Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central. Following last week's extreme heats,
Speaker 1: California has announced that they will become the first states
Speaker 1: to introduce a ranking system for heat waves so people
Speaker 1: can easily understand how hot it's going to get. Which
Speaker 1: isn't that just temperature? Did they just invent the thermometer?
Speaker 1: Like what, I guess I could see how this will
Speaker 1: be useful. It will be like hot, extremely hot, dangerously hot,
Speaker 1: and then in dress alba, and if it's indris alba,
Speaker 1: stay in dogs, stay indoors, and check on your grandmother.
Speaker 1: In economic news on Tuesday, the government reported that despite
Speaker 1: raising interest rates, inflation is still incredibly high, and in response,
Speaker 1: the stock market dropped points, the worst drop since And
Speaker 1: can I just say the stock market is a little
Speaker 1: bit no, I mean every single one of our which
Speaker 1: must be really inflation, not infacion, down, unemployment. We just
Speaker 1: have to do it. We'll roll with it. But the
Speaker 1: slightest bad news and the stock markets like, oh I'm
Speaker 1: crash and this is my worst day two years. I
Speaker 1: don't think I can ever come back for amness. And
Speaker 1: then every time the next day it will be like
Speaker 1: so I might have reacted a little harshly yesterday, I
Speaker 1: might have ever reacted, and I feel like today's gonna
Speaker 1: be my best day ever. So much drama. In science news,
Speaker 1: NASA is testing a new planetary defense system by launching
Speaker 1: a space probe directly into an asteroid to see if
Speaker 1: it can knock it off its course. Yeah, and I
Speaker 1: guess if that doesn't work, I'm assuming that's gonna go
Speaker 1: with Plan B, which is talking to the asteroid about
Speaker 1: bitcoin until it naturally veers away. It's just gonna drift
Speaker 1: away from Earth. But let's move on to the big
Speaker 1: news of the day, and it is still about Queen Elizabeth,
Speaker 1: the second Queen of the Handels and the first men
Speaker 1: Lacy of the Great Grass Sea and Wales, mother of
Speaker 1: Corgis and maker of chains, of the ninety six years
Speaker 1: of living her best life. The Queen's passing has obviously
Speaker 1: made headlines all over the globe, so let's catch up
Speaker 1: on all those headlines in our latest installments of the
Speaker 1: Royal Rumble. Today. Queen Elizabeth was laid in states at Westminster,
Speaker 1: and no surprise, the British went all out for it,
Speaker 1: because the British love doing ship all dignified, but they
Speaker 1: do have you seen the Changing of the guard. That's
Speaker 1: a forty five minute ceremony just to clock out. So
Speaker 1: when the Queen herself dies, best believed the pump was
Speaker 1: going to be everywhere. I'm talking streets filled with giant
Speaker 1: British flags. I'm talking soldiers with their fanciest hats. I'm
Speaker 1: talking to cost get decked out with the royal crown
Speaker 1: on top of it, which means technically, for a while
Speaker 1: that casket was the rule of England. Yeah, I read
Speaker 1: that on Wikipedia, and officials expect that more than seven
Speaker 1: thousand mourners will come to see the queen lying in states,
Speaker 1: with people waiting up to thirty hours in a line
Speaker 1: stretching five miles long. It's basically like trying to vote
Speaker 1: in Georgia. That's how dedicated you have to be to
Speaker 1: see the queen. But my favorite ritual, my favorite ritual
Speaker 1: in this whole thing is that, and this is completely true,
Speaker 1: the Royal beekeeper has to inform the Queen's bees that
Speaker 1: the Queen had died. That is a real thing that
Speaker 1: they have to do. And look, they don't have any
Speaker 1: footage of it, but I feel like I can imagine
Speaker 1: that it didn't go, well, hello everyone, Hello, I'm afraid
Speaker 1: I have some difficult news. The Queen is dead. Yeah no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no, not your not your queen, not your queen,
Speaker 1: the queen, not your queen. Calmed down, everyone, calmed down.
Speaker 1: Everything is going to be fine, and everything is gonna
Speaker 1: be fine. Okay, we have a new leader and Charles
Speaker 1: will now be the king coming in. So yeah, a
Speaker 1: lot of people are mourning. But it turns out while
Speaker 1: the royal family has their official rituals, the people have
Speaker 1: their own way of mourning their beloved queen, and Buckingham
Speaker 1: Palace has politely asked them to cut that ship out.
Speaker 1: Who've also heard that authorities are asking the public to
Speaker 1: stop leaving certain gifts outside Buckingham Palace. What can you
Speaker 1: tell us about that? Yeah, so they're specifically asking people
Speaker 1: not to bring any more toy Bear. So this all
Speaker 1: started during the Queen's Platinum Jubilee celebrations. The Queen participated
Speaker 1: in a video skit alongside an animated version of Paddington
Speaker 1: Bear that was a real hit here a sensation, and
Speaker 1: so in honor of that, people have been bringing toy
Speaker 1: bears and marmalade sandwiches, which were mentioned in naskit to
Speaker 1: the grounds of bucking In Palace. There have been so
Speaker 1: many bears brought that the Royal Park Service is asking
Speaker 1: people not to bring any more bears into instead bring
Speaker 1: organic tributes such as unwrapped flowers. Okay, hold up, hold up,
Speaker 1: hold up. This woman ruled the world's largest empire, and
Speaker 1: that's what people remember her for. People like, oh the
Speaker 1: lady who are too with Paddington? Yeah? Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1: She was the longest reigning queen in world history. She
Speaker 1: drove an ambulance in World War Two. She knighted legends,
Speaker 1: han't she had Princess Diana killden. You remember her from
Speaker 1: a sketch Paddington Bear. By the way, I'm not sure
Speaker 1: leading a trail of teddy bears outside the palace is
Speaker 1: a good idea. I mean, that's already how Prince Andrew
Speaker 1: finds his girlfriends. But it's not just marmalade em bears.
Speaker 1: People are leaving all sorts of things. They're leaving flowers,
Speaker 1: they're leaving pictures. I'll tell you what. This is a
Speaker 1: great opportunity to get rid of anything that you don't
Speaker 1: want to. Just disguise it as a gift to be like, oh,
Speaker 1: glorious Queen, I honor you with this ottoman that has
Speaker 1: a wobbly leg. It is from the great Swedish Kingdom
Speaker 1: of Ikea. But while some people and bees are mourning
Speaker 1: her Majesty's passing, many other people are having a slightly
Speaker 1: different reaction. Not everything was scripted today. One person protesting
Speaker 1: Prince Andrew was quickly removed from the Crown a day earlier.
Speaker 1: It was signage not shouting that police in Edinburgh had issued.
Speaker 1: This woman's sign was in protest and imperialism inflicted on
Speaker 1: the global South, she says, and now has been charged
Speaker 1: with breach of the peace. Another man, Simon Hill, where
Speaker 1: he was arrested and de arrested in Oxford, and a
Speaker 1: proclamation Sir a many for the king after he shouted
Speaker 1: out who elected him? I love that? I feel like
Speaker 1: everyone in the UK is amazing. It's like people heckling,
Speaker 1: you're sick. Old man's were like, who elected him? That's
Speaker 1: a great lion? Who made you kid? All right, your mom?
Speaker 1: Sorry about that guy, but yeah. The police in Britain
Speaker 1: have arrested people for disrupting the royal ceremonies basically, but
Speaker 1: with their opinions, which I was like, you, guys, the
Speaker 1: crown has gotten soft. Someone just holding a sign. Your guys,
Speaker 1: back in the day, a crowd that didn't like you,
Speaker 1: their opinion would be that your body should be separated
Speaker 1: from your head. Now they're just holding up a sign.
Speaker 1: You can just turn me on the way. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: still gotta neck use it like you're gonna arrest the
Speaker 1: lady in Scotland for holding a sign. I've seen, brave heart.
Speaker 1: When the Scottish want to protest the British crown, you'll know,
Speaker 1: you will know. And this really makes you appreciate how
Speaker 1: much freedom of speech people have you In America. You
Speaker 1: can do whatever you want. You you can say the president,
Speaker 1: you can give a congressman the finger, you can try
Speaker 1: to murder the Vice president. It's all free speech, baby,
Speaker 1: It's all free speech. And the backlash, the backlash to
Speaker 1: the British monarchy hasn't just been coming from the United
Speaker 1: King himself, because in many parts of the world, especially Africa,
Speaker 1: people have a very different relationship with the Queen. Across
Speaker 1: the African continent, there have been people who are saying,
Speaker 1: I will not mourn for Queen Elizabeth and they heard it.
Speaker 1: More than a million people into concentration comes where they
Speaker 1: were tortured and dehumanized. Which is why you see a
Speaker 1: statement like this from the South African opposition and party,
Speaker 1: the Economic Freedom Fighters, that said, we do not mourn
Speaker 1: the death of Elizabeth because to us, her death as
Speaker 1: a reminder of a very tragic period in this country,
Speaker 1: in Africa's history. During her seventh year reign as queen,
Speaker 1: she never once acknowledged the atrocities that her family inflected
Speaker 1: on many native people that Britain invaded across the world.
Speaker 1: If there is really life and justice after death, Elizabeth
Speaker 1: and her ancestors get what they deserve. May Elizabeth and
Speaker 1: her ancestors get what they deserve. You know what I
Speaker 1: love about that line is that you can't really get angry,
Speaker 1: because if you do, then it means that you acknowledge
Speaker 1: what she deserves is bad? Mad she get what she did.
Speaker 1: How dare you say that, well, what does she deserve?
Speaker 1: I don't know, And I know some of these reactions
Speaker 1: seem extreme, but when you consider what the British Empire did,
Speaker 1: these reactions are actually pretty reasonable. Right. You can't expect
Speaker 1: the oppressed to mourn the oppressor. It's never gonna happen.
Speaker 1: It would be like giving a eulogy for the guy
Speaker 1: who stole your hub caps. So I didn't know more
Speaker 1: Reese well, but he was definitely a go getter. By
Speaker 1: the way, has anyone seen my hub caps? And I
Speaker 1: know some people would say, but look, Trevor, the Queen
Speaker 1: wasn't really in charge. She's just a figurehead. You can't
Speaker 1: blame her for the atrocities that the British Empire committed. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: fair enough. But you also understand in her entire reign
Speaker 1: she never repented. She never once made amends. Right, there
Speaker 1: wasn't even one like notes apopology on her Twitter. Nothing.
Speaker 1: I mean her crown. Her crown still has that big
Speaker 1: asked diamond that they took from South Africa. Right, it
Speaker 1: still has the color and diamond is the ultimate conflict diamond.
Speaker 1: The least you could do is give it back to
Speaker 1: who I don't know. I don't alone, looks like you could.
Speaker 1: You could try. Don't find find a South African who
Speaker 1: hosts selating a TV shows. It could be any one
Speaker 1: of them. Then will be on the clock to forgive me.
Speaker 1: There is a ton of baggage surrounding the British monarchy
Speaker 1: and it has a lot of people asking questions about
Speaker 1: its future. You know, should it continue, Should they make
Speaker 1: ted Lasso the Queen? You know, he might surprise you.
Speaker 1: Should British taxpayers have to continue funding the royal family
Speaker 1: or should they just privatize it the crypto dot com
Speaker 1: King of England. Either way, it's gonna say a lot
Speaker 1: of work to shape the monarchy into something that everyone
Speaker 1: can get behind. But based on his first weekend power,
Speaker 1: it looks like King Charles isn't the guy to do it.
Speaker 1: When we begin with King Charles and his problems with pens,
Speaker 1: his reign to this point has been marked by pen problems.
Speaker 1: The latest was in Northern Ireland where he wrote the
Speaker 1: wrong date on a document and then the pen started leaking.
Speaker 1: He's gonna get and that trouble came just days after
Speaker 1: Charles appeared to get angry when there were too many
Speaker 1: pens on a desk he was using, urgently telling an
Speaker 1: aid to get rid of them quick, quick, quait, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: what the hell was that? You see that thing he did? Okay?
Speaker 1: He's also the rule of an animal kingdom. And by
Speaker 1: the way, I love how Charles says it depends leak
Speaker 1: on him all the time. Are the way bloody you
Speaker 1: literally the King of England. Dude, if you don't like
Speaker 1: the pens, get different pens. I'm not an expert in
Speaker 1: the monarchy, but I'm pretty sure the hierarchy doesn't go
Speaker 1: Prince William, King Charles and then the guy who buys
Speaker 1: the pens. I don't think that's how it goes, just
Speaker 1: getting new pen. I will say, though, I feel kind
Speaker 1: of bad for him. I do because in the old days,
Speaker 1: the king would have never had these issues. There's be
Speaker 1: no leaking pens. Also, the king would never get corrected
Speaker 1: after righting the wrong date that that just would have
Speaker 1: been the new dates. The king would just be like
Speaker 1: Valentine's Days the fifteenth right. But yes, of course my note,
Speaker 1: of course, my lord. Cancel your dinner everybody. I don't
Speaker 1: care if you are going to propose, just cancel it,
Speaker 1: Patty can now, Look, maybe King Charles is just stressed
Speaker 1: out right now. Maybe that's why this is happening, because
Speaker 1: becoming king is a lot of pressure. I mean, there's
Speaker 1: like fifteen different forks to memorize, and you have to
Speaker 1: sleep with that crowd on. That's not comfortable. But if
Speaker 1: you paid attention to King Charles back during his prince days,
Speaker 1: you would know that this is pretty much how he's
Speaker 1: always been. The Prince of Worlds has grown up in
Speaker 1: such a privileged lifestyle that he doesn't have mechanics to
Speaker 1: choose for himself anymore. Everything he's done for him is
Speaker 1: pajamas oppressed. Every morning is che lasers are pressed flat
Speaker 1: with an iron. The water temperature has to be just
Speaker 1: tepid and only half full. Prince Charles does have his
Speaker 1: valets squeeze one inch of toothpaste onto his toothbrush every morning.
Speaker 1: If anyone gets anything wrong, everybody has scolded. On one occasion,
Speaker 1: he rang me from his library and he said, oh, Pauled,
Speaker 1: a letter from the Queen seems to have fallen into
Speaker 1: my waste paper bin. Would you pick it out the way?
Speaker 1: His paper bim was there. He was sat there. I
Speaker 1: had to bend down into the paper bin and pick
Speaker 1: out the letter put it back on his desk. Will
Speaker 1: that be all, your Royal highness? You know what? This
Speaker 1: guy had to bend down and pick something up for
Speaker 1: Charles for it, like when I was a kid. After
Speaker 1: King's had to pull swords out of stones. This dude
Speaker 1: can barely pull his dick out of his own pants. Percy,
Speaker 1: I need assistance. Don't cancel, you're dead. I need to pay.
Speaker 1: You know, you know what this this, this tells you.
Speaker 1: The story about Charles is like one The royals have
Speaker 1: been royally spoilt, all right, and too. I can tell
Speaker 1: you that nobody who works in that palace is African,
Speaker 1: because I'll tell you not if there was one African
Speaker 1: mom who worked in that palace. You try and pull that,
Speaker 1: you try and pull that, just be over there, just
Speaker 1: be like, can you come and pick this farm? And
Speaker 1: should be like are you are you? Are you miss
Speaker 1: your us right now? Are you telling me to pick up? Well?
Speaker 1: I am that there is only one king and that
Speaker 1: is Jesus. He's only one king in this way, and
Speaker 1: that is Jess. You pick up that pepper. You pick
Speaker 1: up that pepper now, Charles. But look, instead of getting angry,
Speaker 1: maybe we need to understand that the Royals aren't ordinary people.
Speaker 1: You know, They're like strange creatures you need to observe
Speaker 1: from a distance to understand. And that's probably why David
Speaker 1: Attenborough has teamed up with the BBC once again for
Speaker 1: a new kind of nature show. Here we have a
Speaker 1: rare sighting of a silver hairs Charles, who has just
Speaker 1: been made leader of his island kingdom. He is the
Speaker 1: alpha now and he is not afraid to display his dominus.
Speaker 1: The rest of the tribe watches as the alpha performs
Speaker 1: a ceremonial task, the ritualistic marking of his territory on
Speaker 1: an incredibly large piece of pain. A goodwit ches he's
Speaker 1: disleased a tossom over the positioning of a pen. He
Speaker 1: bears his teeth and attempt to intimidate, and you can
Speaker 1: feel this checks the message has been sent. Your new
Speaker 1: ruler isn't at. Let's kick things off with one of
Speaker 1: the most amazing and positive stories involving a billionaire. You
Speaker 1: know how most billionaires only seem to want to get
Speaker 1: more and more and more billions so that I guess
Speaker 1: they can afford the new iPhone. Well, it turns out
Speaker 1: not every super rich person thinks like that. In an
Speaker 1: extraordinary active charity, the founder of the outdoor gear and
Speaker 1: clothing brand Padagonia has given away his three billion dollar
Speaker 1: company ownership has now been transferred to especially created trust
Speaker 1: that is going to use any profits not reinvested in
Speaker 1: the business to fight climate change. That's expected to be
Speaker 1: roughly one hundred million dollars a year. Three year old
Speaker 1: Evan Shenard, who started Patagonia roughly a half since a
Speaker 1: year ago, said quote, we are making Earth our only shareholder. Wow.
Speaker 1: The founder of Patagonia decided being a billionaire was too
Speaker 1: much balling for any one person, and so he's decided
Speaker 1: to give all the money away, which which will you
Speaker 1: think about? It is actually the most bullet move of
Speaker 1: all time. Huh yeah, because who's more of a baller
Speaker 1: the person who has a billion dollars or the person
Speaker 1: who literally used a billion dollars to make it rain.
Speaker 1: That's what he's doing because the Earth is going through
Speaker 1: a dropt He saw what happened in California, is like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make it rain. And who would have thought
Speaker 1: that a billionaire could give away his money to help
Speaker 1: the planet instead of trying to escape it in a
Speaker 1: penis rocket. I didn't even though that was possible. I
Speaker 1: didn't know, but apparently you can. And if I'm the Earth,
Speaker 1: this is great news for me because I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: pollution is killing me. But now I'm rich enough to
Speaker 1: stunt on other planets. Where's your private jet? Pluto? Are
Speaker 1: you even a planet anymore? Bamn bad. I would say
Speaker 1: it's gonna be a little bit awkward for if astronaut's
Speaker 1: kids when they try to explain why they didn't inherit
Speaker 1: their dad's billions. You know, it's like, so did your
Speaker 1: father give you the money? It's like, no, he gave
Speaker 1: it to a polar bear. It's like, damn, you probably suck. Now,
Speaker 1: if we had more time, we could talk about how
Speaker 1: the founder of Patagonia is showing us that you can
Speaker 1: still be super rich and not be a billionaire. And
Speaker 1: he's showing that hyper capitalism isn't the only way of
Speaker 1: business can run, and it can still be successful, and
Speaker 1: it can still make money and it can contribute as
Speaker 1: much as it gets. But we don't have the time
Speaker 1: to talk about that, because while the owner of Patagonia
Speaker 1: is trying to be the biggest advocate, Florida government run
Speaker 1: the Sanctus is trying to be the Earth's biggest dick.
Speaker 1: Now that dramatic and controversial twist in the battle over immigration. Overnight,
Speaker 1: the governor of Florida taking credit for sending at least
Speaker 1: two planes filled with migrants to the wealthy Massachusetts island
Speaker 1: of Martha's Vineyard. The planes carried fifty migrants from Venezuela,
Speaker 1: and the island community was given no heads up about it.
Speaker 1: All they did was see some planes and a bunch
Speaker 1: of people come off. The group arrived with children and
Speaker 1: some elderly family members, all of whom could not speak English.
Speaker 1: The community though at it together they helped them. They
Speaker 1: set them up in a nearby church overnight. Now what's
Speaker 1: truly bizarre about this situation is all of these immigrants
Speaker 1: came from Texas, and it appears in one of the
Speaker 1: planes were provided by Florida specifically to bring them here.
Speaker 1: You know, there's assholes and then there's this guy. No,
Speaker 1: because you know, sometimes you know someone is so terrible.
Speaker 1: The would asshole doesn't quite capture the essence enough, you know,
Speaker 1: because everyone is an asshole. Like my neighbor is an asshole.
Speaker 1: You know, drivers and trafficer assholes. Hell, I'm an asshole,
Speaker 1: but run the sanctists. He's like, he's like the little edges,
Speaker 1: little ridges around the asshole. They're really catchhole the ship
Speaker 1: because I can't show you that on TV. Here's a
Speaker 1: picture of a star wos mold, so you know exactly
Speaker 1: what I'm trying to say, just those little because here's
Speaker 1: the thing. Remember, run the Sanctists is the governor of Florida.
Speaker 1: So why is he grabbing refugees in Texas and shipping
Speaker 1: them to Massachusetts? Huh? Why? So he can prove that
Speaker 1: American's immigration system is broken yet everyone knows that, But
Speaker 1: instead of pushing lawmakers to actually reform the system, he's
Speaker 1: doing taxpayer money to what go viral because it's what
Speaker 1: he what he what he wants to do, right, And
Speaker 1: that's what gets to me. If you told the Sanctors
Speaker 1: to spend the same amount of money helping these asylum seekers,
Speaker 1: he'd be like, oh, we don't have the funding for that.
Speaker 1: But to troll the Democrats suddenly he's like, put it
Speaker 1: on my card. Yeah. And by the way, America actually
Speaker 1: has a history of doing this. In the nineteen sixties,
Speaker 1: racist organizations in the South shipped black people up to
Speaker 1: northern states to make liberals uncomfortable but wrong. The Sanctus
Speaker 1: obviously doesn't know about that because the pages in his
Speaker 1: history books were torn out any states, So I get it. Now,
Speaker 1: if we had more time, we could delve into a
Speaker 1: long history of how American lawmakers are all too happy
Speaker 1: to put tons of resources into destabilizing Central and South
Speaker 1: American countries, but when the effects of that destabilizational felt
Speaker 1: in America, suddenly they don't have the money to pay
Speaker 1: for the consequences of their actions. But we don't have
Speaker 1: the time to get into that, because while American lawmakers
Speaker 1: arguing about what's happening at land borders, Americans on the
Speaker 1: internet are at woolf about what's happening under the sea.
Speaker 1: The new trailer for the live action remake of The
Speaker 1: Little Mermaid already has more than a hundred million views.
Speaker 1: While it's got a lot of fans, it is also
Speaker 1: being attacked by some internet rolls. The actress Hallie Bailey
Speaker 1: stars as Ariel in Disney's new live action film, and
Speaker 1: she looks at nothing like the animated Little Mermaid with
Speaker 1: red hair from the original nine classic. The trailer has
Speaker 1: received more than one point five million dislikes on YouTube.
Speaker 1: Then there are the ugly racist tweets the Little Mermaid
Speaker 1: is white not black rally, people were doing this again, Huh,
Speaker 1: she looks nothing like They're nothing like. They both have
Speaker 1: the tail, they both have the red. She looks nothing
Speaker 1: like her. How do I even know that she's not Mermaid?
Speaker 1: Once again, a bunch of Internet racists so upset that
Speaker 1: a fictional character is being played by a black person.
Speaker 1: And honestly, I don't know what the big deal is.
Speaker 1: You guys realized that Nemo was black too, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that whole movie was about a fish who can't find
Speaker 1: his dad. Yeah, calm down, calm down. I can say
Speaker 1: that because my dad left and he's white. So who's
Speaker 1: racist now? He was so ridiculous. First of all, of course,
Speaker 1: the Little Mermaid is black, alright. Everyone whose name starts
Speaker 1: with little is black. Little Wayne, little Nazacs, little Kim. Honestly,
Speaker 1: if you heard that there was a woman named Little Mermaid,
Speaker 1: you just assume that she's on the track with Cardi b.
Speaker 1: You know, with not wet ass flippers. So look, so look,
Speaker 1: stop being ridiculous. It's imaginary, you know. I hope the
Speaker 1: scandal doesn't overshadow the rest of the movie. The Little
Speaker 1: Mermaid is a beautiful story about a young woman changing
Speaker 1: her core identity to please a man. Let's not forget
Speaker 1: about that. People I'm looking. If we had more time,
Speaker 1: we could talk about how Disney already created a black
Speaker 1: Mermaid thirty years ago and nobody can, or how there's
Speaker 1: still plenty of white princesses for little girls whose dream
Speaker 1: it is to be in a monarchy. And let's not
Speaker 1: forget you can still watch the original Little Mermaid. It's
Speaker 1: not like if you tried to turn it aroun, Mickey's
Speaker 1: gonna jump out of the screen and be like, but
Speaker 1: we don't have time for that. Because racism isn't just
Speaker 1: on Twitter. It turns out it's also ruining the NBA,
Speaker 1: deceiving the major headline out of the NBA. They have
Speaker 1: now suspended Phoenix Suns and Phoenix Mercury owner Robert Sarver
Speaker 1: for a year. They find him ten million dollars after
Speaker 1: a nearly year long investigation that detailed in appropriate behavior
Speaker 1: during his eighteen years with the team. The league says Sarver,
Speaker 1: whose teams are mostly black, repeated the N word five times,
Speaker 1: bullied employees, and sent pornographic material, including a video, to staffers.
Speaker 1: Server also allegedly made jokes frequently to employees in large
Speaker 1: and small settings about sex and sex related anatomy. Who
Speaker 1: they say, this guy was using the N word, he
Speaker 1: was bullying people, and there was sexual harassment. That's a
Speaker 1: triple double and HR violations. I mean, how do you
Speaker 1: justify sending pawn to yours? What are you doing? What's
Speaker 1: what's the rationale? Has been? Like, you see that gang
Speaker 1: bang video that I emailed you, Well, that's the kind
Speaker 1: of teamwork I want to see on the court tonight. People,
Speaker 1: come on, get out there now. To be fair, To
Speaker 1: be fair, Sava wasn't calling black people the N word,
Speaker 1: all right. He was just allegedly repeating black people's use
Speaker 1: of the N word and then complaining about why he
Speaker 1: couldn't say it but they could, but he was saying it.
Speaker 1: So he isn't necessarily racist. But he's definitely a moron.
Speaker 1: And here's what I don't get. Here's what I don't get.
Speaker 1: If you're someone who wants to walk around saying the
Speaker 1: N word, then pretty much the worst place in the
Speaker 1: world for you is the NBA. He's like, I love
Speaker 1: saying d N word and I hate the sound of
Speaker 1: squeaky shoes. Well, my man, you shows the wrong field. Now,
Speaker 1: if we had more time, we could talk about whether
Speaker 1: or not a one year suspension is enough of a
Speaker 1: punishment for what this owner has done, because if you
Speaker 1: can't learn in five minutes that you shouldn't be saying
Speaker 1: the N word, and I'm not sure that the year
Speaker 1: is gonna help. But we don't have the time for that,
Speaker 1: because while the NBA is dealing with one bad owner,
Speaker 1: there's a scandal in the chess world right now that
Speaker 1: is shaking the entire sport. A cheating scandal is rocking
Speaker 1: the world of chess like never before. After World chess
Speaker 1: champion Magnus Carlson recently lost a match to young up
Speaker 1: and comer Hans Nieman, Carlson abruptly quit the tournament and
Speaker 1: then posted a cryptic tweet that many interpreted as an
Speaker 1: accusation that Nieman had cheated. Since then, speculation has run
Speaker 1: wild about how Niemen could have cheated, with some people
Speaker 1: suggesting that some kind of wearable vibrating device could have
Speaker 1: been feeding him moves. A world champion has never withdrawn
Speaker 1: from a chess tournament before this in the history of
Speaker 1: the game of chess, so it's really unprecedented. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: damn right, this is unprecedented. A chess grand master might
Speaker 1: have been cheating that is disgusting. The game of chess
Speaker 1: is sacred. It's an ancient game of skill and strategy
Speaker 1: with the little horses that you plew with. Now, even
Speaker 1: though lots of people are accusing Niemen of cheating, nobody
Speaker 1: can say exactly how he did it, although you may
Speaker 1: have heard them say vibrating yeah. The one theory which
Speaker 1: the Internet is running wild with is that he used
Speaker 1: vibrating anal beads to tell him what moves to make,
Speaker 1: which I know sounds nuts, but I get why someone
Speaker 1: would use vibrating anal beads to cheats, you know, because
Speaker 1: even if you lose, you still kind of win, you know.
Speaker 1: And let's be clear. Let us be clear, there is
Speaker 1: absolutely no place for sex toys in the game of chess,
Speaker 1: except for the pawns and the bishop. If you nasty
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