Speaker 1: Welcome the Guys We Fund, the anti slut shaming pots.
Speaker 1: I'm Christina Think, I'm Curran Fisher and I'm fas friends.
Speaker 1: Bring up to it's slotting of your horny and your shame?
Speaker 1: He was, Yes, Okay, talk about what up? Fucker's how
Speaker 1: you been, where you are, what you wear? And Welcome
Speaker 1: to the last episode of two of Guys We Fuck.
Speaker 1: It's the anti slush shaming podcast. I'm Karin Fisher, I'm
Speaker 1: Christina Hutchinson. Welcome to the show. Whoo baby, we did
Speaker 1: it two Huh. What a year. I don't know that
Speaker 1: I liked it. No, I didn't really like it, but
Speaker 1: I learned a lot about myself, which is always painful
Speaker 1: and trying. Um. Yeah, see that's interesting. You feel like
Speaker 1: learning stuff about yourself is painful? Yes, very much so,
Speaker 1: because I hide a lot of things from myself that
Speaker 1: I don't understand that I'm doing, and then I'm like,
Speaker 1: funk I do that. Funk I've been doing that the
Speaker 1: whole time. Fuck. I feel like learning like the truths
Speaker 1: of human existence is the painful part for me, you know,
Speaker 1: because I just think things were going to be a
Speaker 1: lot better than they are realistically, right, right right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I kind of write of that. I'm like, but you
Speaker 1: still believe in love and ship? That's like it's like
Speaker 1: to me the love, I'm like, you mean astrology? Do
Speaker 1: you not believe in love? No, of course I believe
Speaker 1: in love, but like you know, and I think part
Speaker 1: of it is from doing this show, and like you know,
Speaker 1: it's you know, as I would explain this show to people,
Speaker 1: it's like learning how the sausage is made, and like
Speaker 1: there's a reason I don't eat sausage anymore, right, because
Speaker 1: you know what goes into it, and it's not good.
Speaker 1: It's nasty. Yeah, it's nasty. And so like, do I
Speaker 1: believe in love, familial love and friendship? Love? Sure, very much,
Speaker 1: love between animals and humans in a not weird way. Um,
Speaker 1: but you know the romantic love that we have been
Speaker 1: so through media, that's certainly not. Yeah, well that's a
Speaker 1: bunch of bullshit. That the type of love that's been
Speaker 1: delivered to us by pop culture is all bullshit. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so it's just weird too. I don't want to say
Speaker 1: be on a search for something, because that was on
Speaker 1: a search, but to you know, expect something. It's like
Speaker 1: for me, love is like tits, Like I just thought
Speaker 1: everyone got them right, and then where's and then you
Speaker 1: just don't come in, you know, it's like maybe you
Speaker 1: get it's just like where the hell are these tits?
Speaker 1: It's like it's like I got the air conditioner, but
Speaker 1: the remote control didn't come with it, and the air
Speaker 1: conditioner sixteen feet in my lofted one bedroom window, and
Speaker 1: so it's making my life a lot more difficult than
Speaker 1: it needs to be, right right, right, right, right, right right,
Speaker 1: That's how I feel about it. Yeah, just you know,
Speaker 1: I just didn't know that there was going to have
Speaker 1: to be so many concessions made for something that was
Speaker 1: supposed to be like the most pleasurable thing, um, you know,
Speaker 1: in human existence. Right. Well, you made a very astute
Speaker 1: observation that I that I've thought about a lot after
Speaker 1: you said it. Whereas like you received this familial love
Speaker 1: that was just very genuine and pure and beautiful and
Speaker 1: like you know what a child should get, right like
Speaker 1: for nurturing, and because of that, you don't have a
Speaker 1: hole in your heart. It's like the hole in your
Speaker 1: heart was made later stuff. It's by other people who
Speaker 1: were walking around with holes in their hearts, right, yeah. So,
Speaker 1: I mean that's like my joke about I had a
Speaker 1: nice childhood. Um, so romantic love means nothing to me?
Speaker 1: And is it a joke, yes, but it's yeah true
Speaker 1: and like it does not that it means nothing to me.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know quite possibly, no one handles breakups
Speaker 1: worse than me, um like cause actual physical pain, visible
Speaker 1: damage to my own teeth, um dentists noticed. I don't grind,
Speaker 1: I clench, but yeah, I mean, like know, doctors can doctor.
Speaker 1: You know, if a doctor, you're not if you're going
Speaker 1: in and it's not your therapist, it's you're like some
Speaker 1: kind of a physician doctor. It's being like something is
Speaker 1: what is going on with you? And then they can
Speaker 1: see it. That's not that's a sign that you're probably
Speaker 1: not processing it. Well well, I mean but it's not
Speaker 1: like I'm overprocessing it if anything. Okay, because I was
Speaker 1: gonna ask you, why do you think that? Is it? Like?
Speaker 1: Is it o c D related? Cause I know c
Speaker 1: D can kind of have you emotionally hooked on stuff
Speaker 1: like hyper focus, which sounds awful a little bit is
Speaker 1: the ruminating, but this is like beyond beyond Yeah, I
Speaker 1: just don't really know. Well, you the way you take disappointment.
Speaker 1: You don't obviously that's your one of your least favorite feelings,
Speaker 1: like number one, that mishandled feeling right right right, right right?
Speaker 1: I don't really know the answer. Yeah, well, well you
Speaker 1: know it's a continuous quest. Yeah, of course, that's such
Speaker 1: as life. Man, you just unravel yourself or your untangle yourself.
Speaker 1: What are your what are your resolutions for three? Me? See,
Speaker 1: like I wrote some stuff down. This was that, you
Speaker 1: know what a weekend I did have? So? Um was
Speaker 1: it great and filled with love? Uh? It was a
Speaker 1: great weekend. I wouldn't say it was filled with love
Speaker 1: filled with friendship. I mean, you know, I think it
Speaker 1: was kind of the perfect culmination for the wreckage that
Speaker 1: was this year. You know, I just went to a
Speaker 1: strip club and dropped a grand and then Dick Energy
Speaker 1: girl got so you know, recognized from the podcast by
Speaker 1: one of the strippers. Oh my god, it's so good.
Speaker 1: Did I love strippers like the coolest? And um, you know,
Speaker 1: got bottles service? Uh and your friends, that's the best.
Speaker 1: I had never gotten bottles. I've gotten bottle service before.
Speaker 1: I don't think I had ever done it at a
Speaker 1: strip club before. Highly recommend. I mean, the treatment that
Speaker 1: you got is incredible. Why do you think James Harden
Speaker 1: does it every day? Oh that's a little much though. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I don't. I don't have that kind of
Speaker 1: need to do it every day. But I just kind
Speaker 1: of resolved again, like thematically, with how I was feeling
Speaker 1: this year. I'm just not buying anyone Christmas presents and
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna I bought myself some ship and then
Speaker 1: I was going to drop all this Christmas money on
Speaker 1: doing what the funk I want to do? Um And
Speaker 1: so yeah, I mean, so here, I have like a
Speaker 1: dissertation you know about this year. I said, I wrote,
Speaker 1: I let myself UM be an asshole this year. That
Speaker 1: was my goal. God, An, you weren't even that much
Speaker 1: of um. And like I had never just been a
Speaker 1: complete asshole before UM, And I was like, I need
Speaker 1: Most people I know are kind of consistently asshole. So
Speaker 1: I was like, let me try this out and see
Speaker 1: how this feels. UM. And I didn't like it. I
Speaker 1: didn't like the way I felt, but I needed to
Speaker 1: do it because I needed to put myself first across
Speaker 1: the board and not look back, especially after you know,
Speaker 1: years of like taking care of my family and just
Speaker 1: a lot of you know, and other people in relationships, etcetera, etcetera. UM.
Speaker 1: And yeah, rather then this this weekend was kind of
Speaker 1: the culmination of that, UM, because I was listening to
Speaker 1: a podcast. So I went out on Friday to the
Speaker 1: strip club. UM, and I went UM. Before I went out,
Speaker 1: and this was like a planned thing, a couple of
Speaker 1: people got added, so I got really out of hand,
Speaker 1: UM because they were like people who probably should be
Speaker 1: in prison. UM. Yeah, that's the kind of people people
Speaker 1: that you want to go to a strip club with.
Speaker 1: So I was listening to a podcast about existential crises, UM,
Speaker 1: and the woman it was actually Melissa from Melissa and
Speaker 1: Doug the toy company. So she started that she left
Speaker 1: the corporate world, as is a very common story, having
Speaker 1: an existential crisis, wanted to give something back to the
Speaker 1: world that had more value, so she created with her partner,
Speaker 1: Doug Um Melissa and Doug and Made Boys. But when
Speaker 1: she's still kind of like was going through this existential crisis.
Speaker 1: So she now has like a website called I think
Speaker 1: it's called Lifelines, and she helps other people through it.
Speaker 1: But it was like a four year process, which was
Speaker 1: not happy to hear um. And she kind of explained, like,
Speaker 1: you either do a ton of when you're going through
Speaker 1: an existential crisis, and she also has existential depression, um,
Speaker 1: but she was born with that. And it's either like
Speaker 1: you do a ton of work for years, which I've
Speaker 1: already been doing, or you just numb the feeling out.
Speaker 1: And I mean, obviously I am not the inventor of
Speaker 1: numbing the feeling out. Everyone I know, especially like you know,
Speaker 1: being a comedian, it's constantly doing that. I am pretty
Speaker 1: adamantly against numbing it out. Um. But I think it's
Speaker 1: just a slippery slope. And also I think ultimately it
Speaker 1: makes things take longer than they need to because you're
Speaker 1: just deally dallying the healing process. But you know, after
Speaker 1: an entire year of just feeling my feelings and all
Speaker 1: doing going to therapy and reading books and Buddhism and
Speaker 1: fucking walking around the town going on health, you go,
Speaker 1: I mean, you you go. Can I just fucking not
Speaker 1: think about this ship for one second? And so that
Speaker 1: was what was in my head, not that I like
Speaker 1: went out with a quest to get like rip roaring
Speaker 1: three day hangover drunk, but like I think that was
Speaker 1: like in the back of my head. And I remember
Speaker 1: this like one point where I was just sitting at
Speaker 1: you know, in our private booth at the strip club,
Speaker 1: and I was having so much fun. I really truly
Speaker 1: like love it, and I love the people that I
Speaker 1: was with, and you know, you know, confetti's in the air,
Speaker 1: and titties are out, and our bottle we have, you know,
Speaker 1: a five fifty dollar bottle of kettle one even though
Speaker 1: it costs you know, forty dollars and if you go
Speaker 1: to the grocery store and just and just nonsense. And
Speaker 1: I and I had a realization now for the first
Speaker 1: time in like forever, I was like having a good
Speaker 1: time line and I'm gonna cry about my strip club
Speaker 1: story this. I hate this show. Um, and I just
Speaker 1: hate everything. Um. And then I uh uh and then
Speaker 1: and and it was like nice because like I don't
Speaker 1: know if you've ever been like thinking about something for
Speaker 1: so long that you like, like something that you like,
Speaker 1: it is like just like ruin your in your life
Speaker 1: for so long that you think about it, and like
Speaker 1: there's a moment when you're like you realize that for
Speaker 1: a couple of hours you weren't thinking about it, and
Speaker 1: you're like, oh my god. I mean, like then you
Speaker 1: ruin your own time by thinking about it again. But
Speaker 1: I was just like, oh my god, like I haven't
Speaker 1: thought about this thing and so long that I was
Speaker 1: like having a good time. And then of course you
Speaker 1: just keep, you know, keep drinking, which you know that
Speaker 1: that's why I mean, I don't do it. Not that
Speaker 1: I like, I don't think I have the capacity to
Speaker 1: be be kind of like the kind of alcoholic I
Speaker 1: would aspire to be, which would be a great one. Um,
Speaker 1: you know, like I would love to be like an
Speaker 1: earnest Hemming way. I'm actually so jealous of like alcoholic writers.
Speaker 1: Like I remember I had a shot lass set of
Speaker 1: like famous writers and I was like, god, I wish
Speaker 1: I could get fucking black out drunk and write write
Speaker 1: a masterpiece. Like I know, it's like I know, it's
Speaker 1: like the downfall of these people's existence and like I'm
Speaker 1: sure tore apart all their interpersonal relationships. But god damn
Speaker 1: did it sound productive. Um I can't write anything. I
Speaker 1: mean I write a text message when I'm drunk, and
Speaker 1: I have many times. Um but uh yeah, and so yeah,
Speaker 1: so I was just like I I felt. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: was like I was just like free kind of to
Speaker 1: like living, you know, live in the moment and then
Speaker 1: of course you forget the moment because you get black
Speaker 1: out drunk. Um. But I just was like in that morning,
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm just gonna blow a grand at
Speaker 1: the strip club and like that's the point of these places,
Speaker 1: Like that's what it's for, um, Because I mean I
Speaker 1: spent half my year. Half my year was just like
Speaker 1: me going back to sleep, like hoping another day would pass.
Speaker 1: Like this year, like I actually can't believe it's over.
Speaker 1: But like when I think of like the day to
Speaker 1: day this, I mean it's like even to get through,
Speaker 1: like every weekend is like it's the excruciatingly long Like
Speaker 1: I mean, I've just like gone back to sleep so
Speaker 1: many times this year where I was like, well, this
Speaker 1: day never fucking end. It was just fucking terrible. Um.
Speaker 1: And uh yeah, and I and I and I did.
Speaker 1: I did the bare minimum this year. I mean the
Speaker 1: like the bare minimum, man, your bare minimum is there's
Speaker 1: a lot so yeah, And by mere minimum, I mean
Speaker 1: all the places that I that people expect me to
Speaker 1: show up and that other people are depending on me,
Speaker 1: my store, the podcast. Um, I showed up in every
Speaker 1: part where I needed to. I don't I don't even know.
Speaker 1: I'm crying right now. I'm just tired. I haven't slept
Speaker 1: in days because of the fucking renovation. I don't do it,
Speaker 1: but um, yeah, and I and I never do the
Speaker 1: bare minimum. I always do the fucking maximum, and I'm
Speaker 1: so tired of it. Um. And it felt gross. Doing
Speaker 1: the bare minimum felt gross. It felt gross, like I
Speaker 1: knew it would feel. It was disgusting. Um, But I
Speaker 1: like I needed to see what my options were, you know.
Speaker 1: So it's like, if you're always overworking, obviously there's a
Speaker 1: middle ground here, which you know is what you're hoping
Speaker 1: to find. But I was like, what would happen if
Speaker 1: I did the bare minimum? Um? Because I see a
Speaker 1: lot of people doing the bare minimum all the time,
Speaker 1: and they seem to be getting through life kind of
Speaker 1: just fine, all of gen z, you know. So I
Speaker 1: was like, there has to be something to the bare
Speaker 1: minimum the whole time. They don't understand that it's a
Speaker 1: bare minimum and know what it's like to do more
Speaker 1: than that. So I go, okay, And it didn't feel good,
Speaker 1: but it's just like, okay, but I kind of like
Speaker 1: but then then it's like if I wanted to do something,
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't even know what there is
Speaker 1: to do, Like I just motivation to do anything, because
Speaker 1: nothing felt like worthwhile or appealing, you know, Like I
Speaker 1: was like I did all my stand up shows. I
Speaker 1: would say I enjoyed like ten per cent of them.
Speaker 1: And you know that for many years was what was
Speaker 1: getting me out of bed in the morning, was like
Speaker 1: how much I loved to stand up And so to
Speaker 1: lose that love this year for that was like very scary.
Speaker 1: I mean, that was like a breakup or like a
Speaker 1: death in and of itself. Why do you think you
Speaker 1: lost that love for it? And and also that too
Speaker 1: could be very temporary, that that's not that could be fleeting,
Speaker 1: you know, it could be, but you can absolutely fall
Speaker 1: back in love with it. Sure, um, And it's a
Speaker 1: more serious relationship than any other relationship I've had, you know, romantically,
Speaker 1: and I certainly put stand up ahead of anything else,
Speaker 1: and I don't regret that, um, And I argue that
Speaker 1: it's still like, besides rock start, the fucking coolest job
Speaker 1: that you can have on the planet. And I all that,
Speaker 1: But there's I don't know when you say you were
Speaker 1: at the strip club and you didn't think about it
Speaker 1: for a couple of hours, what was what was it
Speaker 1: something I'm purposely not saying. Oh, oh I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: it's okay, sorry, it's all right. Um, and uh yeah,
Speaker 1: and so I just like so it's just like, okay,
Speaker 1: you need to you know, and throughout all this, please
Speaker 1: keep in mind I still like me, which is fascinating. Um,
Speaker 1: not fascinating that I guess like me. It's just like
Speaker 1: it's just so interesting because like that's usually the thing
Speaker 1: that like people kind of like get like tired of themselves.
Speaker 1: Like I wasn't like I wasn't even really frustrated with myself. Well,
Speaker 1: you allowed yourself to experience a new type of way
Speaker 1: of living just to see. But you you kind of
Speaker 1: you have such a great understanding of yourself where you're like,
Speaker 1: we're gonna do this. You have like a good inner manager.
Speaker 1: Well yeah, and it was also like, I mean, if
Speaker 1: you fucking over or achieved for thirty six years I
Speaker 1: think you're thirties seven, you can And also too, I
Speaker 1: mean you've got to keep in mind that you're phoning
Speaker 1: it in is most people's hardest work ever. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean that's really and that says a lot to like
Speaker 1: how exhausted you've been and how far you push yourself.
Speaker 1: I don't think either of us feel like on the show,
Speaker 1: not even in the slightest feel that way. I mean, like,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't want to get depressed. I
Speaker 1: turned into a baby and I fucking phone the fucking
Speaker 1: and I don't check my emails and I don't get
Speaker 1: back to people, and I like, you don't you're not
Speaker 1: capable of getting to that. No, I didn't phone it
Speaker 1: on on this show. I'm just saying, like, you know,
Speaker 1: but also like this is where my main income is
Speaker 1: coming from. So I'm like not stupid enough to like
Speaker 1: really phone it in, you know. And I feel like
Speaker 1: I do feel like you know, on air, I've given
Speaker 1: some of my greatest performances this year. But you know what, people,
Speaker 1: you know this is you know what five hours of
Speaker 1: my week? How many hours are in a week? You know?
Speaker 1: I also didn't. I didn't phone it in on Without
Speaker 1: a Country in any way. In fact, I had to
Speaker 1: work harder on that show because now it's just me
Speaker 1: working on that show. So no, but those are only
Speaker 1: that's two days of a seven day week, you know,
Speaker 1: and then I'm handling the store. But it's just like
Speaker 1: I have been working so much for the past fifteen
Speaker 1: plus years in this business that like, you know, and
Speaker 1: during COVID, I started saying no to a lot of things.
Speaker 1: But then I go, well, what what's what am I
Speaker 1: doing with all this extra time? Like there will be
Speaker 1: hours when I would be at home and going like
Speaker 1: what do people do with their time? Watch's right and
Speaker 1: they scroll streaming. I just have no idea how people
Speaker 1: could pass And I go, I guess a lot of
Speaker 1: people most people have like kids and are married. So
Speaker 1: that's just like but it's like, are you doing that
Speaker 1: because it's just like takes up hours and honestly, maybe
Speaker 1: I think so yeah, and it gives you purpose to
Speaker 1: Like a lot of people have kids, Like raising kids
Speaker 1: a huge accomplishment. So it's raising a kid well as
Speaker 1: a com yeah, yeah, kid is not an accomplishment at all.
Speaker 1: It's a mistake dealing with But yeah, I was just
Speaker 1: like sitting at home going the fuck And I mean
Speaker 1: and I then I started to do like charity work,
Speaker 1: so I just started doing a lot of like dog
Speaker 1: rescue stuff with Justin Silver and like you know, taking
Speaker 1: my dog on adventures and stuff. And I go, still,
Speaker 1: there are so many hours in the second you anxiety
Speaker 1: that that like you're not doing things with those hours.
Speaker 1: What do you what? But like sitting So my life
Speaker 1: is sitting on the couch. It's so meaningless. Well and
Speaker 1: I actually do so like when I I don't really
Speaker 1: watch TV that often except when my boyfriend's over. We'll
Speaker 1: like we'll watch movies and stuff. But like I play piano,
Speaker 1: like I I have like hobbies that I like lose myself. Literally,
Speaker 1: I know, I find I'm like I just hanging out
Speaker 1: with friends. My hobbies are are also like my that
Speaker 1: this is the problem for me. My hobbies are what
Speaker 1: Also my career is so my main hobby would be righting,
Speaker 1: you know, for my whole life. But it's like when
Speaker 1: then when you get when you monetize the hobby and listen.
Speaker 1: I did a lot of fucking writing that will never
Speaker 1: see the light of day this year, just for my
Speaker 1: own mental health. And I mean, god, I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: to tell one of you to burn it for you.
Speaker 1: But but I mean, yeah, I just don't, you know,
Speaker 1: And I read more. I watched a lot more TV
Speaker 1: than I ever watched, and I had a good time
Speaker 1: doing that. But it's just like, did you have hours
Speaker 1: where you're like, well, now what do I do? Like,
Speaker 1: do do you have a lot of that this year?
Speaker 1: Like just a lot? I mean I would just be
Speaker 1: like sitting staring out into the my living room being like,
Speaker 1: what do people do with their lives? And you're you're
Speaker 1: somebody who's done so much with your life current still
Speaker 1: like right now, you're doing more with your life then
Speaker 1: most people will do in their life. Literally, it's so
Speaker 1: like I think the thing that you're regular people work
Speaker 1: a regular job, so tired, No I know, but yeah,
Speaker 1: the first thing is right, they come home, they're tired.
Speaker 1: They commuted, Like there are plenty of people that live
Speaker 1: in the city and do this stuff whatever. But like
Speaker 1: I can tell you that like my parents before pre COVID,
Speaker 1: when we were both commuting to work, my dad wouldn't
Speaker 1: get home from work to like seven thirty at night,
Speaker 1: and then we're just like basically pass out on the
Speaker 1: couch a lot of time with their time with sleeping. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I've lived that life but then so then on
Speaker 1: the flip side, it's like, Okay, but we as a society,
Speaker 1: especially in America, um are so critical of how much
Speaker 1: we work and so but if we're not working, what
Speaker 1: do we do spending time with friends and family? But bobbies?
Speaker 1: I don't think a lot of my friends anymore. But
Speaker 1: I think a lot of Americans are working like crazy
Speaker 1: bullshit hours work. So I don't think there's a lot
Speaker 1: of people that have a lot of time that are
Speaker 1: like just sitting there doing nothing. Well, that's a that's
Speaker 1: a thing that's like part of the existential crisis is
Speaker 1: so it's basically like it's a shedding of the skin
Speaker 1: or like an outgrowth. So like in that process, you know,
Speaker 1: you're also like, not only are you losing interest in
Speaker 1: like your former purpose and like the things that you're doing,
Speaker 1: you're also losing interest in most of the people around you.
Speaker 1: And then yeah, it's scary. That's a scary thing. You go,
Speaker 1: what's the point? Okay, And like I don't want to
Speaker 1: be like a bad person, Like I don't want to
Speaker 1: hang out with these people anymore. But it's just like
Speaker 1: I don't Yeah, that's what your friends that you Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's pretty natural. Yeah, you go through you you shed yourself,
Speaker 1: like you go through deaths of yourself, like versions of
Speaker 1: yourself die, die off. And then and but then like
Speaker 1: the just a little extreme for it all to happen
Speaker 1: out once. I argue that it's meant to happen all
Speaker 1: at once, you know what. And when it does, it's
Speaker 1: such a fucking fucking tornado when you when when you
Speaker 1: sort of come out of all of this, there's going
Speaker 1: to be I think, like a clarity, right, But it's
Speaker 1: like if you come out of it. I'm not saying
Speaker 1: I'm gonna kill myself or anything, but I but it's
Speaker 1: just like this is a I mean, this is I
Speaker 1: haven't had a good year since seventeen and what would
Speaker 1: you say, I mean except for except for this chunk
Speaker 1: of COVID. I loved that. Oh God, bring me back
Speaker 1: to my best best time I've had in my adult life.
Speaker 1: Not not joking, but come back just so you can
Speaker 1: chill again. Which is fascinating because so conceptually what I
Speaker 1: did this year in many ways very similar to what
Speaker 1: I did during COVID, but felt so different, you know.
Speaker 1: And also, I mean, the world changed a lot post
Speaker 1: COVID and everyone's just like more nightmarish than they already
Speaker 1: previously were. And that's you know on the books. Well
Speaker 1: do you think, though, Karin, like you're really you're somebody
Speaker 1: who really keeps up with like pop culture, which that's
Speaker 1: that's one thing, but also like social media. You're very
Speaker 1: active on social media, and you look at what all
Speaker 1: the kids are doing. You understand all the trends. But like,
Speaker 1: I don't do that because it would kill my soul?
Speaker 1: Does that do anything to you, like emotionally, Like I
Speaker 1: just can't. It's just too much. It's too much. It's
Speaker 1: too much stimuli. Like I don't scroll on social media.
Speaker 1: I do like once a day, but I'm like, it's
Speaker 1: it's too much now. I mean, I mean, I don't like,
Speaker 1: I don't like doom scroll. And also if anything, like
Speaker 1: one of the highlights of my years that TikTok is
Speaker 1: so fun that I love TikTok. Yeah, I mean Instagram's nonsense,
Speaker 1: but yeah, know, TikTok is super fun. And I like
Speaker 1: a lot of things. And I also think like one
Speaker 1: of I think one of the things I've really um
Speaker 1: learned as I am getting older, and which is not
Speaker 1: old at all. And that's another misconception that like this
Speaker 1: is an old age UM is that it's very and well.
Speaker 1: I think part of the reason that people feel old
Speaker 1: or make jokes that they're old and like their mid
Speaker 1: to late thirties is because they did have kids, and
Speaker 1: they do they do stop being in touch with what
Speaker 1: young people are doing. And as much as I make
Speaker 1: fun of gen Z, I do you think it's extremely important?
Speaker 1: And again, this is something I've really witnessed Sarah Silverman
Speaker 1: shine in doing is UM keeping up with what is
Speaker 1: important UM to young people and what they are talking about.
Speaker 1: Not and not in a way like we're I'm not
Speaker 1: talking about like what dance they're doing to try and
Speaker 1: be cool on TikTok. I'm saying, like, truly like what
Speaker 1: the next generation values and how you can learn from
Speaker 1: them because you want you want to learn from people
Speaker 1: your age, but you also want to learn from people
Speaker 1: older than you, obviously, and I think I think people
Speaker 1: younger than you, which is I think is something that
Speaker 1: people really brush UM off unless they have children. But
Speaker 1: I would like to do it, and you know, and
Speaker 1: valuable children. And I again again, especially whether or not
Speaker 1: I continue doing stand up is is a different thing. Um,
Speaker 1: but uh yeah, I mean yeah, and it's okay. And
Speaker 1: then the last part of this um um, and then
Speaker 1: part of another part of this existential crisis is that
Speaker 1: I haven't had sex in ten months. And some would
Speaker 1: argue that's why I'm sitting here crying. It's really not.
Speaker 1: I'm just not. I even tried to master me yesterday.
Speaker 1: I was like, what am I doing? This is stupid? Um.
Speaker 1: I like it's like I set out to like be
Speaker 1: cell abate. It started out that I was just you know,
Speaker 1: broke up. I broke up with my boyfriend, and then
Speaker 1: because I needed to, I realized that I needed to
Speaker 1: just grieve my dad heavily, and I had no interest
Speaker 1: in sex. And then when my sex drive finally came back,
Speaker 1: it just came back a lot more selectively, I think.
Speaker 1: And I decided to like really listen to my body
Speaker 1: the you know, the same way I do for like ailments,
Speaker 1: and then and not just have sex with someone unless
Speaker 1: I was really excited to do it. And since I
Speaker 1: made that decision, I've only met one one new person
Speaker 1: who I thought I would be excited to have sex with. Um,
Speaker 1: and he he lived across the country. So that's why
Speaker 1: we didn't just have sex, um, and and so we
Speaker 1: got to know each other over the course of like
Speaker 1: one or two months maybe, and then was finally at
Speaker 1: the point where we're like, okay, like we have to
Speaker 1: like one of us has to fly out of each other.
Speaker 1: And kind of at that point, I wasn't that excited
Speaker 1: to have sex with him anymore. So I didn't. I
Speaker 1: was like, we don't need to be getting on airplanes
Speaker 1: at this point. Um. Yeah, So I'm just moving onto
Speaker 1: a lot of new things in my life and a
Speaker 1: lot of the old ship and old pastimes. Uh, and
Speaker 1: old people won't be coming along. And I guess that's
Speaker 1: my that's my thoughts for two three. Yeah, well that's well,
Speaker 1: it sounds like you're setting yourself up for a really
Speaker 1: great year, honestly, because there's been a lot of deaths
Speaker 1: metaphorically and literally. Well, no, I do because as somebody
Speaker 1: who like just you know, after it's like when it's
Speaker 1: like five years in a row, you're like, yeah, well,
Speaker 1: whenever you want to cut the ship and you want
Speaker 1: to make a difference in your life so that you
Speaker 1: can experience more happiness because you deserve it. Well, I mean,
Speaker 1: I remember, you know, I remember at one point getting
Speaker 1: out of Christina Christian his car this year and just
Speaker 1: being like, well, you would think that the year after
Speaker 1: your dad dies would be better than the year that
Speaker 1: your dad dies, and I would go, I can't say
Speaker 1: that it is. It's actually worse because there was time
Speaker 1: that I spent with him. And also, I mean, like,
Speaker 1: I think the first year without your dad that's heavy
Speaker 1: as ship. Possibly possibly a theory is that when you're
Speaker 1: caring for someone that you truly love, um, it really
Speaker 1: puts it really puts into perspective the other people in
Speaker 1: your life. And I think spending so much time with
Speaker 1: my dad, I was like, wow, like it's effortless to
Speaker 1: take some care of someone when you really love them.
Speaker 1: And then it kind of like brought up this other question.
Speaker 1: It's like, have I ever really loved anyone that I've
Speaker 1: known romantically, your friendship wise both, And then you go,
Speaker 1: I don't know other than your parents or your family. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean I don't know. I'm like, I don't know
Speaker 1: that I could. And part of it is because he
Speaker 1: cared for me, you know, but like I don't know
Speaker 1: that I could care for my dad in the like,
Speaker 1: I don't think I could care for anyone else like
Speaker 1: in that way as they were like dying, like the
Speaker 1: things that I, you know, did for him. That's I
Speaker 1: think a lot of people would say that. So then
Speaker 1: but then it's so then it goes and then it
Speaker 1: puts everything to perspective, and so then you're so, you know, okay,
Speaker 1: your purpose for a year is like taking care of
Speaker 1: your dying parents, and then you go the other things
Speaker 1: now lack any meaning at all, which is which is
Speaker 1: a bummer because during the process, I remember questioning that
Speaker 1: about comedy, and I really came to the conclusion that
Speaker 1: it was important. And I still think humor is an
Speaker 1: extremely important UM tool. I would even call it a
Speaker 1: survival mechanism, and what doesn't you know calls it that
Speaker 1: as well. Um or or says it's one of the
Speaker 1: most important things in life. But then why do I
Speaker 1: not enjoy it? I think also, I think I kind
Speaker 1: of think, like the things I started to want to
Speaker 1: talk about on stage, um, we're a little heavier, and
Speaker 1: I was getting really frustrated, um about how not evolved
Speaker 1: people are. Yeah, Like I saw Joe Duros's new hour, Um,
Speaker 1: it's like a show called, uh, what is it there?
Speaker 1: And we never promised you a rose garden? And it's great.
Speaker 1: And Joe's one of my favorite comedians, you know, even
Speaker 1: before we were friends. You know, we're friends now, but
Speaker 1: he has always been one of my favorite comedians, even
Speaker 1: before we knew each other that well. Um, And it's
Speaker 1: like a bleak hour as you would expect from Joe
Speaker 1: to Rosa. I would be disappointed if it was anything
Speaker 1: but I kind of, you know, bit existential. And you know,
Speaker 1: he talks about just turning. He just turned forty five
Speaker 1: and he really had like a lot of thoughts about
Speaker 1: that and it's been aging has been difficult for him.
Speaker 1: He talks about all this in the show. I'm not
Speaker 1: speaking out of school, um, And like, I enjoyed it
Speaker 1: so much and his audience enjoyed it so much, and
Speaker 1: obviously I'm not you know, he's I would say he's
Speaker 1: a more gifted stand up comedian at this point than
Speaker 1: I am, but I'm pretty good and I and so
Speaker 1: I guess part of it was also that I am
Speaker 1: frustrated that I like set myself up two with like
Speaker 1: with an audience who I really thought at this point
Speaker 1: would he be able to handle the real ship, and
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know that they actually can. So
Speaker 1: you find yourself being misunderstood by the audiences. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean this is not necessarily like so a lot of
Speaker 1: these shows I'm talking about in New York shows, in
Speaker 1: which case it would not be like my specific audience,
Speaker 1: because like it depends, sometimes you think a New York
Speaker 1: kind of they are they can't. They have no capacity
Speaker 1: to deal with death. And that's the one thing I've
Speaker 1: I've you know, because death is such a like a
Speaker 1: and has been for many years a regular part of
Speaker 1: my life, and it's the only thing that we know
Speaker 1: for sure will happen to each and every one of
Speaker 1: us and everyone that we love. Um And so the
Speaker 1: fact that people are not only so unprepared for it,
Speaker 1: but also so unwilling to discuss it actually now repulses
Speaker 1: me about people. It's like it's like, what are you
Speaker 1: what are you hiding from? I really think a lot
Speaker 1: of people are afraid to confront it, because it's why
Speaker 1: it's like a horrifying truth. Death makes me so like
Speaker 1: the three of us in this room are not normal people.
Speaker 1: I guess you know what I mean. But also, but
Speaker 1: it's also fascinating to me that no one is willing
Speaker 1: to confer on death, but also no one seems to
Speaker 1: be enjoying life that much, right, Yeah, that's huge, that's
Speaker 1: but do you think that people are aware that they're
Speaker 1: not enjoying life that much? People? I think they're addicted
Speaker 1: to them. I think people are addicted to their own misery.
Speaker 1: And it's really fucking problem. Well, if not everybody, obviously,
Speaker 1: but the ones that are. And that's why I cut
Speaker 1: my parents out, Like you funk that I'm not going
Speaker 1: to do that. Well, when you're making such long hours, Um,
Speaker 1: I don't think you have time, you know. That's part
Speaker 1: of the problem with working for yourself is like if
Speaker 1: I want to spend ten hours in a day thinking
Speaker 1: about the meaning of life, I can, And I don't
Speaker 1: necessarily know that that's a thing, you know, And I'm
Speaker 1: so jealous of, like especially like my heterosexual male friends
Speaker 1: who literally and I know I talked about this a lot,
Speaker 1: but it's like it's because I'm jealous they can just
Speaker 1: find like an okay girl and spend all of their
Speaker 1: time and obviously, like they're using the woman the same
Speaker 1: way that you would use drugs, you know, just to
Speaker 1: numb and to avoid. But like I wish I was
Speaker 1: able to like just find a guy I kind of
Speaker 1: liked and avoid life for a couple of months. I don't,
Speaker 1: I don't, I can't. I've tried, it been miserable. That
Speaker 1: sounds terrible. Everyone does it, Everyone does it. That sounds awful.
Speaker 1: I'm not. This is not I'm not talking like someone
Speaker 1: you hate, but like someone who's good enough. You know.
Speaker 1: It's like very much like my least favorite song of
Speaker 1: all time, love the one you're with. It's very love
Speaker 1: the one you're with. And that song has bothered me
Speaker 1: since I was a child. I thought, what a fucking
Speaker 1: insane song to sing, big hit because popular everyone's doing it,
Speaker 1: you know. And then on TikTok, the um I even
Speaker 1: saw the kind of you know, there was years, I
Speaker 1: guess years ago a Reddit thread that went viral of
Speaker 1: a bunch of men talking about, uh, the fact that
Speaker 1: they ended up marrying and having kids with a person
Speaker 1: who was convenient and it's very much on like the
Speaker 1: in the Vicinity conversation that we had that also went
Speaker 1: viral on TikTok. But um uh yeah, that that meant
Speaker 1: that there was a big Reddit threat of men who
Speaker 1: ended up talking having this conversation about they married the
Speaker 1: woman that and had kids with a woman who was
Speaker 1: most convenient, but they did all have like a great
Speaker 1: love who got away and they thought of her often.
Speaker 1: Fuck you know yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear it all
Speaker 1: the time. Yes, extremely, I'd say like right that wait
Speaker 1: right serious? Absolutely, yeah, serious, No, I would never Why
Speaker 1: would anybody do it? Most people do. Why would you
Speaker 1: be with somebody weren't mad about? Because it's too much
Speaker 1: work and too much grief and too much passion, which
Speaker 1: is not good, and most people don't achieve at a
Speaker 1: certain level. It's not like a lot of people. But
Speaker 1: where listen in this in cities, I think there are
Speaker 1: people that have a propensity to put things like that
Speaker 1: on hold because they are working on a larger career.
Speaker 1: They're going to law school, they're getting an m b
Speaker 1: a there on Wall Street, they're in fashion, they're in media,
Speaker 1: they're doing all these things. And that's why they don't
Speaker 1: just sort of like find somebody, have a bunch of
Speaker 1: kids whatever. I think of people, at least in America
Speaker 1: don't have a life like that, Like they're they're not
Speaker 1: putting those things on hold because they haven't met the
Speaker 1: right person yet and they're just focused on their career.
Speaker 1: Most people are not actually focus on their career. They
Speaker 1: have a career and that they it's just what they
Speaker 1: do and they like work for their for whatever company
Speaker 1: they work for, and they're not like I think people
Speaker 1: that live in suburbs are often like very excited to
Speaker 1: just kind of like let themselves go, like just at
Speaker 1: a certain points stop like taking great care of themselves
Speaker 1: and trying to achieve and and I guess that that
Speaker 1: would make me really want to kill myself. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: I think that a lot of people that's just like
Speaker 1: it's kind of like a towny mentality. But like the
Speaker 1: most most people, I guess, yeah, Like I have some
Speaker 1: friends that I grew up with that have really done
Speaker 1: well for themselves and have like a beautiful life and
Speaker 1: they are married and they have a kid. Like my
Speaker 1: best friend Evan shout out him and his wife Evan
Speaker 1: and Jackie have a great family and a great life.
Speaker 1: And they are not the people that I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: They have like a suburban life where they have a
Speaker 1: beautiful new house, they have a beautiful, beautiful baby. Uh,
Speaker 1: they're very much love, they're like perfect for each other
Speaker 1: and they both have awesome jobs, like they're they're kicking ass,
Speaker 1: and a lot of a lot of other people that
Speaker 1: were our group of friends when we were growing up,
Speaker 1: I don't have that like they don't necessarily have that
Speaker 1: stuff in play. And it's a little like it's hard
Speaker 1: because people aren't given good examples of what your life
Speaker 1: could be like, not through pop culture, not through their
Speaker 1: own parents, not that their own family, not to the
Speaker 1: people they're surrounded with, and so it's like, if you
Speaker 1: have a certain idea of what your options are and
Speaker 1: you don't even know that it's limited, you're gonna you're
Speaker 1: gonna drive yourself into the mud with just misery. Current Union,
Speaker 1: New Jersey, Right Union and Edison not very different like
Speaker 1: our upbringing. Do you think a lot of people that
Speaker 1: you grew up with are are like kicking ass in
Speaker 1: life or they just kind of like you know? But
Speaker 1: I think they're you know. And so I think part
Speaker 1: of the problem is that I want so much for
Speaker 1: myself and have already gotten so much that it's just like, Okay,
Speaker 1: well when is this It's going to be scratched? And
Speaker 1: then secondly, I think when you're talking about like so
Speaker 1: it's hard to know what you want when you've never
Speaker 1: seen anyone else get get anything, and thought, wow, I
Speaker 1: want that. I've never looked at how anyone else's life
Speaker 1: ended up. Maybe share is the close six sixtample is um,
Speaker 1: but it's like I've just it's not like you know,
Speaker 1: people describe like even like that that you know your
Speaker 1: friend that you just described like the nice house and
Speaker 1: the nice Maybe that sounds wonderful for them, and I'm
Speaker 1: so happy for them. That gives me hives. That sounds awful.
Speaker 1: It sounds like an awful existence. And I was using
Speaker 1: the best case scenario that like that to me, there
Speaker 1: they live the suburban life that I like. Like to me,
Speaker 1: seems like, okay, this is like they've they've won, They've
Speaker 1: like one suburban life. This is exactly like this should
Speaker 1: be the pinnacle of if you want to live a
Speaker 1: life like they fucking crushed it. Whereas like a lot
Speaker 1: of other people that we grew up around, like I
Speaker 1: didn't do that. They kind of when you grew up
Speaker 1: in a lot of like sort of like whatever towns
Speaker 1: you don't like, Christina said, you don't have an example
Speaker 1: of of like prosperous people around you. Really I didn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't. Well, I think it also just really does
Speaker 1: go back to kind of my joke, and just like
Speaker 1: when you have so much within yourself, so it's like, okay,
Speaker 1: if you're if you're not really actively looking for things
Speaker 1: outside of yourself, then what what are you doing in
Speaker 1: the world? You know. So it's just like in relationships
Speaker 1: sort of like with like you know, a lot of
Speaker 1: people are getting on stage, you know, for example, to
Speaker 1: do comedy because they need the audience to say I
Speaker 1: love you and I hear you. That doesn't do It
Speaker 1: means nothing to me. They could laugh, they could laugh
Speaker 1: with me, they could laugh at me, they could boom
Speaker 1: me off stage. I'd feel the same way about all
Speaker 1: of those things. The booing actually would maybe bring me
Speaker 1: a little more joy because it would be funny. What
Speaker 1: has made you fall out of love with stand up?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe it's just a natural I think
Speaker 1: part of it is just like I I'm I threw away,
Speaker 1: you know, I will be put in the special all
Speaker 1: the kind of like I would say Tier one material
Speaker 1: and now I moved on to tier two, and people
Speaker 1: don't want to talk about anything more complex, and I
Speaker 1: was already coming in like with kinds of weird ideas,
Speaker 1: um and like, So I have no interest in continuing
Speaker 1: to talk about tier one things when I have graduated
Speaker 1: from those. And so if I can't talk about what
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously you know, it's my job to create
Speaker 1: a way in which we can talk about this. And
Speaker 1: I'm not saying there's no audience that you know, you know,
Speaker 1: people have done full specials about death obviously, um, staying home.
Speaker 1: You know, it's just it's kind of lead. Then it's
Speaker 1: like rebuilding your audience from scratch. I suppose, well, you know,
Speaker 1: have you ever? Every you know and share has done
Speaker 1: this so many times and I've been This is one
Speaker 1: of my things for three is like reinventing yourself fucking love.
Speaker 1: I've never tried it. I'm gonna try it. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: try and reinvent my fucking self every every year to
Speaker 1: do when you when you're a pop star, how do
Speaker 1: you reinvent yourself as a comedian? What's the who's a
Speaker 1: comedian who's reinvented themselves? There's not many that have, but like,
Speaker 1: just because it hasn't been done, George Collin's been through
Speaker 1: a lot of iterations, well a lot of times. Some
Speaker 1: Chappelle I think, has been through a lot of iterations
Speaker 1: of himself. I don't know that he intentionally tried to
Speaker 1: reinvent himself, but he's evolved in a way that I
Speaker 1: really enjoy. Yeah, I think the comedy reinventions. I think
Speaker 1: what's happening there is that comedy evolves, and so it's
Speaker 1: like either you you get left behind, you know, which
Speaker 1: I would argue happened to Jerry Seinfeld a little bit,
Speaker 1: um because he did not reinvent himself. Yeah, and so
Speaker 1: you stay with that old style or you are able
Speaker 1: to adjust into you know, the new Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: because comedy will content continuously rebirths, but also reinvention is
Speaker 1: like if the first iteration of yourself that people see
Speaker 1: is pretty much who you really are, and you like
Speaker 1: who you are, then how do you reinvent that? I say,
Speaker 1: you add another layer, You add another layer you and
Speaker 1: you discuss and you have to discover what that layer is.
Speaker 1: You kind of have to mine for that layer of
Speaker 1: yourself and because it has to be one that you
Speaker 1: really enjoy, that you love dancing and stepping in um
Speaker 1: that works for you, and it's trial and error. It's
Speaker 1: like finding a therapist, like finding a boyfriend, like finding
Speaker 1: the right car, you know, house like it's it's all.
Speaker 1: Can I ask you something though, as as somebody who
Speaker 1: has heard you talk about uh, personal romantic relationships, the
Speaker 1: idea of love and the idea of sort of being
Speaker 1: with one person for the rest of your life is
Speaker 1: not some philosophy that seems like you really um buy into.
Speaker 1: I don't think it doesn't seem feasible for me. So
Speaker 1: do you feel that that Why would that be any
Speaker 1: different for a craft or a job? Right? That's good.
Speaker 1: That's also what the pattern up said, Michael? Is that right? Michael? Yeah,
Speaker 1: just a real I don't I don't do the pay
Speaker 1: one anymore. It's just a real pain in the ass
Speaker 1: um basically to have to like create create a like
Speaker 1: you know, uh, just say goodbye to something that you've
Speaker 1: not only excelled in, but that has brought you so
Speaker 1: much joy, you know. And I mean it's not uncommon.
Speaker 1: Many many many stand ups and great uh successful Emma
Speaker 1: Wilma has um. I mean all of the comedians from
Speaker 1: like the nineties. Basically, like when people in comedians are
Speaker 1: getting sitcoms after a while. It's like like Seinfeld went
Speaker 1: so long without doing stand up, sure like felt the
Speaker 1: need again. Judd Apples how Ellen. I mean, these are
Speaker 1: people who won't won't do stand up for years and
Speaker 1: we'll do it again. And so it's very common obviously,
Speaker 1: but it's just like something that meant so much to you.
Speaker 1: And then it's also like, well, there needs to be
Speaker 1: something else like there to take its place. There has
Speaker 1: to be something, Yeah, and finding that it can be
Speaker 1: lonely and sad and terrifying in a way because if
Speaker 1: you because in the meantime you don't have a thing,
Speaker 1: it's you know, darring. But that I mean, maybe that's
Speaker 1: what this year brings you, is that that new spark
Speaker 1: of whatever it is. You know, you've talked about the
Speaker 1: party planning stuff that could be it like you should
Speaker 1: spend the year trying a few things out and just seeing,
Speaker 1: you know what kind of lights you up a little bit.
Speaker 1: I know, I think it was gonna travel a lot
Speaker 1: and not for work, but yeah, just suck it. Just
Speaker 1: give a few things to try because this is bound
Speaker 1: to happen. Like you're not going to like the same
Speaker 1: things at forty that you did at thirty, or the
Speaker 1: same things that you liked it twenty. I mean something
Speaker 1: I was hoping that that, you know, there's one thing
Speaker 1: that I could like the whole time. Though it doesn't
Speaker 1: sound like stand up. It just sounds you're going through
Speaker 1: a normal rut with it, you know. I just think
Speaker 1: that there are like, like I can't see myself like
Speaker 1: ever not liking baseball. But what you really think of
Speaker 1: that in the grand scheme of life, it's like sure,
Speaker 1: liking one thing and going through waves where it's your
Speaker 1: favorite thing, Like it doesn't like the whole time, like
Speaker 1: Tim Curry the whole time, you know, like that's not
Speaker 1: going anywhere, like the Spice Girls the whole time, right,
Speaker 1: he love your dog the whole time. There's finding some
Speaker 1: new ship that you like. That's like what life's about
Speaker 1: is the evolution, you know who. I just don't have
Speaker 1: any real skills, Michael. You have them in you, you
Speaker 1: just have to develop them, for sure. I saw you
Speaker 1: torboton it sky Fest. You still got that. I need
Speaker 1: that video about it. I forget to ask you every
Speaker 1: single Yeah, I'll send it to I'll remind me before
Speaker 1: we leave. Um. Well, yeah, I want to reinvent myself.
Speaker 1: I think it'd be sick. I've never really tried it. Um, Like,
Speaker 1: what does that look like to you? I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I have to find it, but I I
Speaker 1: think I love Um. I think Share is because I
Speaker 1: had in my head when I thought, I think I
Speaker 1: want to reinvent myself. Share is probably the top share
Speaker 1: in Beyonce. Beyonce has reinvented herself so many goddamn times,
Speaker 1: but Share probably is the best example of reinventing yourself.
Speaker 1: And I think there's a lot of like solace in
Speaker 1: that because I think I you experienced deaths of versions
Speaker 1: of yourself as you go through life. That's something everyone does,
Speaker 1: whether you recognize it or not. And Share just pops
Speaker 1: up and is like a master at doing whatever the
Speaker 1: new things. Like when she's just like this to deal
Speaker 1: with it, I think she got it. I think she
Speaker 1: won the Oscar for that, didn't she. Yeah yeah, she
Speaker 1: just like came off the bench and was like, let
Speaker 1: me just win this Oscar real quick. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: I'm just like looking back in the like because I've
Speaker 1: been watching a lot of videos of the podcast trying
Speaker 1: I'm trying to learn how to edit with with the
Speaker 1: Daily Premiere, which is really fun and kind of addicting.
Speaker 1: But like, through watching all these videos of the podcast,
Speaker 1: you know, I've been watching myself talk over people bring
Speaker 1: up the mom stuff too much, like all the things
Speaker 1: things that I'm like, oh, I think that's a thing
Speaker 1: that I have that I don't look at. You can
Speaker 1: kind of force yourself to look at it. And that's
Speaker 1: been It's been very good because one of my goals
Speaker 1: for UM is to not take anything personally. It's so
Speaker 1: hard for me, but it's I've been getting better at it. UM.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I think UM, one of the things, I
Speaker 1: feel like my personal romantic relationship has like clicked into
Speaker 1: a a way of existing that's like so nice, UM
Speaker 1: because I've had a lot of anxiety around it for
Speaker 1: for various reasons, and so I just want to enjoy that.
Speaker 1: But one of the things that has I've observed is
Speaker 1: it's almost as hard like I want to number. I
Speaker 1: used to think I wanted to numb out when I
Speaker 1: experienced bad things when I think about the moms all
Speaker 1: all the trauma shit. But I noticed UM trying to
Speaker 1: be more self aware, which is fucking exhausting um that
Speaker 1: I numb out and I get scared when I feel
Speaker 1: overwhelmingly happy. It's weird. I'm like, I didn't even know
Speaker 1: that was a thing that people could response. Oh is
Speaker 1: it at people think that? Yeah, I've never really I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess I've always acted like that. I just noticed
Speaker 1: because you're waiting for the other shooted drop. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess that. Yeah. Yeah, it's just like I I
Speaker 1: want to know them out and go for the adderall
Speaker 1: or go for the weed or go for the whatever
Speaker 1: the funk it is when I'm overly happy and I'm like,
Speaker 1: that's that's not good. I guess so yeah, but I
Speaker 1: love being happy so much, so you just love to
Speaker 1: yea happy and then it's just like, yeah, eventually something
Speaker 1: bad will happen for sure, how life is well. Yeah.
Speaker 1: One of the things I'm also realizing is like everything
Speaker 1: is cyclical, Everything comes in waves, everything has a season.
Speaker 1: And I've I've really done a great job the last
Speaker 1: couple of times that I fell into like a deep depression,
Speaker 1: I've gone I've gotten to a place where I'm like, hey, you,
Speaker 1: I will feel joy in three days. So like it's
Speaker 1: it's it will come like it will go away. And
Speaker 1: I actually believe myself when I say that, which is awesome,
Speaker 1: and then because I proved it to be true, which
Speaker 1: is really great. But I'm just trying to enjoy the
Speaker 1: happy things in my life. They fucking freaked me out,
Speaker 1: but I'm getting better at it. Um. I'm reading this
Speaker 1: listening one of the books that I'm listening to because
Speaker 1: a lot of people recommend books to me, and sometimes
Speaker 1: I just happened to see the d M like, I'll
Speaker 1: go one to my other inbox and just have and
Speaker 1: I'll just for some reason my brain just certain times
Speaker 1: I get book recommendations, I just download it right away
Speaker 1: and I get into the book and I'm like, oh funk,
Speaker 1: this is exactly what I wanted to hear. There's this
Speaker 1: book that I was really looking forward to to listening
Speaker 1: to because I I feel like it lends itself to
Speaker 1: me giving better advice on the guys we fucked. But
Speaker 1: it's called How to be an Adult in Relationships by
Speaker 1: David Ritchell. And one of the things he points out
Speaker 1: that I found interesting is, um, yeah, you find out
Speaker 1: what he likes. I have no idea. Um, but he
Speaker 1: taught one of the things he talked about that I
Speaker 1: was like, Oh, that's very interesting, is the the idea
Speaker 1: of being attached in a relationship is actually very unhealthy,
Speaker 1: the idea of alling in love like we say, fall
Speaker 1: into a coma, you fall to your death, like falling
Speaker 1: in love. Yeah, yeah, that was so like, yeah, he
Speaker 1: does look like he's a professional profession guy. Um. But
Speaker 1: this idea of not being attached in any way in
Speaker 1: a relationship and just existing side by side, it was
Speaker 1: a very interesting concept that I kind of haven't gotten
Speaker 1: out of my head since I heard it in the
Speaker 1: audio book. And I've been really paying attention to myself
Speaker 1: in my own relationship and I and I have been
Speaker 1: able to when I noticed myself being like too clingy
Speaker 1: to attach to like no fix me daddy kind of ship,
Speaker 1: I can get out of it because I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's just the anxious part of me, and that's okay,
Speaker 1: Like that part that Parson never gonna stop coming up,
Speaker 1: but you just gotta go it's okay. Part and inner
Speaker 1: child work had been doing a lot, but like in
Speaker 1: a in a very healthy way where I find myself
Speaker 1: in these like darker emotional times, which I thank god
Speaker 1: have been. You were far far between um where I
Speaker 1: noticed like, oh, there's a part of me that's like stuck,
Speaker 1: like it's stuck, like my shoe is stuck in gum,
Speaker 1: but like like a like a diesel version of gum
Speaker 1: where I can't get out, and um kind of meeting
Speaker 1: myself wherever the moment I got stuck was not really
Speaker 1: needing to identify it, but more like talking to myself
Speaker 1: in the way that I actually need to be talked to,
Speaker 1: because that whole idea. I think I said this a
Speaker 1: couple episodes ago, but if you weren't nurtured um in
Speaker 1: the way that you needed to, how do you provide
Speaker 1: that for yourself? Because part of human existence and like
Speaker 1: a human human beings childhood is longer than any other
Speaker 1: childhood for any animal on this planet, which I find
Speaker 1: very interesting. We're very dependent on our parents. You know,
Speaker 1: a baby fawn can be born and then two three
Speaker 1: days later or even the same day, it's walking. I
Speaker 1: know thirty eight year old who are still dependent on
Speaker 1: their parents. Italian men shout out, I have stuff to
Speaker 1: sell their parents. So often it's like it's like mind blowing.
Speaker 1: The point I just resolved to my I just like,
Speaker 1: I just made it ass to myself that I just like,
Speaker 1: I go, from this point on, you just don't call
Speaker 1: your parents anymore and you figured out on your own. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I just stick stuck to it. Yeah. Yeah, And
Speaker 1: I while speaking of that, like, I'm really, um, really
Speaker 1: glad that I made the decision to stop speaking with
Speaker 1: both of my parents. Very hard decision because it's like
Speaker 1: you feel like a feel like a little orphaned. But
Speaker 1: you're like, well, yeah, because I I would go, oh,
Speaker 1: who do I go to for advice and support? But
Speaker 1: then you go, was I really getting advice and support
Speaker 1: from them? I don't know, like I was getting this
Speaker 1: version of it that wasn't really helpful, right, And also
Speaker 1: kind of like that's the thing at this age. It's
Speaker 1: like not that you shouldn't ask your parents anymore, but
Speaker 1: like there are people that are still attached at the
Speaker 1: tea for sure. Yeah, and that's not yeah, the one
Speaker 1: thing I do. It's like there is like an unconditional
Speaker 1: love that mothers give their kids or I guess dads
Speaker 1: other kids that just like supportive. No matter what kind
Speaker 1: of thing that I did, I certainly did get from
Speaker 1: my parents. Uh at times, Um, my dad did say
Speaker 1: once to me, you've never done anything that I could
Speaker 1: be openly proud of him that that hurt. But as
Speaker 1: he was sitting in the house that I have thought, yeah,
Speaker 1: so um, yeah, But I think sadly parents see stuff
Speaker 1: like that kind of like semi often, you know, to
Speaker 1: their kids. I think I think they don't, but I've
Speaker 1: heard a lot of stories like that. I think they also,
Speaker 1: like you know, sometimes people say things and they don't
Speaker 1: realize just like the damage it does. Yeah, how that's
Speaker 1: gonna hie? Yeah, it cuts deep and for sure, like
Speaker 1: I don't know that he really realized he was holding
Speaker 1: a sword and putting it into my heart when he
Speaker 1: said that. He just said it in an anger. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I wouldn't. I would argue it wasn't even mad.
Speaker 1: I don't necessarily thing, well he would if you're not
Speaker 1: yelling and you can still be mad in your heart anything,
Speaker 1: maybe for sure, Yeah, for sure it might have been
Speaker 1: coming from something else. I don't believe. I just don't
Speaker 1: think if you I just don't think like if he
Speaker 1: was like on a light to hector test that he
Speaker 1: would actually answer that yeah maybe not maybe not um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, it's just it's it's but it's been a
Speaker 1: good decision. And I love like the that I do.
Speaker 1: Like I say every fucking intro on this podcast, I
Speaker 1: do a Patreon thing. There's a lot of people in
Speaker 1: the Patreon Like, I tracked a lot of people with
Speaker 1: parent issues, which I totally understand because it's something that
Speaker 1: I you know, it's nice to talk about with other
Speaker 1: people that experience it, like in a more niche little way.
Speaker 1: These group zoom therapy in quotes Chad sessions, but it's
Speaker 1: it's like, oh wow, it's it's nice to hear other
Speaker 1: people that have cut their parents off for decades, some
Speaker 1: of them, and they're like, best decision I ever made,
Speaker 1: because no one would ever encourage you to stay in
Speaker 1: an abusive relationship. Why would people encourage you to stay
Speaker 1: in abusive parent relationship? It's so funny. I do follow
Speaker 1: a couple accounts that are like, you know, helping people
Speaker 1: get away from toxic parents and offering support for that,
Speaker 1: and a lot of them, a lot of them say like,
Speaker 1: people are going to tell you, but it's your mom.
Speaker 1: I'm like, honestly, no one's told me that, no one's
Speaker 1: ever been like, but why not one even a stranger
Speaker 1: has has been like that. So because I feel like people,
Speaker 1: you know, they don't want to push you to stay
Speaker 1: in an abusive thing. But anyway, my in terms of resolutions,
Speaker 1: I've been thinking about I want to encore written more
Speaker 1: activities in my day to day that makes me focus
Speaker 1: on something other than myself and doing acts of service.
Speaker 1: I signed up for this volunteer organization, like a soup
Speaker 1: kitchen thing, UM in God's Love We Deliver. It's a
Speaker 1: great organ they have like UM kitchens all around the city, UM,
Speaker 1: and it's super easy to sign up. But I'm like,
Speaker 1: I want to do that. I want to be more
Speaker 1: of service to the people in my life, my friends,
Speaker 1: UM and the projects that I'm working on, and be
Speaker 1: like really present and like constantly asking myself, like how
Speaker 1: can I be doing more? Because I feel like I've
Speaker 1: just been phoning it in pretty much the whole time
Speaker 1: because I've been too overwhelmed by my emotions and that
Speaker 1: stops this fucking year UM and just adding more silliness
Speaker 1: to my life. I guess so heavy and it's so
Speaker 1: exhausting and I hate it and I forget like in
Speaker 1: those moments like I just forget like silliness is what
Speaker 1: makes life worth living. It really is, because there's a
Speaker 1: lot of bleak shit happening, and it's like if you
Speaker 1: can't find like areas of levity throughout these moments, these
Speaker 1: pockets in your life, like every fucking day. Like so
Speaker 1: I have like a saved album on my Instagram that
Speaker 1: like is just stupid ship that makes me laugh, like
Speaker 1: like um, Pinterest fales when people try to make a
Speaker 1: cake for their kids and just like shit, there's all
Speaker 1: the there's so many videos that like my boyfriend sent
Speaker 1: me a video of Mariah Careyes, someone auto tuned I
Speaker 1: don't want to, I don't the Christmas song and she's
Speaker 1: just kind going up and up, and I'm like that
Speaker 1: ship makes me fall to my knees laughing. It's so stupid.
Speaker 1: So I have like I look at that stuff every day,
Speaker 1: like stuff that makes me cry laughing because it's so
Speaker 1: The fucking milk jump video to this day, it's just
Speaker 1: kids who go to supermarkets. It's a whole phenomenon and
Speaker 1: they just run down the aisle and then they fall
Speaker 1: and milk everywhere. They throw a gallon of milk up
Speaker 1: in the air and funniest next to an old lady,
Speaker 1: like a delinquent thing, like an old unassuming lady that's
Speaker 1: like picking out eggs. And they literally throw this giant
Speaker 1: gallon of milk up into the sky and it crashes
Speaker 1: down and they fall and the old ladies like, all,
Speaker 1: my god, are you look funnier than any film or
Speaker 1: stand up special ever? Creat know this this was before ticktok,
Speaker 1: This was like on you know, on YouTube started. This
Speaker 1: is an old school thing, but I my favorite thing
Speaker 1: is like introducing people to this and then just watching
Speaker 1: them and because like when you're when you're describing it,
Speaker 1: it seems juvenile and it is, but you all know,
Speaker 1: like I fucking loved like I love impractical jokers. I
Speaker 1: mean I've cried laughing many times watching in practical days. Right.
Speaker 1: There was the time when we were on the road
Speaker 1: when I would call hotels ahead of time to make
Speaker 1: sure that they had true TV so I could watch
Speaker 1: practical joker. I would run home from shows. Yeah, my
Speaker 1: hold life. There was like a year when I'm not
Speaker 1: joking on. I told sal this when we know we finally,
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't think you want to understand
Speaker 1: the profound effect that you read my life, but that's
Speaker 1: the that levity, that silliness in your life makes everything better.
Speaker 1: Like that, the laughing that I just did when I
Speaker 1: was recalling these video is like that is exactly That's
Speaker 1: what everybody needs. And it's so easy to forget. Man,
Speaker 1: it's so easy to fucking thing memes are pretty funny.
Speaker 1: I'm so good. This is when you're away from home
Speaker 1: and you start losing the battle and it's like a
Speaker 1: thing of like a beehive in a statue's ass. It
Speaker 1: looks like a ship coming out and this fucking thing,
Speaker 1: this fucking athlete Simpson. I don't think we can play that.
Speaker 1: We can play a couple of seconds of it. It's
Speaker 1: so funny. Also, I feel like in Jessica Simpson out
Speaker 1: singing themselves, I feel like it doesn't pick up when
Speaker 1: it's a live version of the of the song too,
Speaker 1: and like the in the robot algorithm, because I think
Speaker 1: like it's like it's like when you try to shazam
Speaker 1: a live version of a song and it's like, I
Speaker 1: don't get it. Lazy. So yeah, this year is all
Speaker 1: gonna be about lightness. Me for the first time, I'm
Speaker 1: coming out of the dark and um, that's it. That's
Speaker 1: all I got. Nice Michael, I don't have much. I mean,
Speaker 1: I had a great year. I'm sorry to some good year. Honestly,
Speaker 1: this is one of the best years I've had in
Speaker 1: a long time. I had. I took a lot of
Speaker 1: big steps obviously, moved into my own place and uh
Speaker 1: trying of made the steps to start my own business
Speaker 1: like production company and everything. So that's the first resolution
Speaker 1: that I have, is to really actually finally get that
Speaker 1: off the ground for real, like like show it to
Speaker 1: the world, you know. Um, that's the big one. The
Speaker 1: other one actually does kind of play into some of
Speaker 1: the stuff that you were saying, Karin. Uh. The other
Speaker 1: one that I have is it's kind of like a
Speaker 1: hyphenated resolution. I have be more social, but also just
Speaker 1: make new friends, make more friends. I definitely feel some
Speaker 1: of what you were saying about feeling you've outgrown some
Speaker 1: people and kind of it's about the caliber of person.
Speaker 1: And I think, uh, both in dating and in friendships,
Speaker 1: I've outgrown. And I'm not talking about my core friends. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm talking about everybody. Yeah, I'm talking about on the outskirts.
Speaker 1: I need, I need to be around a new caliber
Speaker 1: of person. Yeah, And I feel the same way too.
Speaker 1: I think this year I had a lot of friends
Speaker 1: that moved out of the city, that moved to either
Speaker 1: other cities, close friends, you know that I kind of
Speaker 1: were my go to people to hang out with a
Speaker 1: lot of the time. And um, I think towards the
Speaker 1: end of the year, now that it's winter, I feel
Speaker 1: a little bit lonely, just because there there's less people
Speaker 1: to go out with. There's also you know, you said
Speaker 1: something to me on Halloween, Karen when we were no, no no,
Speaker 1: it's not bad when we were when we were on
Speaker 1: our way. No. Sometimes I say things that stick with
Speaker 1: people too long, and I go, I don't know that
Speaker 1: you necessarily want to want to like take on my out.
Speaker 1: No no, no, No, it's it's you're right, Like you
Speaker 1: said something where you were just like, I'm right, I
Speaker 1: just don't want you to know the truth for your
Speaker 1: own sake. There there are just a lot of people
Speaker 1: that I think we're going to be going out with
Speaker 1: us that night that that that canceled, and they you
Speaker 1: were just like everybody is getting so old and boring. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I think that's part of like what is kind
Speaker 1: of happening at our age. A lot of people, really
Speaker 1: the first hell half of what we just talked about,
Speaker 1: are retreating in a lot of ways their own private lives.
Speaker 1: So for me, I'm just trying to find some more
Speaker 1: people that I can do things that I like with,
Speaker 1: even if it's just like little things, basketball, whatever, just
Speaker 1: like hang out with because people stopping incorporating fun. And
Speaker 1: that's the thing. So it's like usually when you when
Speaker 1: we start approaching these like mid to late thirties, it's
Speaker 1: like people are either just stop having fun in the
Speaker 1: same way that we interpreted it when we were younger,
Speaker 1: or they're absolute fuck boy delinquents. And I also, I
Speaker 1: don't want to hang out with those people. Can't either
Speaker 1: you can't do that. That's not we are too old
Speaker 1: that yeah, I mean I never really liked those those
Speaker 1: kinds of people, even when I was younger, you know.
Speaker 1: And like, you know, one of the people I went
Speaker 1: to the Script Club with was like a long time
Speaker 1: friend and he's like married, has a has a young child,
Speaker 1: one of the best married marriages I know of, you know.
Speaker 1: But like and then part of it is because like
Speaker 1: his wife knows that he's at a strip club with
Speaker 1: his female friend and she's fine with it, so it's
Speaker 1: like a healthy relationship. Yeah. So yeah, that's the big
Speaker 1: thing is like I feel like when when I started
Speaker 1: doing stand up in my early twenties, that was where
Speaker 1: I made all my New York friends. That's when I
Speaker 1: met you guys and everything. And obviously this is a
Speaker 1: relationship that's still going strong, but a lot of those
Speaker 1: people have quit or stopped, like left that left the city,
Speaker 1: like just not around anymore. So it's like some of
Speaker 1: them scared. Yeah, totally. And I think that I as
Speaker 1: a point of growth. I I feel like from twenty
Speaker 1: three to like my late twenties, I did a lot
Speaker 1: of growing in my social life, and you know, I
Speaker 1: had friends all over the city and every neighborhood and
Speaker 1: like I could go here and run into somebody, and
Speaker 1: I can go here, and I would like to have
Speaker 1: a little bit of that again. And I think that
Speaker 1: I've been holding myself back from doing that because I
Speaker 1: got a little too comfortable in my apartment this year,
Speaker 1: Like I finally got like a comfortable space. But that's
Speaker 1: so nice to spend time in your space, for your
Speaker 1: solo space, to be the only person in the apartment
Speaker 1: is a magical thing. It's a magical experience, but too
Speaker 1: much of it, I think is bad. You don't want
Speaker 1: to get into yeah, right, So sometimes a pendulum has
Speaker 1: to swing hard in the other direction for you to go, oh,
Speaker 1: okay this, I need to find a balance by incorporating
Speaker 1: a little bit more social time. Yes, And that's so,
Speaker 1: that's exactly right. That's my mission for the next year.
Speaker 1: That's like my big resolution is just to kind of
Speaker 1: get out there a little more and just trying to
Speaker 1: put myself in situations where I can meet people that
Speaker 1: are a little more like minded to where I am now, um,
Speaker 1: and see if there can be some like new adult
Speaker 1: friendships that developed beautiful, healthy way, you know. And then
Speaker 1: the last one, you know, the classic, I gotta lose
Speaker 1: ten pounds classic. You know, this is so exciting. This
Speaker 1: is the first year in like I don't know a
Speaker 1: decade when I don't have to lose anyway. Look great,
Speaker 1: thank you, so wonderful. Um. Also, I am going to
Speaker 1: speaking of three. I got a lot of tour dates. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna read some of them to you. Nyack, New York,
Speaker 1: come doing Levity Live February two, to fourth, Winnipeg, Canada
Speaker 1: Rumors February ninth through the eleventh, New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada,
Speaker 1: House of Comedy, March sixteenth through the eighteenth, Dallas, Texas
Speaker 1: March through Boston, Massachusetts, April fourteenth and fifte Edmonton, Canada
Speaker 1: April through and Detroit, Michigan House of Comedy April and
Speaker 1: twenty nine. I have a couple other dates later in
Speaker 1: the your brother too far away, so I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: read them, all right. And then for me, obviously, we
Speaker 1: have the big New Year's Eve show, which I'm sure
Speaker 1: you're jazz about coming to. After I just told you
Speaker 1: how much I hate stand up. I know, I was like,
Speaker 1: I can just I just can hear my my agents
Speaker 1: listening to this going fucking Curran, you cannot be managed. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I'm I am excited to do the New Yet
Speaker 1: show because it's with all my friends and so you know,
Speaker 1: you know, and like listen, the one thing about me
Speaker 1: is I can always pull it together and and and
Speaker 1: show up when it comes to showtime. You know, I'm
Speaker 1: very much and I was raised on and he gets
Speaker 1: your gun even before I was myself a performer there's
Speaker 1: no business like show business, you know, even when they
Speaker 1: told you that your fucking dad died at noon or
Speaker 1: what of the lyrics are? You show up and completely
Speaker 1: unhealthy style. But I will always show up and I
Speaker 1: will always, um do my best or close enough that
Speaker 1: you wouldn't notice. Um. And so that is six pm
Speaker 1: on New Year's Eve, which is Saturday, December thirty. First,
Speaker 1: if you're not aware, at the New York Comedy Club
Speaker 1: East Village eight five East fourth Street, it's me, It's
Speaker 1: Christina Hutchinson, It's Chloe Lebranch, Maddie Smith, Ryan long love
Speaker 1: for and I think Danny Polish Chuck is also going
Speaker 1: to be there. Um, so that's great. And then after that,
Speaker 1: I was not sure if this was going to happen.
Speaker 1: We were having some problems with the liquor license, but
Speaker 1: we got the liquor license for the event. And so
Speaker 1: my friend Ronnie Lord I and I fellow fellow Jersey,
Speaker 1: fellow Jersey, and his mom you know, is from Union,
Speaker 1: so we're very she's yeah, his mom is from Union. Um,
Speaker 1: we are co producing a huge New Year's Eve party. Uh,
Speaker 1: And it was just it happened kind of very serendipitous
Speaker 1: lee because you know, in this existential crisis, I was
Speaker 1: thinking of things that bring me joy. And I do
Speaker 1: love throwing parties, but I'm just like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: just since my dad got like I don't really like
Speaker 1: people in my home anymore. Um and so I uh.
Speaker 1: And so Ronnie, like out of nowhere, we had the
Speaker 1: dog part together and he was just like, I have
Speaker 1: this venue, Um, I want to throw like a sick party.
Speaker 1: I threw a smaller one last year. Would you want
Speaker 1: to go in on it with me? And like I'm saying,
Speaker 1: like we're putting out serious cash to you know, to
Speaker 1: do this, um and uh, I said, fuck yeah, it's
Speaker 1: like you read my mind. Um. So yeah, it's it's
Speaker 1: at uh it's called the Firehouse at Engine thirty one.
Speaker 1: It's eighty seven Lafayette Street. It is an old firehouse
Speaker 1: that they have repurposed into a party venue. Um. It
Speaker 1: starts at ten pm and it goes to to thirty am.
Speaker 1: There is a small comedy show at the beginning of that,
Speaker 1: because Ronnie runs a really popular show called Barbershops a catch. Um.
Speaker 1: I know. I tried to talk him out of the
Speaker 1: comedy thing, and he goes no, but the barbershop people
Speaker 1: love it. I go, okay, whatever. I mean, I'll be
Speaker 1: performing on that one too because I have my names
Speaker 1: on it, so I got to but that'll be quick.
Speaker 1: And then there's another room if you don't want to
Speaker 1: listen to the comedy honestly, where you can just start drinking. UM.
Speaker 1: But it's a really cool venue and the theme is interstellar,
Speaker 1: so it's like, you know, space themed. It'll be really fun.
Speaker 1: The one who fought for a theme, I was like,
Speaker 1: we got to do with um and uh, tickets are
Speaker 1: on an event bright and you can get them through
Speaker 1: the link tree link in my bio. It's you know,
Speaker 1: very easy, but it's a hundred dollars and it's all
Speaker 1: you can drink, open bar all night, UM plus d J.
Speaker 1: Two rooms. Really cool. I'll be there, all the friends
Speaker 1: will be there. Yeah, we tried to keep it like
Speaker 1: you know where we're not like losing money. But this
Speaker 1: is not like we're not doing this as like a
Speaker 1: big money making venture for us. We're just doing it
Speaker 1: because like we wanted to throw a kick gas party
Speaker 1: and then we'll see where that leads us. Um. But yeah,
Speaker 1: those are two events and then going into uh some
Speaker 1: limited tour dates for three um, just because I have
Speaker 1: to get a gauge of some stuff for some other
Speaker 1: stuff basically, So I'll be going to Austin, Texas Friday
Speaker 1: February tenth. That's one show only at the Vulcan Gas Company, Houston,
Speaker 1: Texas at Rockefellas. That's uh February eleventh, that which is
Speaker 1: a Saturday. There's two shows that night, and then Toronto, Canada.
Speaker 1: I haven't been to you in a while, so I'm
Speaker 1: coming back Friday February seventeenth and Saturday February eighteenth, that
Speaker 1: comedy Bar. All those ticket links are up at krin
Speaker 1: Fisher dot com. Also in the link tree link in
Speaker 1: my bile for all those the New Year's shows. Everything everything,
Speaker 1: everything is up. Um. So yeah, and then we'll and
Speaker 1: then we'll take it from there and I'll find out something, um,
Speaker 1: you know, extra to do with my life. But you know,
Speaker 1: I'll see you on the podcast. I'm sure. Yeah, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: So without further ado, And there was a lot of
Speaker 1: a do there was there was an about a lot
Speaker 1: of ship I would say, there was an access of
Speaker 1: a Yeah. Well now you're gonna get more do Uh,
Speaker 1: this episode an email episode, and if you're a Luminary subscriber,
Speaker 1: you're hearing this a week earlier. We appreciate you, Thank
Speaker 1: you very much. This is not the last episode for
Speaker 1: you technically between twenty two, but you can get started
Speaker 1: on your New year earlier. What that's what your subscription
Speaker 1: got you. Absolutely And one of the things that we
Speaker 1: do on Luminarias we do a certain number of bonus
Speaker 1: episodes per year, and all those bonus episodes are emails,
Speaker 1: are email episodes where we we have a magical inbox.
Speaker 1: Sorry about last night show at gmail dot com. Uh,
Speaker 1: keep your stories and questions coming, um, but we're doing
Speaker 1: basically the format of a bonus episode that we would
Speaker 1: usually do for Luminary. For this New Year episode, we're
Speaker 1: going to read some of your emails. Yeah, enjoy the show.
Speaker 1: Happy New Year, Happy New Year, Happy New Year. Mike
Speaker 1: was smiling. We're not. We're not filing click with your talk.
Speaker 1: It's Christmas morning, so it's top for me and come
Speaker 1: and you better getting tips because I'm on the naughty list.
Speaker 1: This is Claus. Won't let's stand and near these kid out.
Speaker 1: My not pussy left the way. I'll be your guide
Speaker 1: all through this leg got dick dash in. They're dancy
Speaker 1: and pants prancing, and I'm a big saying, let's I'll
Speaker 1: get that Christmas tree. Y'all didn't line up the we
Speaker 1: didn't think Ah, Papa pass, Papa Pop, shake your ass,
Speaker 1: Papa pomp, Captain Morgan, wrong, the wrong pumpa Okay, fuckers.
Speaker 1: So for the first episode of We're gonna read some
Speaker 1: emails from you from from our listeners. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for writing us and telling us all of your thoughts. Um.
Speaker 1: Some of them are welcome. Some of them I could
Speaker 1: do without, but you know what, I'm glad you reached out.
Speaker 1: This first subject line is the law fire on trial. Hey,
Speaker 1: ladies and Mike, I have to tell you about my
Speaker 1: most recent dating experience. I feel they just keep getting worse.
Speaker 1: Buckle up, girl, and I'm not actively looking for a partner.
Speaker 1: But if I meet someone out in the wild, not online,
Speaker 1: and I'm attracted to them, I will go on a date.
Speaker 1: I'm a forty year old successful business owner, female, attractive
Speaker 1: and smart at least I think so. A week ago,
Speaker 1: I met a guy at the park while playing co
Speaker 1: ed volleyball. Look at getting out there and volleyball. What
Speaker 1: a what a good sport. We started talking because he
Speaker 1: was in the same industry as me, both financial advisors,
Speaker 1: and we had some things in common. He asked me
Speaker 1: out after our game and exchanged social media accounts Facebook
Speaker 1: because we are old first date. That's a lie also,
Speaker 1: and I've believed in my whole life. But i just
Speaker 1: gotta be like, it's forty is like not old at all.
Speaker 1: It's really I was looking at old of myself and
Speaker 1: I was like, I look better every year. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like ridiculous, Like it's just not old at all.
Speaker 1: I don't feel old at all. It's not old. But
Speaker 1: what happens is you a out of like what like hip?
Speaker 1: There's a different you don't think so, no, you don't have.
Speaker 1: You don't have, you don't have. Many people do effort
Speaker 1: to age out of hip. Maybe many people do. But
Speaker 1: I was like, I that's why I'm on TikTok all
Speaker 1: the time. I'm not even joking. You know. I know
Speaker 1: all the all those songs. I know all the things
Speaker 1: that kids are doing. I know that the kids are
Speaker 1: in the k holes. I know everything. I know everything.
Speaker 1: Or also, you have to as a stand up because
Speaker 1: you got to be in touch. I'm performing for people
Speaker 1: who are like in their fucking early twenties, Like I
Speaker 1: have to reference things that they know about as we
Speaker 1: gotta keep up. Yeah, dead ass um. First date a
Speaker 1: couple of days later went well, hung out for a
Speaker 1: few hours, got good deep conversations, laughed and had sexual chemistry.
Speaker 1: No sex, just a lot of making out sessions and
Speaker 1: growth nice. Those are my favorite. We talked on the
Speaker 1: phone morning and night when not at work. A little
Speaker 1: could depend anybody, okay, and went on a couple more
Speaker 1: dates that week. Once he made me dinner and another
Speaker 1: I helped him with one of his rentals that he
Speaker 1: that was being refurbished. Okay, this sounds kind of fun.
Speaker 1: He told me on several different occasions that he was
Speaker 1: meeting with clients downtown and that he was working on
Speaker 1: a deal with them to save taxes and investing in
Speaker 1: business ventures. This required meeting with their accountant as well,
Speaker 1: who he said was inept. The next day, he told
Speaker 1: me that these clients decided to hire him to do
Speaker 1: all the work and he would be paid four times
Speaker 1: his normal was a lot. He really wanted me to
Speaker 1: be impressed by him, which I wasn't I was. He
Speaker 1: sent me a picture of his office. The views the
Speaker 1: view prevaces. The view was the building across the street
Speaker 1: from him. My brain immediately thought he was at the
Speaker 1: courthouse as I recognized the architecture. Oh ship girl. I
Speaker 1: decided to do a background check on him and found
Speaker 1: several years of judgments against him and civil suits filed
Speaker 1: against him, his businesses, and another woman with the same
Speaker 1: last name as him, his wife. I also found that
Speaker 1: he is currently on trial for fraud. You're looking into that, girl.
Speaker 1: I would have been like, that's the fairy tale um.
Speaker 1: He's currently on trial for fraud and theft and reports
Speaker 1: to court every day at ten thirty am, which is downtown. Okay.
Speaker 1: I will say, though, like all the things that he's
Speaker 1: getting in trouble for is financial, and so it doesn't
Speaker 1: really affect you in these early stages. I mean, yes,
Speaker 1: obviously like don't pursue a relationship with him. But I
Speaker 1: was like, you know, there's so many times when you
Speaker 1: do that and it's like raper murder, So right, you know,
Speaker 1: I understand, how bar how the bar is? I understand,
Speaker 1: But I'm just saying, you could suck a guy who's
Speaker 1: guilty of fraud. Also in business, I think a lot
Speaker 1: this stuff people end up in if they're like serious
Speaker 1: business people, they end up in court a lot for
Speaker 1: stuff like this. Yeah. Yeah. Also, I guess maybe perhaps
Speaker 1: because she's a financial advisor, she cares more about fucking
Speaker 1: a guy who's committed fraud. But have you got to
Speaker 1: go t can you committed fraud? Let me know, because
Speaker 1: I don't care about she would a guy who's not
Speaker 1: good at comedy but tries that comedy like, you know,
Speaker 1: I've done that too, But you know, I just I yeah,
Speaker 1: I just can't be walking like rapists or murder right.
Speaker 1: That's a good uh, that's those are good bumpers for
Speaker 1: the bowling ball lan That is your life. I was
Speaker 1: supposed to meet up with him that night, and when
Speaker 1: he called me, I asked how court was today? Damn,
Speaker 1: that's sick that he was silence. He asked me to
Speaker 1: repeat myself, which I did. Then he asked me to
Speaker 1: hold on for a minute. He came back on the
Speaker 1: phone some moments later and played it off like no
Speaker 1: big deal. I told him I couldn't hang out with him,
Speaker 1: but did not say why. I think he pieced it
Speaker 1: together and you know what, let him piece it together,
Speaker 1: don't give it to him. The next day, I decided
Speaker 1: to look up all the real estate in his name.
Speaker 1: This is fun. He began transferring the deeds to properties
Speaker 1: into the ladies name that showed up earlier in the
Speaker 1: court records. Then I found proof that he's still married
Speaker 1: to her and they have been married for years. This
Speaker 1: man only speaks and breathes lies. That's why I think
Speaker 1: it's so good. Yeah, socks, there were there were many more,
Speaker 1: but I won't bore you with them all. This man
Speaker 1: is also about to go to prison for fraud, and
Speaker 1: his wife maybe going down with him. That's kind of hot.
Speaker 1: You suck a bad boy band? Boy, girl, well you
Speaker 1: got growed by a bad boy made out with the band.
Speaker 1: Oh that's right. You didn't even fun. Oh I definitely
Speaker 1: tried fun before he goes off to prison for a while.
Speaker 1: Good fucking. But she can't because she's not my wife.
Speaker 1: Married that contragal get visits or only for you have
Speaker 1: to be legal spouses. That's why so many people get
Speaker 1: married within when they're in prison. Likes so they could fuck.
Speaker 1: It's like being it's like being Catholic. Ramish. You know,
Speaker 1: you get married, he can suck. I know too much
Speaker 1: about prison Roman. It's apparently we just found out in
Speaker 1: that segment as a woman ever been in prison and
Speaker 1: then got a boyfriend? I'm sure. I mean I haven't
Speaker 1: heard about it. What's not Blake Lively the other one
Speaker 1: from Gossip Girl? And yeah, she was born in prison.
Speaker 1: Her mom was in prison when she was her. That's
Speaker 1: just fun, a little fun trivia. She's so hot. Thank you? Okay,
Speaker 1: so good fucking ridden. My my picker is so broken girl. No,
Speaker 1: it's not. You did your research. You found out, and
Speaker 1: you found out things that made you know, want to proceed.
Speaker 1: Also like fraud, like the things that he has been
Speaker 1: is guilty of. Like I wouldn't say like make you
Speaker 1: like a bad person. It's just like a little shady.
Speaker 1: You know, it's pretty shady. I mean you know it's
Speaker 1: it's not partner material, you know, especially for you. You You
Speaker 1: value these things. Um, but then your last time, My
Speaker 1: picker is so broken. I'm going to crawl back into
Speaker 1: my hole and continue to be a badass woman without
Speaker 1: a man to ruin my party. Thank you, ladies for
Speaker 1: listening to my dating nightmare. Loyal fucker. I'm glad you
Speaker 1: told us the story because it doesn't friendly remind her
Speaker 1: to look people up. But also, don't let this fraudulent
Speaker 1: dickhead ruin. You know, if some guy asked you out
Speaker 1: again at another place and you are attracted to him
Speaker 1: and say yes, you know, we're gonna get heartbroken until
Speaker 1: the day we die. We'll get disappointed by people. Don't
Speaker 1: be afraid of that. Just get new experiences and keep
Speaker 1: in mind if you're, you know, in a park, maybe
Speaker 1: you're not going to meet people who have a lot
Speaker 1: of money. True. And I was just gonna say, the
Speaker 1: world is full of frauds. We're gon we're all frauds
Speaker 1: in somewhere. I'd rather meet someone who was a financial
Speaker 1: fraud than like a personality fraud. Yeah yeah right. And
Speaker 1: then also for this, it's like, okay, so listen, I
Speaker 1: love being a Debbie Downer. I think it's truly hilarious.
Speaker 1: But um, you know, for this, it's just like okay,
Speaker 1: you know, all of a sudden, like you know, you
Speaker 1: date one guy who committed fraud and possibly is still
Speaker 1: married to his ex wife, and and they like, my
Speaker 1: pick er is broken. It's not I don't think so.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think we just live in a society
Speaker 1: with a lot of dirty, rotten scoundrel That's exactly right.
Speaker 1: So please don't let this story ruin the next person
Speaker 1: who asked you out, say yes, if you feel, if
Speaker 1: you feel it in your bones and your body, go
Speaker 1: for it. Yea. And also, if you have money, you
Speaker 1: can actually pay for those reports that I always look
Speaker 1: up and then go is this really the person paid
Speaker 1: for one? Yeah? I haven't gotten that low. But man,
Speaker 1: like forty what are you? But I mean it's it's
Speaker 1: not so much the money, it's that I then it's
Speaker 1: a Then I opened up this rabbit hole for myself,
Speaker 1: right right right, you're invested a personal disl It's like
Speaker 1: do I need to know all this about these people? Right? Well?
Speaker 1: I like the ignorance is bliss the track, but that
Speaker 1: you know some things like if I was dating a frall,
Speaker 1: if I if I just met a guy and he
Speaker 1: did all this, I would want to know because I
Speaker 1: wouldn't want to I want to back, Well, ignorance is
Speaker 1: bliss and till he's going to jail. Still, it's all
Speaker 1: your money, you know. It's like for a period of time, Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right on the topic of how much women do
Speaker 1: for men, only to get a cautionary tail in return. Hi,
Speaker 1: Corean and Christina love you to the most. Uh sorry, Mike. Um.
Speaker 1: Also just heads up currency R O R I N
Speaker 1: N E. Just no one'll ever spell it right. It's
Speaker 1: just like truly and I love my name so much.
Speaker 1: I think it's such a pretty name. But it looks
Speaker 1: like garbage that way. Yeah, it looks like sorry to
Speaker 1: Currence spell it that way. I thought your parents a mistake,
Speaker 1: ums minded as I am listening to your newest episode
Speaker 1: and Coren touched on the Lewis Capaldi lyrics. For those
Speaker 1: of you who I don't remember this episode, the song
Speaker 1: is called Pointless and it's about Louis Capaldi bringing his
Speaker 1: girlfriend coffee in the morning and then her bringing him
Speaker 1: in her peace, which you know, don't level really up, um,
Speaker 1: it reminds me of this story. A couple of details
Speaker 1: for contacts. Back in I started seeing guy that I
Speaker 1: met on Tinder. I was spending this summer living at
Speaker 1: my parents cabin and thought it would be fun to
Speaker 1: have a summer fling. Honestly, I knew right away that
Speaker 1: this guy was not going to be long term for
Speaker 1: many reasons. That's that's for me. Is like so nice,
Speaker 1: though You're like, I don't have to relax their leave
Speaker 1: the booker in your nose. Yeah, but unless you're with Mike,
Speaker 1: apparently kick you out, hair boy. But he was good
Speaker 1: in bed, and I liked going on adventures with him
Speaker 1: and my dog in the mountains. He was very religious
Speaker 1: and I am not, which led to some interesting discussions
Speaker 1: and us mostly just agreeing to disagree in a very
Speaker 1: civil manner. I had never dated someone who was religious before,
Speaker 1: but I thought the reason I don't date religio people
Speaker 1: is because they judge people. So how am I better
Speaker 1: if I judge people for being religious? Look at you
Speaker 1: using learning and growing. Look at that listeners smart um. However,
Speaker 1: he held some wild beliefs, like believing the earth is
Speaker 1: only ten thousand years old. I didn't mean to laugh.
Speaker 1: That was funny. People believe that's fair to people believe that.
Speaker 1: I didn't even know that was a rum. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think that's got to be like a Christian thing, right. Well,
Speaker 1: my trainer just revealed to me after years of working together,
Speaker 1: this week that he doesn't believe in evolution and actually
Speaker 1: scoffed at the at the concept. So I was in
Speaker 1: a biology class in college with a kid who didn't
Speaker 1: believe in evolutionary It was in a science class, the
Speaker 1: kid who was trying to be a doctor, who didn't
Speaker 1: I mean, I mean, when people don't believe in evolution,
Speaker 1: I go, have you ever been to a zoo? Yeah? Like,
Speaker 1: I mean, you know those horses that are half horse
Speaker 1: have zebra I mean there you go right there, well,
Speaker 1: like literally in the middle of evolution. But like when
Speaker 1: you look at a monkey you can see yeah, right,
Speaker 1: it's like it's us clear. I just don't know what
Speaker 1: was it called, not caveman but Neanderthals. Neanderthals. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: you see like the progression. Yeah, it's wild. That's so funny. Yeah. Okay,
Speaker 1: So he was anti choice, etcetera. I am so embarrassed
Speaker 1: to admit that I was with a person with such backluds. Girl,
Speaker 1: he went with, you weren't have sex? Yeah, if we didn't,
Speaker 1: if you didn't, like, we waited to fund people until
Speaker 1: like they none of them had dumb ideas that we
Speaker 1: would never have sex. And that's what I've been doing
Speaker 1: this year. You could hold your to your own Vagini
Speaker 1: your crickets. Yeah, it's like a seashell, which is silence
Speaker 1: for decades. He was also very weird about sex. Oh,
Speaker 1: you don't say a religious person weird about sex. Uh.
Speaker 1: We had a lot of good sex. However, he always
Speaker 1: shamed himself after, but it was good. So cool. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, oh man, this is fucking hilarious. I wonder
Speaker 1: if it was like the guy that I sucked and
Speaker 1: then hit himself, because right, I remember that that's from
Speaker 1: like that's vintage Guys with Idiots. Yeah, yeah, that person
Speaker 1: is kind of famous. Um. He told me that he
Speaker 1: would visit his pastor and confess that he was having
Speaker 1: premarital sex. Okay, but then he would keep initiating sex.
Speaker 1: Who was a bad boy, We would keep having bad
Speaker 1: a bad boys episode. We should we should re sing
Speaker 1: that cosmos. I'm just gonna do. What's you gonna do
Speaker 1: when they come in you? Yes, that's great. That's a
Speaker 1: good one. That's copyrighted. I got right now, so funk
Speaker 1: all y'all. Yeah, that's well, it's parody also, so I
Speaker 1: don't think I can say anything. We're covered by parody
Speaker 1: there um, and you have thirty seconds of song to
Speaker 1: sing anyway, But then he would keep initiating sex, we
Speaker 1: would keep having good sex, and I just thought this
Speaker 1: was something he needed to work out with him. You
Speaker 1: are absolutely correct, girl. I encouraged him to talk openly
Speaker 1: about sex. Look how much Look how much maintenance women
Speaker 1: do even in just fuss. Some were fling. Yeah. Um,
Speaker 1: but you're leaving him better than you found him, that's
Speaker 1: for damn sure. Yeah that other girl um and explained
Speaker 1: that if it's between two consenting adults, it's just a
Speaker 1: super fun thing to do. There were a couple of
Speaker 1: times where he low key shamed me for the amount
Speaker 1: of sexual partners I had. Well, you shouldn't have told him.
Speaker 1: Once he said the earth was ten years old. You
Speaker 1: should have been like, I've never had six. Um again,
Speaker 1: such a red flag that I wrote it, Um, that
Speaker 1: I wrote off as a hymn problem, not a me problem.
Speaker 1: If I had to guess what my rationale for staying
Speaker 1: with him at this time, I would say that I thought,
Speaker 1: because we had open dialogue, by our differences, that we
Speaker 1: would both grow as people. Also, a guy like that
Speaker 1: is just interesting to me. I would be very curious
Speaker 1: about a man like that, Like if the sex was good.
Speaker 1: I'd be like, what makes you tick? How were you raised?
Speaker 1: What do you do for fun? Like? I have more questions.
Speaker 1: I've asked most people I've for six months, I'll ask
Speaker 1: a stranger. I just made those questions. Yeah, yeah, fall approached.
Speaker 1: He wanted to keep things going, all right, so this
Speaker 1: is where you sunk up. And I was twenty five
Speaker 1: and lonely. So we continued our relationship and lonely what
Speaker 1: a theme for Instagram this weekend? Um? That was personal? Um?
Speaker 1: I h that was a person on one but I
Speaker 1: need to bring it in. Um. I had moved three
Speaker 1: provinces away from where I met him as I was
Speaker 1: starting another degree program. I was lonely in a new city.
Speaker 1: So honestly, it was just nice to have someone to
Speaker 1: talk to. Should have just hired a therapist, let's be honest.
Speaker 1: As we continued long distance, we continued to have good
Speaker 1: conversation and sex regularly. At this point it was decided
Speaker 1: that we were exclusive. Wait, okay, you're looking at the
Speaker 1: cliff and you're going, oh, see what happens? Maybe I
Speaker 1: Carl float like j J bang bang. Oh that's not
Speaker 1: how it works exclusive. About a month later, I got
Speaker 1: a message from a gran and here go, he's fucking
Speaker 1: multiple people and calling you a whole. About a month later,
Speaker 1: I got a message from a girl on Instagram asking
Speaker 1: if he was my boyfriend. I confirmed that he was.
Speaker 1: She then saw the screenshots of his new Tinder profile
Speaker 1: and the messages that he had been exchanging with her.
Speaker 1: A couple of things. He used a picture of my
Speaker 1: dog that's all caps that I took as his main picture.
Speaker 1: That's sucked up. That's what penalty. Run away from this
Speaker 1: manag fucked up, burned down his house. Don't chad that.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. In the messages I saw that the
Speaker 1: woman asked about his dog, to which he replied, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was my dog, but he was hold and we
Speaker 1: had to put him down. Oh you dar boy savage.
Speaker 1: He sent her multiple dick pictures and was sexting her constantly.
Speaker 1: Some Christian. That's well, that's what sexual repression does, man,
Speaker 1: That's what it does a Christian. Um. He was very
Speaker 1: explicit and almost vulgar in the way that he was
Speaker 1: messaging her. Yeah, they had plans to meet up that weekend.
Speaker 1: It was early in the morning when she sent me this,
Speaker 1: and then he texted me to say good morning. He
Speaker 1: also texted this girl, who sent me a screenshot of
Speaker 1: what he sent her, probably Instagram. He probably men are
Speaker 1: fucking not good at cheating. Get better here, um, which
Speaker 1: was the exact same good When people say do better,
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, do better at cheating. You're going to
Speaker 1: do it anyway. At least have the dignity to hide
Speaker 1: it from me. Yeah, at least like try which was
Speaker 1: the exact same good morning message. But what did it
Speaker 1: both say? Good morning? Good morning beautiful? Um? I sent
Speaker 1: him one of his own dick pictures as a reply,
Speaker 1: one that he had sent to the other woman. Not
Speaker 1: very nice. Fuck. Yeah. Anyways, we broke up then and there, obviously,
Speaker 1: but that didn't stop him from trying to explain him. Yes,
Speaker 1: explain yourself. But let's hear it, let's hear dig your hole,
Speaker 1: dig your hole. This was his explanation. He told me
Speaker 1: that I made him feel so good and calm. Fine,
Speaker 1: did you did? You did all that stuff? You pumped
Speaker 1: him up, you fluffed his feathers. You really did? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: damn wow. I mean I need some femines a degree
Speaker 1: at this point. You helped him and then he cheated
Speaker 1: on you because he didn't want to leave you because
Speaker 1: you helped him what a bitch life can behind. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what they you. We build men up so that
Speaker 1: they can go fun better um hotter chicks and then
Speaker 1: or sometimes not. Um okay, So this was He told
Speaker 1: me that he made him feel so good and confident
Speaker 1: in himself and in his sexuality that he felt like
Speaker 1: he was on top of the world. So just drot
Speaker 1: down your mistakes here, um h and could do anything
Speaker 1: or anyone. Yeah. He explained that I had helped him
Speaker 1: become comfortable with being sexual, which led him to seek
Speaker 1: out other women. So basically I was to blame for
Speaker 1: him cheating on me because I made him feel too
Speaker 1: good and too confident. And I'm I'm going to take
Speaker 1: his side on this one. Actually he's correct, so wild.
Speaker 1: I know the breakup was bound to happen, but his
Speaker 1: reasoning for cheating has always stuck with me on a stlee.
Speaker 1: I was more mad that he used the picture of
Speaker 1: my dog and as you and your dog. Yeah, uh,
Speaker 1: of my dog and said my dog was dead than
Speaker 1: the actual cheating. Yeah, that was sucked up. Do not
Speaker 1: bring my dog into your lives, sir. Again, I agree. Also,
Speaker 1: the low key sexual shaming of me. But then he
Speaker 1: goes out and does this of course. Well, I mean
Speaker 1: anytime someone shames you about something like that, it's a
Speaker 1: reflection of themselves. They're shaming themselves for the things that
Speaker 1: they're doing. Yeah, he's just mad because you were just
Speaker 1: like free with your sexuality and having a good time.
Speaker 1: Maybe God was handing out audacity that day, because I
Speaker 1: surely don't know where else he would have found it.
Speaker 1: I am very thankful that the woman messaged me after
Speaker 1: she did. She was worried that he would retaliate and
Speaker 1: post the news that she had sent him before she
Speaker 1: knew about me. I told her that I would help
Speaker 1: her take him to court if he even mentioned this.
Speaker 1: She was the real m v P women helping women
Speaker 1: love it um. Anyways, just in a are example of
Speaker 1: women doing the most for their partners and only getting
Speaker 1: a cautionary tale out of it in return. Thanks again
Speaker 1: for all that you do. I'm a big fan over here.
Speaker 1: You know, there's a lot of instances and I listened
Speaker 1: to a Savage Love Castle bunch where there's the you know,
Speaker 1: usually I guess it's in married couple, So that's why
Speaker 1: there's this discrepancy of like, don't if you're if you
Speaker 1: find out the guy you're seeing is actually as a
Speaker 1: wife or a girlfriend, don't like the advice has been
Speaker 1: given to not tell the woman, but I say, do
Speaker 1: just you know, don't be a cunt about it. Obviously
Speaker 1: it's a super sensitive situation, but like I want to know,
Speaker 1: and I'm so glad that she told her. Well, it depends.
Speaker 1: I mean also because when you're listening to Savage Love
Speaker 1: Cast listening to a gay man's thoughts, and um, heterosexual
Speaker 1: people are are notoriously weirder about cheating. Yeah, we are,
Speaker 1: Like everyone, like everyone in the queer community lasts at
Speaker 1: straight people about how monogamous we are and how weird
Speaker 1: we are about cheating. Yeah, I don't think it's weird,
Speaker 1: but I mean, I am straight, but I'm just kind
Speaker 1: of like I know that to be a percent true, um,
Speaker 1: you know, from from Dan Savage, from my hair stylist,
Speaker 1: I mean true way also to like, if you're in
Speaker 1: a strong marriage and there's you know, it's like one
Speaker 1: of those situations where you do what you gotta do
Speaker 1: to stay saying in the marriage, as he said, as
Speaker 1: Dan says, like that makes sense, like she this girl
Speaker 1: didn't know that like this relationship that she the writer
Speaker 1: had with this ship, it wasn't there wasn't a lot
Speaker 1: of depth. There wasn't a lot of like sole connection.
Speaker 1: This also seems a lot more innocent to me because
Speaker 1: I think like the woman um who met him on
Speaker 1: the app was kind of just like actually interested in
Speaker 1: dating him and then went to the Instagram was like,
Speaker 1: what it looks like this guy has a girlfriend, and
Speaker 1: I guess she was like I guess she was like
Speaker 1: in a messaging kind of being like either like this
Speaker 1: is his ex girlfriend or you know, because you never
Speaker 1: know with timing or or whatever. So it does seem
Speaker 1: like the way she approached it was a little more innocent.
Speaker 1: I think sometimes people d M you and they're like
Speaker 1: I just like, I've definitely had listeners when when like
Speaker 1: things were going on behind the scenes that I hadn't
Speaker 1: discussed in real I'm on the podcast or something, be
Speaker 1: like I saw some and so on a dating and
Speaker 1: I was like, I know, I was like, we're working
Speaker 1: through things. Relax yourself, everyone, everyone relaxed. Because the one
Speaker 1: thing about me is maybe I'll find out late, but
Speaker 1: I'm always gonna find out. I know about every single
Speaker 1: boyfriend I've had and who has messaged them, and it's
Speaker 1: been every single one I've talked about on this podcast,
Speaker 1: and I know about them all, and I will come
Speaker 1: for you one day soon. That's not a threat chat.
Speaker 1: That was like a fun I'm gonna come for them
Speaker 1: for you. I'm gonna come with them with the back basket.
Speaker 1: It's fine. Honestly, I should just let it happen and
Speaker 1: then be like, oh, you thought I was fucking lying
Speaker 1: about all the stories I told on the podcast. Enjoy
Speaker 1: all right, do you have anything to add you of that? Now?
Speaker 1: They would just be more threats that probably will have
Speaker 1: to end, alright. Continuing on with this band boy theme
Speaker 1: the next subject line, but to know the guy I
Speaker 1: was seeing as he was meeting someone else, please help
Speaker 1: to be honest. I'm high as fun and c b
Speaker 1: A with an intro just no, I adore you all.
Speaker 1: What's cb A Karina? Oh god, that's the one. I
Speaker 1: don't know what are the kids doing these days? For
Speaker 1: collective bargaining agreement? Got to do cb A Urban dictionary,
Speaker 1: collective bargaining and collective bargaining Agreement. I wanted to let
Speaker 1: you guys can't be bothered. Okay, can't be bothered. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's because she's from the UK, that's why. Because I
Speaker 1: was like, Arst is not American, I can't be bothered
Speaker 1: with Okay, it's just a problem. Met a guy on
Speaker 1: Hinge and got along perfectly. He's a sports teacher, sports teacher,
Speaker 1: and I'm I guess, well, is she's in the UK
Speaker 1: so they call it sports. Wow, that's a reach. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I want to move there so bad. And I'm training science.
Speaker 1: I'm training science teacher with both twenty five living in
Speaker 1: the UK. He is ticking all the boxes green flag everywhere,
Speaker 1: and so far we've had three dates consisting of going
Speaker 1: for Thai food drinks in town and we fucked on
Speaker 1: two occasions, great sex and crazy intimacy, and he begs
Speaker 1: to know what I like. Oh, I'm low key anxious
Speaker 1: as fuck, so ship at communicating during sex apart from
Speaker 1: using my hands to guide him, etcetera. So he asked
Speaker 1: me to journal about it hum and send him a
Speaker 1: pick L O L, which to me was very intimate.
Speaker 1: F y. I my body count is well into its forties,
Speaker 1: so I'd say I'm experienced in how many act during sex. Anyway,
Speaker 1: fourth date was set for him to come to my
Speaker 1: house for the first time and we'd cook with my
Speaker 1: housemate and her boyfriend. The night before him coming over,
Speaker 1: I went to a raid with my friend and on
Speaker 1: the walk home at four thirty am, I see him
Speaker 1: waiting at a lamp post on this so British on
Speaker 1: some random mass street that I'm on, and like, oh,
Speaker 1: my fucking god, automatically thinking he's there for me. Could
Speaker 1: have been creepy, could have been cute, but who knows. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I introduce him to my friend, who obviously knows all
Speaker 1: about him via me, and when I asked him what
Speaker 1: he's up to, he says he doesn't want to say,
Speaker 1: and he was stood up like a fucking puppy lost
Speaker 1: low and behold. I turned my head and see this
Speaker 1: girl approach him who he he was off meeting, and
Speaker 1: clearly it was for sex. L O L. I guess
Speaker 1: what what time did you say? It was? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you ate standing on the street corner to meet for coffee. Anyways,
Speaker 1: I get home at five am and I see he
Speaker 1: texts me through the night jones together. I love hearing
Speaker 1: the morning. Anyways, I get home, I get home at
Speaker 1: five am, and I see he had text me through
Speaker 1: the night to see if I was having a good time.
Speaker 1: He was on a separate night out. Yeah, but you guys,
Speaker 1: you guys aren't exclusive. I just want to point out
Speaker 1: and so he was. So I respond along the lines
Speaker 1: that I'm seeing that situation felt like a slap in
Speaker 1: the face. I asked him to bring my stuff back
Speaker 1: later that day and he agrees, but wants to talk.
Speaker 1: We chat in the car and he's really sorry, etcetera,
Speaker 1: and wants to make it up to me, and quote
Speaker 1: understands how ship it looked and that he doesn't want
Speaker 1: it to reflect him as a person. I collect my stuff.
Speaker 1: I tell him I'm not mad because he can literally
Speaker 1: do what he wants. I was just pissed that I
Speaker 1: saw it. We hugged, Yeah, we hugged. I said goodbye
Speaker 1: and was nice to meet him. But I'm out. But
Speaker 1: dumb fucking me left my phone in his car. As
Speaker 1: I got out, the phone was dead and camouflaged into
Speaker 1: the chair. It was a fucking mission trying to find
Speaker 1: his number to contact him. I ended up going on
Speaker 1: iCloud uh seeing a screenshot of a message he sent
Speaker 1: to me before I saved his number. Then fuck so
Speaker 1: I rang and had to go collect. I see him
Speaker 1: and he's really apologetic and asks if I'd be willing
Speaker 1: to give him a second chance. What do I do?
Speaker 1: I'm so, I'm so, I'm so easy going and not
Speaker 1: mad about him seeing others whilst we aren't exclusive. However,
Speaker 1: it made me realize how much I like this guy.
Speaker 1: Are we go and I don't know if he's out
Speaker 1: to fuck me over? Actually, just a guy who was
Speaker 1: horny one night, I say, a guy who's just fucking horny.
Speaker 1: Let him. I'm so stressed. Please, any advice will do
Speaker 1: because beat brutal, because I love constructive criticism. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you want photos, but I'll send them anyway.
Speaker 1: Thinks about My first constructive criticism is never write an
Speaker 1: email again when you're high. Yeah. This, I'm not going
Speaker 1: to ring out out, but this your type of high
Speaker 1: writing makes the extra was a journey. Yeah, but I'm
Speaker 1: someone who has abandoned min issue. I have all these issues,
Speaker 1: but I see this pretty clearly. You weren't exclusive yet
Speaker 1: he was getting to know you, and a lot of
Speaker 1: times before you like if you're headed towards exclusiveness. There's
Speaker 1: a part of like I think men and women where
Speaker 1: you're like, let me just get as many fox as
Speaker 1: I can in here before I like settle down with
Speaker 1: the old lady. Um. So maybe he was doing that,
Speaker 1: like and the other thing is he really wanted he
Speaker 1: wants a second chance so bad, which to me says
Speaker 1: maybe he really really likes you. Maybe there's really good chemistry.
Speaker 1: You're kind of upset because you're scared over how much
Speaker 1: you like him. That leads me to believe that you
Speaker 1: could be a perfect match. He didn't do any thing wrong.
Speaker 1: You just happened to see it, and he probably did
Speaker 1: whatever he did because you guys weren't exclusive. And now
Speaker 1: for knowing that, you feel a type of way about it,
Speaker 1: that's probably why he's begging for the second chance, because
Speaker 1: he didn't realize mistake. Let's back it up again. He's
Speaker 1: not trying so harder begging. She left his phone and
Speaker 1: as they and when she went over to get the phone,
Speaker 1: he wanted a second chance. He was like, can I
Speaker 1: have a second chance? I thought she said he was begging.
Speaker 1: Let's please make it accurate. He was really apologeogetic and
Speaker 1: very apologetic. Yeah, so that that's what. He didn't try
Speaker 1: that hard to that. That's my one. No, he could
Speaker 1: have tried harder. But also, yes, the problem the thing
Speaker 1: is here, he did nothing wrong. You just saw something
Speaker 1: that you should probably you should, you weren't meant to see,
Speaker 1: and of course it affected you because you're human and
Speaker 1: you care about this person. So yeah, it seems like
Speaker 1: you're just, um, you're just scared of getting hurt, which
Speaker 1: is like, I mean, that's entering any relationship. You're yes,
Speaker 1: like you could get her, that's what you and you
Speaker 1: most likely will get hurt at one point. Okay, So
Speaker 1: that's that. But I mean you really like this guy,
Speaker 1: so and then like you start getting into like this
Speaker 1: kind of like weird thing about like is he just
Speaker 1: out to funk you over? Guys aren't like out, you know,
Speaker 1: we're up late at night making templates on how to
Speaker 1: funk women over. You know, like they're not having like
Speaker 1: team meetings about it. They're playing up to k and
Speaker 1: looking at porn. Okay, that is what they're doing. And
Speaker 1: to think that they're planning to suck us over is
Speaker 1: actually it's a little egnartical. Yeah, that's that's like narcissism
Speaker 1: on our part. Okay, so just relax. It's fine. No
Speaker 1: one literally did anything wrong, and he actually handled it
Speaker 1: pretty nicely. Yeah, and that's that. Yeah, you're twenty five. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's fine. Everything's okay, It's gonna be okay, I promise you.
Speaker 1: Current you've been going so hard at two K. It's
Speaker 1: it's so funny to me. I know, it's a IDEO
Speaker 1: It's basketball, best basketball video game. Yeah, this one says,
Speaker 1: am I a dumb bitch? On an unconscious level? By
Speaker 1: that question? I was said probably on a conscious one too.
Speaker 1: Hiker and Christina with twenty eight year old woman, And
Speaker 1: I've been listening to you since my early twenties. You
Speaker 1: have truly shaped so much of how I view the world,
Speaker 1: and I am so now I get nervous. We've shaped
Speaker 1: too many people. Perhaps I am so thankful to have
Speaker 1: stumbled across this podcast six years ago. Anyways, I'm writing
Speaker 1: because I need help deciphering some woo woo ship. Okay,
Speaker 1: as I mentioned, I got excited. As I mentioned, I
Speaker 1: am now twenty eight, and I'm in a stable and
Speaker 1: happy relationship with my boyfriend of three years. He's an
Speaker 1: amazing partner. We lived together and we are discussing marriage.
Speaker 1: The problem is I keep having dreams about my ex,
Speaker 1: like dreams that are so vivid they rattle me and
Speaker 1: consume my thoughts for a few days after I have them.
Speaker 1: I dated this X eight years ago. He was my
Speaker 1: first love in high school, boyfriend that I dated for
Speaker 1: five years and broke up within college so we could
Speaker 1: both explore our independence. I had never felt so connected
Speaker 1: to another person. We kept in contact for years after
Speaker 1: our breakup, and he would reach out to me like
Speaker 1: clockwork every six months or so to quote try things
Speaker 1: out again. We would meet up for the weekend, then
Speaker 1: he would say things weren't going to work okay. I
Speaker 1: let this pattern continue for years until I started therapy
Speaker 1: and realized I was attracted to this behavior because of
Speaker 1: the relationship I had with my alcoholic father. Anyways, as
Speaker 1: the years went on, the timing between us contacting each
Speaker 1: other got further and further apart. We live in different
Speaker 1: states and don't have each other on social media. A
Speaker 1: few years ago, I started getting these vivid dreams about him,
Speaker 1: and out of the blue, Uh, then a week or
Speaker 1: so later I would get a text from him. It
Speaker 1: got to the point I was so freaked out. I
Speaker 1: started telling my friends when I had these dreams because
Speaker 1: I knew sooner or later he'd be reaching out. The
Speaker 1: last time we had contact was a year ago, when
Speaker 1: he sent me a clearly drunk text that only said
Speaker 1: I miss you more than anything. I ignored it and
Speaker 1: moved on. Lately, the dreams have randomly started again, and
Speaker 1: now it's to the point I get extremely anxious because
Speaker 1: I am just waiting to hear from him again. How
Speaker 1: can I make these dreams stop? I have blocked his
Speaker 1: number before he finds a way to reach me. Is
Speaker 1: my unconscious trying to tell me something? I feel so
Speaker 1: secure in myself, But then I start questioning if there's
Speaker 1: something I am missing? Am I just still a dumb
Speaker 1: bitch on an unconscious level that likes the attention. I
Speaker 1: appreciate any of your thoughts. It's so easy to convince
Speaker 1: somebody that something might be missing. Yeah, they might be
Speaker 1: missing out on something. Also with dreams, like I think
Speaker 1: you're interpreting these dreams very like surface level when we're
Speaker 1: in reality. Either they're just pieces of your unconscious that
Speaker 1: are collecting while you're sleeping and it means absolutely nothing,
Speaker 1: or it means something different than you're interpreting it as
Speaker 1: you literally have a great relationship with your boyfriend of
Speaker 1: three years. You said, it's healthy you. You've tried for
Speaker 1: years to get back with this guy and it never
Speaker 1: works out. He always you know, ships the bed. It's
Speaker 1: always toxic. He's drunk texting you that the past is
Speaker 1: the past. Done. So yeah. And also my other thought
Speaker 1: is your X could be a metaphor, So these dreams
Speaker 1: are actually about your X. They're about like a part
Speaker 1: of your life. They're about love, they're about lust, they're
Speaker 1: about trust, they're about something else. Because I took a
Speaker 1: I had like a really bizarre, like such a vivid, odd, creepy,
Speaker 1: creepy dream, um not that long ago that I took
Speaker 1: to Anne Marie, and um she was like, oh, it's
Speaker 1: not like with my family members and involved them like
Speaker 1: slowly falling into a pool and dying and I couldn't
Speaker 1: save them or something. But they're like it's She was like, oh,
Speaker 1: a lot of times with dreams like that, it's not
Speaker 1: your actual dad and your actual nephew. You're that's that's
Speaker 1: just parts of you, but they're represented by your family members.
Speaker 1: So it's very possible that whatever's being you know, played
Speaker 1: out in this dream, it's very possible that I could
Speaker 1: have nothing to do with this guy. The problem with
Speaker 1: feminism is it's made us all feel too powerful, and
Speaker 1: now we think we have um get our our wizards.
Speaker 1: Do women feel too powerful in in with I think
Speaker 1: are intuitively yes. And most people I know, men and
Speaker 1: women alike, have absolutely awful intuition. Well that I agree
Speaker 1: for sure, and that that's like one thing. Their ego
Speaker 1: leaks into their intuition too much and they can't separate. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't have a lot of skills. I can't sing,
Speaker 1: I can barely play the violin, but my intuition is sharp,
Speaker 1: and so other people who have who like think that
Speaker 1: they have intuition Like that's why I like, I don't
Speaker 1: even let other people read my taro, because I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 1: you might know how to use the cards, but you'r
Speaker 1: I see the moves you make in real life, and
Speaker 1: your intuition ain't good. So I don't want any of that,
Speaker 1: because because you know, anyone can learn how to play
Speaker 1: with a deck of cards and flop one out and
Speaker 1: then look it up in the book. But it's like
Speaker 1: you have to use your intuition correctly to uh, to
Speaker 1: figure out to interpret what it mean right right. I've
Speaker 1: had some gnarly interpretations that fucked up my whole mindset
Speaker 1: for for like a year. When you get intuitive hits,
Speaker 1: scritt Are they subtle? Yeah, asked, because I had learned
Speaker 1: about because I had to learn. You know a lot
Speaker 1: of times like I'll just like I wouldn't eat before
Speaker 1: like a year or two ago. I wouldn't even have
Speaker 1: noticed it. I would just be like, oh, I'm just oh,
Speaker 1: I just guessed that, right. So yeah, that's one thing
Speaker 1: I learned. And just to every listener out there, just
Speaker 1: f y. I I did that exercise with like with
Speaker 1: a mediumship exercise where you hold the object of somebody
Speaker 1: who's passed away, and uh. And when I read about
Speaker 1: that exercise, they're like, the first thing you think of
Speaker 1: is it and you're gonna swear that it's the next
Speaker 1: thing you think of because that's louder in your head.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, that's really interesting. And I went
Speaker 1: I did the exercise, and I just said the first
Speaker 1: the things that were like easily flowing in and out
Speaker 1: of my brain and then they ended up all being correct,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, that's really interesting. Intuition feels like
Speaker 1: not a big deal, Like it's not this glaring thing
Speaker 1: you know you wanted to be Like, that's so raven vision.
Speaker 1: She's like, escape it. Yeah, but I would love that.
Speaker 1: But it makes sense why a lot of people were
Speaker 1: looked through intuition, because everyone's trying to escape. Everyone's like,
Speaker 1: you know, vibrating too high because of And that's why
Speaker 1: drugs and alcohol can funk up your intuition because it
Speaker 1: keeps you less in touch with yourself, and you have
Speaker 1: to be really in touch with yourself to have access
Speaker 1: to that subtle intuition. And also everyone, um, you know
Speaker 1: I've learned on the show has really bad inner monologue
Speaker 1: that calls themselves stupid all that. Yea, So then obviously
Speaker 1: like you're not going to listen to a stupid person. Um.
Speaker 1: And then also for that email, like, um, I think
Speaker 1: the how she was like wowing everyone that she would
Speaker 1: think of her X and then he would text It's like,
Speaker 1: well people can feel you thinking about them. That's like
Speaker 1: pretty like that's just energy and the universe, Like that's like,
Speaker 1: you know, when you think about someone and then you
Speaker 1: get a text from then three three seconds later. We've
Speaker 1: all had that. Yeh, that's that's just like a common thing.
Speaker 1: So it's like, you know, in a in a way,
Speaker 1: when you spend a lot of time thinking about someone,
Speaker 1: like you're allowing them power over your life. Like I
Speaker 1: do believe in stuff like that. I don't think that that.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's that like crazy woo woo. Be
Speaker 1: conscious of the real estate of your mind, who gets
Speaker 1: it and who doesn't, because you have control over that. Uh.
Speaker 1: Start thinking about your boyfriend. Yeah, and also stop thinking
Speaker 1: even that spicy food late that gives you that fund
Speaker 1: up dreams. Oh yeah, I have heard that. I have
Speaker 1: heard that I don't eat spicy food at all. So
Speaker 1: um okay. Last email, help a new relationship and red Flags.
Speaker 1: Dear Karen and Christina. I've been listening to your podcast
Speaker 1: ever since my sister introduced it to me a few
Speaker 1: years ago. I genuinely love you both, and I appreciate
Speaker 1: your outlooks advice about relationships in life. I'm thirty year
Speaker 1: old woman from New Jersey and I have spent the
Speaker 1: last couple of years focusing on my career and mental health.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say I completely isolated myself from the world,
Speaker 1: but I was definitely going through something and didn't have
Speaker 1: the urge to get back into dating the dating game
Speaker 1: at the time. I have a pretty complicated history of
Speaker 1: physical and psychological abuse in a previous relationship. On top
Speaker 1: of not having the greatest experiences with my past relationships,
Speaker 1: I also struggle with addiction, depression, and anxiety. I've been
Speaker 1: gradually feeling better over period of about seven months. When
Speaker 1: I decided that I wanted to start dating again. I
Speaker 1: ended up dating two guys over the summer that I
Speaker 1: quickly realized weren't right for me. Fast forward to October
Speaker 1: and I ended up meeting my current boyfriend. We'll call
Speaker 1: him Bob. You don't like him. I was happy to
Speaker 1: meet Bob because he was the first man I went
Speaker 1: on a date with who was super vocal about what
Speaker 1: he wanted. We had an instant emotional connection through long conversations,
Speaker 1: shared experiences, and similar hobbies. I enjoyed how often he
Speaker 1: wanted to talk to me and how he made me
Speaker 1: feel when he did. After a little over a month
Speaker 1: of dating, Bob took me to a nice dinner and
Speaker 1: asked me to be his girlfriend. I won't lie. I
Speaker 1: was definitely caught off guard just because it felt kind
Speaker 1: of fast. So I said yes in the moment. So
Speaker 1: I said yes in the moment without really having a
Speaker 1: chance to think it through. The next day, I automatically
Speaker 1: felt like things were moving too fast, but I was
Speaker 1: still conflicted because of my feelings for him. I haven't
Speaker 1: mustered up the courage to express to him how I've
Speaker 1: been feeling. I've aired my concerns about Bob and moving
Speaker 1: too quickly to close friends and family, and I've received
Speaker 1: mixed reviews in response. Girl, But how do you feel
Speaker 1: I'm a people pleaser. I don't know where we're crowdsourcing
Speaker 1: our feelings like that. Yeah, yeah, um people. I used
Speaker 1: to do it a lot. And then I was like,
Speaker 1: wait a second. The more you ask other people how
Speaker 1: you should feel, the less in touch you are with
Speaker 1: how you know, the more confused you would get, I
Speaker 1: would assume, because we're gonna get a varied responses. And
Speaker 1: then or then some people just like know how they
Speaker 1: feel and they're just asking for people to like reinforce
Speaker 1: how they already feel. Or sometimes you just want like
Speaker 1: how would you handle this? Just to see another way
Speaker 1: to handle it. But yeah, I'm a people pleaser and
Speaker 1: empact by nature. And if you couldn't tell from this
Speaker 1: writing of this email and virgo, what does that mean?
Speaker 1: You wrote in English? Stop? Yeah I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: know the stop. But here's where things have gotten really
Speaker 1: tricky for me. I've been too embarrassed to reveal what
Speaker 1: I'm about to to anybody that I know in real life.
Speaker 1: I really need a good therapist. So here it goes.
Speaker 1: Bob doesn't have normal work hours with his current job,
Speaker 1: so his work schedule is constantly changing. I have a
Speaker 1: more traditional work schedule, so oftentimes he will be off
Speaker 1: till after eleven pm on some nights. His work schedule
Speaker 1: is not what concerns me. It's what I've noticed when
Speaker 1: I'd hang out with him after So the last two
Speaker 1: nights he came and stayed over my place after he
Speaker 1: got out of work, and the last two nights when
Speaker 1: he arrived, he greeted me with a kiss, as I
Speaker 1: normally would. I agree, Sorry, I greeted him with a
Speaker 1: kiss as I normally would. I don't want to sound
Speaker 1: dumb or crazy for even saying this or speculating anything
Speaker 1: because Bob and I have had extensive conversations regarding infidelity
Speaker 1: and our views of what we want for our relationship.
Speaker 1: He knows that I can't have have previous partners who
Speaker 1: were unfaithful. He knows that I've had previous partners who
Speaker 1: were unfaithful and said that he did too, Which is
Speaker 1: why I can't understand why the last two times he
Speaker 1: came over, I tasted fish when I kissed him. Why
Speaker 1: maybe he ate literal fish? I know, I'm not certain
Speaker 1: if he just had something fishy for dinner for two
Speaker 1: nights in a row. This is this is a comedic email,
Speaker 1: I'm us I was ready for like guys, I'm secretly
Speaker 1: an alien in the weekends or something? Is twenty one
Speaker 1: year old boy write me an email? What is this? Uh?
Speaker 1: And no, I'm not certain if he just had something
Speaker 1: fishy for dinner for two nights in a row, or
Speaker 1: if I'm just a literal fool. I need help. I
Speaker 1: need help, not with this exact issue, with something bigger.
Speaker 1: How do I even bring this up to him without
Speaker 1: sounding incredibly and don't sorry for the long journey to
Speaker 1: get here? Is that a virgo thing? But there's just
Speaker 1: a lot going on in my brain. Any advice is
Speaker 1: much appreciated. Girl, your brain is being neurotic right now.
Speaker 1: You gotta go for a walk, my god. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: gotta do an activity that makes you not think about
Speaker 1: this in any way, because I want to shake you
Speaker 1: like a snow globe so you can reset. That's that's
Speaker 1: that's nuts. The craziest thing about this email, and I'm
Speaker 1: sorry to call you crazy, but I'm not leading a
Speaker 1: Dunham or lessa Bennett, so I can The craziest thing
Speaker 1: about this fucking email is that you think your boyfriend's
Speaker 1: cheating on you, and that the thing he's doing is
Speaker 1: going pussy eating. Most fucking husbands aren't even eating pussy.
Speaker 1: You think that he's cheating and the first thing he's
Speaker 1: doing is muff diving. That's what you think. That's the
Speaker 1: craziest part to me about this That Bob is cheating
Speaker 1: and he's exclusively cheating through conni lingen. He just might
Speaker 1: have ginger vitis. You might not even need anything the
Speaker 1: less couple of hours, but like you got so pay atten.
Speaker 1: So what the issue here is where your brain goes
Speaker 1: to the point where you're so embarrassed about this that
Speaker 1: you can't tell anybody got to be to accept the
Speaker 1: thoughts in your brain. But here's the thing, is what
Speaker 1: I said with the Michael when I was talking about
Speaker 1: Michael Singer. Just because a thought comes into your brain
Speaker 1: doesn't mean it's valid, doesn't mean it's warrant. It warrants
Speaker 1: your attention less. You're podcasting and just kind of need
Speaker 1: to keep it moving for a decade, I'm sure. But
Speaker 1: just because the thought comes in doesn't mean it's true,
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that it's worth your time. So you got it.
Speaker 1: You're filter, You know you're you're filter. Your filter has
Speaker 1: got to get a little better. Gotta get a little better.
Speaker 1: I would say, journal, you know, just write it down
Speaker 1: and then you can read it back and go okay,
Speaker 1: and just sit with it. You know. You you gotta
Speaker 1: figure out how to how to deal with this on
Speaker 1: on your on your own, these these these thoughts, because
Speaker 1: that's that's I really thought you were about to tell
Speaker 1: me that like, you know, you eat your own poop
Speaker 1: or something like what. Yeah, there was a lot of
Speaker 1: lead up and there was very low reward. And then also,
Speaker 1: I mean, okay, so you you set up your history
Speaker 1: and your history of your abuse, and you were you know,
Speaker 1: you kind of were basically isolated for a little bit
Speaker 1: of a time. And this is your first you know,
Speaker 1: um step into the dating pool again. So I think
Speaker 1: you're nervous. I think you're a little out of practice
Speaker 1: with dating. And I think you're very, very very um
Speaker 1: wary of other people, and understandably so. But like you
Speaker 1: are a very suspect of him every sep along the way.
Speaker 1: And I gotta be honest, nothing he did in any
Speaker 1: in this email was cause for alarm in my opinion,
Speaker 1: And honest, girl, you just gotta chill. You just got
Speaker 1: a chill. Notice your thoughts and stuff, but don't don't
Speaker 1: cling to them like he actually did something really nice,
Speaker 1: Like he waited a month and then took you out
Speaker 1: to a nice dinner and then asked you to be girlfriend.
Speaker 1: A month I think is a very acceptable amount of time,
Speaker 1: um to go for, you know, if you're serious about dating,
Speaker 1: which it seems he is. Uh like he there's just nothing.
Speaker 1: There might be a part of your subconscious too. If
Speaker 1: you were physically and emotionally abused the especially it was
Speaker 1: like the last relationship you had, there might be a
Speaker 1: part of your subconscious that is like vehemently against being
Speaker 1: in the vulnerable position of falling in love again. And
Speaker 1: so your brain that's one of the reasons why your brain,
Speaker 1: you know, the thought of like, wait, he smells like fish?
Speaker 1: Was he eat and pussy? And that's one of the
Speaker 1: reasons why like a like the claw machine, you grab
Speaker 1: it like it's a fucking you know, toy ball. Also,
Speaker 1: vaginas don't smell like fish. I was saying in addition,
Speaker 1: a little bit sexist of your conclusion, but like if
Speaker 1: they don't, I mean, it's just not even an accurate smell. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and that I really think there's a part of it.
Speaker 1: I'm glad you wrote us about this because I feel
Speaker 1: like when you're so up your own ass with like
Speaker 1: I think your your fear, it's hard to get out.
Speaker 1: And so girl, get out. You have permission. He's not
Speaker 1: doing anything wrong, And I think there's I would she
Speaker 1: did you mention that you were in therapy because I
Speaker 1: really do think being abused. She's like, God, I need
Speaker 1: a therapist, Like okay, yeah, you do, definitely do. Because
Speaker 1: there's still part of your subconscious that's it's possible that
Speaker 1: your subconscious is a little scared to fall in love again,
Speaker 1: which makes all the sense in the world. But girl,
Speaker 1: he's not eating pussy before he comes over. And guys
Speaker 1: are dumb and cheating, but they're not gonna eat pussy
Speaker 1: and not do some gum denteine or something. And then
Speaker 1: also I think I think you just need to maybe
Speaker 1: like be really communicative in your relationship and tell him that,
Speaker 1: just be honest with him, be like, listen, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: not really used to this. You know, you know about
Speaker 1: my history. Um, would it be okay with you if
Speaker 1: I was just like at I'm gonna I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: a little overcommunicative. Um, then maybe is like normal or average?
Speaker 1: Because I think you need that kind of support right now,
Speaker 1: because otherwise you're gonna be left to your own devices.
Speaker 1: And then your brain is obviously just gonna make up
Speaker 1: worries about fish pussies. And I don't think that's necessary
Speaker 1: for either one of you. Yeah, and if your pussy
Speaker 1: does smell like fish, see a doctor, see or Duane, Yeah,
Speaker 1: just go ring ring, hey, doc, go to the dog.
Speaker 1: Suspicious smell here, Let's go check it out. Will be
Speaker 1: like okay, alright, you smelly wore, let's go. Or you
Speaker 1: know whatever they say, that's exactly what's gonna happen. Alright, guys, well,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining us. The last episode
Speaker 1: of two. Yeah, how great is the last episode? That's
Speaker 1: the last The last thing we talked about is fishy pussy.
Speaker 1: Yeah really come full circle on myth. Thank you for
Speaker 1: the clarification with feminist here Shiro over there, Michael. Alright, guys,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Be safe on New Year's have
Speaker 1: a great time. This has been at Guys We Funck,
Speaker 1: the anti selecting podcast. We'll talk to you next Friday. Bye, guys.
Speaker 1: We Fact is presented by Luminary, Created and hosted by
Speaker 1: Karn Fisher and Christina Hutchinson. Editing and music coordination by
Speaker 1: Mike Coscarelli. Theme song by Rob Patterson and Jake Cozen
Speaker 1: Suck my wet ass pussy. Christina said to cut that before,
Speaker 1: but now it's in there. Yeah, let's keep it. Who
Speaker 1: cares and hungry? Back to baby Santa, bring me that shot.
Speaker 1: I want to go to the club and make the
Speaker 1: fussy pop ask rock dancing on a bartop. Yes, Santa, Baby,
Speaker 1: I'll even let you watch. Santa cutie, you need more quation.
Speaker 1: Let you eat my milky cookies for some motivation. I'll
Speaker 1: gant you jellies. I'll give you all these sensations. I
Speaker 1: can't live in isolation. I need that immunization. I'll make
Speaker 1: your ho ho another missiles, tell oh ho oh ho,
Speaker 1: Santa Baby, make a snow bring me that shot the
Speaker 1: only home that I got. You don't need no car,
Speaker 1: yea all that we wanted. Think good, all the funness,
Speaker 1: Think of all the hotties that I haven't kissed. Next year,
Speaker 1: I want to be bad, the dirty little slut in
Speaker 1: red plan science to baby. I want to get you
Speaker 1: drunk and make out and power and have my dim
Speaker 1: pulls ees Santa Baby, little vaccine side please sancer, please
Speaker 1: do vaccine on my Christmas list. High f DA or
Speaker 1: people please saying it as get pupicult to let it
Speaker 1: up so that vaccine exists, one has been tested by
Speaker 1: more than the president day please people one of mele
Speaker 1: And I'm saying I'm trying to drop this body and
Speaker 1: jingle jingle jingles the thickness that Christmas. I'm trying to
Speaker 1: find a way to wake up with morning sickness.