Speaker 1: Hello Internet, and welcome to Season to sixty one, episode
Speaker 1: five of the Dailies. Like Guy said, it's a production
Speaker 1: of My Heart Radio. This is also that second rate
Speaker 1: podcast where we take a deep dive into America's shared consciousness.
Speaker 1: It's Friday, November four two, which just letting you know
Speaker 1: it's a National Candy Day, which seems like a missed
Speaker 1: opportunity because it would be like Halloween anyway, and National
Speaker 1: Jersey Friday. I don't know what that means. I hope
Speaker 1: that's something that. Oh it means if you, hey, look,
Speaker 1: if you'd like to rock a jersey like I do. Look,
Speaker 1: I got many jersey back here. You know that already.
Speaker 1: I guess rock a sports jersey. I'm Miles Gray. A
Speaker 1: k A excuse me. I have to have to warm
Speaker 1: myself up for this, a K. I can't just pop
Speaker 1: into it. Here we go. You got a lot of guns,
Speaker 1: got a lot of sense. Ceo me. I gotta roll
Speaker 1: this one up. I gotta roll this one up. I
Speaker 1: gotta burn one down. Faded. Okay. Shout out to Melisson
Speaker 1: on the scored who had us with that? Beyonce heated,
Speaker 1: uh thematic a k A, yes, you're right, I did
Speaker 1: feel that got a burn one down faded. It's a
Speaker 1: new remix and I am thrilled to be joined by
Speaker 1: my guest co host today. Uh. You know this is
Speaker 1: somebody who's always on the scene because they helped make
Speaker 1: this show. It's none other than super producer Bega Rambo's Ramo,
Speaker 1: Hello Helloa. That was beautiful, Miles. I. You know, every
Speaker 1: time I'm on it's very last minute, so I don't
Speaker 1: have a case prepared, but I will say I very
Speaker 1: recently went through every song of Beyonce's Renaissance through the
Speaker 1: lyrics with my my girls. We probably maybe every other
Speaker 1: week just have a listening party of Renaissance specifically. So
Speaker 1: this time though, we got the official record, you know,
Speaker 1: she she bought the yeah, the merge, and we went through.
Speaker 1: It has a beautiful art board, you know, lots of
Speaker 1: you know, every uh lyric page has like part that
Speaker 1: we've never seen before that's exclusive to the record. But
Speaker 1: I learned a lot of things I didn't realize. We're
Speaker 1: being said, Oh really, what was the most surprised What
Speaker 1: was like the one lyric that you're like, Oh, I
Speaker 1: feel like just in general, the suns were a lot
Speaker 1: of dirtier than I realized. You know, you just kind
Speaker 1: of hear them. I mean I've like consciously and unconsciously
Speaker 1: listen to this album a million times and just like vibes,
Speaker 1: but when you're really listening to lyrics, were like okay,
Speaker 1: getting down, yeah, getting dirty. Well, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for joining me today, and without further ado, I mean,
Speaker 1: we have to introduce our guest today. You might know
Speaker 1: her from I don't know CNBC when she's a national
Speaker 1: television host, amongst other places. Maybe you read some of
Speaker 1: her advice from the advice columns that she's done. Maybe
Speaker 1: you read some of her book. Maybe you know her
Speaker 1: as the media entrepreneur that all of us tried to
Speaker 1: aspire to be. Or maybe you heard about her fantastic
Speaker 1: new memoir that just d call Why didn't you tell me?
Speaker 1: Please welcome Carmen Rida Wong who listen in. I'm so
Speaker 1: excited to be here with you, guys, Miles and Becca.
Speaker 1: I let's go, let's let's do this. Let's good to
Speaker 1: have you. Good to have you, thank you for having me,
Speaker 1: Thank you absolutely absolutely. Where are you coming to us from?
Speaker 1: H y C Man? Okay, how's the how's the weather
Speaker 1: in New York right now. Oh yeah, that's the beautiful usual.
Speaker 1: It's it's weirdly, it's weirdly warmish. It's weird warmish, and
Speaker 1: I don't like it because I want to wear my coats.
Speaker 1: It is truly kind of like you're like a global
Speaker 1: warmers coming because it's not this war November. No, it's not.
Speaker 1: And I'm really getting frustrated because I'm like any of
Speaker 1: my coats. Like that's the whole thing about living in
Speaker 1: a place that has all the you know, the seasons. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you gotta you have wardrobes for every season. And I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I say, yeah, I say this a lot being in
Speaker 1: l A. We have none. So when when it's when
Speaker 1: they're a coat opportunity, I'm right, you mean you mean
Speaker 1: you mean when it's sixty five degrees? Yes, you know, Hi,
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to get frost bite breeze when it's
Speaker 1: below seven d the bubble goose comes north face on.
Speaker 1: Tim's on. Okay, everybody, they're like what is wrong with this, dude?
Speaker 1: But you also look at like the weather too, and
Speaker 1: like d C. It's like in the mid seventies, Like
Speaker 1: last night, I was time They're like, right now, that's
Speaker 1: not right. This is not right. It's November. This is wrong.
Speaker 1: Hey yeah, I guess that's what happens. But yeah, like
Speaker 1: that's not because I know. The more I look at
Speaker 1: like l A is like you know, raining and my
Speaker 1: power went out. It was like raining so hard where
Speaker 1: I live? What the fun is going? Yeah, yesterday? And
Speaker 1: I was always thinking, I'm like, what if Man Global
Speaker 1: Warrings is turned like l A into the new like
Speaker 1: London and it was just all like gray, It'd be hey, yeah,
Speaker 1: and you know we're a jacket. I don't give a ship.
Speaker 1: You know what it is, what it is. Yes, thank
Speaker 1: you so much for joining us. Fantastic to have you
Speaker 1: been going through your book. It's amazing and I think
Speaker 1: you know before we will talk about it, but I
Speaker 1: think it's just such a like great depiction of like
Speaker 1: the American experience and just navigating that as well as
Speaker 1: like mother daughter relationships and things like that. So it's
Speaker 1: goot fucking something for everybody, and its like on you
Speaker 1: before it's a page turn. I thought I was like
Speaker 1: like watching an episode of Lost or something. I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, it's the biggest compliment I love it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: let me keep you up at night with that. Yeah, yeah, right,
Speaker 1: like who is her father happening? What happen? Yes? Absolutely,
Speaker 1: But before we get into all that, I want to
Speaker 1: tell everybody what we're gonna talk about today. First, we're
Speaker 1: just gonna go after the GOP s I guess new
Speaker 1: priority after they take power. When they take power, they
Speaker 1: say they're going after woke capitalism and woke companies. Well,
Speaker 1: we'll try and determine what that means because it's a
Speaker 1: little bit all over the place and just generally, you know,
Speaker 1: a lot of how you know, a lot of the
Speaker 1: anger and part is hyper partisanship we're experiencing has been
Speaker 1: a long running theme in the country. But you know,
Speaker 1: just looking at especially after Obama was elected, like really
Speaker 1: kicked off a new wave of like anxiety in white
Speaker 1: Americans in the status quo that we seem to still
Speaker 1: be uh having to reckon with. And then we're going
Speaker 1: to talk about how a teenager made a fucked up
Speaker 1: doodle for a new I voted sticker and it's maybe
Speaker 1: going to save democracy. Take that with a grain of salt,
Speaker 1: but I will say it's it's it's kind of cool.
Speaker 1: It's kind of cool, like you miss the pun miles
Speaker 1: to say it's maybe gonna stick. That's good, Okay, you
Speaker 1: know what, Okay, justin okay, edit that out and then
Speaker 1: let me take that again for sure. Thank you, thank
Speaker 1: you for for catching me. Sometimes I am lacking. But
Speaker 1: please do that in the chat. Oh please. I didn't
Speaker 1: think about it either. We're playing, We're we're playing. But Carmen, first,
Speaker 1: before you get into any of that, we have to
Speaker 1: ask you, our esteemed gast, what is something from your
Speaker 1: search history that is a little revealing about who you are,
Speaker 1: what you're into right now? Okay, what I'm into is
Speaker 1: you know, it's Native American History month, right And just coincidentally,
Speaker 1: I I listened this morning to an interview with Ramona Emerson,
Speaker 1: so I googled her and she has a book called Shutter,
Speaker 1: as in like a camera Shutter, and she's remember the
Speaker 1: Navajo Nation, Denay, and she's a forensic photographer so you know,
Speaker 1: crime scenes and all that stuff. So it started as
Speaker 1: a memoir and she turned it into a ghost thriller.
Speaker 1: So that was great. But I'll tell you what I
Speaker 1: did right before, literally in the seconds before I got
Speaker 1: on with you guys, I had the very unfortunate experience
Speaker 1: of having to fact check something that I saw on
Speaker 1: Twitter that broke my heart and got me angry. It
Speaker 1: has to do with Rihanna and she's having I can't
Speaker 1: even say it is it true or not? Because I
Speaker 1: did not I google. Yes, I did, and you know
Speaker 1: I went and I had to go right it because
Speaker 1: let me tell you something, really, you know, my friends,
Speaker 1: she's my wife. That's my wife right there, and um
Speaker 1: no longer. We are now officially divorced and experienas no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1: I want my girl back. Who said I'm not doing
Speaker 1: the super Bowl, the super Bowl that was she was
Speaker 1: going to do the super Bowl that it was? I did.
Speaker 1: I saw that. I was disappointed with that. I was
Speaker 1: disappointed with that. And it's rock Nation. It's rock Nation,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? If she wasn't with rock Nation.
Speaker 1: The Power and jay Z is like proximity, but I
Speaker 1: feel like having like if you're with jay and he's
Speaker 1: so close to the NFL, like he could probably frame
Speaker 1: it to you be like no, you know they're doing
Speaker 1: stuff is yeah blah blah blah. You know they like
Speaker 1: cap Rot for years yea, and yeah, so yes, that
Speaker 1: was what I just like right before we got on
Speaker 1: because I just couldn't not believe it. For those who
Speaker 1: aren't aware, it was. Yeah, it's like reported that Rihanna
Speaker 1: is gonna have Johnny Depp like at the fenty fashion show, right,
Speaker 1: oh God like like like as part of such a
Speaker 1: confusing choice, like for what I have no idea, like
Speaker 1: I you know, it's like the rehabilitation tour. But you know,
Speaker 1: of all the people Rihanna, that's what history history with
Speaker 1: DV right, why why? Like so you know, I didn't
Speaker 1: even want to talk about it for frankly models, you know,
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't well know what it is is
Speaker 1: the fans, the people or the mob or whatever is
Speaker 1: just horrifying to me. And because you know, why turn
Speaker 1: that on yourself off? Right? Yeah, but it's my re
Speaker 1: re I'm really sad she's gone. Hey, I'm holding out
Speaker 1: for it to be a Game of Thrones type like
Speaker 1: twisted revenge things she's doing. She's like, yeah, come to
Speaker 1: my fashion show, Like no, no, my thing is like
Speaker 1: don't even you know what the best the best revenge
Speaker 1: is you're gone. Yeah, that's the best revenge, Like you're gone,
Speaker 1: don't even think about you. Yeah. Sorry, Oh I'm disappointed.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm Dominican mom disappointed, Dominican mom disappointed.
Speaker 1: That's what is something that you think is overrated. Let's
Speaker 1: get series for a second. Uh, forgiveness, it's overrated. It's overrated. Now,
Speaker 1: of course we're talking about that. Let me talk about
Speaker 1: for a second. Okay, here's what I'm saying. People are pressured,
Speaker 1: We're pressured. We feel pressured to forgive. Right, give it's
Speaker 1: got the word given it. It's not gonna happen unless
Speaker 1: you apologize for real, not I'm sorry, but not I'm
Speaker 1: sorry if not, but really acknowledge it and change your behavior.
Speaker 1: If it doesn't happen, then it's not gonna happen. And
Speaker 1: that's fine. You can find peace without forgiveness, you can, absolutely.
Speaker 1: But I do think it's really overrated, right because that's
Speaker 1: someone someone that has committed the transgression is seeking for
Speaker 1: right and this is the person, this is the person
Speaker 1: that's like done the damage to you and now you
Speaker 1: have to do something for them. Well in that case,
Speaker 1: and of course i'm being you know, as I'm being
Speaker 1: interviewed about the book, a lot this comes up a lot,
Speaker 1: and people are like, oh my god, when I say no,
Speaker 1: don't you forgive your mom? And I'm like no, and oh,
Speaker 1: you know what, it's like a hord give me a break.
Speaker 1: People might not understan like just sort of know broadly
Speaker 1: what your book is about in that, like, you know,
Speaker 1: your mother passed away around eighteen nineteen years ago, right, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: And and from then you've had this sort of ongoing
Speaker 1: sort of family mystery, emily history mystery that you've been
Speaker 1: trying to deal with. And throughout this whole process you've
Speaker 1: realized there there have just been like you, As your
Speaker 1: book says, why didn't you tell me? Yeah? Yeah, very much.
Speaker 1: So now listen, my thing was I was looking to
Speaker 1: understand her as a person. And but when you grow up,
Speaker 1: you know you're the first person people you're supposed to
Speaker 1: trust her your parents, right, and you're supposed to be
Speaker 1: able to trust that at least some of the big
Speaker 1: truths in your life, you know, like where you came from?
Speaker 1: How about that? But then also to compound it, as
Speaker 1: she was dying and I found out that, you know,
Speaker 1: my father wasn't my father, she told me another story
Speaker 1: about another guy m And then I find out later
Speaker 1: that that's not truly that it like hot mess, Mama,
Speaker 1: hot mess. So for me it was like how do
Speaker 1: I understand and find peace? Sure? But people really are
Speaker 1: just like they throw around this word forgive, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: forgiveness is earned, man is earned. You have to earn
Speaker 1: it from from for me and from anybody. And I
Speaker 1: think that if you really got to have that self
Speaker 1: respect because someone hurts you, why are you giving them
Speaker 1: more unless they've changed their behavior and they absolutely apologize
Speaker 1: acknowledging your pain. Right, you accidentally bump into somebody in
Speaker 1: the elevator walking like you stop and it's hard, right,
Speaker 1: and you stop and you go, oh my god, are
Speaker 1: you okay? I'm so sorry? Are you okay? Right? But
Speaker 1: you're sorry and you say are you okay? Like you
Speaker 1: make sure the persons okay, what can you do to
Speaker 1: make them feel better? Let's go sit down, let's check
Speaker 1: it out. Blah blah blah. Someone cannot do that to you,
Speaker 1: then forgiveness it's not theirs, But you can still find
Speaker 1: peace because guess what, they're just people and just like
Speaker 1: my you know, my mother and my father's and their
Speaker 1: decisions and choices they made it's so helpful to just
Speaker 1: see them as like random, like people who had babies,
Speaker 1: because you really think about people that way, even if
Speaker 1: it's like an x or like someone had a relationship
Speaker 1: someone really hurts you, a friend or something. If you
Speaker 1: just think of those like people who do things, it
Speaker 1: helps you really kind of detach it from you and
Speaker 1: not take it so personally and be like, no, they
Speaker 1: did it because of their ship. Yeah, there are people
Speaker 1: who are traumatized and you cannot let that affect you,
Speaker 1: you know, you have to. I mean, look, it hurts,
Speaker 1: but it hurts, but it helps to understand and have
Speaker 1: empathy for them, especially you know, for a lot of us,
Speaker 1: our parents, you know, if you're immigrant parents or other kinds,
Speaker 1: they come through you know, trauma, really bad stuff. And
Speaker 1: so once you see that, I mean, you know, you
Speaker 1: just want to stop that cycle. And you can't do
Speaker 1: that unless you let go of the anger. Yeah. And
Speaker 1: so many parents who have been through really terrible shit,
Speaker 1: like in their pursuit of trying to break certain cycles
Speaker 1: for their kids, you know, so much ship gets sucked
Speaker 1: up there too. Achievement, right, achievement. Yeah, So that's the
Speaker 1: thing is that they try to stop one thing from
Speaker 1: the generation to generation. They try to stop poverty or whatever,
Speaker 1: and then they focus on achievement, but then they torture
Speaker 1: you in other ways and create another mess. So, you know,
Speaker 1: generation and generation, we're just trying to clean it up.
Speaker 1: But part of what helps cleaning it up is figuring
Speaker 1: out why they did what they did. Yeah, I think, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think what's overrated is the concept of what forgiveness
Speaker 1: means for another person. But I think what the most
Speaker 1: most potent form of forgiveness I think is the kind
Speaker 1: you direct towards yourself. Yeah, because I think a lot
Speaker 1: of people don't understand that that we a lot of
Speaker 1: us look at our own behavior and say, why the funk?
Speaker 1: How did you? How could you be so yes again, yes,
Speaker 1: yes day? Why do you keep letting this ship happen?
Speaker 1: Or I can't believe you fucking said that? Whatever? But
Speaker 1: whatever that is, you have to realize all that anger
Speaker 1: or whatever, that that chaos is actually you not extending
Speaker 1: a sense of forgiveness to yourself, and how potent that
Speaker 1: version is of put your hand on your own heart
Speaker 1: and say, yo, you're a human. You know you're making mistakes,
Speaker 1: but you like work through that and I think that's
Speaker 1: I think that's that's a dimension of forgiveness I've slept
Speaker 1: on personally, is like the idea of so many times
Speaker 1: I get angsty or anxious about things that like I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh man, that was stupid, Like I could have done.
Speaker 1: I wish I'm better at something. I gotta say, hey, man, child, forget.
Speaker 1: You know, as my therapist says, be kind to yourself. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: be kind to yourself. Yes, talk that you'd give the
Speaker 1: homie when they come to you with their problems, to yourself,
Speaker 1: because it's clear that you're able to treat treat ourselves nice. Man.
Speaker 1: You know, what's something that you think is underrated? Karmen?
Speaker 1: You know I thought about this question, Miles. Look at me.
Speaker 1: I'm a brown woman. I'm a brown woman. Okay, what's underrated? Me?
Speaker 1: What's what's what's that? Me? Okay? My whole life, me,
Speaker 1: my whole freaking life. And I'll say all other black
Speaker 1: and brown women underrated, underappreciated, underthought of, under everything, because
Speaker 1: I tell you, even just yesterday, I was in the
Speaker 1: Apple store and this young man I go up to
Speaker 1: him and I'm like, oh, I need a new phone,
Speaker 1: blah blah, blah, black screen of death, blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: And this man he's just treating me. It's so dismissive,
Speaker 1: so dismissive, until he's like, well, why don't you just
Speaker 1: look up your receipts from the store to see when's
Speaker 1: the last time you bought? And I scroll in and
Speaker 1: I'm scrolling receipts and this, Oh, I didn't realize that,
Speaker 1: like you bought so much here, like you know, just
Speaker 1: a stupid ship, because of course I don't. I'm not
Speaker 1: the color and the type and this and that. The
Speaker 1: other thing happens constantly. It's that thing of where and Becca,
Speaker 1: you know, you walk out the door in your skin,
Speaker 1: in your race and in your gender and how you appear,
Speaker 1: and that hits you in the face in many, many spaces.
Speaker 1: And so I think we still do underrate are women
Speaker 1: of color and black and brown women for real happens
Speaker 1: on the daily. And there's also, of course, there's an
Speaker 1: urge to whose squatch it? Because as you know, Becca,
Speaker 1: we are so good. We are right now. The biggest
Speaker 1: transaction I've been saying that's been working me so crazy
Speaker 1: is that, like the Internet is trying to make Hayleie
Speaker 1: Bieber and it girl. I've been annoyed since day one.
Speaker 1: She's literally does a nepotism baby with no talent and
Speaker 1: Bieber sands come for me. But she has been doing
Speaker 1: this like brown lip class car. I was just gonna
Speaker 1: it's like the clean So literally all of us have
Speaker 1: been wearing real gold and I you know, I'm sure
Speaker 1: the girl is on the internet a lot of it's not.
Speaker 1: It's like these are gold that's passed down all my
Speaker 1: girls passed down and the makeup that they we wear
Speaker 1: the clean look is because we couldn't afford a lot
Speaker 1: of makeup or makeup didn't come in our colors that
Speaker 1: we couldn't get. So we're buying brown lip or eat
Speaker 1: eyeliner to use as lipliner to make a lip glass
Speaker 1: because they don't have anything in our shades. So I'm
Speaker 1: just like whatever, this brown like new look for fall.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, this is some think my mom has
Speaker 1: worn iconically for years, Like yes, yes, And that's the
Speaker 1: thing is that we get this were simultaneously underrated and
Speaker 1: stolen from because we produced the good ship, right, So
Speaker 1: it's like it's that simul No, we want what you
Speaker 1: got but but you know you stay over here. We
Speaker 1: also think you're a doctor's office saying that you got
Speaker 1: Oh my god, let me tell you. I had just
Speaker 1: search for doctors like the dismissiveness that they give you
Speaker 1: when you walk in the office when your problem is
Speaker 1: just it's actually causes death. Yeah right, it kills women,
Speaker 1: so that we are underrated. Look, I gave you something
Speaker 1: like so serious. Meanwhile, like you know what's underrated? What's underrated?
Speaker 1: The brown lip I got an I got a little
Speaker 1: bit of it going on myself. Yeah, a little bit,
Speaker 1: a little bit. Yeah, yeah, let's make a peppy miles.
Speaker 1: Let's get looks. Give you a question. I just I
Speaker 1: just went through this with a family member, you know,
Speaker 1: like just terrible medical care, and it really made me think.
Speaker 1: I'm like, is there like a top forty for doctors,
Speaker 1: Like because there's you see so many things and there's reviews, right,
Speaker 1: you could be like, oh this doctor reviews, but there
Speaker 1: are good doctors. Yeah, Like and I'm just like I'm like,
Speaker 1: where's the what's like the Michelin Guide? So you know,
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, these motherfucker's won't dismiss you, like if
Speaker 1: you're saying something's wrong, because I mean not just I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to paint the entire medical industry with one brush,
Speaker 1: because I know people myself were very dedicated to what
Speaker 1: they do, but I know there are also so many
Speaker 1: people who slipped through the cracks that it's like half
Speaker 1: the time I feel like I'm I'll pick a just
Speaker 1: a doctor because who's closest, and then and your insurance
Speaker 1: covertly that's the thing, and that's why people have to
Speaker 1: go to certain doctors, you know, and there's like, oh,
Speaker 1: how come he didn't get all this blood working blah
Speaker 1: blah blah done. I'm like, I don't know. I'm not
Speaker 1: a fucking doctor. I just went to this motherfucker and
Speaker 1: they said it was all good. Well you're saying what now, Like, listen,
Speaker 1: I've been in the doctor's office. My daughter's long COVID,
Speaker 1: so we have any doctors and sometimes you know, she's
Speaker 1: she's a sass sassafras like her mama. And sometimes we'll
Speaker 1: leave and she'll be like that guy was an asshole
Speaker 1: or that woman. Did you see the way she didn't
Speaker 1: talk to me, she didn't look at me, she just
Speaker 1: looked at you, like I'm not a person blah blah blah,
Speaker 1: And I say, I say, here's what you gotta understand.
Speaker 1: Just like I just said about the frigiveness thing, doctors
Speaker 1: are just people. They're just people. They're not like some
Speaker 1: magical demigo their jaws human beings. They can be just
Speaker 1: as racist, just as stupid, just as bias, just as tired,
Speaker 1: just as hungry. Just that you know, all of those things,
Speaker 1: not to excuse their behavior, but like, where is it
Speaker 1: coming from? It is it WillFull bias and ignorance, or
Speaker 1: is it like they're really really rushed and maybe you
Speaker 1: still don't want to see them anyway, or the momentum
Speaker 1: of the whatever is the status quo is a given
Speaker 1: profession to you know, like every industry has this like
Speaker 1: decades old momentum of terrible habits and ship that can't
Speaker 1: be broke. But yeah, yeah, anyway, let us know what's
Speaker 1: the missionling guide for doctor? There is there. I don't
Speaker 1: want to plug anybody, but you know, when you google
Speaker 1: the dot, when you google doctor's names, it does you'll
Speaker 1: see rating come up, and or zoc doc also has
Speaker 1: ratings from yet does have ratings but then see But
Speaker 1: then I think, because I yelp. I'm like, see, I
Speaker 1: don't know what this person been through word of mouth.
Speaker 1: I have found almost all of my daughter's specialists and
Speaker 1: my doctors through word of mouth. Yeah, that's the same thing. Doctor.
Speaker 1: The second someone says that, I'm like, Okay, what are
Speaker 1: they like? Where they where they are, what they do?
Speaker 1: Can I get my girls here in New York? I
Speaker 1: gave them a rundown because it took me two years
Speaker 1: to find all my doctors. I went through trial and error.
Speaker 1: I've also had very I've talked about it on this podcast.
Speaker 1: I talked to you you at it, and I think the ambiguous.
Speaker 1: I've definitely had the run of the gamut of bad doctors.
Speaker 1: I have a really great selection here now, and I
Speaker 1: like send it to all my girls who moved to
Speaker 1: New York. I was like, these are my doctors. If
Speaker 1: they were your your insurance, go to these people because
Speaker 1: they respect me that that you have performed a very
Speaker 1: important service. That is an incredible You've saved them hours
Speaker 1: and months and years of pain. So bravo, girl, bravo.
Speaker 1: They're like, hey, I want to get Becca's list, Like,
Speaker 1: how all right, let's take a quick break and we'll
Speaker 1: be right back to talk about governance after this, and
Speaker 1: we're back and uh, let's talk a little bit. You know,
Speaker 1: the midterms are coming up. The GOP is and a
Speaker 1: lot of the news like mayor red wave, I don't know, maybe,
Speaker 1: but also the polling looks all skewed, but also the
Speaker 1: returns seem like that the voter turnout is fucking sky high.
Speaker 1: So everyone is kind of like, what what narrative is
Speaker 1: the one that resembles the actual reality closely? I'm not
Speaker 1: sure yet, but we do know is what comes out
Speaker 1: of the mouths of the Republicans, And like, ever since,
Speaker 1: the rhetoric from this group has just been like some
Speaker 1: fucked up promotion for like a revenge tour, like you know,
Speaker 1: striking back at those that refused to allow an election
Speaker 1: to be overturned or those that half enforced the law
Speaker 1: and let us kind of get away with it. Oh
Speaker 1: we got something for y'all. That's like the energy. None
Speaker 1: of their talking points are ever solutions to actual problems.
Speaker 1: It's just like, man, and that's a problem. Huh, inflation,
Speaker 1: what's your plan? It's bad? Huh, that's okay, that's not
Speaker 1: going to help people who are living check to check.
Speaker 1: You can't just be angry at it. If you're you're saying,
Speaker 1: vote for me so I have a position to make decisions,
Speaker 1: then maybe give them some idea of what's you know,
Speaker 1: what the solution is there? Anyway, right now they're making
Speaker 1: a lot of noise about how, you know, when we
Speaker 1: get back into power. The woke companies, Oh, they're fucked,
Speaker 1: and what does that even mean? So, like, like companies
Speaker 1: that are acknowledging that climate change is going to kill us,
Speaker 1: so they're doing the literal bear mornment to act like
Speaker 1: it's an issue. So they said, uh, in the Senate,
Speaker 1: This is from the Washington Post like that. The title
Speaker 1: of the article something about like like the GOP goes
Speaker 1: after cancerous like climate investments, say, senators are pushing legislation
Speaker 1: to punish businesses that prioritize environmental, social and governance causes
Speaker 1: also known as E s G rather than pure profits. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's saying like, oh, hey, well we're not We're gonna
Speaker 1: go dark on election day so people can vote. They're like, oh,
Speaker 1: so you all woke. Now, hey, we're gonna we're gonna
Speaker 1: invest in this like technology that will help the planet.
Speaker 1: Oh so you're fucking woke now. And they said that
Speaker 1: that this already seems to already create a bit of
Speaker 1: a chilling effect on Wall Street, and because some CEOs
Speaker 1: are now scrambling to quote emphasize that their firms are
Speaker 1: still investing in fossil fuels to be like, you see,
Speaker 1: we we haven't crossed the rubicon. Congressman Andy Barr of
Speaker 1: Kentucky goes even further. He said, quote, my view is
Speaker 1: that E s G investing is a cancer within our
Speaker 1: capital markets. It is a fraud on American investors. Carmen,
Speaker 1: you come, you have a bit of a finance background,
Speaker 1: oh twenty years uh, Like you know when you hear
Speaker 1: a statement like that that s G investing is a
Speaker 1: cancer within our capital markets, a fraud on American investor,
Speaker 1: like it's cancerous to invest in like equity and environmental stability, Miles,
Speaker 1: I also have a master's in psychology. This is projection.
Speaker 1: This is complete and utter projection. Anything they say is
Speaker 1: what they're doing and who they are. They are the cancer, right,
Speaker 1: This is all about their their real thing that they
Speaker 1: really really really want has actually pretty much nothing to
Speaker 1: do with really going after these companies. It's about creating
Speaker 1: a story and the language and a sense of rage, right,
Speaker 1: which is what they feed off of, which is where
Speaker 1: they get their votes from. Right, and fear and strike
Speaker 1: some fear in businesses to get you know, to to
Speaker 1: lean off of the whole, you know, getting off of
Speaker 1: fossil fuels, because in the end, you know, that's what
Speaker 1: their leaders, the Republican leaders, they they're tied to that,
Speaker 1: they're tied to all of that. So they want their profits.
Speaker 1: So that's they put out a message. Let me tell you.
Speaker 1: If there's one thing that you know the Reds can do,
Speaker 1: it is messaging. Oh yeah, because they do. They go
Speaker 1: in wrong and strong, wrong and strong, and you know what,
Speaker 1: it's easier to be wrong and strong. That's just the
Speaker 1: bottom line. And it's easier to appeal to lizard brain,
Speaker 1: always easier. Lizard brain is just easy peasy, But it's
Speaker 1: much harder to you know, really lead with the the
Speaker 1: actual thing, the actual stuff, because it's just not angry.
Speaker 1: It's not fear, it's not anger, it's progress. And um,
Speaker 1: this country, you know, you know it's got a problem
Speaker 1: with progress absolutely, and I mean this this quote. I
Speaker 1: feel like truly it's like the embodiment of what is
Speaker 1: wrong with our society. Right, the idea that maximum profit
Speaker 1: is like the moral person suit, even if it exacerbates
Speaker 1: poverty and earth death. I mean, look, did you did
Speaker 1: you see that there's a somebody snuck out of video
Speaker 1: of I can't remember what candidate was or what senator
Speaker 1: was saying that the actual goal is to completely get
Speaker 1: rid of social security. Now, so talk about maximizing profits.
Speaker 1: So what do you want people, old, older people and
Speaker 1: poor people to do? Die? Yes in the end of
Speaker 1: the because their belief system, their value system, is completely
Speaker 1: based on animalistic things like survival of the fittest, which
Speaker 1: is not what real societies and civilizations can live off of. No,
Speaker 1: we can't. You're right, because if you're a society, you
Speaker 1: have an obligation to help people in that society, right,
Speaker 1: that society, and that means that we're smart human beings.
Speaker 1: But if you want to go back to, you know,
Speaker 1: being living in the plains, the desert plains, then and
Speaker 1: all this talk about alpha stuff and all this survival
Speaker 1: of the fittest, it's that whole belief of if you
Speaker 1: are or if you are disabled, if you can't get ahead,
Speaker 1: it's your fault m h. And you will succumb to
Speaker 1: whatever you know. And well, but by the way until
Speaker 1: because I have a section of my family who grew
Speaker 1: up in New Hampshire who you know, win a different way,
Speaker 1: and they will be you know they were they'll use disability,
Speaker 1: but they'll just rant against it, rant against all these
Speaker 1: things until they need it. And if you dig you'll
Speaker 1: see that that's the case. So for example, how they
Speaker 1: all came out and said student loaned it, how dare
Speaker 1: you forgive that? And meanwhile all these guys talking that
Speaker 1: had all of their loans from the pandemic loans forgiven. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: it's not about that. It's it's just man, it is
Speaker 1: so so lizard. Yeah. And it's just also funny too
Speaker 1: because even goes against like their free market ideology to like,
Speaker 1: what about letting the markets decide? Fam, I thought that
Speaker 1: was your whole thing too. And if they're saying, I
Speaker 1: don't know, consumers seem to not really funk with killing
Speaker 1: the planet, and they're like, that's the what the market
Speaker 1: is telling us. They like this ship, we're selling it,
Speaker 1: we're making money. What the fund is this? But again
Speaker 1: it's all because its own service of this like theocracy
Speaker 1: where you know, white cishet Christians are like at the
Speaker 1: top of the fucking ladder, because that seems to that's
Speaker 1: sort of what has been powering them for the longest time,
Speaker 1: you know, right, And if they keep it up, well
Speaker 1: we won't, we won't catch up. That's what they don't.
Speaker 1: They don't want us to catch up. They don't want
Speaker 1: you to catch up. And I think, you know, it's
Speaker 1: like the only like when they like the fraud on
Speaker 1: American investors, it's the only fraud here is like the
Speaker 1: constant like self victimization that absolutely conservatives preach. You know,
Speaker 1: society is clearly moving in the opposite direction of these
Speaker 1: right wing extremists, and that's why they have to go
Speaker 1: all in on like election denial and voter suppression because
Speaker 1: their message of like hatred and climate change now doesn't resonate,
Speaker 1: you know. And the fact that companies are donating the
Speaker 1: candidates that aren't espousing the same rik also pisses them
Speaker 1: off too, because they're like, well, the fuck it, man,
Speaker 1: the we'll find a way to fucking destabilize your business too,
Speaker 1: because just get in line. This is the one party
Speaker 1: or whatever, and this is the one way of thinking,
Speaker 1: and it's just wild, like you're stretching big time when
Speaker 1: you're like when you identify like JP Morgan, Chase and
Speaker 1: Goldman Sachs is like these Wolke capitalist companies, like come
Speaker 1: on now, no, this is crazy. I listen, wold not
Speaker 1: to let me bring it back. I'm gonna bring it
Speaker 1: back to the book. And then here's how, here's how,
Speaker 1: here's how. Anybody who's growing up with narcissistic parents knows
Speaker 1: what this how this all goes, and knows what this
Speaker 1: is all about. You've heard it, you've seen it, you've
Speaker 1: lived with it, and you grew up with it. So
Speaker 1: it's easy to see what they're doing. The vixtimization. No,
Speaker 1: it's not it's me. Oh you're hurting me. You're doing this.
Speaker 1: It's all of that, the protection, the victimization, it's all
Speaker 1: psychological tactics that are unfortunately working to to keep us
Speaker 1: down because nation not even nationwide globally, we're seeing us, right,
Speaker 1: We're seeing how scary the Brazil election was, We're seeing
Speaker 1: how we're seeing Israel. We're seeing all these really hard
Speaker 1: right because the population of the world is changing, m
Speaker 1: it is turning into us. Look at us people, if
Speaker 1: you could see us right now when we tell we
Speaker 1: got brown, we got Asian, we got black, we got Latino,
Speaker 1: we got all of it right here, and that is
Speaker 1: what they're terrified of. Yeah, And I think it's it's
Speaker 1: part of like the this denial about like this myth
Speaker 1: that I think, like the old school white American tells
Speaker 1: themselves about this idea of American exceptionalism and completely having
Speaker 1: to ignore, like they don't they don't want to confront
Speaker 1: that central myth. Uh, you know, especially that like that
Speaker 1: most people talk about that the land that their country
Speaker 1: sits on, this was violently colonized and then built with
Speaker 1: slave labor. But not because they were innovators and benevolent explorers.
Speaker 1: Some of this is off of brute force and violence.
Speaker 1: And then it's like kicking back and be like yeah, wow,
Speaker 1: this is this is this place is fantastic. And I
Speaker 1: think there was this there's this moment like I just
Speaker 1: want to touch touch on like the kind of backlash
Speaker 1: that I think we're seeing really like form in a
Speaker 1: in a really specific way since you know, like Obama
Speaker 1: was elected and you know, I think far too many
Speaker 1: people thought hooray, racism is over, even though we never
Speaker 1: had a reckoning with that other stuff I just talked about,
Speaker 1: like the genocide and slaver. But we're totally good, now,
Speaker 1: totally good, Now, everything's all good. But then that also
Speaker 1: set off the tea party in birth or nonsense. And
Speaker 1: now we're kind of here, and there's just in your book.
Speaker 1: I just want to talk about your book really quick,
Speaker 1: or I mean, this is the reason I bring this
Speaker 1: up is that, like America right has this issue with
Speaker 1: seeing people who are not the status quo begin to
Speaker 1: experience any level of equity or success and or if
Speaker 1: there's even ride God forbid and who you are and
Speaker 1: that's not conforming to the status quo of cis head
Speaker 1: Christian whiteness, then guess what they're probably gonna come for
Speaker 1: you because oh you're too you're too proud to be gay,
Speaker 1: you're too proud to be black, you're too too proud
Speaker 1: to be Dominican, whatever it is, there's just there, there
Speaker 1: will always be something like, well, why can't we be
Speaker 1: proud of being like you know that there's always that weird,
Speaker 1: freaky counter argument that you see, and like in your book,
Speaker 1: there's this one moment that really stuck out to me
Speaker 1: is when your mother, who's Dominican like Afril Latina, she
Speaker 1: was inspired by Rita Moreno seeing Rita Moreno on the
Speaker 1: electric company and she had her hair in the afro
Speaker 1: and she was like, oh, I like that, got her
Speaker 1: hair done. And then when she came home, your stepfather
Speaker 1: did not like what he saw, and she had very
Speaker 1: quickly make herself small to the status quo, so to speak, well,
Speaker 1: to appease her white new husband. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but
Speaker 1: it hurt a lot of people. It's come up a
Speaker 1: lot because it really just shows just how tough that
Speaker 1: whole idea of you quote unquote assimilation was. So we
Speaker 1: moved from Harlem to New Hampshire. To give people some background.
Speaker 1: I went from Dominican Chinese from Chinatown Harlem to the whiteness,
Speaker 1: wild whiteness of New Hampshire and a new white stepfather
Speaker 1: and the Spanish. No Spanish in the house, no Spanish food,
Speaker 1: no Dominican food, no Chinese, no nothing, and it just
Speaker 1: turned into whiteness. And my mother tried to rebel a
Speaker 1: little bit and tried to be proud of herself because
Speaker 1: she was a very funky, fun well dressed. Of course,
Speaker 1: the Winnighana in New York, and she did that hairstyle
Speaker 1: and the pride in her face when she walked in
Speaker 1: the door, I lit up, and then within two seconds
Speaker 1: I went, oh shit, because I knew what was coming.
Speaker 1: And when my stepfather came home and he saw, he
Speaker 1: called her upstairs, and she came down a bit later,
Speaker 1: her face a little puffy, and she had a scarf
Speaker 1: on her head, and I didn't We didn't see her
Speaker 1: head again until that hair grew out and she could
Speaker 1: pull it back in a ponytail and straighten it again.
Speaker 1: And that based message was to her was how dare
Speaker 1: you be yourself? How dare you be proud of your
Speaker 1: hair and your heritage and all of that? And the
Speaker 1: message to me was is that if you want to
Speaker 1: be in this America, you need to look like us
Speaker 1: and be like us, or we're gonna make you, or
Speaker 1: you can't be here. An knows. And it was bad
Speaker 1: to be me, So it was. It was very much
Speaker 1: that sad message. But I'll tell you in terms of
Speaker 1: not letting us succeed in being proud, I got that
Speaker 1: message when I was a little kid in Catholic school
Speaker 1: there in New Hampshire, the nuns hated that I was smart.
Speaker 1: Hated it. They would not points off ship. Oh, they
Speaker 1: hated it. It made it infuriate them. And I like
Speaker 1: kind of lapped it up as like a little kidding,
Speaker 1: like their expectations of me were so low, and then
Speaker 1: I was like this like crazy straight e student and
Speaker 1: they like chalked it up to the Chinese side or
Speaker 1: some ship, but they it drove them crazy and they
Speaker 1: wouldn't let me join the National Honors Society. The wouldn't
Speaker 1: let me do lots of things which affected my life.
Speaker 1: And if you can imagine, this happens all the time, Yeah,
Speaker 1: exactly all the time. I think that's why, just like
Speaker 1: the book can resonate with so many experiences, right because
Speaker 1: just even from that moment, I think a lot of
Speaker 1: people have felt man like, man, people are gonna laugh
Speaker 1: at my lunch because it smells I eat ethnic for
Speaker 1: like that I'm not eating lunchables and ship or you know,
Speaker 1: like I don't want to bring chopsticks to eat my
Speaker 1: lunch at school because and be like you know and
Speaker 1: like you like and that like that's like those are
Speaker 1: the subtle ways that you grow up, like having to
Speaker 1: check your sort of immigrant nous or non like mainstream
Speaker 1: white American nous, right. And it is also a really
Speaker 1: interesting perspective that kind of shows just how like this
Speaker 1: like violent enforcement of the like white status quo like
Speaker 1: effects us in so many different ways, you know, Like
Speaker 1: you're talking about achievement, right, so many like my mom's
Speaker 1: an immigrant from Japan, my dad's black. They're like, man,
Speaker 1: you gotta go to fucking college. The fucking movie fucking
Speaker 1: are you out your fucking mind. You will go to college,
Speaker 1: you will get a degree. You will then have to
Speaker 1: get a good job so you can enter the middle
Speaker 1: class so you can survive this ship. And like it
Speaker 1: was like told to me, like they're like listen to
Speaker 1: me in in a way, like I had that hammered
Speaker 1: into my head, and I'm I'm glad I did go
Speaker 1: to I learned a lot from my time pursuing my
Speaker 1: education and things like that, but it definitely put a
Speaker 1: damper on my own belief that I could pursue like
Speaker 1: creative interest took look at me, like I ended up
Speaker 1: doing completely. All wanted to be was a writer, Like
Speaker 1: that's all I ever wanted to be. And it took
Speaker 1: me to you know, decades to get back to it
Speaker 1: after going doing all this other stuff because in our
Speaker 1: house we were not allowed. You had to be a doctor,
Speaker 1: lawyer and n b A. Surviving survival is step one.
Speaker 1: It's not oh, don't worry about survival, baby, we're good.
Speaker 1: Like that's a very specific kind of person where survival
Speaker 1: isn't the absolute step one to living. First survival, first
Speaker 1: survived this ship. Then if you got time, all right,
Speaker 1: funk around that other stuff. But step one is fucking survived,
Speaker 1: because don't get it sucked up. This place is really
Speaker 1: difficult for people who look like us, and it's it's
Speaker 1: just like, yeah, just knowing that just sort of the
Speaker 1: imbalance of all that, right, And we're in a situation now, yeah,
Speaker 1: where we're trying to we're merely saying to live in
Speaker 1: a world. We want to live in a world where
Speaker 1: I don't have to look at my kid or something
Speaker 1: and say, you know what, like you gotta you gotta
Speaker 1: worry about X, Y and Z, because this is everything
Speaker 1: is stacked against you, etcetera, etcetera. There's no such thing
Speaker 1: as equity. You gotta fight for everything because unfortunately that's
Speaker 1: the case. But that is completely then spun by people
Speaker 1: on the right as like an attack right because our
Speaker 1: equality looks like they're fucking nightmare. I just want to
Speaker 1: play this one ad that's playing in Georgia because I
Speaker 1: think it perfectly sums up how conservatives are thinking, especially
Speaker 1: in this moment. This is a real ad playing in
Speaker 1: Georgia right now, asking about like, why is it okay
Speaker 1: for there to be racism against white people? When did
Speaker 1: racism against white people become okay? Joe Biden put white
Speaker 1: people last in line for COVID relief funds. Kamala Harris
Speaker 1: said disaster age should go to non white citizens. First.
Speaker 1: Liberal politicians block access to medicine based on skin color.
Speaker 1: Progressive corporations, airlines, universities all openly discriminate against white Americans.
Speaker 1: Racism is always wrong. The left's anti white bigotry must stop.
Speaker 1: We are all entitled the equal treatment under law. America.
Speaker 1: First Legal paid for this from Yeah wow, Wow. They
Speaker 1: want to be discriminated so bad, Well again, it serves them,
Speaker 1: right language, It serves them, and it doesn't acknowledge the
Speaker 1: disparity at all because it say's we're equal treatment. It's
Speaker 1: it's not. When they know that things aren't equal. They
Speaker 1: know there's no equity. They know, And this is what
Speaker 1: really drives me crazy when people talk like this. They know,
Speaker 1: they know, but they're choosing to focus on the language
Speaker 1: and focus on twisting the language to suit what they
Speaker 1: want to do. But it's it's propaganda. It's just totally
Speaker 1: psychological what you call it psy ops just to say
Speaker 1: what about us? Because the whole thing is just kind
Speaker 1: of like, really, what the subtext of this is. It's
Speaker 1: white people were about to be like we did the
Speaker 1: other people. That's the subtext. And they know that because
Speaker 1: you often know how bad non white people have it
Speaker 1: to be able to connect that pain and fear to
Speaker 1: this kind of ad because most of white people be
Speaker 1: like what, I don't know. In my majority white area,
Speaker 1: my job is like fine, ship right AOC. She's all
Speaker 1: outspoken and ship. Oh my god, I don't want to
Speaker 1: get dunked on by her. She was a bartender, which
Speaker 1: is like the same thing. You know. I gotta tell you, man,
Speaker 1: even within the community I hear from sometimes I'm talking
Speaker 1: you know, in the King of Latinos and the men
Speaker 1: too are very man about people like me, even if
Speaker 1: they're even if they're left. It's like they really dismissed her.
Speaker 1: I've got into like arguments they really dismiss her because
Speaker 1: she's a woman, bombers man. But it's not racism as
Speaker 1: much in our community. It's like yes, and hence why
Speaker 1: Latinos voting in Florida. Look at where it's going. You
Speaker 1: kidding me, man, kidding me? Because we want to be
Speaker 1: so much apart of the ruling class, right, we want
Speaker 1: to be accepted so bad. And you see that too
Speaker 1: with like so many like people that the right co
Speaker 1: ops like black and brown bodies that they're like, look
Speaker 1: at this one. And you can also see like anybody
Speaker 1: to like I think any person, any marginalized person who's
Speaker 1: been like damn man, like the man being a white
Speaker 1: looks easier or like I would get less ship if
Speaker 1: I was white. Like that that can stay with people
Speaker 1: throughout their entire lives, to the point the next thing
Speaker 1: you know, they're on they're on Bench Shapiro Show talking
Speaker 1: about how you know that's the reason why. Look I'm black,
Speaker 1: and I'm telling you the problem is fathers are just around.
Speaker 1: It's not mass incarceration or anything like that. And right, seriously,
Speaker 1: but like that's really you can kind of you just
Speaker 1: see how like there's also this how that all that
Speaker 1: is like internalized white supremacy too, feels like, well, Ship,
Speaker 1: I might be safer if I'm team these people like that.
Speaker 1: You know the insidiousness of that tune. You're like, damn.
Speaker 1: There a really good book about it for Latino specifically.
Speaker 1: It's called The Hispanic Republican by GERALDO. Um and it's
Speaker 1: the byeline is the shaping of American political identity from
Speaker 1: Nixon a Trump. So highly recommend it for a read
Speaker 1: if you want to unpack like kind of like the
Speaker 1: white Cuban Latino of Florida, the internalized racism our community
Speaker 1: has when it comes to like voting. I know my
Speaker 1: father personally, he was never a Republican, but he definitely
Speaker 1: dealt with his own internalized racism and truly like head
Speaker 1: in the sand, you know, if I don't, you know,
Speaker 1: say anything, I don't have to worry, like how do
Speaker 1: I just assimilate and be the Latino man that they
Speaker 1: need me to be and not buck the system. It
Speaker 1: took Trump getting elected for my dad to really care
Speaker 1: and realize, oh Ship, this affects me. You know, for
Speaker 1: so long he was like, you know, like I don't
Speaker 1: say nothing, I don't do nothing. I do what might
Speaker 1: need to do. I speak English. I refuse to speak
Speaker 1: Spanish like you and anybody who tries to speak to
Speaker 1: me in Spanish. I like my white Americana things. I
Speaker 1: eat meat loaf and that's who I am. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: meat loaf, you said, traumatized Trump getting elected for him
Speaker 1: to become like a prouder Latino in our home, like
Speaker 1: it really did. It was the other same thing. It
Speaker 1: would be the same same thing because she ended up
Speaker 1: evangelical in the end, and she, you know, even though
Speaker 1: she's the one who taught me how to sit, how
Speaker 1: to see propaganda when I was a little kid, because
Speaker 1: you know, her family fled right a dictatorship and all
Speaker 1: that stuff. But once she was here, it was all
Speaker 1: just assimilate. And then she became super super conservative and
Speaker 1: it was just horrible to see. But it was all
Speaker 1: this kind of like fleeing towards some sense of safety,
Speaker 1: like if I, if I go with them, I'll be okay,
Speaker 1: like you know, but if I'm against them, then I'm
Speaker 1: a target. And it's just so sad. It's very ands
Speaker 1: are like and if you don't have the self belief
Speaker 1: or feel feeling that you could even be safe in
Speaker 1: your community as a buyin. Ay, you might be like, well,
Speaker 1: that's at least safe, because I know if I'm out
Speaker 1: here proud of who I am, fucking targets sometimes yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure, Yeah that's what. That's what. Well. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: if your own community doesn't even accept you either, because
Speaker 1: like when I was a kid with the New Hampshire
Speaker 1: thing and then all of a sudden, I'm taking French
Speaker 1: and you know, my Spanish is going away and I'm
Speaker 1: dressing different also, and I come home to the city
Speaker 1: and oh do you talk white? Like you look so white?
Speaker 1: You missed you that and my own community rejected me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you're getting it from both sides. So you can
Speaker 1: see if these other generations are kind of like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna these guys want me like you don't want
Speaker 1: me because now I'm too Gringa, I'm too American for you.
Speaker 1: Our own communities have to deal with our own stuff too. Yeah,
Speaker 1: not besides, but but as well, because it's so important
Speaker 1: to band together, man, you know, I mean, I mean
Speaker 1: that the group people who call me Jackie Chan the
Speaker 1: most or like my black friends for cousins too, and
Speaker 1: that's just how he's Chinese. Yeah, well yeah when I
Speaker 1: said that, they're like what, Yeah, They're like, I can't
Speaker 1: even come from we know that, we know that. I'm
Speaker 1: oh no, but anyway, Miles, the Asian black thing love it.
Speaker 1: My brother was very much ablazeon yeah, that's what he
Speaker 1: came out. It's interesting. I mean, I totally I identify
Speaker 1: so much with everything you write, and like, oh, it's
Speaker 1: just it's just so funny, like it doesn't matter what
Speaker 1: it is. Everything, like you start mixing races up. It's
Speaker 1: pretty much the same thing for everybody once the second
Speaker 1: it happens, because it's so you come from well defined
Speaker 1: like identities and then you try and find your place
Speaker 1: in the middle. It's always very hectic until you just
Speaker 1: meet other places. But don't but don't people say to
Speaker 1: you too, like I find I get some times from
Speaker 1: from the black community or the Asian community were kind
Speaker 1: of like but you know, it's so completely like there's
Speaker 1: so many things that's so complicated and and it's hard,
Speaker 1: and it did that like like making it seem like
Speaker 1: this this horrible burden, whereas I have to say, like
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but I find it the coolest ship. Like
Speaker 1: I can see and do an experience things like that,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I think it's a little
Speaker 1: bit of a superpower. Miles one. I don't. I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't have any grievances about at all. I like
Speaker 1: to your point, like I can navigate fucking any fucking space.
Speaker 1: Like I grew up in l A, so I know
Speaker 1: enough Spanish. I'm good Spanish speakers, fucking Korean speakers from
Speaker 1: Osmosis Armenians. Like you grow up with a ton of
Speaker 1: different people and you hang out with them enough, you're like,
Speaker 1: oh ship, yeah, okay, like I see, I see the
Speaker 1: overlap here and there. But yeah, I mean they are
Speaker 1: the shape shifters, man, and they are scared of us
Speaker 1: because we are the future of the being bilingual and
Speaker 1: like bilingual ship too. People up so bad Like I was,
Speaker 1: I was just thinking about, you know, like like how
Speaker 1: you're saying, like in your house having Spanish band. I
Speaker 1: know so many people who are like like other half
Speaker 1: Japanese kids whose American parent was like, we're not, Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: we're not doing that because that's I'm not about to
Speaker 1: have y'all talking in code behind me, behind my back,
Speaker 1: even though they're loving parents, but that like very odd.
Speaker 1: What specific insecurity is there of, like I love you,
Speaker 1: you're my wife, and you are from this country, but
Speaker 1: don't fucking don't don't start speaking your other language to
Speaker 1: this kid, because that now I'm left out and I
Speaker 1: damn sure I'm not gonna learn your That was part
Speaker 1: of it. That that was part of it too, for sure,
Speaker 1: that was part of it. That that dynamic too, and
Speaker 1: that dynamic of the white man kind of the white
Speaker 1: savior thing that also played out my mother's second marriage.
Speaker 1: That big like I'm gonna I'm going to take this
Speaker 1: dark native lady and I'm going to show her American,
Speaker 1: give her American life and fix her teeth and get
Speaker 1: her contacts and effects. Oh, it was so like at
Speaker 1: it's so weird because like I grew up in a
Speaker 1: both Puerto Rican home, like both my parents are Puerto Rican,
Speaker 1: but my dad was so Americanized. My mom is from
Speaker 1: the islands from the States, and he was the one
Speaker 1: who was like, we're not doing that in our house
Speaker 1: because I'm afraid of what people will think of you,
Speaker 1: my very Puerto Rican wife. And so like they spoke
Speaker 1: in Spanish as it rode against us, but they wouldn't
Speaker 1: teach us Spanish because they did not, like my dad
Speaker 1: didn't want us walking the world speaking Spanish and being discriminate. Again,
Speaker 1: so it's like my dad only spoke it if he
Speaker 1: had to, like if my grandmother really need to understand
Speaker 1: something because she didn't speak English, or if he was
Speaker 1: like arguing with my mom about us, and or my
Speaker 1: mom would use it to bully us, which was really
Speaker 1: fucked up. And that's but yeah, she would speak Spanish
Speaker 1: in front of us to be like, I'm mad at you,
Speaker 1: but you can't tell him cussing you out because I'm
Speaker 1: speaking Spanish. But that's who learned all the swears though,
Speaker 1: yea our own mother. Yeah, to the point, I thought
Speaker 1: Karajo was my name literally right, hold me, That's all
Speaker 1: I hear is my mother's voice every time. And then
Speaker 1: I would be like, oh, Spanish swears, and she was like,
Speaker 1: you don't know any and I'm like everywhere, And I
Speaker 1: think also to your point, Becker, right, like we're talking
Speaker 1: about the cycles that our parents are trying and prevent, right,
Speaker 1: Like I'm sure your dad felt mothered by speaking Spanish
Speaker 1: and knowing Spanish that in his mind, his strategy as
Speaker 1: a parent was, I'm going to protect my child so
Speaker 1: they don't get bullied or mothered by speaking Spanish. Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: taking away a vital connection to a culture through language,
Speaker 1: and you're you come out the other side of being
Speaker 1: like it really would have been dope if you actually
Speaker 1: taught me. When I think about it, when I was
Speaker 1: reading your book, Carmen, when you're talking about the food
Speaker 1: in the household, because my mom cooked certain like my
Speaker 1: mom grew up as the cook and her family like
Speaker 1: she my grandmother grew up in a single parent household,
Speaker 1: like my great grandmother was a single parent in the
Speaker 1: like in New York, in Washington Heights, and so my
Speaker 1: grandmother didn't learn how to cook, and so my mom
Speaker 1: when she my grandmother married a Puerto Rican man and
Speaker 1: moved back to Puerto Rico, she learned from all her
Speaker 1: DIA's to cook. So my mom was a cook for
Speaker 1: the whole family, cook traditional Puerto Rican food. But then
Speaker 1: she married my dad, and my dad didn't like to
Speaker 1: eat that food because he is so Americanized. And I mean,
Speaker 1: like certain dishes we cooked, we grew up with like
Speaker 1: certain Puerto Rican dishes, but I ate very Americana growing up,
Speaker 1: like burgers, meat loaf, roasted chicken, like the same hand
Speaker 1: when you said when you said meat loaf, I like,
Speaker 1: I I cringed because that my mother learned how to cook.
Speaker 1: And I put that in quotes because the stuff was
Speaker 1: trash and he was and my mom is an incredible cook,
Speaker 1: so the food was good. But it's just like I
Speaker 1: think about those meals and I'm like, wow, my mom
Speaker 1: really like and not that Putorican food is great for
Speaker 1: you by any means, but it's like my mom learned
Speaker 1: how to cook some like really American as dishes. For
Speaker 1: my dad, I feel like, and he is still very
Speaker 1: picky eater this day. Like he's only now curving his
Speaker 1: diet a little bit because the doctor was like, you
Speaker 1: got to figure this out. This is not working for
Speaker 1: you anymore. You can't beat fast food all the time. Whatever.
Speaker 1: But it is just so crazy the things that my mom,
Speaker 1: who grew up in a very ethnic household, kind of
Speaker 1: curved even though my dad was also Puerto Rican because
Speaker 1: he was so afraid and it was a conversation a lot.
Speaker 1: My mom was like, no, like, my kids are gonna
Speaker 1: be bilingual, like she was like, well, I grew up
Speaker 1: thinking my children would always become bilingual. But marrying your father,
Speaker 1: it was so interesting to be like, I see, like,
Speaker 1: you're not gonna have a relation of your kids if
Speaker 1: they speak Spanish. And that's well, we could, but we
Speaker 1: that's that's for us, right, that's for us to change
Speaker 1: and to choose to change, and and all of those things.
Speaker 1: Like I got my Spanish back pretty much and tried
Speaker 1: but to raise my daughter with it, but thwarted a
Speaker 1: bit by the fact that I was the main breadwinner,
Speaker 1: so I wasn't the one who could end the person.
Speaker 1: You know. The people that she was with in terms
Speaker 1: of daycare was they were Georgian from Russia, like Georgians,
Speaker 1: you know. And she ended up taking in school Mandarin
Speaker 1: because she she knew her gun, she knew her grandfather,
Speaker 1: and she really took to Mandarin. And she's she's does music,
Speaker 1: math and Mandarin looks like the same parts of her
Speaker 1: brain and she's like in like Mandarin six and she's amazing.
Speaker 1: But she knows Spanish, she knows the food, she knows
Speaker 1: I've taken her to Sound the Domingo. I've taken her
Speaker 1: the d R many times. She knows all those parts
Speaker 1: of her and though she struggles more with colorism because
Speaker 1: my brother's kids are black Wongs. Their mom's from Guyana
Speaker 1: black eye Ese, and she, my daughter turned out banga
Speaker 1: blanca like blue eyes and the whole thing, and kind
Speaker 1: of freakishly. She is the only white kid in the family.
Speaker 1: So she's dealing with it in a whole another way.
Speaker 1: And she says to me the other day, she says,
Speaker 1: you know what, mom, because we were talking politics. It's
Speaker 1: very depressing for her. Of course for all of us,
Speaker 1: but for the young kids, teenagers, it's really bad. And
Speaker 1: she was like, you know what, I'm just glad that
Speaker 1: I lived through the Obama years. She's like, because I
Speaker 1: got to see how it could be. Yeah, And it
Speaker 1: was like, oh, she broke my heart with that. But
Speaker 1: that idea she she did, it was a very different time.
Speaker 1: I mean, it wasn't I'm not saying everything was, you know, cot,
Speaker 1: but it was the hate speech wasn't so outward. It
Speaker 1: wasn't people used shame about these things. Yeah, it used
Speaker 1: to be ashamed, but no, no longer, no longer. All right,
Speaker 1: let's take a quick break and we'll be right back
Speaker 1: to talk about a teenager who might be saving democracy.
Speaker 1: Some good news after this, and we're back, and good news, y'all,
Speaker 1: a fourteen year old and Ulster County, New York may
Speaker 1: have saved the fucking country. And you say, how, well,
Speaker 1: back in the summer, this kids entry for a contest
Speaker 1: to pick the new design for the I voted sticker
Speaker 1: in that county just blew up. And for those of
Speaker 1: us on this zoom call, I don't know if you've
Speaker 1: seen it. It's like a multi colored head with a
Speaker 1: mechanical spider underneath, as Jam describes if Baskia illustrated the
Speaker 1: children's book based on John Carpenter's The Thing, Yes, and
Speaker 1: yeah exactly. I voted in like the teeth are like
Speaker 1: rainbow colored, the eyes are bloodshot, and I guess. Reportedly,
Speaker 1: the election commissioner who was like in charge of this
Speaker 1: contest was quote shocked when she first saw the entry
Speaker 1: and she thought it was a joke because she received
Speaker 1: it on four twenties. So, okay, nice, try potheads. Do
Speaker 1: you think this is gonna fucking go? But this is wild?
Speaker 1: The reason? Okay, so this it did get selected, and
Speaker 1: it's not because like it wasn't just like the ironic
Speaker 1: Internet people being like vote for shoot like multi colored
Speaker 1: crab head sticker. There was, like they said, everyone in
Speaker 1: this office at the County Commissioner's office was quote evenly
Speaker 1: split between Republicans and Democrats. They all laughed at the design.
Speaker 1: So they put that forward with like six other or
Speaker 1: five other designs to the final six. And this this guy,
Speaker 1: a Hudson Rowan, he fucking smashed the competition. He got
Speaker 1: nine of the foy You look at some of the
Speaker 1: other stickers, they are tied, they need to go to bed,
Speaker 1: just past their bedtime. The one is like a fucking eagle.
Speaker 1: This one was fire man. I wanted to the second
Speaker 1: I saw it, I wanted to go find a way
Speaker 1: to buy it. I was like one of those I
Speaker 1: want one of those stickers. It's so wild, it like
Speaker 1: it feels like something that's like, man, it's a straight
Speaker 1: chaos absurd. But I don't know why I look at it.
Speaker 1: I'm like, man, there's some there's something true about this
Speaker 1: about this weird disembodied crab head that's like in a
Speaker 1: panicked me, like I voted or or I see him
Speaker 1: as being like I voted, motherfucker, that's him. Oh. It's
Speaker 1: like it's like, yeah, maybe one of me doesn't scare you,
Speaker 1: but when millions of us get to go exactly. But yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just like it's just kind of a really beautiful,
Speaker 1: like kind of moment. And like the kid wasn't even
Speaker 1: trying to be like, oh, let me shoot on this
Speaker 1: competition by putting forward this like image. Apparently like his
Speaker 1: mom was just like, hey, there's a contest, and he
Speaker 1: like and he saw what people were doing like American
Speaker 1: flagship and like Uncle Sam type red, white, and blue nonsense,
Speaker 1: and so he just said he decided to just doodle
Speaker 1: something that was more personal and reminiscent that to something
Speaker 1: he would have drew when he was younger. He said,
Speaker 1: he hopes it will inspire many people to vote. Well,
Speaker 1: guess what, motherfucker, it looks like you have. It's being
Speaker 1: used in early voting, and the Ulster County Commission they
Speaker 1: were like looking at everything. They said, man that one
Speaker 1: of the workers said, the sticker has become quote highly
Speaker 1: coveted and has driven up turnout and excitement. And one
Speaker 1: of the people who was like running the elections there
Speaker 1: said it's definitely gotten more people out for the first day.
Speaker 1: I've never seen this many people for a mid turn. Now,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to say it's solely the sticker. There
Speaker 1: are some issues up for debate, but I do think
Speaker 1: there is something to it because if you look back
Speaker 1: at the history of like the I Voted sticker, it
Speaker 1: happened in like the back end of the twentieth century
Speaker 1: as a way to get to like make voting this
Speaker 1: thing that felt more like a social gathering. And I think,
Speaker 1: you know, like like like we've seen with the sticker,
Speaker 1: we have like it's clear like research shows that like
Speaker 1: stickers actually have an impact on some level on voter
Speaker 1: turnout because a lot of people may vote not because
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, ship, like this is my civic duty,
Speaker 1: but also because they're like, well everybody else getting a
Speaker 1: sticker social pres I post like tomorrow on vote early tomorrow,
Speaker 1: and you know I'm going to post you know, the
Speaker 1: picture with the stick Yeah. Absolutely, I think everyone does,
Speaker 1: like I always do it to social but it's just
Speaker 1: it's it warms my heart to see that like they
Speaker 1: truly are just like looking at this and like damn,
Speaker 1: you know a lot of people like this absurd crabhead,
Speaker 1: So shout out to the children a futures, yes, and
Speaker 1: they will make stickers look a little crabhead shout out
Speaker 1: crab bad shout out rowing uh and yes, please please
Speaker 1: fucking vote well, Karmin read A Wong. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for joining us on the Daily's I guess it
Speaker 1: was an absolute pleasure speaking with you. Where can people
Speaker 1: find you and follow you and read you and all that? Yes, Yes,
Speaker 1: go to at Carmen Wong on Instagram and also website
Speaker 1: is Camado dot com. Go order the book, spread the word.
Speaker 1: Let me know what you think. I love love getting
Speaker 1: people's feedback, reviews, talk to me through the website, d
Speaker 1: M S whatever. I just love it and it's something
Speaker 1: for everyone, as you said, Miles, something for everyone. Resonate
Speaker 1: American story. Thank you so much for having me. Oh no, no,
Speaker 1: it's all love, being honest, very like American kind of
Speaker 1: scary to the other side show because we just look
Speaker 1: at us like we are just oh we are they
Speaker 1: We're not being like how do we throw them all
Speaker 1: in jail? No, we're out here being like, man, everybody
Speaker 1: needs some ship. Yeah, and that's really the truth of it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like let's be real, like, oh, I'm sorry, you can't
Speaker 1: admit that you're getting sucked over. Okay, maybe your ego
Speaker 1: will look a subside for a moment and you can
Speaker 1: allow yourself to be vulnerable, because I think that's the
Speaker 1: other huge part about being American. There's vulnerability is like
Speaker 1: not a real thing. No, no, no, Like allowing yourself
Speaker 1: to struggle in public is the worst absolute optics. You're
Speaker 1: talking to someone who has a them are out miles.
Speaker 1: Let's just say I'm not twenty years old, like it takes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you gotta you gotta give some cojones, you know, for real? Uh?
Speaker 1: Is there a tweet or some other social media posts
Speaker 1: that you've been liking? Car Oh, isn't Twitter and interesting place?
Speaker 1: I'm at Carmen since s E N s E. But
Speaker 1: I have held back on posting on Twitter because I
Speaker 1: am concerned what's going on. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: it is so much my place because I follow great,
Speaker 1: great reporters, I follow great news outlets, and I follow
Speaker 1: long COVID research and COVID stuff, and it's just been
Speaker 1: it's been a wealth of information for me. So I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be a little quiet there for a little bit
Speaker 1: to see what's happening and see what rolls out. But himself,
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, you know, just go ahead and destroy yourself. No,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to destroy myself. I did download my
Speaker 1: eye god. Yeah you mean you mean the child at
Speaker 1: the emerald, the boy with emeralds in his pockets, child
Speaker 1: at the controls. But yes, but I I downloaded my archive.
Speaker 1: I saudrust everybody do the same. Yeah, I lost all
Speaker 1: my Vine videos. Man, are you serious? Some wild ass
Speaker 1: vines to come on? I know, what are you gonna do? Now?
Speaker 1: Vine was fun. Unfortunately, I like TikTok. I'm there, but
Speaker 1: I'm a ghost. I just watched I don't. I think
Speaker 1: many of us are saying, yeah, it's too much great creativity, man,
Speaker 1: too much great. Yeah, and it's good that the algorithm
Speaker 1: hasn't taken you into like pseudoscience TikTok, because like it's
Speaker 1: I started getting stuff like that, and I'm like, you know,
Speaker 1: I do not like this, don't I know? I know
Speaker 1: how to like swipe through real fast when that sort
Speaker 1: of stuff comes up, Like I ate popcorn for thirty days,
Speaker 1: here are the results, and you're like, drink some water. No, no,
Speaker 1: some of that stuff. No, Becca, thank you so much
Speaker 1: also for helping me co host today. You're the You're
Speaker 1: the greatest. Um. Where can people find you and follow you? Uh?
Speaker 1: And if there's a tweet or TikTok that you're with.
Speaker 1: I have a couple of tweets, but you can find
Speaker 1: me and follow me at Beck's B E C C S.
Speaker 1: Ramos on all platforms. I am a ghost on TikTok
Speaker 1: and I'm very active on Instagram. I'm also kind of
Speaker 1: a ghost on Twitter. But I did find two tweets.
Speaker 1: One from Jamaica eleven J M E c A. My
Speaker 1: mama swore up and down she wasn't my little friend.
Speaker 1: Now look at her, my little friend. And that made
Speaker 1: me laugh so as someone whose mother also told her
Speaker 1: she was not her little friend. Um. And then the
Speaker 1: second one, okay, go go go, I got one, Go ahead, Becka.
Speaker 1: And then the second one I have is from Sefi
Speaker 1: goth s A S E P H I R G
Speaker 1: O t H. Keep me in your thoughts today I
Speaker 1: have so I have to go to work even though
Speaker 1: I'm so sleepy and beautiful and fun to be around.
Speaker 1: Wait wait, wait, I got one because I screens shotted
Speaker 1: this yesterday at mr Jemma dari m R j e
Speaker 1: j E m E d R. Glad to see so
Speaker 1: many embracing therapy. A few of you need an exorcism
Speaker 1: as well. But baby steps, baby steps, love it. Sh Uh.
Speaker 1: Let's see some tweets like first one is from Harry
Speaker 1: Wine reb w e I n r e B tweeted
Speaker 1: today marks four years since I cut poisonous berries out
Speaker 1: of my diet. I feel amazing. I have so much
Speaker 1: more energy and more daily and no more daily trips
Speaker 1: to the e er. I can't recommend it enough. You
Speaker 1: always see tweets like that, stop this, and I've been,
Speaker 1: but yeah, please stop being those poisonous berries. Let's see
Speaker 1: Matt far At Philoso far f A r R tweeted
Speaker 1: over heeard A University students say Arctic Monkeys were my
Speaker 1: dad's favorite band when I was of time. Is relentless, unfathomable,
Speaker 1: cruel and unforgiving uh. And then Sydney Battle at Sydney
Speaker 1: Battle with wise s y d n e Y tweeted
Speaker 1: huge drama on my block right now. Basically my crows
Speaker 1: got tired of the local squirrels always taking some of
Speaker 1: the food I leave out, so now as an act
Speaker 1: of retaliation, the crows are going yard the yard, finding
Speaker 1: the squirrels stashes and eating everything squirrels are watching in horror.
Speaker 1: Uh so a little bit of drama on that block.
Speaker 1: I like her, I like her real Sydney and TikTok's
Speaker 1: She's great. Yeah, let's see. Oh. You can find me
Speaker 1: at Miles of Gray on Twitter and Instagram. You can
Speaker 1: also find Jack and I on the other podcast Miles
Speaker 1: and Jack Got Mad Boost These an official NBA podcast,
Speaker 1: and also my other trash reality TV podcast for twenty
Speaker 1: day Fiance that I do with Sophia Alexandra When. You
Speaker 1: can find us at Daily's e Geist on Twitter, at
Speaker 1: the Dailies e Guist on Instagram. We got a Facebook
Speaker 1: fan paid and a website Dailies Guys dot com. We're
Speaker 1: posting our episodes and a foot note but no thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you left me hanging there for a second. Where
Speaker 1: you can also check out the song We're gonna ride
Speaker 1: out on today. We're gonna go out on this track
Speaker 1: by Emmy O Woo sou I m M y O
Speaker 1: w U s U. The track is called Brown Supremacy. Uh.
Speaker 1: This guy is a really interesting artist. He is half
Speaker 1: Gunnaian and half Australian and like his music, you know,
Speaker 1: because we're talking about you know, racial identity, the fl
Speaker 1: This is a really interesting track and he's a really
Speaker 1: interesting artist. He's like, you know, he's was growing up
Speaker 1: in Australia but grow like also listening to West African
Speaker 1: like and Gane and high life music and has been
Speaker 1: on this like musical personal artistic journey and you know
Speaker 1: even stuff went to Africa to like study with his
Speaker 1: grandfather to learn more about like high life music, came
Speaker 1: back and now he's got this track and it just
Speaker 1: it feels like so fucking worldly, Like it has so
Speaker 1: many dimensions of music where it's like rock and roll
Speaker 1: or African percussion and things like that, it all comes
Speaker 1: together for a really wonderful sound. So this is Brown
Speaker 1: Supremacy by Emmy obusu uh Wait, that's right after that.
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to wrap the show out, So check us
Speaker 1: out there. Also for more podcasts, check out the I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your shows.
Speaker 1: We'll be back later today to tell you what's trending.
Speaker 1: Until then, take care of yourself by