Speaker 1: Hey, it's a broken Jeffrey podcast. And did you guys
Speaker 1: know we have listeners in Japan, Germany, k Netherlands, Italy. Wait,
Speaker 1: those actually all have super hot men, don't they actually?
Speaker 1: If you're listening in from their DM me after this,
Speaker 1: k okay, after you hear the full shower. I'm just
Speaker 1: starting right now. A food movement is happening on TikTok
Speaker 1: right now. Well, I don't love movement, but I love
Speaker 1: food sure, and I have a feeling Brook's going to
Speaker 1: be here for it. Okay what we got, she might
Speaker 1: already be there, and we just haven't talked about this yet.
Speaker 1: Because for a long time, if your hosting could get together,
Speaker 1: the top way to make it seem kind of classy
Speaker 1: is to put out a charcouterie board or a cheese
Speaker 1: plate and for people to snack on, and then you
Speaker 1: eat it and say fancy things like hmm, exquisite capasturalization
Speaker 1: on this breed to maw, he's simply transcendence. Yes, but
Speaker 1: you know what, that's old news good because those takes
Speaker 1: so much work and money. They're hard, like how many
Speaker 1: ingredients do you need? That's why? Yeah, that's how the
Speaker 1: dinosaurs did it back in twenty twenty. Now we're in
Speaker 1: the future, and what's sliding in to take its place
Speaker 1: butter boards. Yes I am, They're all over TikTok right now.
Speaker 1: It's like a charcouterie plate, except instead of fine cheeses
Speaker 1: and meats, it's a tray covered in butter, multiple butters,
Speaker 1: and you just dip your bread or your fingers right
Speaker 1: into it and you get squishes. There's bread. When I
Speaker 1: was little, I used loved sneaking bites of butter. Did
Speaker 1: you do that a little? And now it's finally classy.
Speaker 1: It's like a herb butter, spicy butter, you know. And
Speaker 1: lately butters become in big business, similar to wine where
Speaker 1: they have somaliaise. Butter has buttmliaise. Like you can imagine
Speaker 1: being at a fine restaurant and the button Moliais comes
Speaker 1: and leans over and he's like, may I suggest pairing
Speaker 1: that dinner roll with a twenty sixteen Lando Lake or
Speaker 1: perhaps this divine twenty eleven tub of I can't believe
Speaker 1: it's not butter. This is from the land of I mean,
Speaker 1: it's gonna happen because people on TikTok are loving this.
Speaker 1: One person said quote, butterboards are the greatest culinary inventions
Speaker 1: since reindeer meeting a can. Oh my god, that's the thing.
Speaker 1: So class up and get your butterboards ready. We're also
Speaker 1: gonna class up and get into the shot collar question
Speaker 1: of the day, and we're gonna send it right on
Speaker 1: over to the classiest member of the morning show, Digital Jake.
Speaker 1: What are we doing well? Over the last few days,
Speaker 1: we've been doing character impressions as the losing punishment for
Speaker 1: the shot caller. Yes, and real quick, we need to
Speaker 1: check in with the listeners. Update on the ball. Apparently
Speaker 1: they hate them today even more than they did yesterday.
Speaker 1: I like them and keep going with it. Is that
Speaker 1: what you're saying, because if you missed it, Alexis did
Speaker 1: her version of a supersonic glue huffing Elmo that eld
Speaker 1: and before that, Brooke delivered her insecure Yoda in the
Speaker 1: middle of going through a mental breakdown impression. Yoda has
Speaker 1: feelings to take and the listeners were not impressed. Both
Speaker 1: of those are not allowed to be picked. The options
Speaker 1: left are Kermit Shaggy from Scooby Doo, Donald Duck, and
Speaker 1: Captain Jack Sparrow. Okay, We'll go around the room and
Speaker 1: each of you will get around of trivia and the
Speaker 1: person with the most correct answers at the end, we'll
Speaker 1: get to pick which host will be zapped by an
Speaker 1: electric dog caller while doing a ten second impression. And
Speaker 1: that's why they call it click a shot off. We'll
Speaker 1: start with the person who still does one plus one
Speaker 1: by counting on her fingers, just to make sure smart move.
Speaker 1: That's alexis alright? Alexis, You're ready on a farm? What
Speaker 1: animal is a kid? A chicken? That's a goat? Which
Speaker 1: planet is known for having a ring a Jupiter sat
Speaker 1: What vegetable is sour kraut made from onions? What is
Speaker 1: the name of Harry Potter's owl? You got one. You're
Speaker 1: control of the shot collar for another twenty seconds or so. Jose,
Speaker 1: You're gonna be up next, Okay, Jose, I want you
Speaker 1: to know when I beat you, I'm gonna have you
Speaker 1: do the Kermit impression with an English accent. Oh, Jose
Speaker 1: is gonna pull it off? That's creative? I'll try, all right, Jose?
Speaker 1: You ready? Yes? What color is the one ball in pool? Yellow?
Speaker 1: After boardwalk? What's the next most expensive property? And Monopoly
Speaker 1: nice at seven years old. Drew Barrymore is the youngest
Speaker 1: guest host of What Show Pass Saturday Night Live. What's
Speaker 1: your halls? Your big toe or your pinky toe? Yeah, Jose,
Speaker 1: you got three? Correct? Yes, those were not easy, Brook.
Speaker 1: You need four to beat Jose and take control of
Speaker 1: the clock. But when that doesn't happen and you take
Speaker 1: the l to me, Brook, I'm gonna have you talk
Speaker 1: like Shaggy trying to pick up a hottie at the bar.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's allowed in Jake's rules, but
Speaker 1: that's when I'm gonna be the singer, but the cartoon character. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, Brooke, are you ready? Yeah? Utah, Colorado, New Mexico,
Speaker 1: and Arizona meet at what US Landmark Corners? What restaurant
Speaker 1: serves the club? Lulu? Oh my god, I know it? Uh, Denny's,
Speaker 1: Jimmy Jones. Would you find penguins in the North or South? South?
Speaker 1: What's the best selling chocolate bar in the worlds only two?
Speaker 1: Jose remains in the league. I think if Snickers as
Speaker 1: a chocolate bar. Because there's so much other things happening,
Speaker 1: We're gonna do this again. A candy bar there's caramels, choate,
Speaker 1: there's people that lose gracefully, and then there's bar All right, Jeffrey,
Speaker 1: you need four to get control of the cocker chakra
Speaker 1: to beat Jose and get that English Kermit impression out
Speaker 1: of it. All right, all right, Jeffrey. Which continent has
Speaker 1: hosted the Olympics the most times? North America? Europe? Red? Black?
Speaker 1: And what other color would you find on an official
Speaker 1: Roulette wheel? Green? How many saw films have there been? Five?
Speaker 1: Nine Cannes Film Festival takes place in what country? France?
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to the first time you're ever going to
Speaker 1: choose yourself just because bad Am I allowed to. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna shock myself too. Good day, this is the first.
Speaker 1: Just trying to British Kermit. Okay, Okay, we're gonna try
Speaker 1: to British Kermit. Okay, So Kermit the frog here, Okay,
Speaker 1: but I mean England or you like some tea and Crumper,
Speaker 1: You're on the Queen. That's for you. Que two, that's
Speaker 1: your shot. Color question of the day Broke and Jeffrey
Speaker 1: in the morning. I feel like it's super common for
Speaker 1: people to want to get revenge on somebody from their
Speaker 1: high school. Yeah, that's hear it a lot on our show.
Speaker 1: Especially normally it's buddy who used to bully them, or
Speaker 1: some old crush that did them dirty, or that one
Speaker 1: janitor who snitched on you for hooking up in the
Speaker 1: photography class dark room, like seriously, the one place in
Speaker 1: the entire school with flattering lighting. He but today is
Speaker 1: actually a first because one of our listeners was determined
Speaker 1: to get even with her old high school vice principal whoa,
Speaker 1: and it took her fifteen years till she finally had
Speaker 1: the opportunity. She was even willing to risk her job
Speaker 1: to make this happen, and says his reaction was totally
Speaker 1: worth it. You're gonna hear the hilarious way she got
Speaker 1: revenge on her high school principle. In a brand new
Speaker 1: mass speaker coming up confession I can't take back Girl
Speaker 1: speaker text the seven eighty five nine two says, when
Speaker 1: I was in dgarden, I asked my teacher if I
Speaker 1: could go to the bathroom and she said no, So
Speaker 1: I got really angry and peed myself on purpose so
Speaker 1: I could watch her clean it up For the rest
Speaker 1: of the year. I could go to the bathroom whenever
Speaker 1: I want. Well, I peed myself in kindergarten and was
Speaker 1: humiliated by it. I wish I had that attitude, and
Speaker 1: we're trying to be ourselves here. Would just start filming us? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you go viral for that. I mean, ninety eight percent
Speaker 1: of the time of our days are spent in the
Speaker 1: bathroom here. The other two percent we hold it while
Speaker 1: listening to people's confessions right here on the mass speaker.
Speaker 1: And one of our listeners as ready with a bladder
Speaker 1: full of secrets to spill all over our show. Why
Speaker 1: does that sound dirty? She's chosen the fake name Brianna.
Speaker 1: Brianna welcome, Hey, so you gotta go. I actually a
Speaker 1: story from back in high school. Okay, okay, Well, the
Speaker 1: voice changer is on. You are the mass speaker, Brianna.
Speaker 1: Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confessions. Sure. So, I
Speaker 1: actually got suspended for something that I didn't do. You
Speaker 1: got suspended in high school? I did? I did. Apparently
Speaker 1: you're stealing a teacher's phone. Stealing a teacher's phone, that's
Speaker 1: a big offense. Didn't It was a pretty wild thing,
Speaker 1: and four people wound up at the vice Principal's office,
Speaker 1: and the other girls were mean girls, and they pended
Speaker 1: on me. Yeah were they previously your friends? I thought
Speaker 1: that they were. Oh man high school girls are meme.
Speaker 1: So yeah, the vice principal believe them, barely even heard
Speaker 1: me out. Yeah I believe them too. You sound like
Speaker 1: the fact that would steal a phone. In fact, is
Speaker 1: this even your phone that you're calling from right now?
Speaker 1: Still using the teacher? But why would you Why are
Speaker 1: you like hiding your voice? You know what I mean? Like?
Speaker 1: Why is this a confession if you didn't do it? Oh?
Speaker 1: You know, you think about all the things that you
Speaker 1: wish she said this, You wish you did this, and
Speaker 1: you know, if you ever had a chance, how would
Speaker 1: you make up for it? So yeah, I I never
Speaker 1: forgave him for that fast forward. I got a chance
Speaker 1: to feel better about the whole situation. You got a
Speaker 1: chance to get revenge on the vice principle. I'm good.
Speaker 1: Oh what happened? So I work at a diner and
Speaker 1: guess who came in to eat the other day? No, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was vice principle. So all of those feelings and
Speaker 1: frustration came back to me because I went to one
Speaker 1: to wait on his table. Oh no, going through my head.
Speaker 1: I mean you you could steal his phone for real? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Would you do? So he didn't remember me. I guess
Speaker 1: I can't fall him for that. It was like fifteen
Speaker 1: years ago, right, and you were there for a little
Speaker 1: while too. Yeah, I was gone, you know, I'm sure
Speaker 1: he noticed. Um no, But so it's it's a dinner job.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm in between work, so I don't, you know,
Speaker 1: hold it as the most important thing to me. If
Speaker 1: I'm going to do something and get fired, it's worth
Speaker 1: the risk. So UH came and for the plan, went
Speaker 1: over to his table, and as I'm refilling his coffee,
Speaker 1: I super accidentally missed the mug a little bit. How
Speaker 1: much did you miss? A pretty good note and stilled
Speaker 1: all over the table, And that created a missing, a
Speaker 1: disjection for me to take his turkeys, which he left
Speaker 1: out there like an idiot. Keys. This is I swear.
Speaker 1: I don't think at this point, well you know what,
Speaker 1: I didn't feel. I just he made me feel taking me.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna make Kim seel the same way. Um upright,
Speaker 1: cleaned up in us. I ran out the back, I
Speaker 1: hit the buttons on the keys, to see his which
Speaker 1: car was his? That in his car? I drove it
Speaker 1: two blocks away, washed in detail. Thank you. I parked
Speaker 1: his car, came back in and he paid the bills.
Speaker 1: He leaves and oh no he can't find his car.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. So he thinks it's stolen, but it's
Speaker 1: really two blocks away. He would end up calling the
Speaker 1: cops still, right, Yes, so he did. He called it
Speaker 1: to me. Yes, they asked to see the security footage,
Speaker 1: but like, oh, I didn't even think about that, you
Speaker 1: know what I did though, And it just so happens
Speaker 1: that it wasn't working right. So camera's always out and
Speaker 1: it's like it's a diner. So I don't expect you
Speaker 1: to have like top notch security footage at all times.
Speaker 1: It's not like it's a bank. Yeah, someone like turned
Speaker 1: off the recording device. It's so weird. I wanted to
Speaker 1: do it still, so your sinister, thank you, thank you. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I lost his keys in his car and they found
Speaker 1: it like an hour later. So that hopefully teaches him
Speaker 1: to not ten change some people that didn't anything. I
Speaker 1: don't know that he's going to get that message. I
Speaker 1: don't think that. Yeah, it just isn't really clear message.
Speaker 1: Probably not, But at the end of it, he probably
Speaker 1: feels a little crazy, just like I felt when he
Speaker 1: accused me of doing something that I didn't actually do.
Speaker 1: He probably probably just made it all cibers test with
Speaker 1: remember or text into seven eighty five and nine two.
Speaker 1: If you have a confession you've been holding onto, we'll
Speaker 1: hide your identity, mask your voice, and make you the
Speaker 1: next mass speaker. Phone taps coming up. Time for your
Speaker 1: phone tap and today we call a guy who's taken
Speaker 1: his girlfriend on their first big couples vacation to beautiful Acapulco.
Speaker 1: He doesn't know is that he's about to get upgraded
Speaker 1: from the regular suite that he booked to an exclusive
Speaker 1: deluxe experience that we call the Nature Suite. It does
Speaker 1: sound fancy, but it's pretty much a small patch of
Speaker 1: grass and you're one of the hotel parking. Hopefully we
Speaker 1: can sell him on it without giving away exactly what
Speaker 1: it is. That's gonna be Jose's job. We'll see how
Speaker 1: he does in your phone tap right now. The twenties. Hello,
Speaker 1: Holy penia coladas and spicy enchiladas. This Garrett, it is yeah,
Speaker 1: ITHO is this all? Uh? This is Raymond from the
Speaker 1: hotel and Spa in sunny Acapulco. How are you today,
Speaker 1: I'm doing Okay, what's uh? What's up? I see that
Speaker 1: you have a reservation to stay with us next weekend,
Speaker 1: and we are so excited to have you at the resort.
Speaker 1: But there's a little bit of an issue, a poquito problem.
Speaker 1: That's that's Spanish if you didn't know, Yeah, I know
Speaker 1: what's the issue. Well, your suite was double booked by
Speaker 1: our front desk man, Gilberto, that guy. I mean, okay,
Speaker 1: it's hard to get good workers these days. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. What does this have to do with me? Well,
Speaker 1: I'm calling because I actually have good news. I have
Speaker 1: been fully authorized to upgrade your room free of charge.
Speaker 1: Oh really, Yes, you're upgradating us from a suite to
Speaker 1: something better than a sweet. We are moving you to
Speaker 1: our deluxe nature sweet. Oh right, okay, can you can
Speaker 1: you tell me about it? Pete Davidson stayed there twice
Speaker 1: after he was broken up with very twice, both pretty recently. Okay,
Speaker 1: but what about the room? I don't I don't care
Speaker 1: if we stayed there. Hold on there, amigo, Okay, I
Speaker 1: don't want to. I don't want to give away all
Speaker 1: the surprises, right, Okay, but can you tell me does
Speaker 1: it have a view of the ocean, because that's what
Speaker 1: I requested. What I can say is water will be everywhere,
Speaker 1: especially at night when the sprinklers come on. It's just
Speaker 1: that's the sound of nature at its finest. Wait, sprinklers
Speaker 1: aren't sprinklers aren't nature? What do you mean sprinklers? Is
Speaker 1: this on the ground floor? I wouldn't say ground floor,
Speaker 1: I would say more green floor? What is that? What
Speaker 1: is green floor? What does that mean? Oh? Green? Because
Speaker 1: the flooring, it's it's a very natural aesthetic. Okay, I
Speaker 1: could say the way you're describing this makes it sound
Speaker 1: like the worst. Hey, do you know the rapper four chains? Yeah?
Speaker 1: No way, I know two chains. I don't know. Well,
Speaker 1: then you know four chains because that's his cousin. What
Speaker 1: about him? Well, he has double the chains. Oh and
Speaker 1: he also he rents the nature Sweet by the hour
Speaker 1: when he's here and he brings yeah, like a motel room.
Speaker 1: It's mainly when he brings back very classy women from
Speaker 1: our local discotheca. So you're a very exclusive company, you
Speaker 1: know what. I'm having a really hard time picturing this.
Speaker 1: Imagine sleeping beneath the stars on a private grass patch
Speaker 1: right next to parking lot four f Wow, what it's
Speaker 1: our nicest parking lot. Sir? Are you telling me that
Speaker 1: I'm sleeping outside? I'm not even in the hotel. We'll
Speaker 1: even provide you with mosquito repellent, a complimentary by the way,
Speaker 1: I'm not doing I'm not sleeping outside. You don't have
Speaker 1: to give me mosquito repellents. We're sleeping in. Did I
Speaker 1: mention Pete Davidson has stayed there two times. I don't
Speaker 1: want to sleep on an air mattress that Pete Davidson
Speaker 1: slept on. Well, he wasn't sleeping if you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, stop about Pete Davidson. I don't care about him.
Speaker 1: He's a store of pot. All right, give me the manager.
Speaker 1: My manager is just going to tell you that this
Speaker 1: is a prank phone call. So if you would like,
Speaker 1: I can say that now, or I can get them
Speaker 1: on the line. Yeah, prank phone call from Munca Poco. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm actually not Nuca Poco. I'm at a radio station.
Speaker 1: Because this is Jasa from Brook and Jeffrey in the
Speaker 1: morning we're doing a phone tap on you, buddy. I
Speaker 1: thought I was sleeping outside you had I was so angry. No,
Speaker 1: your reservation's fine. Your sister Caitlin set you up. She
Speaker 1: said you're taking your girlfriend on an exotic vacation and
Speaker 1: she wanted us to mess with you. He's a real person. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I bet he's actually currently in the nature suite for
Speaker 1: the next ten minutes until he's done with his you know,
Speaker 1: classy discotheque ladies minutes. That's pretty good. Hey, that's my
Speaker 1: record the week up every morning with phone tabs weekday
Speaker 1: mornings on the twenties Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 1: We all keep certain information hidden from our immediate families,
Speaker 1: right yeah, yeah, some stuff that they don't need to know. Yeh.
Speaker 1: Like for me, it's my home address and current phone
Speaker 1: that stuff. I'm gonna get all the information the way
Speaker 1: that I want to give it. It doesn't matter. One
Speaker 1: of our listeners has a family secret that's a little
Speaker 1: bit bigger than that, and his aunt is on the
Speaker 1: verge of discovering the truth. So now he's asking for
Speaker 1: our help to come up with the perfect response to
Speaker 1: keep his secret under wraps. Or he's going to be
Speaker 1: humiliated in front of his entire family. So we're going
Speaker 1: to do our best to help. Okay, you promised, Brook, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do. I'm gonna try real hard. I am.
Speaker 1: I want to help him. We'll see it's coming up
Speaker 1: in your brand new awkward Tuesday phone call. Next, it's awkward.
Speaker 1: It's Tuesday. It's awkward Tuesday phone call. Whenever listeners email
Speaker 1: us asking for family help, that's always kind of dicey
Speaker 1: for me. You have a hard time communicating with your
Speaker 1: own family? Is that why my family situation is already
Speaker 1: always dicey? And you want us to dice it up
Speaker 1: even more. Somebody's going to get their finger cut off.
Speaker 1: That's what it sounds like. Just turn into a big
Speaker 1: like family mashed potato. But I don't know what I'm
Speaker 1: talking about. I don't know. It sounds delicious. All of
Speaker 1: us do deal with family drama and our personal lives
Speaker 1: with our parents, significant others and whatnot. So who knows,
Speaker 1: maybe we might actually be good at this. Okay, what
Speaker 1: do you I can't believe I'm saying. Next, we might
Speaker 1: be qualified for something here. Let's talk to Curtis, who
Speaker 1: email us for help. Curtis, what's up man? Thanks for
Speaker 1: taking my call. Guys, So, I am in a bit
Speaker 1: of a pickle here, potatoes, Curtis, we're gonna dice those
Speaker 1: pickles up? Or what are we going to do with
Speaker 1: the pickles? Oh? Sorry, we're just hungry today. Tell us
Speaker 1: what's going on with you and your family? Um? So,
Speaker 1: my aunt Sophia is this huge Usher fan and she's
Speaker 1: coming into the sound Usher fan. I haven't heard of
Speaker 1: one of those in a minute. Yeah, she's like fifty
Speaker 1: six years old and she's going to two shows. Oh
Speaker 1: oh wow, way to go, Usher, still pulling in the
Speaker 1: ladies over crowd. So let me guess you want our
Speaker 1: help hooking up your aunt with Usher too. I thought
Speaker 1: you wanted backstage passes. I was thinking even more than backstage,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking up into Usher's penthouse. Sweet after the show.
Speaker 1: We work at a radio station that might be just
Speaker 1: above our pay grade. I do not need your help
Speaker 1: hooking up my my aunt with us here. Okay, that
Speaker 1: would be hot, though, what do you need help with then? Well,
Speaker 1: that would actually be the answer to my problem. The
Speaker 1: problem is is that she wants to come stay with me,
Speaker 1: and I just lost my job. And had to move out.
Speaker 1: So I've been CouchSurfing and I can't have my parents
Speaker 1: or even her really find out about this. Oh, you're
Speaker 1: in a hard spot right now. Oh, we really do
Speaker 1: need to get hers penthouse so she has a place.
Speaker 1: Why don't you want to tell your parents? My parents
Speaker 1: will freak out naturally, Yeah, dude, I host a nationally
Speaker 1: syndicated radio show, and my parents are still like, when
Speaker 1: are you going to get a real job. I am,
Speaker 1: and I'm not just saying this. I do have a
Speaker 1: couple of promising things happening. I just don't know when
Speaker 1: they'll happen. And I've got good friends, but I don't
Speaker 1: have a place, and then if it gets out in
Speaker 1: my family, everyone's gonna lose her freaking mind. So wait,
Speaker 1: where where are you staying? Then? I'm a carroage, Okay,
Speaker 1: So why can't your aunt stay over at your How
Speaker 1: big is just move over on that couch? Yeah, there's
Speaker 1: already like a girlfriend there and that I'm not I
Speaker 1: can't bring that. I don't know him well enough. I
Speaker 1: feel like a lot of people can relate to not
Speaker 1: wanting to tell your parents until you get the next job. Right,
Speaker 1: have a place I don't really like my parents staying. So,
Speaker 1: I mean, you've talked to your aunt, Like, did you
Speaker 1: already tell her that she could stay with you? Or
Speaker 1: have you not answered her at all? She text me
Speaker 1: and she's like, I'm gonna go pick up some stuff
Speaker 1: to cook and do all this, and so I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm real busy. I was just like, I didn't. I
Speaker 1: have no idea what. So she's under the impression that
Speaker 1: she's definitely going to be staying over at your place. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: when is when is this happening? It's next weekend. Okay,
Speaker 1: you can't just tell her, hey, go get a job
Speaker 1: and get your own hotel. Probably can't do that. But well, like,
Speaker 1: what are you hoping for here? Do you want us
Speaker 1: to help you break the news about your living situation
Speaker 1: to your aunt or what? I just I need to
Speaker 1: come up with a good excuse to kind of get
Speaker 1: her off my back. She's very assistant. I really love
Speaker 1: my aunt, but she thinks it's going to be a
Speaker 1: bonding time and then the exact opposite is in store.
Speaker 1: So wow, that's tough, man, This is a tough scenario. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The main thing is I just don't want to hurt
Speaker 1: her feelings. She's my aunt and she's a really sweet person.
Speaker 1: I love her and I'm calling her down. Probably not
Speaker 1: your favorite aunt. No, she's my favorite aunt. Oh wow, well, kiss,
Speaker 1: we better do something. You've called the right people, because
Speaker 1: Jeffrey comes up with every excuse to avoid his family. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll just dig into my text message history. You see
Speaker 1: one of the millions of excuses I've sent before. A
Speaker 1: major flood took out the whole city third time this year. Gosh,
Speaker 1: the worst luck. But we'll come up with something for you.
Speaker 1: We'll play a song come back, give you a little advice,
Speaker 1: and let you make your awkward Tuesday phone call to
Speaker 1: your aunt to say sorry, you can't stay here while
Speaker 1: you go to two Usher concerts. Impression and just tell
Speaker 1: her myself sorry, it's cancer. Yeah I can. We'll come
Speaker 1: up with something better for your awkward Tuesday. Next, it's awkward.
Speaker 1: It's Tuesday. It's awkward Tuesday phone call, Alexis. You may
Speaker 1: not know this, but over twenty years ago, a guy
Speaker 1: named Usher was the biggest celebrity on the planet. And
Speaker 1: this is his song. It's called yeah, oh Yeah, I
Speaker 1: hear the old people weddings lyrical jus in this song,
Speaker 1: and now Usher's just a footnote in our awkward Tuesday
Speaker 1: phone call. And we got a guy named Curtis on
Speaker 1: the phone right now whose aunt is coming to his
Speaker 1: city just to see Usher play two shows. She's going
Speaker 1: to both of them, and while she's there, she wanted
Speaker 1: to stay with Curtis at his place, And Curtis would
Speaker 1: totally be up for that, except he lost his job
Speaker 1: and had to move out, and he doesn't want to
Speaker 1: tell his family. He doesn't want to let them know
Speaker 1: that he's just been CouchSurfing for the last few months.
Speaker 1: He is getting close to a new job to get
Speaker 1: a new spot, but until then cannot have his aunt
Speaker 1: stay with him for obvious reasons. So what he needs
Speaker 1: from us right now is a good excuse. Brooke, Okay,
Speaker 1: what excuse do you think he should use. You're in
Speaker 1: a medical study. Okay, following me here, Curtis, you're very,
Speaker 1: very sick, right, Yeah, you're not sick. You volunteered for
Speaker 1: the medical studies about allergies and you can't be exposed
Speaker 1: to any outside perfume. I mean it smart, it's not
Speaker 1: even her smel. She's going to two Usher shows. Do
Speaker 1: you know how much cologne is going to be in
Speaker 1: that stadium? You can't be exposed and you're really you're
Speaker 1: really sorry, Curtis, What do you think of that? It's
Speaker 1: not bad. I feel like knowing my aunt, she's gonna
Speaker 1: be like, oh no, I've had everything. I'm immune a
Speaker 1: perfume thing if you can't have it. Yeah, I mean, jose,
Speaker 1: what are you thinking? You should just do what every
Speaker 1: nephew does to their aunts and ask to borrow some money. Okay,
Speaker 1: eat it too. That way you're gonna make it uncomfortable
Speaker 1: for her, and then she probably won't want to stay
Speaker 1: anymore because you're not gonna want to lend you a
Speaker 1: bunch of I ask for a lot of money, you
Speaker 1: can't ask. I would give my nieces any sort of
Speaker 1: money I needed. I could clean out her bank account
Speaker 1: in a second. She wouldn't even her I'm not gonna obviously,
Speaker 1: So all right, Well, we have some ideas. Do whatever
Speaker 1: you want with them. Are like you a medical study
Speaker 1: or rob your aunt. That's what you get with Brooklyn
Speaker 1: Jeffrey in the morning. It is a free service, Sir Curtis.
Speaker 1: We're gonna dial your aunt's number right now. Let you
Speaker 1: make your awkward Tuesday phone call. We'll jump in when
Speaker 1: we feel like you need a little help. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: no matter what. Remember for now. Hello, Hello, Aunt Sophia,
Speaker 1: It's Curtis. How are you, Curtis going? How are you?
Speaker 1: I can't wait to see you next week? And it
Speaker 1: feels like it's forever. I know. I was thinking, you know,
Speaker 1: I want to hang out and stuff. But that's great deal.
Speaker 1: I know how much you loved my chicken Frica. See,
Speaker 1: I have a whole new recipe that's even better than
Speaker 1: that one. You're gonna die when you have it, and
Speaker 1: then you're gonna make it for all your friends. It's no,
Speaker 1: it's just I was so A lot has come up.
Speaker 1: It wouldn't work lately, and I would hate just for
Speaker 1: you to be hanging at the house. And oh, that's
Speaker 1: not a problem. You know I can take care of that.
Speaker 1: I know how you handle hich this young man. I
Speaker 1: would be happy to make sure it's all better. By
Speaker 1: the time I leave, they'll be undery, dumb, There'll be
Speaker 1: food in the fridge, the place will be clean. I
Speaker 1: would love to do that for you. Look, I know
Speaker 1: that you're going to us she's going to both shows actually,
Speaker 1: and you're going to be busy. Oh. I just had
Speaker 1: the best idea. Why don't you come to the shows
Speaker 1: with me? You would love them. It's such a fun concert.
Speaker 1: Yeah song, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know that one. You know,
Speaker 1: I can't sing it, but you know that one. That's
Speaker 1: a good one. I know. But I just just another
Speaker 1: one that's so wonderful. I know because we used to
Speaker 1: sing it in the car when you came home and
Speaker 1: you drove me around. Coodn't say we know it. You
Speaker 1: can going through the hit. You're gonna have a good
Speaker 1: time this weekend. I just it's just with this work stuff.
Speaker 1: I just don't so awful. What's going on with you.
Speaker 1: This isn't like you. You usually are so excited to
Speaker 1: have me come visit. I'm just kind of dealing with
Speaker 1: the situation right now that I don't really Oh oh
Speaker 1: my god, you were right. You're waiting your bed again.
Speaker 1: You know there are things that they can do that
Speaker 1: was I was a child during that period, by the way,
Speaker 1: so no, that's long gone. It's just I'm kind of
Speaker 1: living with someone, which makes the whole weekend sort of
Speaker 1: difficult for you to be why not? What that would
Speaker 1: be fun? You know, I'd be happy to cook for
Speaker 1: them and all that. They'd love me. No, that's all.
Speaker 1: Your friends have always loved me, and I take care
Speaker 1: of them as able they do. They really do accept
Speaker 1: this situation's um kind of you and I can't really
Speaker 1: have family. No one right now? They will? Are you?
Speaker 1: Are you talking about that cousin? Your cousin when you
Speaker 1: kissed at the family reunion. Everybody already knows, so you
Speaker 1: know the people there with you? What is this? Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a there's a whole radio station of people here
Speaker 1: with Curtis and Sophia. No, no, hey, I gotta I
Speaker 1: just want to clear it up. I just I want
Speaker 1: everybody to know that was a long time ago. It
Speaker 1: wasn't like blood related or anything like that. All right, Well,
Speaker 1: you just hold off on the cousin kissing talk because
Speaker 1: I should probably explain to Sophia what's going on. Sophia.
Speaker 1: You're are you? You have a wonderful voice. Oh nice voice.
Speaker 1: That's why I go to the uper concert. I come
Speaker 1: stay over at my place for a while. You're welcomed.
Speaker 1: That's a solution. Would you have to introduce yourself and
Speaker 1: be a gentleman. Okay, well my name is Jeffrey. Jeffrey,
Speaker 1: isn't that charming right now? Aunt Sophia? And who are
Speaker 1: the other lovelies that you have there with you? We're
Speaker 1: all here, but we're doing some of them called an
Speaker 1: awkward Tuesday phone call. That's the important part, Oh, dear,
Speaker 1: your nephew Curtis wanted our help trying to tell you
Speaker 1: that he can't have you stay at his place when
Speaker 1: you go to see Yusher. Well, how do you know
Speaker 1: what's wrong with him? And I go, well, wrong. I
Speaker 1: think he was trying to tell you, but he's just
Speaker 1: a little embarrassed. Curtis. I was a little embarrassed about that,
Speaker 1: and now it's like ten times worth. Maybe Curtis, you
Speaker 1: should just tell her the real reason. Yeah, I mean, seriously,
Speaker 1: if your family understands you kissing your cousin, I think
Speaker 1: that they it was the one time thing. It was
Speaker 1: from her to me. Oh, and I didn't mean it
Speaker 1: to happen. It was thirteen years ago. They seem like
Speaker 1: for giving people. What do you want to say to
Speaker 1: your aunt here, Curtis, I think now's the time to
Speaker 1: come out with the truth and this is such a
Speaker 1: bad mistake on every level. Doing it to sweet. I
Speaker 1: could have done this from the get go. So and Sophia,
Speaker 1: I lost my job, I don't have a place. I've
Speaker 1: been couched, and I didn't want to tell you. I
Speaker 1: didn't want my parents to find out because they're gonna
Speaker 1: lose it. So I would appreciate it if you didn't
Speaker 1: pass that along. I know that can be impossible at times,
Speaker 1: but that's why you can't stay, because there is no
Speaker 1: place for you to stay. Yeah, he was. He was
Speaker 1: really embarrassed to share that with you, Sophia. That's why
Speaker 1: he's doing it this way. Well, Curtis, of course, and
Speaker 1: you know your secret is my secret. And next time,
Speaker 1: just pick up the phone and call me. Do you
Speaker 1: need anything? Oh and Sophia, you are so sweet, like
Speaker 1: Usher would say, you don't have to call. It's okay
Speaker 1: girl in every situation, you really Alex, that's for money,
Speaker 1: all right. So maybe the best solution here, Sophia is
Speaker 1: you're going to have to get a hotel or an
Speaker 1: airbnb or something and stay. Yeah, you guys could have
Speaker 1: a good weekend together. That's a great idea. And I
Speaker 1: know that your radio stations sometimes have some special things
Speaker 1: going on. Anything available, like what like a hotel deal.
Speaker 1: You do have an old prize van that's broken down
Speaker 1: that you could probably crash in the back of that
Speaker 1: for free if you wanted to. I'll pass Jeffrey. I'll
Speaker 1: pass Jeffrey. That wasn't Curtis. I will get a place
Speaker 1: and you'll come stay with me and it'll be fine.
Speaker 1: We'll talk about it. Debt awesome. You know what. Just
Speaker 1: for that, I'm going to give you a free lanyard
Speaker 1: from the station and maybe a key chain if we haven't.
Speaker 1: Let's not go overboard here. We'll start with the lanyard.
Speaker 1: See how things go. Okay, Sophia. Fine, I can see you.
Speaker 1: We are not exactly on the upscale here are we.
Speaker 1: It's radio Curtis. You feel satisfied with how this turned out? Um,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I came in with like one secret
Speaker 1: I didn't want to have what out and then four
Speaker 1: we'll see that's exactly what all your sings about this
Speaker 1: concession song. Again, he's a much fashion. For the latest
Speaker 1: in politics, you turn to one of the big twenty
Speaker 1: four hour news channels. For celebrity gossip, you go to
Speaker 1: TMZ or the E Network. Yeah, and for food news,
Speaker 1: nothing beats Buzzies, Bodacious, Barbecue, Buffet, and Brothel on YouTube. Now, wait,
Speaker 1: we can get it all there, yep, But where do
Speaker 1: you go for that weird nichey sliver of life that
Speaker 1: covers hot trends in vegan cat food, both liver and pork.
Speaker 1: That's all us, baby, recover the odd news in a bizarre,
Speaker 1: hard hitting segment called care Don't Care. Yes, and the
Speaker 1: choice of what you're here is left one hundred percent
Speaker 1: up to my co hosts. So pray for us all
Speaker 1: because a brand new Carrot It Don't Care is coming up.
Speaker 1: It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning, and experts say
Speaker 1: there's ten basic human emotions fear, anger, shame, contempt, disgust, guilt, distress, interest, surprise,
Speaker 1: and joy. We're gonna make you feel all ten in
Speaker 1: one segment called care or Don't Care? Yeah, yeah, alright,
Speaker 1: check joy off the list. Only nine when I read
Speaker 1: an emotionally charged headline to my co host and see
Speaker 1: if they want to hear about it or not. Let's
Speaker 1: get into your first one. Oh boy, something church stinks
Speaker 1: in this mousehouse. Carrot don't care care because please tell
Speaker 1: me you're not going to do it the whole time.
Speaker 1: I cared. The happiest place on earth has become rather
Speaker 1: expensive lately, which is why some parents are getting creative
Speaker 1: and how to cut costs. Okay, and there's a TikTok
Speaker 1: of a woman who disguised her elementary school aged child
Speaker 1: as a baby to avoid paying admission. What the video
Speaker 1: shows a Disney cast member smiling and staring down into
Speaker 1: the stroller, but not knowing what to say, and letting
Speaker 1: the obviously not infant child just roll past her. And
Speaker 1: then once the group is past the worker, the woman
Speaker 1: lifts up the little girl, who's ready to take on
Speaker 1: the day in her full Cinderella address, and she appears
Speaker 1: to be about six or seven years old. I mean,
Speaker 1: I get it. I often tell my kids, hate you're
Speaker 1: six and you're four today. Okay, if you didn't know,
Speaker 1: the prices for disney Land right now are one hundred
Speaker 1: and nine to one hundred and fifty nine dollars per
Speaker 1: day shut per person. Every visitor age three and up
Speaker 1: is required to purchase a ticket. So that's how that
Speaker 1: mom got around that rule. I don't have kids in between.
Speaker 1: It's like you just go straight to full price. The
Speaker 1: video has been viewed over fifteen million times, and a
Speaker 1: lot of people commented on TikTok. One person said, my
Speaker 1: son is four, but at Disneyland he knows he's three. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean that you can get away with a big
Speaker 1: jump is. Yeah. Let's see if you guys care about
Speaker 1: this one. The number one pumpkin spice product people want,
Speaker 1: but they can't get carrot on kids. I love that
Speaker 1: Alexis can't get it. It's just like I don't ye
Speaker 1: get joy in that I care. For the start of fall,
Speaker 1: Google Trends just did a big roundup of all the
Speaker 1: big pumpkin spice products that we've been googling lately. Surprisingly,
Speaker 1: there's one that's not necessarily available right now, but people
Speaker 1: are willing to part with their hard earned money to
Speaker 1: get their hands on it. I'm talking about pumpkin spice
Speaker 1: kitty litter. Wait, why are saying you? Are you being serious?
Speaker 1: I'm gonna eat it right now. That's the top search
Speaker 1: pumpkin spice scented products we've been searching for online. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess that's a real thing. A lot of people
Speaker 1: swear they've seen it in Toronto walmarts in prior years,
Speaker 1: but they may not have it available this time around.
Speaker 1: Why would you not want your cat to have a
Speaker 1: pumpkin spice litterbox? About it? It's not a place to
Speaker 1: put spice it. I feel like it's the place that
Speaker 1: needs it. Yeah. Other notables are people in Tennessee searching
Speaker 1: for pumpkin spice kit cats. In Ohio they're searching for
Speaker 1: pumpkin spice cheesecake balls. Okay, yeah yeah, And sadly, in Virginia,
Speaker 1: it's pumpkin spice dump cake. That's where you like dump
Speaker 1: everything into the pan. Like that's why they call it.
Speaker 1: They're good, Yeah, let's go with that's why they call it. Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: Washington State likes pumpkin spice cup of noodles the most.
Speaker 1: And finally, in Indiana, they're googling pumpkin spice spam. Oh wow,
Speaker 1: I guess it's already spice. Let's see if you guys
Speaker 1: care about this. The controversial new restaurant policy. I know
Speaker 1: brook will support one hundred and ten tipping. I tip
Speaker 1: all the time. In Singapore, there's a restaurant called Angie's
Speaker 1: Oyster Bar and Grill. Okay, a little over a month ago,
Speaker 1: they received multiple complaints about how rowdy children were running
Speaker 1: around unattended, disturbing the other tables. Oh yeah, that's an issue,
Speaker 1: So you got to keep your kids on the seat.
Speaker 1: And this wasn't the first time it was happening there.
Speaker 1: So Angie the owner, instituted a new policy recently called
Speaker 1: the ten dollars screaming child Surcharge. Basically, if your kid's
Speaker 1: yelling or if they take off and run down the
Speaker 1: aisle at any point, they're going to add ten bucks
Speaker 1: to your total bill. And they say it's not just
Speaker 1: about noise, it's also for safety reasons because they have
Speaker 1: a lot of sharp cutlery and plates with like scalding
Speaker 1: hot foods on them, so they can of kids running around.
Speaker 1: And it's harder than ever, you know, like those kids.
Speaker 1: It didn't go out for two years because of the pandemic,
Speaker 1: and now they don't know how to behave anymore. So
Speaker 1: now if you call for a reservation, they let you
Speaker 1: know over the phone they are not a child friendly establishment,
Speaker 1: and they've removed all high chairs and booster seats from
Speaker 1: the premises. Yeah, sprigging their kids to an oyster bar.
Speaker 1: I mean, if you have kids that will eat oysters,
Speaker 1: tell me your tricks. That's true. Ever since the policy
Speaker 1: has been in place, Angie says, it's been a major
Speaker 1: improvement with a lot fewer incidents and complaints, and now
Speaker 1: any customers who do come in with children are way
Speaker 1: more careful and more active making sure they don't cause trouble.
Speaker 1: But they give the heads up, which is cool. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but not everybody's happy about it. On trip Advisor, Ruth
Speaker 1: one two three four nine, screaming child's surcharge question mark
Speaker 1: question mark when I paid to sit at a table.
Speaker 1: My kid can do whatever he wants, and for them
Speaker 1: to use the excuse that he could run into sharp
Speaker 1: cutlery is ridiculous. My little Aggie has been around knives
Speaker 1: all his life. He has no problem handing sharp cutlery.
Speaker 1: This rule is disrespectful to me and my family. I
Speaker 1: will not be coming back, Ruth. That's exactly they're trying
Speaker 1: to keep people away. Good. I feel like Ruth's son
Speaker 1: is like eighteen. Actually, you don't schedule a play date
Speaker 1: with Augie. Finally, Jeff's joke of the day care don't care? Yes,
Speaker 1: how does Bigfoot know what time it is by looking
Speaker 1: at his sasquatch. That was care. Don't care? Deborah from
Speaker 1: Mercer I is on the phone and she's out for revenge.
Speaker 1: She's owing three against you all time, Brooke. But when
Speaker 1: our producer asked her, what's going to be different today,
Speaker 1: she said nothing? Whoa she has been practicing on trivia
Speaker 1: crack apparently, Brooke? What trivia drug have you been practicing on?
Speaker 1: Like it's trivia? Meth? Trivia cheaper? Welcome to the show.
Speaker 1: You how confident? Aren't you feeling? Scale of one to
Speaker 1: ten here? I would say a six? A six, that's
Speaker 1: pretty good, Deborah? Yeah, what about your confidence? You know?
Speaker 1: Aren't show just here today? Yeah? That meth is really
Speaker 1: kicking in. She can't put her thumb on what exactly
Speaker 1: she is feeling. What I'm seeing is a purple hipp hope.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be a good day. We're gonna send you
Speaker 1: out of the studio, Brooke while that happens. Deborah, you
Speaker 1: know the game, Wade. He got thirty seconds. Answer as
Speaker 1: many questions as you can. If you don't know when,
Speaker 1: you could say pass. But you have to beat Brooke
Speaker 1: outright to win? Are you ready? Yes? All right? Today
Speaker 1: is the day? Here we go. Time starts now on
Speaker 1: this day in nineteen o eight, the first Model T
Speaker 1: left the production line in what city? Detroit? Hawaii? Was
Speaker 1: the last? But what was the first official state in America? Virginia?
Speaker 1: What animal is on the Porsche logo? Horse? Spice and
Speaker 1: ham make up? What processed food? Dam Kim Kardashian was
Speaker 1: once a personal assistant for what other celebrity path? Tell me?
Speaker 1: What does either one of the a's in NASA stand for?
Speaker 1: Dara knocks? All right, we got those answers in good work, Deborah.
Speaker 1: Book's going to come back in studio. And our producer
Speaker 1: also asked you what your favorite thing about the fall
Speaker 1: is and you told him Starbucks pumpkin patch latte. Wait
Speaker 1: a minute, not pumpkin spice. The pumpkin patch lattes, which
Speaker 1: I think it's just mashed up pumpkin on the ground
Speaker 1: and she scoops it up and puts it in her mouth,
Speaker 1: little gritty, little gritty. Is that right? The farm? Ye? Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: Warnish you meant pumpkin spice lattes, didn't you? I know?
Speaker 1: Does she knows? Good? Yeah? I feel like we should
Speaker 1: have you been drinking this morning, Deborah, No, not yet Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's still all right, Brooks, your turn? Are you ready? Yes?
Speaker 1: Your time starts now. On this day in nineteen o eight,
Speaker 1: the first Model T left the production line in what city? Detroit?
Speaker 1: Hawaii was the last but what was the first official
Speaker 1: state in America? Delaware? What animal is on the Porsche
Speaker 1: logo A Mustang? Spice? Spice and ham make up? What
Speaker 1: processed food? Spam? Kim Kardashian was once a personal assistant
Speaker 1: for what other celebrity? Tell me? What does either one
Speaker 1: of the a's in NASA stand for? All Right, I
Speaker 1: got those answers, and we're gonna go to the scoreboard
Speaker 1: to check out how you did with Jose. I don't
Speaker 1: want you hanging around with these ignorant idiots. You did great,
Speaker 1: you got four corrected. Crack has done good pay a
Speaker 1: long time. It makes me want to redownload it and
Speaker 1: brook Yes, no trivia crack for you? And I don't
Speaker 1: know still five C trivia wine? Help? Yeah, let's go
Speaker 1: over the answer is real quick. On this day in
Speaker 1: nineteen o eight, the first Model T left the production
Speaker 1: line in Detroit, Michigan. Yes, motor City, Hawaii was the
Speaker 1: last state. The first official state in America was Delaware.
Speaker 1: Well done on that one. Knew that second Pennsylvania, Third
Speaker 1: is New Jersey. The Porsche logo has a horse or
Speaker 1: I guess some Mustang. Yeah, spice and ham makeup, spam.
Speaker 1: Kim Kardashian used to be a personal assistant for Paris
Speaker 1: Hilton in two thousand and six. Picture now yea And
Speaker 1: in NASA, the two A stand for Aeronautics and Administration
Speaker 1: National Aeronautics and Space Administration. So, Deborah, unfortunately we can't
Speaker 1: give you any money here, but Jess we're playing. You
Speaker 1: do win a pair of tickets to Octoberfest Northwest at
Speaker 1: the Washington State Fairgrounds and you can enjoy a huge
Speaker 1: variety of German beers port in Stein's the Stein Dash
Speaker 1: five k or at the Root Beer Garden. So you enjoy, ye,
Speaker 1: bring the kids, get him started early. Yeah, yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. We're playing, Deborah. We're gonna be
Speaker 1: back to do win Brooks Bucks same time tomorrow, brook
Speaker 1: and Jeffrey in the morning,