Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's charging ninety nine for a
Speaker 1: pay per view event where he takes O. J. Simpson
Speaker 1: out on a Titanic replica into the Bermuda Triangle to
Speaker 1: search for the real killer. Please don't share the door,
Speaker 1: you know that would be a hit. It's Laser Stories,
Speaker 1: the segment where we read weird news stories around the
Speaker 1: glove just like everyone else does, except we have a laser.
Speaker 1: Those other loose lips just don't this first Laser Stories
Speaker 1: out of Portage, Wisconsin. Fire crews were called to a
Speaker 1: dairy plant around nine pm, but when they arrived at
Speaker 1: the scene, they realized they couldn't access the burning building.
Speaker 1: Oh no, into so shocking They were being pushed back
Speaker 1: by a huge one off of melted butter. Where is
Speaker 1: this from the days dat Apparently the fire began inside
Speaker 1: a room at the plant where butter was being stored,
Speaker 1: and it all melted, creating a quote large and creamy
Speaker 1: butter river flowing out from the building. Only a corn
Speaker 1: plant would have exploded in the other issue after not
Speaker 1: being able to access the structure was that the butter
Speaker 1: flowed into a nearby storm drains, clogging them and then
Speaker 1: emptying out into a nearby canal and it hardens in
Speaker 1: the drains. Awfu. It's a good analogy to what happens
Speaker 1: to our hearts. Yeah, totally. So what did authorities do well?
Speaker 1: They basically rounded up all the sandbags and paper towels
Speaker 1: in the entire town. But there was just so much
Speaker 1: of the stuff it was impossible to keep up, and
Speaker 1: after working on it for multiple hours, fires were able
Speaker 1: to extinguish the blaze before it spread throughout the rest
Speaker 1: of the building. Thank god. No one was injured either. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but nobody could unbut their suits, their fingers were too grey. However,
Speaker 1: the Department of Natural Resources has been called in to
Speaker 1: evaluate what to do about the greasy streets and waterways.
Speaker 1: An idea, yeah, I love that stuff. Possibly maybe just
Speaker 1: changed the name to Butterville a tourist attractions on the case,
Speaker 1: you know that would work. This next Laser stories out
Speaker 1: of toy Land. Y, if you bought your kid this
Speaker 1: toy for Christmas, hopefully you gave it a test run. Okay,
Speaker 1: because mom on TikTok posted an angry video after she
Speaker 1: realized a toy her toddler got was telling him inappropriate
Speaker 1: off colored jokes. Oh god, oh no. I always feel
Speaker 1: like the moms are mishearing things. I mean, were they
Speaker 1: really saying it that's true? Well, I'll tell you what
Speaker 1: it said. But this is a fake remote control made
Speaker 1: by a company in Japan called Lindsay Okay, and it's
Speaker 1: a yell. It's a yellow controller with Pinkin' blue buttons,
Speaker 1: and the box says it's for kids three and up.
Speaker 1: But I'm not sure the three year olds are getting
Speaker 1: the punchline here because one of the jokes that this
Speaker 1: remote says was overheard by a kid's great grandmother. The
Speaker 1: recording said, what makes a clip clop clip clop bang sound? What?
Speaker 1: The answer was an amish drive by shooting a children's toy.
Speaker 1: The woman who bought it for her kid apparently went
Speaker 1: through Walmart dot com, but they say it was a
Speaker 1: third party seller listed on their site and they've taken
Speaker 1: it down. Other sites have pulled it as well, including Lowe's,
Speaker 1: Macy's Office Depot, and shop HQ dot com, but the
Speaker 1: Brook and Jeffrey store still has it available Book and
Speaker 1: Jeffrey dot com. Meanwhile, there's a lot of toddlers who
Speaker 1: are going to be opening for Kevin Hart this next
Speaker 1: laser story is out of cold and flu Central. There's
Speaker 1: no cure for the common cold, but there might be
Speaker 1: a cure for the flu. Really and exciting. It involves
Speaker 1: pressing a potato against your foot. You know, when I
Speaker 1: say something like that, it's not science. It's TikTok, of course,
Speaker 1: and there's thousands of people that agree to go No,
Speaker 1: I look into it. Bro. I'm sure they press the
Speaker 1: potato against their foot for seven days and then finally
Speaker 1: Concy the brook was kind of onto it. The woman
Speaker 1: shared her unique flu remedy, and it works like this.
Speaker 1: You take a potato you're cutting in half. Then you
Speaker 1: slice off two small pieces, like flat pieces, press the
Speaker 1: slices against the bottom of your feet and put socks
Speaker 1: over them to keep them in place, and then you
Speaker 1: sleep with them overnight, remove them in the morning. When
Speaker 1: you wake up, you'll notice the potato slices will be
Speaker 1: a quote, disgustingly dark color because the toxins all get removed.
Speaker 1: She insists you're gonna feel much much better, which is
Speaker 1: definitely not just a placebo effect. It is the mysterious
Speaker 1: medicinal power of spuds. Does it work the same if
Speaker 1: you put French fries in your socks. We'll do all
Speaker 1: the tests here. If any of our listeners are accurrently
Speaker 1: sick here this, please stop taking all the medicine right now,
Speaker 1: put potatoes in June feet and report back to us
Speaker 1: because we are curious this. Next days are stories out
Speaker 1: of Feline Frenzy Headquarters, a popular website just released a
Speaker 1: list of the richest pets in the entire world US.
Speaker 1: Here's who's on it. Betty White's Golden Retriever named Pontiac
Speaker 1: is at number five, with its inherited fortune of thirteen
Speaker 1: million dollars. Betty White was an animal lover. My God,
Speaker 1: I wish I was at her animal. Oprah Winfrey's four
Speaker 1: dogs made the list at number four. They each have
Speaker 1: their own trust fund and are set to collectively inherit
Speaker 1: thirty million dollars when Oprah passes outlive Oprah Old. Oprah's
Speaker 1: got really good healthcare for them, I guess. At number
Speaker 1: three is Taylor Swift Scottish fold cat named Olivia Benson.
Speaker 1: She has a net worth of ninety seven million dollars
Speaker 1: seven but she earned hers. Olivia earned it by appearing
Speaker 1: alongside Taylor in various commercials like for direct TV, diet
Speaker 1: coke in at and tea okay. At number two for
Speaker 1: richest pets in the world is Nala Cat at one
Speaker 1: hundred million dollars Daniel. She's famous on Instagram with four
Speaker 1: point four million followers, and she owns her own premium
Speaker 1: cat food brand. Then finally a number one is Gunther
Speaker 1: the sixth at five hundred million dollars. He's the German shepherd.
Speaker 1: His grandfather inherited an eighty million dollar fortune which has
Speaker 1: since grown due to real estate investments. So he's like
Speaker 1: the sixth one, like they just keep passing it from
Speaker 1: dog to dog. He's like a trust fund dog from
Speaker 1: his own grandfather dog. Can you imagine having to pay
Speaker 1: rent in your landlords to dog you to roll up
Speaker 1: your bills and coming in at honorable mention? This guy,
Speaker 1: his shoe collection is valued over seven hundred million dollars.
Speaker 1: Who but wait, if you remove all the soiled ones,
Speaker 1: it's just twenty bucks. So means Laser Stories has come
Speaker 1: to an end for the day. We'll do it again,
Speaker 1: same time. A Monday