Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties,
Speaker 1: the Very Unprofessional podcast, whereby I your unqualified guide talk
Speaker 1: through some of the big changes and transitions of our
Speaker 1: twenties and what they mean for our psychology. This week,
Speaker 1: we're discussing a pretty big buzzword in social psychology at
Speaker 1: the moment and over the past ten years, FOMO, or
Speaker 1: fear of missing out. So this term, it's risen pretty
Speaker 1: steadily in popularity within the past few years, and it's
Speaker 1: become a term I'm sure we all know pretty well
Speaker 1: and a feeling I'm sure we've all felt before as well.
Speaker 1: So FOMO refers to this overwhelming feeling of anxiety that
Speaker 1: an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere
Speaker 1: and you're not invited, not included. It can often be
Speaker 1: aroused by your post you see on social media or
Speaker 1: other forms of social triggers, so it's a sense that
Speaker 1: people elsewhere having fun or doing things without you. Pretty
Speaker 1: quickly we can see how this has links to social
Speaker 1: anxiety and has a huge intersection with psychology, despite being
Speaker 1: somewhat of a pop culture phrase in its current use.
Speaker 1: But we're going to discuss some of the psychological underpinnings
Speaker 1: of fomo, why it's so prominent in our twenties, possible remedies,
Speaker 1: and its origins. We're also going to discuss how fomo
Speaker 1: has been exacerbated by social media, so why social media
Speaker 1: is so harmful for our social and emotional well being,
Speaker 1: its addictive properties as well, and how fomo is part
Speaker 1: of that equation as well as being a consequence. So
Speaker 1: let's get into it. So fomo or the fear of
Speaker 1: missing out, is a feeling or a state of mild anxiety.
Speaker 1: I'm sure we've all felt at some point in our twenties.
Speaker 1: Perhaps it's been stronger at times. I think in this
Speaker 1: period of life, we are often surrounded by a lot
Speaker 1: of dense and varied social groups for muni, college to work, sports,
Speaker 1: and we have pretty large, extended social circles. So it
Speaker 1: can be pretty difficult to feel comfortable in the amount
Speaker 1: you're socializing, especially with this ability to compare to others
Speaker 1: and whether people are doing things without you or you
Speaker 1: are being excluded. Our twenties they are such a socially
Speaker 1: fast paced and chaotic time and we do feel that
Speaker 1: pressure to get the most out of our younger years
Speaker 1: and have those fun bonding moments and experiences with friends
Speaker 1: that we can hopefully look back on later in life.
Speaker 1: This is entirely a natural feeling. Wanting to be included
Speaker 1: and enjoy your life and be surrounded by people that
Speaker 1: you like and feel wanted by is normal and it's
Speaker 1: also pretty healthy. We like the company of others and
Speaker 1: we enjoy being liked as well. So that's why that
Speaker 1: feeling that you are missing out on social experiences can
Speaker 1: be so daunting for many and create pretty intense feelings
Speaker 1: of insecurity, anxiety, self doubt as well. So I've kind
Speaker 1: of mentioned this already, but fomo it's not so much
Speaker 1: a scientific fic term, but more of like a cultural
Speaker 1: one at the moment. However, since we have been able
Speaker 1: to label it, because these feelings have been around for
Speaker 1: many people in past generations, but with this label, it
Speaker 1: has kind of become a source of research, particularly it's
Speaker 1: undeniable links to social media and its ability to confront
Speaker 1: us with all the experiences we may be missing out on.
Speaker 1: Maybe I think it's probably I've kind of mentioned what
Speaker 1: it fomo is about, but it's probably good to define
Speaker 1: what it really means to begin. So a recent study
Speaker 1: on the subject came up with a definition that has
Speaker 1: become somewhat standard in psychological communities. So it described fomo
Speaker 1: as the uneasy and sometimes all consuming feeling that you're
Speaker 1: missing out, that your peers are doing, in the know about,
Speaker 1: or in possession of more or something that's better than you.
Speaker 1: So under this framing of fomo, their study concluded that
Speaker 1: nearly three quarters of young adults have experienced the phenomenas,
Speaker 1: so at least enough that they can actually recognize those
Speaker 1: nervous and anxious feelings. But I'm sure that statistic would
Speaker 1: be much higher if we also assessed people in contexts
Speaker 1: when they kept personal journals, or if they were asked
Speaker 1: more frequently, maybe once a week or even once a month,
Speaker 1: whether they had had an instance of fomo. Because this
Speaker 1: feeling of social exclusion and insecurity can be so uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: I'm sure that many others who have occasionally experienced it
Speaker 1: likely suppressing the discomfort, so probably wouldn't even realize that
Speaker 1: they have felt that unease that they're missing out. So
Speaker 1: the fear of missing out, it's closely linked to a
Speaker 1: mild form of social anxiety and might be more common
Speaker 1: in those with generalized anxiety disorder so JD FOMO. It's
Speaker 1: accompanied by feelings of self consciousness, of unease, and concern
Speaker 1: about feeling socially out of place, and these all overlap
Speaker 1: with a particular form of social anxiety. A really good
Speaker 1: episode by MPRS The Hidden Brain, which is a really
Speaker 1: good podcast if you are joying these p calast It
Speaker 1: discussed this link between FOMO and social anxiety. So in
Speaker 1: all their experiments they found that FOMO is a function
Speaker 1: of a particular anxiety that something might happen in a
Speaker 1: group experience that will shape the group history in the future,
Speaker 1: and that means you might not be a part of
Speaker 1: that group as much as you would like to be,
Speaker 1: and it will undermine your group belonging. This because of
Speaker 1: something that's happened in a situation when you're not there.
Speaker 1: This can therefore contribute to a lot of fear of
Speaker 1: future situations in which you may feel judged or isolated
Speaker 1: because you didn't participate in that previous social event. This shows,
Speaker 1: I think how anxiety and FOMO are directly related to
Speaker 1: social vulnerability about current and future social settings in which
Speaker 1: we do crave to be included and accepted. FOMO it's
Speaker 1: not in the DSM. So the DSM, we've talked about
Speaker 1: this before, it's the largest manual of all mental health disorders.
Speaker 1: Fomo isn't in there, but social anxiety is. And although
Speaker 1: I've mentioned how they could be linked, they are distinct
Speaker 1: and I don't think they should be confused. For one,
Speaker 1: FOMO concerns fear of being excluded from a social situation.
Speaker 1: It's the fear of not being in that social situation
Speaker 1: and therefore maybe involves a tendency towards hyper and excessive socialization,
Speaker 1: whereas social anxiety is more commonly involves an avoidance of
Speaker 1: social situations or a fear of being in a social
Speaker 1: situation that you can't get out of. But we can
Speaker 1: kind of see how FOMO may contribute to social anxiety.
Speaker 1: So people with social anxiety, which is a diagnosable disorder,
Speaker 1: they have an intense fear of situations where they could
Speaker 1: be watched, judged, embarrassed, or rejected by others, and the
Speaker 1: symptoms are so extreme that they interfere with the person's
Speaker 1: daily routine and prevent them from taking part in ordinary activities.
Speaker 1: In contrast, FOMO is not diagnosable in a professional sense.
Speaker 1: It also concerns a fear of not being present in situations,
Speaker 1: whereas social anxiety involves that fear that kicks in once
Speaker 1: we're in them. So there are some tenuous links between
Speaker 1: social anxiety and this fear of missing out. They're both
Speaker 1: directly related to relationships and the social element of our psychology.
Speaker 1: But foma seems to be its own class of anxiety
Speaker 1: and our needs. It's important to know why it occurs
Speaker 1: from a psychological perspective before we can grasp on to
Speaker 1: how to minimize it. So let's dive into the possible
Speaker 1: causes and what the literature says about this universal fear
Speaker 1: of missing out. Firstly, many theories have hypothesized that fomo
Speaker 1: emerges from a pre existing insecurity or unhappiness. Those who
Speaker 1: we are experiencing low levels of satisfaction around fundamental needs
Speaker 1: for competence, autonomy, and relatedness, they tend towards higher levels
Speaker 1: of fear of missing out as to those who have
Speaker 1: lower levels of general mood and overall life satisfaction. It
Speaker 1: does appear that the root of fomo is not so
Speaker 1: much about anxiety, but it's more to do with loneliness,
Speaker 1: low self esteem, low self compassion, if you're more satisfied
Speaker 1: with your life, not just your social relationships. Researchers have
Speaker 1: found that you're less likely to have experience as a fomo,
Speaker 1: even if you are confronted by the idea that you
Speaker 1: are potentially missing out on an experience or something you'd
Speaker 1: like to be included in in that way. Kind of
Speaker 1: interpretation I have of that is that emotions associated with fomo,
Speaker 1: they're more of a proxy for deeper dissatisfaction with one's life,
Speaker 1: and the experiencing of the experience of missing out may
Speaker 1: also just serve to reinforce previous negative emotions and self perceptions,
Speaker 1: hence why it can be so overwhelmingly and overall a
Speaker 1: distressing experience. Another interesting study I looked into it discussed
Speaker 1: how humans appreciate gains versus losses as an explanation for fomo.
Speaker 1: So research suggests that people are twice as affected by
Speaker 1: losses as they are gains. So it makes sense that
Speaker 1: our instinct is to avoid the pain of missing out
Speaker 1: and dwell on those defeats when we do, and it
Speaker 1: also suggests why this feeling can be stronger than the
Speaker 1: actual gains we get when we are socializing or we
Speaker 1: are included. This also ties into a more traditional evolutionary
Speaker 1: perspective that kind of explains why we do feel a
Speaker 1: loss when we aren't enjoying the company of those we'd
Speaker 1: like to be around. Essentially, we're pack animals, and in
Speaker 1: the past, our survival was intimately linked to being surrounded
Speaker 1: by others of our species. That's why that discomfort we
Speaker 1: feel with foma. It may have actually originated from this
Speaker 1: deep root of fear of danger or threat, and that
Speaker 1: we might be less equipped to deal with those threats
Speaker 1: when we're alone or not in a group. So, if
Speaker 1: our natural tendency is towards being around others as towards
Speaker 1: being included and being in a community because of the
Speaker 1: survival mechanism, it does explain why missing out can be
Speaker 1: such a tremendous stress for some. So, if our brains
Speaker 1: are hardwired towards social interaction and a sense of belonging,
Speaker 1: and we receive a benefit or a gain from socializing,
Speaker 1: which in turn creates the idea of loss when we
Speaker 1: aren't socializing, that just creates the foundation for fomo. It's
Speaker 1: not really your fault, it's genetics, it's biology. It's that
Speaker 1: instinct in you to want to be included and want
Speaker 1: to be accepted. But let's kind of introduce the next
Speaker 1: evil that is particularly dominant amongst those in their twenties,
Speaker 1: social media. Social media has been a large focus amongst
Speaker 1: psychologists who've been investigating fomo for many obvious reasons. The
Speaker 1: rapid growth of social media over the last decade has
Speaker 1: established an entirely new medium for human interaction. So Twitter, Facebook, Instagram.
Speaker 1: They've allowed people in every corner of the world to
Speaker 1: be connected twenty four seven, and it also allows people
Speaker 1: to share, you know, the best and greatest moments of
Speaker 1: their life with essentially everyone they know for public viewing. Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't think it's just me. You know you've seen
Speaker 1: an Instagram story of people hanging out and you felt
Speaker 1: a sense of fomo despite you know, you might be
Speaker 1: busy yourself or being around you might be around others
Speaker 1: whose company you actually really enjoy. But if you're already
Speaker 1: not feeling like so hot about things, or if you're
Speaker 1: wondering if everyone else is having more fun than you,
Speaker 1: social media is not really the antidote. So researchers are
Speaker 1: finding that the fear of missing out is connected to
Speaker 1: social media use. These feelings strongly correlate to feelings of
Speaker 1: regret and social insignificance as well. As people consume large
Speaker 1: amounts of social media posts, they start to compare themselves,
Speaker 1: not only physically as we would traditionally think, but also socially.
Speaker 1: Researcher who does a lot of work on this his
Speaker 1: name's doctor Barry, and he talks a lot about FOMO
Speaker 1: and internet use, and he explains the link between the
Speaker 1: two pretty excellently. So we're not all equally prone to
Speaker 1: the fear of missing out, but for those who are,
Speaker 1: social media can exacerbate it. So if we're thinking about
Speaker 1: some of those discussions of the origins of social media
Speaker 1: or the origins of fomo, if you're already feeling insecure
Speaker 1: or insignificant, social media is kind of like the fuel
Speaker 1: on the pre existing fire, and it's because it allows
Speaker 1: you to kind of observe what other people are doing
Speaker 1: and what's going on in their lives at any time
Speaker 1: of the day. So if there is already that concern
Speaker 1: about missing out, then there will be distress it seeing
Speaker 1: that on social media because it reconfirms fears and insecurities
Speaker 1: that were pre existing. So kind of social media kind
Speaker 1: of acts like a trigger. So that's the first direction
Speaker 1: of the relationship between social media and this fear of
Speaker 1: missing out, whereby social media, like I said, acts as
Speaker 1: a trigger, but fear of missing out can exist independently
Speaker 1: of social media, and it can alternatively kind of act
Speaker 1: as that primary urge to check social media, so it
Speaker 1: creates a self fueling cycle. It doesn't just work in
Speaker 1: one direction. So in one study, FOMO amongst young adults
Speaker 1: between nineteen and twenty four was robustly associated with social
Speaker 1: media engagement, and a similar study run in parallel, so
Speaker 1: I think they were like sister studies. It found that
Speaker 1: fear of missing out played a key role in explaining
Speaker 1: social media engagement over and above any other factor that
Speaker 1: was considered. So those high in FOMO, they tended to
Speaker 1: use Facebook more often immediately after waking up, before going
Speaker 1: to sleep, during meals, at work, in the bathroom, all
Speaker 1: of those kind of habits that create a dependency on
Speaker 1: social media and make it more of a lifestyle rather
Speaker 1: than just something that is an addition to your life.
Speaker 1: So essentially, preliminary feelings of missing out it leads people
Speaker 1: to check social media more frequently, as it can be
Speaker 1: comforting because if you don't see people hanging out, it
Speaker 1: kind of disproves those in those internal feelings. However, when
Speaker 1: you do see an image or a post to indicate
Speaker 1: that you're not being included, it can only serve to
Speaker 1: hurt you more. But it also reconfirms that that fear
Speaker 1: you are having, You know you weren't crazy, that it
Speaker 1: was legitimate, which can also be comforting in itself. And
Speaker 1: we all know that social media it's not a balanced
Speaker 1: picture of people's lives. It is a cherry picked, edited,
Speaker 1: perfect version. And even if we recognize that in ourselves
Speaker 1: that we put filters on our photos, we only choose
Speaker 1: the best images, We only post when we're out with
Speaker 1: people and having fun. You know, we're selective. It's hard
Speaker 1: to apply that logic evenly to others. We really just
Speaker 1: can't help but compare, especially from a point of social
Speaker 1: comparison as well. So people who use social media more
Speaker 1: frequently have a higher probability of comparing their achievements and
Speaker 1: their bodies and their social lives with those of others.
Speaker 1: And that passive consumption of social media content also correlates
Speaker 1: to a marginal increase in depression and unhappiness as well,
Speaker 1: which we already know actually does predispose someone to a
Speaker 1: fear of missing out. So it all becomes more and
Speaker 1: more related the more you look into the direction of
Speaker 1: the relationship between a fear of missing out and social media.
Speaker 1: So even if we logically know that what we see
Speaker 1: on Facebook or Instagram isn't accurate, we're still confronted with
Speaker 1: a perfectly curated version of others lives, and it does
Speaker 1: create an unachievable false social reality that can exacerbate an
Speaker 1: already vulnerable self esteem. You just can't compete with someone's
Speaker 1: highly edited depiction of their life, especially when you're feeling
Speaker 1: a little bit down or anxious to begin with. So
Speaker 1: how do we overcome fomo? How do we overcome this
Speaker 1: sense that we're missing out, this sense of insidious kind
Speaker 1: of social anxiety, because it can feel, like i say,
Speaker 1: quite insidious, especially in socially claustrophobic environments that sometimes dominate
Speaker 1: our twenties, like graduate programs, uni colleges, sports teams. We
Speaker 1: can see the evident links to social media usage firstly
Speaker 1: and its origins in a more general sense of inadequacy
Speaker 1: and unhappiness, as well as the explanation that fomo is
Speaker 1: also a variant of social anxiety. So with that in mind,
Speaker 1: maybe an attentional model is the best antidote or provides
Speaker 1: the best insight into a cure, even though it's not
Speaker 1: a diagnosable illness. Yeah, just something to soothe those kind
Speaker 1: of worries. So most attentional models of mental wellbeing, and
Speaker 1: I love an attentional model of mental wellbeing. I think
Speaker 1: that kind of spot on. But they often put forward
Speaker 1: the theory that our happiness it's directly caused by how
Speaker 1: we allocate our attention. So one researcher puts it perfectly
Speaker 1: in an article they wrote about fomo in your twenties.
Speaker 1: When you attend, what you attend to drives your behavior,
Speaker 1: and it determines your happiness. Attention is the glue that
Speaker 1: holds your life together. The scarcity of attentional resources means
Speaker 1: that you must consider how you can make and facilitate
Speaker 1: better decisions about what you pay attention to and in
Speaker 1: what ways. If you're not as happy as you could be,
Speaker 1: then you must be misallocating your attention. So changing behavior
Speaker 1: and enhancing happiness is as much about withdrawing attention from
Speaker 1: the negative as it is about attending to the positive.
Speaker 1: So that might seem quite broad, and it can be
Speaker 1: applied to many other facets of our lives in our
Speaker 1: early twenties, but let's think about it in the context
Speaker 1: of this anxiety or fear of missing out. Firstly, the
Speaker 1: more time you spend consuming social media, the more of
Speaker 1: your attention is devoted to this cherry picked highlight reel
Speaker 1: of others lives, and this will control how you formulate
Speaker 1: your own vision of your life, especially your social life,
Speaker 1: and it can cause you to set up unrealistic expectations
Speaker 1: about what others are doing and how your own interactions
Speaker 1: should compare. So focus on being present in the experience
Speaker 1: you're in rather than what you might be missing out on.
Speaker 1: And since social media is the most prominent point of comparison,
Speaker 1: limiting its use is actually probably pretty useful for also
Speaker 1: minimizing feelings of POMO. Secondly, place greater attention and focus
Speaker 1: on the moments when you do feel present, when you
Speaker 1: do feel included and you're happy, and who you are
Speaker 1: around in those situations where you have those positive feelings,
Speaker 1: who really brings that out in you? This will create
Speaker 1: greater satisfaction In general, all, and it does also allow
Speaker 1: you to be less concerned about what others might be
Speaker 1: doing without you if you're surrounded by people whose company
Speaker 1: you really value. But obviously, just a big, big disclaimer,
Speaker 1: I'm not a professional. I'm just an amateur kind of
Speaker 1: applying my own interpretation of some of these psychological theories.
Speaker 1: But I think this fear of missing out is universal
Speaker 1: amongst twenty something year olds, which is kind of ironic,
Speaker 1: you know, considering we're all feeling the same way about
Speaker 1: the situations we're in, and we're currently envious of someone
Speaker 1: else who might be envious of us. So maybe that's
Speaker 1: where the greatest piece kind of comes from. If you
Speaker 1: are around people you enjoy and you're grateful for, it
Speaker 1: will become harder for those feelings of missing out to
Speaker 1: come up. And if you realize that others also have
Speaker 1: those feelings, kind of puts things in perspective that no
Speaker 1: one is having any more fun than anyone else anyhow.
Speaker 1: Finishing that up on a bit of a sappy note there,
Speaker 1: hope you've learned something and could relate to some of
Speaker 1: the experiences that we've discussed in this slightly shorter episode.
Speaker 1: It was actually super fun to look into this, especially
Speaker 1: having experienced this quite often in my first year of UNI.
Speaker 1: So it's nice actually to look back and realize I'm
Speaker 1: not in that place anymore, and those feelings of fomo
Speaker 1: for me have kind of lessened since I've gotten such
Speaker 1: better friends and valued my social interactions by their quality
Speaker 1: rather than their quantity. But thanks for tuning in. Next week,
Speaker 1: we have a lovely, lovely guest on the show for
Speaker 1: our second Let's Get Friendly episode, and after that we're
Speaker 1: going to be talking about the psychological concept of flow,
Speaker 1: which is one I'm really really looking forward to, so
Speaker 1: I'm excited. I hope you guys are as well. Remember
Speaker 1: to subscribe to us on Spotify or Apple podcast, wherever
Speaker 1: you get your podcast, give us a follow on Instagram,
Speaker 1: and yeah, stay tuned for future episodes. Thanks again for
Speaker 1: listening in and IP you have an incredible wake by