Speaker 1: It's a Brook and Jeffrey podcast. Hey, and don't forget
Speaker 1: you can still text in your thoughts, your feelings, your
Speaker 1: opinions to seven eight five nine two. I mean we
Speaker 1: almost always respond that we read them, though, yeah, we
Speaker 1: do read them. Okay, well we'll read them. I can
Speaker 1: guarantee that. Okay, seven eight five nine two, And the
Speaker 1: full show starts right now. I've been doing something wrong
Speaker 1: my entire life, and I just learned about it from
Speaker 1: TikTok of all places, real yea and stuff. What do
Speaker 1: you find out. I know a lot of people say
Speaker 1: TikTok's the new Wikipedia, that anybody can just say anything
Speaker 1: on there and you're supposed to believe it. But Tikipedia.
Speaker 1: I double checked this, Okay, I verified it, I outsourced it,
Speaker 1: I vetted it. This is one hundred percent true. And
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about if you shake it more than
Speaker 1: twice then you're playing with it. That's not true. What
Speaker 1: I just learned. Yeah, there's a motto I'm talking about
Speaker 1: salt shakers at the restaurant. Not true. But what I
Speaker 1: just learned is apparently my whole life, I've been washing
Speaker 1: my hair all wrong. Oh yeah, I really massage twice
Speaker 1: to get actually clean. Alexis apparently knows about this. When
Speaker 1: you're taking a shower, you're supposed to shampoo your hair,
Speaker 1: rinse it all out, then shampoo it all over again
Speaker 1: a second time, and then conditioners. This has been confirmed
Speaker 1: by professional hairspine. I'm saying that big shampoo companies are
Speaker 1: behind this misinformation, trying to get us the first shampoo
Speaker 1: lifts the dirt off of your hair, and the second
Speaker 1: time actually cleans the follicles and leaves it silky. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I have never gone to any hairstylist ever that has
Speaker 1: double watched. We're not talking about people who make moonshine
Speaker 1: in their backyard and dreaming about being on naked and afraid.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about actual civilized people who give a crap
Speaker 1: about how they look. Oh yeah, okay, so I just
Speaker 1: learned this. I was completely blown away. Makes sense. And
Speaker 1: now this is where what's it called rinse lather repeats
Speaker 1: or lather rinse repeat That is an actual saying yeah,
Speaker 1: And it goes to how you're supposed to shampoo your
Speaker 1: rinse again with shampoo. I don't believe it. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: And bepoo is expensive I'm not doubling up on my OA.
Speaker 1: Brook is progrime, pro dirt on this. So of course
Speaker 1: this is going to make my nights even longer because
Speaker 1: I have to apply it to my dog, Bagel. He
Speaker 1: needs luxurious. He's getting the double shampoo. Now. If we
Speaker 1: could only get Jose to change his underwear twice a week,
Speaker 1: that would be something. I only have two pairs of boxers.
Speaker 1: How am I going to change them all the time?
Speaker 1: Somebody's sending fresh underwear for Jose. We're gonna put it
Speaker 1: on our goals for the year. Now, let's move on
Speaker 1: to the shot caller question of the day, where Digital
Speaker 1: Jake is gonna say stuff that makes us feel dirt
Speaker 1: in all the right places. Take it away, Jake. How
Speaker 1: many times on this morning show have I asked the
Speaker 1: question what are people's favorite smells in the world? I
Speaker 1: don't know how many times, Jake, Well, things like fresh
Speaker 1: baked cookies, fresh cut grass ye and for alexis her
Speaker 1: fresh spray tan a chemical smell. I can almost taste
Speaker 1: the chemicals. I'm on the beach. There's the reason the
Speaker 1: reef is dying. Clearly, a scent has to be new
Speaker 1: and fresh in order to be considered good. But today
Speaker 1: I'm not asking about the best smells. I'm asking about
Speaker 1: those times in your life when you catch a whip
Speaker 1: of something so unique you can instantly identify what it is,
Speaker 1: good or bad. Okay, A new survey just asked a
Speaker 1: thousand people to name an odor so dis stink you
Speaker 1: know right away what it is, And I'll tell you
Speaker 1: one of them is something you eat. Only one, okay,
Speaker 1: only one. I have the top five answers that you'll
Speaker 1: have to guess in a brand new edition of Unglued
Speaker 1: Family Few. We'll start with the man whose favorite British
Speaker 1: pop star was Old Spice. I'm Jeff Old Spice. Jeff.
Speaker 1: Name an odor so distinct you know right away what
Speaker 1: it is. Well, if there's one place that offers up
Speaker 1: a bouquet swear pungent odors of the nats, it's when
Speaker 1: you're visiting your local zoo. Yah. Is there one animal
Speaker 1: at the zoo that stands out more than the other
Speaker 1: for you? The ringtailed lemur. I could smell it from
Speaker 1: all the way across the entire enclosure. Dude, those are
Speaker 1: so cute, their little tiny hands stinky. I called it yesterday.
Speaker 1: Every question for the rest of you is going to
Speaker 1: have Zoo as one of the answers tell me, I'm
Speaker 1: right with Zoo, Jake, Zoo is not we broke the streak.
Speaker 1: Zoo is not correct. Okay, I'm not just saying this
Speaker 1: because I'm sitting next to Brook. But body odor is
Speaker 1: a very distinct I am wearing a natural exactly more
Speaker 1: armed than ham my hair this morning. But yeah, just
Speaker 1: anywhere where you're next is like, if you smell it,
Speaker 1: you just know what it is. Yeah, you're right, from
Speaker 1: different people, you know, still be I'm gonna go body
Speaker 1: oder tanked. Body odor is number five, alexis a safe
Speaker 1: going over to Jose and odor is so distinct, you
Speaker 1: know right away. I know what that is. Okay. And
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm the weird one in the
Speaker 1: room because I love this smell. But every time I
Speaker 1: fill up my gas tank, I love people. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: like when I go to Mexico and like you step
Speaker 1: out of the air or in the whole place smells
Speaker 1: like petrol, does it? It does? I didn't know. I
Speaker 1: not noticed that that like gasoline smell. Oh, it's amazing. No,
Speaker 1: maybe because I don't get that, I guess what airport.
Speaker 1: It's like when I'm blindfolded. My favorite spot. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with Gasolene, Jake, you always know the
Speaker 1: smell of it. Gasoline is nu Jose. We do have
Speaker 1: a food item that we haven't named yet because you
Speaker 1: said there's one food item on it, and you know,
Speaker 1: there's one smell that God, even if you're walking out,
Speaker 1: you know, on a block, and you could smell it
Speaker 1: for blocks away and you know exactly what it is.
Speaker 1: And I think that's pizza. I thank you. Pizza has
Speaker 1: such a distinct wonderful smells. I'm gonna go pizza. Pizza
Speaker 1: is not on the list of in the top five, Jeffrey,
Speaker 1: I have number one, two, and three still on the board.
Speaker 1: The category is an odor so distinct you know right
Speaker 1: away what it is. Okay, I'm gonna go with a
Speaker 1: good smell, and I think I'm gonna lean on smell.
Speaker 1: Expert hip hop artist Andre three thousand podcast for this
Speaker 1: there was one smell pungent that he decided to write
Speaker 1: a whole song about it. I mean, but but did
Speaker 1: the roses really smell? But they smelled he knew exactly
Speaker 1: what they were. Boopoo poo poo. I want to go
Speaker 1: Andre three thousands recommendation, gimme roses. Jake, No, I'm going
Speaker 1: with the roses. That's what the song is called. Got it.
Speaker 1: Roses is number three, nice job, one of the top ones.
Speaker 1: Let's click it go to the top five. Number five
Speaker 1: was body odor. Alexa said that number four was gasoline.
Speaker 1: Jose got that. Number three, Jeffrey said, roses. The food
Speaker 1: item was number two. That's garlic. I couldn't give me
Speaker 1: that for pizza, Brooks and I said fish too. Number
Speaker 1: one odor so distinct. You know right away what it
Speaker 1: is is skunk can be taking the shock. This morning,
Speaker 1: somebody wanted to hear Shake It Off by Taylor swift
Speaker 1: Um because the player is gonna play play play play
Speaker 1: play and I hate hate hate. Hey, I've just gotta shake, shake, shake, shake, shake,
Speaker 1: shake it up, shake it. I hope you do not
Speaker 1: take your daughter to her content to shock collar. Question
Speaker 1: of the day, Brookie Jeffrey in the morning. If you
Speaker 1: knew where buried treasure was located but it didn't belong
Speaker 1: to you, would you still go dig it up and
Speaker 1: take it? Alexis I mean I might pace? I want
Speaker 1: to dig it for me. I don't want to get dirty.
Speaker 1: What's in there? Yeah, enforcing theft. Good work, Alexis. She
Speaker 1: paid me, I'd steal it from her. Yeah, but that
Speaker 1: was the moral dilemma one of our listeners had. And
Speaker 1: maybe you can assume which route she went in because
Speaker 1: she's chosen to hide her identity from the world. In
Speaker 1: a brand new mass speaker, Okay, you're not gonna believe
Speaker 1: what the treasure was and who she took it from.
Speaker 1: Coming up at seven confession, I can't take better girl
Speaker 1: Arms speaker. Oh, we got a text into seven eight
Speaker 1: five nine two that says I used to work in
Speaker 1: the promo department of your radio station over a decade ago,
Speaker 1: and I wasn't a fan of Brooke, so one time
Speaker 1: when she was headed to an event, I gave her
Speaker 1: directions the wrong way, just a mess with her. She
Speaker 1: thought I was an idiot, but I did it on
Speaker 1: purpose and just played that I was. I have never
Speaker 1: thought any of the promo kids were idiots. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: don't feel bad. I'm sure everybody working here likes you. Now.
Speaker 1: I care people like me. I don't know. I like myself.
Speaker 1: I'm good for everybody else. You have something that you'd
Speaker 1: like to confess to. You can do it here on
Speaker 1: the Mass Speaker. And one of our listeners is ready
Speaker 1: to come clean about something. Her name that she's chosen
Speaker 1: for herself is Valerie. Valerie. Are you also an ex
Speaker 1: employee who did get along with Hey? No, I'm not shucks.
Speaker 1: Valerie had history. I want another one of those stories.
Speaker 1: But welcome to the show. Voice changer is on. You
Speaker 1: are now the mass Speaker, Valerie. Whenever you're ready, let's
Speaker 1: hear your confession. All right, here we go. Okay, growing up,
Speaker 1: my younger brother collected Pokemon cards. Cool. Well not at
Speaker 1: the time. I bet I bet no one thought he
Speaker 1: was cool at the time. Now it's so much money now,
Speaker 1: it's crazy. That's funny. Say that because about a year
Speaker 1: ago he called me and he's back at our parents'
Speaker 1: house and he's looking for those cards. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, why do you even care? And that's
Speaker 1: when he tells me there worth a lot of money. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: My husband's one of his buddies. That's all he does
Speaker 1: is he's like cells and trades Pokemon cards. Well it's
Speaker 1: a side hustle right now, But it's about to be
Speaker 1: a living. He's seriously made that much money doing it.
Speaker 1: Cool friends, it sounds yeah, you know me and my
Speaker 1: husband very cool people. Okay, did you know where they were? Now? Well,
Speaker 1: a few months went by and I so happened to
Speaker 1: be in our parents' house and I'm sitting there and
Speaker 1: I'm like, wait a minute. He had to build a
Speaker 1: time capsule when we were little for school, and he
Speaker 1: put most of his cards in that time capsule, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I wonder if they're still there. Okay, so
Speaker 1: this is something you remembered, but your brother had not remembered, right,
Speaker 1: and I was. He wasn't at our parents house. He
Speaker 1: had been visiting before. And at this point it was
Speaker 1: just me, right, Okay, So I did go and check
Speaker 1: and dug it up, and you guys, I found the
Speaker 1: box and yes, by a tree in the backyard up
Speaker 1: later mind in the attic. Yeah, I just thought thought
Speaker 1: digging smelt like a lot of work you didn't want
Speaker 1: to get. You don't have any hired help. A little
Speaker 1: pool in the backyard were supposed I built an actual
Speaker 1: I did, and yes, it is a lot of freaking work.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you. We're the cards in good condition. I
Speaker 1: would assume they're just like wrecked, right, like what it
Speaker 1: wasn't too bad because he put it like there was
Speaker 1: classic in tin and you're supposed to do that. Smart enough. Yeah. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I took them to one of those game shops. Oh shoot,
Speaker 1: you didn't tell them now. I wanted to make sure
Speaker 1: he wasn't going to get to and so I just
Speaker 1: went and the guy tells me most of them were
Speaker 1: pretty worthless. Okay, yeah, it's only like the holographics and
Speaker 1: certain graded ones. Right. Well, there was this weird chat
Speaker 1: thing creature thing one and he said, this one, though,
Speaker 1: is worth forty thousand. Ho what is that one? It's
Speaker 1: got a big tale? Is it in good condition? Yeah?
Speaker 1: He was impressed, and I was like, no way. I
Speaker 1: mean like, I was like, you gotta be kidding. That's
Speaker 1: name new too. You said forty thousand dollars. Yeah, And
Speaker 1: then I go to an appraiser and the appraiser is like, no, dude,
Speaker 1: a game shops, not right, not forty thousand, it's sixty
Speaker 1: five thousand. Did you get that thing grated? And so
Speaker 1: then you told your brother, hey, I found your sixty
Speaker 1: five thousand dollars cat card whatever it was. Yeah. Sure,
Speaker 1: Oh here's my confession. Owner. Okay, okay, I finished my
Speaker 1: renovations with my kitchen. Sold his money. You sold it.
Speaker 1: Didn't tell him, No, I did not tell him. Oh
Speaker 1: hold on, hold on, let's just you didn't take like
Speaker 1: ten grand do the renovations. Give him the rest like
Speaker 1: you kept it all. I mean he would have spent
Speaker 1: it on like samurai swords. Guys, like, she's the one
Speaker 1: who remembered where it was and actually dug it up.
Speaker 1: Clue he had no clue, Your terrible sister, I do
Speaker 1: I do feel bad? This is what sisters doing that enough? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're like, I'll cook a dinner in my new gas range. Wow,
Speaker 1: when did you get a wood fired pizza oven? Text
Speaker 1: into seven eight, five nights too. If you have a
Speaker 1: confession you've been holding onto, we'll hide your identity, mask
Speaker 1: your voice, and make you the next mass speaker. Got
Speaker 1: your phone tap coming up next, Brooke and Jeffrey in
Speaker 1: the morning. When two people have a kid, and Brooke
Speaker 1: knows this, you gotta communicate with each other as parents
Speaker 1: to be on the same page. Absolutely, kids will take over. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: today we call a lady who's furious at her husband
Speaker 1: because he found a flyer on some random telephone poll
Speaker 1: that said piano lessons. He didn't think, he didn't ask
Speaker 1: any permission. He just signed their daughter up and shelled
Speaker 1: out four hundred bucks to do. Now, at least that's
Speaker 1: what he told his wife he did. Yeah, so obviously
Speaker 1: she freaked out and emailed the instructor and she's finally
Speaker 1: going to get her questions and answer yes, or will
Speaker 1: she because it is a phone tapp after all, we're
Speaker 1: doing it right now the twenty lue. Hi is this Jamie,
Speaker 1: I'm speaking. This is Peter Panist. I'm scheduled to teach
Speaker 1: your daughter Addison a little beginner piano on Thursday. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: you emailed me, remember yes, my husband just I guess
Speaker 1: he saw your You had a flyer up on a
Speaker 1: street sign or something, and that's me all over the city.
Speaker 1: Just she didn't check with me first, and he should have,
Speaker 1: and so I just had some questions. Go ahead and
Speaker 1: shoot whatever questions you have. Peter Panis will answer for you. Okay,
Speaker 1: thank you. So I'd like to know a little bit
Speaker 1: about your background. Are you clapping? Waitmute, excuse me, no,
Speaker 1: hold on, I just need to guse me, sir, Peter,
Speaker 1: what I just need to finish this bar? Are you
Speaker 1: teaching someone right now? No? Listen, no, I'm actually hold on. Sorry.
Speaker 1: Do you get distracted easily? None? You get distracted. This
Speaker 1: is distracting. Listen. I a nice okay. Sorry. As an artist,
Speaker 1: it's always playing in my head. I said to get
Speaker 1: it out. Let the music flow through me, right through
Speaker 1: my fingers. Listen. I would appreciate it if you don't
Speaker 1: do that again. Let's just have a very quick conversation.
Speaker 1: I let me just ask the questions and then you
Speaker 1: can answer, and then that's it. Okay, you you have
Speaker 1: my complete attention, my apologies, thank you. Wait a minute,
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, Wait a minute. I'm being serious right now.
Speaker 1: This isn't funny. I'm not playing, Okay, I am, but
Speaker 1: hold on, I'm almost done. Oh my god, I'm starry
Speaker 1: to interrupt you. But do you hear how fast my
Speaker 1: fingers are moving and I'm talking. That's fine. I really
Speaker 1: want to know about you. Are you classically trained? I
Speaker 1: want to know about your background, how long you've studied?
Speaker 1: Nothing's as classic as chopsticks. Did that answer your question? No?
Speaker 1: It doesn't. I didn't you're any applause or you know,
Speaker 1: you know that's very typical in an orchestra or a
Speaker 1: symphony to applause after a performance. You expect me to
Speaker 1: applaud you when you've interrupted our conversation with while I
Speaker 1: was playing a perfect rendition of chopsticks. I mean, your
Speaker 1: daughter's in great hands, or I guess you could say
Speaker 1: great fingers to me right now. That's a piano joke
Speaker 1: from a professional penist. That was rude. It was inconsiderate,
Speaker 1: and I never want to hear that song again. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: I definitely no more chopsticks. I agree you're probably looking
Speaker 1: for something more contemporary. How's this? Huh? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: No Ray, way better than chopsticks. Man, this takes me
Speaker 1: back to community college when I used to play the
Speaker 1: keyboard in the parking lot for spare change. Right now,
Speaker 1: first time I got an SDD, actually many sinse but
Speaker 1: thankfully all curable. All right, did you? I would hang
Speaker 1: up on you, but my husband already paid you, so
Speaker 1: let's just figure this out. Oh, no refunds, sorry, no refunds,
Speaker 1: never refund Oh my god, that's part of the song.
Speaker 1: You're early idiot. Okay, hold on did you want to
Speaker 1: request something else? Is that's the problem? I wasn't paying
Speaker 1: Attention's not going to study with you? No, she's not.
Speaker 1: Because I'm a radio personality. This is a prank phone. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I get it. I get it. You're you're multi talented. No,
Speaker 1: I get it. No, I'm Jose for the radio Brook
Speaker 1: and Jeffrey in the Morning, and you're on the show
Speaker 1: shoe right now. Hey, are you serious? I was playing
Speaker 1: a recording the whole time. I'm not even buy your piano.
Speaker 1: I'm in the studio. Your husband set you up. You
Speaker 1: had me so up. Hey, you sound a little up tight, Okay, Jamie,
Speaker 1: And I know the solution to that, Peter panis on
Speaker 1: the piano. Yeah, that's how you get to smile. Here's
Speaker 1: the rather devil sounds like you. You're just jealous because
Speaker 1: I'm better. Okay, fine, I'll go back to chopsticks from
Speaker 1: now on. How's that? No? No, I never want to
Speaker 1: hear chopsticks again for the rest of my life. Wake
Speaker 1: up every morning with funk taps weekday mornings on the twenties,
Speaker 1: Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. If you're a bird,
Speaker 1: Oh I'm a bird. You had me at hello. Oh okay,
Speaker 1: I don't care if your grandmother's watching us. Kiss me
Speaker 1: with tongue, you fool. We've seen all of these sappy
Speaker 1: lines work like a charm in cheesy rom coms, but
Speaker 1: they would never work on women in real life, right
Speaker 1: or no, would they? Well, we decided to put it
Speaker 1: to the test once and for all by taking over
Speaker 1: Jose's dating app. Yeah, and we messaged real ladies using
Speaker 1: only famous lines from classic romantic films. The question is
Speaker 1: would the girls call him out immediately or was it
Speaker 1: such a crazy, stupid idea that it actually worked and
Speaker 1: found Jose his one true Love's a story you're gonna
Speaker 1: hear how the experiment went down when we read the
Speaker 1: cheesy lines and the actual girl's responses come in up
Speaker 1: right after this, a young man's quest for love or
Speaker 1: just some random tale continues. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in
Speaker 1: the morning. And it's been a while since our own
Speaker 1: Jose Bolanios has had an official girlfriend. Oh yes, a
Speaker 1: long time year, no counting but five and a half years.
Speaker 1: But he told us recently that with the new year
Speaker 1: upon us, he is open to the possibility of finding love.
Speaker 1: I've been you've worked so hard on yourself, you are
Speaker 1: ready here of somebody. Yes, he's not going to go
Speaker 1: out and chase it down himself because the weather has
Speaker 1: been bad and he can't walk that far, amongst other reasons.
Speaker 1: But last year we kind of ran into the same issue,
Speaker 1: so we tried an experiment with him. We downloaded the
Speaker 1: dating app Hinge onto Jose's phone, put up some pictures
Speaker 1: of him recent ones, even within the last twelve years,
Speaker 1: comedy head shots. Yeah, and he handed his phone over
Speaker 1: to me and producer Boyd to let us do his
Speaker 1: dirty work for it. I remember this. How did that
Speaker 1: experience go for you? In your opinion? The first one? Right?
Speaker 1: First time around? Oh well, I do you have a girlfriend?
Speaker 1: I didn't end up talking to anybody because our main
Speaker 1: strategy at that point was to make the women laugh
Speaker 1: using vegetable puns, which actually worked. That's true. We have
Speaker 1: full conversations with these women using only vegetable puns, and
Speaker 1: then Jose took over from there and that's when they
Speaker 1: stopped responding to him together. But that's kind of true.
Speaker 1: But yeah, the thing is, it's a new year, so
Speaker 1: we came up with a brand new strategy Okay, vegetable
Speaker 1: puns are out instead. Yeah, you know we're gonna go
Speaker 1: with famous rom com movie quotes. Oh my god, you
Speaker 1: only used movie quotes on these girls, strictly trying to
Speaker 1: pick up women using famous lines from romantic movie. Good
Speaker 1: idea or great idea. Oh I'm saying great idea, but
Speaker 1: oh are you really are? These are writers who are
Speaker 1: writing for the sappiest, most romantic people ever, don Jose
Speaker 1: is true. But don't girls know. I was gonna say, yeah,
Speaker 1: I've seen this movie. Well, yes, you think that that
Speaker 1: is a possible risk, But we googled well known lines
Speaker 1: from romantic movies and actually sent them out to a
Speaker 1: handful of real women. Now, some of them Jose matched
Speaker 1: within the past, but never sent them a message. Okay,
Speaker 1: and some are brand new women that we were hoping
Speaker 1: would respond and please give you the first message. Let's go. Well,
Speaker 1: here's the thing before we get to that. I know, Jose,
Speaker 1: that looks matter to you on a scale of like
Speaker 1: one to ten. How much do they matter? I'd say
Speaker 1: at least like a seven or an eight hundred. Yes,
Speaker 1: I am extremely important that they are good looking. You
Speaker 1: need to be at least semi attracted to somebody and
Speaker 1: then their personality will take them to at ten. If
Speaker 1: you meet at ten, they to not have any personality.
Speaker 1: So the math is like you meet a seven or
Speaker 1: an eight personality, adds three. Boom, Now they're a ten
Speaker 1: in your heart. Okay the one time Jose is good
Speaker 1: at math when it comes these equations actually worked out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: here's what I'm gonna do. Um, So I have the
Speaker 1: pictures of all the ladies that we reached out to
Speaker 1: on the app. Let's put the photos out of them
Speaker 1: in front of you. Pick out the top three women
Speaker 1: that you're hoping to hear from, because I'll just tell
Speaker 1: you not all of them responded back. But as we're
Speaker 1: running him generally, wouldn't you say that these are all
Speaker 1: very attractive women here? Actually that's a really pretty girls here.
Speaker 1: So pick pick out your top three. Okay Georgia immediately
Speaker 1: she looks like the girl from White Lotus, White Lotus.
Speaker 1: That could be her pet name. Guy Okaya Jay Okay,
Speaker 1: mixed girls, and one more Anna. Anna's really pretty and
Speaker 1: really cool too. Okay, So headband, here's what I'll tell you.
Speaker 1: Some of the girls that you chose did respond to you.
Speaker 1: The movie rom com quotes worked. Now these girls, here's
Speaker 1: what we're going to start with. Let's start with Taylor.
Speaker 1: Can you find her picture and grab it out of
Speaker 1: the mix. So there's Taylor. I'll tell you about her
Speaker 1: profile real quick. She's twenty nine. She says she loves
Speaker 1: watching football and helping out her family. Okay, looks like
Speaker 1: she looks pure and same interests. So you girl. You
Speaker 1: know what we did for Taylor. We went with a
Speaker 1: line from the nineteen ninety eight rom com Smash The
Speaker 1: Wedding Singer starring Adam Sandler, and first line, no, it
Speaker 1: would be so nice growing old with you. First five response.
Speaker 1: She didn't say anything, but she did match with you,
Speaker 1: and they're going to consider that a small victory. She
Speaker 1: had to like click the light and say, Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: willing to talk. She's worried that you're gonna stalk her.
Speaker 1: She doesn't. Next up, will you please grab Georgia. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: out of the mixture. You said you liked Georgia. Georgia's
Speaker 1: twenty three. She says she goes crazy for a mcdouble
Speaker 1: extra pickle and her goal for the years to try
Speaker 1: every sausage roll in the city. Oh my god, is
Speaker 1: that a euphemism? I don't know, but I first thing
Speaker 1: we sent Georgia, we went with the big guns, went
Speaker 1: right to the notebook from two thousand McAdams. We wrote,
Speaker 1: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard,
Speaker 1: and we're gonna have to work at this every day.
Speaker 1: But I want to do that because I want you. Oh,
Speaker 1: I feel like that's recognizable from the movie. It's all
Speaker 1: about how yeah, but if you if you see Jose's
Speaker 1: picture next to it, is it recognized after reading that,
Speaker 1: Georgia also matched with you but didn't say anything. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, the door open already. We can tell the
Speaker 1: strategy is working a little bit. You count that a success.
Speaker 1: She probably accidentally, like swiped the wrong way. Because these apps, yea,
Speaker 1: if you mag it's it's like a thumbs up from them.
Speaker 1: But we're hoping for actual responses and we did get one. Okay,
Speaker 1: do you please grab Tiffany from the group. The thing
Speaker 1: about Tiffany is you matched with her two weeks ago
Speaker 1: before we even had your phone, but you never ended
Speaker 1: up writing anything to her. Okay, I'm so lazy on
Speaker 1: these apps. I just swipe and then when a girl matches,
Speaker 1: I'm like, Oh, she thinks I'm cute and then I
Speaker 1: give up. Sounds like she's at like a sports betting events.
Speaker 1: We stepped in to help you out with that with
Speaker 1: a quote from fifty First Dates Adam Sandler again quote,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say you're the girl of my dreams
Speaker 1: and apparently I'm the man of yours. Oh that doesn't
Speaker 1: even make sense. I well, she replied, So it worked, Brooke,
Speaker 1: and she right back fifteen days later, and you're just
Speaker 1: now realizing this or did your other matches not pan out?
Speaker 1: So we left her on red because that was just
Speaker 1: But listen, after that, something amazing happened, one of your
Speaker 1: top picks. Not only did she right back, she fully
Speaker 1: engaged with producer Boyd and I in a complete text conversation.
Speaker 1: Must have been when my phone was going nuts the
Speaker 1: entire time. We only talk to her using famous movie
Speaker 1: nothing else. Would she figure out what we were doing?
Speaker 1: Or just like in any Hollywood romcom, would she swoon
Speaker 1: and become putty in your hands? Jose Oh, we are
Speaker 1: gonna read the full text combo, and you're not gonna
Speaker 1: believe what happens at the very end of it. When
Speaker 1: we come back with Jose's rom com dating app strategy,
Speaker 1: We're gonna read next getting a lot of texts coming
Speaker 1: into seven eighty five nine two from listeners hopeful that
Speaker 1: this show can finally jump start Jose's limp in lackluster
Speaker 1: love life. But if you missed it, Producer Boyd and I,
Speaker 1: over the last few days, we took over Jose's hinge
Speaker 1: dating app. The overall results were pretty positive. We reached
Speaker 1: out to eight women using only famous romcom movie quotes.
Speaker 1: You only got one to actually respond to you, But
Speaker 1: there is a lot of matches. We're just looking for
Speaker 1: matches here. Out of the eight ladies that we approached,
Speaker 1: we received five responses, five out of eight. And now
Speaker 1: it's time. Because you connected with one girl over a
Speaker 1: month ago. You only matched with her, didn't say anything,
Speaker 1: just the match, And Jose has the pictures in front
Speaker 1: of him because he doesn't know which one it is
Speaker 1: yet he may be hoping for one in particular. So
Speaker 1: will you please grab Jay? She was, and so she
Speaker 1: not only responded, the conversation went back and forth for
Speaker 1: a while, and you only use movie quotes the entire time.
Speaker 1: The entire time and just to help bring this to life,
Speaker 1: because we're going to read the whole conversation. I would
Speaker 1: like to have digital producer Jake read Jay's responses as
Speaker 1: if you are all right, and if you want to
Speaker 1: see the video of this, go over to our YouTube
Speaker 1: at Brooke and Jeffrey. Let's begin. Can I get some
Speaker 1: romcom music? Please? Oh? Now, imagine jose is the one
Speaker 1: who is like reading these and texting these to this woman,
Speaker 1: all right, even though it was us. But let's We're
Speaker 1: gonna start off by sending Jay something from nineteen ninety
Speaker 1: seven my best friend's wedding. Oh my god, because they
Speaker 1: may not know that it's a movie quote. Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1: We wrote if you love someone, you say it, you
Speaker 1: say it right then out loud, otherwise the moment just
Speaker 1: passes you by. Oh wow. That is Ja's response, Jose,
Speaker 1: I don't know what to say to you. Ye o,
Speaker 1: l We have her on the hook, though, so we
Speaker 1: went with two thousand and one serendipity. Just say what
Speaker 1: you feel, say what's in your heart. Oh wow, it
Speaker 1: makes sense. It started to feel serious. Jay's response. I
Speaker 1: guess I would say, don't give all your love away, heart, emoji.
Speaker 1: Is that a music lyric? I don't know if I
Speaker 1: like that. She's just as intends into it, So that
Speaker 1: we responded with a twenty eighteen movie quote from Love Simon,
Speaker 1: do you guys know movies? I'm done being scared. I'm
Speaker 1: done living in a world where I don't get to
Speaker 1: be who I Oh, I'm hiding now. I deserve a
Speaker 1: great love story saying this. Yeah, I mean, out of
Speaker 1: all the ones we've done, this fits your person. I
Speaker 1: am tired of not just openly loving a woman and
Speaker 1: giving what was Jay's response. We're on the same page,
Speaker 1: but does the right person really exist nowadays? Oh, I'm
Speaker 1: worried about James. So we went with a line from
Speaker 1: another twenty eighteen classic, Crazy Rich Asians. No, I haven't
Speaker 1: seen this one. What did you say? And we said,
Speaker 1: I have it all planned out. I'll bring you to
Speaker 1: my favorite spot on the island. The island. There's there's
Speaker 1: a hidden trail I used to go to as a child,
Speaker 1: and when the sun hits the horizon, I'd get down
Speaker 1: on one knee and the red of the world would
Speaker 1: fall away. No, this is where you ruin. You blew it?
Speaker 1: Did I? Because Jay's response, well, look at you. The
Speaker 1: fact that you have that mindset is pretty nice. Vacation,
Speaker 1: that's not that's right. So we went with as good
Speaker 1: as it gets with Jack Nicholson in caps, you make
Speaker 1: me want to be a better man. Jay's response, me,
Speaker 1: question mark question mark, question mark question mark? Why you
Speaker 1: say that it's time for some Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan,
Speaker 1: you've got mail? This is your closer. I wanted it
Speaker 1: to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly.
Speaker 1: Jay's response, boy, you playing stop and in with Hanks
Speaker 1: from full She said, stop, Jeff. I may not be
Speaker 1: a smart man, I know, but I know what love is.
Speaker 1: And Jay's response, Okay, so what is love? Explain? Oh wow,
Speaker 1: that one was tough. She did Adam Sandler ever tell
Speaker 1: brew Berry Bird couldn't go with Dad. We had to
Speaker 1: put Mulan Rouge two thousand and one together with meet
Speaker 1: Joe Black from ninety eight and really wrote, love is passion, obsession,
Speaker 1: someone you can't live without. Sounds not healthy. The greatest
Speaker 1: thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be
Speaker 1: loved in return, and Jay responded, sounds right. I guess
Speaker 1: she thinks you're some kind of love guru. At this point,
Speaker 1: bring down what love is. I'll accept that answer exactly.
Speaker 1: You could never be clinging to her if this is
Speaker 1: where her bar, It's time for the closer. Nineteen ninety nine,
Speaker 1: Nodding Hill with Julia Robertsons your brand. Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I'm just a boy standing in front of a girl
Speaker 1: asking her out. Change because the real quote is love,
Speaker 1: love her or whatever it is. But what was Jay's response?
Speaker 1: You asking me out as in getting a coffee, snack, dessert, dinner.
Speaker 1: What are you asking but this one? She's so confused,
Speaker 1: Princess Bride, going as you wish? I answer Jay's response,
Speaker 1: You didn't answer the question. Yeah, okay, so fullest closure.
Speaker 1: At this point, where could run out of rom Com
Speaker 1: movie quote? So we went with a line that we
Speaker 1: found in Good Housekeeping magazine sixteen. Why do you have those? Jack,
Speaker 1: love is in the air and it smells like coffee
Speaker 1: days response, l o l okay sounds good. Smiley face
Speaker 1: got you a date with a hot girl using early
Speaker 1: rom com movie clothes and one part from Good Housekeeping.
Speaker 1: Not one of the women from this entire experiment called
Speaker 1: us out on using rom Com quote. Never doubt the
Speaker 1: power of romantic comedy on a woman's psyche, ladies and
Speaker 1: gentlemen and text into seven eight, five to nine two.
Speaker 1: When Jose finally meets up with Jay for their coffee day,
Speaker 1: should he bring a cheat sheet along with him of
Speaker 1: rom com movie face written on his arm? Or should
Speaker 1: he just come clean and tell her the truth. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna meet her and be like, so you like video
Speaker 1: games like sport? Where was the guy I was talking
Speaker 1: excited speeches? Anyway, It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 1: Broke and Jeffrey in the morning. What's life gonna be
Speaker 1: like in the year twenty one twenty three? Wow? Will
Speaker 1: hologram dating finally be a thing? Yeah? By Jose's in
Speaker 1: a relationship finally? Or even worse, came mom, I want
Speaker 1: to introduce you my new prom gate hologram Beyonce. She's
Speaker 1: not going to be Shingle Lady tonight. Only problem is
Speaker 1: they keep singing their pants on the hologram. It checks out.
Speaker 1: It's times well, an article from one hundred years ago
Speaker 1: in the past was just discovered about what they believed
Speaker 1: life was gonna look like today. And I'll tell you
Speaker 1: the number one prediction had everyone in studio super confused.
Speaker 1: We couldn't believe people a century ago actually thought this
Speaker 1: was gonna be a thing. You're gonna hear the whole
Speaker 1: list coming up at eight ten. Sometimes it's fun to
Speaker 1: speculate about what's the world's gonna look like one hundred
Speaker 1: years from now. Yeah, I'm totally into this. Are we
Speaker 1: gonna have teleportation that would be awesome, not for people,
Speaker 1: just for Amazon boxes so they can have literal instant delivery.
Speaker 1: You know they would do that. Amazon would create this
Speaker 1: breakthrough technology and not share it with anyone like I've
Speaker 1: been winning four seconds or who is gonna be co
Speaker 1: hosting this very show along with Brooks severed head that
Speaker 1: she and onto a twenty two year olds body checklate
Speaker 1: text messages lately because I literally just texted my husband
Speaker 1: I have been here so long. It's just it's fun
Speaker 1: to speculate about what will happen in a century from now,
Speaker 1: and if you can believe that people were doing it
Speaker 1: a hundred years ago. And I know it because somebody
Speaker 1: found an old article from nineteen twenty three The Distant
Speaker 1: Future on what they thought this year would look like
Speaker 1: these bring it. Let's see what they thought. Number ten
Speaker 1: on the predictions people will work a max of four
Speaker 1: hours a day. Oh wait, I mean we're at work
Speaker 1: for longer than that, but are we actually working? The
Speaker 1: real prediction is people are going to be lazier than
Speaker 1: effortable before. It's kind of real. The headline for that
Speaker 1: was no more hard work. By twenty twenty three. They
Speaker 1: said electricity would make that possible, so that electronics would
Speaker 1: do all the work for you. It wasn't women actually
Speaker 1: entering the workforce and lessening the load on everybody else,
Speaker 1: because back in the day, in nineteen twenty three, less
Speaker 1: than half of homes had electrical power. Wow Number nine.
Speaker 1: No ugly people. They thought beauty pageants would become obsolete
Speaker 1: because it'd be impossible to choose a winner amongst the
Speaker 1: sea of gorgeous, gorgeous human people. Well, there's like four
Speaker 1: plastic surgeons that are out there being like, we're trying
Speaker 1: our hardest. Yeah, okay, we're doing our best. Everybody looks
Speaker 1: like a Kardashian, so we're halfway there. I love that
Speaker 1: When you said that, all four of us ugly people
Speaker 1: all looked and laughed at each other. They thought we
Speaker 1: wouldn't be here. We showed them four hours a day.
Speaker 1: Number eight women will paint their teeth black to be fashionable.
Speaker 1: I don't know what that's about. They thought that black
Speaker 1: teeth were going to be the future of hotness, but
Speaker 1: instead it's just white teeth. People when their teeth blacken
Speaker 1: their teeth. Yeah, I'm gonna say, I know a couple
Speaker 1: of toothless peoples or brook after doing one pack of oreos,
Speaker 1: She's they do get stuck in there, they do. Maybe
Speaker 1: you're number seven. Gasoline will be completely replaced by radio waves.
Speaker 1: We would have been a lot more useful. I know
Speaker 1: what if our we could power cars instead of just
Speaker 1: people listening in their car. Reality is a lot sadder
Speaker 1: than that. Better they all had to tune in, maybe
Speaker 1: just joining us. We're looking at an article from one
Speaker 1: hundred years ago where they were predicting what the world
Speaker 1: would look like in twenty twenty three. Number six says
Speaker 1: the average life expectancy will be one hundred years old.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. That was one expert. A different expert
Speaker 1: said three hundred years. I'm out. I don't want to
Speaker 1: go to three hundred. I feel like a hundred of
Speaker 1: this is enough to listeners in two hundred years. Want
Speaker 1: to hear Brooks severed head. Don't deprive them of that.
Speaker 1: Number five, flying from Chicago to Germany will only take
Speaker 1: eighteen hours. They were actually too conservative with that. It's
Speaker 1: about half of that. It's the nine hour flight at Chicago.
Speaker 1: That's if your airline shows up on time, they lose
Speaker 1: your baglay. Number four, cancer will be completely eradicated, hopes
Speaker 1: up back in the twenties. Yeah, they had adding more
Speaker 1: to it. No idea what they were putting into the
Speaker 1: environment that was going to cause a lot of cancer.
Speaker 1: But we are making good progress towards that. Number three
Speaker 1: homes won't have kitchens in them anymore. Why that one
Speaker 1: basically said that we'd have ways to make food using
Speaker 1: quote chemicals and formulas. Again, let's go back to the
Speaker 1: cancer one that we're just talking about. Well, we do
Speaker 1: have like uber eats and Grubhub. Yes, the kitchens are
Speaker 1: slowly becoming obsolete. So you're saying that it's just Jose's
Speaker 1: kitchen is obsolete. Yes, Jose, thank you for taking steps
Speaker 1: to making the future happen. I am bringing us into
Speaker 1: the future single handling. Yeah, you're welcome, everybody. Number Two,
Speaker 1: telepathy will exist I knew you were going to say that.
Speaker 1: I thought it, Wow, that would be amazing, though, can
Speaker 1: you well actually probably backfire? Yeah, I mean, I guess
Speaker 1: we put all of our thoughts on social media anyway,
Speaker 1: Like why would we need telepathy? Nobody has a filter.
Speaker 1: But they thought telepathy would be useful for being able
Speaker 1: to speak with babies to figure out. It wasn't a
Speaker 1: cute thing for like social media posts. It was like
Speaker 1: to figure out what's wrong with your baby? I know,
Speaker 1: mor tality rape wasn't great. Three, I want to talk
Speaker 1: to my babies when they were babies. And the number
Speaker 1: one prediction that they had from a hundred years ago. Okay,
Speaker 1: but they thought twenty twenty three would be like they
Speaker 1: thought we would have kidney koozies like beer koozies for
Speaker 1: your internal organs to stay warm. What like we would
Speaker 1: put them inside our bodies or were taking our organs
Speaker 1: out and put them in in the coozies? Did they explain? Clearly,
Speaker 1: the moonshine was really strong by the time they got
Speaker 1: to this prediction. So I don't know. To me, that's
Speaker 1: just like wearing a coat or like a jacket that
Speaker 1: pretty much keeps your warm taken out. I like Brook's idea.
Speaker 1: It's like the end of the day when you're finally
Speaker 1: going to take your bra That feels good my gallbladders.
Speaker 1: Text into seven tell us what are your hundred year
Speaker 1: predictions from now? Text them and then in twenty one
Speaker 1: twenty three, Brooks severed head will read them on the air.
Speaker 1: If you're right, phone tap is coming up right after this,
Speaker 1: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning. Brooks going for twelve
Speaker 1: winds in a row today, and you're gonna be taken on.
Speaker 1: Nathan from Lynnwood, whose New Year's resolution, he says, is
Speaker 1: to get more sleep because he's living Jose's nightmare. Oh
Speaker 1: Nathan has three kids and gets two to three hours
Speaker 1: of rest. Another Oh my gosh, Nathan, I get mad
Speaker 1: when my naps are only three hours. Jose. I actually
Speaker 1: watch you on Twitch and you stream great, and that's
Speaker 1: what keeping up at night. So I was gonna say,
Speaker 1: how old are the kids, because like, you should be
Speaker 1: getting a little more sleep than that, unless you have
Speaker 1: a newborn. No, yeah, I got a one and a half. Yeah,
Speaker 1: grow up. I'll show him the stream. They're gonna grow up,
Speaker 1: and I'll be Uncle Jose the whole family can be
Speaker 1: sleep deprived together. Isn't that sweet? Let's send Brook. She
Speaker 1: seems well rested this morning. We're sending her out of
Speaker 1: the studio. No, she doesn't. While that happens, We're gonna
Speaker 1: tell you how the game works. Nathan, you got thirty
Speaker 1: seconds to answer as many questions as possible. If you
Speaker 1: don't know when, you can say pass. But you have
Speaker 1: to beat Brooke outright to win. Are you ready? No?
Speaker 1: But yes, let's go right after this. We're taking a nap,
Speaker 1: but your time starts now. Zane Malick celebrates a birthday today.
Speaker 1: He was once a member of what famous pop group
Speaker 1: One Direction. What came first the name Nike or the
Speaker 1: famous swoosh logo Nike? According to Hasbro, which board game
Speaker 1: was invented by a wealthy Canadian couple who liked to
Speaker 1: play the game on their yacht Monopoly. What comedian played
Speaker 1: the role of Alan in the Hangover movies? How many
Speaker 1: watts make a kill a watty? What famous guitarist has
Speaker 1: known for songs such as Maria Maria and Black Magic
Speaker 1: Woman Ababa. I didn't hear I didn't hear that part?
Speaker 1: That's okay? Went out on the limb with those guesses.
Speaker 1: But that's all right. Brooke is going to come back
Speaker 1: in the studio and Nathan, obviously you're familiar with the show.
Speaker 1: You've played Brook three times before, so you know us.
Speaker 1: Do you have a resolution for us? How can we
Speaker 1: get better and entertain you more? Yes, you know what.
Speaker 1: I work at the University Washington and my students do
Speaker 1: not listen to the radio. So they said, you need
Speaker 1: to be more entertaining to them. I'm around me right now,
Speaker 1: and they're like, I don't know who these people are.
Speaker 1: So tell your students. We have a podcast, A successible
Speaker 1: one too, by the way, gets over three million downloads
Speaker 1: a month. Okay students, Yes, wells I average fourteen viewers
Speaker 1: on my Twitch. They're talking to a big time streamer.
Speaker 1: All right, tell them to go follow Jose's stream. Yeah
Speaker 1: at hilarious Jose making an assignment extra credit? Yeah, all right, Brook,
Speaker 1: it's your turn? Are you ready? Yeah? I'm ready? Here
Speaker 1: goes your time starts now. Zane Malick celebrates a birthday
Speaker 1: to day He was once a member of what famous
Speaker 1: pop road? What came first the name Nike or the
Speaker 1: famous swoosh logo. According to Hasbro, which board game was
Speaker 1: invented by a wealthy Canadian couple who like to play
Speaker 1: the game on their yacht Monopoly. What comedian played the
Speaker 1: role of Alan in the Hangover movies zach Alifanakis. How
Speaker 1: many watts make a kill? A watt thousand? What famous
Speaker 1: guitarist is known for songs such as Maria Maria and
Speaker 1: Black Magic Woman. Halo Santanna. I said, very well, Brook,
Speaker 1: We're gonna go to the scoreboard and see how you
Speaker 1: both did. With Jose. I feel more relaxed than a
Speaker 1: check on Facebook. With their legs in front of a pool.
Speaker 1: Play the game hot Dogs, her legs. Nathan, you got
Speaker 1: one correct today, brom and Brook Brook gets an easy
Speaker 1: win with fine Man took downs, though, Nathan gigs you
Speaker 1: need me to come over to you dub and advise
Speaker 1: some students. I am a little worried about the students
Speaker 1: that you advise. They're going to meet these answers. Zane
Speaker 1: Malex celebrates a birthday, turning thirty years old. He used
Speaker 1: to be a member of One Direction between Nike and
Speaker 1: the Swoosh logo. The Swoosh came first in nineteen seventy one.
Speaker 1: It was originally named Blue Ribbon Sports, and then they
Speaker 1: renamed it to Nike in seventy eight. According to Hasbro,
Speaker 1: the board game invented by a wealthy Canadian couple on
Speaker 1: board their yacht was yas He Monopoly. Yeah, the rich people. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The comedian that played Allan in the Hangover movies was
Speaker 1: Zach Gellifanakis. Way to remember that, that's a tough name. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's not forty watts, and to kill a watt there
Speaker 1: is a thousand watts. Again, worried for those U dumb students. Sorry,
Speaker 1: you're just advising them, You're not their electrician teacher. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what. Yeah, it's a trade school exactly. And famous
Speaker 1: guitarist who did Marie and Marie and Black Magic Woman
Speaker 1: was Carlos Santana. Now, Nathan unfortunately can't give you any
Speaker 1: money here, but just for playing you do win a
Speaker 1: five pack of tickets to see Avatar The Way of
Speaker 1: Water at Regal Is. WHOA, that's awesome. You have a
Speaker 1: lot of positive reviews on this consolation prize. Make sure
Speaker 1: you're journey into the world of Pandora and immerse yourself
Speaker 1: with exclusive two hundred and seventy degrees of panoramic screen
Speaker 1: x imagery at Regal. It's aquas like an experience. It's
Speaker 1: not like a regular You got a five pack, you
Speaker 1: can bring your whole family. I'm sure bring your freaking
Speaker 1: up at night. All right, Nathan, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for playing man. We'll be back listen to the Thanks
Speaker 1: for watching the twitch stream. Brow. I appreciate you being
Speaker 1: absolutely man. Thank you for advising the youth of America.
Speaker 1: I'll be back to do it. Win Brooks Box, same
Speaker 1: time tomorrow, brooking Jeffrey in the morning.