Speaker 1: There is everybody America's favorite actor. Sorry for my tardiness. Yes,
Speaker 1: you're tardy. I was working out and I had to
Speaker 1: get home in time, and I made it. You made it. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm seventeen minutes late. So yeah. So those of
Speaker 1: you out there listening, well, the lucky people in listening
Speaker 1: didn't have to wait the seventeen minutes. They This is
Speaker 1: what I want you to do now, if you've heard
Speaker 1: what we've said, pause, pause the podcast, why for seventeen minutes,
Speaker 1: and then come back to the podcast, replay it and
Speaker 1: blame it on me. Be like, fucking Donald Man, you
Speaker 1: wasted my time today. Donald love you. And it's the
Speaker 1: last show of the year. I'm sad for that because
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two has been fucking amazing, dude, it has
Speaker 1: what's the great years? Had a Carmen, who's Joelle's new
Speaker 1: associate producer, up Carmen, Hello, how are you doing? I say,
Speaker 1: didn't we meet before? No? You met her on a
Speaker 1: call with Will, but she has not joined the podcast
Speaker 1: as Joelle's associate producer. Joel is training her to be
Speaker 1: the Joel of the future. Joe, Well, what are you doing?
Speaker 1: You're going over to the banks podcasts, trying to tiptoe
Speaker 1: out of here. I would never leave. You do not
Speaker 1: have famous last words, famous last We have two and
Speaker 1: a half seasons left of this incarnation. You better not
Speaker 1: try and leave us. I'm not going anywhere but Vegas, Vegas.
Speaker 1: We gotta we're going to Vegas. We're going. What are
Speaker 1: we speaking at, Joel? See what's it called c Daniel,
Speaker 1: you know what that is? Cfs B is what will called? It?
Speaker 1: A business to business thing? You either talked to a
Speaker 1: little much, but I know. But what's that famous conference
Speaker 1: in Vegas? Daniel? You'll know ce CS. Yeah, that's what
Speaker 1: we're doing. Oh shit, if you're going to CEES, come
Speaker 1: see me and Donald talk something related? I heart. We
Speaker 1: don't know. We just got a free trip to Vegas. Yo.
Speaker 1: Not only is it a free trip to Vegas, it's
Speaker 1: a night in Vegas, baby, a night in Vegas. We
Speaker 1: got to see a show something. We gotta see something.
Speaker 1: I know, that's what I know. You want to see
Speaker 1: some magic. But is it? Is it like Brittany still
Speaker 1: in Vegas or some shit like that. I think Brittany's
Speaker 1: residency is over, but I sure this is still up.
Speaker 1: See some skates. I want to see him. I want
Speaker 1: to see him stage. I want to see him. There's
Speaker 1: a Dell right, what other residents? I go to see
Speaker 1: a Dell too, I'll see it all. I'm trying to
Speaker 1: see some magic. Okay, that's what's up. You want to
Speaker 1: see some shit. I'm let me ask you a question.
Speaker 1: Let me ask you a question though. Are you trying
Speaker 1: to see like the prestige magic? Are you trying to
Speaker 1: see like I have to pick a card? Any card? Um? Well,
Speaker 1: I think the show wouldn't be card magic. It would
Speaker 1: probably be larger scale magic, like I'd love David Blaine.
Speaker 1: Is there? David Blaine, David Copperfield, Penn and Teller. I
Speaker 1: better there, And I just love some magic. And I've
Speaker 1: never seen it. It's been so long, but it wasn't
Speaker 1: since it's been a child. I was a child. I
Speaker 1: saw like a big magic magic show. This magic sounds fun.
Speaker 1: Casey's coming and I know she's gonna try and like
Speaker 1: get us to go to Adele or like some circulate. No,
Speaker 1: she was talking about she's trying to get us and
Speaker 1: she was like, I want to take y'all to ogs.
Speaker 1: I was like what, Oh, geez, that's a gentleman's club.
Speaker 1: We're not going to that. Oh she wants to take us,
Speaker 1: So we should tell you when your wife can go
Speaker 1: have a little couples the night. You're not gonna come
Speaker 1: with us. No, no, you guys will have a little
Speaker 1: couples nights. Hey, listen, I gotta tell you've got great food.
Speaker 1: I wanted to tell you, um that I she do
Speaker 1: want to see. Oh the water Cirque to Sela show
Speaker 1: I heard is fire? Have heard about that? Wait a second,
Speaker 1: the water show is fire. It doesn't make sense, I know,
Speaker 1: but it's it's I've been told for years that if
Speaker 1: you see one of those circue delay shows, the one
Speaker 1: where they're diving and doing all this crazy shit in water,
Speaker 1: is the one to see. Okay, well, look, I want
Speaker 1: to put something out there because I don't just want
Speaker 1: to play some blackjack with you, dude, that's what I really.
Speaker 1: I want to do that too. I want to do
Speaker 1: that too, But I want to put something out there
Speaker 1: because the odds on this happening are very slim, and
Speaker 1: since we've been talking about Vegas, I'm like, well, maybe
Speaker 1: now's the time. Dear NBA All Star Weekend is coming up.
Speaker 1: You used to call me all the time to play
Speaker 1: in your celebrity d D late night when you need right, y'all,
Speaker 1: don't call no more. You don't call Donald no more.
Speaker 1: Y'all used to call me for the celebrity game. I'm
Speaker 1: an old man, and now you don't want to. You
Speaker 1: can't keep up with your knees in that game. Can
Speaker 1: you listen? My son plays basketball now and I cannot
Speaker 1: You're right, I cannot keep up. But if put in
Speaker 1: that game, I will train like Rocky in Rocky what
Speaker 1: is it before Creed took over? By the way, this
Speaker 1: is probably not the best avenue. Aren't you newly friends
Speaker 1: with the owner of the Boston Celtics. I am newly
Speaker 1: friends with the owner of the Boston Celtics. Feel like
Speaker 1: he could probably help you better than a random personal
Speaker 1: listening to the podcast. I think listen. I think Wick
Speaker 1: could help in a lot of ways. But Wick has
Speaker 1: things on his plate right now, like a championship. He's
Speaker 1: trying to win one of those this year. I know,
Speaker 1: but I bet you if or next year, mister Wick,
Speaker 1: we have done on Phason on the line. Put him through.
Speaker 1: You want to practice with me I'll be I'll be,
Speaker 1: mister Wick. I want to test that hold on? All right, go?
Speaker 1: His name Wick. His first name is Wi. His first
Speaker 1: name is Wick. I'm gonna get that. I'm gonna get
Speaker 1: his phone number up right now. Let's see if he
Speaker 1: picks up. All right, Here we go? Are you ready? Yeah?
Speaker 1: This is the bravest thing I've ever done. Here we go.
Speaker 1: Good You better tell him he's live on the podcast.
Speaker 1: I am Donald, John Familia too. How are you man?
Speaker 1: Hey Wick, Amelia, It's Donald Faison. Listen, I'm calling you
Speaker 1: live from my podcast. I've got Zach Braff, Daniel Goodman,
Speaker 1: and Joel Monique on with me. This is a random call.
Speaker 1: I was gonna just call to see if you pick up,
Speaker 1: and you did. How's it going on right now? Donald?
Speaker 1: You are on? Right now? Could you just feel me in?
Speaker 1: Who is this? Zach Braf? Go? Oh? Man? Literally, you
Speaker 1: can't hear you. He can't hear you. Would you say? Hey, listen, sir?
Speaker 1: I don't know if you can hear me because Donald's
Speaker 1: not very tech savvy, but we are encouraging him to
Speaker 1: follow his dreams, and he has a big dream that
Speaker 1: I bet you can make come true. And Donald will
Speaker 1: now tell you what it is. Good ahead, Donald, are
Speaker 1: you ready? So the NBA has that salute? Can we
Speaker 1: guess what the dream is? No, it's not what you
Speaker 1: think it is. It's not what you want to guess.
Speaker 1: You can guess. No, no, no, no, tell me dream.
Speaker 1: So look, I gotta believe it's uh, you know, it's
Speaker 1: a one day contract for the Celtics, hopefully in the playoffs.
Speaker 1: Submer how do you know? You got it? You got okay?
Speaker 1: So drive always be closing, always be closed. So the
Speaker 1: dream is that I would play in the Celebrity All
Speaker 1: Star Game this year like I used to when I
Speaker 1: was a young man, but this time i'd play as
Speaker 1: an old man. Well, how are you gonna well, Uh,
Speaker 1: your acting shops can cover old man. That's fine. Um,
Speaker 1: let's I'll tell you what I think. It'd be great
Speaker 1: to be great for the show project we're working on too.
Speaker 1: Why don't we get on the phone with Adam Silver
Speaker 1: right after this? If you get Adam Silver on our
Speaker 1: podcast right now, I'll lose my No, not on the podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to hit Adam with the podcast, but
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what I think we can. I think
Speaker 1: we have a good shot at this. Yes, Donald, let's
Speaker 1: make this happen, and you'll call him right after the show.
Speaker 1: Put back on the other team, and then just who wins. Say,
Speaker 1: Zak can't play, can't play, Zach can't play best. But
Speaker 1: but but Zak just wants his dreams to come true.
Speaker 1: He just wants my dreams to come true. Is what
Speaker 1: he's saying the whole time. But he'll be there, he'll
Speaker 1: be there, He'll be right. No, no, no, get off
Speaker 1: the phone. You got a yes, amazing idea. All right,
Speaker 1: we'll make it happen. Always get out when you get yes.
Speaker 1: All right, yeah you would think you guys. It was
Speaker 1: really fun hanging out with you, guys, and thank you
Speaker 1: for having and hosting. You're gonna call him right after.
Speaker 1: I gotta go. They're kicking me there, they're they're honing. Sorry, guys,
Speaker 1: tell everybody who won the game. The Celtics won the game. Okay,
Speaker 1: when you get a yes, hang everybody, this is a lesson.
Speaker 1: When you get a yes, hang, all right, I gotta go.
Speaker 1: I'll talk to you guys. Thank you for picking up
Speaker 1: and thank you for being on. Thank Doctor's real friends later.
Speaker 1: Holy yes, dude, Yes, did it happen? That was awesome.
Speaker 1: That was a lesson in facing your fears and making
Speaker 1: shit happen. Holy cow, man, that's your Silver, So Wick
Speaker 1: cruise back and Amelia for salary. The two of them
Speaker 1: just made my dreams come true. Well, it sounds like
Speaker 1: when you get off the podcast, you're gonna call um
Speaker 1: the head of the NBA. Right, Adam Silver is on
Speaker 1: my is on my list to call it. That was
Speaker 1: a lesson everyone. The second you get it, yes, get
Speaker 1: the fuck off the phone because you're only gonna fuck
Speaker 1: shit up after that, say something stupid. No, you gotta yes,
Speaker 1: let's call Adam Silver after this. Okay, sir, thank you
Speaker 1: so much. I'll call you back. I gotta go. You're off.
Speaker 1: But this is all great for the show that I'm doing,
Speaker 1: man Like He's right. Man. The show revolved as around
Speaker 1: a family that is in the NBA and you start
Speaker 1: training those knees. Bro, You're absolutely right. That's why I'm
Speaker 1: in the gym every day right now. I stoked your
Speaker 1: kid would be if he got to see you play
Speaker 1: in that. I think how stoke my kid would be
Speaker 1: if he saw me freaking standing next to Lebron James
Speaker 1: or even better Steph Curry. Yeah, facts, my kid would
Speaker 1: look at me like I was a freaking golden shrine,
Speaker 1: like a yeah, like a statue. It's so exciting. That
Speaker 1: was so exciting. That was live manifestation. Literally, well, you
Speaker 1: know Wick Wick has the money to make dreams come true.
Speaker 1: Let's know what I mean. More most importantly, you like
Speaker 1: and this goes for everybody you know. Obviously Donald had
Speaker 1: access to a very high person. But if sometimes if
Speaker 1: you have a goal you're working towards, you brainstorm and go,
Speaker 1: who do I know that could possibly know someone that
Speaker 1: might know someone that could make that work, even it
Speaker 1: does not have to be on the level of the NBA,
Speaker 1: could be in your own life. And then you just
Speaker 1: about having the courage to make that call. And you
Speaker 1: got to make the call. If you if you wimp
Speaker 1: out and don't make the call, and you'll never know.
Speaker 1: But if you if the worst thing is going to
Speaker 1: happen is you're gonna get a know, but you gotta
Speaker 1: do it right. It's amazing. I can't belave them up.
Speaker 1: And they were like, yeah, we can make this work. Beautiful.
Speaker 1: I'm glad you got the phone because you could have
Speaker 1: said something like everybody likes a little last place. Have
Speaker 1: I ever said anything like that too embarrass I've said
Speaker 1: a couple of things to embarrass you in meetings before,
Speaker 1: I know I have, but no. But I went to
Speaker 1: a really fun Christmas party with lots of famous people,
Speaker 1: and you know you and I always mess up around
Speaker 1: famous people, and I stuck the landing. I did not
Speaker 1: say anything embarrassing to anybody. Well, good for you. When
Speaker 1: was this Christmas party? The first step was not drinking
Speaker 1: too much? Always? When was said Christmas party? And why
Speaker 1: didn't you take me as your place? Because I went
Speaker 1: with Bill Lawrence. I don't know if you've heard of him. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: it was Conan O'Brien's Christmas party, and it was really cool,
Speaker 1: you guys. There were so many fun, hilarious, awesome people
Speaker 1: there and it was it was blast. It was really
Speaker 1: really cool. Oh that's wonderful. That sounds like a lot
Speaker 1: of fun. I'm so glad I got the invitation Conan.
Speaker 1: Well I I didn't. I didn't directly get the Conan invite,
Speaker 1: although I made a joke to him, I said, is
Speaker 1: this my audition year? Because I would really love to
Speaker 1: be invited next year, like I know plus one. He
Speaker 1: said I could come whenever I want. But by the way,
Speaker 1: I ran into Elizabeth Banks by the way, who definitely
Speaker 1: wants to come on a podcast, And we were laughing
Speaker 1: and telling so many stories and she is like, hey,
Speaker 1: I know he's gonna come on that time, but the
Speaker 1: dates got messed up, but like, please have me on.
Speaker 1: So she's down. Awesome circle. You know, I love me some.
Speaker 1: You know the house I wrote ran into that I
Speaker 1: bet would come on the podcast because he's such a
Speaker 1: nice guy and super cool. Is Ryan Reynolds, No, Joel McHale.
Speaker 1: Joel Joel is great. Everybody loves Joel, and I just
Speaker 1: feel like, you know, he lived that single camera comedy life.
Speaker 1: He could come chat with us about about that life.
Speaker 1: He was on a hit little show called Community, wasn't he. Yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 1: And he's a really nice dude. Oh he's a great dude.
Speaker 1: I've done. I've actually played basketball on the same team
Speaker 1: as Joel mcale. We've done quite a few game shows together.
Speaker 1: You know, person I was most psyched to see and
Speaker 1: I met a lot of famous people, including Michael Keaton. Shit, oh,
Speaker 1: whoa person I was most like to talk to? Though,
Speaker 1: to be honest, was Bill Hayter, because I love Barry
Speaker 1: and I haven't seen Bill Hayter since. I once was
Speaker 1: lucky enough to host SNL, but I haven't seen him since,
Speaker 1: and I got to give him all the love because
Speaker 1: I think he is a masterful filmmaker. Barry is so
Speaker 1: incredibly directed often by him, and so I got to
Speaker 1: give him all the love. That's amazing, All right, Shore
Speaker 1: we talking about show Scrubs. Before we count in, I
Speaker 1: just want to say, if you haven't seen my trailer
Speaker 1: it dropped, please check it out. Other it's been It's
Speaker 1: so fun A drop today. We were recording on Thursday,
Speaker 1: A drop today, but it's just been so fun um
Speaker 1: reading all the comments and all the love in in
Speaker 1: people are sending about the trailer, and I just if
Speaker 1: you haven't seen it, go check it out either on
Speaker 1: my Insta or on YouTube or wherever you watch trailers.
Speaker 1: It's I'm really really proud of it. You know, today
Speaker 1: is a magical day, dude. Your trailer dropped. Ten years
Speaker 1: ago today I was married in your backyard with to
Speaker 1: my lovely wife, ye Casey Cobb. You know today it's
Speaker 1: the fifteenth of December. Man mark it down on your calendars.
Speaker 1: Magical things happen. Yeah, it's so vulnerable to put yourself
Speaker 1: out there like that, you know, it's but that's how
Speaker 1: you do it, though, Man, you gotta do it. This
Speaker 1: is your art, man, Your art must be freaking expressed
Speaker 1: and it must be heard and seen. Yes, and as
Speaker 1: Brene Brown tells us, you must dare greatly and put
Speaker 1: our work out there and uh and be brave. That's right. Yes.
Speaker 1: So my therapist told me to watch Brenie Brown's Netflix
Speaker 1: special before I launched my trailer, but I haven't. I
Speaker 1: think I'm gonna get in the field position and watch
Speaker 1: it tonight. Dude. Look, man, you're an artist, okay, and
Speaker 1: you have a freaking gift and you have a voice
Speaker 1: and it needs to be heard. Thank you, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. And so I'm so proud of you
Speaker 1: and congratulations and I can't wait for everybody to see
Speaker 1: this movie. And it looks really good. Man, holy shit,
Speaker 1: the trailer, yeah, please talk about it. First of all,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna cry. I'm just it was already happening while
Speaker 1: I was watching it. There are a lot of funny
Speaker 1: comments that were like, why am I crying? In a trailer,
Speaker 1: which I love, crying immediately. I also, you know, we
Speaker 1: had talked so much about Florence and Morgan and Morgan
Speaker 1: Freeman being in it, I forgot that Molly Shannon was
Speaker 1: in it as well. Yeah, she shows up. She's so great.
Speaker 1: She last moment so funny, So thank you, you know
Speaker 1: it's funny. A bit of trivia for Scrubs fans is
Speaker 1: that the very first episode I and a lot some
Speaker 1: of you will know this, but the very first episode
Speaker 1: I ever directed of Scrubs was Molly was the guest star.
Speaker 1: Was the one where she was an ambulance driver, and
Speaker 1: and it which kind of the moment that I learned that,
Speaker 1: oh my goodness, Molly Shannon is not only the hysterical
Speaker 1: woman we know from SNL, but she's got dramatic chops, right,
Speaker 1: if you remember, I think I told the story when
Speaker 1: we got to that episode that there was this end
Speaker 1: shot I didn't want to cut off of her. Bill
Speaker 1: was like, oh, should we should we cut to some
Speaker 1: coverage and I was like, no, just keep it on
Speaker 1: the shot. Look what a good look at this performance
Speaker 1: Molly Shannon's giving And and so that was so many
Speaker 1: years ago, and now I was able to call her
Speaker 1: and ask her to be in the film, and she's
Speaker 1: just she's just incredible and the most amazing human. Yeah.
Speaker 1: You know, she's starting to be recognized as an amazing
Speaker 1: actress too, you know what I mean. You say her
Speaker 1: name now and people are like, oh, she's really good.
Speaker 1: I know, but she's not just as not just a
Speaker 1: superstitive people. See you've seen the movie. I've seen. She's amazing. Dude,
Speaker 1: she's amazing. She's amazing and and and that's really interest.
Speaker 1: You know. That's another thing that I love. It's like
Speaker 1: you find people that you just would never expect these
Speaker 1: type of performances from, and then you get this, and
Speaker 1: then you get what you get, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like you don't expect this from Molly, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. Jim Parsons was Look, man, I'm gonna keep
Speaker 1: it one hundred with you. Jim. I love you, and
Speaker 1: I'm very happy that your career is taken off and
Speaker 1: everything like that. But my boy found you. I did
Speaker 1: discover Jim Parsons. I would do want full credit for
Speaker 1: Jim bound, buddy, you are a millionaire now, shout out
Speaker 1: Zack Raff. I want to say that for those of you.
Speaker 1: Some of people have commented that the legendary Jackie Hoffman
Speaker 1: in the trailer is the woman who's screaming about the
Speaker 1: guy being a fuck boy. And she is not only
Speaker 1: is she just legendary New York theater comedian and actress,
Speaker 1: but she's the woman in Garden State who makes me
Speaker 1: the shirt. She's the one who says, we get try
Speaker 1: on the shirt in case we don't see you for
Speaker 1: another nine years. The best part is when she came
Speaker 1: to do her cameo in the movie. I said, I'm
Speaker 1: so happy you're doing this because it's sort of like
Speaker 1: a little easter egg for Garden State fans. And she goes, yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe maybe next time, don't wait seventeen years to fall.
Speaker 1: She's all right in the trailer, all right, please watch
Speaker 1: the trailer, guys. It's called a good Person. And here
Speaker 1: we go five six, seven, eight stories about show about
Speaker 1: a bunch of nurses. Story so yet around here, yet
Speaker 1: around here. All right, let's talk about this episode. Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's get into it, because at first I was like,
Speaker 1: what the hell is this? Well, I think it's an
Speaker 1: important episode. It may be the funniest episode, but it
Speaker 1: really does boil down to one of the main themes
Speaker 1: that I thought Scrubs was getting at that the world
Speaker 1: is just now really talking about openly, which is gender
Speaker 1: and masculinity, Right, Joel, Yes, this theme of this is
Speaker 1: what does it mean to be a man? And this
Speaker 1: is a two thousand and seven was it a point
Speaker 1: of view? Um? And that's not that far away. But
Speaker 1: JD is wrestling with the other men telling him that
Speaker 1: he's not manly enough and that he's going to Cox
Speaker 1: is telling him that he's going to not be a
Speaker 1: good enough role model to his son because he's not
Speaker 1: the alpha male. You know, it's not even alpha male.
Speaker 1: He's just not freaking he's not doing what he's not
Speaker 1: following the pat you know what I mean, and doing
Speaker 1: what the pack wants wants. You know, if if if
Speaker 1: we are talking alpha at this point, Turk is the
Speaker 1: alpha in the hospital and is running the hospital the
Speaker 1: well Cox not so much. Cox is shown that as
Speaker 1: tough as you, maybe it's easy to take down. You know,
Speaker 1: you can walk around and be all puffy chest all
Speaker 1: you want, but I got your number. You know, somebody
Speaker 1: has your number eventually, you know what I mean, You're
Speaker 1: gonna get You're gonna get taken down eventually. So Cox
Speaker 1: at the end of it isn't. Throughout the episode, the
Speaker 1: janitor really is the alpha because he's the one that's
Speaker 1: freaking dictating what's going on in the hospital. But Turk
Speaker 1: with his wrestling and fighting with everybody, you know, and
Speaker 1: JD with his you know, it's not He's just I
Speaker 1: wouldn't say alpha. I wouldn't say alpha. At the end
Speaker 1: of it all, we learned that you don't need to
Speaker 1: be an alpha male. You don't need to be this
Speaker 1: freaking no, that's the lesson to teach us. But I'm
Speaker 1: saying what the episode is talking about at a time
Speaker 1: before people were openly talking about gender and gender norms
Speaker 1: and the and toxic masculinity quote unquote um. I think
Speaker 1: this show in and of itself, with our relationship, was
Speaker 1: talking about um um um masculinity and what it and
Speaker 1: what it what it's supposed to be. And I think
Speaker 1: one of the things that was groundbreaking about the show.
Speaker 1: People have told us over the years was they saw
Speaker 1: that you didn't have to be those those archetypes. You know,
Speaker 1: I've spoken about this. You know, we were in my school.
Speaker 1: If you weren't jockey? And and uh and and I
Speaker 1: don't know what's the word, Joel umb what not? Preppy?
Speaker 1: Is preppy is just the way you dressed? But I
Speaker 1: just if you weren't, I don't know. I just I
Speaker 1: just think that we're seven years into this show and
Speaker 1: and and Bill's finally taking it head on, talking about
Speaker 1: like what is masculinity and what does it mean? And
Speaker 1: what and and aren't there different types of men? Who? Who?
Speaker 1: And isn't it okay to be the kind of whatever
Speaker 1: kind of man you are? But you are? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I agree. I think that is the tone of the
Speaker 1: show all right. Written by the lovely Angela Nissel and
Speaker 1: directed by Michael McDonald. Mike McDonald who who is not
Speaker 1: only in the director of the episode, but in the
Speaker 1: episode as the husband of the angry patient because j
Speaker 1: D m is just she has a cold and she
Speaker 1: wants a pelvic exam. She really wants j D to
Speaker 1: She wants j D to ento her enter her without
Speaker 1: without without protection. It's what she's asking. She's asking j
Speaker 1: D to um an her yes and um and and
Speaker 1: and he goes no, It's it's not normal for to
Speaker 1: do that for a cold but anyway, she's wants him,
Speaker 1: she wants him to get rough. He's like, I'm going
Speaker 1: to go through you. And we learned later that JD
Speaker 1: has to scratch her um in order to in order
Speaker 1: to get away. Yeah, because we learned that he's not
Speaker 1: necessarily a good fighter, and the technique he uses with
Speaker 1: this patient is scratching her. I would have loved to
Speaker 1: see that on camera though. That would have been funny
Speaker 1: if she's grabbing at him and finally she goes like
Speaker 1: arches her back yet with his one nail. So Turk,
Speaker 1: who's mister macho, alpha male jock, stereotypic surgeon guy has
Speaker 1: gotten into what's called remote wrestling. That's when all the
Speaker 1: docks are fighting my club whoever? All the docks are
Speaker 1: fighting over who has control the remote in the brake room,
Speaker 1: and the todd is dressed appropriately. The Todd says I
Speaker 1: got next, And when we cut back to him, he's
Speaker 1: in a banana hammock. Ready to go, Yes, very ready
Speaker 1: to go. That shit jiggled again, Dude, it jiggles every time.
Speaker 1: It jiggles every time. Yeah, it's not like made of
Speaker 1: normal penis materialists man like jello. Yeah, that shit moves.
Speaker 1: You know those like worms we had as a kid.
Speaker 1: There's like a plastic thing filled with like gel. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like that. No matter what. He didn't even jump
Speaker 1: up and down. He didn't even like shake. He goes,
Speaker 1: I got next, and that thing goes jiggle jiggle, Yeah.
Speaker 1: I like the jiggle jiggle. My money don't jiggle jiggle yeah,
Speaker 1: and his penis jiggle jiggles. Um So Kelso tells the
Speaker 1: janitor that nobody cares what he thinks, and that really
Speaker 1: upsets him, and he decides understandably, like because that's so insulting,
Speaker 1: and he gathers some members of the brain Trust, notably
Speaker 1: Doug and Todd, and says, we're gonna do a newsletter
Speaker 1: to janitorial yeah, to prove that it matters what I think.
Speaker 1: And he's like, but we need an investigative reporter, somebody
Speaker 1: who no one knows is ever around, like could be
Speaker 1: sitting under their nose and not know that they're there.
Speaker 1: And he looks over and he's like, oh, hey, Ted,
Speaker 1: you've been there long. He's like no, and Ted's like, no,
Speaker 1: I I've been Remember I was sitting in that chair
Speaker 1: and you told me to get up and move and
Speaker 1: I think he sat on him at first, right, he
Speaker 1: goes and you sat you sat on me, and then
Speaker 1: you got up and you were like, hey, you gotta move,
Speaker 1: and you put me in this chair. And then hey, janitor,
Speaker 1: because the janitor's forgotten that Ted's there again, he goes, hey, janitor,
Speaker 1: and the janitor turns him and goes, oh, hey Ted,
Speaker 1: yeaho Ted. Nobody nobody notices him around ever, and then
Speaker 1: when they do, they forget that he's around. Yeah, poor guy,
Speaker 1: poor guy. But now everybody in the hospital is gonna
Speaker 1: know that Turk doesn't have a nut because of that. Well,
Speaker 1: don't spoiler alert did I go too far? Too far?
Speaker 1: We're gonna talk about your nut because it's one of
Speaker 1: the most bizarre fantasies in Scrubs history, and my nut
Speaker 1: fan the nut fantasies, the turk nut fantasies get crazy. Man,
Speaker 1: This isn't the only want fantasy. Yeah, it'll be crazy.
Speaker 1: You as a as a plant that wants to kill me,
Speaker 1: grown out of a testicle. I don't know what an
Speaker 1: NFT is, but if that's one, I'd like to buy it.
Speaker 1: It's uh, it's magical. You go the conditions, the scene
Speaker 1: starts off. The conditions are just right. We're getting that
Speaker 1: you jumped ahead, all right. So Elliott goes us into
Speaker 1: the men's bathroom where there's all this graffiti, and she
Speaker 1: sees in the stall that her butt has a raining
Speaker 1: of nine point two, what she assumes is out of ten.
Speaker 1: And um, but she was like, well, she goes nine
Speaker 1: point two. She goes, who, thank goodness, this hospital's full
Speaker 1: of white guys. Yes, because I'm implying that African American
Speaker 1: men would not give that butt a nine point two. No,
Speaker 1: because it's flat. Yes, Um I thought I thought she
Speaker 1: has a nice tushie. But again, I am a I
Speaker 1: am a white guy. Um, I don't know. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: might give it a nine point five even, but um,
Speaker 1: Kelso will soon ruin that for her and say, hey,
Speaker 1: just you know, that's out of a hundred. So Kelso
Speaker 1: is being forced out of the hospital, and we're to
Speaker 1: believe early on that he's on the phone complaining about
Speaker 1: it to Enid and he tells Elliott to keep it
Speaker 1: a secret and not let anybody know that he's you know,
Speaker 1: what's going on with him, and how he doesn't want
Speaker 1: to be forced out, and how he and this is
Speaker 1: what's happening right And immediately when Elliot says to Kelso,
Speaker 1: I promise you your secrets safe with me. Carla, who
Speaker 1: loves secrets, yes, can't keep secrets. She needs to know
Speaker 1: the teas and not what the kids say. Joel. Yeah,
Speaker 1: She's like, the tea has been poured. When can I
Speaker 1: get a sip tea time? Yea. Everybody agrees yep, so
Speaker 1: she needs to hear the tea. Carla cannot. Carlo is
Speaker 1: one of those people. If there is gossip and she
Speaker 1: has not been told, she can't function. She's like like she,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you know people like this in
Speaker 1: your life. But like if there's a secret and they're
Speaker 1: not in on it, like their day shuts down, They're
Speaker 1: like I need to know. I need to know, and
Speaker 1: they will do anything and everything to find out. Yeah. So, um,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be honest with you. I thought that's what
Speaker 1: Carlo was doing the whole time, when she was with
Speaker 1: the whole When we get into the show Elliot's patient,
Speaker 1: I thought Carla was being sympathetic to Elliott to try
Speaker 1: and trick her into telling her what Kelso told her.
Speaker 1: But it's real talk, man, Elliot's great at keeping secrets. Yes,
Speaker 1: she held it together. She held it together the whole way.
Speaker 1: Jadu wants to show his child West side story. This
Speaker 1: is supposed to be treated as like, oh, that's not mannish,
Speaker 1: and Cox is making fun of him and holding his
Speaker 1: child and saying, here, I want you to see how
Speaker 1: effeminate I guess your father is. And then um, and
Speaker 1: then of course it sounds like this kind this storyline
Speaker 1: kind of upsets you a little bit. It sounds like it.
Speaker 1: It doesn't upset me, but it taps into, um, you know,
Speaker 1: my real life as a high school kid, and you
Speaker 1: know I didn't play sports at all. Um. I was
Speaker 1: into the theater. I was into musicals. I was my
Speaker 1: bar mitzp theme was musicals. As you know, Lauren Hill attended.
Speaker 1: We've spoken about this. Let's hear it for the boy.
Speaker 1: So um yeah, I mean, I mean I was a
Speaker 1: class clown. So I made people laugh and I made friends.
Speaker 1: But there was you know, at the time, as we
Speaker 1: all know, if you were of a certain age, you
Speaker 1: were called gay, and that was meant to be derogatory,
Speaker 1: like oh so gay, such a pussy. You know, all
Speaker 1: these all this sort of bullying that was related to
Speaker 1: not being um Mannish enough. So I totally obviously relate
Speaker 1: to to that right on. Yeah, you know, I did
Speaker 1: play sports in high school, but I went to a
Speaker 1: high school with a bunch of actors and stuff like that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, your story doesn't count because you went to
Speaker 1: like the like one of the pre eminent acting schools
Speaker 1: in Manhattan. That's doesn't that's not You didn't experience like
Speaker 1: that public school Jersey life. No, I did not. I
Speaker 1: wish i'd gone to your school. You would have been
Speaker 1: at You would have been probably one of the most
Speaker 1: popular kids in school if you Well, what would happen
Speaker 1: is I would go to theater camp. And then it
Speaker 1: was like, oh, because like I was, I was great,
Speaker 1: and so many so many of the young boys already
Speaker 1: knew they were gay and and and and you were
Speaker 1: cool if you were good, and I was pretty good,
Speaker 1: and so it was like, right as you're going through puberty,
Speaker 1: like half the boys at the camp are taken out
Speaker 1: of contention because they already know they're gay, and you're
Speaker 1: just I was like fucking Fonzie at this. But I
Speaker 1: remember when you told me for the first time, dude, No,
Speaker 1: I went to theater camp, and I was like, that's
Speaker 1: a thing. There's actually a thing called theater camp, and like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I went to Shakespeare camp too. I was like, there's
Speaker 1: a fucking Shakespeare I think it a Shakespeare camp. But
Speaker 1: I but I went to theater camp at stage or
Speaker 1: a matter, and I would sob when I left. It
Speaker 1: was like I didn't want to leave. It was heavens.
Speaker 1: It was like someone showed me Utopia and they were like, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's six weeks. It's up. We're gonna go back to
Speaker 1: public school in Jersey. I wish I would have known
Speaker 1: that growing up. I wish I would have known about
Speaker 1: this growing up. That would have been my jam. It
Speaker 1: was heaven. I would have loved that ship. The kid
Speaker 1: haven't all day long you perform and hang out with
Speaker 1: kids that are like you, especially if you're a kid
Speaker 1: that you know that didn't really fully fit in. I
Speaker 1: just did never felt like my Like I was like,
Speaker 1: where's my you know, I had a posse, I had friends,
Speaker 1: I you know, I just never really I just always
Speaker 1: felt different. And then I went and found theater kids
Speaker 1: and I was like, and I should mention that I
Speaker 1: didn't really do theater in high school because I was,
Speaker 1: like so many kids obsessed with the way that I looked,
Speaker 1: and I didn't want to be like I wanted to
Speaker 1: try and fit in and be cool and and I
Speaker 1: was just doing all this stuff that wasn't me. You know. Um.
Speaker 1: I watched like Glee when I was you know, when
Speaker 1: when it first started, I was like, Oh, I would
Speaker 1: have loved to have been like with these kids, you know, right.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately that shit doesn't exist like that, man, Lee, Ain't
Speaker 1: Glee of a fantasy? Well, I think in some schools
Speaker 1: there there no I disagree. I think in some schools,
Speaker 1: depending on the school, there is a healthy and acceptance
Speaker 1: of of being a theater kid and being a singer
Speaker 1: and being uh and there's community there. Um and I
Speaker 1: probably could have found it myself, but I was too
Speaker 1: obsessed with trying to fit in and look cool and
Speaker 1: and and and hang out with the jocks and hang out.
Speaker 1: I'm saying that shit is a fantasy. Ain't nobody fucking
Speaker 1: singing down the hallways fucking talking about somebody said you
Speaker 1: got a new friend just because the jazz club a
Speaker 1: school hours we were in the hallway dancing fame y'all
Speaker 1: can say what y'all want to say, But fame Glee.
Speaker 1: You went to an acting school. There weren't kids. Nobody
Speaker 1: ever danced on a goddamn table with a boot jukebox
Speaker 1: with a boom box talking about it. I'm gonna live
Speaker 1: that ship didn't happen. I'm not talking about the heightened version.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about reality, right, That's what I'm saying Glee, Right.
Speaker 1: So the janitorial is the newspaper that they make, and
Speaker 1: and if they reveal that it's a try daily, I
Speaker 1: don't know how any of these people are gonna get
Speaker 1: any work done. I mean, we know that, I don't
Speaker 1: know how much work Todd is doing. I mean, he's
Speaker 1: supposed to be one of the top surgeons at the hospital.
Speaker 1: Although he seems to be doing surgery. This whole episode
Speaker 1: has moments where you're like, these guys are doctors. Well,
Speaker 1: I first of all, when is Doug doing any of
Speaker 1: his more more duties, because not only is he working
Speaker 1: for a tri daily newspaper at the hospital all, but
Speaker 1: he's hiding. We learned that he hangs out underneath the
Speaker 1: nurses station because he's developed a foot fetish from doing
Speaker 1: all from tying all the toe tags on the dead bodies.
Speaker 1: He's developed a foot fetish that is disgusting, is Doug. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's got to shake it up. He's tired of all
Speaker 1: the cold dead feet, so he's looking for some live feet.
Speaker 1: So this okay, So what does this mean? What is
Speaker 1: he doing in the morgue with cold dead feet? Well?
Speaker 1: I don't think that. It's not implied that he does
Speaker 1: anything appropriate. He's just developed a fondness for them. By
Speaker 1: the way, I got a I got a guy in
Speaker 1: my life and you met him. We're not going to
Speaker 1: out him, because you know, to each their own. But
Speaker 1: he's genuinely of a real foot fetish guy like he
Speaker 1: he could be with He could be with someone solely
Speaker 1: because of their toes and loving their toes. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I wish That's how I wish. That's how deep it
Speaker 1: got for me. I wish that's But isn't that I
Speaker 1: never saw? I don't think I saw that. Isn't there
Speaker 1: Eddie Murphy movie where he's can't be with someone because
Speaker 1: she has bad feet? Yeah, that's Boomerang. You never watched Boomerang.
Speaker 1: I never saw Boomerang. No, you gotta watch boomerang. It's
Speaker 1: a classic, dude, I remember seeing that. I remember seeing
Speaker 1: this scene where like her feet, how's somebody that fine
Speaker 1: got hammertime and her shoes. Yeah. Anyway, so let's take
Speaker 1: a break. We're gonna take a break and we come back.
Speaker 1: We are going to talk about more of the television
Speaker 1: show Scrubs, one of the greatest pieces of television history.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back after week. But do you want
Speaker 1: to say right back and we're bad? Hold on, I
Speaker 1: want to give you the other I want to give
Speaker 1: you some of these jazz hits, some of the people
Speaker 1: people haven't heard in a while. Let me hear it,
Speaker 1: you know, because you know they like this one. This labeled.
Speaker 1: This one's labeled hard riff. Hella back, this one's labeled scratch.
Speaker 1: You imagine someone went into work at like his name
Speaker 1: is Daniel, His name is Daniel. No, someone went these
Speaker 1: aren't Daniels. This came to this mixer. Someone was like, hey, Jim,
Speaker 1: we uh, we need you to come up with something
Speaker 1: called hard riff today and we're gonna put it in
Speaker 1: the machine. It's gonna come with the machine. He's like,
Speaker 1: am I gonna get rights to hard riff? No? No, no,
Speaker 1: all Jim, you're gonna sign away hard Riff and it's
Speaker 1: gonna be a part of the machine. Dude, forgot nailed
Speaker 1: it that that sounds about it. He nailed it. He
Speaker 1: nailed the n We're back music very well. Yeah, yeah, Okay.
Speaker 1: So Turk and JD are are proud of their friendship
Speaker 1: because they made the front page of the Janitorial. It's
Speaker 1: a hit. The Janitorial is a hit and everyone in
Speaker 1: the hospitals reading it, and Turk and JD made the
Speaker 1: front page and they're like, our best friend, our best
Speaker 1: friend is m is the best thing in the hospital.
Speaker 1: And so yeah, we make the front of the paper
Speaker 1: and and we're so stoked because we're proud. But again
Speaker 1: Cox returns to saying, oh, you're proud that you got
Speaker 1: your ass whooped, Like you know, how aren't you embarrassed? Yeah?
Speaker 1: But then something comes up where JD is now nay,
Speaker 1: he's named people by is it how they make him
Speaker 1: feel or anything? Because thanks herpes. Oh he's a guy
Speaker 1: silver bullet for everybody in the hospital. For Cox, he's like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's too bad. Not everyone's got a dad like you
Speaker 1: who's a borderline alcoholic and Cox like walks off in
Speaker 1: a huff and then the nurse is like, oh you
Speaker 1: got and he's like thanks, Herbie's got one. He's got
Speaker 1: one locked for everyone else. It's like a stand up
Speaker 1: comedian that has like, uh, like, um ways to deal
Speaker 1: with hecklers. Um, you know, locked and loaded. I saw
Speaker 1: the funniest thing. I'm sorry, don't remember the stand up's name,
Speaker 1: but he said to a heckler because there's nothing you
Speaker 1: can say to me. I haven't said to myself seven
Speaker 1: inches from a mirror. That guy. That was funny. Yeah,
Speaker 1: some people are losing their mind. No, some people actually
Speaker 1: getting up on the stage. Hecklers are it's at it's
Speaker 1: being a stand up comedian. That's a tough racket. It
Speaker 1: was always a tough racket, but now it is. Now
Speaker 1: it's like ridiculous. Everybody's crazy. Holy cow, you not like
Speaker 1: a taser on your There's so many people who are
Speaker 1: standing up in front of comedians like what the fuck
Speaker 1: did you come to the comedy club for? Yo? Like
Speaker 1: what was you doing there? Like what did you show
Speaker 1: up for? And then other people like one one one
Speaker 1: I saw one. Now this is some bullshit we had.
Speaker 1: Audience member said your jokes sound like you're a democrat,
Speaker 1: Like what the fuck are we talking about it? Like,
Speaker 1: holy shit, dude, Like that's where it's going. That's where
Speaker 1: comedy is. That is a tough racket. Like to all
Speaker 1: my stand up comedian friends out there, I freaking adore
Speaker 1: your resilience man, like that you are. That is tenation
Speaker 1: to be able to go up on stage and bomb
Speaker 1: consistently and then eventually get a laugh or two here
Speaker 1: and there, and then eventually all of a sudden have
Speaker 1: a dynamite set to start from the bottom and get
Speaker 1: to that. That's a long fucking journey, man, and you've
Speaker 1: got to have tough skin to do it. It's so impressive.
Speaker 1: I've never done it, and I admire so many people
Speaker 1: who do it. Elliott reveals to Carla that she had
Speaker 1: a dream where she banged Kelso and he was half dolphin, Yes,
Speaker 1: half though, and cal ass which half I'm hoping I'm
Speaker 1: hoping the bottom half. Well, how would she back Kelso
Speaker 1: with the bottom half? There's it's two. Don't dolphins have penises? Yeah?
Speaker 1: They do? They must come out right, Joel? Can you
Speaker 1: google that has Joel's browsers? Yeah, I'm sure that the
Speaker 1: dolphin has one of those things that comes out of
Speaker 1: the bottom and in some gross way. Yeah, because it
Speaker 1: would be weird if if if they were having sex
Speaker 1: and she was like do you like it? And he's like,
Speaker 1: all right, I love it. That's the top half. That's
Speaker 1: if the top half it's dolphin. Yeah. But yeah, I
Speaker 1: guess it's probably funnier if you were to go to
Speaker 1: the fantasy that you obviously couldn't go to on on
Speaker 1: primetime TV if it was the head part that was there.
Speaker 1: But how would you know? Was Kelso saying the bottom
Speaker 1: part would have to be dolphin in the head? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think the joke it would have to be Kelso's
Speaker 1: top with a dolphin body. Well, any any news on
Speaker 1: the how the penis comes out of the dolphin? It
Speaker 1: just comes out their video let me get photos. I
Speaker 1: did not. I did not. Have you ever seen the
Speaker 1: video of the turtles banking by the way, you gotta
Speaker 1: if you're listening audience, I normally don't want you to
Speaker 1: pause the show, but you can pause the show for
Speaker 1: two things. To go watch my trailer for a good
Speaker 1: person on YouTube. But also there's these really funny videos
Speaker 1: of turtles having sex, and they make a noise that
Speaker 1: sounds a lot like wow when they're when they're when
Speaker 1: they're when they're when they're fucking. And so there's these
Speaker 1: hilarious videos where they like they're like fucking anything. He's
Speaker 1: going wow, Wow, Wow, it's amazing. I love that you
Speaker 1: were trying to figure out a PC way to say
Speaker 1: fucking and then you were like fucking, I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: say fucking like they were. They were fucking audience, audience,
Speaker 1: please look up turtles fucking saying wow, you're welcome. That
Speaker 1: sounds like a strand of weed. Turtles fucking saying wow. Um.
Speaker 1: Now here's one of the favorite. We learned that JD
Speaker 1: got beat up in college and he's missing large chunks
Speaker 1: of that school year, right, and um, well he got
Speaker 1: he got beat up. His his his uh, his strategy
Speaker 1: was to catch the person's fist in his face over
Speaker 1: and over again. Yeah, not a good not a good technique.
Speaker 1: And his logic is he only had one fractured skull,
Speaker 1: but that guy had two fractured nubels, So it doesn't
Speaker 1: end of the day. J J D. Um, you know,
Speaker 1: he wants to be a good role model for um,
Speaker 1: for Sam and and Turk, Um and JD have made
Speaker 1: this pact that turn He's gonna teach Um Sam his
Speaker 1: son about sports and stuff, and then JD is gonna
Speaker 1: quote be in charge of Izzie's emotional crap. Right. So
Speaker 1: this is another like commentary on like, Look, I'm a
Speaker 1: tough guy and I'm gonna do the sports stuff, right,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna teach you sports. You're like not a tough guy.
Speaker 1: You deal with the emotional shit you gotta teach. You
Speaker 1: gotta teach the soft shit. You're right. And then there's
Speaker 1: a line that's very famous and beloved in Scrubs. This
Speaker 1: is one of my favorite This is actually one of
Speaker 1: my favorite lines. Also, this is a very popular meme
Speaker 1: that I've seen. But this is actually but when you
Speaker 1: put it together, this sums up our relationship in real life,
Speaker 1: in real life and in and in the show. Well,
Speaker 1: the lines are Turk, we're not married. When Turk says, dude,
Speaker 1: we're a little married, and I say, I know, I
Speaker 1: love it. We're a little married. We're in a throuble.
Speaker 1: We are in a throuble in real life. In real life,
Speaker 1: we are I don't get any of the benefits other
Speaker 1: than the friendship. But we're in a throuble. That's benefit.
Speaker 1: That is a benefit. No, I love it. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: love it. I love it. I love it. No, I
Speaker 1: really love it. No, I love it. See. That's the
Speaker 1: thing though. Whenever you're single, the thrumple is it goes strong.
Speaker 1: But when you're not, thruble thrives, thrives when you're single.
Speaker 1: But when you're not single, when you're in a relationship,
Speaker 1: the thrubles put on hold. I kind of like it
Speaker 1: when you're single. I'm not gonna lie I the thruble's thriving.
Speaker 1: I went I once. You know, I got your daughter
Speaker 1: some beautiful earrings for Chris. She's my goddaughter. I gotta
Speaker 1: take care of my goddaughter. I know. But listen, dude, man,
Speaker 1: she's seven years old. Don't get it, not like don't
Speaker 1: they're not like big hoops. Don't get it at heavy
Speaker 1: shit yet because I want her ears to look life.
Speaker 1: Was on advice from your wife. I said, what do
Speaker 1: I get her? She said, just get her some simple earrings.
Speaker 1: But you know I didn't go simple. I did get
Speaker 1: her little blame. She's my god daughter. I gotta spoil
Speaker 1: my goddaughter, no doubt, no doubt, no doubt. And I
Speaker 1: took Rocco too. He's got some Nike stuff coming to him.
Speaker 1: I heard he likes Steph Curry, but I don't know
Speaker 1: what to buy Stef Curry, so I just got him
Speaker 1: some Nike stuff. Steph is with under Armour. I'm not gonna.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna dis under Armour, but
Speaker 1: it ain't Nike. Yeah, do you wear any under Armour?
Speaker 1: No like, under like, No, no disrespect under Armour. I'm
Speaker 1: sure you developed a great product. Yeah, you know what's
Speaker 1: gonna happen. They're gonna be like this year's celebrity NBA
Speaker 1: match sponsored by under Armour. Right, don't face no longer
Speaker 1: invited recently cut for dissing under Armor. I truthfully hope
Speaker 1: I do get invited to this. I'm gonna work my ass.
Speaker 1: I think it's gonna happen. First of all, did you
Speaker 1: put it on your white board? I did not put
Speaker 1: it on my white board. Well, listen, the gentleman who
Speaker 1: owns the Celtics Wick is gonna call all for you.
Speaker 1: That seems like a good call. Yes, I'm sure you
Speaker 1: probably know um people in your rolodex who were still
Speaker 1: related to the game, and you can be like, hey,
Speaker 1: put me in coach. You know, the last time I
Speaker 1: played in that game, we lost, and I was on
Speaker 1: Magic Johnson's team and Magic was the coach. And all
Speaker 1: I know is Magic is mad at me. I mean
Speaker 1: he is. It was it was my fault. I made
Speaker 1: the bad pass. My dude, he did not look at
Speaker 1: you think this is a joke, Daniel, but it was.
Speaker 1: He was the coach of one team and Doctor Jay
Speaker 1: was the coach of the other team. And Magic. Yeah,
Speaker 1: now look, let me tell you. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you've watched game was it game time? Right when Magic
Speaker 1: came in the league, Doctor Jay was everybody's idol, and
Speaker 1: he would charm the shit out of you and then
Speaker 1: get you on the basketball court and bust your ass
Speaker 1: and you're like, Doc, it's me, and He's like, I
Speaker 1: don't give a fuck. I'm trying to win, right, And
Speaker 1: so Doc kind of charmed the shit out of me. Look,
Speaker 1: my mom, Doc used to go over to my mom's
Speaker 1: house when they were when they were kids and stuff
Speaker 1: like that. Doc is a you know what I mean, like, oh, no,
Speaker 1: word word life. Every time I see him, he was like,
Speaker 1: how's your MoMA, Blake. She's good. But it's doctor Ja
Speaker 1: too though, you know what I mean. And so like
Speaker 1: every time I see him, I'm like, because my mom
Speaker 1: grew up in Massachusetts and he went to U masks
Speaker 1: and shit like that. So anyway, every time every time
Speaker 1: I see Doc, I'm like, you know, part of me
Speaker 1: is like he's kind of like a family member to
Speaker 1: me because of the way my mom described him. And
Speaker 1: then every time I see him, he shows me so
Speaker 1: much love because of his love for my mother. Right,
Speaker 1: so it's like, hey, right, let me tell you something. Man.
Speaker 1: He put that charm on me. And we went out
Speaker 1: on the basketball court and I'm trying to win the
Speaker 1: game and we lose. And at the end of the game,
Speaker 1: I'm kind of like, oh, well, you know, I lost
Speaker 1: the Doc's team. It's all right. Magic wasn't happy about that.
Speaker 1: Magic was not happy about that shit at all. A
Speaker 1: matter of fact, he gave me the hand. You know,
Speaker 1: when you shake somebody's hand, you really not fucking with him.
Speaker 1: You give him five and then you kind of look
Speaker 1: the other way. Like that from Magic Dog, I think maybe, maybe, maybe,
Speaker 1: maybe maybe it's water under the bridge. It was my fault,
Speaker 1: though I will accept the blame. I do say I
Speaker 1: have an interesting question for you. Who would you say
Speaker 1: um would be in this year's team that you're gonna
Speaker 1: be on because we're manifesting it is the best non
Speaker 1: professional actor celebrity on the team. Well, look, this is
Speaker 1: how I think it should go. If you're honest, who
Speaker 1: do you think is getting I don't know that I
Speaker 1: don't know. But if you're asking me who should play basketball,
Speaker 1: they got to get Adam Sandler in there, because Adam's
Speaker 1: going across the he plays a lot of basketball. You
Speaker 1: gotta get Quevo in there, because Quevo plays a lot
Speaker 1: of basketball. I'm trying to think of who else. Barack
Speaker 1: Obama ain't president no more. I don't think I'm gonna play.
Speaker 1: I would bust Barrock's ass to cut that. It's gonna
Speaker 1: be secret service outside. That's all right anyway. But like
Speaker 1: I mean, if you ask me who I think the
Speaker 1: best celebrity basketball player, I mean you could get Michael B.
Speaker 1: Jordan is a really good basketball player. Jesse Williams is
Speaker 1: a really good basketball player. Jesse Williams is huh yeah.
Speaker 1: Like the list is ridiculous, Penis. Oh, I know a
Speaker 1: lot of people have if they went to the y.
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to contribute to this conversation. All right,
Speaker 1: let's get back into the ship, back to the show
Speaker 1: Scrubs and um so let's jump off of Jesse Williams.
Speaker 1: Penis will come back to it. So they have a
Speaker 1: male again in terms of masculinity. They have a male
Speaker 1: patient who has breast cancer, which of course is a
Speaker 1: real thing. And John the patient is so embarrassed that
Speaker 1: he won't even tell his brothers, his brothers because we
Speaker 1: got amiliated that he has breast cancer. We got to
Speaker 1: go back. So him and his brothers have like a
Speaker 1: real macho machismo attitude about shit anyway, because when they're
Speaker 1: coming into the hospital, one of them is uh describing
Speaker 1: encountered that the other one had as gay, and Carl
Speaker 1: even kind of you know, jumps in on it. And
Speaker 1: so when he finds out he has breast cancer, the
Speaker 1: last thing he wants is for his brothers to do
Speaker 1: that again, which is like, you know, that's that's really
Speaker 1: fucking That's when it gets deep like that, like your
Speaker 1: homophobia is really starting to it's it's gonna kill you
Speaker 1: pretty much. Man. You got you're not going to ask
Speaker 1: for help because you're scared of how you're gonna make
Speaker 1: your friends and family feel. Because I bet this is real.
Speaker 1: I mean, I bet this comes from Oh, I'm sure
Speaker 1: it is. I'm listen. I'm sure it is. I'm sure.
Speaker 1: I'm sure the story people that are racist. There are
Speaker 1: people that are racist to to black people and then
Speaker 1: see their doctors black and it's like, not that person.
Speaker 1: I don't want that person operating on me. You know,
Speaker 1: so it it, it exists. You know, it exists. Bigot
Speaker 1: tree exists. No what Well, this isn't necessarily biggotree as
Speaker 1: much as it's sort of, Um, I don't know what
Speaker 1: would you call it? Insecurity in your homophobia? Well, how
Speaker 1: would you call this him not wanting to know his
Speaker 1: friends knowing his breast cancer? Well, and because because you
Speaker 1: you view breast cancer as like a woman's disease that
Speaker 1: you shouldn't have, and right, and he's embarrassed because he
Speaker 1: has a woman's disease. Right, that's fucking Craig. Come on, man,
Speaker 1: After after she says to him, this is how deep
Speaker 1: it gets. Though, after she says to him, dude, everybody.
Speaker 1: Anybody could get this, right, anybody could get but it's
Speaker 1: not known is you know, even I don't know what
Speaker 1: the statistics are, but it's not known as as as
Speaker 1: something that people associate with men getting. Obviously they can
Speaker 1: get it. And so because it's known as a female thing,
Speaker 1: he's he's embarrassed because he's, you know, afraid of being
Speaker 1: seen as less than a man. I mean, that's the
Speaker 1: whole theme of the episode, right. Yeah. Cox is furious
Speaker 1: because the janitor has put it into the try daily
Speaker 1: newspaper that he wants cuddles and attention, and everyone in
Speaker 1: the hospital is putting their hands on him and trying
Speaker 1: to give him love, which is of course the opposite
Speaker 1: of what he wants. And he's furious with the janitor
Speaker 1: and says, if you I'll give you an exclusive for
Speaker 1: your stupid newspaper if you stop this nonsense. But it's
Speaker 1: amazing is that the janitor says, people believe what they
Speaker 1: read online. Yep, and that holds so true. Now, yeah,
Speaker 1: this many years later, this many years later, that whole
Speaker 1: so I don't know, I don't know if it was
Speaker 1: that true then, but now forget about it. People even
Speaker 1: say to you what do you mean I read it online. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they'll even use that as a defense. You're talking about
Speaker 1: I read that online. Have you even read like something
Speaker 1: about yourself online like an anecdote? And you're like, that
Speaker 1: is absolutely not true and did not happen at all.
Speaker 1: But you're like it's like you're not gonna try and
Speaker 1: fight the internet. You're like, all right, that's out there.
Speaker 1: None of that happened, but okay, yeah, like me, like
Speaker 1: me being in Uncle Buck, I can't get rid of
Speaker 1: that shit. It says you were an uncle Buck and
Speaker 1: I AMDB says I was an uncle Buck. I am
Speaker 1: not an uncle Buck at all. There's people that have
Speaker 1: watched the movie and said I saw you an uncle Buck,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm not an uncle Buck. I was
Speaker 1: a very young man, a young boy when Uncle Buck
Speaker 1: came out. This is a high school show. I wasn't
Speaker 1: even in high school. And there's a kid who's plying
Speaker 1: that kind of looks like me in Uncle Bucking. When
Speaker 1: the cargoes boom and explodes, everybody says I saw you
Speaker 1: an uncle Buck. I'm like, fuck you, I'm not an
Speaker 1: uncle Buck. Well, my version of that is and this
Speaker 1: is a big one, because this has come up many
Speaker 1: times in my life. Everyone Daniel some timpany. I did
Speaker 1: not ever do a cameo on thirty Rock. There is
Speaker 1: somebody who looks like me who once did a cameo.
Speaker 1: I think he's playing some sort of drum or something.
Speaker 1: But I get asked all the time if I was
Speaker 1: on thirty Arc. I mentioned on thirty Rock by Jack
Speaker 1: McBriar because he sneaks on, I think, to the Conan
Speaker 1: set and he's pretending he's on the show, and he's like, why, yes, Conan,
Speaker 1: I'm so happy to be on And yes I do
Speaker 1: live with my roommate Zach Braff or something like that.
Speaker 1: There's some mention of me very interesting that he went,
Speaker 1: but I'm Conan party for Christmas, and now we're talking
Speaker 1: about and by the way, he was there and Jack
Speaker 1: was there. Really I wasn't there. No Larry David was there.
Speaker 1: It was fucked up, man. I did very cool party.
Speaker 1: This is where I'm This is why I'm like, you
Speaker 1: know what else was there? I didn't tell you you're
Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna be bombed here. We gos, J j Abrams,
Speaker 1: me and JJ got beef. Now me and JJ got beef.
Speaker 1: I love you, JJ, but we got beef. Man. JJ
Speaker 1: didn't make the invite list to Cohen's party. I don't
Speaker 1: know why you have beef for them. No, we got
Speaker 1: beef because the motherfucker didn't put me in Star Wars. Man. Right, well,
Speaker 1: we're not done yet. We're not done with Star Wars.
Speaker 1: They're gonna more check us out. No, but check your buddy,
Speaker 1: Henry Cavill getting fired from the DC universe. Can we
Speaker 1: have all right? Listen, every I know you guys are
Speaker 1: supposed to be here for scrubs, but we need five
Speaker 1: minutes to talk for five minutes five minutes, we're gonna
Speaker 1: do two minute, solid minute, one minute to talk to you.
Speaker 1: If you hit skip twice on your thing, you can
Speaker 1: miss it. Dude. Holy shit. I feel bad for the
Speaker 1: guy really because they left him out. They hung him
Speaker 1: out to dry there. Don't you feel that way? Like
Speaker 1: they brought him back and they made him an announced
Speaker 1: he was coming back, only to make him announce he's
Speaker 1: not coming back, you know what I mean? Like, that's
Speaker 1: kind of that's kind of weirdness. Now, I will say this.
Speaker 1: I will say this, James Gunn is in my opinion,
Speaker 1: the DC movies that he's done are the better DC movies. Like,
Speaker 1: in fairness to James Gunn, he came in and had
Speaker 1: a new mandate. He didn't have anything to do with that,
Speaker 1: and he said, hey, I'm I'm that's not it's like
Speaker 1: it's like a CEO new CEO of a company being like,
Speaker 1: I know that you were just hired as the CFO,
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna bring in my own CFO. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: It's not his fault. He just he just was saying, no, sorry,
Speaker 1: we're under new management now, and that's not the direction
Speaker 1: we're going. James Gunn said, he's gonna give Henry another
Speaker 1: role inc they want. This is me personally, he should
Speaker 1: be Superman. I think he I don't know if he's
Speaker 1: the best Superman, but he was Superman and now they're
Speaker 1: trying to restart the thing. I said a lot those movies.
Speaker 1: Those movies weren't my favorite movies. They weren't my favorite movies.
Speaker 1: None of them were, to be honest with you, but
Speaker 1: you know what I did like. I did like Ben
Speaker 1: Affleck as Batman. It took me a while, but I
Speaker 1: did like him as Batman. And I did like Henry
Speaker 1: Caville's freaking Superman, you know what I mean? And I
Speaker 1: did like freaking uh Gallas wonder Woman, and I like
Speaker 1: Jason Momoa as Aquaman. The movie sucked, but they were cool.
Speaker 1: They were cool cast. I think he said something like
Speaker 1: I read today that he's gonna go young with younger
Speaker 1: with it too. So that's fine too. I'm cool with that.
Speaker 1: People keep asking me how come Donald phaz on his
Speaker 1: ear movie, and I said, he's a wonderful actor, but
Speaker 1: he can't play eighty four. Um so, but if there's
Speaker 1: a sequel, um, I will have to play older Morgan Freeman.
Speaker 1: We'll do some prosthetic makeup. You're gonna have to pay
Speaker 1: me more. That's all right. You had me, You had
Speaker 1: me cheap the first time. Now you can you do
Speaker 1: a Morgan Freeman impression? Well, Zach, I think I can't.
Speaker 1: All right, let's finish up this episode here, okay, um sorry,
Speaker 1: we're back everybody. Sorry, we had to do a quick
Speaker 1: DC moment. I don't even watch these movies, but I
Speaker 1: know how giddy it makes these three. Well it makes
Speaker 1: me and Joel. I don't know about Daniel Daniel is
Speaker 1: Daniel Daniel video games exactly video games. Daniel's like, is
Speaker 1: it in the verse? Is it in the new verse
Speaker 1: that's coming out? Daniel wants to talk about Elder Rings, right, Daniel?
Speaker 1: Did that win Game of the Year? Did that win
Speaker 1: Game of the Year? Yes? Do you like Elder Rings,
Speaker 1: Danel No, not my style of game, but it is
Speaker 1: the best game of the year, hands down. Does it
Speaker 1: look like Red Dead? It looks better than Red Dead? Bullshit? Okay,
Speaker 1: really you should go see the play Red Dead is
Speaker 1: the play games? Yes, I really want to go see Avatar.
Speaker 1: That looks does it? Does it look dope? Goes it
Speaker 1: looks on me? Dope? No, I hear I Every everything
Speaker 1: I read says that that you can you may be
Speaker 1: able to criticize things about it, but that it looks incredible.
Speaker 1: How can you bet against James Cameron? Every movie Hester
Speaker 1: makes well, he makes He makes good action flicks for
Speaker 1: damn sure. But let's let me ask you this. Did
Speaker 1: you like the first Avatar? Not the story, but it
Speaker 1: was pretty I thought it was cool. It was a movie.
Speaker 1: It was a blockbuster. Turk has a testicle removed? Yes,
Speaker 1: Jady finds out via Carla. Here's the what we were
Speaker 1: talking about earlier and he's very shocked. He says, did
Speaker 1: you keep it? And Turk says, why would I, which,
Speaker 1: of course is the beautiful tea up for a very
Speaker 1: twisted fantasy where they plant Turk's testicle and um, and
Speaker 1: they come back and it's grown into Donald. It's growing
Speaker 1: to plant Turk and he's got a leaf over his
Speaker 1: junk and he does he hasn't really learned English fully yet,
Speaker 1: but um he Jad says it's okay plant turk. Friends here,
Speaker 1: and then plants are tries to kill Jad and then
Speaker 1: j says, we have to find your nut, we have
Speaker 1: to find your ball, and we have to destroy it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Um thinks you never here. I mean if you planted.
Speaker 1: It's funny that Bill's mind or who members mind said
Speaker 1: that if you planted a testicle, it would grow plant
Speaker 1: a nut plant, right, if if you plan a nut, Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you plant a nut, that's the that's the that's
Speaker 1: the it'll grow into another plant. Um. And then we learned.
Speaker 1: As as he chases JD, we go into another fantasy
Speaker 1: where a runner is asking a doctor for speed to
Speaker 1: remove both his balls and shafts because he feels like
Speaker 1: it will help him run faster? Why stop there? Right? Hell,
Speaker 1: if it makes me run faster, you could take him
Speaker 1: and then it cuts Yeah, they cut right off, dude.
Speaker 1: He doesn't even get the dut he gets the d
Speaker 1: maybe he's like, you can cut off my dude. And
Speaker 1: then Jad crashes into a cart and he says, never
Speaker 1: fantasize while running. Now here's a question. Yeah, if you
Speaker 1: could develop some type of superpower, would you cut off testicles?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, no, I want my testicles. What's the
Speaker 1: superpower do I get for that? Uh? Mind his mind?
Speaker 1: Look mind reading? Can I turn it on and off?
Speaker 1: I think you turn off? You could turn it on
Speaker 1: and off facts. I think it would ruin your life.
Speaker 1: It's like when you can turn it on it off.
Speaker 1: You think it's turn it on it off? You could
Speaker 1: turn it on and off. Ir to give up my
Speaker 1: scrown them, you have to give up sack. Am I
Speaker 1: allowed sex or sacked? Sack? Oh? Okay, I have a
Speaker 1: couple of questions. Am I allowed to um shoot some
Speaker 1: meaningful loads into a test tube to one day I
Speaker 1: have a child? Sure you can do all of that.
Speaker 1: You don't have to give up sex. You just have
Speaker 1: to give up sack and you get the aility to
Speaker 1: read minds, and I can have babies via test tube,
Speaker 1: and your test tube babies can be born. Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: yeah I do. Wait can I have fake nuts in
Speaker 1: my sack or the sacks totally gone? No? You have
Speaker 1: just just just chafts, just chaft no balls now, okay,
Speaker 1: but I can mind reading. Turn on ball But I
Speaker 1: can mind reading, and I can turn it on off.
Speaker 1: You can turn off mind reading. Okay. I think it
Speaker 1: would probably ruin my life to read minds, but um,
Speaker 1: I like this idea. I'll do it. Yeah, Daniel, Wait, yeah, Daniel,
Speaker 1: would you cut off your sack to be able to
Speaker 1: mind read? If I could have the same allowance that
Speaker 1: Zach has that I can shoot a couple of meaningful loads,
Speaker 1: meaningful loads. Okay, Joel, would you have your eggs removed? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I don't want children. There you go. It's easy for than,
Speaker 1: that's easy for you. What about you, Donald, I've already
Speaker 1: had my my your removed. Well yeah, man, had your
Speaker 1: sack removed, You've had your tubes tied, but you have
Speaker 1: you still have a sack with two very girthy nuts.
Speaker 1: They are they're very girthy. They're like my word. They're
Speaker 1: like sugar dates. Yeah, they're they're plums for plumbs. All right,
Speaker 1: let's get back to the show. God um So Kelso
Speaker 1: lied to Elliott he was doing it as as a
Speaker 1: way to reach out for help. That's at least her interpretation.
Speaker 1: I think Kelso may have just been trying to make
Speaker 1: her feel bad, but Elliott interprets it that he's being
Speaker 1: a traditional male and not not asking for help, trying
Speaker 1: to solve this conundrum on her own, and she pledges
Speaker 1: she freaking solves it, though man like, well, she doesn't
Speaker 1: solve it. She pledges that she's going to help, and
Speaker 1: he seems to want it though at the end of
Speaker 1: is what I'm saying though, like, yes, that's the that's
Speaker 1: the mystery. Um I hit Turk by accident, and um
Speaker 1: and it hits Turk. Yes. And then we don't know
Speaker 1: how we're gonna solve this because Jad is not fine
Speaker 1: with JD hitting Turk. So we come up with a
Speaker 1: solution that for the tri Daily magazine, the Janitorial, we
Speaker 1: will do a Rocky three freeze frame ending do you
Speaker 1: remember the rock I don't remind me, remind me. You
Speaker 1: never know who wins? Okay, so Rocky one. No, you
Speaker 1: don't have to go deep, dude, No way, it has
Speaker 1: to it has to be done. Rocky one, Apolo beats Rocky,
Speaker 1: Rocky two, Rocky beats, Apolo becomes the champ Rocky three Apolo,
Speaker 1: I mean Club of Lang beat Rocky, and Apolo's like, yo, dude,
Speaker 1: I gotta get you back on that high horse because
Speaker 1: you beat me and there's no way this chump can
Speaker 1: beat you. So Apolo trains Rocky Rocky beats Club of Lang.
Speaker 1: At the end of the movie, Rocky owes Apollo a favor,
Speaker 1: and the favor is Apolo wants to re match. Nobody
Speaker 1: in the room got it right, and so Nowaday's squaring
Speaker 1: up against each other getting ready to fight. And at
Speaker 1: the end of the movie they throw a punch and
Speaker 1: they hit each other at the same time. That's a
Speaker 1: good ending, Rocky freeze frame. That's Rocky three freeze frame ending.
Speaker 1: All right, you summed it up very very nicely. By
Speaker 1: the way, Donald, thank you very much. If anyone out
Speaker 1: there is looking for someone to professionally sum on Rocky films, um,
Speaker 1: Donald FaZe Isabel, They're my favorite. I'm gonna be honest
Speaker 1: with have you ever watched the Rocky Have you ever
Speaker 1: watched Rocky One? I've watched them all of it when
Speaker 1: they came out and I and I remember watching four
Speaker 1: probably in the theaters with Dolph Lunger. If you get
Speaker 1: a chance, and you I mean it was nominated for
Speaker 1: Best Picture one Best Picture. Yeah, if you get a chance.
Speaker 1: Listeners out there, if you want to see a really
Speaker 1: good fucking movie, watch Rocky One. It's phenomenal and Stallone
Speaker 1: is great in everybody's great in it. But it's a
Speaker 1: really good movie. Man. It's like a well done there's
Speaker 1: a reason why he's still around doing what he's doing.
Speaker 1: Turk has Um named each of his testicles after the
Speaker 1: two main characters in Sandford and Son Lamont and Grady
Speaker 1: Lamont and Grady. Now JD asked him which one is
Speaker 1: gone gone? Grady still dat? Oh? And then there's some
Speaker 1: insider Sandford and the Sun joke I forgot. I forgot
Speaker 1: for the tiny, tiny percentage of our audience that knows
Speaker 1: and loves Sandford and the Sun. I like Son growing up.
Speaker 1: That was the best theme song, I think. But that's it.
Speaker 1: And we learned the ladies are gonna help um. Ladies
Speaker 1: are gonna help Kelso as sort of a to be
Speaker 1: continued dot dot dot. They're gonna help him not lose
Speaker 1: his job. He's gonna lose that job. Yeah, we all
Speaker 1: know that. Spoilers. All right, that's our show, everybody. We're
Speaker 1: gonna take a break and we come back. Joel's gonna
Speaker 1: play us some some audio, right Joel, Yes, sir, we'll
Speaker 1: be right back after these words, and we're back. What
Speaker 1: you're trying to get into a day shoon? What you're
Speaker 1: trying to do? What are you trying to get into?
Speaker 1: Day shoon? I'm trying to get into the bathroom. I'm
Speaker 1: going to a sports match this uh, this weekend. It's
Speaker 1: it's the football one and it's the La Rams Verse
Speaker 1: the Titans. Oh okay, look at you going to Rams
Speaker 1: games all of a sudden. Well, um, it's a nice activity. Donald.
Speaker 1: You go watch the sports and have a little drink, drink,
Speaker 1: have a little drinking drink with some campadres. Hear. I
Speaker 1: don't really follow the game that much. I find it
Speaker 1: not as interesting as the drinking with campadre's part. As
Speaker 1: I told you, my father would drag me to the
Speaker 1: Nets games as a child, and I just want to
Speaker 1: know where Duncan in the mascot was amazing. I would
Speaker 1: just watch Duncan the whole game. That Duncan. That sums
Speaker 1: up my how I felt about the supports. I was
Speaker 1: just my dad was screaming at the game, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: where's Duncan. He's hilarious. Duncan was hilarious, really good mascot.
Speaker 1: Whoever played Duncan in the mid eighties nailed it all. Right,
Speaker 1: let's hear Joelle, what do we got? What you got
Speaker 1: for us? Okay, this first one, it's from Andy McGirk.
Speaker 1: Andy McGirk, Hey, guys, it's Andy here. I've sent you
Speaker 1: a pitch before, but I've got a better idea now. Ow.
Speaker 1: The only way I think I can truly sell this
Speaker 1: is if to attempt an Australian accident. There, he go
Speaker 1: al on, mit, I've got a fantastic idea for your
Speaker 1: new project for you guys. It's called Fake Doctor's Real
Speaker 1: Friends the musical. So basically the storyline would be that
Speaker 1: we have two struggling actors doing a podcast, but they
Speaker 1: both have doctors as their folks. Anyway, one of them
Speaker 1: has the idea that who earn a liud been more
Speaker 1: money and have a theme for their new podcasts. They
Speaker 1: could use their parents' medical books, try and learn them
Speaker 1: live scripts, and then apply for jobs as actual doctors.
Speaker 1: They go ahead and apply, they land the job, and
Speaker 1: they're all mannishing anigans take place across the rest of
Speaker 1: the musical Okay, speaking normally, I know what you're thinking.
Speaker 1: How does this tie in with Zach and Donald's podcast. Well,
Speaker 1: all the songs in musical will be from Zach's soundboard.
Speaker 1: We great musical numbers such as what are you trying
Speaker 1: to get into, Zach, I Love You, wou Tang Forever?
Speaker 1: And the Tony Award winning song which I will play
Speaker 1: for you now. It doesn't matter it. I have no
Speaker 1: faith in future musical enjoy. Wow, all right, I'm speechless.
Speaker 1: I love the musical number. I love the musical number two.
Speaker 1: I think we've got something there. Yeah, we might need
Speaker 1: that for the soundboard, Daniel, Um. That might have to
Speaker 1: that might have to make more appearances. Well, I think
Speaker 1: this is a lesson in pitching. Everybody. You don't want
Speaker 1: to upstage your pitch um with um with something like
Speaker 1: an Australian accent, because it becomes a little tricky to
Speaker 1: hear what what what? What's happening? I didn't understand what
Speaker 1: did didn't he have an Australian accent before? Now I
Speaker 1: believe he had an English accent. Um right, Joel maybe?
Speaker 1: And then he put on because he knows we love
Speaker 1: that Australian guy so much. He was trying to piggyback
Speaker 1: on his his god it and uh and I think
Speaker 1: things went a little little awry with the pitch. But
Speaker 1: he wrote a beautiful song. Beautiful song because everybody does
Speaker 1: love a little ass play, I know. But what he's
Speaker 1: saying is we could make a whole musical out of
Speaker 1: songs on the songboard. What you're trying to get into
Speaker 1: a day's shoes? It's like a melancholic uh, like a
Speaker 1: little ballad in the show. Like yeah, it's like I'm
Speaker 1: holding your face and I just don't know what you
Speaker 1: want to get into it? And you can picture all
Speaker 1: the dancers behind us. But I got one hand on
Speaker 1: your on your chest and one hand on your on
Speaker 1: your face, and I'm like, what you're trying to get
Speaker 1: into a dale shoe? I don't know the rest of
Speaker 1: the lyrics yet, but I'm sold. Well, do you know
Speaker 1: the rest of the lyrics. Don't do that what you're
Speaker 1: trying to do. That's right, you're trying to do that thing.
Speaker 1: You're trying to get into a day shoe. What is it?
Speaker 1: I feel you're trying to get into my rib cage
Speaker 1: where I keep my heart. Wow. Just make sure when
Speaker 1: you get in there, don't be afraid. Yeah, hold me clothes. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's a gay love story. It doesn't have to be gay.
Speaker 1: Why does it have to be gay? I just I
Speaker 1: just assumed it was a gay love story. It doesn't
Speaker 1: need to be. It could be a platonic Just because
Speaker 1: we cuddle and hold each other, that doesn't make us gay. Buddy,
Speaker 1: I need that for the soundboard. All right, listen, Daniel,
Speaker 1: you missed it. I'm gonna have some soundboard entries in there.
Speaker 1: Fantastic Um, thank you for the pitch. We love the song,
Speaker 1: but that's uh, we're gonna We're gonna pass on the rest,
Speaker 1: all right, Joel, this must be a pitch for a
Speaker 1: new podcast with Zack and Donald. So actually, because this
Speaker 1: is our final show of the year, and because Donald
Speaker 1: has requested it so frequently, here's Stephen Brandon. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: all right, Well he has listen. He's got more and
Speaker 1: I want to just see. This is our final show
Speaker 1: of the year because we're going to take time off
Speaker 1: for the holidays and we love y'all so much and
Speaker 1: this is so fun. We love doing this, so thank
Speaker 1: you for listening. Um, all right, go into it. Hey guys,
Speaker 1: it's Stephen Brandon here, your favorite Australian crypt keeper. Yes,
Speaker 1: I am a proud member of the two First Names Club.
Speaker 1: There's Billy, Joel, Bob Dylan, Steve Martin, Larry David, Jennifer Lawrence,
Speaker 1: and now Stephen Brandon. As requested, I have some more
Speaker 1: pictures for you guys. Here we go. Number one. Two
Speaker 1: best friends are involved in a nuclear accident and become heroes,
Speaker 1: but there's a catch. Each day they both get a
Speaker 1: new superpower that only lasts for that day, and they
Speaker 1: must figure out what it is and how to use
Speaker 1: it to save the city. Zack and Donald are unlikely
Speaker 1: superheroes in twenty four hour Power Yeah. Number two. Both
Speaker 1: recently single, two best friends move to a quaint town
Speaker 1: to run a successful bed and breakfast. A year later,
Speaker 1: their grown children go bust and show up homeless and unemployed,
Speaker 1: leaving the men with no choice but to take them in,
Speaker 1: teach them the business, and become a family. Zach and
Speaker 1: Donald are innkeepers in Everybody's In and number three, when
Speaker 1: celebrities Zach Braff and Donald fayze On swap bodies, they
Speaker 1: must learn patience and restraint as they live as each
Speaker 1: other for a week. Donald enjoys the white boy bachelor
Speaker 1: lifestyle too much, as Zach does his best to avoid
Speaker 1: sleeping with the beautiful Casey Cobb. Zach and Donald are
Speaker 1: each other in Thirsty Thursday, look like those ideas and
Speaker 1: can't wait to get in the chair and play on
Speaker 1: Narrata one day. Thanks. I love I love his ideas,
Speaker 1: always funny. We gotta have him on the podcast just
Speaker 1: one time. I want just one time. I want to
Speaker 1: have him one and just have We could do a
Speaker 1: we can do to fix your life, but not really
Speaker 1: a fiction. He needs to be on the show. Listen.
Speaker 1: The funny thing about him is even though he's just funny,
Speaker 1: and I want to tell him that, Like, I know
Speaker 1: he's doing these his funny joke pitches for us, but
Speaker 1: he should like pitch real shit because because he's funny
Speaker 1: and he's charming any and he and he and even
Speaker 1: though his ideas are zany, he comes up with funny
Speaker 1: little hooks, you know. Yeah, like the wife swapping one.
Speaker 1: What do you think of that? I like that too,
Speaker 1: But I like the superpower. I think Casey we have
Speaker 1: to play herself, Zach goes love you. Yeah, that's fine.
Speaker 1: I like the superhero one. I think that's hilarious. Funny
Speaker 1: what their powers are? That is funny. Each It's kind
Speaker 1: of like quantum leap in that they jump to a
Speaker 1: new situation every time, but instead of jumping a new situation,
Speaker 1: they jump every every day to a new superpower and
Speaker 1: they have to figure out what it is because sometimes
Speaker 1: it may not be obvious. Right, that's clever. It's pretty cool. Um.
Speaker 1: I like that one the best. Joel put that one
Speaker 1: on the whiteboard. All right, thank you so much, everybody,
Speaker 1: We love you. This is so fun. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah,
Speaker 1: happy Kwanza, happy any holiday you celebrate. Happy New Year,
Speaker 1: Joel Daniel, I have presents coming to you. Donald. I
Speaker 1: have some presents coming to you and your kids. Guys.
Speaker 1: I bought a house and eventually I will have you
Speaker 1: guys in that house to hang out. But as of
Speaker 1: right now. That's where all my money is. So what
Speaker 1: you're selling them, what you're telling Danlon Joel, is that
Speaker 1: their present is that you're gonna one day have them over.
Speaker 1: My present is one day you will come over and
Speaker 1: I will shower you with Christa. Well, yeah, I'll buy
Speaker 1: Chris for y'all. Shoot, I'll buy a Chris. I'll buy Chris.
Speaker 1: I'll buy Spades that that jay Z drinks the Spades
Speaker 1: I'll drive. I buy that. I'll buy what's the other
Speaker 1: ship that y'all love? Nineteen forty two? That really expenses.
Speaker 1: I bought a ninety. Whatever they bring out at the
Speaker 1: club when you say I want bottle service, whatever they
Speaker 1: bring out for y'all when you come through, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: have a little section where y'all can listen to. It'll
Speaker 1: be like a couch and y'all can have fucking bottle service,
Speaker 1: fucking party. Who thank you, Daniel. You won't have the
Speaker 1: DJ and notting Wow I would. Um, I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: somebody bring you the bottle service with sparklers and ship.
Speaker 1: Your kids are gonna be dressed up like the waite
Speaker 1: staff and they're gonna bring us spottles with sparklers. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna put my kids to work and they gonna um.
Speaker 1: All right. We love you guys, Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Happy New Year, Be safe and kind and Donald count
Speaker 1: South seven eight about show we made about a bunch
Speaker 1: of nurses. The stories nevere all should know. So gather
Speaker 1: around you here. I'm gather around you here, I'm squat free.
Speaker 1: Watch your winds and time. Mm hmmmm