Where you headed? What are you doing?
Speaker 1: One of those fancy walkers? Okay, I think it's the
Speaker 1: New York City or something. I'm gonna tell everyone about
Speaker 1: this walk, but I'm gonna be ironic about it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what is what something you think is underrated? It's so
Speaker 1: funny that we ended up where we did with this talk,
Speaker 1: because my underrated is listening to audio books while exercising. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I started trying to to run a little bit. I
Speaker 1: like to swim and I like to bike, but running
Speaker 1: is I hate it. I hate running. I hate it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And someone told me to listen to audio books while
Speaker 1: you do it, because then you get excited to go
Speaker 1: do it again because you want to know what's happening
Speaker 1: in the book. Damn. You must be listening to some
Speaker 1: good audio books to the Fellowship of the Ring, which
Speaker 1: I have read. But it's just like, I want to
Speaker 1: get back into this because they're good at the book.
Speaker 1: So I think that that's and I It's helped me
Speaker 1: be a little more motivated to do the very minimal
Speaker 1: exercise that I am trying to do. I do that
Speaker 1: with movies to run, like the I just need to
Speaker 1: give myself like something that's like a treat. I can't
Speaker 1: like do like a book I've been meaning to get
Speaker 1: to while I'm running. You know that has you watch
Speaker 1: a movie while you run? Yeah, you're on a treadmill problem. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I've been hit by a car five times in the
Speaker 1: last two weeks. You've got some sort of like head
Speaker 1: rig where it comes up in front of you. This
Speaker 1: is your hands free running. Watch you drive around Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: Just see enough people watching TV while they drive. That's
Speaker 1: It's It's like it's really blown up exponentially. I feel like, Oh,
Speaker 1: I saw two people touched the skip intro button of
Speaker 1: the Queen's Gambit while driving. I mean that's automatic. He's like,
Speaker 1: you don't have time for that. You're in traffic. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like, I'm gonna get to the narrative. Wait, so
Speaker 1: you normally, I see I can't run. I just hate running.
Speaker 1: I can only do it in the context of like sport,
Speaker 1: like when I'm like chasing after somebody or or like
Speaker 1: playing basketball or soccer like that, I can run, but
Speaker 1: just like straight yawing fuck that. I'm telling you. I've
Speaker 1: only I have just kind of started doing it, and
Speaker 1: getting like a mile without stopping as a huge, huge
Speaker 1: thing for me. And I run so slow. The first
Speaker 1: one I just try to not the first mile is
Speaker 1: the only one I'm doing. But I literally hit a
Speaker 1: half mile and I turned around and go back, and
Speaker 1: it's hard. That's really really hard. But the third or
Speaker 1: fourth time it did was a little easier, and I
Speaker 1: felt kind of like, good, Yeah, when people you tell
Speaker 1: people run there, you're gonna get the runners high. It's like,
Speaker 1: now I just run only a mile and then get
Speaker 1: regular high. Right, works much better, much more time efficient. Yeah,
Speaker 1: running slow is the key. You get to make yourself
Speaker 1: run very slow and then you'll maybe start to enjoy it.
Speaker 1: And I tried at the beginning of lockdowns. I was
Speaker 1: like fuck it, like I gotta get I gotta do something.
Speaker 1: And I did it maybe for like a month, and
Speaker 1: then I was just like this is just fucked up,
Speaker 1: Like I can't do my kidding here. Like I thought
Speaker 1: I could do it, but not just now I'm biking
Speaker 1: because you know what, no one ever tells you. They
Speaker 1: never tell you you're gonna need a knee brace. Right,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm thirty three and I started running. I'm talking
Speaker 1: to my friend who runs like a lot, and he goes,
Speaker 1: you're gonna want to get knee brace. I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: not doing that. I'll do this till it hurts and
Speaker 1: all quick Like, I'm not gonna I'm not pushing through gear.
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to do this consistently. Okay, all right,
Speaker 1: let's take a quick break. We'll be right back to talk. Marco, Marco, Rubio,
Speaker 1: Marco the Rubio, Marco, the motherfucking Rubio, which is how
Speaker 1: he's asked me to introduce him. And we're back and yeah, Miles,
Speaker 1: He pointed out that Rubio was flex posting on his
Speaker 1: meeting with Zelinsky. I had missed this because I also
Speaker 1: don't hate follow people. Yeah, you know, look the flex post.
Speaker 1: We get it. Everybody's being guilty of it here and there.
Speaker 1: Maybe you got upgraded on airplane. You're like, oh, hell yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm taking a picture. Look at my stinking ass in
Speaker 1: first class. Flex post. You just maybe met one of
Speaker 1: your idols. You want to take a picture with them,
Speaker 1: put it on the Graham I get a little flex post.
Speaker 1: Try he gotta get a little flex copy meeting wordle legend,
Speaker 1: Kylie flip flick it up with me, bro right, or
Speaker 1: maybe you're on a zoom call with the Ukrainian President
Speaker 1: Zlinsky after the Russians tried to assassinate him three times
Speaker 1: in one week, and he's constantly moving around for his
Speaker 1: own safety as he leads his country's homeland defense. Flex
Speaker 1: post yes for Marco Rubio. So Steve Danes and Marco
Speaker 1: Rubio both posted like screenshots of their zoom call with
Speaker 1: President Zelinski over the weekend. And this was like a
Speaker 1: huge call apparently was like almost three hundred senators, house
Speaker 1: members and their staff. They were always Lensky, so he was,
Speaker 1: you know, catching them up to basically like what the
Speaker 1: situation was on the ground, what kind of aid they needed, etcetera.
Speaker 1: And then Rubio just literally posted just like as if
Speaker 1: he took a picture of a laptop, because you can
Speaker 1: tell by like the angle of it, this isn't a screen.
Speaker 1: It's like I'm gonna take photo of his phone. Yeah,
Speaker 1: let me take photo of computer. And it says on
Speaker 1: zoom call now with President Zelinsky, right now, at this moment,
Speaker 1: right now, And Steve Danes did the same thing currently
Speaker 1: on a zoom call with President Zelinsky, with like another
Speaker 1: again a crude iPhone picture of a computer. You know that.
Speaker 1: He saw Rubio do it, and he was like, no,
Speaker 1: I gotta let everyone know. It's like letting everyone know
Speaker 1: you're at the party. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: He's like, Rubio posts a story and didn't tag me.
Speaker 1: I meant everyone know I'm here too. I mean exactly
Speaker 1: because Steve Danes did post that, I believe, which is
Speaker 1: probably how long it took him to figure out how
Speaker 1: to do a screen shot. Right He's like, what do
Speaker 1: you mean command shift for? Why do you what is
Speaker 1: the Apple button? Open Apple? What? I think this is
Speaker 1: an opportunity for President Zelensky if you're because I know
Speaker 1: you're listening, I'm not gonna say if virtual backgrounds my man, Yeah,
Speaker 1: well throw the Eiffel Tower back there and throw Putin off.
Speaker 1: Exactly with that Looney Tunes logic that we're going to
Speaker 1: get through that Trump beyond. He's just pictures the Lensky
Speaker 1: painting a tunnel on a side of a Mountain to
Speaker 1: see if Putin will drive a tanking exactly. If he
Speaker 1: had put China as the fake background, Putin would have
Speaker 1: bombed China. We get the thing that Trump is gonna
Speaker 1: be talking about later on. Put a bathroom at the
Speaker 1: Kremlin as your background. Yes, wait a second, we're onto something.
Speaker 1: So this is like after right. The ambassador explicitly asked
Speaker 1: attendees to this Zoom meeting. This is from one of
Speaker 1: the other senators who like didn't post and was just like,
Speaker 1: what the fun is this guy doing? Said quote. The
Speaker 1: Ukrainian Ambassador very intentionally asked each of us on the
Speaker 1: Zoom to not share anything on social media during the
Speaker 1: meeting to protect the security of presidents. Lensky appalling in
Speaker 1: reckless aghurance by do U as senators. Uh yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean the last part goes without saying. But it's it's
Speaker 1: weird because Rubio, who last day checked is not Jason
Speaker 1: Bourne went on I believe Jake Tapper Show and CNN.
Speaker 1: It was just like everybody's just tripping. Okay wait Tapper.
Speaker 1: Tapper asked him like, hey, what what the fuck if
Speaker 1: some if everyone's asking you to go on TV to
Speaker 1: justify it. I bet everyone's not tripping. Yeah, it's not
Speaker 1: like they want you on there. If you're it's like like,
Speaker 1: we gotta, we need to find a way to get
Speaker 1: Rubio on our show. Has he done anything out of step?
Speaker 1: You tweeted a photo of Zelinski during the virtual meeting.
Speaker 1: Democratic Congressman Dean Phillips said that the Ukraine ambassador had
Speaker 1: explicitly asked lawmakers not to share anything on social media
Speaker 1: until after the meeting ended. Uh, just for Zelinsky, security
Speaker 1: is that true? Wasn't a mistake for you to tweet
Speaker 1: that picture? Well? First of all, she asked that like
Speaker 1: thirty minutes into the call, after I had already done it.
Speaker 1: The second is I think she was under the impression
Speaker 1: that no one knew that call was happening. Um, you
Speaker 1: know that car had been widely reported, Actually the specific
Speaker 1: time had been reported. There over three people on it.
Speaker 1: All the call details have been emailed. So there's nothing
Speaker 1: secure about that call and the picture. It's just a
Speaker 1: nondescript picture. It looks just like every the other ones
Speaker 1: that you've seen out there publicly, So don't there's no
Speaker 1: risk post. But you know you're always gonna have a
Speaker 1: couple of people that want their name in an article
Speaker 1: somewhere and mentioned in the press. So oh, you mean,
Speaker 1: like you're you're always gonna have these people who want
Speaker 1: attention for what they're doing that day, and yeah, people
Speaker 1: coming after me, you know, just because you have some
Speaker 1: cool friends. I think they're just really haters, you know,
Speaker 1: because I think a lot of those people weren't on
Speaker 1: the can So this is a brutal way to find out.
Speaker 1: I got Marco Rubio's haircut two days ago seeing that
Speaker 1: video with him on CNN. Yeah, he's I mean again,
Speaker 1: I'm sure you're a data analyst. You're an analyst, so
Speaker 1: you know it's a nondescript room, you know what's the problem.
Speaker 1: I also just love them two's like well, like ambassadorly
Speaker 1: said that like thirty minutes like into the call, Like
Speaker 1: I didn't even know until she said, like, that's not
Speaker 1: even fair. We're too busy tweeting out to pay attention
Speaker 1: at the beginning of the meeting. So ridiculous. Do you
Speaker 1: know he was saying he was so excited to do
Speaker 1: that all day. He knew he's going to get on there,
Speaker 1: he knew he's going to post the thing about it,
Speaker 1: and he just wanted the attention for being there. You
Speaker 1: want to be invited, and he got invited, and yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, like there is part of me like I
Speaker 1: get it. I get the urge to take a picture
Speaker 1: and say, like, you're on a zoom call with the
Speaker 1: most famous human being on earth at the moment. But
Speaker 1: that's if you completely remove all of the context as
Speaker 1: to why you are even speaking with this person and
Speaker 1: why they are even the most looked at famous person
Speaker 1: on the planet at the moment. Like come on, Like,
Speaker 1: I mean, I did a zoom show with Colin Mockery
Speaker 1: from whose lines it anyway, And I had a pretty
Speaker 1: similar situation happened where I took a screenshot becass so excited.
Speaker 1: I was like, and Zelenski is almost an even more
Speaker 1: famous comedian at this point then, like some would say
Speaker 1: even more like at this moment, you know, right, not
Speaker 1: that peak, but at this moment, yeah, yeah, like not
Speaker 1: if you take an advertage lifetime, but yeah, I have
Speaker 1: to see someone famous. But to be like this is crazy,
Speaker 1: this is the most famous guy, and then you know what,
Speaker 1: you think, I am sitting US senator. But that's I
Speaker 1: think I think that's the whole problem. There the whole
Speaker 1: Russian invasion of Ukraine like has really brought out this,
Speaker 1: I think in the mainstream press and also in a
Speaker 1: lot of politicians, this desire like this just there's just
Speaker 1: horny for a world where they are making life and
Speaker 1: death decisions and like their their entire job and the
Speaker 1: course of this country isn't like already predetermined unless you
Speaker 1: like change who they are entirely. So he definitely really
Speaker 1: wants everyone to think that. Like Zelinski was like, and
Speaker 1: Marco Rubio, how do we resolve this? And Marco Rubio
Speaker 1: like clicks the ray's hand button and zoom and then
Speaker 1: has brought into the big claim. He's like, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: thank you. This dude just basically C seed on a zoom,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? If not BC seed on zoom, Marco,
Speaker 1: did you have something you changed from the little party
Speaker 1: streamer moticonde hands clapping. I didn't know. Did you have
Speaker 1: something or you're just okay cool? Oh no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm just figuring out hot keys. Yeah, well not look
Speaker 1: at this. I can make my eyebrows look green, Marco.
Speaker 1: He really wanted to make me laugh. He should have
Speaker 1: made his taking a screenshot of Lynskey and made that
Speaker 1: his wallpaper, like he was sitting in the chair right
Speaker 1: or framed next to him. He's like he's like right
Speaker 1: next to him, nodding, and he's like at meeting with
Speaker 1: his Lensky and it's like shaking his hand, even though
Speaker 1: Link just has his arms out like Tim Robinson and
Speaker 1: a sketch and his hands just like flat out. It's
Speaker 1: like there's a sense of death or and he's like, yes,
Speaker 1: I'm hugging him, bringing him a drink, like you would
Speaker 1: see people making those little Zoom videos of themselves delivering
Speaker 1: themselves coffee early and remember when Zoom was fun, camera
Speaker 1: returns in the exact same T shirt that's the lins
Speaker 1: he's wearing. That would be hilarious, puffing his chest up.
Speaker 1: He's like, whoa twin day? Huh, Like tf W? All right,
Speaker 1: let's talk about Trump telling us, you know how where
Speaker 1: his brains at. He maybe our next president. He thinks
Speaker 1: he's going to be. And he was speaking with some
Speaker 1: donors over the weekend in Louisiana and he had a
Speaker 1: lot of thoughts on what is happening in Ukraine. Mm hmm,
Speaker 1: Like he knows Vladimir Putin, like v well, like so well,
Speaker 1: he's actually the homie Vladimir Putin, and this wouldn't have
Speaker 1: happened if I was president. He said, quote I knew,
Speaker 1: he says, I knew Putin. Y Okay, all right, Gautier,
Speaker 1: I knew Putin very well. He would not have done it.
Speaker 1: He would have never done it. He kept saying, this
Speaker 1: is like same line over and over again, when you're like, okay,
Speaker 1: but we already heard from John Bolton last week on this,
Speaker 1: and we saw with our own eyes you were actively
Speaker 1: trying to withhold aid to Ukraine for your own like
Speaker 1: political gains. And you also literally can't find it on
Speaker 1: a map. So sure, what other ideas you got, Donny?
Speaker 1: And then he went back to one of his old
Speaker 1: favorite you know tracks, which is NATO sucks and the
Speaker 1: US should leave or paying too much money. NATO is nothing,
Speaker 1: It's a paper tiger, blah blah blah blah blah. So
Speaker 1: he criticized, you know, the lack of like aggressive military response,
Speaker 1: as if like the response from the all these other
Speaker 1: countries like yeah, man, just fucking destroy just destroy the
Speaker 1: country with like nukes or something. But he was really
Speaker 1: really agitated that there wasn't like this huge show of
Speaker 1: like militaristic force and when people like, yeah, that's to
Speaker 1: like avoid a literal overt world war. Now it's like
Speaker 1: a Cold war world war where the West is definitely
Speaker 1: are being another country and being like, yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: we don't want to really want to get into it.
Speaker 1: We'll just give you the ship to blow them up with.
Speaker 1: And you know, because he didn't like that, he came
Speaker 1: up with it very clever response. Our idea. The solution
Speaker 1: was to paint F twenty two Raptors with Chinese flags
Speaker 1: and have them quote bomb the ship out of Russia.
Speaker 1: And then he said, China did it. We didn't do it.
Speaker 1: China did it, and then they start fighting with each
Speaker 1: other and we sit back and watch. That's literally that's
Speaker 1: a quote. I just picture him saying all this, and
Speaker 1: then it just pans over to Nathan Fielder, who's like
Speaker 1: nodding his head, like, yes, yes, paint the jets, have
Speaker 1: them do it, and then it's exactly it will work perfect.
Speaker 1: That is the like I guess it's a reminder of
Speaker 1: what it was like when he was the president, but
Speaker 1: like I had read that somebody tweeted that quote, like
Speaker 1: and then we say, China did it. We didn't do it, Folks,
Speaker 1: China did it, and then they start fighting. Had somebody
Speaker 1: had tweeted that quote I had. I had no clue
Speaker 1: if that was a joke or not, like I assumed
Speaker 1: it was, because it's it was met with like uproarious
Speaker 1: like laughter and applause when he said that to the donors.
Speaker 1: Now my question there is is it like is it
Speaker 1: the kind of laughter applause where it's like, holy sh it,
Speaker 1: I agree, this guy is a fucking genius and I
Speaker 1: didn't think of that, or is it more of like
Speaker 1: holy sh it it. I can't believe this guy thinks
Speaker 1: that ship would work. He's just kind of a goofy guy,
Speaker 1: you know, he just says stuff like that. I think
Speaker 1: they're just probably just like God, I can't believe this
Speaker 1: guy's here. We'll talk about this while golfing. I don't
Speaker 1: even think anyone's paying attention. It's yeah, I think yeah,
Speaker 1: people just go. I think they're used to being like
Speaker 1: Trump says something, you cheer. But I'm sure there are
Speaker 1: also people who, you know, people with very little knowledge
Speaker 1: about global military conflicts, like, yeah, that's fine. I don't
Speaker 1: know if that's a war crime. Which it is. I
Speaker 1: believe Trump is too rich people what his supporters are
Speaker 1: to him where he thinks they love him, and they
Speaker 1: laugh about him when he's not around, even if he
Speaker 1: helps them, because there's just he's just useful to them.
Speaker 1: He's just useful then, but he's a joke of a
Speaker 1: rich person to them, you know what I mean, He's
Speaker 1: very I don't know how wealthy these people were at
Speaker 1: the Louisiana fundraise or whatever, but imagine he doesn't talk
Speaker 1: to too many of his actual supporters because he fin
Speaker 1: he houses them in a airplane hangar and they get
Speaker 1: they see him there, but it has the second he
Speaker 1: leaves the room, everyone's like, oh my god, that fun,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? This guy's that he is
Speaker 1: a joke to them as well. I'm sure he was jokeing,
Speaker 1: but he's planning to run for president and was criticized
Speaker 1: for being like for his take on Russia, so it's
Speaker 1: it's just a weird thing to be joking. Oh, for sure,
Speaker 1: he's never thought anything. He's never thought about anything anything
Speaker 1: for Yeah, it's so I hadn't thought about him in
Speaker 1: like a week, do you know what I mean? He
Speaker 1: pops up so much from less frequently now, and then
Speaker 1: every time he does pop up, it's something like this,
Speaker 1: and you know, like he's gonna win again. And because
Speaker 1: in the intern um, the guy who's in there now
Speaker 1: has done nothing he said he would and told me
Speaker 1: to go back to an office, So I think, yeah, Also,
Speaker 1: I hope you guys saved us some money to pay
Speaker 1: those student loans back up my friend the banks. It
Speaker 1: really is. Uh. I know he has trouble remembering things,
Speaker 1: but I didn't think he'd forget everything he promised so quickly. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: you know, one day at a time, one day at
Speaker 1: a time, one crisis at a time. As they're like,
Speaker 1: all right, do we cut off the Russian oil and
Speaker 1: then have to figure I mean, I think it's really
Speaker 1: convenient because now Democrats are you know, rather than pointing
Speaker 1: a corporate greed and stuff thing like this war between
Speaker 1: we're with Russia attacking Ukraine. I mean, it's the inflation
Speaker 1: has gone whack. We do keep getting caught up in
Speaker 1: wars every time there's almost an election. It's crazy. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna look into it. Not better better to not
Speaker 1: better to leave it. But again I do I do
Speaker 1: want to commend Trump's like legitimate Looney Tunes logic on
Speaker 1: how to like defeat It is the duck season rabbit
Speaker 1: season of inciting warm right, I'm not familiar with duck
Speaker 1: season rabbits. Here ducks, he's hanging up. It's like when
Speaker 1: bugs Bunny would hang up duck season signs over the
Speaker 1: rabbit season signs, so Elmer Fudd would hunt the daffy
Speaker 1: instead of bugs. Yeah, this is him doing that. The
Speaker 1: planes with Chinese flags is hanging up duck season signs, right,
Speaker 1: And we all know F twenty two raptors, I mean
Speaker 1: the prized possession of air forces across the globe. Oh wait, no,
Speaker 1: they're only they have never been sold outside of the US.
Speaker 1: But okay, sure put a sticker on it. And now
Speaker 1: we're like you see vad to me? I mean, like
Speaker 1: what's going on there wildly? And they think they stole
Speaker 1: our planes too. Yeah, and there there are like you know,
Speaker 1: there's a school of international relations, the realist school, where
Speaker 1: it's just you know, might make right, and like, you know,
Speaker 1: we have to plan our future and international relations with
Speaker 1: the ideal the like everybody, you know, as soon as
Speaker 1: the major power built itself up and off they're going
Speaker 1: to come for us in China is in the process
Speaker 1: of doing that, and so the US needs to make
Speaker 1: friends with Russia and not like provoke this war. Like
Speaker 1: they had somebody who like took issue with I think
Speaker 1: I was regurgitating a little bit too much of like
Speaker 1: the New York Times talking points on the you know,
Speaker 1: Russian war invasion of Ukraine, and like they sent me
Speaker 1: a really interesting like lecture where this like professor from
Speaker 1: Chicago University of Chicago is like talking about like how
Speaker 1: that decision to back Ukraine's involvement in NATO is really
Speaker 1: like the very beginning of this whole thing. And it
Speaker 1: was like very foolish. That all makes sense to me,
Speaker 1: the fact that Trump is just said that the way
Speaker 1: to handle that is it's not even like that guy
Speaker 1: is thinking in chess and Trump is thinking in checkers.
Speaker 1: It's like so far below that he's like thinking in yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: checkers would involve like setting up a board, yeah, and
Speaker 1: knowing where the pieces start. It's like he walked into
Speaker 1: the middle of a checkers game and and farted on
Speaker 1: the board. Right. He was like, we called this dog
Speaker 1: poop sucker, and You're like what And then got lifted
Speaker 1: off the ground by the scent of his own fart
Speaker 1: and like sort of like when is going and they
Speaker 1: smell the pie wave, this is good. That would be
Speaker 1: the perpetual motion machine. It would be him just smelling it.
Speaker 1: I mean, a magnet in front of a car. Could
Speaker 1: it really feel like? Not a bad visual metaphor for
Speaker 1: his entire life, you know, just continuing to fail. He
Speaker 1: doesn't have to worry about his bones burs acting up
Speaker 1: with floating under the study of his own fart. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just farting his way alternative fuel. Yeah, alright, let's take
Speaker 1: a quick break. We'll be right back. M h And
Speaker 1: we're back. And hard Mountain Dew. We we've talked about
Speaker 1: it's impending existence since it was announced. It was presumably
Speaker 1: like birthed by just the gods that like the meme
Speaker 1: mobility of having hard Baha blasts like Taco Bell and
Speaker 1: you know Pepsi, which are the same company. I guess
Speaker 1: they they they're not fools. They know that this is
Speaker 1: like a slam dunk, but for execution, all they had
Speaker 1: to do was nail that execution. Baha blast is great
Speaker 1: because it has more sugar than regular mountain dew, which
Speaker 1: is has a shipload of sugar, like has an illegal
Speaker 1: amount of sugar in most countries, and Baha Blast coming
Speaker 1: through being like, nah, let's let's ramp that up. We
Speaker 1: want this thing to be on the verge of being
Speaker 1: a solid with how much sugar we sugar and caffeine.
Speaker 1: And then you know color the color of miniature golf
Speaker 1: water and we're we're in business. And then hard selters
Speaker 1: are obviously you know, coming on the strong m and yeah,
Speaker 1: I love Baha Blast. I love mountain Dew. I have
Speaker 1: tried to stop drinking it as much as possible. I
Speaker 1: still have a six pack in the in the fridge
Speaker 1: at all times in case, in case I need to
Speaker 1: celebrate behind a little piece of glass, you gotta like
Speaker 1: knockout to get to it. But you know, I don't drink,
Speaker 1: so I will not be partaken in the hard do so.
Speaker 1: But I was I was eager. I was like, this
Speaker 1: is you know, this is the evolution. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: everybody hearing about it where everyone was excited, whether you
Speaker 1: drink or you not, like not, it's just like like
Speaker 1: you said, it's a fucking meme. You're like, oh ship,
Speaker 1: Baha Blast is now like something that will lead to
Speaker 1: the US interest. That's crazy that whoever invented this stopped
Speaker 1: yelling at their step kids long enough to make it.
Speaker 1: So I think, you know, I like the idea of it,
Speaker 1: you know. And I was never being like, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I can't wait to seek this out for
Speaker 1: my next you know, uh inbibing moment. But you know,
Speaker 1: I think my instincts are correct because we're starting to
Speaker 1: get some reviews. The people at the take out got
Speaker 1: their hands on some because for right now, this ship
Speaker 1: is only available in like three markets in Tennessee, Iowa,
Speaker 1: and Florida. So funny, it's where do people shoot ship?
Speaker 1: In fields? That's a Friday right right? Okay, now add
Speaker 1: some Baja to and or in a mountain dew watermelon.
Speaker 1: I got so many flavors, and now we've got the
Speaker 1: market corner. And apparently retailers in those areas have said
Speaker 1: the ship is flying off the shelves like like out
Speaker 1: of five to one ratio to their other products. And
Speaker 1: I get that it's new and like we said, it's
Speaker 1: a drinkable fucking meme, like I would buy it just
Speaker 1: to be like, hey, come over and then I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I got that, I got that blasted mountain douche it,
Speaker 1: And people like, okay, you got that hard mountain dew. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I mean, this is a great thing to bring
Speaker 1: to a party even still, like I would love to
Speaker 1: order it at a bar where they make drinks that
Speaker 1: way the bartender knows. No, no, no, I don't want
Speaker 1: anything you've learned, you know, I want that one? Can
Speaker 1: I want you to kill me? It really feels like
Speaker 1: four local walked so hard mountain dew could I don't know,
Speaker 1: right at jet Ski area, that's what you would think,
Speaker 1: right that that that is the promise of the concept
Speaker 1: of this product. It has no caffeine and no sugar,
Speaker 1: Like what the what the funk are they thinking? Like
Speaker 1: the un calories though, because we've got to keep up
Speaker 1: with the other, with the white claws of the world. Right,
Speaker 1: But no, you don't, that's not your target. Like I know, right,
Speaker 1: nobody who is trying to get like combine their mountain
Speaker 1: dew drinking and getting fucked up is like gott to
Speaker 1: check my blood sugar, gotta make sure I gotta keep
Speaker 1: my blood pressure in check. No, we're we're I get it.
Speaker 1: I'm part of the group of people who like to
Speaker 1: die by chemical food. Yeah, I'm I mean, this should
Speaker 1: definitely be an option. It's great that they have an
Speaker 1: option for you know, people who have diabetes. They called
Speaker 1: mountain don't they have? Or he'll do. There's a lot
Speaker 1: of things they could call the lesser version of I
Speaker 1: don't know what's smaller than a mountain plant do. But
Speaker 1: he'll do, he'll do. He'll do sounds like a a
Speaker 1: like a King of the Hill nephew that you don't
Speaker 1: write what he'll do, right, But you know in this
Speaker 1: this one right up from the takeout, it's hilarious because they're,
Speaker 1: you know, their biggest complaint is there's so many fucking
Speaker 1: artificial sweeteners in it that like they can't handle the
Speaker 1: fucking taste this one, this excert, this beverage which tastes
Speaker 1: like sprite consumed immediately after downing a table spoon of
Speaker 1: bubble gum flavored a moxacillin. They're they're setting up these
Speaker 1: different like man Verse Technology, man or Society. The whole
Speaker 1: article y'all need to read. It's by Lilian Stone, and
Speaker 1: it's a great work of writing. It says the man
Speaker 1: Verse society. Conflict emerges in original Dudes. Artificial artificial sweetener content,
Speaker 1: as in the drink is so full of assa, soulfame,
Speaker 1: potassium or ace k and super lows that I cannot
Speaker 1: enter society because I am farting so so much. Black
Speaker 1: mirror really did come true. By the way, my gum
Speaker 1: of choice, and I'm a big I like to have
Speaker 1: it chew every once in a while, you guys, I'm
Speaker 1: a big I'm a big chewer. My gum choice is
Speaker 1: tried and and they switched to one of these artificial
Speaker 1: sweeteners that did contain in something that funked up your bows,
Speaker 1: like for a little while. Yeah, I was just like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is what is happening, chooting a piece of gup
Speaker 1: from chewing a piece of gup. The fall out of
Speaker 1: like one rich guy being like this could save us
Speaker 1: a hundred thousandth of a cent per pack. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: just and everyone's farting toilets across the nation. So yeah,
Speaker 1: like they go on and and many other flavors the like.
Speaker 1: The sort of verdict seems to be the same for
Speaker 1: all of them, which is like, this ship is a failure.
Speaker 1: It tastes fake. It tastes like medicine. It's there's nothing
Speaker 1: pleasant about it. It's barely carbonated. What are we doing?
Speaker 1: I'm gonna love this stuff. I think I love shit
Speaker 1: car like medicine tasting crap. I love it when you
Speaker 1: read the thing and you're like, it tastes like the
Speaker 1: sprite after you have the bubble gum a mox of
Speaker 1: sill and I was like that, I would that could
Speaker 1: That's good. I was like, I think they're trying to determine,
Speaker 1: but that should be on the post. I love I
Speaker 1: love all the I love like Neco wafers, I love
Speaker 1: the Circus peanuts, candy, I love the crap is like
Speaker 1: medicine taste and crap. It's kind of amazing that they
Speaker 1: failed this. I mean, granted, like this is going to
Speaker 1: appeal to some fucking freaks like Kyle, but don't just understand, no,
Speaker 1: but because you that you you read about like what
Speaker 1: their food laboratories are like, and you know they have
Speaker 1: these concepts of like mouth feel and you know, Mountain
Speaker 1: dew is I think one of the great you know,
Speaker 1: triumphs of human soul destroying capitalism because it's just like
Speaker 1: so perfect at accomplishing what it's trying to do and
Speaker 1: then to like have that same team or I guess
Speaker 1: it wasn't the same team, but like the same company
Speaker 1: design something that falls this flat and like miss is
Speaker 1: what people like about Mountain Dew so badly. It actually
Speaker 1: gives me a little bit of hope for the future
Speaker 1: of America because it's like, maybe maybe we're not on
Speaker 1: rails towards just a world where you know, maybe mountains
Speaker 1: the Godfather, maybe Baja Blast is part two, and maybe
Speaker 1: the hard stuff here is part three. It's a little bit,
Speaker 1: it's a little bit late. A lot of the people
Speaker 1: aren't go, but you know, stand alone, it might be
Speaker 1: all right. Yeah right, it's not its fault. Good Fellas
Speaker 1: a k a. Topo Chico's Heart Seltzers came out around
Speaker 1: the same time. I mean this, it's like you said, Jack,
Speaker 1: It's like, how does how does PepsiCo lose their way?
Speaker 1: You know, how did they lose their way? Why didn't
Speaker 1: they stand up? This sounds like the beginning to the
Speaker 1: biggest blowoff class at any college. Welcome folks to the
Speaker 1: Mountain Glenn Here at Glenview Community Calls Economics class will
Speaker 1: be exploring out it's two oh three The history of
Speaker 1: Mountain Dew folks. I think this would just be a
Speaker 1: whole class about foods that aren't colors. You've ever seen
Speaker 1: this color? But I mean like that's where you feel
Speaker 1: like they should know their market well enough, like the
Speaker 1: like the marketing of like the can, right, even if
Speaker 1: you look at the graphics on the can, it's like
Speaker 1: a fucking bears like ripping off like a mountain. Like
Speaker 1: it's they're like these agro animals and ship on it.
Speaker 1: It looks like somebody who like welds without like a
Speaker 1: fucking like like eye protection or face protection on. Like
Speaker 1: that's the energy I get from the cans. So to
Speaker 1: suddenly be like, but we got to compete with the
Speaker 1: hundred cow, zero sweetener, zero sugar added folks, Like, I
Speaker 1: just don't. I think that's where they funk up, by
Speaker 1: just not being aggressively being like it's basically pre mixed
Speaker 1: cocktail with mountain dew in it. Yeah, I'm looking at
Speaker 1: these ends, and it says that mountaineer is actually invented
Speaker 1: to be a mixer when it was invented overall, is
Speaker 1: that true? Originally intended to be a mixer for alcoholic
Speaker 1: spirits when mountain Dew was created more than eighty years ago.
Speaker 1: The brain is returning to its roots in one of
Speaker 1: the first alcoholic versions of a major soft drink. Based
Speaker 1: on the origins and the original like marketing around it,
Speaker 1: I would have to assume that spirit was moonshine. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's like mountain dew does taste like it was invented
Speaker 1: to make you not taste something else, right, Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: like I exist to cover up death. I never I
Speaker 1: never feel like direct wiring from my something I'm putting
Speaker 1: into my body to my brain as directly as I
Speaker 1: do when I direct a mountain dew. It's just like
Speaker 1: there's it's just so direct and like I don't jacking
Speaker 1: into the matrix. Yeah, I'm jacking into the main Baha
Speaker 1: blast mainframe. This comedian who lives Atlanta named Andy Stanford
Speaker 1: has a joke about how he's getting too old to
Speaker 1: just be walking down the street with the bottle of
Speaker 1: mountain dew. You just you can't just have that in
Speaker 1: your hands when after thirty it is green. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean I do. Look, I do. Look. I like to
Speaker 1: give somebody a quick up and down if I see
Speaker 1: him cruising with a big old bottle of mountain. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you might be worth talking to. I mean, you would be.
Speaker 1: You would be doing a lot of your eyes would
Speaker 1: get tired in the south Man. That's uh yeah, that's
Speaker 1: just about everyone. But that's why I'm curious why people aren't,
Speaker 1: you know, rising up and saying this is not our king.
Speaker 1: Our king is choke full of high fruc toast corn syrup.
Speaker 1: And you know why they're not rising up, I mean
Speaker 1: to Kyle. To Kyle's point, though, they like I I
Speaker 1: have to assume that they you know, when they're picking
Speaker 1: a test market, they're just like looking at where sales
Speaker 1: for Tanner right are like at their highest and you know,
Speaker 1: like going there Tennessee, Iowa, Florida. Just I feel like
Speaker 1: you the the mountain dew drinking populace is maybe not
Speaker 1: the one you want to funk with. Or maybe they are.
Speaker 1: Maybe they're all just they might be looking at like
Speaker 1: Nielsen ratings for more reruns and then just releasing the
Speaker 1: Mountain Hart Mountain Dew in those markets. All right, So
Speaker 1: this actually I wanted to quick sidebar wanna put this
Speaker 1: in a category of pop culture things that you know,
Speaker 1: listeners hit us with with your answers to this question.
Speaker 1: But this feels to me like a like obvious great
Speaker 1: idea that in execution sucked, like my my other example
Speaker 1: that I could come up with them, Like the two
Speaker 1: minutes after between me thinking of that and when we
Speaker 1: started recording was like I feel like water World was
Speaker 1: like a cool, great idea and then the execution wasn't
Speaker 1: quite there. Um. I'm also stealing from the Reddit threat,
Speaker 1: because there there is a Reddit threat that was like
Speaker 1: great great idea, bad execution. They called pointed to Downsized
Speaker 1: that like Matt Damon movie about adults being shrunk uh down.
Speaker 1: And I've always said that like that is shrunk shrunk
Speaker 1: down people, shrunk down characters. Is a under exploited like
Speaker 1: movie idea, like because we got Honey I Shrugged the Kids,
Speaker 1: which is now like outdated and it was four kids. Um,
Speaker 1: and like the only adult version we've gotten is downsized.
Speaker 1: I guess, I guess maybe aunt man, But it feels
Speaker 1: like that you want it, like like inner space, you
Speaker 1: want more like people got people got all tiny all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, adults got adults got tiny, give it
Speaker 1: to me or they could be kids. I don't give
Speaker 1: a fun just remake Honey I Shrunk the Kids Like
Speaker 1: you feel like there should be as many shrinking people
Speaker 1: movies as there are like these other sort of like
Speaker 1: heist movies. Yeah yeah, yeah, give me more shrunk people.
Speaker 1: How often can we rob a casino like that? Dude,
Speaker 1: I don't know that captured that after my imagination. Who
Speaker 1: would be in the Honey I Shrunk the Kids reboot?
Speaker 1: I think Andy Samberg plays Rick moranis you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? I don't remember any of the other And
Speaker 1: then I think we're good to go, and we may
Speaker 1: that'll get you in the room. Yeah, and someone plays
Speaker 1: a big giant aunt. That's the other part. I remember
Speaker 1: when they were in the front yard, freaked this ship
Speaker 1: out of me. When the sprinklers come on, you thought
Speaker 1: that was somebody playing that giant Aunt. It wasn't, no miles,
Speaker 1: that was a real giant ant. They shrunk those damn
Speaker 1: kids ship. I got laughed at when I when it
Speaker 1: was what do I want to be? When I grew
Speaker 1: up project in kindergarten, I said, I want to be
Speaker 1: I want to be the performer that plays the Aunt
Speaker 1: and Honey Shrunk the Kids. Do you guys have an
Speaker 1: examples of this, like ideas that seem like, Okay, that's
Speaker 1: gonna be great, and then they suck. The Hindenburg. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the Hindenberg is a great idea. Look at that you
Speaker 1: can float around all cool. It has a renewable resource involved. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: the renewable real sources fairly flammable. The dirigible future that
Speaker 1: was promised where everybody's just fucking blimping around, blimping around everywhere, yeah,
Speaker 1: blimping super underrated. I think, man, I it's it's so
Speaker 1: weird because you say that, I'm like math funk with water.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I know it's bad, and I guess that's
Speaker 1: why it's something I'm trying to think of, Like, Okay,
Speaker 1: what did I just wish there was? They gave me
Speaker 1: just a little bit more. I feel like so many
Speaker 1: things are like that, but it's hard for me to
Speaker 1: pick something. At the moment. I'm really into like the
Speaker 1: premise of these new Jurassic Park movies where like the
Speaker 1: dinosaurs got out and but like apparently those movies suck,
Speaker 1: But like, if we just live, just give me a
Speaker 1: world where we live in a place where you're you know,
Speaker 1: there's a you have to be inside today, inside like
Speaker 1: a metal cage, caged home today because dinosaurs are like
Speaker 1: coming through like that fun future about many discs and yo,
Speaker 1: that's so far. I was literally going to say that,
Speaker 1: really what, I'm like, what did I because I had
Speaker 1: to think to myself, I'm like, what's something that I
Speaker 1: fucked with? And it was a hold out for a
Speaker 1: long time, like oh, insisting that this was gonna work,
Speaker 1: and I, you know, I used to I used to
Speaker 1: make so many little custom many discs and ship and
Speaker 1: I thought I was on. You know, there was the
Speaker 1: wave of the future until like burnable c d s
Speaker 1: and like CD drives became like you know, ubiquitous. But
Speaker 1: I really the mini discs felt like I don't know,
Speaker 1: there's some of the physical media that made a mini
Speaker 1: disc feel like like what I was listening to was
Speaker 1: really important. The mini discs felt like you had evidence, right,
Speaker 1: like someone's like handing you like intail but it's actually
Speaker 1: a switch Foot song. Wait, I don't even I don't
Speaker 1: think I've ever like paid attention to many small CDs.
Speaker 1: No one did, but that's because they they were invented
Speaker 1: like the same time is very very early, like hundred
Speaker 1: and make by like MP three players, right, so they
Speaker 1: were replaced by nothing immediately, Yeah, because it was like,
Speaker 1: you know this the like last dying farts of the
Speaker 1: physical media industry trying to be like what if you
Speaker 1: got this though? And it's easy to just record on
Speaker 1: these they're like tapes, but their CDs they didn't just
Speaker 1: long enough to have the stuff everywhere where. CDs are
Speaker 1: still kind of around because every CD players are involved,
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, Like a mini disc player was so
Speaker 1: niche its whole existence, right. I feel like in the
Speaker 1: food category, Pizza Hut has dropped a lot of specialty
Speaker 1: pizzas on us that are like amazing ideas, and then
Speaker 1: every time I have them, they just taste like extra salt,
Speaker 1: extra salt TP. Sure, for sure I had the I
Speaker 1: did have the Little Caesar's Batman Pizza Cal's own combination.
Speaker 1: Did Yeah, I do have my limited edition the Batman
Speaker 1: art that says Little Caesars Pizza on it. It is,
Speaker 1: it tastes it's a little liquid. The whole thing kind
Speaker 1: of tastes a little too wet to be pizza. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Too soft. It's like soft and runny, and it all
Speaker 1: sort of MUSHes together sort of. You ever see that
Speaker 1: area where two oceans meet and one of them is
Speaker 1: a little brown and the other one is blue, and
Speaker 1: it's like, that's what the pizza feels like. You don't
Speaker 1: know where. You're like, shouldn't all this be shouldn't it
Speaker 1: just be mixing? And it's like, oh no, the ingredients
Speaker 1: are bumping into each other in a weird way. Wow.
Speaker 1: And did you see the Batman or just go I'm
Speaker 1: go go see that today. Wow. Okay. I like to
Speaker 1: go in the middle of the day when there's less
Speaker 1: people around. Yeah, okay. Oh, that way you can get
Speaker 1: emotional in there and not feel bad. That way I
Speaker 1: can keep asking my girlfriend which one is the Batman.
Speaker 1: I like to do fun stuff like that. Oh so
Speaker 1: you figured out a little laz and you just like
Speaker 1: to do fun, little fun, little gags like there's there's
Speaker 1: fun to be had in empty movie theaters. Oh, Batman
Speaker 1: like sort of thing. So that I'm hoping figure out
Speaker 1: finally what happened to his parents, right, I'm just hoping
Speaker 1: this movie finally covers the same two fictional people I've
Speaker 1: seen died nine times this century. If they were like
Speaker 1: the fact of the joker jam that in there was
Speaker 1: very I don't know, but the the if they if
Speaker 1: they dramatize that scene one more time, it would be
Speaker 1: so funny. I hope Robert Pattinson's Batman finds that out
Speaker 1: by watching one of the other Batman movies on my
Speaker 1: pet because I know that, like it came up because
Speaker 1: there's something in the new movie that suggests that the
Speaker 1: timeline of his parents death was two thousand one. People
Speaker 1: were like, so that that means that he was coming
Speaker 1: from like they were coming from the first Fast and
Speaker 1: the Furious movie or you know, Shreck or something like that.
Speaker 1: If they just could have held off to have him
Speaker 1: leaving Twilight, it would have been like a perfect, perfect
Speaker 1: nod and then that would be okay with seeing it again. Yeah, right, Well,
Speaker 1: Kyle as always a true pleasure having you on TV.
Speaker 1: Where can people find you? Follow you all that good stuff.
Speaker 1: I'm Kyle Ayers on Instagram and Twitter, and I have
Speaker 1: a podcast called Never Seen It where comedians rewrite movies
Speaker 1: they've never seen. That's gonna be coming back pretty soon.
Speaker 1: MC got like Kenry Sbrowski and Marrow Wilson and some
Speaker 1: fun people who are gonna be doing that and uh,
Speaker 1: but you don't follow me online, I'll post about it nice. Uh.
Speaker 1: And is there a tweet or some of the work
Speaker 1: of social media you've been enjoying? Yeah, I, uh, dang,
Speaker 1: that's funny. We just talked about this, so I don't
Speaker 1: want to do I'm glad. I wrote two down so
Speaker 1: Ellie crime and doll I hope I said that properly.
Speaker 1: I might not have tweeted so grateful for my spot
Speaker 1: treatment today and then in parentheses held face above strainer
Speaker 1: while making mac and cheese. And it's very relatable. M hm, miles,
Speaker 1: where can people find you? What's tweet you've been enjoying?
Speaker 1: Find me on Twitter and Instagram at Miles of Gray
Speaker 1: and also of the other pod for twenty fiance with
Speaker 1: Sophia Alexandra, where we talked about ninety day fiancee tweets
Speaker 1: that I like at slappy but it's with a vs
Speaker 1: v l v p p Y tweeted if you're still
Speaker 1: in your first pair of AirPods, you're responsible, motherfucker for
Speaker 1: real and thank you. I felt that also, he's still
Speaker 1: in your first pair of AirPods. Yeah. Yeah, it's also
Speaker 1: the panic of like like when I lost it as
Speaker 1: a kid. My parents are like, okay, here's the new
Speaker 1: policy is one and done. It's like, but I need that.
Speaker 1: It's like, well, you shouldn't have lost that ship because
Speaker 1: it's expensively, but I need my Police Academy handheld video
Speaker 1: game from Tiger Electronics. Uh huh, that is a need.
Speaker 1: You don't want to losing that exactly. Another one is
Speaker 1: from Shohanna Underscores striny Sjohanna Strinavaca tweeted, you were searched
Speaker 1: forty three times on LinkedIn this week. Okay, so where's
Speaker 1: my job? Which feels yeah, it's always like what does
Speaker 1: that even mean? And then uh, Stephen mones Elli at
Speaker 1: Stephen ste v a n z E t t I
Speaker 1: tweeted Mike Jones blowing on that Indo GameCube Nintendo fourteen
Speaker 1: year old Stephen, he gets me, although I have to
Speaker 1: pull your card there. That was actually a slim thug
Speaker 1: who said that part. It wasn't Mike Jones on that
Speaker 1: song on tipping anyway. You shout out to my wow,
Speaker 1: nice try asshole. That was your message to that tweet
Speaker 1: that you are. You can find me on Twitter at
Speaker 1: Jack Underscore O'Brien a couple of tweets I've been enjoying
Speaker 1: at Twitter's bad boy t g B on Twitter tweeted,
Speaker 1: I'm at a cardiology convention in Chicago and the keynote
Speaker 1: speaker is being arrested for murder. It's a fugitive reference.
Speaker 1: And Adam Serious tweeted me, here's your thirty birthday card,
Speaker 1: friend crying please stop. One was plenty. You can find
Speaker 1: us on Twitter at Daily Zy Guys. We're at the
Speaker 1: Daily See Guys on Instagram. We have a Facebook fan
Speaker 1: page on a website, Daily zey Guys dot com where
Speaker 1: we post our episodes. On our foot note, we link
Speaker 1: offs the information that we talked about today's episode, as
Speaker 1: well as a song. Do we think you might enjoy
Speaker 1: miles with song? Do we think people should go check out? Oh?
Speaker 1: Just some nice little beats that will make you feel
Speaker 1: like you're in seven. This is a track called Little
Speaker 1: Creatures by Jade Cicada And I don't know when I
Speaker 1: when I first heard this song, it felt like something
Speaker 1: that would have been in like the movie like Wild Things,
Speaker 1: or like Intolerable Cruelty, or something where it just feels
Speaker 1: like those kinds of instrumentals, or you just should like,
Speaker 1: it's just to reveal a character, and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: they're cool because this song is cool. And that's the
Speaker 1: very specific idea I had when I heard this song.
Speaker 1: So this is Little Creatures by Jade Cicada. All right,
Speaker 1: we'll go check that song out. The Daily Zy Guys
Speaker 1: is a production by Heart Radio. For more podcast from
Speaker 1: my Heart Radio, visit the heart Radio app, Apple podcast,
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. That's gonna
Speaker 1: do it for us this morning. We're back this afternoon
Speaker 1: to tell you what's trending, and we'll talk to y'all
Speaker 1: then bye bye