Speaker 1: Welcome the Guys we Fund anti slut shaming pots. I'm
Speaker 1: Christina Huddy, I'm current sister, and I'm friends. Bring us
Speaker 1: to slotting your horny and your shame? He was, yes, okay,
Speaker 1: talk about what a fucker's How you doing? How you been?
Speaker 1: We're happy you're here. Welcome to another episode of Guys
Speaker 1: we Fund. It's an anti slut shaping podcast with a
Speaker 1: sweaty meatball over here because we're here. I'm Christina Hutchins.
Speaker 1: You can take you off camera. That'll solve that, alright.
Speaker 1: I don't want to lose the pussy. Wow. We see
Speaker 1: people's true intentions shining. This is my spicy meats. He
Speaker 1: has might be sure. You can't let me you know what?
Speaker 1: And you know what makes it sad? I don't think
Speaker 1: women are going to care that you said that. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, God. Anyway, welcome to the show. We're happy
Speaker 1: you're here. If you want to eat, email us it's
Speaker 1: sorry about last night show at gmail dot com. Today's
Speaker 1: subject line, I don't want to funk my husband because
Speaker 1: he will not shut up about not getting fucked. I
Speaker 1: have been there. Hey, ladies, I'll get straight to it.
Speaker 1: My husband will not stop joking about how we weren't
Speaker 1: going to have sex anyway. Oh my god, are you
Speaker 1: dating my ex? In response to everything I do? Oh
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, that's kind of funny. I just had a
Speaker 1: baby four months ago. Wow, slow down, partner. Any anyone
Speaker 1: who knows who talks about this as on an expert level,
Speaker 1: like as far as like babies and stuff, they will say,
Speaker 1: expect not to have sex for a year. Oh really
Speaker 1: is it a year? Yeah? I mean also to let
Speaker 1: the person that just popped a baby out of their
Speaker 1: hua fucking rest if they want to. That's what I say.
Speaker 1: If you've been in a relationship long enough, what's the difference?
Speaker 1: This should be Get up, comedy, get back in the spiral. Man.
Speaker 1: What heat will do to a man? Too? Literal heat?
Speaker 1: I just had a baby four months ago. Uh, and
Speaker 1: it's been a rough journey, to say the least, with
Speaker 1: PPD slash p p A trying to kill me. I
Speaker 1: have to work incredibly hard just to keep from drowning.
Speaker 1: Oh so much stress. Yeah, no one wants to under that.
Speaker 1: After an entire day of working from home while also
Speaker 1: caring for the baby, I'm fucking spent. Yeah, girl, I'm
Speaker 1: spent for you. He gets home and sees me pumping
Speaker 1: and goes, wow, I haven't seen those in a while. Oh,
Speaker 1: I would kill him. Show this, Show this to your husband.
Speaker 1: Show this, fuck you, buddy. I'm putting my middle finger
Speaker 1: to him. Yeah, it's taking his dick. That his dick off,
Speaker 1: and that's me going yourself. Actually sorry, she's now minding
Speaker 1: a tinier dick because she gave him too much leewash,
Speaker 1: pulled a real maid, put him on a pedestal traps
Speaker 1: after an entire day. Okay, um, after work, pumping from home,
Speaker 1: caring for the baby, I'm sucking spent. Yeah, I'm pumping,
Speaker 1: and he says, wow, I haven't seen those in a while.
Speaker 1: Or we'll make some other googling comment. God, he has
Speaker 1: no game that makes how did you have a baby
Speaker 1: in the first place? That makes me want to crawl
Speaker 1: out of my skin. I cannot exist around him without
Speaker 1: being sexual and it makes me physically ill. Although it
Speaker 1: may sound like I like it, I don't hate my husband.
Speaker 1: Ha ha. My sex drive immediately to save that for
Speaker 1: the court records, my sex drive immediately dropped after I
Speaker 1: got pregnant, and I've been basically been disgusted by sex. Ever,
Speaker 1: since all the comments on top really uh solidify the
Speaker 1: grossness I feel. When I talked to him about it,
Speaker 1: he said, quote, my brain is just processing it like this,
Speaker 1: even when I tell him that it hurts me and
Speaker 1: it makes me not want to have sex. So so
Speaker 1: the childbirth you didn't go through made you an asshole?
Speaker 1: I think that's sarcastically. Yeah, without putting any you know,
Speaker 1: physical labor into it from my body? Are all men
Speaker 1: just so incredibly incompetent. I'm gonna say no, but my
Speaker 1: glass is always full. Girl? Does he not care that
Speaker 1: he's it's hurting, not helping. I'm reading the book Come
Speaker 1: as you are to try and tackle some of my
Speaker 1: processing about sex, but so far, I think I'm just
Speaker 1: fed up. I mean, I'm fed up with him and
Speaker 1: he don't even know him. I'm only twenty six, so
Speaker 1: this is particularly Everyone just everyone just cried a little bit.
Speaker 1: We all got so sad that they said that this
Speaker 1: had a weight of a thirty eight year old. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and then yeah, I'm only yeah, God damn, I'm only
Speaker 1: twenty six. So this is particularly frustrating because I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm too young to already be this miserable. I
Speaker 1: gotta be said, you hate men a lot um. I
Speaker 1: don't blame you of it, but yeah, I went through
Speaker 1: this for how young you are. And I know you
Speaker 1: don't hate your husband, but ha ha, but we do.
Speaker 1: I'm also a bit late on the dumb bitch train.
Speaker 1: By five, I've already carried my husband to his dream
Speaker 1: job while living in suburban hell and starting a family.
Speaker 1: Just to realize I've completely thrown myself away to achieve this. God,
Speaker 1: I hope your kid doesn't see this big yikes. I
Speaker 1: do love being a mother getting so sad, but it
Speaker 1: really sucks to realize everything I gave up without actually
Speaker 1: being able to comprehend the decisions I was making while
Speaker 1: I was young. This is why we do the work
Speaker 1: that we do. Uh huh huh we will, we will, Girls,
Speaker 1: boys days and them's everybody. Don't get married and you
Speaker 1: don't get married before twenty five. Just don't. I would say.
Speaker 1: The good news is though you already have a baby,
Speaker 1: and like you're still so young that you still have
Speaker 1: that bad not bad, you're young, mom, that's pretty dope.
Speaker 1: I wanted to mention this because I'm sure it has
Speaker 1: to do with my lack of interest. But I'm not
Speaker 1: sure how to move forward. I don't want to hate
Speaker 1: my husband, I really don't, but I don't know what
Speaker 1: to do at this point. Thanks. PS, love the special look, girl.
Speaker 1: Not every man is like this, and the fact he's
Speaker 1: your fucking partner. He's your partner, he is raising this
Speaker 1: kid with you. He needs to be utterly respectful of
Speaker 1: where you are at sexually four months after you've popped
Speaker 1: out a baby ab whether it's through your vagina or
Speaker 1: through cesarean section, and this motherfucker has makes remarks when
Speaker 1: you're breastfeeding, when you're pumping. Tell him to go to hell.
Speaker 1: Don't tell him that, but tell my set it. That's
Speaker 1: so fucking inconsiderate. I think you can tell him to
Speaker 1: go to home. It's so fucking inconsiderate. That is so
Speaker 1: inconsiderate of what your body has been through emotionally and
Speaker 1: physically and mentally. That is insane to me. You're really
Speaker 1: going to have to let him know that this is
Speaker 1: fucking serious, that he's not respecting your boundaries and throwing
Speaker 1: these little one offlines of I guess we'll never have sex.
Speaker 1: Are you fucking kidding mad. Do you know what that
Speaker 1: does to a person? It slowly chips away at you.
Speaker 1: What are you? My mom? Don't you gotta have a
Speaker 1: serious conversation about you need to knock this the funk
Speaker 1: off and you're not sucking around Also like making a
Speaker 1: making a joke and like it. I honestly rather have
Speaker 1: someone be like, hey, stupid bitch fuck me, then make
Speaker 1: a little side remark about how they haven't, Like it's
Speaker 1: so immature. It's also it's fucking gross. That is not
Speaker 1: a man. To me, that is not sexy. He's acting
Speaker 1: like an immature boy. How could you want to fuck
Speaker 1: him when he's acting like your son? Well, the fanchise
Speaker 1: like they're so young, I'm I'm guessing perhaps maybe they
Speaker 1: are like a similar age, you know, and like he's
Speaker 1: a six year old man, but still like I've met
Speaker 1: year old men that can have respect for the fact
Speaker 1: that they're fucking wife just gave birth, Like, but who
Speaker 1: do you know who's twenty five and married? I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know about you know, I was like, it's
Speaker 1: that are not the yeah, like because the comments this,
Speaker 1: this to me feels so twenty five, like the comments
Speaker 1: like because it's like they're not You're gonna just have to.
Speaker 1: They're like not in a place where they cannot take
Speaker 1: not getting fucked, not personally, you know, and so probably
Speaker 1: not only enough to have a kid, but you did
Speaker 1: it um on you know, on their ends. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, he just does not understand the complexity of
Speaker 1: the your mental health situation, your physical situation. Like and
Speaker 1: you're you're you're really trying hard to like meet him
Speaker 1: in the middle and like meet him where he's at.
Speaker 1: But I think he needs to do some changing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think you have to. You have to. I don't, like,
Speaker 1: I don't know the extent at which you've talked to him,
Speaker 1: but you have to have like a very serious sit
Speaker 1: down conversation about postpartum, about the physicality, about what childbirth is.
Speaker 1: Get him some pamphlets, get him a book, videos, also
Speaker 1: more better he he better, There will be a quiz.
Speaker 1: Say there will be a quiz, and give him a
Speaker 1: quiz in two weeks. He also needs to understand, because
Speaker 1: he clearly doesn't because if the goal is sex, he's
Speaker 1: not going about it in a way that is sexy,
Speaker 1: not you, your body and mind not being ready. Aside,
Speaker 1: when the point comes that you already to have sex again.
Speaker 1: He needs to understand that these fucking one offer marks
Speaker 1: are so mature. That is the biggest fucking turn off.
Speaker 1: Is the biggest Oh my god, him turned off for you.
Speaker 1: And he's like, and he's he's a four month old child.
Speaker 1: Spend time with your child. I'm sure there's I would
Speaker 1: guess a thousand things to do around the house right now.
Speaker 1: It probably is. Yeah, I mean, I know it's hard,
Speaker 1: but I mean, am I gonna I'm not gonna be
Speaker 1: like leave him. It's not great for you. And also
Speaker 1: if he's young, like we're still malleable, like you, you
Speaker 1: need to like these things. These are the things in
Speaker 1: a relationship that we got to communicate. It said, like,
Speaker 1: it turns you off when he does this, and that's
Speaker 1: something that he needs to know. And I think, sadly
Speaker 1: Asia side, this is a rather a more common experience
Speaker 1: that women have than they would like. And obviously I'm
Speaker 1: sure a lot of women don't talk about it because
Speaker 1: it's kind of like embarrassing and like I just went
Speaker 1: through birth well. And also, like going back to the
Speaker 1: conversation that we were having about like the currency of
Speaker 1: boyfriend or you can call the currency of husband same thing. Um,
Speaker 1: we oftentimes make our as women, we make our heterosexual
Speaker 1: relationships sound better to other women than they actually are,
Speaker 1: because that increases the value of the currency because we
Speaker 1: don't want to be We don't want to be embarrassed there.
Speaker 1: You know, it's like and so so and so. I
Speaker 1: think I think this is a really common experience. And
Speaker 1: from listening, you know, we've heard we had we had
Speaker 1: a similar email on on Dan Savage podcast, and I
Speaker 1: think just like the reason why people aren't talking about
Speaker 1: it is because it's embarrassing because we don't want other
Speaker 1: women to know that we have a husband at home
Speaker 1: who's like not not completing the fairy tale. And I
Speaker 1: think we finally did start to talk about it, and
Speaker 1: that's why we we all had this aha moment universally
Speaker 1: where we're like, Wow, we were all sitting at home
Speaker 1: silently unhappy because we all think thought that we were
Speaker 1: all experiencing these relationships in the movies that we've seen
Speaker 1: the movies, and it was us that was sucking up
Speaker 1: and that's not true. And that's how men got away
Speaker 1: with murder, both literal and metaphorical murder. For fucking years,
Speaker 1: it's not happening anymore, hurting it more. So we gotta
Speaker 1: have conversations because that's how people grow and change, and
Speaker 1: that's how you can be closer to your husband. He
Speaker 1: needs you know, he needs to understand you need right now. Um.
Speaker 1: And it's not in them. In them, I do. Not
Speaker 1: saying they don't is giving them another excuse exactly. And
Speaker 1: I think this, like this this talking point of men
Speaker 1: being incompetent, it's not say they're not. They're you're not incompetent.
Speaker 1: They weren't incompetent. Second terry, they weren't incompetent. They wanted
Speaker 1: to build an app. They weren't when they wanted to
Speaker 1: put together there fucking two k Keen challenged, that's getting personal.
Speaker 1: You're like, You're like, like, it wasn't personal when you
Speaker 1: wanted to edit the video of you and the on
Speaker 1: your vacation, but when I wanted to do it of
Speaker 1: our vacation. Okay, now it's getting really personal. Um. Two basketball.
Speaker 1: That was the thing where we walked by it and
Speaker 1: there was a whole crowd at skiing Fest and you
Speaker 1: were like, what do they do? Are they playing video games?
Speaker 1: Like they're playing two K because they haven't grown up.
Speaker 1: That was that? Alright, Michael, Enough from you. Well I
Speaker 1: hear from a man right now. We're a little sensitive
Speaker 1: to your gender downfalls and excuses. Frankly, god God, communication
Speaker 1: is key. Communication is key. It's the last thing we
Speaker 1: end up we want to do for some reason. But
Speaker 1: I tell you you gotta do it. Yeah, you made
Speaker 1: you scrambled your DNA together. There's a human being that exists.
Speaker 1: It's half you, half him. Unless we gotta work this out,
Speaker 1: baby girl. I just I mean, and just men listening,
Speaker 1: who if you want to have kids with a woman,
Speaker 1: I mean, just fucking don't try. Know what you're gonna
Speaker 1: get into. Stick your dick into that bloody gaping hole
Speaker 1: until it's unless she wants it. Unless yeah, yeah, yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: some women when they're pregnant, their horny is fun and
Speaker 1: they're like, I've never been to horny, And then the
Speaker 1: guys like, oh my god. You know. There's pheromones and
Speaker 1: hormones and suff and then some people, some women are
Speaker 1: pregnant there like, don't even look at me, and that's
Speaker 1: fine too. Everybody reacts to these the surge of hormones
Speaker 1: and what's happening in their body, completely different. She's literally creating,
Speaker 1: creating a mini you. Respect that, please, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: you don't know what you want. It builds a bay
Speaker 1: or in mushroom stamp one of the guys who's helping
Speaker 1: you stuff the arms. You could, but you could arrest
Speaker 1: you respectful, respectful, So I don't dis someone is the
Speaker 1: same as you. Don't go to a restaurant and then
Speaker 1: called away here who's about to bring out your food
Speaker 1: a stupid clint because they're gonna spit in your food?
Speaker 1: That's true? Thank worse, thank you so much? Wow or
Speaker 1: just okay, yeah that I was like that visuals only
Speaker 1: for if you watch it on YouTube dot com. We
Speaker 1: actually do special visuals for YouTube, So if you want
Speaker 1: to see our hand gestures, you're gonna have to go
Speaker 1: to the YouTube version. A lot of jaging off YouTube
Speaker 1: dot com slash guys who sucked without the you and funk.
Speaker 1: That's also our social media handles Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter,
Speaker 1: I'm at Christina Hunch, I'm at Philanthropy, l where are
Speaker 1: you at mine? I'm at Yeah. You can also see
Speaker 1: sometimes like someone will be talking and then you can
Speaker 1: just tell them just like processing like something really big
Speaker 1: in my head while they're going through it. To watch
Speaker 1: that on YouTube, that's fine, you just call what was
Speaker 1: I thinking of that in that moment? Very interesting? Yeah,
Speaker 1: Sometimes I like listen to the show and I obviously
Speaker 1: forgot what I said, but then I'll respond in the
Speaker 1: same exact way that I ended up doing it on
Speaker 1: the show. And I was like, wow, you are very
Speaker 1: much yourself. I'm jealous, like a hilarious game. I'm so
Speaker 1: jealous of you. You don't you know do you like respond?
Speaker 1: Do you listen to the show and like kind of
Speaker 1: know what you're gonna respond with. There was a period
Speaker 1: where I would listen to the show and get so
Speaker 1: embarrassed because I kept interrupting everyone, and I looking back,
Speaker 1: I was like the worst mental health period of my life.
Speaker 1: But I thought it was the adderall. No, it was.
Speaker 1: It was it was like crazy anxiety and crazy like
Speaker 1: just depression and me trying to be like it's okay
Speaker 1: that that's what it was fueling it um and then
Speaker 1: I'm just like, oh, wow, I really And then people
Speaker 1: emailed us about it, and I'm like I want to die.
Speaker 1: I want to die, but you know what, there's only
Speaker 1: I can only go up from here. It turns out
Speaker 1: I can go lower. But you know, now you're finally
Speaker 1: understanding Mike and eyes religion. Over here, you can always
Speaker 1: go limbo. You can always be worse. Yeah, oh you're
Speaker 1: at rock bottom. Get a Shovelt challenge. Challenge accepted, gone,
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. And also you can find us and
Speaker 1: listen to us at other places, you guys. I have
Speaker 1: a Patreon where I release solo episodes of my solo podcast,
Speaker 1: The Voices in Our Heads, and I have a three
Speaker 1: to four times a month, I have Zoom group in
Speaker 1: quotes chat therapy. I'm not a license therapist, but I
Speaker 1: facilitated this group therapy that I really fucking enjoy for
Speaker 1: an hour a couple of times a month. So five
Speaker 1: dollars a month will get you that, and that's pretty cool.
Speaker 1: And also access to like all the weird classes I take.
Speaker 1: I record audio and I uploaded. Is that legal? What
Speaker 1: you know? I'm just paid for the ticket. I paid
Speaker 1: for the ticket and now I want my patrons to
Speaker 1: enjoy it. So patreon dot com slash Christina Hutchinson and
Speaker 1: then you can listen to without a Country it's my
Speaker 1: political podcast. It is on YouTube at Without a Country Podcast. UM.
Speaker 1: We talk about the news. We talk about the most
Speaker 1: important news stories of the week. It's mostly cover American
Speaker 1: news because we're doing it from the perspective of the
Speaker 1: right and the left, but we also do like a
Speaker 1: ton of a bit of international and we have a
Speaker 1: lot of Australian listeners, which I find to be very
Speaker 1: interesting UM and Canadian listeners. And we talk about animal
Speaker 1: rights and we talk about pop culture. UM. It's a
Speaker 1: great show. It kind of just like gives you a
Speaker 1: wrap up of what happened in the week, so you can,
Speaker 1: you know, have a conversation at the workplace. And that
Speaker 1: seemed like a fucking idiot. But you don't have to
Speaker 1: read all the news like we kind of skim it
Speaker 1: and find out the most important stuff for you, and
Speaker 1: we make jokes and it's fun. UM. So yeah, listen
Speaker 1: to that. And it's also available in pure audio anywhere
Speaker 1: you listen to podcasts, including Luminary, Apple, Spotify, all the places,
Speaker 1: How are You and Oh Good? We're just we're recording
Speaker 1: to interest that one. So we have to just like
Speaker 1: pretend that we had two weeks of life. But I
Speaker 1: did store things on my phone. There was I scored
Speaker 1: across an article I have subscribed to Apple News and
Speaker 1: it was I was like, yeah, I think this is
Speaker 1: one of those articles where only two who people said this,
Speaker 1: but they're trying to make a headline. People off. But
Speaker 1: it was like Taylor Swifts going on tour three, I
Speaker 1: want to move my wedding date, Like you fucking what? What? What?
Speaker 1: Don't just go see her somewhere else? But you know
Speaker 1: it's your prerogative, and you know what I I do.
Speaker 1: I'm such a fan of like having fun. Those tickets
Speaker 1: are gonna be hard to get me, those are I mean,
Speaker 1: I couldn't even get Louis Capaldi tickets. Those those sold out.
Speaker 1: He sold out all his shows in like two seconds.
Speaker 1: And he's not as big in the US, so he
Speaker 1: was only playing Radio City Music Hall here. I mean, listen,
Speaker 1: I'll get it, but it's gonna cost me a fucking
Speaker 1: fortune to get the ticket off of StubHub or whatever.
Speaker 1: If anyone has a I don't know, I didn't know.
Speaker 1: No he has like some fucking Scottish representation or is
Speaker 1: anybody work for Louis Capaldi? Can you get current tickets?
Speaker 1: Give me his phone number and that I tell him,
Speaker 1: tell him. I looked him up our compatibility on the
Speaker 1: pattern app and things. The pattern says me like you, Oh,
Speaker 1: if he doesn't run for that, maybe they are meant
Speaker 1: to be. Oh he's very weird. Okay, he's very weird,
Speaker 1: and um I like him a lot. Nice. How are
Speaker 1: you good? I got it? Have you ever okay? So
Speaker 1: have you ever gotten into your therapist head where you
Speaker 1: got your therapist to think more like you? That's a
Speaker 1: you thing. It was. It was a real win for me.
Speaker 1: My therapist, my bestie literally was telling me that she
Speaker 1: was in a session with another client and then it
Speaker 1: was a man, and she liked and no, no, no no,
Speaker 1: and she was and he was like, my life was
Speaker 1: and she started and she started thinking of me and
Speaker 1: I like these feminist ideals that I pumped into her head.
Speaker 1: And she was like, man, I really wish that Karin
Speaker 1: was here, and then and a friends and then she
Speaker 1: was like and she was like she had the feminist
Speaker 1: response that like I would agree with, which was like,
Speaker 1: how about you like self soothed for like five fucking seconds.
Speaker 1: But she was like, then I like, how to get
Speaker 1: out of that? Mindset because I needed to help him
Speaker 1: from where he was at so and like his relationship
Speaker 1: with his you know, female partner, because he basically wasn't
Speaker 1: like getting enough attention. And I was like, wow, I
Speaker 1: love everything that I'm hearing. Right, that's a problem. I like,
Speaker 1: I feel like I got too much into her head.
Speaker 1: And also I think, okay, also, and you're proud of that.
Speaker 1: I think she thinks too highly of me. So then
Speaker 1: she'll think, like she'll like, I'll give her scenarios and
Speaker 1: like she'll like definitely think they're going to work out,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I honestly don't think they are. I
Speaker 1: think you just think I'm so awesome, Like like literally
Speaker 1: at one point, she's like she like she said to
Speaker 1: me things like she's not you, And I go, are
Speaker 1: we are in love? But are we in love? And
Speaker 1: I go, I go, do I agree with you? Obviously?
Speaker 1: But is that the way that the world actually works
Speaker 1: and functions? And this is some advice going to help me?
Speaker 1: I don't how do right? Percent? Right? But does she
Speaker 1: help you in therapy? Honestly, I'm just there to complain
Speaker 1: for an hour so that I don't have to complain
Speaker 1: to someone I know in real life, right right right,
Speaker 1: And that's that's really all therapies for me, guilt free
Speaker 1: complaining every every now and then every man should try
Speaker 1: it show like recommend like a book or like like
Speaker 1: give me a little line or something that's helpful. But
Speaker 1: most of all, it's just me airing my grievances, which
Speaker 1: makes me have better relationships with the people around because
Speaker 1: I don't hold in the resentment. And then it's like
Speaker 1: let the air out of the tire. Other than that,
Speaker 1: it's me. It's like, you know, me working out a
Speaker 1: bit by talking it out at an open mic, like
Speaker 1: ultimately I'm coming to the conclusion by myself. We have
Speaker 1: very different therapy sessions. And then like sometimes obviously with
Speaker 1: like things like O c D. Like she introduced me
Speaker 1: to tapping and stuff, which actually is very helpful. I'm like,
Speaker 1: we'll meditate a little bit, you know, that kind of
Speaker 1: stuff is good. But yeah, no overall, yeah, she'll be
Speaker 1: like you're great, You're good enough, and I'm like, that
Speaker 1: was never an issue right now, this is what am
Speaker 1: I at Soul Cycle in the Hampton's. Yeah, She'll like
Speaker 1: you are safe. I go, I know, I'm in my house.
Speaker 1: I'm fine, like what, like I I don't need these
Speaker 1: kind of thought like things to say, like don't be
Speaker 1: a quiet moment, and she'll be like, are you afraid
Speaker 1: that everyone you love will leave you? I go not,
Speaker 1: like what just funny to me? I go, yeah, and
Speaker 1: I've never even crossed my mind, untild, you just brought
Speaker 1: it up right now. It just makes me laugh. It's
Speaker 1: also it's such interesting insight though. A therapist response to
Speaker 1: me is such interesting insight into what other people are
Speaker 1: going through because I know, obviously it's a it's a
Speaker 1: numbers game. She's giving me the answer that's most likely
Speaker 1: to soothe me. She doesn't. No one is an expert
Speaker 1: in anybody else, you know, and so and so when
Speaker 1: she gives me these answers that I'm sure soothing too
Speaker 1: many other people, I'm like, wow, everyone's real fucked up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's true. They are, and they are every day is
Speaker 1: a struggle. Like I was just like, that's just not
Speaker 1: and then I'll just like get off this zoom and
Speaker 1: I'll be like, well, at least I'm not those other people.
Speaker 1: That those responses were true. So therapy didn't work in
Speaker 1: the way that it was intended. To, but it still worked.
Speaker 1: You know, I gotta live therapy. It's just funny to me.
Speaker 1: You know what's funny to me, these guys the interview
Speaker 1: you're about to sucking here. Oh my god, you guys.
Speaker 1: Krand and I we went to skang Fest a Las
Speaker 1: Vegas and it was everything we thought it would be more.
Speaker 1: It was fucking fantastic. I lost a lot of virginity.
Speaker 1: Is no no hole Virginia. I was like acid Virginia
Speaker 1: and crowdsurfing Virginia at the exact same time. It was great.
Speaker 1: It was great. I feel like I had a laugh gas.
Speaker 1: It was awesome. One of the other awesome things was
Speaker 1: the live recordings of guys we fu were fucking fire. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're really excited to present you this first one. Ladies
Speaker 1: and gentlemen, please welcome to show. Karen Fihan and Chloe
Speaker 1: Labranch keeting. He goes, even though there's nowhere else to go,
Speaker 1: Leiland keep keeping, he goes, and no, there's no one
Speaker 1: pres for me. We come so fine, just throw it
Speaker 1: all away. There's a filly you that must feel the same. Lord,
Speaker 1: it's so much of life you need to rush. You
Speaker 1: can take a time feet on the ground. Good, nice
Speaker 1: is through. I shall be keep pain in lie eating.
Speaker 1: He goes, and no, there's nowhere else to go, keeping
Speaker 1: me close and there's no one else for leaving. You
Speaker 1: always be so hard shilling. What's your side? And no, no,
Speaker 1: he broke your hard your side? He listen. If I'm open,
Speaker 1: you just take fully with you. I'm holding on to
Speaker 1: the best thing. Fine goods. How we do in Las Vegas.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, we're gonna have Oh, We're gonna have so
Speaker 1: much fun with you. Hello, I can't see anyone that
Speaker 1: you could could be three p well, here could be five,
Speaker 1: We don't really know. Somewhere between there, somewhere between there.
Speaker 1: It sounds like three um, hello you guys, so round
Speaker 1: of applause. Who's here because you're a fan of guys
Speaker 1: we fucked? Thank you? And then who's here because they
Speaker 1: want to see us fail? That's actually you're honesty, and
Speaker 1: I appreciate your honesty. And I knew that there would
Speaker 1: be one. Maybe if we caught them off guard, they
Speaker 1: would just clap at the wrong party. Maybe they're hoping
Speaker 1: to hate buck us later. Yeah, pretty good sex. That's
Speaker 1: the only kind of sex I have. Yeah, right, hate
Speaker 1: fucking yeah. It's and it's more just because people don't
Speaker 1: like me. But I'm fine with that. I never hate. Really,
Speaker 1: it's fun. You should try it. Yeah, I can't get
Speaker 1: it up for guys. I don't like people come so fast.
Speaker 1: That was unexpected. I did feel so beautiful. It's just
Speaker 1: so different than being in New York and New York
Speaker 1: it's like the hottest You're surrounded by the most beautiful
Speaker 1: women all the time, and I just feel like a monster.
Speaker 1: Yeah it's fine, Like I don't care. But man in Vegas,
Speaker 1: bell of the ball baby, yeah fu Yeah, I'm a
Speaker 1: sucking ten in Vegas. Give me that. I'm such a
Speaker 1: I'm such a slut for compliments. You are? You love compliments,
Speaker 1: little cat. I actually like when people are mean to me.
Speaker 1: Like there was a couple um instances at the festival
Speaker 1: so far when people, you know, shook my hand and
Speaker 1: I could see in their eyes that they were like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're not as fat as I thought you were, And
Speaker 1: I really like that. That got me off. But you
Speaker 1: know what, I you know, I do feel beautiful here
Speaker 1: because this is a place, you know. I just like
Speaker 1: to stand under the sign that says three fifty pounds
Speaker 1: and over eats free right right in a restaurant where
Speaker 1: everyone has to a hospital gown. Right. I just realized,
Speaker 1: try to find me a husband that makes me cry,
Speaker 1: makes you wet? Yeah, it makes you cry, yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: right like it used to be bad or whatever. I'd
Speaker 1: be like, oh, like that's really fun. Yeah, because if
Speaker 1: someone says something like that to you, you know, you
Speaker 1: don't have to treat them with decency. And that's really
Speaker 1: what I'm looking for in a partner, you know, right
Speaker 1: right right right right? Anyone getting erect or I was
Speaker 1: here to hate watches definitely is he's Jufle pete Wee Herman. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know like those like the like we Sarah Lynch
Speaker 1: who has like the nagging line where like men will
Speaker 1: call her just to be ignored. Like so that So
Speaker 1: if you like that, but you also want the inconvenience
Speaker 1: of a relationship, see me after the show, just like
Speaker 1: I won't text you back, but I'll expect a reservation
Speaker 1: on Valentine's Day someplace good too. It's so beautifully complicated.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I love it. Um. I've been
Speaker 1: reading this book about d MT. This. This is called
Speaker 1: The Spirit molecule. I'm really into psychedelics and aliens and
Speaker 1: ship and uh, it turns out there related but wait
Speaker 1: psychedelic what it's psychedelics and aliens. Man, there's like this
Speaker 1: alien abduction phenomenon and all these DMT studies and I
Speaker 1: was like, what the fuck did alien? Oh, if the
Speaker 1: aliens try to abduct me, I'd be so happy, give
Speaker 1: me the funk out of here, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: You like, but what if they tried to do tests
Speaker 1: on you? Would would be okay with that? Okay? Yeah?
Speaker 1: The only special the only experience I've ever had with
Speaker 1: d m T was that my ex boyfriend and I
Speaker 1: did d m T and then he got really into
Speaker 1: Q and on. So I would say, my experience is
Speaker 1: more negative. How many people tonight here parting on the
Speaker 1: surprise that's amazing you guys. Where he got really into
Speaker 1: Q and on and then um, and then I broke
Speaker 1: up with him and he said that's okay, would never
Speaker 1: work because you're doing And I was like, honestly, like,
Speaker 1: not the worst thing that's been said to me at
Speaker 1: the end of a relationship. I'll take it. You know.
Speaker 1: It's like nice when people give you feedback and you're
Speaker 1: like unfixable. It's part. But you have his book on
Speaker 1: d m T there I'm reading. There's a chapter just
Speaker 1: on tantric sex, and I was kind of surprised by that.
Speaker 1: Then what does tantric sex have to do with d MT?
Speaker 1: Turns out that's the one way you can have a
Speaker 1: psychedelic experience without a psychedelic and so I just wanted
Speaker 1: to pose wrote this book a professor. Yeah, I feel
Speaker 1: like you could just write professor on anything. I didn't look. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna look that ship up sucking lie to me,
Speaker 1: I'll believe it. Whatever. Yeah, there's a couple of doctors
Speaker 1: in the room right now. Yeah, but I was like interesting,
Speaker 1: And then I wanted to ask the group, has anybody
Speaker 1: in here had to have any experience with tan trick sex?
Speaker 1: So I made a fart with their mouths, So that
Speaker 1: was good. Wait, what are you are you laughing as
Speaker 1: if like tantric sex doesn't exist. Oh it's Chelsea, hi girl,
Speaker 1: She said, not in my experience, no one could stay
Speaker 1: erect that long. Well, yeah, you got those big old
Speaker 1: titties girlfriends. Yeah, younger guy, apparently they get it hard
Speaker 1: all the time. Yeah, yeah, good for good for you,
Speaker 1: wonderful that's about no one's tried. No one's tried it.
Speaker 1: No one said, well, we can't see your hands, So
Speaker 1: if you want to make annoy no, I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't know that many people in this room have had sex.
Speaker 1: And for being honest, based off that laft, you might
Speaker 1: be correct. There you go. I mean one of the
Speaker 1: segments they did on another podcast was I think like
Speaker 1: getting one of the gas usual interns to have sex
Speaker 1: so on stage. No, I would think it was in
Speaker 1: a hotel room. But you know, well, that's my section
Speaker 1: on tantric sex. Everyone want to ask you, guys, if
Speaker 1: you knew anything about it. I guess I'll do my
Speaker 1: own research, which you know I will. I just you know,
Speaker 1: I like to hear about how things go. For that
Speaker 1: is the thickest shape cloud. Wow, sir, just like a
Speaker 1: fairy godmother is going to appear. That's why I feel
Speaker 1: like some fucking fairy commother smokes. I feel. I feel
Speaker 1: like anyone has to be on a substance to deal
Speaker 1: with us for the next hour and a half. That's
Speaker 1: why I consistently date addicts and I go, well, that
Speaker 1: checks out. You can't be doing that under normal circumstances.
Speaker 1: Uh so does any I think we can get into
Speaker 1: the interactive segments on the show. We like to do
Speaker 1: an interactive show here at skank Fust and we got prizes.
Speaker 1: We do have prizes and uh yeah, So are you
Speaker 1: guys drinking? Are you guys in toxic? What's happening? Where
Speaker 1: are you at? Are you tired? You want to go home?
Speaker 1: Because the thing the skang Fest is like there, we're
Speaker 1: all aging together. It's not like they're booking young comics.
Speaker 1: We're all just getting into our forties. So and you
Speaker 1: feel it as the festival goes on, you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: people are going to bed earlier. They're like, oh, you know,
Speaker 1: it sounds nice before goddamn comedy Chase going to bed.
Speaker 1: That feels because I was like, I got a late
Speaker 1: night tomorrow. I'm singing. I'm singing at the jam at midnight,
Speaker 1: singing down with the sickness is gonna be awesome, So
Speaker 1: you'd better be No, it's gonna be incredible tonight tonight.
Speaker 1: I decided, not now, obviously, but like tonight is the
Speaker 1: night that I get fucked up, okay, right, Like I
Speaker 1: just I didn't like that woo that was the wooze.
Speaker 1: I'll be right here in the corner. That's the woo
Speaker 1: Someone who's gonna try to finger you, which has been
Speaker 1: a bit of an epidemic in the female comedy community,
Speaker 1: just people getting fingered, as I kept, man, I finger
Speaker 1: you man. You know it's just speaking of This is
Speaker 1: a perfect intro, yes, because we like to be educational
Speaker 1: here on guys, the last stuff doesn't get talked about.
Speaker 1: And you know we're we're obviously, you know, trying to
Speaker 1: talk about all the things to prevent bad things from happening.
Speaker 1: And so we want to do a segment where we
Speaker 1: need three male volunteers to come up on stage this segment.
Speaker 1: Can you can we raise the house light? It's a
Speaker 1: little bit so we can see. I mean, listen, I
Speaker 1: agree with you esthetically, but we need to run the show. Um.
Speaker 1: I shouldn't be a tent, you know. Um alrighty that
Speaker 1: hurt their fewings. Okay, UM, so your men, um men
Speaker 1: don't have feelings. You know, I'm just saying like I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm just basically, any woman is better looking than the man. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, you you raising your hat with the white shirt? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you bald daddy. Love it that? Two more? Two more men?
Speaker 1: Two more men? Okay two? Okay, Well there we go. Yeah,
Speaker 1: come up on the stage, you guys. Did you just
Speaker 1: stand up and then say where by this microphone? Should
Speaker 1: we do that? Yeah? You can wait by the microphone.
Speaker 1: We're gonna do one at a time. Basically, we're gonna
Speaker 1: present you some scenarios, uh, some different scenarios. This is
Speaker 1: this segment is called how Not to Rape, and so
Speaker 1: we did trick you into this. Um. It's being filmed
Speaker 1: and it will be clipped up for Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 1: So you know the good thing about skank Fast is
Speaker 1: there's a very higher chance that you don't have a job,
Speaker 1: so there's nothing to lose. Okay, contest the number one.
Speaker 1: What's your name? Evan? Evan, Hi, Evan, Happy, skank beast,
Speaker 1: Glad to have you here, Thanks for coming. Um. Okay,
Speaker 1: So we're gonna give you a little scenario and then
Speaker 1: you're just gonna tell us how you would react. So, Evan,
Speaker 1: We're at a nightclub, okay, and I'm in a mini
Speaker 1: skirt and I'm bent over, but you notice that my
Speaker 1: pussy is hanging out just hanging out in the wind.
Speaker 1: You know that mini skirt? How do you not rape me? Uh?
Speaker 1: Anything but rape hesitated. I would normally find another girl
Speaker 1: to tell her that her pussy is hanging out. Wow, okay,
Speaker 1: so find another girl to said Okay, okay. I love
Speaker 1: the round of applause. Yeah, are you gay? Evan? Uh? Okay,
Speaker 1: but there's a hesitation there, as if you're thinking about it.
Speaker 1: I'm right, okay, what a faggot? Okay. I liked that
Speaker 1: he wanted another woman to give me the news, right,
Speaker 1: So I appreciated that part. Thank you, Evan. Okay, let's
Speaker 1: pass the microphone. Hi, Here we go, don't leave. Here
Speaker 1: we go. It's a good way to start a rape.
Speaker 1: I feel like a rape might feel less bad. Is it?
Speaker 1: Here we go? Um, I'm in Um they're walking a
Speaker 1: tight rope my friends. Okay, Um, what's your name? My
Speaker 1: name is Cole? Okay, Canada? Okay, they do right there?
Speaker 1: Thank you different because you're fucking Canadian? Right okay, right,
Speaker 1: you're right. Rape is the one thing that internationally brings
Speaker 1: us all together. Um that in but holes, because we
Speaker 1: all have one rape butt holes. And I would say
Speaker 1: McDonald's most likely, Um, alright, so cool. It's our first
Speaker 1: day and I got really wasted and can barely talk,
Speaker 1: possibly based on true events. Um, but I managed to
Speaker 1: tell you that I want to suck your dick? How
Speaker 1: do you not rape me? I gotta call my dad
Speaker 1: on that one. Explain. Yeah, what's the backstory? There's I
Speaker 1: love my dad. He's my go to? Is your dad?
Speaker 1: Crystal Leo? No head of knot? You need a phone
Speaker 1: a friend to figure out how not to rape my daddy?
Speaker 1: You know he's your direction. Did you just say daddy? Wait?
Speaker 1: Is it like your daddy or like your father? Your
Speaker 1: father Brock? How do I handle this? Your father's name
Speaker 1: is Brock Brock Brock like Brock Turner the rapist? Yeah,
Speaker 1: And then they came full circle of digital penetration on warranty?
Speaker 1: Is still ripe? Okay? Wow? So what so what would
Speaker 1: you on the phone say to your daddy? Literally I
Speaker 1: forgot the question. It's basically like, how do I not rape? Yeah?
Speaker 1: So he's gonna take a long draw from his cigarette
Speaker 1: and he's gotta go. We got a writer on her hands.
Speaker 1: Here's what you're going to do, son, And then he's
Speaker 1: gonna say that he's gonna he's gonna say, don't fucking
Speaker 1: raper right from your dad? So why don't we go home?
Speaker 1: Go back to your hotel? Yeah? Right? Why are you
Speaker 1: in a hotel in this scenario so they don't have
Speaker 1: the address of the rapist? Yeah, I'm not dating. I'm
Speaker 1: not going on a date with a guys staying in
Speaker 1: a hotel. I thought this was role play. Well yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, but we just said we we just said
Speaker 1: it's our first date. So you're dating people outside of
Speaker 1: your zip code so that you can go to a
Speaker 1: different place where it's harder to find you. And then
Speaker 1: I call my dad, right, you call your dad. It's yeah,
Speaker 1: it's the rapious answer out of two answers. Where's that
Speaker 1: other guy? He's right there behind you, not raping. Do
Speaker 1: you want me to fix this for you? Well, you
Speaker 1: get your own scenario, daddy. Okay, yeah cool, that mustache
Speaker 1: that it all past my past. Thanks for participating. Don't leave.
Speaker 1: What's your name, sir, Matt? What's up? I'm okay? So Matt,
Speaker 1: you hit on me in a bar and I end
Speaker 1: up bullying you, targeting your deepest, physical, emotional, and intellectual
Speaker 1: insecurities like no one ever has before, how do you
Speaker 1: not rape me? I'm too her to think about that.
Speaker 1: Oh I like it. It was a quick answer and
Speaker 1: also a good one. That was a good one for Christina.
Speaker 1: She loves an emotional man and that was so nice. Okay, okay, three, well,
Speaker 1: two good answers, we thought so. Yeah, So I think
Speaker 1: I think Cole needs to get some kind of like
Speaker 1: an ex put on his hand or something for the
Speaker 1: rest of the festival for rapists. Yea, the scarlet are
Speaker 1: that's the book coming out of skaning Fest. Okay, all right,
Speaker 1: so we need to pick a winner, and we need
Speaker 1: to pick a winner. Okay, so let's see what the
Speaker 1: audience thinks first, and then we'll ultimately veto whatever you
Speaker 1: think and make our own decision. Yeah, we might agree
Speaker 1: with you, we don't know. So only please only clap
Speaker 1: for one person, and this is the person who you think,
Speaker 1: uh is the least rate least likely to rape one
Speaker 1: of us. Okay, so round of applause. If you think
Speaker 1: Evan is least likely to rape sounds promising. I don't
Speaker 1: know that you want to go like this? Um, all right,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. A number two clap if you
Speaker 1: think Cole is the least likely to write. That's fucking hilarious. Uh,
Speaker 1: we're on the same page, audience, all right, and clap
Speaker 1: if you think Matt is the least likeliest to rape. Wow,
Speaker 1: thank you all three for your participation. But Matt, you
Speaker 1: are the lucky winner of a bless a BuzzFeed air
Speaker 1: Vibe Discreete series of Brilliant five concealed in a discrete
Speaker 1: disc that bends seamlessly with your accessories. Because pleasure is personal,
Speaker 1: you can give it to a lady you love in
Speaker 1: your life. Yeah. Yes, you like giving men's sex toys
Speaker 1: for women because we like forging, you know, alliances between
Speaker 1: straight men and straight women. Are you guys talking a
Speaker 1: out not raping or what are you doing? You're welcome
Speaker 1: to share, but it's your choice. Well, maybe you should
Speaker 1: tell your girlfriend I could have bought you something if
Speaker 1: I was the least likely to rape, but you're not.
Speaker 1: It turns out I came in second place. Yeah, guys,
Speaker 1: give these guys a round of a pause. You're brave.
Speaker 1: Someone keep an eye on cold for the duration. Alright, Um,
Speaker 1: all right now I think we kept time for the
Speaker 1: second one, right, okay, all right, so we have another
Speaker 1: interactive segment. This one is if you if you think
Speaker 1: of yourself as like a really like person who's into
Speaker 1: music and understands poetry, um, emotional intelligence. This is we
Speaker 1: need some men who exhibit that can demonstrates for us. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: and this is not open ended. If that makes you,
Speaker 1: guys feel more comfortable. We're you'll just be responding to
Speaker 1: something and it's not We're not putting you on the
Speaker 1: spot in the same way as how do you not
Speaker 1: rape me? Yeah, this is more like intense. This is
Speaker 1: like an interpretation like you're in like in an English
Speaker 1: you know, lip class from very g rated segments. Right,
Speaker 1: a little prood for us, honestly, but you know what,
Speaker 1: men's minds are sexy too nice, sticking right right right,
Speaker 1: and we'd like to come on stage. I think we
Speaker 1: just need to volunteers. Probably on the rape seg we
Speaker 1: probably should have saved the rate. Yeah, it's let this guy.
Speaker 1: This guy just wants the women to stop talking. So
Speaker 1: he's like, I guess I'll just get up and then
Speaker 1: backwards cap to see one more. Are you taking a sugar?
Speaker 1: You coming to this stage? You're okay, okay, so very great, great,
Speaker 1: thank you so much, so in this segment. This segment
Speaker 1: is called men have feelings too? But what are they?
Speaker 1: What are they? So we're just gonna give you each
Speaker 1: a song lyric from a song that makes us emotional,
Speaker 1: that makes us think, that makes us pensive, you know, introspective,
Speaker 1: and we want to know, upon hearing that song lyric,
Speaker 1: what that lyric means to you? Um, like, what do
Speaker 1: you get out of it? So? What's your name? Contest
Speaker 1: the number one? Corey? And what do you do for
Speaker 1: a living? I work machines, work for vending machines them, Oh,
Speaker 1: you repair them? Okay, okay, what's the craziest vending machine
Speaker 1: issue you ever saw? Three weeks? I don't know. The
Speaker 1: mountain dew got real. The products just spill everywhere, spill everywhere.
Speaker 1: To your job is like putting sonships back in kind
Speaker 1: of Oh I thought it was like a technical thing,
Speaker 1: like the spirals don't give you the food, but the
Speaker 1: majority of it is, you know, just putting the sun
Speaker 1: chips back. Okay, all right, okay, And then how do
Speaker 1: you explain that? Like on are you on dating apps? No?
Speaker 1: My wife is right here, okay, oh yeah, you wiped
Speaker 1: it up. Good for you, right, right, right, yeah, okay, alright, alright,
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you a lyric and
Speaker 1: then you say, like, what what about it speaks to you?
Speaker 1: What does it mean to you? You know, if you
Speaker 1: have a story, whatever you want. Uh, you promised the
Speaker 1: world and I fell for it. I put you first
Speaker 1: and you adored it. Set fires to my forest and
Speaker 1: you let it burn saying off key in my chorus
Speaker 1: because it wasn't yours? What does that mean? Too much
Speaker 1: emotion over? Can we do two lines? Do you want
Speaker 1: to do one line at a time and we'll walk
Speaker 1: you through. Do you want to hold my handuring this?
Speaker 1: Or okay, okay, No, Honestly I love that because if
Speaker 1: I were you too, I'd be like, you're not touching
Speaker 1: my man, get off. Obviously you're not familiar with me
Speaker 1: that they hate me holding his hand would because life
Speaker 1: are way worse. It's true. Uh, you promised the world
Speaker 1: and I fell for it. I put you first, and
Speaker 1: you adored it. Uh promise something didn't it didn't happen?
Speaker 1: So I promise? What do we think? Like like that
Speaker 1: they were going to approve for a house, sir, Happy
Speaker 1: life mortgage, happy life, A happy life. Okay, so jealous
Speaker 1: of your simplicity set fires to my forest? Carpet burn?
Speaker 1: Was that really what you thought, Corey, Corey, you know
Speaker 1: there's not. There's not. You don't have an emotional line
Speaker 1: of work, so maybe it's just not. I mean, I
Speaker 1: think I think you can tell, like from context close,
Speaker 1: this is a ballad, and you think they're talking about
Speaker 1: carpet burn in a And why was the carpet burning
Speaker 1: happening because she was getting fucked on the carpet or
Speaker 1: where what was happening? She her n her knees from
Speaker 1: that blowjob she gave. Is it just to lesbian scissoring
Speaker 1: so hard that fire starts? Yeah? Wow, it's always lesbians
Speaker 1: doing something. Okay, I will give him credit that he
Speaker 1: didn't actually think like a forest was on fire, like
Speaker 1: smoking the bear? But what is it? And then saying
Speaker 1: off key in my chorus because it wasn't yours? Like, God,
Speaker 1: I'm such a clear I know what that means? You know,
Speaker 1: do you? What is that lyrican to you? Jealous of
Speaker 1: what you're doing compared to what I'm doing? Okay, that's close.
Speaker 1: Basically like I dim my own life because it's gonna
Speaker 1: upset you. So, yeah, that's that's a yeah you apse.
Speaker 1: And the fun the fun thing about that lyric has
Speaker 1: actually was straightforward because justin Bieber staying off key in
Speaker 1: her chorus Yeah yeah, yeah, you phoned it in big time. Okay,
Speaker 1: and then then next one yeah, oh that's it. That's it.
Speaker 1: That's a lyric. Okay. So that's your assessment of the lyric.
Speaker 1: All right, give Corey around of applause. That's great. Okay,
Speaker 1: past that, Mike, baby boy, how long ago did you
Speaker 1: get married? Corey? Seven and a half years ago? It's
Speaker 1: not taking okay, um, it's like, oh, I love is
Speaker 1: for you. I'm sorry? What no new campus? Sit back down?
Speaker 1: Absolutely not okay, alright. Contestant number two, what is your name?
Speaker 1: I'm Cody? Cody? Okay, Um, why did you choose to
Speaker 1: wear your hat backwards today? Because I'm lame? Nice? I
Speaker 1: thought you're gonna say, because I'm Cody, because you're lame?
Speaker 1: And how old are you? Already? Rough? Okay? Um hard
Speaker 1: believe it or not. I'm a I'm a father, So
Speaker 1: that's why. That's why I'm here. That's why wait, that's
Speaker 1: why you look rough. I would love to see a
Speaker 1: picture before that's that song because I don't know or daughter,
Speaker 1: because I don't know that that's true. But I'm going
Speaker 1: to take you on your word. Oh you're a father
Speaker 1: of two. Okay, where are your kids right now? In
Speaker 1: a hotel room by themselves? I was like, yeah, round
Speaker 1: of the clause, that's a joke. Okay, um, all right?
Speaker 1: And then are you married? No? Are you single? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Were you ever? She doesn't know what it is? Kind
Speaker 1: of mean. I just started seeing a girl for like
Speaker 1: the last three months, the last few how many months? Three?
Speaker 1: Oh three? You said for you? Okay, so three and
Speaker 1: you haven't been like first day yea, the first day?
Speaker 1: Oh fucked her? Ye? We mean called her girlfriendis and
Speaker 1: hesitant why she's roommates with a six year old man
Speaker 1: who she claims they're just best friends. That's her sugar natty,
Speaker 1: that's her sugar daddy. Yeah. And then oh we've all
Speaker 1: worked together. Oh weird? What do you do vending machines? Ves?
Speaker 1: It's just as boring. I deliver mail, You deliver. That's cool, man,
Speaker 1: that's fine. Sine Are you do you live in Las Vegas? Phoenix?
Speaker 1: Outside of Phoenix? I like that? He said Phoenix, Like, no,
Speaker 1: it's like Las Vegas, but it's in a different stay okay,
Speaker 1: Phoenix right next door? Okay, so Phoenix, and um does okay,
Speaker 1: And then that's where the girl lives. To the woman
Speaker 1: your dating lives. Is there a big like sex work
Speaker 1: thing going on in Phoenix? I don't know. I don't
Speaker 1: think she's a sex worker. I just think she has
Speaker 1: a thing for older dudes. But you're not old. That's
Speaker 1: the thing, right, Okay? So what you think that she
Speaker 1: He's trying to get two boyfriends and one is a
Speaker 1: sixth strong man and the other one is you like this?
Speaker 1: I think I like her too. She's very sweet and kind.
Speaker 1: But I asked her straight up if she had slept
Speaker 1: with him. She told me no. I found out from
Speaker 1: other people that they probably have. Okay, question was she
Speaker 1: like no? Or was she like it? It was through
Speaker 1: snapchat text? Oh see to get an inflection, is still
Speaker 1: on snapchat? That's like a twenty year old thing I'm
Speaker 1: holding on. Okay? And so we so through these other people.
Speaker 1: Are these other postal workers? Yes? Are you serious? But
Speaker 1: how would they? Is she postal worker? Yes? Okay? So
Speaker 1: definitely interesting and and the six year old man is
Speaker 1: also a postal worker. I know you're straight, but is
Speaker 1: he hot? Is he like a hot sixty's okay? So
Speaker 1: he's a normally sixty You're fine? Okay? Does that make
Speaker 1: you feel bad? That it makes I want to be exclusive?
Speaker 1: But I you know that she already like started off
Speaker 1: with a lie, right right? I don't know, but you
Speaker 1: didn't stopped putting it in. I kind of already assumed
Speaker 1: that I was cool with it, and then I asked
Speaker 1: her and then she told me no, And I'm like,
Speaker 1: you don't believe her? Yeah, And that's not a good
Speaker 1: way to start a relationship, right, Yeah, But how you
Speaker 1: got to know? It could be you could be thinking
Speaker 1: it's a lie. It could it could you don't know
Speaker 1: if it's a lie or not. You know what I'm saying, Like, really,
Speaker 1: I don't even want to ask her again. I just
Speaker 1: want to like forget about will she ever move out from? Like?
Speaker 1: I love that answer because it was so heterosexual. Exist, Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's in. She told me she's looking at apartments already,
Speaker 1: she's leaving. Okay, have you so you've been in the
Speaker 1: room with them together? No, okay, I was gonna ask
Speaker 1: you sense the sexual So you've never been to her apartment, No,
Speaker 1: but I should, right yeah, status dominance? Right yeah, or
Speaker 1: just go to a place where she lives. I mean,
Speaker 1: you've been didating for three months at my own place,
Speaker 1: so just easier for her to come on, right, But
Speaker 1: say hey, babe, let's cook dinner at your place tonight
Speaker 1: and then see how they interact, and that'll give you
Speaker 1: your answer. It's also weird that going to your girlfriend's
Speaker 1: house you interpreted as establishing dominance. Yeah, he's sixty, What
Speaker 1: do you do? Go piss on the wall when you
Speaker 1: walk in, Sir, I'm gonna go to his medicine cabine
Speaker 1: to take is just for men and this by average. Yeah,
Speaker 1: now you're grant and soft. Oh my god, that was
Speaker 1: so crazy. Okay, I just forgot we were in a
Speaker 1: segment where we are well, oh I had one more question.
Speaker 1: Good for this, just because you're really interesting. Um, what
Speaker 1: what happened to the She's okay? But what happens to
Speaker 1: the mother of your children? Is it the same mom
Speaker 1: for both kids? So what what? What's the deal with her?
Speaker 1: Are you over married? We call you a kid. We
Speaker 1: were all trying to be making up things that we're
Speaker 1: not going to ask about again. So the whole reason
Speaker 1: why I'm hesitant because she lied to me, uh my
Speaker 1: ex cheated and lied to me several times, and I'm
Speaker 1: an idiot that kept going back like relationship PTSD. Yeah yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: right right right right? Okay, well you know, if I know,
Speaker 1: you're not asking for advice on this, but you could
Speaker 1: even say that like women, that's why I'm actually at
Speaker 1: the show. I needed advice. Yeah okay, well perfect, So
Speaker 1: you could say, like, he had a really bad experience
Speaker 1: in my last relationship, and it really threw me for
Speaker 1: a loop. I wanted to believe this woman so bad.
Speaker 1: And there's just some hesitancy with you and the storyline
Speaker 1: you're giving me for with your roommate, And so I
Speaker 1: was just can we talk about that? Like I just
Speaker 1: I can't. I like you and I would like to
Speaker 1: move forward, but there's a bump in the road from
Speaker 1: me here. I did that, except I just said, get
Speaker 1: your ship together. Well okay, all right, a little Hallmark
Speaker 1: card writer over here, get your ship together? How old
Speaker 1: is she? I knew she was in her twenties. Okay,
Speaker 1: but how did you know that because she's a roommate. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she has well, she has a roommate and she and
Speaker 1: you said get her your ship together to her, and
Speaker 1: she didn't punch you in the literally, she literally said,
Speaker 1: fair enough. Oh what she's having a hard time. She's
Speaker 1: fallen upon. Can you imagine him walking in with his
Speaker 1: backwards having together. I got two kids. I got two
Speaker 1: kids in a bald spot to cover? So, oh god, alright,
Speaker 1: very much? Does not have a want us to know?
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say not very much. It's a pattern starting here,
Speaker 1: but we'll pretend we didn't. Women don't give a ship.
Speaker 1: I don't care. Okay, okay, So yes, this is uh,
Speaker 1: this is a lyric for you. Uh what would you risk?
Speaker 1: Would you put up the car taste my Nana in
Speaker 1: the rain on the hood of your car, or the
Speaker 1: back of the plane my Dr Seuss all out bent
Speaker 1: over the sink with my panties in your mouth? What
Speaker 1: does that mean to you that that woman needs some dick?
Speaker 1: I would say that's an accurate interpretation. Well I would
Speaker 1: say that, okay, So I would say that, like, okay,
Speaker 1: but what like when you say she needs dick? Does
Speaker 1: she want to suck a dick? Does she want to
Speaker 1: sit on a dick? Does she want to do something
Speaker 1: to her everywhere all the time? Okay, okay, emotionally intelligent? Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I would say that primarily she wants um, honey Lingus,
Speaker 1: but yeah, everything? Yeah, And is that something that is
Speaker 1: that something that you would be willing to give someone
Speaker 1: Honny Lingus? Yeah? I did it to the girl I've
Speaker 1: been seeing. You did it to the girl you've been seeing? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Did you say I'll do it to you now? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we've Yeah, we've read how many men? How many men
Speaker 1: in here perform oral sex on women? God bless you?
Speaker 1: And how many? But how many do it for rushing
Speaker 1: with one guy? Wow? I don't admit that. Hell yeah, honestly,
Speaker 1: like this is the safe space. I don't even care.
Speaker 1: Every blow job I've ever given has been grudging, right,
Speaker 1: no complaints. They don't care. They don't care if you're
Speaker 1: having a good time, alright, cool, alright, great, thank you
Speaker 1: so much, And now we will do we will do
Speaker 1: a vote with the audience. So who do you think
Speaker 1: it gave the better interpretation of the lyric? Very clearly
Speaker 1: gave one person more stage time as well. Maybe that's
Speaker 1: a lesson for contested number one to be more fucking
Speaker 1: interesting next time. All right, claud if you think Contesta
Speaker 1: number one that hurt my feelings, claud if you think
Speaker 1: it's a contesta nuver two beautiful? Alright, So you get
Speaker 1: a very lovely signed copy of fun Being Sexually Explored
Speaker 1: and Self Confident in a World That's Screwed, published by HarperCollins.
Speaker 1: You could give it to a lady you love, or
Speaker 1: you can read it. There's a lot of good advice
Speaker 1: in there. Thank you for participating, guys, give him a
Speaker 1: round of thank you so much. I love it. Okay,
Speaker 1: I think we are ready to bring our amazing segments,
Speaker 1: but our guests are. We'll our comedians were so fucking excited.
Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, we want to give a very happy,
Speaker 1: exciting round of applause. Start clapping right now for Karen
Speaker 1: Fee and Chloe Labre. Hello, what an outfit you sexy?
Speaker 1: Bit you so much? Hello, I was flipping Hello. Alright, alrighty,
Speaker 1: take a seat, take a seat. Do you guys have
Speaker 1: any thoughts on the selection of men that we've seen
Speaker 1: so far tonight? I mean, could you just tell the
Speaker 1: wet spot from my parents from back there? I mean, Jesus,
Speaker 1: that's why you wore the mesh so you could breathe
Speaker 1: for a common buckets in my fishnet clean up and
Speaker 1: I'll Karen, is it like hard for you to get wet?
Speaker 1: Did you get web very quick? A real wet bit? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: like all the time wet or like something has to
Speaker 1: happen if you want to feel it right now? Christina,
Speaker 1: I wish I was kidding. What what made you wet?
Speaker 1: It's not really have a hot outfit? Why don't you?
Speaker 1: I thought she was like, I love sonships and that
Speaker 1: vending machine story just really got me off. I didn't
Speaker 1: really come to like the poor youth. Well this festival
Speaker 1: has plenty of that. Okay, Um, Chloe, are you what?
Speaker 1: I'm all drought up, always wedding her brain? Um, Karen's
Speaker 1: wet in her mouth from sucking all the dick today?
Speaker 1: Can I say something about the rape stuff? Yes, he's
Speaker 1: not rape. If you have a job and Noman listened
Speaker 1: to that, it's not job. Yeah, I've been thinking that
Speaker 1: for years. There's a guy in here who's like, maybe
Speaker 1: that vending machine guys hiring Karen a blowjob? When was
Speaker 1: the last time you gave a blowjob? You like doing that.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'll day today and wait wait wait,
Speaker 1: wait wait, I think she got so many spots. Chloe
Speaker 1: was came here booked on one show. She said, she's
Speaker 1: headlining all way, guys, I mean my office is in
Speaker 1: my mouth, so I'm headlining back at the hotel and
Speaker 1: there is no hr and just ade rape and okay,
Speaker 1: so we crit and I were talking about this before
Speaker 1: we started. How many guys we go down the line.
Speaker 1: How many guys at this festival have you each fucked?
Speaker 1: Have me? Have I fucked? Zero? Wait? Wait, so no one.
Speaker 1: I mean we're not talking about like this weekend, like
Speaker 1: so in the in the totality of your coming crisis,
Speaker 1: no one here that you fucked. They're not physically here,
Speaker 1: but they're on the roster. Oh you didn't show up
Speaker 1: because they knew I was coming. You scared him? Got it?
Speaker 1: I mean, would I fuck a certain guy here? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Well yes, yes, yes, all right? Does his name rye
Speaker 1: with Payne Lilith? No, it rhymes with Danner Shaner. This
Speaker 1: is just a blood bath now, Yeah, I didn't know.
Speaker 1: I didn't know how common knowledge, how much how much
Speaker 1: chloit want monster fuck Gilly um oh and keeps. Don't
Speaker 1: forget about that. I got I got three holes. Who's
Speaker 1: coming for the next Oh yeah, yeah, yeah? Three? I
Speaker 1: guess three. This has all been a joke. Sign an
Speaker 1: n d A. Please. My pussy is a fortress and
Speaker 1: I'll trap you in it. If you're it'll only be connected,
Speaker 1: it'll only be what is it when someone goes into
Speaker 1: your fortress passing? Yeah? Right? Yeahs? And their name rhymes
Speaker 1: with Philly Phil it's symphilist. It's all right, he's probably here, Karen.
Speaker 1: How many guys have you that are here? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm probably like a Baker's does or something. Really what
Speaker 1: about weekend too? Oh yeah, I can't even think of Eddie. Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna give wine that we flew in the
Speaker 1: porn Star. No, I know that when I thought of
Speaker 1: the other one that I was like, I want to
Speaker 1: have sex with you so that I can forget about
Speaker 1: this other guy that I really liked. But you're also cute.
Speaker 1: But you know, I don't know who that is. Okay,
Speaker 1: could you tell me too? Oh? I forgot he was here, okay, Norton,
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, guy, that guy could easily rape because he's
Speaker 1: a fighter and Oh the guy I whisper, not Jim,
Speaker 1: not Jim Norton is not a fighter. Jim Norton will
Speaker 1: lay down and let me take it. I mean, I
Speaker 1: love that man, Karin. I'm I'm counting. I keep forgetting. Okay,
Speaker 1: so I wish I was uh anal counts. Wait wait, wait,
Speaker 1: I gotta redo mine. Okay, mine is four, but three
Speaker 1: or comics. One is not a comic, and I also
Speaker 1: had one who I had it would be five. If
Speaker 1: one person who was on the roster showed up. They're
Speaker 1: on your rust trying to figure out which one of
Speaker 1: the lucky volunteers it was. Yeah, it is blund Mike,
Speaker 1: and that's only so he can't meet. Do you wait,
Speaker 1: there's a blind guy. Yeah, he works here. He's part
Speaker 1: of the guest digital team. Yeah. Surprisingly, it's my dream
Speaker 1: to day a blind guy. No. Well, I knew that
Speaker 1: my choice is in dating had gotten too sloppy when
Speaker 1: I walked into Gas Disuit one day and blind Mike
Speaker 1: screamed at me, she's mine, and I was like, I've
Speaker 1: been wucking too low on the totem pole for quite
Speaker 1: some time. You want to day the blind guy? Is
Speaker 1: that because they're good with their hands. Possibly it's just
Speaker 1: because I don't have to look. Yeah, you never have
Speaker 1: to wear a makeup. I don't have to worry, but
Speaker 1: I don't have to care about how I look. What
Speaker 1: a relaxing lifestyle that sounds like this is how blind
Speaker 1: people shake hands. That's okay. You can touch my face,
Speaker 1: that's fine. Yeah, if you're blind, you can touch my face.
Speaker 1: If you're blind and we're fucking you can touch my face.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah yeah, Wait has anyone of this people ever sucked?
Speaker 1: Anyone with like with a disappelary? Just Louis, he's got
Speaker 1: a couple, yeah he d h How is Louis in bed? Prick?
Speaker 1: You guys like hey? You like hey? Fucking like? Um?
Speaker 1: I mean it always feels that way. I when someone
Speaker 1: sweating on you and talking about their mom under their breath,
Speaker 1: I'm Kidding's so funny. It's playing out my head. It's
Speaker 1: playing out my head. Sorry, just oh my god, this
Speaker 1: best was so uncomfortable. Okay, it really I haven't. You
Speaker 1: haven't the guy with a disability, Oh you should, but
Speaker 1: I was a guy in a wheelchair because he couldn't
Speaker 1: get away from me. That your mind forever trying to
Speaker 1: roll away. That's your horror movie. You're just eyes, just
Speaker 1: collect collect. You don't. I got a closet and legs prosthetic.
Speaker 1: You're like Jeffrey Dahmer, but like wasting. Yeah, except for
Speaker 1: I don't recycle because I don't need the bodies, you know,
Speaker 1: So you can't do the calories. Yeah, only when you
Speaker 1: called me fat, you bitch. Yeah, let's keep calling Chloe fat.
Speaker 1: You want to make it to the next gang so
Speaker 1: fat guys, no one calls fat. Oh my god. I
Speaker 1: don't think anyone on stage besides me has actually been
Speaker 1: called fat, So keep doing it, you know, I like it.
Speaker 1: Um alright, called a hot retard yesterday. Yeah, someone goes,
Speaker 1: I didn't know autistic girls could be hot. That's how
Speaker 1: they brought me up on stage. And wait, oh a
Speaker 1: comics said better. Yeah, because I didn't know his name. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: I brought him up and I introduced him and I
Speaker 1: didn't know his name, and then after he just started
Speaker 1: calling me a hot retard, and I was like, I'll
Speaker 1: fucking take it, you know, because I blacked out out
Speaker 1: after the hot compliments, right right, right, right, right right. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there was a cleanup in aisle chloes fussy, she made
Speaker 1: a mass Alright, this is beautiful, Okay, alright, So I
Speaker 1: think like a grocery store copied. Yeah, we got the
Speaker 1: ile reference. It's like grocery store. We got it. We
Speaker 1: did think it was like an eye in your apartment. Again. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm just used to my jokes not hitting. So yeah,
Speaker 1: so that's why I can't play blackcheck. Here reminds you
Speaker 1: have my ex used to hit me because she deserved it?
Speaker 1: Look at it? Yeah, did you look at him just
Speaker 1: like that? Uh? Sorry, no, no, no, no, I did
Speaker 1: deserve it because there's a lot of been a lot
Speaker 1: of cleanups in that house. But because you know, I
Speaker 1: get so wet and when a guy hits me, let's
Speaker 1: do a segment. Yeah, I'm really sorry about that that
Speaker 1: you got hit And you're like, hey, you like what
Speaker 1: you like? You know you can't sometimes I like, I
Speaker 1: accidentally masturbated after watching the Woodstock ninety documentary. I mean
Speaker 1: it's you know, we all sometimes we get off the
Speaker 1: things that we don't like and someone else to masturbated
Speaker 1: to that tocumentary. When it's a guy, I'm not as impressed.
Speaker 1: What's the weirdest thing you've ever masturbated to current? Why
Speaker 1: is she looking eyes? Oh god, I don't mean probably
Speaker 1: just like a toxic ax or something. Nothing that crazy.
Speaker 1: Oh you know what. I used to have this reoccurring
Speaker 1: dream that Lindsay Lohan beat me with a fresh fruit platter,
Speaker 1: and that caught me kind of horny. She got big titties,
Speaker 1: she does, I don't know they were in it was
Speaker 1: she was. It was the beating that I liked because
Speaker 1: she's dated an ex boyfriend of mine, so I thought
Speaker 1: it was hot that she was so angry. Have you
Speaker 1: ever masturbated anything weird? Karen? Oh? Yeah, you know, just
Speaker 1: like the kiddy stuff. You're not supposed to say it's
Speaker 1: the kids stuff. No, yeah, I know. I just like
Speaker 1: really old guys. How old? Like you know guys know
Speaker 1: the blue pill man, fuck you nerds? Oh you mean
Speaker 1: the guys need guys that are like gang bang, like
Speaker 1: a cheerleader or whatever. Yeah? Yeah, yeah, like like like
Speaker 1: what like whoa might need a pacemaker change? Right? Yes,
Speaker 1: so kind of hot because it's like will you die?
Speaker 1: And like any like doctor exam porn? Have you fund
Speaker 1: the guy that old in real life? No? Who old?
Speaker 1: How old? Did you go? I'm going young, like, it's
Speaker 1: not my fault. They're like me, Yeah, when I was
Speaker 1: like twenty, I fought like a thirty three year old
Speaker 1: for a while. It's like, is really mob guy? Sorry?
Speaker 1: What's the oldest you? Fine? How old were you at
Speaker 1: the time? Thirty two? And he was my boyfriend? I
Speaker 1: think if you said tend all this, but I did.
Speaker 1: I did recently, fun five year old. The guy named
Speaker 1: his name is Jakomo, Jacomo money mo problem. What happened
Speaker 1: to Jakoma? I was hearking about him all during COVID.
Speaker 1: He moved back to Milano, alright, But first before he
Speaker 1: moved to Milano, he was like no, so so he
Speaker 1: dumped you and then he moved to Milan. But yeah,
Speaker 1: you like to say that it ended because he moved
Speaker 1: back to Milan. He couldn't handle my trauma in the bedroom? Right,
Speaker 1: how does your trauma play out in the bedroom? Choking?
Speaker 1: And I choked Jacomo and then he said stop him. Normal,
Speaker 1: when you choke a guide, you ask first. You just
Speaker 1: do it. Why would I ask, you know, because then
Speaker 1: it could be a note the rapist appla. Do you
Speaker 1: ask before you choke a guy? It's caused problems you. No,
Speaker 1: I'm not gay. I guess you know. Genders aren't a
Speaker 1: thing anymore, Karen. Yeah, so women can choke first, now yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah that on your hinge profile. I choke first, and
Speaker 1: I'm a comedian. Anybody that people who need a life
Speaker 1: alert zero matches. Okay, that was hilarious. I thought so too.
Speaker 1: Thank you. I'm gonna think I'm gonna come to that later. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's called it's come through the time when we need
Speaker 1: a couple more volunteers on stage. These also should be
Speaker 1: men another low steaks like it's low steaks, not like
Speaker 1: how not a rape? I promise they're probably leaving. We
Speaker 1: got we got some voluntary voluntary delete. They don't want
Speaker 1: to what is it? A fucking fire drill? Alright? Hi? Um?
Speaker 1: How many more do we? Well? We do? Three people more?
Speaker 1: Come up? Thanks? People more? That worked. That guy just
Speaker 1: got up and he said, okay, you guys, they listen.
Speaker 1: This is probably the easiest segment that we have on
Speaker 1: the show, truly, and there is a prize. There is
Speaker 1: a price. There's always a prize. Okay, so this one
Speaker 1: is very simple. You guys will introduce themselves. Okay, we
Speaker 1: have four but that's fine. Numbers aren't a thing. A's
Speaker 1: game fest. Um, and we're like three and like we'll
Speaker 1: do four. Um, I know what they need four They
Speaker 1: said three, but they need four women. Um. And all
Speaker 1: you have to do is you're gonna go down the
Speaker 1: table and you're gonna compliment each one of us on
Speaker 1: something that you can't see. Okay, but you've seen it
Speaker 1: on Reddit. Don't compliment that either. So but not not aesthetic.
Speaker 1: That is a good point. But yeah, you can't. It
Speaker 1: can't be like a part of it can't be like
Speaker 1: because Karen's wearing a bra, you compliment heard it? Like
Speaker 1: just say so, just let c Yeah, you seem to
Speaker 1: already seeing it or something that I know about you
Speaker 1: that I like. It has to be a I would say,
Speaker 1: not uity quality quality, something that's not visual. Yeah, this
Speaker 1: guy's like I gotta this guy's gonna go viral on
Speaker 1: TikTok with this one. So before I start, I was
Speaker 1: here a year ago in Houston. That's when I met
Speaker 1: you guys. I got into you know, like this whole podcast. Will.
Speaker 1: I really enjoyed your guys work, So thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Well you're already in first place, so thank you, and
Speaker 1: the contest is over what's what's your name? I'm Joe
Speaker 1: Um here with my buddy Tommy. We're we're both the
Speaker 1: sailors in the navy and now I know physician. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so one by one. First, my first time meeting you. Thanks, um,
Speaker 1: and very good quality. I see about you is that
Speaker 1: you're clearly on something right now when I love it. No,
Speaker 1: I'm actually sober. She's trying hard to be sober. Actually,
Speaker 1: like it's a it's don't take that as a reason
Speaker 1: to do something later, please, Chloe, I'm just a hot
Speaker 1: retard over here, you know. I mean, this is so
Speaker 1: this is so accurate. Holy sh it. Okay, I saw
Speaker 1: your set yesterday and You're rape joke was the best
Speaker 1: rape joke I've ever heard. Oh my god, thank you
Speaker 1: so much. Uneasy compliment. Okay, it's not a joke in
Speaker 1: this room. Um. Oh, this is gonna be a challenging one. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and action in that. I was very surprised and impressed
Speaker 1: that you own your own business with the with the
Speaker 1: baseball card my dad died. Um, hey so did mind
Speaker 1: last year. We're in the same bucket worries and um,
Speaker 1: finally again, first time meeting. Um, so I was he's
Speaker 1: going to pay something you can't, so sorry, I'm ready
Speaker 1: to welcome your compliment. Thank you, um, I would say,
Speaker 1: out of the four panelist year, you have the best
Speaker 1: sense of humor. Comes out of nowhere, starts beating him up.
Speaker 1: Thank you for participating. Thank you. That was good for
Speaker 1: the old pitting women against each other. Thank you. Cat
Speaker 1: fight one? Al right, number two? What's your names? Matty? Hello?
Speaker 1: Another matt? Alright? You may go now, Okay, is this
Speaker 1: am I supposed to be complaining all of you or
Speaker 1: just you saw with the first contestant? Can't be that hard,
Speaker 1: he goes, passed. Yeah, if you didn't pass on one
Speaker 1: of us, you fucking can. But yeah, well the well
Speaker 1: the other guy three nice compliments in one mean just
Speaker 1: like the other guy, you better get your compliments right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Well we break our sobriety. I don't know who's gonna do. Uh, Chloe,
Speaker 1: I love how you managed to take your trauma and
Speaker 1: turn and do so much so bad. Okay, take yourself
Speaker 1: by the boot strap story? Fuck? Okay, oh god, I
Speaker 1: really really love your story that you did on this
Speaker 1: is not happening about the jealousy that you were battling with.
Speaker 1: I'm sure everyone can relate to that. Um, the hesitancy
Speaker 1: before me every time I say, no, I love you
Speaker 1: on Masker's show and I really enjoyed you every time
Speaker 1: you're on Legion Skanks and uh, something no one's ever
Speaker 1: said before. Really Okay, I've enjoyed it very much. Um
Speaker 1: and then uh Karen, Yes, yes, I ah, I like
Speaker 1: Karen's kind of I don't really give a ship about
Speaker 1: what everyone thinks about me. Attitude you feel for it,
Speaker 1: little detective. But it was kind of a joke that
Speaker 1: this would be hard, and now to see how actually
Speaker 1: challenging it is, it gets proven itself hurtful to us. Right,
Speaker 1: we really walked in our own track there. Wait, we
Speaker 1: set up like five minutes, like, hey, we're gonna put this.
Speaker 1: You shouldn't need five minutes for one thing. Yeah, okay, cool,
Speaker 1: so you could pass the mike. Thank you for participating,
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Number four by hello, how are
Speaker 1: you doing good? How are you? Yeah? Boys, you compliment us? Now?
Speaker 1: What's your name? L Yeah, you may compliment? This ship
Speaker 1: is hard. I was thinking of all time that these
Speaker 1: white people left. Yeah, start Phil, Okay, like it can't
Speaker 1: be anything I see with my eyes. You're saying, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, that's the challenge. Exactly your fingers. You could
Speaker 1: know you could do something you see with your eyes. No,
Speaker 1: that's not the rules. It's the whole point of a challenge.
Speaker 1: We might have to do a follow up segments so
Speaker 1: that to keep pying alive for Sunday. I think you're
Speaker 1: all very funny. You can't do compliments group compliments. You
Speaker 1: have to choose whose the funniest. Um the other three
Speaker 1: will just will kill ourselves. Yeah, yeah, do you want
Speaker 1: blood on your dear Phil? Thanks asshole? I like your voice.
Speaker 1: Thank you something you can hear? All right, Well you
Speaker 1: can't see your voice. I like your curly hair. I
Speaker 1: don't know if that counts. I feel my curly hair.
Speaker 1: My hair. My hair doesn't touch your heart. He was
Speaker 1: so proud of himself because he didn't say tits and
Speaker 1: he thought that was gonna be a win. I like
Speaker 1: your show. Your show was cool? Which one? This one? God?
Speaker 1: I'm just alts huh Jesus Christ? All right, are you
Speaker 1: really trying or you think it's because I'm on the
Speaker 1: spot or whatever. I don't know. So you have like
Speaker 1: time to think, Yeah, it feels like at a carnival.
Speaker 1: And he's like, I didn't know this first wheel went up.
Speaker 1: I wish you asked me, how do I not rape questions? Curran?
Speaker 1: How do you not raper? I don't. I just don't. Now.
Speaker 1: Now that felt hurtful somehow. Now I'm offended. I don't
Speaker 1: know what to say because it's the wrong segment. You know, Yeah,
Speaker 1: go on something you can't see. Go again, compliment the compliment,
Speaker 1: you know, the challenge. No, we switched the insults mid game,
Speaker 1: just forget getter. I think you're very quick witted, and
Speaker 1: you're you come up with like, uh stuff on the
Speaker 1: spot really well. So yeah, quick witted. Yeah, you will
Speaker 1: not allow you have the same qualities. Thank you. No,
Speaker 1: I don't. Well. Men fall for stuff too. That's so funny. Okay,
Speaker 1: go ahead, Karen, Okay, I like the Balenciaga. That's you
Speaker 1: can't feel black head. You're representing people of color right now?
Speaker 1: Be better? I'm white? Are you? Oh? I was like
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, my lace is expired. Okay, holy ship. You
Speaker 1: scared me. Phil, Karen. I love, I love every time
Speaker 1: you're on the Realist podcast. I think you're funny fun Thanks,
Speaker 1: that's a really good one. Not pat but all right,
Speaker 1: thank you. At least you remember that he's never going
Speaker 1: to forget you. All right. What's your name, Josh? Josh?
Speaker 1: What do you do for a living? Josh? I'm a comedian,
Speaker 1: but really, what do you do? What do you do
Speaker 1: for a living? What do you do for employed? I'm homely?
Speaker 1: You don't? Are you really homeless? I'm not really hoping? Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: it's really small. I have a sixty year old fucking
Speaker 1: roommate like that one guy's girlfriend him. I'm trying for
Speaker 1: rent money. Yeah, oh, I gotta do something for home's sex.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna I'm gonna start on that end. Karen,
Speaker 1: I love your bank account. I love your bank Did
Speaker 1: you give him money? I do know he can smell
Speaker 1: it to. Yeah, it's sucking. Vulture. Karen Without a Country
Speaker 1: is one of my favorite podcasts that my ex wife
Speaker 1: used to make me listen to. So it was a
Speaker 1: compliment at first. What a roller coaster of compliments? Can
Speaker 1: I get past something without a loaded compliment? I love it? Well,
Speaker 1: you're the better host. Why I've been the host the
Speaker 1: whole time, but you've had other co hosts, and you've
Speaker 1: been the best one. Okay, thank you. Why do you
Speaker 1: and your ex wife break? Nice? But I don't want
Speaker 1: to get into that one. You brought it up. I
Speaker 1: know I did. Chloe, you should have the hypnotist Joe
Speaker 1: and Vegas. That's what happens when you make Chloe wait
Speaker 1: for her compliments. Uh, Christina, I think you're really good
Speaker 1: at cutting down men. Oh my god, thank you. You're welcome.
Speaker 1: That's a good one. And Chloe, you're the funniest one
Speaker 1: up here. Thank you, thank you? Cleanup and thanks dude.
Speaker 1: I really it's all. I really needed that. Okay, um,
Speaker 1: all right, so we just we just had a little
Speaker 1: meeting over here, and we decided that none of you win.
Speaker 1: Thank you for participating, though this segment was for us.
Speaker 1: You may take a seat. Thank you so much. I
Speaker 1: think the almost guy one, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Baby.
Speaker 1: All right? Wait, who would you? Who we're talking about?
Speaker 1: Almost guy would? Yeah? No, I I got that part.
Speaker 1: We all have a home. He probably pretty good. Yeah. Wait,
Speaker 1: have you ever fucked a homeless guy? Kind of? I
Speaker 1: met this guy in rehab named Tommy who was addicted
Speaker 1: to crack and we had sex a lot, but he did.
Speaker 1: You know, he didn't sleep much, so I didn't have
Speaker 1: to share the bed with a rehab no after because
Speaker 1: he was on crack. He went right back to crack
Speaker 1: when yeah, yeah, yeah that usually find a stable life
Speaker 1: with you. No, I drove him back to crack. Wait. Oh,
Speaker 1: that's a great question. So how many people's have turned
Speaker 1: to drugs after you broke up? Well, mom and dad
Speaker 1: now they're divorced. Um Santa No, Santa Claus and Santa Claus.
Speaker 1: He loves that, so no, UM, I don't know, probably him, Jacomo, um,
Speaker 1: someone that uh, someone that rhymes with phyllis being phyllis,
Speaker 1: Karen ban that's it. Shut up. The text with the girl,
Speaker 1: yeah really yeah, I feel like it was kind of rape.
Speaker 1: But oh was it? Yeah? Because we were making all
Speaker 1: these peanut coladas right and the next day I was like,
Speaker 1: that was her last night and she was like, wow,
Speaker 1: I mine were virgin. Oh I'm like, where I no
Speaker 1: longer in one? And was it your babysitter? No, it
Speaker 1: was this girl I can't see who, and um, she's
Speaker 1: really hot, you know, like a ten um. But it
Speaker 1: was just it wasn't for me. Lesbian sex or yeah,
Speaker 1: being gay, it's not for me. Raped by a woman, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it might be that part. Yeah. Have you a sex
Speaker 1: with a woman? Yeah a lot? Yeah damn yeah, what
Speaker 1: about you, Coco. I let a woman finger me to
Speaker 1: see her marriage at a sex club. Did a favorite marriage.
Speaker 1: I think it might have saved her marriage. But she
Speaker 1: had a no curlic con and it really her in
Speaker 1: my po but I felt like it was a mitzvah
Speaker 1: for a woman, you know, So it was nice. But yeah, well,
Speaker 1: at one point I reached back just because like I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm not really enjoying this, and I didn't
Speaker 1: think she was either, So I just reached back to
Speaker 1: feel if her vagina was what and it was very dry.
Speaker 1: I was like, let's investigate. Have you ever sexed with
Speaker 1: a woman, Karen, I'm just in college. That still counts
Speaker 1: so basic. Yeah, it's so basic. Yeah. We were bartenders
Speaker 1: and I want to finger her, and we stopped because
Speaker 1: I was like, nobody's watching us. If you're not doing
Speaker 1: it for attention. At that point, there's no point. No money. Well, Karen,
Speaker 1: you've been making a ship ton of money on only
Speaker 1: fans and yeah, we all, we all, how many people
Speaker 1: here are subscribed to Karen's Only Fans. It's okay, guys,
Speaker 1: don't you guys are full of fucking ship. I see
Speaker 1: her pulling up an uber V I p all the
Speaker 1: time I've been to her house. This bitch looks good.
Speaker 1: We're doing great good work. Yeah, you do you donations?
Speaker 1: So wait, so I you know, we we've asked a
Speaker 1: lot of questions about your only Fans because we're very
Speaker 1: impressed by it. But can you give us some tips
Speaker 1: for people who wanted to get into the sex Why
Speaker 1: you want to start only fans here? Just a future
Speaker 1: they're never gonna I do not want competition or no, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's fine. I mean we can try to thicken the herd. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean the thing about only fans is like the
Speaker 1: weirder you are, the better, Like you don't know people's
Speaker 1: Google searches, right, you have words like really start showcasing that. Really?
Speaker 1: Are you serious? I mean not that I do, but
Speaker 1: if I feel like that's a trick on a list, yeah,
Speaker 1: you dirty bitch, we're gonna put you on a train. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It could be a pioneer care And it's like the
Speaker 1: first guy who put handicap porn on you like a heart.
Speaker 1: Yeah you never came back, but you didn't feel in
Speaker 1: security about like your like weird hip. You should feel
Speaker 1: good about it. Like that's the stuff that people are into.
Speaker 1: I was gonna I was gonna do one for my feet, um,
Speaker 1: but I was gonna put google eyes the toes and
Speaker 1: ruin it. Yeah, I like, guys would be a pissed
Speaker 1: at me. I mean if you like, maybe wrap those
Speaker 1: feet around a dick and might work right, duly fans
Speaker 1: because the voice that my dog has ruined. But I
Speaker 1: don't know, I think it's cute, like so many videos,
Speaker 1: so like what are you? What are you doing? Like'll
Speaker 1: be like like an India Arie song, It's just funny,
Speaker 1: do you guys? But I'll be like bent over and
Speaker 1: then like my dog will come into frame and I'll
Speaker 1: be like, not the dicks line. I'll give you meet
Speaker 1: a better later. How many people are you? Are you into?
Speaker 1: Like silly like a silly sexual encounter. Yeah that's what
Speaker 1: I thought. Okay, who's gonna come skipping towards fronting me?
Speaker 1: I like feathers and powder the coffee able we're talking
Speaker 1: about whimsy and then she just ship on a coffee
Speaker 1: table that's a big one. I mean, I wouldn't know,
Speaker 1: but diaper play. Anybody admit we don't need A girl
Speaker 1: sold her ship in a tupple where for like five
Speaker 1: k what the for free? A lot of money. I've
Speaker 1: been just flushing that down the ta she owns to
Speaker 1: homes always got way more baggage than that because it
Speaker 1: put it all in doggy bag. The pop dumps like
Speaker 1: an elephant. That should be your don't suck an elephant.
Speaker 1: No dumps like an elephant. Oh, dumps like that should
Speaker 1: be your only fan screen name? You know, let him
Speaker 1: know you. They're getting a top I like that. She
Speaker 1: was surprised when you when she thought you said, don't
Speaker 1: suck an elephant. Yeah, like my Momy's never told me that.
Speaker 1: It's like Chloe the Great. Instead of gathering in the
Speaker 1: Great the way I did, she sucked by a horse
Speaker 1: and she died. Catherine the Great? Really? Yeah? Why is
Speaker 1: that like a party fact that you have at the
Speaker 1: tip of your tongue. Did you see a video of it?
Speaker 1: I'm really smart? So wait, did they capture her and
Speaker 1: then let a horse fucker? No? No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: she just didn't. She just wanted to do it. She
Speaker 1: was like the queen, you know. She was like, you
Speaker 1: guys want a lot of black eyes in the palace,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get so. I love that as a party fact, Christine,
Speaker 1: did you have a party fact that you used to like? Impressed? Duits?
Speaker 1: Do you think I use that to impress? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean I just start talking about how aliens are real,
Speaker 1: and I start sighting evidence and then I'm like, where
Speaker 1: are you going? They are that? I like to tell
Speaker 1: people bats have a belly button. I think that's really cool.
Speaker 1: Give your vibe right away. Yeah, Well, you know what
Speaker 1: a funny thing is. I've had three separate boyfriends give
Speaker 1: me taxes dermy bats as a gift. I think I'm
Speaker 1: don't have one text all three of them. The next
Speaker 1: time my dog kills a rat. I fell right to
Speaker 1: your Yes, what if, Karen? Did you name them? I
Speaker 1: didn't name I need my taxes Jeremy coyote though, but
Speaker 1: not my bad name Felina. It's after a breaking bad episode, love, Karen,
Speaker 1: what I took too anymore? Do you have? Like? Right now?
Speaker 1: Are you are you? Are you on shrooms? I know?
Speaker 1: Are you in philating this? Do you know? So? The
Speaker 1: question lays fucked up. That's fun. That's really trying to
Speaker 1: play my questions and I'm looking like a que This
Speaker 1: is a Tim Burton festival. I haven't really welcome about no.
Speaker 1: Ok the question is you have like a fun party
Speaker 1: fact that you use on day to impress dudes of partying?
Speaker 1: It's Diane Isis We'll take all these other gods, but
Speaker 1: like he's the party god, right, stupid, I thought you
Speaker 1: meant like you were trying to join Isis. You're already
Speaker 1: in it. She's already get into happy. She is the
Speaker 1: best on full of bombs. Wait, so what are you
Speaker 1: like seeing ship right now? Obviously I'm calling Chloe a
Speaker 1: terrorists for no reason? No, thank you? All right, Well,
Speaker 1: I think we've reached our last interactive segment of the show.
Speaker 1: There is a prize for this, and this is the
Speaker 1: one where we're I mean, depending on who you are
Speaker 1: and how you feel the most or the least of you.
Speaker 1: I'm not really sure. Your emotional intelligence is so low
Speaker 1: I can't really gauge this nothing to do with emotional intelligence,
Speaker 1: it has I think we have to tell them, Yeah,
Speaker 1: we can't just expect this of you. Okay, expect. We
Speaker 1: do not tell you what the segment. Yeah, volunteer for it.
Speaker 1: We had this crazy idea where just for really no reason,
Speaker 1: in a very low level prize, that you would come
Speaker 1: and show us your dick. Only we'll see it. No
Speaker 1: one in the audience will see it and review it,
Speaker 1: and we'll review your dick. And you know, but yeah,
Speaker 1: and so the five components of criteria for this dick
Speaker 1: review are and so it doesn't it has It's not
Speaker 1: necessarily the best. It's just like you know what we
Speaker 1: we feel in the moment, and you know, you guys
Speaker 1: the cord in our d ms, y'all want to show
Speaker 1: us you're you know, we're kind of giving you this opportunity.
Speaker 1: It's festival. Let us look at you. Give us something,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, show us your body, bring
Speaker 1: us your dicks. So chop your head because I'm a nicist,
Speaker 1: find the black curtain. Okay, so we will react to it,
Speaker 1: but no one else will see your day. So just
Speaker 1: know that. So the components are going to be girth length, happy,
Speaker 1: softer heart, you know, coloring, vainage, coloring, racists. And then
Speaker 1: I didn't even hear what she said, and I'm in
Speaker 1: and then racism, um, and then character which I think
Speaker 1: is like the one that really is going to give
Speaker 1: one of you a leg up in this. Can you
Speaker 1: imagine fucking a guy and then going, oh that you're dead?
Speaker 1: His character like, and then he cries and has a
Speaker 1: little bit of character there I can see. Yah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, he's Apolgia. Mattia says, thank you. No one
Speaker 1: here's seen any movies. I have a big fat lie.
Speaker 1: What a bigh Okay, that's a Pauli movie. Yeah. Um,
Speaker 1: he's like, can we play the movie? Yeah? I didn't
Speaker 1: know where to go from there? All right, so um yeah,
Speaker 1: if you interested in volunteers for three subscription to my
Speaker 1: only fans for we have a volunteer. We just got
Speaker 1: three damn hashtag brave four dicks is a party here,
Speaker 1: we fucking go. Let's go. Yeah, three like them? So, like,
Speaker 1: I don't actually know how to do that. Yeah, we're
Speaker 1: gonna make a really big deal about the one we
Speaker 1: that wins. Okay, I have an idea. What if we
Speaker 1: put them in order of who we think is the
Speaker 1: smallest dip first, so we don't know, you don't know,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's a that's a good gag, Cloe, Um,
Speaker 1: literally a gag once it gets to me. Listen's a carrot. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's go alright, so we're gonna have you stand behind
Speaker 1: this one right the scrimp. Well, I thought we were
Speaker 1: not gonna sexually assault the producers prot Okay, So you
Speaker 1: guys go over to this one because there's other adults
Speaker 1: behind this one running the show business and so okay,
Speaker 1: So the three guys who aren't let do one at
Speaker 1: a time unless you guys just want to see each
Speaker 1: other's dicks. Want to make you guys feel more comfortable
Speaker 1: if you all showed us your dickson unison and we
Speaker 1: went down the line, and we need to see them
Speaker 1: being used to that. We didn't say that, don't anythink,
Speaker 1: Chloe says, is a ha ha. Okay, so it's a
Speaker 1: little oh well you know. Okay, me too. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: come close. I was just gonna I was gonna stand closer. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is very exciting for me. Okay, you're so right.
Speaker 1: I don't know. That's great. I don't even know what
Speaker 1: your name is. It's it's all the hard wait Okay, wow,
Speaker 1: that's a dick right there. Yeah, yeah, Yeah, that's a
Speaker 1: nice sick. That's a nice sick one. That's a good one.
Speaker 1: It's guy, it's almost longer than your balls. So your
Speaker 1: grower to keep talking. It feels like it's getting a
Speaker 1: little harder. Okay, you show dude. There's a good little boy. Okay,
Speaker 1: there's a red rocket. Okay, we just start touching ourselves.
Speaker 1: All right. I don't see a lot of those are nicest.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you that much. We're not Wait, what's your
Speaker 1: what's your name? Ryan? Not the first time I've asked
Speaker 1: after I've seen the deck. Okay, Hey, okay, Ryan, next contestant,
Speaker 1: thank you, Congrat's Ryan, Bryan. That's your name. You will
Speaker 1: show us your record. Somebody has boundaries, someone who traumatized
Speaker 1: as a kid. Like he's like, I'll show you my dick.
Speaker 1: I'm not doing your my name. Oh he's going like
Speaker 1: this going it has a little spring. Its helicopter like
Speaker 1: a cat tail is the helicopter. It's fine, he's gonna help.
Speaker 1: He's a helicopter. Now he keeps doing his underwear down lower,
Speaker 1: as if that's character points. Now, yeah, you're trying to
Speaker 1: get character points. Okay, thank you for showing us your dick.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna throw up no because I'm dizzy from the helicopter. Okay,
Speaker 1: got it. Thank you for showing us your dick. That
Speaker 1: was wonderful. Thank you so much. Contested. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: know why the funk any of you agreed to this,
Speaker 1: but I got longer. Okay, ready, what well I got longer.
Speaker 1: Let's see the show us here. What's your name? Yeah? Okay,
Speaker 1: he's doing that's doing it slow, and he's like unbuckling
Speaker 1: his bells and he's kind of doing like a like
Speaker 1: a Vegas showboy. Oh my god. Nothing has made me
Speaker 1: more uncomfortable than what step is doing to lift up
Speaker 1: the blouse. Alright, Seth, you had a v muscle at
Speaker 1: a dick, and ball at that dick right there that
Speaker 1: has a nicer body. Yours was a bit wider. Yeah,
Speaker 1: wide balls, yeah, very wide balls so far right here.
Speaker 1: Ball with wasn't in the components, but we might have
Speaker 1: to add it for Seth. Yeah, but the oh god, really,
Speaker 1: you just got big. So don't shake hands with Seth. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: they don't congratulate him on this. Yeah, white is ball
Speaker 1: so far? Thank you, so we've seen it. Thank you.
Speaker 1: We're good. The balls were very far alright, so running
Speaker 1: away from each other, all right? Come on in? What's
Speaker 1: your name? Comfortable? Duyne? Oh my god, Duyanne works your
Speaker 1: Jaren Duane Dune is am I mean? Also he works here?
Speaker 1: Is this going to get us in trouble? Okay? Ow?
Speaker 1: Dwyane is also touchy so and he works here, so
Speaker 1: God knows where that hands going to go after? Dwayne?
Speaker 1: You have you have like you have fraternal twin balls. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: and I like that about you. Why is Karen? Are
Speaker 1: you seeing something? You have something to say other than
Speaker 1: that what we're seeing. How badly he wants to show
Speaker 1: happy trip Karen Happy? I like the way you you
Speaker 1: rest your hands right now, just like a little bit
Speaker 1: like three inches of away from the body on each side,
Speaker 1: and you're kind of going back. Ye. Dwayne's kind of
Speaker 1: like nervous to like do show and tell and pretty school.
Speaker 1: Yeah like this It's like this is no baby's yeah,
Speaker 1: his his his underwear and pants are just here and
Speaker 1: he's laughing so hard that his dick is moving like
Speaker 1: Joe Biden's looking for an like Santa's bowl of jelly belly.
Speaker 1: But what wor through your head, Dwayne, when you were like,
Speaker 1: I work here, but I should also show my dick
Speaker 1: what he's still showing us, showing us the past that
Speaker 1: says all access that feels so rapey. Okay, you can
Speaker 1: pull up it, Dwyne. I've already also doing an added
Speaker 1: component of who just had no inclination to pull up
Speaker 1: the pants after showing it. Dwayne wins by a landslide.
Speaker 1: Dwayne did keep Dwayne. Okay, alrighty, we can't have the
Speaker 1: audience because you didn't see there. That's it. Give them
Speaker 1: a round about that was wonderful being fearless. I honestly
Speaker 1: can't believe we convince you to see. Yeah, I'm really
Speaker 1: impressed with you that we have to vote. They just
Speaker 1: went back to their seats in shame. Um, right right, right,
Speaker 1: right right, Okay, yeah, we have to remember them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember it. Okay, So again we're going off girth, length, coloring, vantage,
Speaker 1: and character like vantage. I didn't write that one down.
Speaker 1: You didn't write down vantage. Okay. I didn't see a
Speaker 1: lot of veins, but that's because they were flaw set
Speaker 1: far away. Yeah, also far away. But I didn't see
Speaker 1: any vans. Yeah, I didn't see any veins. That's nothing
Speaker 1: to do with your side. Really good dicks tell you guys.
Speaker 1: So if you guys can't remember the names, you can
Speaker 1: also vote by one, two, three for Chloe. What are
Speaker 1: your thoughts? Oh? Um, I'm gonna go with you know,
Speaker 1: I have a soft spot for for Dwyane, and I
Speaker 1: think we both share the soft spot. Get it. There
Speaker 1: were several soft spots, So yeah, I'm gonna go with
Speaker 1: not No, I'm gonna go Dwayne. You know I got
Speaker 1: to support the festival. Yeah. I also am gonna go
Speaker 1: with Dwayne because he was the most excited to show
Speaker 1: us and had his pants down the longest and was
Speaker 1: just the bravest. So I'm gonna go with Dwayne. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm also gonna go with Dayne. I don't know that
Speaker 1: he'll ever be voted in a Dick contest um, so
Speaker 1: this is gonna be his one opportunity. We're underdogs, flourish um.
Speaker 1: It feels like if I don't vote for a Dwyanne,
Speaker 1: no for wherever you want it up, Karen, you're account
Speaker 1: Dwayne's already won. So this is really just you want
Speaker 1: to if you want to give, like a festival at
Speaker 1: all of them, second looks, last looks. Everybody back to Dayne,
Speaker 1: drop it show you the winner is to show everyone
Speaker 1: there dick. Yeah they did not agree to that. No
Speaker 1: they don't. Chloe and your non rules good prize. Wait
Speaker 1: you know your congratulations. You want the dick competition and
Speaker 1: a free copy of Sucking Sex. You can show us. Dwyane, Wait,
Speaker 1: can you go to the microphone for a second. This
Speaker 1: is for me. Can you say, I'm Dwyanne whatever last
Speaker 1: name is, and I just want best diet s gang Fast.
Speaker 1: I am Dwayne Howard and I want the best dit
Speaker 1: stang Fast, your hero, Dwyane, it's my fucking boy. Alright, guys,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Been guys, please give it up
Speaker 1: for Karen Feehan and Chloe, me the branch and all
Speaker 1: of the brave men who volunteered at our show. We
Speaker 1: really appreciate it. I'm Christina Hutchinson, I'm Corin Fisher. This
Speaker 1: has been Guys We Fuck. The anti slot shaming podcast
Speaker 1: We'll Talk to four by Guys We Fucked is presented
Speaker 1: by Luminary Creating, hosted by Karin Fisher and Christina Hutchinson.
Speaker 1: Editing and music coordination by Mike Cosper Ellie theme song
Speaker 1: by Rob Patterson and Jake Cozen Suck my wet ass pussy.
Speaker 1: Christina said to cut that before, but now it's in there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's keep it up. Tout to the action long after all.
Speaker 1: Thank check one moning a different story. We'll walk in
Speaker 1: told the lad me told me by the end the
Speaker 1: worry same man. We know a better It's die. You
Speaker 1: can make it if you try, all right. In these words,
Speaker 1: when you see them, you can find that trying to
Speaker 1: lie feeling fly came and found me. Good things are
Speaker 1: gonna come down feeling for the time. To me, it's
Speaker 1: only all those words did well to change my story.
Speaker 1: Not take them with me, far awid tell others by
Speaker 1: the room to glory. I say, brother, you SI look
Speaker 1: scorn you can be you try all right,