Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties,
Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big
Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they
Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello. Everyone, Welcome back to the show.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast. If you're joining us for
Speaker 1: the first time. What an episode to choose, And I
Speaker 1: think it's going to be particularly fun but full of
Speaker 1: some good insights. Maybe possibly let me know after you've
Speaker 1: done listening. Yeah, this is more of a chatty episode.
Speaker 1: When I do like structured episodes, they take so long,
Speaker 1: they take like four hours, five hours to research and record.
Speaker 1: And sometimes there's moments like this where I just have
Speaker 1: this thought, I have something I want to talk about,
Speaker 1: and I just think it feels more authentic to just discuss,
Speaker 1: just to share what I think about it, instead of
Speaker 1: going into you know, journal articles and peer reviewed studies.
Speaker 1: And this just happened to be one of those moments
Speaker 1: where I'm going to talk about loneliness today. We're going
Speaker 1: to talk about what it feels like to be lonely,
Speaker 1: why we feel lonely. Yeah, kind of darker, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I still think it's just such an important thing to
Speaker 1: talk about. I don't know what's going around in the
Speaker 1: world at the moment, but so many people, so many
Speaker 1: of my friends that I'm talking to, are really feeling
Speaker 1: this way. Have been having this feeling for a while,
Speaker 1: and I've been trying to put my finger on it
Speaker 1: because I'm in the same boat. And the thing that
Speaker 1: I've come to the conclusion is is that in your twenties, especially,
Speaker 1: everything is so transformative. Everything is changing, and the life
Speaker 1: that you had a couple of years ago, even six
Speaker 1: months ago, is not the same life that you have now.
Speaker 1: And as my friends are getting into their mid and
Speaker 1: late twenties, there's been some pretty major life adjustments, both
Speaker 1: positive and not not so much negative, but hard ones,
Speaker 1: difficult life changes, and I think that creates this sense
Speaker 1: of loneliness that so many people, and so many of
Speaker 1: my friends and I have been discussing recently, you know, moving,
Speaker 1: moving into new jobs, changing your life structure. Gone of
Speaker 1: the days when we were all in UNI or just
Speaker 1: out of high school, or in our first jobs or
Speaker 1: trades and had a lot of free time and had
Speaker 1: a lot of time to see each other to form
Speaker 1: new connections. We just had so many more opportunities to
Speaker 1: meet people and to feel seen and to feel understood,
Speaker 1: and we just don't have that anymore. A lot of
Speaker 1: my friends are getting their first full time jobs. That's
Speaker 1: like eight hours out of every day that now you
Speaker 1: spend with co workers instead of you know, your friends,
Speaker 1: instead of people that whose company you really enjoy. Maybe
Speaker 1: you love your coworkers, but I would say for the
Speaker 1: most part, it's a job. It's it's different to the
Speaker 1: people you'd choose. And the other thing I've noticed is
Speaker 1: a lot of my friends have gotten partners. And there's
Speaker 1: kind of two reasons. This creates like not a loneliness,
Speaker 1: but like a dynamic of like disconnect. Sometimes you know,
Speaker 1: you spend so much more time with your partner, that
Speaker 1: being one thing, and I guess if you don't do
Speaker 1: it right, you can end up feeling like you've lost people,
Speaker 1: feeling like you're missing out on fun things. And then
Speaker 1: for your friends, so like suff as myself. A lot
Speaker 1: of my friends have gotten partners recently or in the
Speaker 1: last year, and of course their life is going to
Speaker 1: be more centered around the people they're going to grow with,
Speaker 1: you know, romantically and intimately and build their lives with.
Speaker 1: And it can feel like you're quite on the out
Speaker 1: if you haven't found that person yet. And that's something
Speaker 1: I really want to discuss today because I've just been
Speaker 1: thinking about it a lot, and thinking about what it
Speaker 1: means to outgrow people, what it means to feel lonely
Speaker 1: after you've lost people, and does that really mean it's
Speaker 1: a bad thing. That's something that's been on my mind
Speaker 1: as I've moved, as I've grown, a lot of people
Speaker 1: just not in touch with anymore. And it means that
Speaker 1: the quantity of friends I have has reduced, but has
Speaker 1: the quality really reduced as a result as well. That's
Speaker 1: something we're going to tackle also. And the media, movies, films,
Speaker 1: how are they contributing to this kind of dialogue that
Speaker 1: to feel lonely is to be a failure, is to
Speaker 1: be alone, when that's not really the case. Yeah, just
Speaker 1: a lot of things. A less structured episode today, if
Speaker 1: that's what you like, or then you've chosen a great
Speaker 1: a great time to listen in. If not, we will
Speaker 1: be back with the highly researched episodes next week. But
Speaker 1: let's get into it. Let's get into my thoughts on
Speaker 1: the topic of loneliness. So I've been feeling lonely recently.
Speaker 1: Maybe you kind of got that from the first part
Speaker 1: of this episode, but I've been feeling really lonely and
Speaker 1: I've been trying to kind of come to terms with
Speaker 1: that and in some ways fix it, but also appreciate
Speaker 1: the emotion for what it is. Loneliness. These days, I
Speaker 1: think we have a tendency to really fear it, but
Speaker 1: we also feel a lot deeper and a lot stronger,
Speaker 1: and it's more kind of in our faces when we
Speaker 1: do feel like we're not surrounded by good people, are
Speaker 1: not supported, or don't have community because of social media.
Speaker 1: Seeing everyone else with their amazing bands of friends and
Speaker 1: doing incredible things, it makes the feeling you have within
Speaker 1: yourself a bit more bitter. It stinks, I think a
Speaker 1: little bit more, and I just don't think that's the
Speaker 1: right attitude to have. So for me, I've moved cities recently.
Speaker 1: It's meant that I've left a lot of my old
Speaker 1: friends behind and it really sucks. It really sucks because
Speaker 1: I'm an extrovert, I think, just in nature, and not
Speaker 1: having those people to talk to all the time, to
Speaker 1: fill my days with, to do fun things with, is
Speaker 1: really difficult, and it leaves you feeling like you're alone
Speaker 1: when that's possibly and most likely not the case. Loneliness
Speaker 1: hurts us so much because the absence of social connection
Speaker 1: it kind of triggers, doesn't kind of, It triggers the
Speaker 1: same primal alarm bells as hunger, first physical pain. Being
Speaker 1: surrounded by people, having a community, having social connections is
Speaker 1: as vital to our well being as you know, having
Speaker 1: a safe place to live, having food to eat, having
Speaker 1: a sense of security. We really can't understate how important
Speaker 1: it is to feel surrounded by those who you could
Speaker 1: lean upon, or just people who you have fun with.
Speaker 1: So this is what has what I think happens a
Speaker 1: lot in our twenties. You kind of do uni or
Speaker 1: you do your first job in a certain environment, and
Speaker 1: normally it's quite close knit, and then you move, people move,
Speaker 1: people change, people quit jobs, people get partners, people make
Speaker 1: new friends, and sometimes there's a gap between when you
Speaker 1: move on and others move on, or when you kind
Speaker 1: of make that leap before everyone else has, or alongside
Speaker 1: other people who you don't know about yet. And that's
Speaker 1: kind of the thing I've been experiencing. I talk to
Speaker 1: my friend Sydney about this all the time. If you're
Speaker 1: listening Sydney, love you to bits. But she had this experience,
Speaker 1: and I hope she doesn't mind me talking about it,
Speaker 1: because it is quite comforting to think about how much
Speaker 1: she's kind of grown and learned from the process when
Speaker 1: I'm kind of in my feels about it. But she
Speaker 1: moved to Melbourne last year. She moved away from camp
Speaker 1: which was where I met her, and her whole community
Speaker 1: was established here. She had had a partner here, she
Speaker 1: had friends here, she had work and family here. And
Speaker 1: she moved during lockdown, a terrible time, absolutely terrible time
Speaker 1: to move to a new city, and it meant that
Speaker 1: she was insidement that she didn't have the opportunity to
Speaker 1: meet new people. And as that was happening, Canberra, where
Speaker 1: she was originally from, wasn't in lockdown. Everyone was still
Speaker 1: going out, everyone was doing fun things. And I think
Speaker 1: I would be safe to assume that I would say that,
Speaker 1: you know, she felt lonely. And we talked about this
Speaker 1: a lot, because when I made the move to Sydney
Speaker 1: this year, I called her about her and I was like,
Speaker 1: I just find it it's really hard to make friends.
Speaker 1: It's really hard to meet people that you feel a
Speaker 1: kinship with. And she was like, you just have to.
Speaker 1: She almost gave me like almost like a doctor's orders.
Speaker 1: She was like, you've just got to say yes to everything,
Speaker 1: go out and do things alone. Just be your just
Speaker 1: be your own self. If you want to go to
Speaker 1: an event, go by yourself. You'll meet people. And I
Speaker 1: was like, well, first off, that is incredibly courageous and
Speaker 1: very brave. I don't know if I can do that,
Speaker 1: but I did it, and I've been trying to. I've
Speaker 1: been really trying to do that, and she's absolutely right.
Speaker 1: But that's like, it's not always as simple as that,
Speaker 1: and it takes time, I think as well. And that
Speaker 1: time in between when you really start putting yourself out
Speaker 1: there and when you do make those new friendships and
Speaker 1: those new connections is really isolating. I think that it's
Speaker 1: very easy to get into this mindset of like there
Speaker 1: is an equation to fix loneliness. There's two issues with that. Firstly,
Speaker 1: loneliness is like any other emotion that we feel. There
Speaker 1: is this saying in psychology that if it didn't serve
Speaker 1: a value, if it didn't have a purpose, it wouldn't exist.
Speaker 1: And loneliness, I think really fits that description. Because although
Speaker 1: our first kind of inclination is to flee from loneliness,
Speaker 1: to stay connected with people whose company we don't enjoy,
Speaker 1: to stay in relationships with people who don't fulfill us,
Speaker 1: to stay comfortable, loneliness serves a really great purpose because
Speaker 1: it makes you want to reach out, it makes you
Speaker 1: want to make new friends, and it's a really defining
Speaker 1: emotion of growth, I think. I think also films and
Speaker 1: movies profit off this idea of loneliness is kind of
Speaker 1: like a disease. It's a disaster. It should be avoided
Speaker 1: really well, really really well. And like I can think
Speaker 1: of a couple like Bridget Jones is Diary. That movie
Speaker 1: is terrible, terrible, but the main crux of her loneliness
Speaker 1: she doesn't have a romantic partner. That's something I see
Speaker 1: in media and like specifically like films and entertainment all
Speaker 1: the time. This idea that if you haven't met the
Speaker 1: love of your life, if you don't have like fifty
Speaker 1: amazing friends who are going to go clubbing with you
Speaker 1: and always answer your phone calls, like you should feel lonely.
Speaker 1: You should feel bad about yourself, You should feel like
Speaker 1: everyone else is having more fun than you, has better
Speaker 1: friends than you, has more friends than you, and it's
Speaker 1: not the case. The one part about that I find
Speaker 1: the most issue with is this idea that if you
Speaker 1: don't have a romantic, long term relationship, you should feel lonely.
Speaker 1: And I really resent that because I don't think that
Speaker 1: that's the case. And I also don't think that having
Speaker 1: a partner or having someone you know romantically in your
Speaker 1: life is really going to make you feel any better.
Speaker 1: If anything, it's just going to make you more dependent
Speaker 1: on them for a sense of support and a sense
Speaker 1: of connection when you may have benefited more from building
Speaker 1: on current connections or creating new community. It's really a
Speaker 1: band aid fix, and it's set saying if like, you know,
Speaker 1: you can only love someone as much as you love yourself,
Speaker 1: and it's you can only you know, there's only so
Speaker 1: much that a partner can do for you in terms
Speaker 1: of kind of reducing that of loneliness and that feeling
Speaker 1: of not having someone. I think relationships are a quick fix,
Speaker 1: quite honestly, there's such a quick fix, and it's so
Speaker 1: easy to be in a situation where you feel isolated
Speaker 1: and you don't feel supported and kind of jump to
Speaker 1: the first person who shows you affection or validation or attention.
Speaker 1: I've been there, I've done that. I don't recommend because
Speaker 1: the only thing it's going to do is draw you
Speaker 1: away from the people who you already have, and it's
Speaker 1: going to make you more invested in that person, perhaps
Speaker 1: in an unhealthy way, when it would probably have been
Speaker 1: better for you to sit with that emotion, come to
Speaker 1: terms with it, and to have built the community, to
Speaker 1: have made new friends, to have put yourself out there
Speaker 1: rather than kind of closed yourself off. This is not
Speaker 1: to say that you can't be lonely and have a relationship,
Speaker 1: or if you're lonely and the right person comes along,
Speaker 1: like you should flee and you should absolutely say no
Speaker 1: because you could become And that's not what I'm saying
Speaker 1: at all. I just think sometimes relationships work best when
Speaker 1: you are your best self, and if you feel like
Speaker 1: you're lacking something or missing something and that person is
Speaker 1: going to feel it for you, it's not always going
Speaker 1: to be the best long term solution. What if they're
Speaker 1: not there, the fear of losing them will be stronger
Speaker 1: because they're satisfying a need that until that point you
Speaker 1: haven't been able to get elsewhere or at least for
Speaker 1: a while. I think it's quite dangerous, wouldn't probably recommend it,
Speaker 1: But also I do understand this need to like latch
Speaker 1: onto someone else. I think they're always going to be
Speaker 1: periods of really hard loneliness in our twenties because of
Speaker 1: just the universal nature, the universal kind of state of change,
Speaker 1: and that there's fluctuations that all of us are kind
Speaker 1: of pushed into as we try and establish our own lives.
Speaker 1: Separate from our parents, separate from our family is, separate
Speaker 1: from our universities, from our jobs. We try and branch out,
Speaker 1: and there isn't always going to be a place for
Speaker 1: you to slop right into, and sometimes it takes a
Speaker 1: little bit of effort. The other thing that really contributes
Speaker 1: to loneliness, I think in our twenties is that it's
Speaker 1: so natural and it's just a god given truth that
Speaker 1: you're going to lose people. You're going to lose friends,
Speaker 1: lose touch with people, feel like, you know, a bit
Speaker 1: of a diminishing in connection with people that you have
Speaker 1: been friends with previously. I think in our twenties it's
Speaker 1: it's kind of the chance, it's a beautiful decade to
Speaker 1: get to try on different identities and to get to
Speaker 1: try on, you know, different versions of ourselves who connect
Speaker 1: with people for different reasons. But as you grow up
Speaker 1: and as you figure out more of who you actually are,
Speaker 1: there's people who you are previously friends with no longer
Speaker 1: really fit that profile anymore. They no longer really fit
Speaker 1: into your identity. It's totally normal to lose friends. If
Speaker 1: you're not losing friends, you're not growing as a person.
Speaker 1: But it can sting. It can really hurt because you
Speaker 1: loved them and they served a purpose in your life,
Speaker 1: and also because they're just another form of social connection.
Speaker 1: Even if you're feeling that relationship decaying or you know
Speaker 1: you don't have as much to talk about anymore, you
Speaker 1: hang out with them and you don't always leave feeling amazing.
Speaker 1: It's really hard to let go of those people because
Speaker 1: you don't want to be alone. You don't want to
Speaker 1: you don't want to get to the end of the
Speaker 1: line and be like, oh, you know, I dumped all
Speaker 1: these people, or like all these people kind of fizzled
Speaker 1: out and now I have no one. But here's the thing,
Speaker 1: there is no point staying in friendships or relationships that
Speaker 1: no longer serve you. All it's going to do is
Speaker 1: it's not weigh you down, because I don't think people
Speaker 1: weigh you down, but take up space or out already
Speaker 1: pretty busy lives that may have been better used by
Speaker 1: someone else. It's not a crime, it's not a sin
Speaker 1: to recognize that you and someone else are not the
Speaker 1: same people anymore. You don't fit into each other's lives
Speaker 1: as easily anymore, and to just allow both of you
Speaker 1: to move on and to find people who do, to
Speaker 1: give them the space to discover people who are better
Speaker 1: suited to them, there's no point being bitter about it.
Speaker 1: I think you know I've had this happen a lot
Speaker 1: of times, and I'm sure you have as well, or
Speaker 1: if you haven't, you will. Like no one is going
Speaker 1: to grow and develop an exact parallel to you on
Speaker 1: the same kind of wavelength and the same timeline, there
Speaker 1: is going to be discrepancies between where someone else is
Speaker 1: at and where you're at. And maybe they're just in
Speaker 1: your life for a couple of months and they served
Speaker 1: a really amazing purpose. Maybe they're there for a few years,
Speaker 1: maybe they're like your lifelong best part, But you can't
Speaker 1: keep every person you were friends within, you know, when
Speaker 1: you were like eighteen at thirty, it's just not possible
Speaker 1: because you need to be able to create new relationships
Speaker 1: and there's only so much time you have in your day.
Speaker 1: I think a really good indicator of when it is
Speaker 1: time to maybe start not so much pulling away, but
Speaker 1: start creating space for new people is when you feel
Speaker 1: lonely when you're around someone else, when the connection is
Speaker 1: now missing. And I had this with a friend, and
Speaker 1: I really love them dearly. For so long we were
Speaker 1: such good buddies, but that we were really good friends
Speaker 1: for that part of our lives, and during that time
Speaker 1: we were going through the same stuff, we were doing
Speaker 1: the same things, we had the same schedule. And then
Speaker 1: when those things started to fall away, you realize that
Speaker 1: it's not that you don't have anything in common, and
Speaker 1: it's not that that's a bad thing. It's not that
Speaker 1: they were a bad person. Our life just weren't in
Speaker 1: line anymore. And it's okay to be like, that's well,
Speaker 1: I'm just going to let you go and let you
Speaker 1: have the best life you can have, even if I'm
Speaker 1: not in it. But there's still space there and I
Speaker 1: think that's where that lonely feeling comes from, because they
Speaker 1: still occupied your mind even if you weren't having like
Speaker 1: the best time, you still enjoyed their company, Like you're
Speaker 1: still friends with them for a reason. But it's it's
Speaker 1: good not to hold on to that just because you're
Speaker 1: afraid of being alone. It's like almost like I think
Speaker 1: I had this for a while where I would hoard people.
Speaker 1: I would like hoard them because almost like someone you
Speaker 1: know keeps keeps like inanimate objects or just like random objects,
Speaker 1: arbitrary things, because they're always worried of like, oh what
Speaker 1: if one day I might need this? And this is
Speaker 1: like something with hoarding if you've ever watched like that
Speaker 1: show about holders, where they're like, but what if one
Speaker 1: day I really need this incredibly specific tak or like
Speaker 1: this really specific piece of blue tak or this really
Speaker 1: specific piece of kitchen ware, And I can't let that
Speaker 1: go because then I'll be without and I won't be
Speaker 1: prepared for whatever the situation deals me. The thing is
Speaker 1: you will be, You absolutely will be. And it's the
Speaker 1: same with friendships. Sometimes you keep people around because you're
Speaker 1: worried about what it would mean if they weren't there,
Speaker 1: and you're worried about what if one day I turn
Speaker 1: around and I do really need them. And that's where
Speaker 1: the fear of loneliness, I think, really starts to build
Speaker 1: and bubble. I guess I've been rambling for a while.
Speaker 1: And if you found yourself on this episode, what did
Speaker 1: you expect? No, just kidding. It's just one of those days,
Speaker 1: you know, just one of those feelings, and I think
Speaker 1: it's important to share it and to feel like other
Speaker 1: people understand this, because I think that's what I would
Speaker 1: like and what I look for. You know, I don't
Speaker 1: know if you're like this, but or what I'm feeling,
Speaker 1: like a specific emotion or a feeling. I always like
Speaker 1: look up podcasts about that, like using keywords, because it's
Speaker 1: always comforting to know that others are feeling that way
Speaker 1: as well. The thing about losing people and about growing
Speaker 1: and feeling lonely is that from pain and from hurt
Speaker 1: comes like the most amazing renaissance of growth and of
Speaker 1: just prosperity. And I really believe that. I think that
Speaker 1: that is the sole purpose of really hard times in
Speaker 1: our life, is it makes us stronger and it creates
Speaker 1: a bedrock of kind of inner strength and inner reliability
Speaker 1: and perseverance and independence that is just invaluable later in
Speaker 1: your life. That's invaluable at any point in your life.
Speaker 1: And it really is kind of blessing to get to
Speaker 1: go through periods of suffering knowing what comes out at
Speaker 1: the other end, knowing that you know you've really been
Speaker 1: forged in the fire. So from loneliness and pain, I
Speaker 1: guess comes growth. That's what I'm trying to say, It comes,
Speaker 1: you know, from it. Also, there's an appreciation of the
Speaker 1: people who are around you. I promise if you're feeling lonely,
Speaker 1: you're not alone. And I know that sounds so cliche,
Speaker 1: but sometimes I just sit back and I just make
Speaker 1: a mental list of the people who I love and
Speaker 1: who I could call and who would be there for me.
Speaker 1: And it's always so much longer than I think it's
Speaker 1: going to be. I'm always like, I've really got like
Speaker 1: two friends, and then you're like, no, I don't like
Speaker 1: these people. I like. I appreciate them so much. And
Speaker 1: it's the quality of the friendships, not the quantity, that
Speaker 1: matters so much more to me. Now that is just
Speaker 1: so much more important, And maybe that's like, the solution
Speaker 1: is just having absolute and just insatiable gratitude for what
Speaker 1: you do have in your life, for the people who
Speaker 1: you do have, for the people who love you, for
Speaker 1: those rare people who have grown in the exact same
Speaker 1: like incomplete unison with you as a person. It's just
Speaker 1: like wonderful And it's made so much more wonderful when
Speaker 1: you don't have the fluff, when you don't have all
Speaker 1: those extra items or extra people surrounding you or in
Speaker 1: your life. Who I mean, you can spend you can't
Speaker 1: spend as much quality time with those people, Like it's
Speaker 1: just like a moment of paying but also a moment
Speaker 1: of gratitude to recognize that as well. And the other
Speaker 1: thing that really kind of helps me is just knowing
Speaker 1: that the only thing in life that's promised is change
Speaker 1: and is the movement of time. And even if you're
Speaker 1: not feeling like amazing right now, isn't that just the
Speaker 1: best thing about time? It always moves forward, There's always
Speaker 1: going to be changed, there's always going to be improvement
Speaker 1: to your life, and even if things get bad, it
Speaker 1: means that eventually they will get better. Things do not
Speaker 1: stay terrible and awful for long, and I think about
Speaker 1: that a lot. I think about it all the time,
Speaker 1: especially right now. And you know, I think about it
Speaker 1: every time I say yes to something that I kind
Speaker 1: of don't want to go to, Like this could be
Speaker 1: the moment where like you meet like the new amazing
Speaker 1: person who just fulfills all your needs and who's just
Speaker 1: like incredible, and you know, a new best friend, or
Speaker 1: who just meet someone who have a great conversation with
Speaker 1: and it makes you feel more connected and more understood.
Speaker 1: There's this TikTok that I like to watch sometimes and
Speaker 1: it says you haven't yet met all the people in
Speaker 1: your life who you will love. Isn't that just the
Speaker 1: most beautiful thing ever? You haven't yet met all the
Speaker 1: people in your life who you will love and who
Speaker 1: you will invest in and who will invest in you,
Speaker 1: and you won't get to meet them if you spend
Speaker 1: you know, time feeling sorry for yourself. Yes, there's space
Speaker 1: for pity, there's space for sadness, this space for grief
Speaker 1: and for pain. But at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: you can't really be in that state for too long.
Speaker 1: You can't stay there forever. It's not a home for you.
Speaker 1: You've got to keep growing and keep pushing and know
Speaker 1: that they are amazing people around the corner who will
Speaker 1: welcome you and support you and understand you. And isn't
Speaker 1: that just the most beautiful promise that the world gives us.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to that. I'm just sitting at this lake.
Speaker 1: I'm sitting in nature. I went for this beautiful walk
Speaker 1: today and it always makes me feel better moving my body,
Speaker 1: getting out, getting outdoors. That's the beautiful thing about nature.
Speaker 1: It doesn't care who you are, it doesn't care what
Speaker 1: you're feeling. It's ruthless to everyone, regardless of your past,
Speaker 1: of your future, of how you're feeling in the moment,
Speaker 1: of those you've hurt, of those who've hurt you. It's
Speaker 1: just like the great equalizer. I think so. Maybe that's
Speaker 1: also a tip for dealing with loneliness. Get outside, say
Speaker 1: yes to everything and get outside. There's my tip. One
Speaker 1: of those is on behalf of Sydney Love you. Thanks
Speaker 1: for contributing to this episode if she's listening. But if
Speaker 1: you're feeling this way, I want to send you love.
Speaker 1: You're not the only one. I guess that's the thing.
Speaker 1: You can feel less lonely. In the note in the
Speaker 1: knowledge that you're not the only one feeling lonely. There's
Speaker 1: a whole club of us, and it's just a moment.
Speaker 1: It's just a feeling. It always gets better, it really does.
Speaker 1: I remember feeling so keenly lonely at the start of
Speaker 1: my third year of UNI and saying my boyfriend at
Speaker 1: the time, like, all I want is some new friends.
Speaker 1: I just need new friends. I'm so lonely, I feel
Speaker 1: so alone. And yeah, I took a couple of months,
Speaker 1: it took like half a year, but then all of
Speaker 1: these are people started showing up, and you know who
Speaker 1: those people are. Now those are some of my closest friends.
Speaker 1: I'm going to see one of them as we speak.
Speaker 1: Right after I finished recording this, and I met her
Speaker 1: because she asked for something that I put up on
Speaker 1: Facebook marketplace, and we kind of knew each other, but
Speaker 1: not really, and I was like, I'll give it to
Speaker 1: you for free, just take me out for brunch. And
Speaker 1: we went out for brunch. And now she is one
Speaker 1: of my closest friends and just most loyal companions and
Speaker 1: strongest relationships I have, And I really hope it's like
Speaker 1: that for the rest of our lives. So everything does
Speaker 1: improve slowly, it might take time, but there are so
Speaker 1: many people out there, so many people out there who
Speaker 1: are going to appreciate just everything about you, and even
Speaker 1: the things you might not like about yourself they may love.
Speaker 1: And that's just such a good feeling to hold onto
Speaker 1: and to know that time moves on, things change and
Speaker 1: you won't feel like this forever anyhow. Kind of a
Speaker 1: sad episode, honestly, but also which is what I kind
Speaker 1: of like to bring to the podcast. I've talked about
Speaker 1: so many things like toxic relationships and unrequited love. This
Speaker 1: is just the next one on the list. I feel like,
Speaker 1: how could I not talk about loneliness at some point
Speaker 1: on this podcast. But thank you for listening. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much, and if you feel inclined, please feel free
Speaker 1: to leave a review of the podcast on Apple Podcasts
Speaker 1: or Spotify, leave a five star rating, follow us on
Speaker 1: Instagram as well. It really helps the podcast grow. It
Speaker 1: helps these kinds of I would say, intimate, vulnerable conversations
Speaker 1: reach the ears of people who maybe need to hear it.
Speaker 1: And if you've listened this far, maybeare share that on
Speaker 1: If you've gotten anything from it, share the word, Tell
Speaker 1: your friends, and thank you again for listening. Love you guys,
Speaker 1: lots have a beautiful week.