Speaker 1: All right, guappo, Oh did you get a hair cut?
Speaker 1: Did you get a little trim? Trim? Man, I'm working
Speaker 1: on a show right now. I'm always getting haircuts. Do
Speaker 1: you look good. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna blow smoke,
Speaker 1: but you're looking fine. You can blow smoke if you
Speaker 1: want you. I will blow smoke all over you, oh boy,
Speaker 1: and I will watch it ripple all open my curves,
Speaker 1: all through your crevices and nooks. We need to get
Speaker 1: this out because we're about to invite my mom on
Speaker 1: the show. Any naughty talk needs to come out right now. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say this. Your mom's book made me cry,
Speaker 1: me too, dude. It made me cry a lot. Like
Speaker 1: I was sitting there like, wow, this is you know,
Speaker 1: and I just read it before we did the show.
Speaker 1: So as I was walking up the stairs, I was like,
Speaker 1: get your shit together, Buck, tell her that because that'll
Speaker 1: really move her. And of course it made me cry too.
Speaker 1: We today, guys are gonna have my mom on the
Speaker 1: show and welcome, welcome, welcome, and we um, we're we're
Speaker 1: gonna be sitting a little bit because Donald and I
Speaker 1: are both going back to work, so um, o. Our
Speaker 1: one year pandemic job is going to have to shift
Speaker 1: a little bit. We're doing this on a Sunday afternoon.
Speaker 1: Thank you Joel and Dale for accommodating us. And um,
Speaker 1: and then and then we're gonna have a big whole
Speaker 1: party with the live show, which is a Friday, the
Speaker 1: twenty sixth, So we're skipping an episode, but we're gonna
Speaker 1: come back to it later on. I guess that's what's
Speaker 1: going to happen. Yes, if you have a ticket to
Speaker 1: the live show, technically you will still get two shows
Speaker 1: this week. I'm just saying you have. So please don't
Speaker 1: yell at us for going back to one show here
Speaker 1: and there, because we just can't. This has been so
Speaker 1: awesome And don't think we don't love doing it, but
Speaker 1: we're so thrilled that we actually have a chance to
Speaker 1: do some of the work we really do love to entertain.
Speaker 1: You are acting and m and so we're going back
Speaker 1: to work for reels. Yes, yes, yes, but we're gonna
Speaker 1: keep the show going because we love doing it. So
Speaker 1: it's just gonna it might not be twice a week
Speaker 1: all the time. Um, it might just be once a week.
Speaker 1: We also want to have the fun of folding in
Speaker 1: special guests like Donald's mom and my mom and lots
Speaker 1: of Um, we talked to all the stuff we've told
Speaker 1: you about about people from the show, the stand ins. Um,
Speaker 1: Joel is working on contacting the stand ins and some
Speaker 1: fun crew members and all that stuff. UM. So I
Speaker 1: just wanted to let's just go through a couple logistics
Speaker 1: for the live show, because I did see there were
Speaker 1: tons of questions on my Instagram and I'm sure Donald's
Speaker 1: years as well. Um. I'm off Twitter, but Joel, I'm
Speaker 1: sure you're getting Twitter questions, So fill in any blanks. Um.
Speaker 1: The answer is it is totally not globe. What do
Speaker 1: they call that global locked? Geo locked? What's that term?
Speaker 1: I don't know it. I don't know, I don't know what. Well,
Speaker 1: somebodyple aast if it's geo whatever. The point is, you
Speaker 1: can watch it anywhere stad Um, Kenya, Italy, the Uzbekistan.
Speaker 1: Probably not North Korea. I'm guessing I'm sure you could
Speaker 1: if if you if you were Waconda, it's playing in Waconda, yes,
Speaker 1: and Conda. It's available everywhere. It's available now, you might say,
Speaker 1: but Zach and Donald and Joel and Daniel, I can't
Speaker 1: stay up in the middle of the night. That's fine.
Speaker 1: If you buy a ticket, you can then listen until
Speaker 1: April second or right, Joel. Yes, it's a full week
Speaker 1: after it premieres, so I believe. There you go, so
Speaker 1: you get a week to listen to it or sorry,
Speaker 1: watch it. Watch it now. We have been outfitted with
Speaker 1: dope mega cameras, so we're gonna look so pretty. We're
Speaker 1: gonna look as we're gonna look our prettiest. Also, Donald
Speaker 1: and I are both getting in shape to act, so
Speaker 1: we look as handsome as we've ever looked. Well, I
Speaker 1: don't look as handsome as I've ever looked. I disagree.
Speaker 1: I'm on the road. You're looking good, buddy, You're looking fine.
Speaker 1: You looking fly. You are a gentleman and a scholar.
Speaker 1: There's going to Bill Lawrence is our is our main guest.
Speaker 1: He's very excited. He called me with so many questions
Speaker 1: from London. He's returning. He'll be returning from Ted Lasso
Speaker 1: production to come be on our show. And and that's it.
Speaker 1: I think it's going to be roughly two hours what
Speaker 1: we're aiming for. It'll be. If you're in North America,
Speaker 1: it will be six on the West coast, nine on
Speaker 1: the East coast, and of course for all the other countries.
Speaker 1: You just have to google the time difference between you
Speaker 1: and Los Angeles and you can watch it live and
Speaker 1: if you're in the middle of the night and it's asleep,
Speaker 1: you can watch it the next day or blah blah
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. Well anything. I'm forgetting to explain to
Speaker 1: people that might have questions. I don't think, So it's
Speaker 1: some clock. You guys can come in. We saw people
Speaker 1: in the chat already. Ye chat isn't up and running,
Speaker 1: so go for yours. Not that we'll be up in there,
Speaker 1: but no, no, no, there'll be other fake doctor's real
Speaker 1: friends fans in there. So if you yes, you all
Speaker 1: talk with your with your peers, go right ahead. The
Speaker 1: sound machine will be labeled so I won't accidentally hit
Speaker 1: the wrong thing. Wo tank forever and um forever. All right,
Speaker 1: let's go ahead, and let's invite my mom in the show.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, let's count said baby, five, six, seven, eight,
Speaker 1: stories about show we made about a bunch of dots
Speaker 1: and nurses said stories never should so yeadoo around you
Speaker 1: here are yadoo around you here. M Oh, my god,
Speaker 1: I'm nervous. M Hi, Hi, mommy, Hi. I'm just making
Speaker 1: sure I'm doing this right. Mom. Don't worry about ninety
Speaker 1: eight percent of the people we have on have trouble connecting,
Speaker 1: so don't worry, especially Sarah Chuk for some reason. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Sarah Chalk every single time, Well every time you've been
Speaker 1: good company. Yeah yeah, yeah. Hi to Donald, because I
Speaker 1: haven't really said hi, sweetheart, how are hi? How are you?
Speaker 1: It's good to see you and to see you too,
Speaker 1: right on before we're all off and everything. I gotta
Speaker 1: get my wife up here because she's gonna want to
Speaker 1: say hi too. She found out you were on the show,
Speaker 1: she was like, don't let me, don't forget to come.
Speaker 1: Tell my mom. We're gonna get to her book, But
Speaker 1: tell my mom what you said. The second you got
Speaker 1: on Your book made me cry, like weep, like cry.
Speaker 1: I had a really strong emotional response to it. No,
Speaker 1: that's an interesting, Donald, because that's why I couldn't get
Speaker 1: it published by traditional publishers. They said that parents wouldn't
Speaker 1: buy it because it was too sad. Oh. I didn't
Speaker 1: think it was too sad. I just I never really
Speaker 1: looked at it from the kid's point of view. I always,
Speaker 1: you know, being a divorced parent, you always look at
Speaker 1: it from your point of view and how you know,
Speaker 1: how you feel. And it just broke my heart that
Speaker 1: the kid was hurting for a little bit, but she
Speaker 1: had such amazing parents that they were willing to work
Speaker 1: it out. And it wasn't like that when my parents
Speaker 1: got divorced, you know what I mean. And it wasn't
Speaker 1: like that when I got divorced, and it was so
Speaker 1: it was so refreshing to see a family that was
Speaker 1: able to do it. And so it wasn't like some
Speaker 1: of it was sad, but some of it was like joy,
Speaker 1: Like wow, like you know, if they could get this together,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe I could have gotten it together. Well,
Speaker 1: I wanted I wanted the parents to be kind of
Speaker 1: a model for parents reading the book. Yeah, so they
Speaker 1: could say, well, what could we try any of this?
Speaker 1: Could we try something? You know, yeah, if it really
Speaker 1: is you know, there's a lot of research on this,
Speaker 1: and it really is better for the kids if the
Speaker 1: parents can remain respectful to each other and generous to
Speaker 1: each other. Well, let's let's just dive right into this
Speaker 1: because it's just happening naturally. Um, we want to talk
Speaker 1: to my mom because she's my mom and when I
Speaker 1: and we love her obviously Donald and Donald's like a
Speaker 1: part of the family. And um, but and talk about
Speaker 1: my mom's experience of what Scrubs was like from her
Speaker 1: point of view, and maybe some funny childhood stories. But
Speaker 1: the first thing we want the things we wanted to
Speaker 1: have her on was my mom is a wonderful psychologist
Speaker 1: who's occasionally I give out words of her wisdom to
Speaker 1: all of you listeners. And when I was a child,
Speaker 1: she wrote a popular children's book about adoption for children
Speaker 1: called The Mulberry Bird. Um and UM, if you have
Speaker 1: an adopted child, I can obviously highly recommend that book.
Speaker 1: It has been it's very very popular for adopted families.
Speaker 1: But recently, my mom, as she will discuss and tell us, UM,
Speaker 1: noticed that there she was having trouble finding the right
Speaker 1: book to discuss divorce with your child roughly ages six
Speaker 1: to ten, and decided that she would set about to
Speaker 1: write one herself. So what is it, Mom, that you
Speaker 1: that you thought wasn't out there for parents? You know,
Speaker 1: I don't remember when when you and Dad got divorced,
Speaker 1: really any children's books that were I mean, obviously you
Speaker 1: were skilled as a psychologist to handle it as best
Speaker 1: as you could. But tell me, tell everyone in us
Speaker 1: what came to your mind when you said, I want
Speaker 1: to create something that will help parents talk to their children. Well,
Speaker 1: it's a similar story as as existed for the mulberry bird,
Speaker 1: and that is a story that tells the child what
Speaker 1: happened with the birth mother. And there were no books
Speaker 1: for children about adoption at that time, and there's still
Speaker 1: very few where the birth mother's story is told, and
Speaker 1: that's the story the child really wants to hear. So
Speaker 1: when I thought about the Falling Downtime, I thought, well,
Speaker 1: the children's books that exist for divorced divorcing parents to
Speaker 1: read now are based on the parents wish for the
Speaker 1: child to be okay. The parents profound wish that they
Speaker 1: aren't hurting their child, and so they're all pretty cheerful,
Speaker 1: like it's going to be okay, you're going to have
Speaker 1: more toys, you're going to have another bedroom, you're going
Speaker 1: to go to do this and that, and it's all
Speaker 1: very um. You might be sad, but it's all gonna
Speaker 1: be fine. Yeah, So I thought I wanted to write
Speaker 1: a book from the child's perspective, which would first of all,
Speaker 1: show what the child remembers everything being all right, and
Speaker 1: for for a child, that's what they remember, and suddenly,
Speaker 1: for some reason, things are not all right and they
Speaker 1: don't know why. Yeah, it was it. That was also
Speaker 1: what I think triggered my emotional response. Everything was so
Speaker 1: vivid and the memories were so vivid in the beginning,
Speaker 1: you know, remember, yes, so specific and like it was
Speaker 1: like fresh and in the child's head. And then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden there was the shift, and the kid
Speaker 1: didn't know what it was, but just everything wasn't the same.
Speaker 1: And yeah, and I imagine they very often and internalize
Speaker 1: that and make it that they did something wrong. That's
Speaker 1: a very common response for children to have, is that
Speaker 1: this strange thing is happening and their parents. I think
Speaker 1: one of the reasons they blind they think they've done
Speaker 1: something wrong is their parents become quieter and sadder and
Speaker 1: more distant, and these observations sort of resemble when their
Speaker 1: mom or dad has been mad at them in the past,
Speaker 1: So they think, oh, I've done something. Surely this couldn't
Speaker 1: have happened just out of the blue, I must have
Speaker 1: done something. Children are very ectocentric. They think that the
Speaker 1: world revolves around them. I never thought of it in
Speaker 1: the context before of like, oh, when they're behaving the
Speaker 1: same way to behave when they're mad at me because
Speaker 1: they've gotten quiet, they're and they're not as I don't know,
Speaker 1: silly and effusive or whatever the exactly exactly. So that
Speaker 1: is why I wrote the book. And the book is
Speaker 1: called The Falling Down Time, One Child Story about divorce,
Speaker 1: and it is available on Amazon, and it was written
Speaker 1: by my mom, and it is the talk a little
Speaker 1: bit to mom about people say, well, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: hearing Donald say he cried. I'm hearing you guys say
Speaker 1: you were emotional. What do you say to the parent
Speaker 1: who say, well, I don't I don't want to face
Speaker 1: my child's sadness about this. I want the you know,
Speaker 1: I imagine parents are nervous about doing the honest, sort
Speaker 1: of emotional children's book as opposed to the chipper one
Speaker 1: you know about You'll have two sets of toys. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: that's a really good question, because that is a challenge
Speaker 1: for parents. It's a really big challenge for people who
Speaker 1: are divorcing to be able to say, what can I
Speaker 1: possibly do that would be good for my child? And
Speaker 1: what you can do. One of the things you can
Speaker 1: do is let them feel what they're feeling. Don't hold it,
Speaker 1: don't don't don't don't don't push those feelings away, right,
Speaker 1: And it is going to as a parent, you are
Speaker 1: going to feel terrible about this at times, but something
Speaker 1: terrible is happening in your life and in their life,
Speaker 1: and to pretend that that's different is really a kind
Speaker 1: of abandonment. Really, it's kind of walking away from the
Speaker 1: child into into what you need, and actually isn't about
Speaker 1: what you need right now, it's what your child needs. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like the parent doesn't want to deal with the
Speaker 1: emotion because that's really hard. So but you're saying that
Speaker 1: that's you can't. You can't abandon the child's emotions. You
Speaker 1: have to face it straight on. Yeah you can. You
Speaker 1: can abandon them, but it isn't good for them, right right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's very it's you know, it's very interesting. My kids
Speaker 1: and I we had a really rough time after my
Speaker 1: ex wife and I got divorced, and we're all good now,
Speaker 1: but I can I remember thinking, oh, there's probably never
Speaker 1: going to see each other again, or we're probably never
Speaker 1: going to talk again. I remember we talked about that
Speaker 1: at some time at some point, and now, I mean,
Speaker 1: now my kids live with me, and you know, it's
Speaker 1: it's it's amazing how things shifted. But I do at
Speaker 1: the end of the book, when you know, when when
Speaker 1: the child gives encouragement to other kids. You know, from
Speaker 1: what I understand, a lot of kids go through this
Speaker 1: and they all turned out pretty well. That was also
Speaker 1: one of those moments like, yes, you're absolutely right, and
Speaker 1: I got emotional about that because my kids are with
Speaker 1: me now, and I remember there was a moment when
Speaker 1: that wasn't a possibility and I didn't see and I
Speaker 1: couldn't see that light at the end of the tunnel,
Speaker 1: and now, you know. I think one of the things
Speaker 1: that's so special about your book to Mom is, like
Speaker 1: like Donald said, it like an episode of The Simpsons
Speaker 1: in a comedic way, is funny to kids on a
Speaker 1: kid level, and adults are getting stuff that's going over
Speaker 1: their head. I feel like the Falling Downtime is is
Speaker 1: good for for both parents and kids. The kids are
Speaker 1: going to get their version of the story and the
Speaker 1: parents like Donald's is saying, as a parent of divorced
Speaker 1: children is going to get their emotional but sort of
Speaker 1: a guide book in a small sense of how how
Speaker 1: you could behave in a healthy way for the for
Speaker 1: the child, but told from a children child's point of view,
Speaker 1: which I thought was really really well done. Thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you. That's my whole. Yeah, you're such a good
Speaker 1: writer too. And I know you're saying, listener that I'm biased,
Speaker 1: but she is such a good writer. My mom, how
Speaker 1: about this, get the book? How about this, go out,
Speaker 1: get the book and then being a judge for yourself.
Speaker 1: All right, how about that? Get the book. It's on Amazon.
Speaker 1: But my mom's the kind of person that will write
Speaker 1: you like a thank you note and you've got like
Speaker 1: tears in your eyes because it's so beautiful. You're such
Speaker 1: a good writer. Um, let's segue a bit, mom and
Speaker 1: talk about um what what Let's talk about Zachly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's switch to me. Enough about the book to me now.
Speaker 1: But I thought I thought that, you know, for listeners
Speaker 1: who who are here because they love the show Scrubs,
Speaker 1: it might be interesting from from your perspective, you know,
Speaker 1: what was it? What was it like? Do you remember
Speaker 1: the day I called you and said, you know, I've
Speaker 1: been trying to be an actor since I was a child.
Speaker 1: And we can talk about that too, But do you
Speaker 1: remember the day and what your feelings were? I had
Speaker 1: six callbacks for scrubs. Do you remember that whole process?
Speaker 1: I do. I do remember, and it was very, very exciting. Um.
Speaker 1: And the interesting thing is, I look back on it,
Speaker 1: it was hard for me to put it into a
Speaker 1: context because to me, you would be successful at that
Speaker 1: point for a long time. And I didn't really until
Speaker 1: you helped me understand it realize what a big deal
Speaker 1: it was. Hey, why did you think I'd been successful
Speaker 1: for a long time when i'd been when I was
Speaker 1: a waiter when I got the part. I mean not
Speaker 1: to dis waiters, but I was. I was. I was
Speaker 1: barely surviving on money. But this success for me was
Speaker 1: not about money. It was about your abilities and your talent.
Speaker 1: And and you had been getting callbacks since you were
Speaker 1: fourteen years old, a lot of callbacks. You've been auditioning
Speaker 1: from that age, and people were calling us in to
Speaker 1: talk to us and tell us maybe you weren't going
Speaker 1: to get the part, but you were fantastic and so
Speaker 1: we were hearing as parents that you were very, very talented,
Speaker 1: and I really only I honestly thought it was only
Speaker 1: a matter of time. Oh really, you never told me
Speaker 1: that i'd like to hear that. Yeah, I didn't know.
Speaker 1: I didn't know. I mean, it's so stressful for parents.
Speaker 1: And I'm sure if you're a parent listening and your
Speaker 1: child is pursuing the arts, you know you want to
Speaker 1: support them and you want to love them, and of
Speaker 1: course you want them to follow their dreams, but there
Speaker 1: has to be nerves like, oh, I hope that they
Speaker 1: can make a living at this, of course. Okay, but
Speaker 1: how do you handle it if your kid doesn't have
Speaker 1: it and you're getting the feedback of well this might
Speaker 1: not be yeah, but you But that's up to the child,
Speaker 1: I mean the child, the young adults or the adult
Speaker 1: to decide when to give up. You get the parent,
Speaker 1: I mean, I we're talking. I'm telling the psychologist what
Speaker 1: to think, but it seems to me the parent can't
Speaker 1: decide that. You have to let the kid or the
Speaker 1: young adult figure that out. But there has to be
Speaker 1: some honesty in there too that don't you have to
Speaker 1: be like, okay, well I'm not trying to crush your dreams.
Speaker 1: They said, I'm a butt, but they said you don't
Speaker 1: got what it takes, baby, and that you should probably
Speaker 1: think about going into sanitation. Like what if it doesn't. Well,
Speaker 1: I always, I always thought it. I've said this on
Speaker 1: the show. I always. My plan was always I'm gonna
Speaker 1: give it my all, but if not, I will do
Speaker 1: something in production. And I say this to people again,
Speaker 1: I'll say it now. If you're pursuing the arts and
Speaker 1: you know your backup doesn't have to be being an orthodonist,
Speaker 1: which is always what I pick as the my random career.
Speaker 1: It could be something and you can still work in
Speaker 1: filmmaking and TV making. You might not be the star
Speaker 1: in front of the camera, but you'll you can be
Speaker 1: in the process. I'm sorry, mom, you go, you go?
Speaker 1: What how do you How does a parent deal with this? Well,
Speaker 1: there's a couple of things on table here. One is
Speaker 1: question about how do you help a child when you really,
Speaker 1: you know, you look at each other and say this,
Speaker 1: this isn't happening. You know. I think conversations about that
Speaker 1: that aren't really like, well, why don't you go into
Speaker 1: something else? But let's talk about a whole lot of
Speaker 1: things you could do with what you know how to do.
Speaker 1: Let's make a list. And that segues into what Zach
Speaker 1: is saying is that if your child is wanting to
Speaker 1: be a dancer but isn't good enough, danswer to be
Speaker 1: um making a living at it, Well, the's a lot
Speaker 1: of things that's around dancing and performing and those kinds
Speaker 1: of things could be doing an usher. No, Mom, I
Speaker 1: think I have this in my mind because you always
Speaker 1: probably help me, help me figure this out, which is like,
Speaker 1: you know, there's a there's a myriad of things you
Speaker 1: can do that aren't the exact thing aimed for that goal.
Speaker 1: But then but then have things lower on the on
Speaker 1: the pyramid that are things you you will be skilled
Speaker 1: at at that point that you can also do. I
Speaker 1: don't think that you I don't think that I helped
Speaker 1: you figured that out. I'm going to tell a story
Speaker 1: now from a long time ago that you've heard before
Speaker 1: and Donald probably has, and this illustrates that you knew
Speaker 1: from a very early age that there were other things.
Speaker 1: When you were seven years old, for your birthday, you
Speaker 1: asked us if we would buy you were curtains to
Speaker 1: hang in the TV room, center of the TV room.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Well the curtain guy. The curtain guy
Speaker 1: must have been like, wait, what in the middle of
Speaker 1: the room. You really want the curtains? Do you remember?
Speaker 1: It was he like, you want to put a curtain
Speaker 1: in the middle of I don't remember that. But you
Speaker 1: also said that was not the only gift you wanted
Speaker 1: clip on lights from the hardware store. You wanted a
Speaker 1: light board, lighting board. Did they have a home lighting
Speaker 1: board for kids? So sweet you made? I did, by
Speaker 1: the way, Donald, listen, I made one. What I did
Speaker 1: was she got me the clip on lights, and I
Speaker 1: took I took multiple um time you know those things
Speaker 1: that are meant to go in the tim Yeah. No, no,
Speaker 1: the thing you put if you're in the old days
Speaker 1: when you were going away and you wanted your lights
Speaker 1: to go on and off timer, so I would rig
Speaker 1: the clip on lights with gails on them to those
Speaker 1: timer lights and I could flick the switch on the timers.
Speaker 1: That's true, Sorry, mom, go ahead, No, it really was
Speaker 1: true that you knew at that age, you were seven
Speaker 1: years old, that there was something exciting about the theater
Speaker 1: and about performing, and then you engaged your siblings in
Speaker 1: making dramas, and you called it the Braffrodzinski Theater. And
Speaker 1: you actually sold tickets when we had dinner party. You
Speaker 1: could I you were out on the front court tickets. Yes,
Speaker 1: trying to make that money. I got that hustle early, Donald.
Speaker 1: My mom's just trying to have a dinner party. I'm
Speaker 1: out front charging tickets to a play that the guests
Speaker 1: don't want to go to. Can you imagine? Can you
Speaker 1: imagine you go to your friend's house for dinner and
Speaker 1: then Ken, You're like, Oh, it's cute, he's selling tickets
Speaker 1: to the show. And then dinner's over. You're like, wait,
Speaker 1: what we really have to go to go to the show? Well,
Speaker 1: you you were selling tickets to the guests for for dinner.
Speaker 1: Were you just selling tickets to rent people walking down
Speaker 1: the street? Oh? No, guests for dinner. But little did
Speaker 1: they know that they had come to dinner. After dinner,
Speaker 1: there would be a play. And they weren't always short plays,
Speaker 1: right mom. Sometimes they had gravitas and in depth. They
Speaker 1: were a little bit convoluted at chimes. Yes, and you're
Speaker 1: two younger sisters. Your older sister and your younger sister
Speaker 1: were a cast of characters. Yeah, so you didn't have
Speaker 1: too much to work with. Oh my god, I remember this, mom,
Speaker 1: and I gotta tell you just another kudos to you
Speaker 1: for being a great mom that when I said, can
Speaker 1: I have a curtain in the middle of the TV room?
Speaker 1: You said yes? And we did so many plays we had.
Speaker 1: By the way, if you have a child and you
Speaker 1: don't have to put it in the middle of the room,
Speaker 1: or if they have a playroom, you could put it
Speaker 1: like one third of the way through the room. But
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you, this curtain that was, you know,
Speaker 1: probably not super expensive. We got so much joy from
Speaker 1: just the idea of we're putting on a show and
Speaker 1: we can pull the curtain and do a show. And
Speaker 1: then the big feature of it was it had to
Speaker 1: be a curtain. Yeah what it was. We got so
Speaker 1: many hours of joy out of that damn curtain. Yeah yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think you know. I was also into the tech,
Speaker 1: you know, as you know, I was into the technical theater.
Speaker 1: So these these these shows would sometimes have elaborate set
Speaker 1: changes that the audience would have to wait while me
Speaker 1: and my little sister were changing the set behind the curtain. Okay,
Speaker 1: so let me ask you a question. You knew you
Speaker 1: wanted to be in theater, You knew you wanted to
Speaker 1: be a performer of some sort. When did you realize
Speaker 1: you wanted to tell stories too? Though? When was that?
Speaker 1: When did that become part of the It's a good question.
Speaker 1: I have an early memory of standing in front of
Speaker 1: I think it was fifth grade. We had been given
Speaker 1: an assignment that we were going to read a story.
Speaker 1: I may have told this before in the podcast. We
Speaker 1: were told to read a story, and then we were
Speaker 1: going to read. Those who swanted to could read it
Speaker 1: in front of the classroom. And I wrote my story
Speaker 1: and I included the characters in my story were kids
Speaker 1: in the class, so I made them the proton certain
Speaker 1: kids in the class that were you know, popular or
Speaker 1: everybody liked. I kind of made them the protagonists. And
Speaker 1: then when I it was funny, and when I read
Speaker 1: the story, the whole class, including the teacher, were belly laughing,
Speaker 1: And I remember like looking up being like this feeling
Speaker 1: of I wrote this at my death and all of
Speaker 1: these kids, including that teacher, are cracking up. Is like
Speaker 1: was like a Eureka moment for me, like, oh, I
Speaker 1: want to keep doing this like this, not only performing it.
Speaker 1: But the fact that these are my thoughts that I said,
Speaker 1: Naima Johnson did something, you know, funny on this adventure
Speaker 1: that I'd made up. Whatever it was, it was a
Speaker 1: great It was a great feeling. And I think that
Speaker 1: that that it's sort of just kind of dovetailed into
Speaker 1: all the things I was doing, the community, theater, the
Speaker 1: camp and stuff like that. Did you get a lot
Speaker 1: of calls from school about how creative your son was?
Speaker 1: And um, when he was in school, Um, he didn't
Speaker 1: do a lot of theater. He did theater camp in
Speaker 1: the summer. But one story I do remember is when
Speaker 1: he was in high school, he was very active in
Speaker 1: the television and radio station they had at the high school.
Speaker 1: A what was it? What did you call it? Um? Well,
Speaker 1: in college it was called RTVF. I forgot what the
Speaker 1: what the high version which is where you roll in
Speaker 1: the TV the av squad. I told everyone to Mom
Speaker 1: about how I was when I was younger. I was
Speaker 1: I thought I was so cool because I was on
Speaker 1: the I was on the team that would roll the
Speaker 1: projectors into the classroom, and I I just I thought
Speaker 1: I was Fonzie. I just thought there was nobody cooler
Speaker 1: than me because I was wheeling that projector into the classroom.
Speaker 1: There you are, I mean, yeah, but I go ahead,
Speaker 1: tell them tell the story about its own. The story
Speaker 1: is that there was a news program that um was
Speaker 1: on a local station, you know, that they had in
Speaker 1: the community, and so they did a real news program
Speaker 1: I think every week, Sack, I don't know, something like that. Yeah, anyway,
Speaker 1: I remember it was Channel thirty five. Yes, and you
Speaker 1: were I guess for a series of them or a
Speaker 1: couple of them. You were the director. Yeah, and uh
Speaker 1: you won Director of the Year at in high school
Speaker 1: that year, my first award for directing. Yes, and this
Speaker 1: is one of the moments I remember being very proud
Speaker 1: of you. And it's happened since then, but this was
Speaker 1: one of the first. The man who ran the program
Speaker 1: came over to me afterwards and said, you have no
Speaker 1: idea how wonderfully he is with all the people who
Speaker 1: are doing this program. He's talking to them through the
Speaker 1: microphone and telling them they're doing a great job. He's
Speaker 1: telling them that was wonderful. I love that when they
Speaker 1: make a mistake, he's telling them, don't worry. He's whispering
Speaker 1: to them. And he said, I never saw anything like that,
Speaker 1: So it made me very proud of you as a person.
Speaker 1: You brought tears to my eyes, Mom, because I love
Speaker 1: that you told that story. But also I was a
Speaker 1: very happy time. You know, I did feel quite alienated
Speaker 1: in high school, as you know. I had friends and everything,
Speaker 1: but I just couldn't I wasn't into sports, and I
Speaker 1: couldn't find my thing. And in that TV group, I
Speaker 1: found my people, and in directing, I found a thing
Speaker 1: that really lit me up. And I'm really happy memories
Speaker 1: from being there. So I just have to say one
Speaker 1: more thing that every time I visit one of your
Speaker 1: sets you've been going for a while, you all know
Speaker 1: each other, the thing is humming, and somebody, at least
Speaker 1: one person often more come over to me and say,
Speaker 1: your son is running a beautiful set here. We all
Speaker 1: love each other and we love him, and that's a
Speaker 1: beautiful thing. And that started with that director in high school. Yeah,
Speaker 1: mister Mullen, Yeah, yeah, shout out, mister Mullen. I bet
Speaker 1: you never thought, never thought you'd get a shout out,
Speaker 1: mister mullin. But mister Mullen, I don't know if you'll
Speaker 1: listen to the truthfully I'm not even I'm not even
Speaker 1: sure if he's still with us. But he was a
Speaker 1: wonderful teacher. And uh, and it was a great experience.
Speaker 1: Um wow, I wonder if any of my teachers listen
Speaker 1: to our podcast if you do. And you failed me,
Speaker 1: and you thought I wasn't going to amount to anything
Speaker 1: in your face so much? Yeah, and your face. I
Speaker 1: remember I had a teacher that my charms didn't work
Speaker 1: on her, and she she this was at the height
Speaker 1: of family ties, I think, and and I thought I
Speaker 1: thought I was I thought I was a little like
Speaker 1: Alex P. Keaton and and but this is so she
Speaker 1: she came. We were all waiting outside the class, and
Speaker 1: she showed up late. And I think I was like
Speaker 1: trying to be like a funny wise ass and I
Speaker 1: was like pointing to my watch, like and she turned
Speaker 1: to me and she said, Zach, I'm really not into
Speaker 1: the whole Alex P. Keaton thing. Oh I never forgot
Speaker 1: that that had to feel good. It hurt my feelings
Speaker 1: that I that she didn't think my Alex P. Keaton
Speaker 1: esque charm was charming. But I but, um, but I
Speaker 1: the fact that you, the fact that she knew that
Speaker 1: you were doing Alex P. Keaton without you being like
Speaker 1: I'm doing Alex P. Keaton. No, I mean I'm saying
Speaker 1: I try to be. That was silver lining right there.
Speaker 1: The silver line is freaking. I'm a genius actor because
Speaker 1: I impressionist, because I was playing a character and you
Speaker 1: picked up one it. Yes, you got what I was
Speaker 1: going with. Um, Um, wait what I was thinking about something?
Speaker 1: What are we talking about right before that? Um? We
Speaker 1: were talking about you? But yeah, I banked on Um,
Speaker 1: so mom, what was it like? No, but go go
Speaker 1: back to obviously, well, I wanted to talk about Scrubs. Um,
Speaker 1: you do you remember when I called you? You were
Speaker 1: I think you were the first call I made when
Speaker 1: I because when I after my sixth audition for Scrubs,
Speaker 1: I had a Motorola star Tech if you recall those,
Speaker 1: and I put it on the I had been told
Speaker 1: that I will know sooner, I know, probably today or tomorrow,
Speaker 1: and I put the Motorola star Tech I remember on
Speaker 1: the passenger seat of my Nissan two forty SX, and
Speaker 1: I just started driving on the one on one Freeway
Speaker 1: and my phone rang and it was I believe it
Speaker 1: was Bill Lawrence who said, I'm I'm not supposed to
Speaker 1: tell you because every other people want to tell you.
Speaker 1: But you got it, and I'm so excited, and I
Speaker 1: was freaking out, and I said, you know, I knew
Speaker 1: that you would be my first call. So do you
Speaker 1: do you remember that moment at all? You I do
Speaker 1: remember the call exactly, and I remember I didn't know
Speaker 1: about all the callbacks. I didn't know the process at all,
Speaker 1: because I think you were kind of holding back because
Speaker 1: it was very big, and I don't think you wanted
Speaker 1: to get us all excited, you know, yeah, and then
Speaker 1: be disappointed. Um, And there's nothing like that phone call
Speaker 1: when you got to tell your mom. I didn't get
Speaker 1: the part, so I'm sure you know. I know, I
Speaker 1: think I had turned, but with both of my parents,
Speaker 1: I think I'd got into a place. You know. I
Speaker 1: was waiting tables. I was in a lull, you know,
Speaker 1: being an actor, there's highs and lows at all stages.
Speaker 1: And at this stage, I had gotten some indies and
Speaker 1: I had gotten some stuff, but I was kind of
Speaker 1: at a lull. I was working as a waiter, and
Speaker 1: I didn't want them to get excited before there was
Speaker 1: any you know, so I would I would even if
Speaker 1: even when I was six auditions in, I was probably
Speaker 1: minimizing it because I didn't want to to point them
Speaker 1: you know, yes, yes, but it was very very exciting.
Speaker 1: And then what I think happened was that it grew
Speaker 1: on me. You know, I began to realize over a
Speaker 1: period of days and even weeks, what this was going
Speaker 1: to be the first season. You know, we didn't know,
Speaker 1: of course, that it would be many seasons. And then
Speaker 1: the you know, it started to do very well. You know,
Speaker 1: the ratings were extremely good, and it was exciting, very
Speaker 1: very exciting. And I remember bringing Sarah home. We were
Speaker 1: going to the upfronts, which we've talked about here a
Speaker 1: bunch of times, and Sarah came over to the house,
Speaker 1: and you everyone instantly fell in love with Sarah as
Speaker 1: you do in real life. And I remember at one point,
Speaker 1: you know, I had had girlfriends that weren't exactly helping
Speaker 1: around the house that much as as a mom would
Speaker 1: would like. And I remember Sarah was over just as
Speaker 1: a friend. But there she was at the kitchen sink
Speaker 1: doing dishes from dinner, and she called out, she was like,
Speaker 1: did anyone let the dog out? And my mom was like,
Speaker 1: I love her. I remember that. I remember Sarry doing
Speaker 1: the dishes and calling over the water, did anyone let
Speaker 1: the dog out? And my mom turning and be like,
Speaker 1: I love her, Oh my god, you can marry her
Speaker 1: right now. I know. Well she is. She is quite
Speaker 1: a catch, and and we we miss her. She's coming
Speaker 1: on the show a bunch, but we don't see it
Speaker 1: that much because she's in Canada. Well tell me about
Speaker 1: do you remember visiting set for the first time? What
Speaker 1: that was like? Yes, because it was like nothing I
Speaker 1: had ever done before in my life. You know, I'd
Speaker 1: never seen a set of that size and complexity. And
Speaker 1: wait pause, look who it is? She is, my sweetheart?
Speaker 1: Are you I'm good? How are you? I'm good. I'm good.
Speaker 1: It's wonderful to see your face. Well, thank you. I
Speaker 1: just took my anti aging face led man. Oh that's
Speaker 1: why you look fourteen. Yes, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1: It works in the closet and phones on. Yeah, Mom,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you know that. I know you
Speaker 1: listen to the show sometimes, but this is this is
Speaker 1: Donald's a home studio in their walking closet. I definitely
Speaker 1: know about the closet. This beautiful. Yeah, we always get
Speaker 1: to see when when when you've picked up the dry cleaning. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was actually thinking about it this morning. I was like,
Speaker 1: I need to redo the closet for this live show
Speaker 1: now that we have now that we have HD cameras, Wen,
Speaker 1: everything is more, everything's gonna be clearer. Oh god, that's
Speaker 1: so scary. We gotta figure something out this week. And
Speaker 1: congratulations so cute. I love looking at the online. They're
Speaker 1: just adorable. Oh they're ready to come visit you whenever
Speaker 1: you want. Oh that would be so good. Now this
Speaker 1: terrible time that we are all in and we can know.
Speaker 1: I know we miss you so much. We haven't seen
Speaker 1: you in so long. Last time we saw you was
Speaker 1: like zach birth, like a little bit after was It's
Speaker 1: it will it will have been over a year probably.
Speaker 1: My birthday is April sixth, coming up, those of you
Speaker 1: who want to shower me with presents, No, we know,
Speaker 1: we know everybody in your calendar a case on my
Speaker 1: calendar every year. All right, we gotta go because we
Speaker 1: will call you. Okay, I love you. Tell my mom
Speaker 1: that she's wonderful. I tell her all the time. I
Speaker 1: tell her on Instagram all the time. We liked each
Speaker 1: other from the first moment. Yes, always, because Casey's the
Speaker 1: kind of woman who'll say did anyone let the dog out?
Speaker 1: And now Casey won't say did anyone let the dog out?
Speaker 1: She was not she's not. I don't even know what
Speaker 1: that means. It wasn't there. Um, So we have a caller. Guys,
Speaker 1: we should go to break first. Let's go to go
Speaker 1: to break, and then we're gonna take a caller that
Speaker 1: Joelle found to ask my mom a question about talking
Speaker 1: to your children when you're going through a very shitty
Speaker 1: thing called the divorce. We'll be right back after these
Speaker 1: messages and any bay back by. All right, we're back.
Speaker 1: We're back. We're back back, and Joelle bringing the caller
Speaker 1: to answer the caller's question. Say hello to Chrissie Martel.
Speaker 1: Give it up for Christy Martei. Where is your thunderous applause? Chrissy,
Speaker 1: we're giving you thunderous applause. So excited. I this is
Speaker 1: like a dream come true. Oh you're very sweet. We're
Speaker 1: so happy that you're here and uh and that you're
Speaker 1: willing to come on and uh, so you've got you
Speaker 1: see Joelle and Daniel. Um, I don't know where the
Speaker 1: boxes are for you. That's Donald who you recognize. And
Speaker 1: that beautiful woman with the scarf is my mom. And hello,
Speaker 1: it's so I'm just honored to meet you. It's so exciting.
Speaker 1: That's amazing. Well, we're glad. How you. Where are you
Speaker 1: calling from, Chrissy, Aurora, Illinois, a western suburb of Chicago,
Speaker 1: Chicago in the house. Okay, I know why Joel got
Speaker 1: you on the line. Chicago natives stick together. You Illinois
Speaker 1: girls stick together. Yes, Illinois. If you if you're from
Speaker 1: Illinois and you write in, you're way more likely to
Speaker 1: get picked if you brag about loving Illinois in the subject.
Speaker 1: Just brag about that, or brag about Northwestern one or
Speaker 1: the other. Well, I don't read them, Joeleda, so you
Speaker 1: have to. Maybe you could say that you love rebels,
Speaker 1: you love Ganja, you love all things that Joel might enjoy. Ps. Five.
Speaker 1: Ganja's legal here now, so you know. Oh hello, welcome
Speaker 1: to the club, New Jersey too. By the way, um,
Speaker 1: all right, listen, Chrissy. We had you on because we
Speaker 1: have the gift of having a brilliant child psychologist here
Speaker 1: who's written a new book called The Fall Calling Down Time,
Speaker 1: which is aimed to help children roughly six to ten
Speaker 1: mom deal with helping helping parents talk to their children.
Speaker 1: And we had you on because I understand that you're
Speaker 1: going through a divorce and have children of this age,
Speaker 1: and we thought maybe you could ask my mom a
Speaker 1: question that would help facilitate more conversation for people that
Speaker 1: are in a similar place. So, so go ahead with
Speaker 1: your question. I would love to um, is it doctor Bradzynski? Yes,
Speaker 1: say and but please call me well and it's it's
Speaker 1: a pleasure. So yes, I am going through divorce. I
Speaker 1: am also a divorce attorney. So I was telling Joel,
Speaker 1: I'm going the DIY route representing myself. But you know,
Speaker 1: it's it is what it is. And this has been
Speaker 1: a tough year for a lot of parents, and a
Speaker 1: lot of parents of kids with special needs, which I
Speaker 1: happened to be. I have two children, ages four and
Speaker 1: a half and three. He's actually Oscar. He's going to
Speaker 1: be turning three on Tuesday. So they are a handful.
Speaker 1: They're awesome boys. They are autistic, and you know, it's
Speaker 1: just tough sometimes and so parenting can be difficult. But
Speaker 1: really what I care most about is them, and I
Speaker 1: think that's what I always tell my clients, the most
Speaker 1: important thing is the best interests of the children, making
Speaker 1: sure they're okay. And so my question is, you know,
Speaker 1: when I am with my boys and they're a little
Speaker 1: bit younger than your target audience, but as they grow,
Speaker 1: you know, these things will probably be important too. They're
Speaker 1: too young for this book, yeah, okay, Well when they
Speaker 1: get old enough for it, and just as they get
Speaker 1: old enough to maybe understand a little bit better about
Speaker 1: mom and dad not living in the same house anymore,
Speaker 1: you know, there will be a lot of questions. But
Speaker 1: the one thing that I really care about the most
Speaker 1: is just how they're feeling. And sometimes they'll be sad
Speaker 1: and I can't exactly understand why, And so I'm wondering
Speaker 1: should I ask them specifically, are you sad because Dad's
Speaker 1: not here? Or should I ask them why are you sad?
Speaker 1: You know, because I don't want to bring it up
Speaker 1: if it's not on their mind, But I also don't
Speaker 1: want to glaze over it if it is something that
Speaker 1: I should you address at any given time? Right, So,
Speaker 1: of course I don't know your children, and so I'm
Speaker 1: I'm answering in a kind of a global way, but
Speaker 1: you'll take from it whatever works for you and your kids.
Speaker 1: In general, it's safe to say knowing why a child
Speaker 1: is sad is less important than being a person who
Speaker 1: notices that they're sad. So, really, for your three year old,
Speaker 1: most three year rolls don't really know why they're sad
Speaker 1: unless something just happened, like someone took their toy or
Speaker 1: they dropped some food or whatever it is. They know
Speaker 1: about that sad. The larger issues which are in your
Speaker 1: case sadness certainly about the divorce and some grief probably
Speaker 1: as well. Three year olds feel, but they don't know
Speaker 1: how to tell you. They don't have the language to
Speaker 1: tell you. So the best thing to do if you
Speaker 1: sense that three year old is sad is to kind
Speaker 1: of maybe curl up in a nice cozy place and
Speaker 1: get the stuffed animal that's the favorite, and read a
Speaker 1: favorite book, maybe some food, some good food, and do
Speaker 1: a little snuggling and just kind of be together and
Speaker 1: make a plan for later rather than try to find out.
Speaker 1: What you're doing is really acting as though you know,
Speaker 1: and that is the most important thing in For your
Speaker 1: four year old, it's a little different four and a
Speaker 1: half year old, it's a little different. And again you'll
Speaker 1: judge this from your kids and whatever parts of autism
Speaker 1: are affecting them. But for four and a half year
Speaker 1: old you can be a little more explicit. But rather
Speaker 1: than say what are you sad about? One of the things,
Speaker 1: I like to do a lot of drawings with kids
Speaker 1: this age. They love to draw. So you can do
Speaker 1: what I call a temperature tower. It's just a simple line,
Speaker 1: a vertical line with one at the bottom and a
Speaker 1: hundred at the top, and you draw one for you,
Speaker 1: and you draw one for your child with their name
Speaker 1: at the top, and the temperature chart is how am
Speaker 1: I feeling right now? And you do yours first, and
Speaker 1: you say, well, I'm about a seven. I'm okay, but
Speaker 1: you know I might be a five. I don't know, sorry, mom.
Speaker 1: If you do, you mean one to one to ten
Speaker 1: or one to one hundred. Sorry I should have said
Speaker 1: one to ten doesn't matter. Yeah, But you so you're saying,
Speaker 1: if let's just let's stick with one to ten because
Speaker 1: that's where you started. So you're saying one to ten.
Speaker 1: So you say I'm a five or I'm a seven whatever,
Speaker 1: rather than even if you're a one, I wouldn't go
Speaker 1: there I would just sort of stay in the middle,
Speaker 1: but it gives the child that's listening to you an
Speaker 1: option to not be a ten. Now the child may
Speaker 1: say I'm a ten, and that's interesting. But if you've
Speaker 1: come through a little period of sadness and you sense something,
Speaker 1: you could say, okay, you're at ten. Wow, that's amazing.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm at ten, but I'm not always at ten.
Speaker 1: So it's a kind of a way that you're communicating
Speaker 1: together that you know that it isn't always okay, and
Speaker 1: you may get a conversation out of that from your
Speaker 1: four and a half year old, a little bit of conversation.
Speaker 1: You can also say, well, when I do such and such,
Speaker 1: I feel like a ten. And when I do this,
Speaker 1: I tend to feel down a little bit lower. Do
Speaker 1: you have any things that make you higher or lower?
Speaker 1: Another thing is what I call it frown box. So
Speaker 1: you don't say it's a sad box, but a frown
Speaker 1: box is any little box that you find and some
Speaker 1: objects they could be stones that aren't swallowable or whatever,
Speaker 1: and you take turns putting things in the box and
Speaker 1: you call them frowns, and you say what you're frowning about?
Speaker 1: So you participate in this as well, so that part
Speaker 1: of it is that the child feels that I'm a
Speaker 1: human being. I'm like my mom and I'm you know,
Speaker 1: if your husband, your exitent husband could do this too,
Speaker 1: it would be wonderful for them to share this with him,
Speaker 1: both the temperature towers and the frown box. So you
Speaker 1: get to see you're a child, but you get to
Speaker 1: see I'm not. There's nothing wrong with me that I
Speaker 1: have these feelings. I have these feelings with so to
Speaker 1: my mom and dad. Yeah. One of the most powerful
Speaker 1: things that I've shared with the listeners here, Mom, that
Speaker 1: you always said to me is um you know and
Speaker 1: I and I you said it to me as a child,
Speaker 1: and I think of it now when I'm forty about
Speaker 1: to turn forty six, which is you said I would
Speaker 1: share with you something that was upsetting me, and you go, well,
Speaker 1: of course that makes total sense. If you didn't feel
Speaker 1: that way, there'd be something wrong with you that when
Speaker 1: you're going through this X Y Z experience, If you
Speaker 1: didn't feel abc, there'd be something the matter with you.
Speaker 1: That was all you have. I found that you said.
Speaker 1: Since you said that, Zach, we've started doing that. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: that's all my mom. That's her, that's that's her specialty.
Speaker 1: Another thing I wanted to say, Mom, that you gave
Speaker 1: me that really helped me as a child. Um, there
Speaker 1: were these worried dolls. I don't know if they were.
Speaker 1: They a Mexican and they still sell them. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: sure you might find them on Amazon, just on the
Speaker 1: internet somewhere. I believe they're called Mexican worried dolls. And
Speaker 1: their their their their minuscule, they're they're about a centimeter
Speaker 1: high and then go in a little container. And what
Speaker 1: you do, is my mom, as my mom taught me,
Speaker 1: is for a worrying child. And I was a kid
Speaker 1: who worried a lot. As you teach each you tell
Speaker 1: each figure one of your worries, and you put them
Speaker 1: in the little canister next to your bed, and while
Speaker 1: you're sleeping, they work on your worries. So it's like
Speaker 1: the child can have their anxiety relieved because like, don't worry.
Speaker 1: These dolls are specifically meant to work. That's all they
Speaker 1: do as they work on worries. And I remember being
Speaker 1: a kid be like this is a big worry, So
Speaker 1: I would like talk to them. I'm like look, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna need six of you guys on this worry. I
Speaker 1: would I would totally like give them tasks and I'd
Speaker 1: be like, look, I need everybody, but you you're gonna
Speaker 1: you have a little small worry, but you guys are
Speaker 1: all on this main worry. And I really believed it,
Speaker 1: and um and took comfort in knowing that while I
Speaker 1: was sleeping, they'd be attacking the worry. It was awesome.
Speaker 1: They don't they don't take it away, but they work
Speaker 1: on it. Yeah, they work for you, and I love
Speaker 1: it for two reasons. In my household, Um, my boys
Speaker 1: are I'm white and my husband's met skin, so they
Speaker 1: would it would be great for them. I'm always trying
Speaker 1: to incorporate, you know, their culture, and that would be cool.
Speaker 1: But also, sleeping is tough just for us in general.
Speaker 1: Kids with autism are always up in the middle of
Speaker 1: the night and we're still working on that. But if
Speaker 1: that could be something that could help them stay in
Speaker 1: their own bed and stay you know, not have to
Speaker 1: because I'm a sandwich right now, I'll have both boys
Speaker 1: on either side of me and they just roll right
Speaker 1: into me. So I'm like trying to teach them to
Speaker 1: sleep in their own beds and stuff. And that's a
Speaker 1: great idea. I'm gonna look those up. Yeah, I got
Speaker 1: a lot. It was. It was I was so lucky
Speaker 1: to have a child psychologist mom, because she and people
Speaker 1: always joke with me over the years like, oh, because
Speaker 1: my stepfather was a psychologist and my stepmother's a therapist,
Speaker 1: and people are like, oh, were they always all analyzing you?
Speaker 1: And the truth is I didn't. I didn't feel that
Speaker 1: at all. I felt like I was really well listened to.
Speaker 1: They understood the importance of listening to the child and
Speaker 1: hearing what they have to say. And I always felt heard.
Speaker 1: And and so you want to men, we're never like
Speaker 1: in a room with a big mirror. Ever, what do
Speaker 1: you mean, like you you never ever we're in like
Speaker 1: a room you mean like a two way mirror where
Speaker 1: they were Thank goodness now no, but a right though,
Speaker 1: when you say stuff like that, that's the first thing
Speaker 1: you go to. It's like, wow, you had a lot
Speaker 1: of you had a lot of therapy and your yes. Yes.
Speaker 1: So my father in his later years, my father, in
Speaker 1: his later years taught a marriage counseling course with my stepmother.
Speaker 1: So then he got on the therapy therapy trained too.
Speaker 1: It was getting in from all sides. It's important. I mean,
Speaker 1: you can tell when you listen to this podcast that
Speaker 1: Zach especially you have had a lot of words of
Speaker 1: wisdom in your life because you have such empathy with
Speaker 1: everyone that you talked to. And I just think that
Speaker 1: that's one of the best parts about listening. I mean,
Speaker 1: I love the show, I love everything about it, but
Speaker 1: I will say, Anne, you raised a nice young man
Speaker 1: who is very pathetic to people and and kind, and
Speaker 1: I just think that it's so cool to listen and
Speaker 1: see that your two favorite actors are really good people
Speaker 1: and they're just fun talking to one another, and it's
Speaker 1: just so much fun listened. You're very sweet, Chrissy. I
Speaker 1: heard everything you just said. You said Zach is empathetic,
Speaker 1: and I'm not I heard you know. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm sure when when Chrissy's back on for your mom's show,
Speaker 1: she'll say the same thing about it. I am good
Speaker 1: with moms, so you know, no, I'm just kidding. I am.
Speaker 1: That means a lot to me, Chrissy. And yes, not
Speaker 1: only did I have empathetic therapists in my life, but
Speaker 1: I also was in therapy. We you know, there was
Speaker 1: no stigma in my family about going to therapy or
Speaker 1: seeking out new age things, whether it be books or courses.
Speaker 1: It was a very the environment was very open to
Speaker 1: working on yourself. You know. I know plenty of people listening,
Speaker 1: I'm sure their families were the opposite. There was something
Speaker 1: wrong with you if you were going with therapists, or
Speaker 1: there was something wrong with you if you're reading a
Speaker 1: self help book or or had interest in a workshop.
Speaker 1: So I'm very blessed that I had a family that
Speaker 1: was like, do it all, read everything, you know, take
Speaker 1: that wacky workshop where you're walking on goals or whatever
Speaker 1: it is. That's it. It's very interesting our parents kind
Speaker 1: of had the same type of not the same upbringing,
Speaker 1: but had a lot of the same interests. And so
Speaker 1: because of that, Zach and I have a very similar
Speaker 1: upbringing where we took workshops and you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: and therapy was wasn't looked at as something bad. You know, Um,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's it's really interesting. It's really that. I
Speaker 1: find that the most interesting about our friendship. It's like
Speaker 1: we were destined to meet, if you ask me, because
Speaker 1: a lot of the things that we went through as
Speaker 1: kids are just too similar. You know, It's just we
Speaker 1: have we learned that we both would sneak into the light.
Speaker 1: I told Donald mom on on the last show that
Speaker 1: I would sneak other kids were sneaking behind the school
Speaker 1: to smoke cigarettes. I would sneak into the school auditorium
Speaker 1: to play with the ancient lighting board. And Donald was like,
Speaker 1: I did too, but he did it because he was
Speaker 1: in the A V. Club. Man. I did it because
Speaker 1: I thought it was like, you know, I was freaking
Speaker 1: uh flying turn and turning everything into light speed? Right? Great? Um, well,
Speaker 1: I hope that that was helpful, Chrissy, um um. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't say fix your life, well, but I'm scared. No,
Speaker 1: we don't want to. We we don't. We're gonna this
Speaker 1: isn't fix your life segment, but definitely, um, get a copy.
Speaker 1: Do you want to fix your life? I actually had
Speaker 1: a just a quick question about it, But I am
Speaker 1: interested in the book too. Yeah, so get the book
Speaker 1: The Falling Down Time. Your kids are obviously a little
Speaker 1: young for it, but my clients kids will. But yeah,
Speaker 1: you're a diversity divorsity, but this should be on your
Speaker 1: coffee table in your office, for your for your for
Speaker 1: your clients falling down to tell them where I found it,
Speaker 1: and they'll just be like, what you are on that podcast?
Speaker 1: You know what? You can put a post it note
Speaker 1: on this on the coffee table in your in your
Speaker 1: waiting room. That says Zach Braff's mom wrote this awesome book,
Speaker 1: I love The Falling Down Time, which is on Amazon.
Speaker 1: Let's take a break. We'll be right back after these
Speaker 1: fine words. Okay, Donald is giving you a fix your
Speaker 1: life opportunity. I wasn't going to do it, but he's
Speaker 1: the co host. Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for Illinois's
Speaker 1: favorite segment. It's time to fix You're all right? Go ahead, Chrissy. Okay,
Speaker 1: well it's pretty simple. I am single, so I'm I'm
Speaker 1: just kind of ready to start dating. I know it
Speaker 1: sounds like you know people. Everyone does it at their
Speaker 1: own pace, whenever the time is right. Right for me,
Speaker 1: I'm feeling time is right I am. And I apologize
Speaker 1: to my ex if he's listening to this. Sorry, but
Speaker 1: he can date two go for whatever. I have two
Speaker 1: awesome kids and they are young, and well obviously we're
Speaker 1: a package deal. But I want to get to know
Speaker 1: someone for who they are. I want them to get
Speaker 1: to know me for who I am. You know, when
Speaker 1: is the right time to tell people about it? What
Speaker 1: do I? How do I approach this subject? I mean,
Speaker 1: I think Donald you would know, um, what it's like
Speaker 1: dating when you already have children and obviously finding someone
Speaker 1: that you want to be a companion with and then
Speaker 1: and then I am still open to having children some
Speaker 1: day m thirty two, so I have time and I
Speaker 1: would love to start a life with someone in that way.
Speaker 1: But also right now, I'm just looking to date two
Speaker 1: right that. That's normal and you should there's nothing wrong
Speaker 1: with that. Have you started? The obvious question that comes
Speaker 1: to mind is the apps? Have you tried? And you
Speaker 1: don't have to go on the Tinder of course, but
Speaker 1: like one of the more ones for relationships like match
Speaker 1: and such? Have you have you done any of that? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Funny enough, I met my husband on e harmony, so
Speaker 1: that one's out. Yeah, it doesn't stuck, So I, um,
Speaker 1: I did, Yeah, I looked at some of the apps
Speaker 1: I got on. I'm then I got off of that.
Speaker 1: I got on to bed and I'm like, I've talked
Speaker 1: to people. I will come on a couple dates. I
Speaker 1: just don't want to like rope somebody in and then
Speaker 1: be like, by the way, I have two kids. Well,
Speaker 1: I think in your match profile, you in your match
Speaker 1: if I was advising you as your dating advisor, I
Speaker 1: would not I would have your beautiful children in somewhere
Speaker 1: in your match profile, pictures of you happy with your kids,
Speaker 1: you know, So you're never misleading anyone. I'm I'm a
Speaker 1: mom of two. I mean, there's think how many people
Speaker 1: are out there dating with children. The kind of man
Speaker 1: you're going to be looking for is not someone who's
Speaker 1: going to be afraid of that, obviously. Yeah. I was
Speaker 1: gonna say if you're if you if you find somebody
Speaker 1: and you say I have kids and that's a deal
Speaker 1: break up for them, that wasn't the person for you anyway, right,
Speaker 1: So you know it's it's it's I don't think I
Speaker 1: don't think there is a scenario where you don't ort
Speaker 1: to where from the gate you should be telling people
Speaker 1: I'm a single mother. You know. Um, I think the
Speaker 1: more honest and open you are, you'll attract the type
Speaker 1: of person you're looking for, you know where. Uh So
Speaker 1: I wouldn't I wouldn't worry about I wouldn't worry about that.
Speaker 1: You'll also remove the anxiety um right away that oh
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be misleading and found out like no, you're
Speaker 1: being right up front, like don't don't come knocking if
Speaker 1: you're not interested in they'll still come knock. And trust me,
Speaker 1: yeah they still they'll still come knocking. Oh yeah, I've
Speaker 1: had a couple of Yeah. But you might also, I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, full disclosure, you might. You might want some
Speaker 1: fun and and just some fun dating. It might. It might.
Speaker 1: You might after being in a man orange and going
Speaker 1: through this divorce which doesn't sound which obviously is unpleasant,
Speaker 1: you know, give yourself license to date and have fun
Speaker 1: and maybe not necessarily go right for the guy who's
Speaker 1: maybe going to be your next husband and stepfather to
Speaker 1: your kids. You might want to have a little fun
Speaker 1: dating time with people that aren't necessarily father material, but
Speaker 1: fun fun. At the end of the day, you and
Speaker 1: if it does get to the point where it does
Speaker 1: become that serious, you could say, well, you know, I
Speaker 1: got into I wasn't I was I'm a divorced parent,
Speaker 1: I wasn't really looking for a relationship. Where we are
Speaker 1: now is where we are, and so I'm opening up
Speaker 1: more to you, but to be I was just trying
Speaker 1: to get out there and meet new people, to be
Speaker 1: honest with you, and you just so happy it just
Speaker 1: so happened to get serious with you. So if you
Speaker 1: want to keep it light, it's all right to keep
Speaker 1: it light too. It depends on what it is that
Speaker 1: you want to do. As Zach just said, if you're
Speaker 1: looking for another relationship, I would be as open as
Speaker 1: possible when letting you know, letting everyone know who you are,
Speaker 1: if that's what you want, because I always feel if
Speaker 1: you're withholding anything, then you're gonna always gonna have this
Speaker 1: anxiety in your head about oh what if? What if
Speaker 1: he finds out? So don't just let's just get rid
Speaker 1: of it right off the bat by being open with
Speaker 1: it in your profile of whatever dating site you're using.
Speaker 1: But if you're going out to have fun, who cares,
Speaker 1: it's none of that business. Yeah, you can have two profiles,
Speaker 1: my dating for a fun ROMP profile with no kids,
Speaker 1: and then your relationship profile with kids. Mom, what do
Speaker 1: you think of me? And Donald's pop psychology? Are we
Speaker 1: doing a good job? You're terrific. I wouldn't add anything. Oh,
Speaker 1: there you go. I never in a million years thought
Speaker 1: I would get dating advice from the Zach Breath. Well,
Speaker 1: we give great advice, and we we're just PhD approved
Speaker 1: by my mom to give counseling. So there you go, Joel.
Speaker 1: Joel's out on the dating market. Do you have any
Speaker 1: tips for um? No? Thatll sounded really good to me.
Speaker 1: Just being honest and upfront and you know, have fun.
Speaker 1: Dating should be fun. So Joel's about to go on
Speaker 1: two dates in front of a lot lot of people
Speaker 1: the live show. Christie, are you going to join us
Speaker 1: for the live show? I got my ticket? I'm mom?
Speaker 1: Are you joining us from the live show? Do you
Speaker 1: even know about it? Absolutely? All right, Friday, everyone listens.
Speaker 1: A mom doesn't know about the live show? I get
Speaker 1: your mom on board. Donald, Now, mom, do you do
Speaker 1: you still listen regularly? Be honest, it's okay if you're
Speaker 1: not fully up to date, listen intermittently. Okay, Well, I
Speaker 1: want to tell you something. When Donald and I started
Speaker 1: this podcast, Chrissy, we made a joke saying a handful
Speaker 1: of Scrubs fans to listen and maybe our moms. Turns
Speaker 1: out both of our moms have checked out for the
Speaker 1: long haul. It's become a global sensation. But our mom's
Speaker 1: then know you well enough that this is not exciting
Speaker 1: for them. But for us, it's like we're getting to
Speaker 1: know you and like know who you are. It's oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, it's fascinating. And I was just you know,
Speaker 1: I'm such a diehard that everybody comes on here and
Speaker 1: they say, oh, I don't like season nine. I liked it. Subs,
Speaker 1: Let me ask you a question. When's the last time
Speaker 1: you watch season nine? Well? And how many times? And
Speaker 1: how many times did you watch season? More importantly, Chrissy,
Speaker 1: what are your feelings on the soundboard? You are you
Speaker 1: pro sound no soundboard? You are no soundboard? Christie? No
Speaker 1: let her answer no? Ye? What are your thoughts on
Speaker 1: you like it? Yes? A lot of people do. Casey,
Speaker 1: what are your thoughts on the soundboard? Oh? Well, that
Speaker 1: was me. I was talking about the soundboard. You asked
Speaker 1: for it. You asked for it. Where are you going?
Speaker 1: You asked? Ohh no, he has to go get mom.
Speaker 1: This is a new thing. He likes to bring Casey
Speaker 1: on the show multiple times. You know what it is.
Speaker 1: He's so obsessed with his wife that he can't spend
Speaker 1: an hour away from her, so we have to go
Speaker 1: get her. I'm looking for I want you, and she's
Speaker 1: I know both women and both single women are like,
Speaker 1: that's what I want. Where is he go? He's he literally, mom,
Speaker 1: he can't do an hour podcast. I'm going to get
Speaker 1: Casey saying stuff. And so now he's using the soundboard.
Speaker 1: He got his mom and a collar on, and he's
Speaker 1: saying some really mean things. Well, I don't know, no
Speaker 1: what No, I assure you he is not Casey. He's
Speaker 1: just he's being crazy. Yes, he is. We know that
Speaker 1: he is. What I'm like, what is the soundboard that? No, Casey,
Speaker 1: I recorded this. Listen, okay, Zacha love you, Zacha love you, Zach,
Speaker 1: I love you, and I sometimes play it when I
Speaker 1: feel I need to hear hear your voice. Dude, do
Speaker 1: my show as you should, let her hear. Oh, and
Speaker 1: here's Donald wu tank forever. And here's Donald. Here's the
Speaker 1: other one. Do or do not? There is no try.
Speaker 1: Oh and here's Donald's favorite sound Casey. Oh god, he
Speaker 1: come on, Casey, with all due respect, we got to
Speaker 1: wrap the show up. I'm not I'm not the one
Speaker 1: I know your husband who it is obsessed with you?
Speaker 1: Howd you go get you when it's in here? Now?
Speaker 1: My good ZAA love you? No, no, I love that woman.
Speaker 1: I love that woman for the listeners. I love that one.
Speaker 1: That was not that last one was not the board listeners.
Speaker 1: That was her. Hey, Donald, I gotta tell you while
Speaker 1: you're getting Casey and I mean, I said to the audience,
Speaker 1: who and my mom would go, God, this guy is
Speaker 1: so obsessed with his wife he can't be without her
Speaker 1: for an hour, And both single women went, that's what
Speaker 1: I want. I feel husband material. I want. I want
Speaker 1: a relationship that's like Turk and Carla. You know they're
Speaker 1: just so real another they're so in love. But then
Speaker 1: I also love how JD and Elliott. He says at
Speaker 1: the end, Elliott, you're my dream woman love. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean for that to happen, you gotta be either
Speaker 1: Turk or Carla. You know what relationships like that are
Speaker 1: on television. The real relationships are going to have ups
Speaker 1: and down. Turkey call and never really had ups and downs? Man,
Speaker 1: there they're ups and down. Was what what are we
Speaker 1: gonna name? Is he? You know what I mean? Or
Speaker 1: you know, like television relationships are meant to be just that,
Speaker 1: to uplift you and to want you to experience love
Speaker 1: like that. But you know what about I mean Bill Lawrence,
Speaker 1: I would say to his credit, I would say, he
Speaker 1: put in storylines about divorced people, and now he has
Speaker 1: ted Lasso and and and I think those things are
Speaker 1: important too, because when you're watching things, you kind of
Speaker 1: want to see scenarios that play out that you you know,
Speaker 1: what would you do in that situation or who's you know,
Speaker 1: But on TV, it just seems like they always end
Speaker 1: up you know, it always ends up the right way
Speaker 1: on television. You know, that's the that's the only thing.
Speaker 1: Like me personally, I wanted to I wanted movie. I
Speaker 1: wanted to be in relationships like in the movies I
Speaker 1: saw like sixteen Candles and or The Breakfast Club and
Speaker 1: or you know, those were ideal to me. And I
Speaker 1: tried really hard, over and over again to find that.
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna tell you something right now, it's only
Speaker 1: in the movies, man like. And then if I found
Speaker 1: something that was close to it, I really didn't want it.
Speaker 1: You know, all the movies don't always reflect how difficult
Speaker 1: it is. And how much work a healthy relationship takes.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of work. So what you see me
Speaker 1: and my wife do is I mean, it's our stick
Speaker 1: and we we've perfected it. But you know, I want
Speaker 1: all the listeners out there to know that you get
Speaker 1: the show. You know what I mean? Yeah, but you
Speaker 1: are I will say this about you. Of course you're
Speaker 1: a normal couple that go through your hard times in
Speaker 1: your arguments, but I will say that you are a
Speaker 1: very doting, loving husband. You give her a lot of love. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Have you seen my wife? Yeah, she's a knockout. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm saying, man, all right, appreciate that. I don't appreciate it.
Speaker 1: We'll get Florence on here going, don't I love you? Um?
Speaker 1: All right, guys, Chrissy, thank you for coming on. We
Speaker 1: really appreciate it. And good luck with your with with
Speaker 1: all that's going on in your life. Thank you so much. This,
Speaker 1: like I said, it was a dream come true. And
Speaker 1: good luck to you. I guess I'll see at the
Speaker 1: live show. So excited. Listen if you if you can
Speaker 1: get on the chat or if you want to shout
Speaker 1: out Joel or something like that, do it. Maybe we'll
Speaker 1: maybe we'll get you on a live show too. Well,
Speaker 1: we don't know, we don't know. Oh my gosh, Oh
Speaker 1: all right, Christy, thank you, I love you, Bye guys,
Speaker 1: Bye bye hie. Here's the take care. Um. Well that's
Speaker 1: our show, guys, um Um, don't forget to pick up
Speaker 1: the falling downtime. If you're someone who's going through a
Speaker 1: divorce and need to talk to your children, or if
Speaker 1: someone in your life is going through that situation, it's
Speaker 1: available on Amazon. And my mom's other book about adoption
Speaker 1: if if you're have an adopted child as a beautiful,
Speaker 1: beutiful book, Um, the addresses the subject of the birth
Speaker 1: mother to the child, and that's called The Mulbray Bird,
Speaker 1: also available on Amazon. Mom, did you have fun? I
Speaker 1: had a lot of fun. Thank you for giving me chance.
Speaker 1: It was terrific. Well, I love you very much. I
Speaker 1: love you too. The live show and I love you
Speaker 1: Donald um and everyone, so please join us. Our next
Speaker 1: show is the live show. We'll be watching my quarantine,
Speaker 1: all sorts of fun, all sorts of adventures. You'll be
Speaker 1: seeing us with our new fancy webcams that that we bought,
Speaker 1: and um lots of guest appearances and fun and laughter,
Speaker 1: Right Tank, forever, all right, count us out, Donald six seven,
Speaker 1: eight stories about show we made, about a bunch of
Speaker 1: doctor nurses, and stories so here