Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's launching a spinoff version of
Speaker 1: the board game Pie in the Face. Oh okay, and
Speaker 1: you can all also play this at home with your family.
Speaker 1: It's called Gong to the Groin. Oh dude, that sounds fun.
Speaker 1: Let's play. I predict this holiday season. It's going to
Speaker 1: be a huge hit. Oh did I rumber? That's a
Speaker 1: Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird news stories
Speaker 1: around the globe, just like everyone else does, except we
Speaker 1: have a laser and those other baby narcs just don't.
Speaker 1: This first laser story is out of Cleveland. Some craziness
Speaker 1: happened recently, and you'll probably all be shocked to learn
Speaker 1: it all went down at a local Walmart. I love
Speaker 1: these stories, Give it to me. Apparently, twenty seven year
Speaker 1: old Minika Garner turned down the potato chip pile and
Speaker 1: ran directly into her old neighbor, who she did not
Speaker 1: like for some reason, Precious Jackson. Before anything could be said,
Speaker 1: Minika immediately flew into a raid, trying to pull her
Speaker 1: old neighbor's mask down and spit on her. That's how
Speaker 1: in Walmart, and it's a very interesting method. But she
Speaker 1: was off target and the Lugie didn't land hit the
Speaker 1: barbecue chips behind her. She did what anyone would do
Speaker 1: next and grabbed the twenty two dollars meat log in
Speaker 1: Precious's cart and whacked her in the face with it.
Speaker 1: I hate when you get hit the face. Neat log hit.
Speaker 1: A lot of logs coups describe it as a ten
Speaker 1: pound tube of solid ground beef day like a pink
Speaker 1: night stick. Yeah and softer. Minika hit her a couple
Speaker 1: more times, like she was trying out for the Cleveland
Speaker 1: baseball team. I don't promote violence, but if you're gonna
Speaker 1: do it with beef, I don't know why. I think
Speaker 1: it's funny. Well, good news is Precious survived the beefing.
Speaker 1: Minika was arrested at the scene. She got hit with
Speaker 1: a thirty day suspended jail sentence plus probation and one
Speaker 1: hundred and fifty five dollars in fines. Do you think
Speaker 1: she went home and cooked up that beef and then
Speaker 1: started in with the story? This next laser story is
Speaker 1: out of Australia Today. We're probably the number one radio
Speaker 1: station in the whole world. With updates for the one
Speaker 1: and Only Karen's Diner we're going over this place again.
Speaker 1: You can't get enough. It's the restaurant that opened up
Speaker 1: in Australia as a riff on the whole Angry Karen thing,
Speaker 1: and now there's sixteen locations, including one in Saint Louis.
Speaker 1: Their motto is great burgers and very rude service place. Basically,
Speaker 1: they're overly bad manner to all the customers and you
Speaker 1: can complain all you want. Yeah, they tell you to
Speaker 1: ask for the manager. They really don't hair So not surprisingly,
Speaker 1: they're back in the news again because employees at a
Speaker 1: location in Melbourne are so unhappy they're asking to speak
Speaker 1: with the managers about it. I know is bad when
Speaker 1: the employees need to speak to the managers. Six current
Speaker 1: informer workers file the complaint claiming it's an unsafe work environment.
Speaker 1: Oh you're saying working in an environment of negativity all
Speaker 1: day could be bad for your mental health. Weird, right,
Speaker 1: I've never experienced that before. No, certainly not on this radio.
Speaker 1: Customers constantly threatened and harass the servers and even get
Speaker 1: violent sometimes. But when they told management, no one did anything. Duh. Yeah. Ironically,
Speaker 1: they say getting bad reviews is a constant concern, but
Speaker 1: management disagrees and says they only want bad reviews. It
Speaker 1: is kind of what you're asking for. Yeah, they're the
Speaker 1: only restaurant that's like, our rating online is too high. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we need to bring it down. So we're going to
Speaker 1: see how this ends up. I doubt it's going to
Speaker 1: be our last update on Karen's Diner. Yeah good, let's
Speaker 1: go to your next laser story out of Philadelphia. Pretty much.
Speaker 1: Alexander Tominsky never guessed he would achieve fame in one
Speaker 1: of the most unlikely of ways. For a little over
Speaker 1: a month, he challenged himself to an odd goal. He
Speaker 1: wanted to consume a rotisserie chicken, a whole rotiss erie
Speaker 1: chicken each day for forty straight days. Oh good goal.
Speaker 1: This guy is like famous. I've seen this guy. Here's
Speaker 1: a picture of him if you haven't seen him. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if somebody's gonna turn me on, you know. In the beginning,
Speaker 1: he'd finish a whole chicken in a mere twenty minutes,
Speaker 1: almost with ease, but things started to change. After a
Speaker 1: couple of weeks. He started experiencing cramps and intense bloating,
Speaker 1: and swore he could feel the pulse of his heart
Speaker 1: inside his stomach. Oh no, stop the chicken. The good
Speaker 1: thing is that he set a goal and he stuck
Speaker 1: to hi Okaya. Twenty minutes of eating time soon grew
Speaker 1: to two hours, but more and more people started watching
Speaker 1: his social media, and at the time Alex thought, this
Speaker 1: is a bit of an inconvenience for the joy that
Speaker 1: it seems to bring people. Yeah, okay, worth it, He's
Speaker 1: gonna keep going. After he completed his thirtieth day, he
Speaker 1: posted an invite to watch him eat his fortieth and
Speaker 1: final consecutive rotisserie chicken, and trudging along the big day
Speaker 1: finally arrived that he was so excited. Can you imagine
Speaker 1: for the event, His fortieth chicken sat on a table
Speaker 1: awaiting at the end of a red carpet, and the
Speaker 1: city of Philly showed up in support to cheer him
Speaker 1: on bite for bite, and once he swallowed that last
Speaker 1: piece of meat, he grabbed the empty plate and through
Speaker 1: the cheers, local officials crowned him the Philadelphia chick Man. Yeah,
Speaker 1: now this is why it's Oh my god, he looks
Speaker 1: barbaric in this last foe. He's like raising the empty
Speaker 1: plastic he even cuts he just bites it. It's not
Speaker 1: a glowing review for the all chicken diet every single day.
Speaker 1: But afterwards, the city gave him a plaque to commemorate
Speaker 1: his achievement. See those that's tax dollars that I think
Speaker 1: are at work it. You know, his next laser story
Speaker 1: is out of hypothetical land. This will start a fight
Speaker 1: if time travel was possible. Okay, which decade of your
Speaker 1: life would you choose to experience all over again? Of
Speaker 1: your life? How about your twenties or maybe go way
Speaker 1: back and become a toddler with no responsibilities again? I mean, dude,
Speaker 1: childhood probably, I mean riding bikes, scraping up my elbows.
Speaker 1: And I gotta say my thirties because that's when my
Speaker 1: kids were born. Oh you wanted to be small again.
Speaker 1: I just want to make sure if they're listening, they
Speaker 1: know mummy. Yeah. Yeah, well that's interesting you say that, Brooke,
Speaker 1: Because someone asked two thousand seniors what they do, and
Speaker 1: the top answer was go back and experience their thirties again.
Speaker 1: Like it's like I got married, I did so much.
Speaker 1: You get it. You're a happy person. Thanks, Yeah, you're
Speaker 1: going back to their twenties was the second most popular,
Speaker 1: and seniors were also asked what advice they would give
Speaker 1: their younger self if they had a chance. Some of
Speaker 1: the most common answers include, accept challenges, follow your guts,
Speaker 1: be bold, stay humble, and stay positive. I say, getting
Speaker 1: naked more often. Well. The big question was would their
Speaker 1: younger self even listen? Yeah, my younger self would not
Speaker 1: listen to me. Percent said they received solid advice from
Speaker 1: people when they were young, but they ignored it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: which reminds me of a famous quote. You will face
Speaker 1: many defeats in your life, but if you're lucky, those
Speaker 1: defeats will have their shoes left behind. That's this guy's
Speaker 1: plaque of achievement. And that sound means Laser Stories has
Speaker 1: come to an end for the day. We'll do it again,
Speaker 1: same time on Wednesday. Broke and Jeffrey in the morning.