Speaker 1: Hello the Internet, and welcome to Season to sixty eight,
Speaker 1: Episode three of Dirt Atli's Like, guys, it's the last
Speaker 1: episode of the year. It's the last episode of the year.
Speaker 1: The school's out. Teachers are showing movies vibes. Episode. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's gonna be pretty half passed up in here.
Speaker 1: We're heading out, folks. It's been a great year, been
Speaker 1: a great year. You got a bunch of evergreen holiday
Speaker 1: episodes coming to you. But I gotta tell you today's episode,
Speaker 1: we're really uh, we're sling it in. We're just smiling.
Speaker 1: Who knows what day it is? Who knows if? Oh ship,
Speaker 1: I should start recording, okay, recording? Well, look, folks, we're
Speaker 1: doing it our way today. Like what's his name? The commander?
Speaker 1: What did they call Frank Sinatra, the chairman of the board.
Speaker 1: We did it our way. Anyways. It's still a production
Speaker 1: of I Heart Radio, still a podcast where we take
Speaker 1: a deep dive into America's shared consciousness. Today a little
Speaker 1: bit more holiday themed than others. It is Wednesday, December one,
Speaker 1: which of course means Team on US National French Fried
Speaker 1: Shrimp Day. M hmm, that's what I was gonna say.
Speaker 1: Humbug Day, National Main Day. It's also the solstice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: remember they turned and that's why we're doing. It. Happens
Speaker 1: because for the solstice, because it's so dark today. You know.
Speaker 1: My name's Jack O'Brien, a K. I have a little
Speaker 1: z idle. I listen every day. I love the Daily
Speaker 1: Sight guys with Jack and Miles of Gray. Zitl's idols
Speaker 1: idle those motherfucker's cray zitles idles idle. Both Jack and
Speaker 1: Miles of Gray get the guilt out Let's courtesy Ruthie
Speaker 1: always forgets fudge at Forgetful Fudge on Twitter. Shout ut
Speaker 1: to you, Happy happy holidays to everyone. I'm thrilled to
Speaker 1: be joined as always by my co host Mr Miles
Speaker 1: Grass Miles Greg I talk the walk to a bed
Speaker 1: lamb obvious because he is the reason for the season.
Speaker 1: As they all said, Uh yeah, shout out to I'm
Speaker 1: just I can't. I'm so excited. I was telling you
Speaker 1: when we were talking about this episode, I'm like, I
Speaker 1: have wild last day of school energy. Yeah, I'm coming
Speaker 1: in my fucking like I'm like already half dressed to
Speaker 1: do some ship after the bell rings, which for me
Speaker 1: is just to lay down so you have a blanket
Speaker 1: around your Yeah. But I think for we do the show,
Speaker 1: you know, very consistently, you don't really hear us talk
Speaker 1: about like how it's it's a lift, you know for
Speaker 1: us to two episodes of killing us people. No, we
Speaker 1: love to do it, but when we get to this
Speaker 1: time of the year, it's like it's weird once you
Speaker 1: start working, like when you're out of academia or your
Speaker 1: schedule is sort of tied to the like the seasons,
Speaker 1: Like this is like still that one sort of stretch
Speaker 1: of the year that I think, I feel like we
Speaker 1: can kind of be like, oh, relax and to those
Speaker 1: that are able to obviously, you know, shout out to
Speaker 1: y'all and those that can't, I hope you're able to
Speaker 1: find ways to relax in whatever way you can. Yes, yes, well,
Speaker 1: we are thrilled to be joined in our third see
Speaker 1: for this half asked of episodes. The creator and co
Speaker 1: host of Stuff they Don't Want You to Know and
Speaker 1: Ridiculous History. He's also the co author of the book
Speaker 1: Stuff they Don't Want You to Know. That makes a
Speaker 1: great gift for the holidays. Not too conspiracy. Theorist in
Speaker 1: Your Life it's no braday. Yeah, welcome ye are you looking?
Speaker 1: Are you looking forward to the holidays? Yeah, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: lay down for the whole time. Immediately following this, everybody
Speaker 1: was like doing the Wild podcast. He's like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: will lay down. I will lay down and I would
Speaker 1: not look like I will not look at any microphone
Speaker 1: for at least seven days. My energy at this point
Speaker 1: in the year is always Richie Tannenbaum, Like when he
Speaker 1: has one of his shoes, No, when he like has
Speaker 1: one of his shoes off during the tennis match, it's
Speaker 1: just like hitting it underhanded and just getting it like
Speaker 1: slammed back at him and they're like an inexplicable and
Speaker 1: he starts crying. I think at some point, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: oh that happens there. We have good editors, but that
Speaker 1: happens frequently throughout that episode Behind the Curtain. Couldn't come soon,
Speaker 1: It couldn't come sooner or I don't know, I see,
Speaker 1: I don't even know what that phrases. But the Royal
Speaker 1: tannonbamb is a Christmas movie. Isn't there some Christmas action
Speaker 1: in that movie or Christmas vibes? But I don't remember
Speaker 1: there being a Christmas all that Mark Mothersbam music could
Speaker 1: be standing Christmas music. It always uses jingle bells, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, just like the instrument, not the tune. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, I remember it's so weird. I remember like
Speaker 1: when Life Aquatic came out, I was so into it
Speaker 1: at the end of the year that, like the sus
Speaker 1: George like David Bowie covers from that album, I was like,
Speaker 1: this is Chris. Like whenever I hear it, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is Christmas music. It's so weird. How contextually Sometimes
Speaker 1: it's just like, yeah, I when I hear Rebel Rebel
Speaker 1: in Portuguese Chris, I was channeling my Blair Sacchi because
Speaker 1: at that point I was like it. He had done
Speaker 1: a couple of movies with Owen Wilson and then I
Speaker 1: don't know if that was this first one, but that
Speaker 1: was when I was like, this guy can't make a
Speaker 1: movie unless he writes it with Owen Wilson. That was
Speaker 1: one of his first that he didn't and so I
Speaker 1: was out on it right away. I had a boss
Speaker 1: that had Rebel Rebel as his ring tone, you know,
Speaker 1: like a look at me kind of ring tone that
Speaker 1: was always on full blast, like in an open office,
Speaker 1: and so, you know, I was trying to make conversation.
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, so you're a big music fan.
Speaker 1: I guess now, I don't really listen to music. Cool, good,
Speaker 1: good time. Shut that right, I don't really listen to music.
Speaker 1: Wait is that a song that comes out of my
Speaker 1: phone when people call me? I just oh no, man,
Speaker 1: I went to U N L V. Man. That's why
Speaker 1: I have this. It was a weird flex called back
Speaker 1: to a ridiculous history. Wait, what's so? Was the ring
Speaker 1: tone just that guitar lick that I'm on a loop?
Speaker 1: And it was just the loudest thing. And again open office.
Speaker 1: Everyone's just like, oh my god, I'm not a kid.
Speaker 1: They're like, oh man, I'm a fan of rebels. He's
Speaker 1: a ring tone rebel. Who even has a ring tone anymore?
Speaker 1: You know? It's just yeah, which is sad. He found
Speaker 1: silent like a human, you know, yeah, like or just
Speaker 1: little buzzing or at this point even the buzzing. I
Speaker 1: just stopped because I was getting phantom buzzings in my leg,
Speaker 1: like you know, like when you're like, it's my ship going. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's all bad. All right, Well, we are going
Speaker 1: to do a half as Christmas themed episode. We don't
Speaker 1: really have news to talk about today. What do you
Speaker 1: want to talk about? You want to talk about Marjorie
Speaker 1: Taylor Green and Lauren Bobert fighting? Yeah? What what? I
Speaker 1: wonder what Elon Musk did this time? Who cares? Grow up? Okay, listener,
Speaker 1: grow fired. We don't care what he did anymore. So
Speaker 1: instead of that and all, we are going to get
Speaker 1: to know you a little bit better in a moment,
Speaker 1: We're also gonna just talk about Christmas gifts, our favorite
Speaker 1: Christmas gifts of all time or the for me, the
Speaker 1: one that got away. Yeah, oh you didn't get that. No, dude,
Speaker 1: I'm fucked up about this. That that is. I thought
Speaker 1: my favorite Christmas gifts were homo erotic, and then I
Speaker 1: looked at your favorite Christmas grift, Like the commercial is like, yeah, Gacy,
Speaker 1: a greased up man with like a master blaster from
Speaker 1: mad Max body just like standing there was a mask
Speaker 1: and a gun just for unders. Yeah you need this,
Speaker 1: little boy, And I'm like, and put it on your
Speaker 1: underwear too. Tidy Whitey's. You know remember that when that
Speaker 1: was the thing. G I Joe Tidy Whitey's and he
Speaker 1: meant that was a weird still a thing with the
Speaker 1: with the Little Boys that we've got some Marvel guys,
Speaker 1: incredible Hulk. I'm gonna just talk about why I think
Speaker 1: Christmas movies need to be horn here, just in general.
Speaker 1: I think we are suffering from a lack of horn
Speaker 1: nous in our Christmas movies. And we're gonna then dig
Speaker 1: into The Old Man from Home Alone. So we asked
Speaker 1: our writer j m all right, man, it's schools out
Speaker 1: for for the winter, put a movie on and uh,
Speaker 1: just let us know, let us know what you're thinking.
Speaker 1: And he has a pretty convincing theory that the Old
Speaker 1: Man from Home Alone is actually a serial killer. So
Speaker 1: I think he's the Fisherman from I Know what you
Speaker 1: did last summer. That's an extended universe. That would make
Speaker 1: a lot of sense. Actually, that makes all the sen
Speaker 1: that would explain everything. To quote my favorite viral video
Speaker 1: from Christmas work Key for Sutherland is told he's a
Speaker 1: pirate and then says that would explain everything in and
Speaker 1: turns and dives into a Christmas tree. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: The Old Man, for those you don't remember, that was
Speaker 1: like the lonely old guy. He was so afraid of
Speaker 1: and then it's kind of like the d s X
Speaker 1: smashing a moment. Yeah, when he shows us snow shovel right, yeah,
Speaker 1: the snow shovel killer. All right, all that plenty more.
Speaker 1: But first, No, we do like to ask our guests,
Speaker 1: what is something from your search history that's revealing about
Speaker 1: who you are? So I just looked at this before
Speaker 1: we hopped on. I had totally forgotten that this was
Speaker 1: the last thing in my search history, as you do
Speaker 1: with search histories. We you know, in our line of
Speaker 1: work we search for a lot of weird ship but
Speaker 1: the most recent thing is the Ship of Theseus, which
Speaker 1: is a thought experiment um that sort of posits whether
Speaker 1: an object made of completely unoriginal components ak like replacement parts,
Speaker 1: is in fact still the original object. So I don't know,
Speaker 1: I you know, it's sort of like a Shortinger's Cat
Speaker 1: kind of situation. I'm not quite sure what the answer is,
Speaker 1: but it's fun to think about, Yeah, why did this
Speaker 1: pop up? Or what what? What? What? What inspired the search?
Speaker 1: We were actually Ben and Matt and Night who co
Speaker 1: host something that once you know, we're doing an interview
Speaker 1: with our friend Alex Williams for his podcast ephemeral about
Speaker 1: the ephemeral nature of podcasts, and so we were just
Speaker 1: kind of talking about if something exists only in digital form,
Speaker 1: is it really a thing, especially like a tree falls
Speaker 1: in the forest kind of question, like is it really
Speaker 1: something you can wrap your arms around? Does it exist
Speaker 1: in perpetuity? You know, knowing the infrastructure, you know, and like, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, societal collapse, doomsday times, could you know, literally
Speaker 1: render us podcast lists? Right? And since Alex's show is
Speaker 1: is a relatively limited series and it is all about
Speaker 1: ephemeral kind of objects, we recommended that he pressed all
Speaker 1: of his episodes onto wax cylinders and keep them in
Speaker 1: a vault, you know, for when this inevitable moment our
Speaker 1: history does come so people can enjoy it, you know,
Speaker 1: parsing out parts from dumpsters so they can make a
Speaker 1: hand crank victrola and listen to Alex's podcast. And you
Speaker 1: said you said an old school cylinder, right, not an
Speaker 1: old I mean, you know, if vinyl would work cylinder,
Speaker 1: maybe magnetic tape that does degrade. It's possible because you know,
Speaker 1: like there's so many you can like vinyl cutters are
Speaker 1: somewhat affordable. There there are and there's even like this
Speaker 1: company called Teenage Engineering. Speaking of nerdy music ship, we
Speaker 1: were talking about off air that actually makes a tiny
Speaker 1: little vinyl cutter that can cut like kind of low
Speaker 1: five violando these tiny little discs, and then you can
Speaker 1: use it to sample and make you know, low five
Speaker 1: beats for to study to. Alright, so Jack, we need
Speaker 1: to create we need to create the like library of
Speaker 1: Alexandria podcast on vinyl, every podcast episode ever can. And
Speaker 1: then the question became if if it has to be
Speaker 1: pressed or you know, put on physical media, then there
Speaker 1: becomes a hierarchy of which ones are worthy of this
Speaker 1: treatment because there's just too many out there. So is
Speaker 1: it about downloads? Is it about filling certain content categor
Speaker 1: gorries and having like a you know, a nice full
Speaker 1: kind of representation of like what podcasts were or are.
Speaker 1: It'll be who sold the most Casper mattresses that will
Speaker 1: decide entry into the into the Hall of Fame. But
Speaker 1: just if anybody doesn't know the thought experiment, it's like
Speaker 1: a ship where over a number of years, like they
Speaker 1: keep replacing broken parts to the point that every single
Speaker 1: piece of the ship is a replacement part. And the
Speaker 1: question is is it still the same ship, and something
Speaker 1: similar happens to our bodies, where we're turning over cells
Speaker 1: like many of ourselves, like on a near daily basis.
Speaker 1: And so you're, you know, almost nine of you is
Speaker 1: completely different in any structural form from the thing that
Speaker 1: you were, you know, five ten years ago. Are you
Speaker 1: the same person? It came up pretty heavily and Wanda
Speaker 1: vision um in terms of I think, what's his name?
Speaker 1: What's the red faced robot guy? Vision? Yeah, because you
Speaker 1: know there's like an evil version of him or whatever.
Speaker 1: And then the ship of theseus question comes up as
Speaker 1: to whether he is you know himself or whatever because
Speaker 1: he's been rebuilt completely from scratch. Yeah, damn, I'm not
Speaker 1: even high. I was really thinking about the can you
Speaker 1: feel like? I think? I think they it's yeah, you
Speaker 1: are the same person, and use yeah philosophical I like
Speaker 1: the deeper philosophical implications, but I wish I could also
Speaker 1: go up to like a credit Buro and be like,
Speaker 1: that actually is not me. My cells are different from
Speaker 1: that person. With those, I'm a different person. Score literally Yeah, alright,
Speaker 1: what is something you think is overrated? I think lying
Speaker 1: to kids about a weird overweight bear demand that breaks
Speaker 1: into your house and gives you nice things if you
Speaker 1: behave yourself, and undesirable things if you're a bad child
Speaker 1: is overrated. I think it's, like we talked about it,
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff that wants you to know about
Speaker 1: being kind of the original conspiracy that sort of teaches
Speaker 1: kids and then inevitably adults, not to believe the lines
Speaker 1: that they're fed, you know, throughout their life. And I
Speaker 1: think it's sort of counterproductive to do this. I think
Speaker 1: maybe kids are a little smarter these days, the Internet
Speaker 1: being what it is, kids probably figured out a little
Speaker 1: earlier than they used to. But I still think it's
Speaker 1: a weird thing to perpetuate, you know, a a tradition
Speaker 1: based entirely on a lie. Yeah, it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: if the first our first brush up with the Panopticon,
Speaker 1: it's the all seeing eye of Santa to be like,
Speaker 1: tecause you to either accept it or fear it and
Speaker 1: and not trust it, you know. And I remember just
Speaker 1: getting so angry. But I had a very quick evolution
Speaker 1: with Santa, because again I was so like one track
Speaker 1: mind about like you said, if I was nice, I
Speaker 1: get this, and I didn't get them, Like then this
Speaker 1: motherfucker doesn't exist, and they try and I was like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm off this. Listen, How how come Santa makes all
Speaker 1: this stuff that I do? You target? You know, I
Speaker 1: understand that either exactly exactly. It's not like we're getting
Speaker 1: rocking horses and handmade like you know, wooden toys. Like
Speaker 1: it's all commercially produced. Ship. It falls apart pretty quickly.
Speaker 1: Do you have the scars of living under the rule
Speaker 1: of Santa's all seeing? I you know, I just remember
Speaker 1: finding like I got a joke coo. Remember Joe Cool.
Speaker 1: He was like Snoopy, like the cool guy version of Snoopy. Well,
Speaker 1: I found it was also, yeah, exactly, I found this
Speaker 1: like skateboard, this Joe Cool skateboard in my parents closet.
Speaker 1: You know, I think I think everyone has that story.
Speaker 1: But yeah, and then I was just like I didn't.
Speaker 1: I don't think I I didn't really call them on it.
Speaker 1: I just sort of let it go for a couple
Speaker 1: of years, and then I think up naturally like it does.
Speaker 1: I think most kids figured out before their parents realized
Speaker 1: they do, and they just keep playing along because they
Speaker 1: don't want to like wreck the grift. Yeah, not me.
Speaker 1: I was buying that ship. I was like, why would
Speaker 1: they lie to us? That's crazy to my older sister,
Speaker 1: you know. A couple of years back, it was hard.
Speaker 1: I remember, Yeah, I remember seeing the gift and getting
Speaker 1: it on Christmas, just being like, weird they got the
Speaker 1: same thing for me. Remember getting pissed one year because
Speaker 1: I found a gift Like you guys don't even fucking trying.
Speaker 1: She was in the garage just like out there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like you think I'm not gonna look in the toys
Speaker 1: r us bag. We don't have that ship in the
Speaker 1: house ever, Like, yeah, it was, I think, And then
Speaker 1: most of the time it was just my like mom
Speaker 1: trying to do her best to like hide ship in
Speaker 1: the weirdest places so I wouldn't because I was like
Speaker 1: flipping the house like the fetes. Yeah. But yeah, once
Speaker 1: I learned it was a lie, I started smoking. That
Speaker 1: was immediately. Yeah. I was like, I switched from Joe
Speaker 1: Cool the state. Yeah, that's why I thought you were
Speaker 1: talking about For some reason, saying Joe Cool just put
Speaker 1: it sticks in my head and Joe cambl oh Jack
Speaker 1: forgot about him. It's don't like it later. What's something
Speaker 1: is underrated? I think eggnog is underrated, but that might
Speaker 1: just be you know, a lot of people think it's gross.
Speaker 1: I think it's great as great as a flavor. It's
Speaker 1: great as a boozey drink. I like it in like
Speaker 1: lattes and cakes and whatever. I just love the flavor.
Speaker 1: And Alex Williams again the ephemeral creator and host. Every year,
Speaker 1: at least back when we were in an office, he
Speaker 1: would make George Washington's eggnog recipe, which contains no less
Speaker 1: than like eight different kinds of booze and like raw
Speaker 1: eggs and games all they like. Have you ever read
Speaker 1: the like list of the booze that was consumed during
Speaker 1: the time when they were like drafting the Constitution a
Speaker 1: receipt from It's amazing. It's like bathtub, it's swimming pools
Speaker 1: of like gin and just like all of the like
Speaker 1: dark booze that would make you feel like ship and
Speaker 1: make you incapable of like doing anything. That's all they drank.
Speaker 1: They partied so hard. It's crazy, and it's crazy because today,
Speaker 1: like if you find out that a lawyer or a
Speaker 1: judge had a drink, it's a mistrial. But we based
Speaker 1: our entire democracy on a document drafted by a bunch
Speaker 1: of booze hounds. They were actively drinking, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they used to make room for functional alcoholics because that
Speaker 1: was like kind of all there was was because they
Speaker 1: couldn't Like water wasn't really good back then, it was tainted.
Speaker 1: Is this water been treated with alcohol? Then I cannot drink?
Speaker 1: Where are you going, George, I'm going hanging out with
Speaker 1: the other slavers to figure some ship out about the
Speaker 1: al right, now, get the funk off my back. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a living document. Yeah, which is so funny. I
Speaker 1: wonder like, how if you know someone tried to get
Speaker 1: one of these like Supreme Court justices or these like
Speaker 1: strict constitutionalist type people when you like bring that up,
Speaker 1: like you're like, do you think that may have had
Speaker 1: any effect? Like knowing on paper on wax they were
Speaker 1: fucking smashed too, but sanctified, sanctified. Yeah, alright, let's let's
Speaker 1: take one one quick break. We'll be back. We'll talk
Speaker 1: our Christmas ship and then we will bid you ad
Speaker 1: not gang and we're back and yeah, so we're talking
Speaker 1: Christmas stuff. Yeah. Loosely formattic miles, you brought to my
Speaker 1: attention the most homo erotic child's toy I've ever said. Okay,
Speaker 1: so I was just thinking about Christmas, right, and I'm thinking, like,
Speaker 1: the last toy I wanted so fucking bad was this
Speaker 1: thing called the Eliminator t S seven and came out
Speaker 1: like ninety two, and I wanted this show so fucking bad.
Speaker 1: I remember this kid got one for his birthday. I
Speaker 1: almost had a fucking panic at that because I didn't
Speaker 1: have that ship and yet, and I was like, everybody
Speaker 1: got this fucking thing. But I gotta play this commercial
Speaker 1: because I just I was having trouble remembering what it
Speaker 1: was called, and I was just like that nineties toy
Speaker 1: like gun sword thing, and the commercial comes up with media. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the whole thing is that this shitty looking plastic cube
Speaker 1: thing with a fucking like phallic thing just shooting off
Speaker 1: the side is like a seven and one weapon. But
Speaker 1: I do want to play the commercial because it absolutely is.
Speaker 1: It's not anything I remember. The sword has the silhouette
Speaker 1: of a dick, like they've gone with a like you know,
Speaker 1: rounded sword. And then so you think, like if you
Speaker 1: if you watch the obviously can't see it because this
Speaker 1: is a podcast format, but if you're watching it, you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I see what they're talking about. Like the sword has
Speaker 1: a silhouette of a dick. That's it's like, and then
Speaker 1: they added an attachment that is just a flashing dick. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just a vibrator. I'll just play the commercial because
Speaker 1: you you will appreciate the nineties sound of this commercial.
Speaker 1: But please picture master blaster. He so he has a
Speaker 1: mask on with like a police helmet. Yeah, riot cop
Speaker 1: kind of yeah, riot cop without a shirt on, just
Speaker 1: oiled up. And also he appears to have been miked
Speaker 1: from across the room. I was hearing there seven off.
Speaker 1: That's a little shrimpy. Definitely, he's jack. Look at that one.
Speaker 1: That one it did. Then he just put a condom
Speaker 1: on top of another and he hit that. He hit
Speaker 1: the gun from the back with the sword. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: then it kind of goes through the front. Nubbin kind
Speaker 1: of sticks out the front, and it's just pre Terminator
Speaker 1: because that is a Terminator text that is Terminator fought right.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, this is nice. This is probably nine months
Speaker 1: after Terminator came out, and it was like, yeo, man,
Speaker 1: they fast tracked this after seven Oh it's the of course,
Speaker 1: the dash yeah, the limit amazing, amazing exactly. I was.
Speaker 1: I just remember being like, this is the coolest ship,
Speaker 1: and then I looked at it again. I'm like, man,
Speaker 1: fucking marketing fucked me up so bad as a kid
Speaker 1: that I was just like, I have no fucking use
Speaker 1: for this stupid thing. But it's like man, meat man
Speaker 1: is screaming in my face. I will please in doctor
Speaker 1: nate me. I have this distinct memory of going to
Speaker 1: like flea market when I was a kid, and you
Speaker 1: know how they have like booth to sell like weird
Speaker 1: knives and nunchucks and ship like that. There was something
Speaker 1: that was called a taser knife, and I just always
Speaker 1: remember that, like why do you need it to be
Speaker 1: both like so you chase them and then you stab
Speaker 1: them or or is vice versa or is it just
Speaker 1: in case they get up close? It just seems like
Speaker 1: one of the most difficult applications of a taser, like
Speaker 1: how do you do how do you safely? Because either
Speaker 1: are you are you committed to like sticking somebody with
Speaker 1: the blaze and then you're like, actually I want to
Speaker 1: go non lethal with the taser afterwards. But yeah, it's
Speaker 1: the the s and m vibes are like real, like
Speaker 1: his voice is like something good. What would what would
Speaker 1: the what would conservatives? What would Marjorie Taylor Green say
Speaker 1: about this commercial? Because it's clearly meant to be like
Speaker 1: this is this is boy shit gone knife boy. This
Speaker 1: is made by conservatives, but for the children of conservatives,
Speaker 1: they would probably Yeah, but just knowing how sensitive, how
Speaker 1: you know, the the faux outrage over anything seemingly like
Speaker 1: out of the heteronormativity of like you know, what they
Speaker 1: believe how men or women are or aren't that they
Speaker 1: would be like this guy's naked, he looks like one
Speaker 1: of these like you know s and m guys. Or
Speaker 1: would they just be like, finally a fucking role model
Speaker 1: for our young kids. It's a biker cop with I
Speaker 1: think I think that, Yeah, I'm with I'm with Jack.
Speaker 1: I think they would dig it. I think they would
Speaker 1: appreciate what it represents. It's got some Chippendale vibes to
Speaker 1: listening pectorials, you know, like yeah, so even Mark Taylor
Speaker 1: Green's like, I don't know, I mean, he's he's attractive. Well,
Speaker 1: she or she would be like outrage if if this
Speaker 1: was like I don't know it could it could go
Speaker 1: either way. It could go I think I think they
Speaker 1: would be happy that this was out there, mad when
Speaker 1: a liberal media institution pointed out that it was fucked up,
Speaker 1: and be like, you guys are sick, okay, But then
Speaker 1: also I feel like, invite this guy to their Christmas party.
Speaker 1: You know, like they were pictures of like with male
Speaker 1: escorts and stuff like with like Chip and Dale types.
Speaker 1: I could have sworn there was some like pictures yea,
Speaker 1: but yeah, then the application the toy itself is extremely phallic,
Speaker 1: where like different parts of the gun fuck different parts
Speaker 1: the gun. Yeah, and there's like a condom that makes
Speaker 1: the gun bigger or makes the sword bigger. And then
Speaker 1: ultimately there's a laser blaster that is a three dimensional
Speaker 1: dick that just flashes. Only we're also a super soaker
Speaker 1: kind of situation that would just really be the cherry
Speaker 1: on top of anyway by gone toys. And I'm sorry
Speaker 1: when you were describing this earlier, I was picturing a
Speaker 1: human situation. That's why I said Harry Underpants, because he's
Speaker 1: also an S and M E jacked kind of you know,
Speaker 1: oiled up action figure. That was my favorite toy Christmas
Speaker 1: present was the he Man Castle. Yeah, and those are
Speaker 1: cool bank now, I mean that like all that stuff
Speaker 1: is like seriously collectible. The other one that that is
Speaker 1: similar to this was a machine gun from the A Team,
Speaker 1: and I went, I was like it couldn't have been
Speaker 1: as I remember it, which was just a like screen
Speaker 1: accurate machine gun, like a black metal, metallic looking machine
Speaker 1: gun that just had a team on the on the butt.
Speaker 1: And I'm sure enough that's what it was. It was
Speaker 1: a submachine gun with a box that has one of
Speaker 1: the characters from the A Team just like spraying someone
Speaker 1: with team gunfire. And yeah, they it was the UZI
Speaker 1: like the they have a K forty seven M six team,
Speaker 1: like they have the real names of the right I
Speaker 1: had And it's a slick sound, right, It was kind
Speaker 1: of is that the deal? They even advertised that it
Speaker 1: like makes authentic automatic weapons sound murder sounds. Yeah, make
Speaker 1: your child feel like he's really murdering someone, just just
Speaker 1: be just he could be just like the Israeli Defense
Speaker 1: forces with this ouzi who were the bad guys in
Speaker 1: the A Team? Were they like killing commies or something?
Speaker 1: Was there a political bent too? I just have no
Speaker 1: recollection of this show. I gotta wonder who were they
Speaker 1: pitted against. I think I remember reading something something this
Speaker 1: year that what they had an episode that was like
Speaker 1: really pro union and they were like fighting people who
Speaker 1: were like union busters. So maybe like the team actually
Speaker 1: had like progressive politics. I can't I didn't dig into
Speaker 1: it as much as I should have, but yeah, they're
Speaker 1: fighting Pinkerton's and ship Okay, all right, y'all, okay, like off,
Speaker 1: we were fucking there during Haymarket Man, fuck it alright, Annibal,
Speaker 1: a show that is entirely about the worst marksman in
Speaker 1: the history of gunplay. Just shooting into the ground. Just run,
Speaker 1: run over a hill and fire an automatic weapon into
Speaker 1: the ground. It seemed to be their strategy at all,
Speaker 1: at all times. While we're still on toys, Canna ask
Speaker 1: you guys, Um, have you guys heard of Trumpy Bear?
Speaker 1: Has this crossed your path? And yeah, yeah, a buddy
Speaker 1: of mine's dad lives in Queens and it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: Fox News isn't right wing enough for him, so he's
Speaker 1: a news Max dude. Um. He sent me a video
Speaker 1: of this like mail order commercial like from the old days.
Speaker 1: It was like the eight hundred number for this thing
Speaker 1: called Trumpy Bear and he's you know, double thumbs up.
Speaker 1: He's got the swath of you know, weird hair and
Speaker 1: he's yeah, and he's got like a little zipper pouched
Speaker 1: on his back of his neck. The unfurls like an
Speaker 1: American flag cape. And he bought it for his dad
Speaker 1: and pushed the video of it on social that. I
Speaker 1: was just tickled by the we should play because the
Speaker 1: opening is like, it's like, I think you should leave.
Speaker 1: It's it's absolutely the wind whispered through the forest, A
Speaker 1: storm is coming. Storm from the trees rose the resounding voice.
Speaker 1: Why fear nothing. I come when the trumpet sound the
Speaker 1: way that line was delivered. I come when the trumpets
Speaker 1: sounds like, okay through I am the storm. The Great
Speaker 1: American Grizzly introducing the original Trumpy Bear super plus American
Speaker 1: trump Bear was born June fourteen. However you want to
Speaker 1: you know, born flag day. Hold that l you fucking lives.
Speaker 1: This is wild. Yeah, I mean it seems like it's
Speaker 1: specifically designed to piss off liberal people like yeah, but
Speaker 1: also like but luckily they're they don't have like a
Speaker 1: very discerning audience, so they're not like, oh, this is
Speaker 1: a little too hack for me. We're like, just get
Speaker 1: to the part. Okay, American flag right whispered through the forest,
Speaker 1: such a wild and the trumpets sound. That's what it said.
Speaker 1: Oh wind whispered through the forest that a storm is coming.
Speaker 1: Like you just just jumped straight to Q from that
Speaker 1: first sentence. But and they and they said the Great
Speaker 1: American grizzly as like that was the climax, which leads
Speaker 1: me to believe that they did not get the market,
Speaker 1: like the trademark rights to Trump's likeness, right, Like that
Speaker 1: must be why they didn't. They don't really like mentioned
Speaker 1: Donald Trump. Oh, because it's like a grift on a griff,
Speaker 1: because that he's like he can sue them. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean it's just cool to watch, like I like right
Speaker 1: around on his fucking motorcycle with this bear or this
Speaker 1: guy who's like in a golf cart. He's like, when
Speaker 1: I'm trying to be racist to Asian people that are
Speaker 1: on this golf course, I used the trumpy bear and
Speaker 1: the stars and bars flag to let them know I'm hostile.
Speaker 1: Do you not approach? Yeah? Alright, let's move on to
Speaker 1: Christmas movies. For the Great Christmas Presents. No does anything,
Speaker 1: stick out to your favorite favorite Christmas present before we leave,
Speaker 1: favorite Christmas president or when you want it. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: think I got like a Huffy remember Huffy's Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I got Huffy. I think it was like, you know,
Speaker 1: mega boy Huffy, Like it had like machine gun turrets
Speaker 1: mounted on it, or and it just has like a
Speaker 1: picture of a young boy but he's built like the
Speaker 1: Master Blaster dude from Total Miles was commercial now and
Speaker 1: I just think of like paint sniffers, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, Like it's just which was something the kids
Speaker 1: in my middle school we're into. So yeah, Full circ
Speaker 1: date in Ohio. Full Circle now where Gummos based might
Speaker 1: shitty Rabbit stinks like shit. So I want to talk
Speaker 1: about Christmas movies. So, first of all, this is something
Speaker 1: I bring up frequently. But if you look at the
Speaker 1: birthdays in the US, what we're living through right now,
Speaker 1: this time period is actually America's breeding season. This is
Speaker 1: when the most babies are conceived in the next couple
Speaker 1: of weeks, presumably because everyone's indoors. I think in America
Speaker 1: we have the artificial high of like buying gifts and
Speaker 1: just being so like market capitalism brained that just getting
Speaker 1: to buy or steal or you know, give things. Transactions
Speaker 1: get people high. It's also among the most acceptable times
Speaker 1: to be publicly drunk, which I think always helps with that.
Speaker 1: And then I don't know, it's like built in two
Speaker 1: our system and like into into our civilization that like
Speaker 1: there there's a giant, you know, week long festival around
Speaker 1: this time to honor the winter solstice and you know,
Speaker 1: laugh in the face of God for trying to kill
Speaker 1: us yet again with winter, and with the thing that
Speaker 1: we like to do when laughing in the face of
Speaker 1: God is fuck each other. So I was just like
Speaker 1: thinking about Christmas culture. By the way I started, I
Speaker 1: started my the first thing I wanted to do was
Speaker 1: answer the question why so many birds in the twelve
Speaker 1: Days of Christmas? And it's just there's no there's no
Speaker 1: real good answer. Well, you're like, before I get to horny,
Speaker 1: why the birds throwing me off? It seems that that
Speaker 1: song seems like it's written by like a bird themed
Speaker 1: batman villain. It's just all birds. I have a pretty
Speaker 1: significant bird phobia, you guys. Oh man, I'm sorry. I
Speaker 1: always have. I have traced it back to being a
Speaker 1: kid and my Grandpa's taken me to the beach and
Speaker 1: just throwing breadcrumbs everywhere, and seagulls dive bombing my little
Speaker 1: boy body and it's just a super traumatic I like,
Speaker 1: it's a sense memory, and like I don't like their
Speaker 1: twitchy movements. They're very unpredictable, you know, So this would
Speaker 1: be a nightmare gift for me. Yes, so many every
Speaker 1: fucking day. It makes such bad gifts. Also, that's the
Speaker 1: context of the song is but like seven days of
Speaker 1: just bird gifts, which like it's up through the milking,
Speaker 1: aren't like an actual some kind of bird reference up
Speaker 1: through seven. I think it's all birds except for the
Speaker 1: five Golden rings. The five golden rings is a reference
Speaker 1: to like a golden ringed bird. I just saw some
Speaker 1: tweet about that. Yes, really, yes, but the imagery is
Speaker 1: always like goldenh Okay, that's that's news. I don't think
Speaker 1: people I don't know it. But again, it's Twitter, and
Speaker 1: it's the last days of Twitter, so you know, people
Speaker 1: could saying anything and I'll believe it. There's a thing
Speaker 1: in the office or Andy Bernard was dating um Ellie
Speaker 1: Kemper's character and he did I r L the twelve
Speaker 1: Days of Christmas and it was just like she was
Speaker 1: just covered in scratches and from being bird attacked, you know.
Speaker 1: But anyways, back to the horny and it's of Christmas.
Speaker 1: So Christmas is our horny is Holiday? Valentine's Day be damned,
Speaker 1: you know, it is Christmas just naturally, even though no
Speaker 1: one says that we all like the birthdays, reveal year
Speaker 1: after year people are fucking around. Yeah, and the music
Speaker 1: reflects that. When you listen to the music, there are
Speaker 1: there is. It is shot through with sexuality, like the
Speaker 1: you know, the classic Christmas songs are very horny in
Speaker 1: a lot of cases. So I'm wondering, like it feels
Speaker 1: like holiday movies need to get hornyar I'm I'm identifying
Speaker 1: a gap here that And it's also I think the
Speaker 1: answer to the question that I know, like half of
Speaker 1: the population has half of the population loves the movie
Speaker 1: Love Actually, and the other of the population is like,
Speaker 1: why is this a thing? Why not cards? Yeah? Note cards?
Speaker 1: So my theory is that Love actually is addressing a need,
Speaker 1: like it's addressing a hole in the market, which obviously
Speaker 1: there are like holiday romcoms, but this is like the
Speaker 1: most mainstream one. And I think it's getting a lot
Speaker 1: of the attention and a lot of the love that
Speaker 1: could be taken up by other ones, just because it
Speaker 1: is inhabited by people who are thinking about and having sex.
Speaker 1: And and that's something that is missing from our holiday movies.
Speaker 1: Like most holiday movies are still just like a re
Speaker 1: skin of either a Christmas Carol or The Grinch or
Speaker 1: Miracle Onto Streets, Miracle on thirty four Street. And you
Speaker 1: know it's like all these asexual protagonists. I yeah, we
Speaker 1: need more sex in our Christmas movies, is what I'm
Speaker 1: is what I'm saying. So George Bailey should have been hornier.
Speaker 1: Like I get that. It's you know, a time when
Speaker 1: people are like, oh, they're watching movies with their kids,
Speaker 1: but like, love actually should not be Love actually should
Speaker 1: not be the only option for like after the kids
Speaker 1: go to bed, like a movie in which that is
Speaker 1: inhabited by a universe of characters who have had sex before.
Speaker 1: Like that, love actually should not be it. And I
Speaker 1: think that is where love actually's outsized impact is coming
Speaker 1: from in our culture. Let's also not forget the most
Speaker 1: overtly rapey Christmas song baby It's cold out, So Yes
Speaker 1: so songs the songs are the songs get it. The
Speaker 1: songs get it. The movies the songs get The songs
Speaker 1: are like I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus hang low,
Speaker 1: the missiletoe Hello. They don't say, but you get the point.
Speaker 1: The newest like all I Want for Christmas is You,
Speaker 1: with the accompanying image of Murrai in that Santa suit.
Speaker 1: I think is one of the most iconic, like cultural
Speaker 1: moments of our lifetime. Like that it became it's like
Speaker 1: the number one Christmas song now like that for so
Speaker 1: many years of my like when I was young, like
Speaker 1: all the Christmas songs were kind of set, and then
Speaker 1: that thing came through and she looks great, she looks
Speaker 1: you know, like I think the songs get it, though
Speaker 1: you can. You can do a lot just with like
Speaker 1: the voice and you know, just the vibes that the
Speaker 1: song is giving off. But it's funny, man, I haven't
Speaker 1: heard all that one for Christmas is you Want this Season? Yet?
Speaker 1: But I have heard ten different versions of Last Christmas
Speaker 1: by Wham, every version except the Wham version, which I love.
Speaker 1: But these like half asked knockoff covers are just embarrassing
Speaker 1: and like, why do you even need a cover of that.
Speaker 1: The original is fantastic. You know what, I'm curious, because
Speaker 1: you know you like music, are is there a song
Speaker 1: that There's so many songs people hate during Christmas, like
Speaker 1: the Wham thing, Like it's like, you know, it's like
Speaker 1: a trope on the internet of like trying to yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: I haven't heard it yet this December. So we heard
Speaker 1: it like in the lead up somebody like recommended as
Speaker 1: an a k and so I listened to it then,
Speaker 1: but someone was like, actually it doesn't start until December one.
Speaker 1: I haven't heard it since the game started, so I'm
Speaker 1: living clean. Okay, what's your what's your most controversial favorite
Speaker 1: Christmas song? It would would it be that one? Yeah? Probably?
Speaker 1: I love that song just a lot, Like I've covered
Speaker 1: it before myself, like with like a vocoder and like
Speaker 1: very like chromatics kind of like Italians do it better vibes.
Speaker 1: But I really love the song Father Christmas by The
Speaker 1: Kinks because it's just like a good kind of punky
Speaker 1: fun XTC vibe kind of like banger. I think that's
Speaker 1: an underrated song. I think Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney.
Speaker 1: I've looked with that. People think, really, it's so fucking wild. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's the part I was just talking with Justin
Speaker 1: before we got on and he was like, I think
Speaker 1: people don't funk would because the chord progression is very
Speaker 1: like simplistic. I'm like, that's why I love it. And
Speaker 1: then when those sins that delay gets out of control,
Speaker 1: disrespects your sense of hearing like an equilibrium, yes, and
Speaker 1: then do you really like it? Yeah? Okay, it's so
Speaker 1: So This is Christmas by John Lennon, which is just
Speaker 1: such a downer, mega depressing thing. It really highlights their
Speaker 1: you know, different sides of the beat. So you're lendin Jack.
Speaker 1: I like that song, probably better than the McCartney one two.
Speaker 1: It's in the Maytells by Byron Lee and the Dragonaires
Speaker 1: is my favorite Christmas excellent song. Oh wow, okay, I'm
Speaker 1: over here being like man Andy Williams do and Dick
Speaker 1: Gary Doc and don't forget da your sock like that ship,
Speaker 1: I'm up your sock you. Oh no, I kiss off
Speaker 1: piss off her majesty every time because I add my
Speaker 1: own lyrics to that. Yeah, yeah, because you know you
Speaker 1: and Andy ship faced again and on my handy handy andy,
Speaker 1: alright on my whoa. But I think those I think
Speaker 1: for it's interesting from I always talk about this, like
Speaker 1: from my experience of like being like not being a
Speaker 1: white American person and that only being the predominant messaging
Speaker 1: that was just shot at my face like through TV
Speaker 1: and media like as a child, that I have this
Speaker 1: very idealistic idea of it that sort of conforms to
Speaker 1: this like target commercial lexus December to remember type aesthetic
Speaker 1: that's completely like got me, like like that's the version
Speaker 1: of Christmas. I'm like, yeah, yeah, that that's Christmas. So
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know if that's a tragedy
Speaker 1: or not. To goddamn tragedy is what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: Christmas travesty. Thanks, Thanks, I just wanted to get that
Speaker 1: out there. So all right, and finally we have to
Speaker 1: get to j M's conspiracy theory. You know, we have
Speaker 1: one of the very conspiracy stuff purveyors with us, and
Speaker 1: I think this is a pretty good one. So what
Speaker 1: what would What were people's thoughts initially when the old
Speaker 1: man from Home Alone came out and saved the day,
Speaker 1: was that he was just like good, yeah, it's weird.
Speaker 1: I just gave him a pass because he has kids
Speaker 1: that he the and like, he's got a kind face.
Speaker 1: They nailed the casting to the point that he's like, hey,
Speaker 1: I just don't have good dental healthcare. My my my
Speaker 1: job doesn't have good dentals. But otherwise I'm a pretty
Speaker 1: good guy. And he's only he's only beaten on the
Speaker 1: bad guys. So I mean, yeah, right right. It's a
Speaker 1: starting violent movie, brutally violent, and it's only a kid
Speaker 1: perpetrating all these acts of violence. Which is why it's popular,
Speaker 1: is because it's you know, allowing us to enact our
Speaker 1: fantasies as children to you know, just take take adults out.
Speaker 1: I think, hell yeah, I mean, did you any if
Speaker 1: you ever try and emulate that? Remember my mom caught
Speaker 1: me paint cans. Oh man, I thought I was putting
Speaker 1: like thumb tax and ship on the ground. Well boy,
Speaker 1: rusty nail through a piece of wood. Yeah, And I
Speaker 1: didn't go that far. We only have thumb tacks. And
Speaker 1: I was like, what in the fund is this? I'm like, Kevin,
Speaker 1: did you guys see X that uh kind of seventies
Speaker 1: born slasher thing with no I didn't me at goth
Speaker 1: It's really good. But there is a literally pulled right
Speaker 1: out of Home Alone rusty nail through a board in
Speaker 1: that movie, and it's a close up, but they go
Speaker 1: further than Home Alone could go. So a recent study,
Speaker 1: first of all, is just interesting little nugget that they
Speaker 1: asked people around America favorite Christmas movie their number. The
Speaker 1: number one by kind of a lot is Nationally includence
Speaker 1: Christmas Vacation, which I mean hanging with the Grizz Walls
Speaker 1: Hanging with the grizz you know, makes us all love
Speaker 1: Chevy Chase by constantly placing him next to Randy Quaid.
Speaker 1: I've never seen it, hey, man, that's that's your assignment
Speaker 1: for the part where the lights go on are with
Speaker 1: Vegas Vacation of all the National Room? Is that real? Yes?
Speaker 1: And the cast is all different. But that used to
Speaker 1: be on Comedy Central, like on a loop in the
Speaker 1: late night. That's what I've seen. It is Randy Quaid,
Speaker 1: okay now? Or is he still way in the wind.
Speaker 1: He's whispering in the forest right now. My friends are
Speaker 1: whispering through the forest that the storm is coming and
Speaker 1: he is the storm. So the fifth most popular holiday
Speaker 1: classic is home alone and our writer Jam wanted to
Speaker 1: discuss the Old Man. So Old Man Marley is introduced
Speaker 1: by Buzz, who claims that he's the South Bends shovel slayer,
Speaker 1: a serial killer who beat a murder rap in because
Speaker 1: the cops could never find the bodies. He's out back
Speaker 1: using his snow shovel, So we're kind of led to
Speaker 1: believe this is probably just a thing you're older, Like
Speaker 1: cousin tells you to freak you out right, Yeah, that's like, hey,
Speaker 1: the guy's got a shovel. He actually kills people with
Speaker 1: a shovel. And then, like we later see, Kevin convinced
Speaker 1: him to reach out to as a strange son. Their
Speaker 1: families reunited for Christmas, but he like doesn't really do
Speaker 1: anything to prove his innocence to Kevin. He doesn't like
Speaker 1: tell tell us that, like, oh, I actually just moved
Speaker 1: here from Australia, where I lived for the entire nineteen
Speaker 1: seventies and eighties. You know. Yeah, so it's one question.
Speaker 1: Yeah when when that scene when they're looking at Old
Speaker 1: Man Marley, Yeah, is he just shoveling fucking aimlessly? He
Speaker 1: does appear to be shoveling snow in a backyard into
Speaker 1: a garbage camp. It's not how you do that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm even from I'm look, don't know, I
Speaker 1: don't know the first fucking thing about winter, but yeah
Speaker 1: that I always remember the walk. I'm like, yeah, I'm like,
Speaker 1: who's fucking property? Is that? What's he doing? Like is
Speaker 1: that a chore you do? Like just hey, man, go
Speaker 1: shovel that one area by the tree, that shoveling the
Speaker 1: forest floor, which seems like a fool's errand you know
Speaker 1: what I mean? So is that our first set up
Speaker 1: from the director to be like, yeo, this this motherfuckering
Speaker 1: something you're eyeing him here he's in the middle of
Speaker 1: the backyard. Yeah, in the middle of like a backyard
Speaker 1: that I don't think is his. Maybe it is, but
Speaker 1: like do they have backyards in Illinois or is it
Speaker 1: like oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Like people some
Speaker 1: places don't have fences and ship that always bugs me
Speaker 1: out when I go to that part of America, or
Speaker 1: it's like, wait, what the funk you don't have a fence.
Speaker 1: This is also a really fancy neighborhood, by the way,
Speaker 1: and to get all that money, there's all this talk
Speaker 1: about you know, the actor that plays Kevin's dad is
Speaker 1: also the crooked cop in the Sopranos Umn Tony's Payroll.
Speaker 1: So there's this theory that like it's actually a shared
Speaker 1: universe saying that he's uh, he is in fact working
Speaker 1: for the mob, because we never get a sense of
Speaker 1: what he does for a living to afford to take
Speaker 1: fifteen people to France. France. Yeah, Okay, I like that
Speaker 1: he's a sanitation, but like we do see him use
Speaker 1: his shovel as a weapon to brutally beat the burglars.
Speaker 1: It happens at the climax, it definitely doesn't seem like
Speaker 1: it's his first time using his shovel like that way,
Speaker 1: like to the point for he let's this motherfucker have it?
Speaker 1: Like the any TV eyes would they have suffered in
Speaker 1: the course of this film, Like if they were normal people,
Speaker 1: Harry and Marv, right, they would add a traumatic traumatic
Speaker 1: brain injury like from the first paint. Can I feel
Speaker 1: like you're done? But if the if in the movie
Speaker 1: they were like there's butcher, old man butcher Marvin. He
Speaker 1: used a butcher knife to kill his family and then
Speaker 1: at the end he like saves Kevin by like using
Speaker 1: a butcher knife on the people. He'd be like, oh,
Speaker 1: he really was the butcher knife guy. So like using
Speaker 1: masterfully using the snow shovel and there being a rumor
Speaker 1: that he was the snow shovel killer, but that that
Speaker 1: that positive that the snow shovel killer was real, and
Speaker 1: that Buzz wasn't just making it up in the first
Speaker 1: place just to to freak out his his his cousin.
Speaker 1: We have no evidence of this being a real crime
Speaker 1: and this being a real you know, Monica, I'm just
Speaker 1: putting that up. But so he he's just Buzz just
Speaker 1: happened to guess that this was somebody who like you,
Speaker 1: because it does seem like he's not just a guy
Speaker 1: who happens to be shoveling snow like at that moment,
Speaker 1: and Buzz makes it up because he's constantly he's like
Speaker 1: a again, like a snow shovel themed batman villain, like
Speaker 1: he always has his snow shovel with him and uses
Speaker 1: it as a weapon throughout and also seems to be
Speaker 1: like living in some sort of like tortured existence where
Speaker 1: he's just like doomed to shovel snow for ever, like
Speaker 1: almost like he was punished, being punished or putting himself
Speaker 1: through a punishment, paying his penance to tragedy. I wish
Speaker 1: snow shovel the links to this earth to pay my penance. Anyways,
Speaker 1: and then and then, so here's the other thing. So
Speaker 1: he saves this kid from two bandits who have been
Speaker 1: like burglarizing homes throughout the neighborhood, neighborhood that this old
Speaker 1: man lives. And for some reason, even though it's not
Speaker 1: it's not clear, he doesn't like give off like wealthy
Speaker 1: old you know, like retired guy vibes. He gives off
Speaker 1: like vibes of haunted ex serial killer. But he saves him.
Speaker 1: But then he takes the bodies of Marv and he
Speaker 1: takes the bodies of the criminals and just leaves them
Speaker 1: in a home and calls the police and like runs.
Speaker 1: So it's a batman move. It's also the move of
Speaker 1: somebody who doesn't want to attract the attention of the police,
Speaker 1: especially you saying a weapon that he was like known
Speaker 1: for killing somebody with. I think he's a hero. I
Speaker 1: think he's a hero too, And I don't and I
Speaker 1: don't care if he wants to avoid police Okay, I understand. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm with him on that. I'm just saying, maybe this
Speaker 1: is a much cooler, deeper story where this man who
Speaker 1: committed a bunch of murders with a snow shovel was
Speaker 1: like head has been just paying his penance by aimlessly
Speaker 1: shoveling snow, like just everywhere snow has fallen. Just I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: this is this is my hell until I can die.
Speaker 1: And then he gets his penance by using the same
Speaker 1: weapon that he used to kill his family to have
Speaker 1: a child. We have to first presume that he did
Speaker 1: kill the family. I think, to Nola's point, we haven't
Speaker 1: seen any anything that corroborates buzzes accusation that this man
Speaker 1: was involved in any kind of murder. You know that
Speaker 1: could be You're say, you so when maybe what if
Speaker 1: this guy is a misunderstood hero in the community and
Speaker 1: they just intimidated by him because he doesn't look as
Speaker 1: wealthy as other people in Winnetka, Illinois. Is there any
Speaker 1: other mention of the South Bend shovel Slayer as being
Speaker 1: a thing in the lore of this world or do
Speaker 1: we just hear it from buzz that one time. I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure we just hear it from Buzz that one time.
Speaker 1: It just sounds like a thing you'd make up, you know,
Speaker 1: if you were gonna have a creepy sounding you know,
Speaker 1: you know, plausible serious. That's very true. That's very true.
Speaker 1: So somebody, somebody might have made it up to him.
Speaker 1: But again, I don't know, like those those rumors. Like
Speaker 1: we always had this dude who lived up the street
Speaker 1: from us that our bus stop was in front of,
Speaker 1: and we were like, man, that guy's like kind of
Speaker 1: scary and like he was always like moving like these
Speaker 1: big metal vets like in and out of his garage,
Speaker 1: and we we had all these theories and like he
Speaker 1: was a nom vet, like there was you know, wait,
Speaker 1: and like sometimes he would come out of his house
Speaker 1: and just start shouting at us, even though our bus
Speaker 1: stop was there, like every day he was like get
Speaker 1: off my wine. We're like we're I swear to God
Speaker 1: we're here every single day and we're not. And then
Speaker 1: like you know, we all had our theories. And then
Speaker 1: like years later he started like sniping people's pets, like
Speaker 1: in the neighborhood. Yeah, started like shooting people's dogs from
Speaker 1: the So there was I'm just saying, I'm just saying
Speaker 1: like sometimes like twelve years like sensitive to that. That's
Speaker 1: so wild. There was a guy in my neighborhood. His
Speaker 1: license plate was Mr Wine on his buick and you
Speaker 1: always almost hit me and my friends on his bike.
Speaker 1: We were on our bikes and he would always drive
Speaker 1: like fucking recklessly around us, and we're like, yo, this
Speaker 1: guy is a fucking like something's wrong, like he's trying
Speaker 1: to hurt us. Turns out he was just a drunk.
Speaker 1: He loved wine. Wine yeah like her. Yeah, We're like,
Speaker 1: oh no, he he looks with wine. And then we
Speaker 1: found out like he was kind of going through it
Speaker 1: because like his wife had passed away like like three
Speaker 1: years prior. And then like but then all those human
Speaker 1: details only came out to me and like adulthood from
Speaker 1: people in the neighborhood, and I was like, damn. I
Speaker 1: just thought he was like isn't that a bit of
Speaker 1: a red flag for cops? That plate? I mean, it
Speaker 1: seems like Mr Wasted. Mr Wine is like plausible reasonable,
Speaker 1: But you know what, sometimes you just want to be caught.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you want to be put out of your misery.
Speaker 1: And let's also say if you killed your family with
Speaker 1: snow shovels got away with it, but then like we're
Speaker 1: just constantly aimlessly shoveling in the back of people's yards,
Speaker 1: like not even doing any like not even shoveling their walkway,
Speaker 1: just randomly shoveling, and then being like what are you
Speaker 1: looking at all? This talk of like him having some
Speaker 1: sort of like penance that he's he's you know, having
Speaker 1: to complete it really makes me feel like they kind
Speaker 1: of miss an opportunity to have there be a supernatural
Speaker 1: element like he's actually like a ghost of this guy
Speaker 1: who aimlessly wanders the forest shoveling forever. You know, like
Speaker 1: that would have been cool if then they could have
Speaker 1: done it for the pigeon lady. And in part two too,
Speaker 1: that could have been like this ghost of Christmas whatever
Speaker 1: kind of situation yea, Or is it like why are
Speaker 1: these people always like borderline like unhoused? Yeah, you know
Speaker 1: that that'd be like saving is there? Like because I
Speaker 1: think always the sort of the weird kid messages like
Speaker 1: just because they're all like unkempt and stuff doesn't mean
Speaker 1: they're nasty. In fact, they might be the homie and
Speaker 1: like like help you out. But there isn't much other
Speaker 1: humanization offered to them aside from that, and they came through.
Speaker 1: It's in like tuns, it's all over the place. That's like,
Speaker 1: you know, don't judge a book by its cover, or
Speaker 1: a kind of situation where there's the creepy person and
Speaker 1: then you grow to realize they're just like me and
Speaker 1: you and they're actually lovely people with stories about their
Speaker 1: grandkids exactly, or sniping fucking domestic animals. Sometimes that happens
Speaker 1: to Yeah, alright, well, no, it's been a pleasure having you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: where can people find you? Follow you all that good stuff? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I do a podcast with Ben Bowling and Matt Frederick
Speaker 1: called Stuff they Don't Want You to Know. You can
Speaker 1: check that out and Stuff they Don't Want You to
Speaker 1: Know wherever you get podcasts and follow us on at
Speaker 1: Conspiracy Stuff Show on Instagram. Um, you can follow me
Speaker 1: personally at how Now Noel Brown on Instagram, and you
Speaker 1: can buy the Stuff they Don't Want You to Know?
Speaker 1: A book, Like you said, it's not too late. It's
Speaker 1: a really cool kind of coffee table book with really
Speaker 1: great illustrations from our buddy Nick Benson. It really feels
Speaker 1: kind of like a graphic novel it's a nice hard back.
Speaker 1: I men get that wherever books are sold. And I
Speaker 1: also do a podcast with Ben Bowling called Ridiculous History
Speaker 1: that you can find anywhere podcasts exist. There you go, Miles,
Speaker 1: working people. Oh sorry, and Noel's there a tweet or
Speaker 1: some of the work of social media you've been enjoying. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I found I just recently found out what a NEPO
Speaker 1: baby was, so I've been kind of fascinating with this concept.
Speaker 1: And Gloria Alatapo from The Guardian Um posted, if I
Speaker 1: was a NEPO baby, people would literally never see your
Speaker 1: hear from me. I would spend my parents money in
Speaker 1: absolute silence and peace, and that seems like the pro
Speaker 1: move there. Yeah, a lot of the ones I know,
Speaker 1: they're like, I want nothing to do with work. Yeah, wow,
Speaker 1: it must be cool. Good for you. Yeah. The thing
Speaker 1: I learned from my parents is UH works. They were
Speaker 1: very unhappy. Yeah, Miles, you've been enjoying well. First off,
Speaker 1: thank you to everybody uh for rocking with us this year.
Speaker 1: He signed off from you know, our last like main
Speaker 1: recorded episode and obviously we'll be having some evergreen stuff.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I hope everybody has a fantastic evergreen stuff.
Speaker 1: We've recorded almost all of it already and it's a
Speaker 1: lot of fun. Super producer Anna Hosnier, superproducer Becca Ramos. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we all all the homies are there, so check that out.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I just want to say thank you to
Speaker 1: everybody and looking forward to next year and I hope
Speaker 1: you have a RESTful break and you're able to spend
Speaker 1: time with those that you give a funk about, because
Speaker 1: that's what it's about. Uh, some tweets that I like, Man,
Speaker 1: there's there's there was a lot of nepple baby discourse.
Speaker 1: But Dr Anna Hughes at an uh G A and
Speaker 1: a G hues on Twitter tweeted learning that quote five
Speaker 1: golden rings is not in fact, is not in fact
Speaker 1: referring to five literal golden rings, but to five ring
Speaker 1: necked pheasants a k A more birds. Uh that ship
Speaker 1: really had Yeah, then Jamie loftus had Jamie Loft his
Speaker 1: help tweet it also get ready for Santa University. This
Speaker 1: one is a fucking banger. Jack, I mean Jack Jack
Speaker 1: is improvising some a fucking whole Like, yeah, it's it's
Speaker 1: pretty wild. But at Jamie Loft has helped, tweeted, man,
Speaker 1: I just had a cab driver who spent the first
Speaker 1: half of the ride describing all the times he's gotten
Speaker 1: blackout drunk before getting on a plane, and the second
Speaker 1: half about how his greatest wish is to see an
Speaker 1: eagle in the wild. People are so cool. I love
Speaker 1: talking them, talking to them so much. We finished the
Speaker 1: ride with him recapping Grizzly Man and I said, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's Grizzly Man and he said, nope, it's not perfect.
Speaker 1: That's my favorite Christmas movie. By the way, Grizzly Man,
Speaker 1: that's a good one. Cocaine bears about to add to
Speaker 1: the that. That's what I meant, not more horny nous,
Speaker 1: more bears in our Christmas movies. That's what we actually want,
Speaker 1: because that's what we're doing. We're hibernating like bears, and
Speaker 1: also we're hiding from bears, and so we just need
Speaker 1: more bears in our Christmas movies, more trumpy bears. You
Speaker 1: can find me on Twitter at Jack Underscore O'Brian, Let's
Speaker 1: see Kirk Cousins of the NFL Kirk Cousins of the NFL.
Speaker 1: Cousins is asked the question can someone explained to me
Speaker 1: the difference between these three brands, l L Being, lands
Speaker 1: End and Eddie Bauer and I it was at that
Speaker 1: moment that I realized those were three separate brands. They
Speaker 1: had all occupied the same brand in my brain prior
Speaker 1: to that tweet at least LLL Being and Land's End did.
Speaker 1: So is it ll be the one that you could
Speaker 1: do unlimited returns? I don't know. They had to. They
Speaker 1: had to start, like because their their products are like
Speaker 1: guaranteed for life, so if they start wearing down, like
Speaker 1: you can go and like they exchange it, right, No, no, no,
Speaker 1: And I think it was like where I think there's
Speaker 1: like a this American life story too. Or then eventually
Speaker 1: they had to like pull back the policy because people
Speaker 1: were just you know, taking advantage of it. Anyway, great
Speaker 1: job on Twitter this year, folks keep coming back. I
Speaker 1: don't know why you wouldn't Twitter the best place to
Speaker 1: hang out? And yeah, thanks for thanks for listening to us.
Speaker 1: You can find us on Twitter at daily Zeitgeist, where
Speaker 1: at the Daily Zeitgeist on Instagram, we have Facebook fan
Speaker 1: page and website Daily zeitgeist dot com where we post
Speaker 1: our episodes and our foot No where we link off
Speaker 1: to the information that we talked about in today's episode. Well,
Speaker 1: it's a song that we think you might enjoy. Hey, Miles,
Speaker 1: what song do you think people might enjoy? Oh? Well,
Speaker 1: Terry Hall of the Specials passed away recently, and it's
Speaker 1: some boy who was a big Sca fan, somebody who's
Speaker 1: you know. Scott was like one of the only context
Speaker 1: where we playing trumpet was cool in the nineties. So
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I'm sucking with it. I wanted
Speaker 1: to go out on one of my favorite songs from
Speaker 1: the Specials, which is a Message to You, Rudy, but
Speaker 1: not the album version. They did a live version on
Speaker 1: the old Gray whistle Test, uh from nine. So this
Speaker 1: is the Specials A Message to you a Rudy, the
Speaker 1: Old Gray whistle Test version. All right, Well, The Daily
Speaker 1: Zey Guys is a production of I Heeart Radio from
Speaker 1: more podcasts from my Heart Radio is the heart radio
Speaker 1: app Apple podcast for wherever you uh find podcast Over
Speaker 1: the finish line, that's gonna do it for us this morning.
Speaker 1: Are we doing a trending Nah, We're not doing trending. Nah.
Speaker 1: This is it. This is it. We out lots of
Speaker 1: fun evergreen content over the holiday, I have a RESTful,
Speaker 1: peaceful holiday. I lie