Speaker 1: But of course, of course you have come to the
Speaker 1: internet in order to find me. Rolandoys here waiting for you.
Speaker 1: Now come close, put your ear next to me and listen.
Speaker 2: Let me do all of the word ha. You sit
Speaker 2: back and laugh. You know, in some cities they don't
Speaker 2: prosecute misdemeanors.
Speaker 3: What do they do.
Speaker 2: It's just a steady stream of people running out of
Speaker 2: a CVS with their hands full of appliances and toothpass.
Speaker 4: Like.
Speaker 2: Even if they're caught and arrested, there's a high probability
Speaker 2: that they're gonna end up just doing it all over again.
Speaker 5: Yeah, just find me. I'll be back tomorrow.
Speaker 3: The system can't take it all, you know.
Speaker 2: So the question is how do you change bad behavior?
Speaker 5: I still don't.
Speaker 2: Obviously, authorities in Taiwan came up with an ingenious way
Speaker 2: of getting people who were busted drunk driving to try
Speaker 2: and reflect on what they did.
Speaker 3: Okay, is it one of those classes you have to take?
Speaker 2: I said, ingenius.
Speaker 6: Oh sorry, even if.
Speaker 2: They didn't hurt anyone in the process, anybody caught under
Speaker 2: the influence operating a motor vehicle in Taiwan is now
Speaker 2: required to spend fifteen hours cleaning a local funeral parlor.
Speaker 5: Oh wow, that.
Speaker 3: Got dark quick.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're already dead broke now they just have to
Speaker 2: clean the place.
Speaker 7: I know, But what if, like fifteen hours is a
Speaker 7: lot of time. I feel like by the end of
Speaker 7: fifteen hours you get kind of immune to it.
Speaker 6: Saying hi to the corpses like.
Speaker 5: Spit shineing the tomb.
Speaker 3: At some point you have to get desensitized.
Speaker 6: Saying may backfire.
Speaker 2: Well, it's already about it, seen it, seen dead people before.
Speaker 6: I just think an hour would be more effective.
Speaker 2: So the thinking behind this is if you spend a
Speaker 2: long amount of time being so close to death, it
Speaker 2: makes you rethink your life. And so far it looks
Speaker 2: like it's kind of working. One of the accused drunk
Speaker 2: drivers said, spending so much time there felt disturbing. I
Speaker 2: really need to be more careful when driving in the future.
Speaker 2: It teaches me not to drink and drive. Bystanders were
Speaker 2: quick to notice the man appeared to be drunk when
Speaker 2: he gave that stag, but.
Speaker 6: He wasn't driving, He wasn't driving walking.
Speaker 2: But seriously, all eleven offenders expressed deep remorse for their actions,
Speaker 2: and they swore to never drink and drive again.
Speaker 7: My dad always tells me this story that his buddy's
Speaker 7: dad owned a funeral home and they used to party
Speaker 7: in it when they were in high school, and they
Speaker 7: would put beer cans in the body's hand.
Speaker 2: I'm with you.
Speaker 5: It's a great idea.
Speaker 2: Send a bunch of people with a history of drinking
Speaker 2: and making horrible decisions into a funeral.
Speaker 6: My dad would make it fun.
Speaker 2: Anyway, Let's move on. Let's get into the shock collar
Speaker 2: question of the day with mutiple of names. Today we don't.
Speaker 8: Every morning we start off the show by exercising your
Speaker 8: bumpy and exhausted brains with a trivia question. But today
Speaker 8: we're gonna do things a little bit different. Three of
Speaker 8: you will not be answering the question, but the same
Speaker 8: three will still be at risk of being shocked as
Speaker 8: we play. Are you smarter than a twenty four year
Speaker 8: old fifth grader?
Speaker 9: Four year old in this situation?
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, goes.
Speaker 8: Here's how it works. One by one, You'll each learn
Speaker 8: the category of the trivia question. For example, I'll say geography.
Speaker 8: Then you have to tell me if you think our
Speaker 8: resident twenty four year old Alexus with a fifth grade
Speaker 8: education will get the geography trivia question correct or incorrect.
Speaker 8: I like, if you pick right, you're safe, but if
Speaker 8: you're wrong, you'll be getting shocked, and no help is
Speaker 8: allowed for us.
Speaker 9: I always try bok.
Speaker 8: The first category is math. Will Alexis get a fifth
Speaker 8: grade math question? Right or wrong?
Speaker 7: You know the thing about Alexis is she's a jock, right, Like,
Speaker 7: she's a classic jock.
Speaker 2: Jock.
Speaker 7: Yeah, she was a she was an athlete in college.
Speaker 7: You know, like college athletes.
Speaker 10: Don't really jock isn't really a picture A jock a
Speaker 10: picture a very different images.
Speaker 7: So right now I'm not feeling great, but I do
Speaker 7: remember that she knew pie to the tenth number.
Speaker 3: She did, Yes, so I'm gonna say she's gonna get
Speaker 3: it correct.
Speaker 8: Al right, all right, Alexis, here's your question. Okay, if
Speaker 8: a football field is one hundred yards long, how many
Speaker 8: feet is it?
Speaker 11: Uh?
Speaker 9: Oh? All right, it's the brook I'm gonna break it
Speaker 9: to you now.
Speaker 12: The reason I was a call major so that I
Speaker 12: didn't have to take math in college. Okay, Well, now,
Speaker 12: one hundred yards oh a yard stick? I remember those
Speaker 12: from school. Yeah, I feel like those are like three
Speaker 12: feet actually, now that I say that, Okay, you.
Speaker 2: Can't help her.
Speaker 9: No one is allowed to help one hundred yards.
Speaker 2: Stop writing the answer down on a piece of paper,
Speaker 2: answer three hundred.
Speaker 8: The correct answer was three hundred's right. Book is safe
Speaker 8: for now, Jose, I'm gonna help her. The next category
Speaker 8: is classic literature. Will Alexis get a fifth grade question
Speaker 8: about classic literature?
Speaker 5: Right or wrong?
Speaker 11: So?
Speaker 5: Fifth grade? Like, I know, obviously she doesn't know a lot,
Speaker 5: but I feel like if it's a fifth grade question,
Speaker 5: it could be.
Speaker 13: Like a very easy like Romeo and Juliet is the
Speaker 13: answer and she'll get it.
Speaker 5: But I don't think she reads a lot of literature.
Speaker 9: Neither do you.
Speaker 5: She's going to get it incorrect?
Speaker 8: Okay, no faith? All right, Alexis, here's your question. Who
Speaker 8: is the author behind the classic literary characters Tom Sawyer
Speaker 8: and Huckleberry Finn.
Speaker 9: I have literally no idea, I know, Okay.
Speaker 12: I'm trying to think of books that forced us to
Speaker 12: read in school, and I can't think of any I
Speaker 12: don't even know a famous author, like, I literally can't
Speaker 12: think of the basic authors.
Speaker 2: I can't think of any author's name.
Speaker 9: No, only Harry Potter, Lady, That's all I know. K
Speaker 9: I literally can't think of the author Lewis Smith.
Speaker 8: The correct answer was Mark Twain.
Speaker 9: That does sound familiar.
Speaker 2: The hair Jeffery. The final she's getting it wrong.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 5: It's literally like running.
Speaker 8: Give me a chance to think. The final category is science. Well,
Speaker 8: let's get a fifth grade question about science, correct or incorrect?
Speaker 2: What do you learn in science in fifth grade?
Speaker 3: I think it depends on if it's like when we
Speaker 3: were in fifth grade or now.
Speaker 2: They're actually launching things into orbit in fifth grade?
Speaker 14: Yeah, I mean they're coding, and what do you want
Speaker 14: them to do?
Speaker 15: They got it.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go with she's gonna get this wrong still, Alexis,
Speaker 2: here's your question, what species can survive on both land
Speaker 2: and water?
Speaker 9: Gosh? I literally don't even know the options. I wish
Speaker 9: this was like a multiple choice. I don't even know
Speaker 9: what species I'm picking between.
Speaker 12: Okay, well, I can't think of any other species besides reptiles,
Speaker 12: so that's all I have.
Speaker 8: The correct answer was amphibious. All of you are safe,
Speaker 8: then correctly guess Alexis either be right or wrong.
Speaker 2: Three different times while singing this song.
Speaker 5: It's absolutely true.
Speaker 2: I hate this game, Alexis, You're gonna get shocked, and
Speaker 2: you're gonna saying one of your favorite songs of all time,
Speaker 2: Old McDonald.
Speaker 9: Oh, seriously, McDonald, how to farm.
Speaker 11: Eyai Yai.
Speaker 9: Yai yai, the more and the moo moo, hear a mood.
Speaker 9: There a moon everywhere on moon.
Speaker 2: If they put shot collars in schools, then kids, that's
Speaker 2: what we should do. That's a shock collar question of
Speaker 2: the day.
Speaker 11: Good work, Alexis brooking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 2: Laser stories is coming up in just a few minutes.
Speaker 2: But first Laurel or Yanny, Blue dress or gold dress.
Speaker 2: Those are the debates that raged on the internet, and
Speaker 2: today people have a brand new thing to fight over online.
Speaker 2: It's a soccer crowd chant that's been going viral on
Speaker 2: TikTok okay. The question is what exactly are they saying?
Speaker 7: Oh, I'm so bad to figure out these chance I'm
Speaker 7: always chanting something wrong?
Speaker 2: Is it Bart Simpson bouncing?
Speaker 16: Okay, I'm never going to hear anything else?
Speaker 2: Is it this isn't my receipt?
Speaker 14: WHOA I heard this?
Speaker 6: Bart Simpson bouncing?
Speaker 2: Is it baptism piracy? A lot of pirates baptism? Or
Speaker 2: is it Naze's embarrassing. It's whatever you say. Honestly, that
Speaker 2: clip has been viewed twelve million times in just three days.
Speaker 14: But I heard it all.
Speaker 7: Yeah, what do you do when you're in that crowd?
Speaker 2: Do you just say text into seven A five nine
Speaker 2: to tell us what you hear when we play the clip.
Speaker 13: Here.
Speaker 2: We got Laser Stories coming up next. It's the radio
Speaker 2: segment that follows us on Facebook, TikTok and Instagram at
Speaker 2: Brook and Jeffrey. But we had to block him from
Speaker 2: our Twitter, Yeah, because he kept sending us pictures of
Speaker 2: his dry macaroni and cheese trying to get Alexis hot.
Speaker 3: It almost hop Yeah.
Speaker 2: Sorry. That's Laser Stories, the segment where we read news
Speaker 2: stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except
Speaker 2: we have a laser and those other front trucks just don't.
Speaker 2: This first Laser story is out of Philadelphia. A twenty
Speaker 2: nine year old guy named Jacob McFarlane walked into an
Speaker 2: Adult World video superstore and started perusing the aisles.
Speaker 7: Why is it only adults, jeff, I want to know
Speaker 7: why it's in the news.
Speaker 3: I'm guessing something bad happened When he came.
Speaker 2: To the adult toy section and saw two things that
Speaker 2: interested him. Okay, one is a very popular toy for men,
Speaker 2: which I can't say on the radio. The other one
Speaker 2: is called auto blow AI. Oh you blow dryer brock? Yes, yeah,
Speaker 2: I could say auto blow AI. What the other one
Speaker 2: must have? Anyway, he grabbed both, put them in his backpack,
Speaker 2: and walked right out. But unfortunately for Jacob, the cash
Speaker 2: here knew exactly who he was because he'd recently applied
Speaker 2: for a job at that store.
Speaker 7: Oh my god, dude, Jason, you could have had an
Speaker 7: employee discount on the So the cashier.
Speaker 2: Caught up with him in the parking lot and put
Speaker 2: him in a headlock.
Speaker 3: Oh and he liked it.
Speaker 5: Then yeah, he's like, yeah, don't spank me.
Speaker 2: And then Jacob threatened to stab him. Oh he let
Speaker 2: go and they called the cops, but fair question. Not surprisingly,
Speaker 2: they found Jacob at a hotel around the corner, and
Speaker 2: the adult toys that he stole were still in his backpack,
Speaker 2: along with a knife. So he was arrested and he's
Speaker 2: now facing robbery charges.
Speaker 17: Wow.
Speaker 3: Do you think they put stolen items just back up
Speaker 3: on the shelf.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: A local reporter who covered the story was quoted as
Speaker 2: saying I'm no criminal mastermind, but it probably helps if
Speaker 2: the place you're robbing doesn't have your name and address
Speaker 2: on file.
Speaker 10: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Literally, This next Lazer story is out of New York,
Speaker 2: New York. How involved do you want your mom to
Speaker 2: be in your dating life?
Speaker 6: It was how you do, especially if she's like Brook.
Speaker 2: If you're like thirty year old Molly Simmons, then a
Speaker 2: lot would be your answer, because recently she allowed her
Speaker 2: mother to rent out a date my Daughter billboard in
Speaker 2: the middle of Times Square O.
Speaker 11: Day.
Speaker 2: So the billboard features a picture of Molly and a
Speaker 2: link to her dating profile, and then just below her
Speaker 2: pick sits a small photo of her mom.
Speaker 3: Oh weve the mom even made the billboard.
Speaker 7: Yep, like I may if they didn't put the mom's
Speaker 7: picture up there.
Speaker 2: She even calls herself Molly's wingman.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, okay, I will say.
Speaker 7: I mean it is a benefit to know what the
Speaker 7: mom looks like, because if you're in it for the
Speaker 7: long haul, that's what you're gonna you know.
Speaker 11: You know.
Speaker 2: The mother daughter duo got their first chance to see
Speaker 2: the forty seven by twenty five foot sign recently, and
Speaker 2: they said they both jumped up and down with excitement.
Speaker 3: Yeah she was happy.
Speaker 9: Yeah, Yeah, she better pick a good photo, you know.
Speaker 2: Mollie said, I'm letting my mom have the fun of
Speaker 2: filtering through profiles and responses, and her six one year
Speaker 2: old mother, Beth is loving it.
Speaker 7: Yeah, because it sounds like Beth is living vicariously and
Speaker 7: maybe doesn't want to be married pretty much.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she says she's looking for someone who's smart, kind
Speaker 2: and humorous for her daughter, adding someone with the essence
Speaker 2: of Chris Hemsworth of Ryan Reynolds with the body to boot.
Speaker 3: You're saying she's not too picky.
Speaker 2: Molly says she's hoping the right person will be confident
Speaker 2: enough to not be dissuaded by the unorthodox Billboard.
Speaker 3: Okay, enough to have a really involved mother a lot.
Speaker 11: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Nothing screams stable like your mother putting your Billboard, dating
Speaker 2: profile and Time Square.
Speaker 7: This would be your mom's dream, Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2: This next Leisure story is out of Invention Headquarters. Your
Speaker 2: days of wondering what the delicious food on cooking channels
Speaker 2: taste like may well be over because a Japanese professor
Speaker 2: has developed a prototype of a lickable TV screen cray smelling.
Speaker 3: Taste that is so dirty to me.
Speaker 2: You're probably wondering how it works. Well, first of all,
Speaker 2: the taste is not like inside the TV. What happens
Speaker 2: when you order the lickable product is you get a
Speaker 2: plastic film that you layer onto a flat screen television
Speaker 2: along with ten different flavor canisters which you spray onto
Speaker 2: it in an attempt to recreate the taste of the
Speaker 2: food item on the screen.
Speaker 3: Wow, I'm gonna say, go back to the drawing board
Speaker 3: on this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean once you spray it down. After that,
Speaker 2: you just let the tongue do what the tongue wants.
Speaker 2: A twenty two year old's college student named Yuki how
Speaker 2: did a demonstration for a news report by watching a
Speaker 2: man bake a chocolate cake on TV and then squirting
Speaker 2: flavor canisters all over the plastic sheet attached to the
Speaker 2: screen after licking it for what reporters said seemed like
Speaker 2: five minutes.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, it feels like your tongue is raw by
Speaker 3: the end.
Speaker 2: Of the Yuki said quote, it's kind of like milk chocolate.
Speaker 7: Oh okay, yes, I think they just need to get
Speaker 7: Guy Fieri involved in this, you know, yeah, Screen to
Speaker 7: Flavor Town.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, I mean can you imagine walking in on somebody
Speaker 2: just like on their TV screen?
Speaker 5: Someone walked in on me to be like jose stoned again.
Speaker 2: Device is called Taste the TV or tt TV.
Speaker 5: No, every like this is such a bad.
Speaker 2: Thing and if it's crowd funded successfully would be solved
Speaker 2: for over one thousand dollars a piece. It's not a TV.
Speaker 2: Keep in mind, it's just a screen that goes over.
Speaker 3: Can we use the crowd fund money for something better?
Speaker 18: Yeah, you.
Speaker 5: Give me the smell.
Speaker 2: Just wait till Christmas, till your daughter's asking for a
Speaker 2: t T TV.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: His next laser stories out of the study of hot
Speaker 2: if someone says you're around a six on a scale
Speaker 2: of one to ten, is that considered an insult or
Speaker 2: a compliment?
Speaker 3: Depends on who's saying It's not.
Speaker 2: Hard If an ugly person says it, it's like, who cares?
Speaker 5: I mean, you're not.
Speaker 7: I mean you could say that they're jealous, right, so
Speaker 7: that's why they dowlerated you.
Speaker 2: Well, a recent poll found that's what the average man
Speaker 2: rates himself. Six technically a five point nine out of ten.
Speaker 6: What would you guys?
Speaker 3: Would you guys give yourself?
Speaker 5: I give myself an eight because of my personality.
Speaker 3: Oh well, I like them, and I.
Speaker 5: Think I'm like a seven like you look at me.
Speaker 5: Oh but you know, I think I'm a happy, fun guy.
Speaker 6: And then I go up to Jeffrey.
Speaker 2: I think it depends on the day of the week.
Speaker 3: Okay, but I was.
Speaker 7: Going to say, you're personality dropping you down.
Speaker 6: You're a hot guy, but you end up at eight
Speaker 6: just like jose Just start talking.
Speaker 2: Okay, we're going to move on before the tears come
Speaker 2: out any men. By the way, we're pulled in this note,
Speaker 2: fort of guys said that they're happy with the way
Speaker 2: that they look overall, but still giving themselves under a
Speaker 2: six rating.
Speaker 5: Oh but I have a good now. I lost a
Speaker 5: lot of weight and stuff.
Speaker 3: I like that about you.
Speaker 2: It also found sixty two percent of men wish they
Speaker 2: were taller. But the other top things that they're insecure
Speaker 2: about are as follows their weight, their lack of muscle tone,
Speaker 2: their abs or lack of abs, their teeth, and then
Speaker 2: finally their hair. Those are the biggest insecurities. And that's
Speaker 2: why this guy waxes his shell regularly so he doesn't
Speaker 2: have to deal with all the haters.
Speaker 14: Like I think those days easily and half.
Speaker 2: Your all over the place, Brookey. That's how means Laser
Speaker 2: Stories has come to an end for the big We'll
Speaker 2: do it again same time On Wednesday, Brooke.
Speaker 11: And Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 2: We got an email over the weekend from a guy
Speaker 2: who says he hurt himself on the Loser Line recently.
Speaker 7: Oh, no money, do we apologize now?
Speaker 2: He wasn't angry. He just told us that his new
Speaker 2: year's resolution is to be single no more.
Speaker 3: Okay, good for you.
Speaker 2: How's he going to do that? He actually gave himself
Speaker 2: a checklist and he shared it with us. Number one
Speaker 2: was weear even more pungent cologne than he wore last.
Speaker 5: I mean yeah, I'm sure the girls can smell you about.
Speaker 2: Number two was save more money to take girls on
Speaker 2: better dates by not tipping the waiters anymore. You were
Speaker 2: almost he was almost to a good point there, Like
Speaker 2: there's logic behind it, says.
Speaker 3: It says you. I mean that makes that checks out, Jeffrey.
Speaker 2: And number three on his list was just two words
Speaker 2: in all caps, stool softener?
Speaker 3: Did we have to?
Speaker 2: Why do I have a feeling that this guy is
Speaker 2: still gonna be on today's Loser line again.
Speaker 5: Well, he could be a stoolmaker.
Speaker 3: He also makes soft you mean like a chair stool?
Speaker 19: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Right, What did you think, bro, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think I like that. Yeah, that's the type of
Speaker 2: positivity that Oh you're a brand new batch of messages.
Speaker 2: That's happening. It's seven ten. What's would you.
Speaker 11: Wait a minute?
Speaker 3: Is this the right number?
Speaker 11: It's the loser line. Good, just call me back.
Speaker 2: If you haven't heard the loser line before. It works
Speaker 2: like this. Let's say someone approaches you while you're out
Speaker 2: at the club and uses this charming pick applying on you.
Speaker 20: Hmmm, oh my god, sorry, I just gets something about
Speaker 20: you makes me want to go to sleep with you.
Speaker 2: Whatever you do. What is this the urge to call
Speaker 2: up his mommy and tell her to come pick him up. Yeah, Instead,
Speaker 2: say you've got the coolest Darth Vader candle collection back
Speaker 2: of your place, and he has to call you some
Speaker 2: time if he wants to talk about it. That's when
Speaker 2: you give him the digits to the loser line. So
Speaker 2: hopefully he leaves us an awkward voicemail that we can
Speaker 2: play on the air for you. Voicemails like this one.
Speaker 4: Hey, Angela, it's I don't want to tell you what's
Speaker 4: really going on in the world. It's kind of like
Speaker 4: the matrix theory. But our bodies are actually they're not
Speaker 4: really our bodies. We're like in these models right now.
Speaker 4: We actually, if we really looked at it, we're like
Speaker 4: goofy cocoons instead of these bodies that were actually in
Speaker 4: So I would love to explain you some detail. But
Speaker 4: like for example, if I were to hook up with
Speaker 4: you and I give you, I don't know, an STD
Speaker 4: or something, the real you wouldn't actually get it. It
Speaker 4: would be the goofy cocoon you that we would have
Speaker 4: to worry about, not the actual body model part of you.
Speaker 4: I would love to explain this whole in detail. Please
Speaker 4: give me a callback.
Speaker 15: Next message.
Speaker 6: Explained he.
Speaker 7: Needs an upgrade on his body cocoon model if it's
Speaker 7: given out STD.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm going to go out on a limb here
Speaker 2: and say that I don't think he has an STD.
Speaker 5: I think he's just.
Speaker 2: Talking theoretically, like down the road. Hypothetically, one day he
Speaker 2: doesn't have an STD, just his alien cocoon body might
Speaker 2: be like I.
Speaker 3: Have cocoon, you know, cocoon media cocoon.
Speaker 10: A next message.
Speaker 21: Hey, Luke, I know that we've been flirting for a while.
Speaker 21: I just wanted to rede message and tell you that
Speaker 21: the reason why I'm attracted to you is because you're
Speaker 21: lean and I you know, I have curved So I
Speaker 21: just I really like a guy where I feel like,
Speaker 21: you know, I might break you, so when I get together,
Speaker 21: you won't be drinking too much water, because I like
Speaker 21: a guy that's dehydrateded me break.
Speaker 3: I've never I've always been scared to date anyone.
Speaker 7: I'm like, oh my god, my husband, He's gonna be
Speaker 7: able to fit in my jeans.
Speaker 6: Yeah, she's the opposite.
Speaker 5: I've never heard a girl be like, oh, I like
Speaker 5: a brittle bully.
Speaker 2: Put that on your dating profile, your interest, what you're
Speaker 2: looking for? Smart, funny, dehydrated?
Speaker 10: Next, pick can this from the other night and listen.
Speaker 10: I know that this might this might sound kind of
Speaker 10: kind of weird. It's not like a creepy fetish thing
Speaker 10: or anything like that, but you actually look just like
Speaker 10: my high school crush who I was obviously crazy about.
Speaker 4: And my high.
Speaker 10: School reunion is coming up, and I was wondering if
Speaker 10: there was any chance that you would uh that you
Speaker 10: would go with me because I just, I mean, I
Speaker 10: really think that would kind of teach my my crush
Speaker 10: Danielle to just say no to me at prom, you know,
Speaker 10: to show up with a woman who looks just like
Speaker 10: her all this time later, so you know, it's like,
Speaker 10: who's got to back me now, Danielle. Anyway, again, not
Speaker 10: not trying to be weird. I just was wondering if
Speaker 10: you could possibly do this one thing for me. I
Speaker 10: can't wait to hear back from you. Have a good one.
Speaker 2: Next message sounds like something every woman wants to get
Speaker 2: involved in. Yeah, high school drama.
Speaker 7: And that's not the lesson that she's going to learn
Speaker 7: his own crush. She's going to learn that he's so
Speaker 7: obsessed and crazy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, or go to the reunion.
Speaker 17: Next message, Hey Carrie, it's from the bar the other night.
Speaker 17: It was really cool meeting you. Sorry, I just uh,
Speaker 17: I keep on remembering. I guess what you kind of
Speaker 17: told me that you were into, like romantically, and uh,
Speaker 17: I gotta be honest. Like my first reaction, I was like,
Speaker 17: that sounds gross, But I'm thinking about it again, and
Speaker 17: I feel like I'm at that age now where I.
Speaker 22: Should probably try something right and if I don't like it.
Speaker 17: You know, I don't like it, but but hell so
Speaker 17: you know, I actually have a question. What were you after?
Speaker 4: Like, do we cuddle?
Speaker 17: Because I just feel like you would lose all respect
Speaker 17: for me. But maybe that's part of the appeal. I
Speaker 17: don't know, I do anyway, Yeah, just give me a
Speaker 17: call back. And this funnel rolling? Man, Man, I don't
Speaker 17: know what I'm saying.
Speaker 11: Rolling?
Speaker 6: Did you propose?
Speaker 15: I don't know.
Speaker 5: That's what I strive for.
Speaker 13: I want us to never be able to look at
Speaker 13: each other in the eyes again.
Speaker 2: That's right. If afterwards you have any self respect left,
Speaker 2: you're doing it.
Speaker 3: He just wants to be in the fetal position crying.
Speaker 9: I don't know.
Speaker 5: It should be the only time I want to take
Speaker 5: a shower.
Speaker 2: Remember that's the Loser line. You can listen to it
Speaker 2: regularly at this time every week. Got your phone tap
Speaker 2: coming up next?
Speaker 11: Freaking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 2: What would you do if you worked in a medium
Speaker 2: sized office with like one hundred or so people? What
Speaker 2: and you got a call from someone in a different
Speaker 2: department on another floor. Are you whispering?
Speaker 19: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I would just answer the phone, jeff What I'm saying?
Speaker 2: And you answer it, and it's the new guy and
Speaker 2: he's worried that he's about to lose his job. Whoa less?
Speaker 2: You help him?
Speaker 22: Oh?
Speaker 5: I still don't know where we're with.
Speaker 3: I don't know. But are you gonna help a new guy?
Speaker 2: Do you do it?
Speaker 6: I help him?
Speaker 5: Yeah, of course you help him.
Speaker 2: Well, no, you don't help him.
Speaker 5: Oh, never do that.
Speaker 2: That's why I have to frame this lady, because I
Speaker 2: knew she wouldn't help me.
Speaker 5: You're gonna frame somebody.
Speaker 2: She hit it coming. You'll hear how she reacts in
Speaker 2: your brand new phone tap.
Speaker 3: You're starting to turn into Batman.
Speaker 2: It's right now. Mornings on the twenties. Hello, Hey, is
Speaker 2: this a lease over an accounting?
Speaker 11: Yes?
Speaker 15: Who's calling?
Speaker 2: My name is Simon. I just I started here a
Speaker 2: few days ago. I workover in marketing.
Speaker 15: Hi Simon, Uh Hi, why are you so quiet?
Speaker 2: I kind of need this to be a private conversation.
Speaker 15: Okay, cool? Is there is everything all right?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm in a weird situation. Do you
Speaker 2: know Hector?
Speaker 15: Yes, worked with him for years, great guy.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So I was talking to him and he told
Speaker 2: me you're the trustworthy person in the whole office.
Speaker 15: Oh well, that's very nice of them. Yeah, so again,
Speaker 15: how can I help you?
Speaker 2: Well, I think corporate is going to fire me. What
Speaker 2: I'm really scared?
Speaker 15: But why you just started?
Speaker 2: It's kind of a long story, but it started with
Speaker 2: my orientation and they told me they were going to
Speaker 2: drug test me.
Speaker 15: I mean that is normal. They drug test everybody here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know that's what Hector said, but I wish
Speaker 2: I would have talked to him or to you first
Speaker 2: before I did what I did. Now I'm in trouble.
Speaker 15: I don't even know if I want to know the
Speaker 15: answer to this. But have you done drugs lately?
Speaker 10: Like?
Speaker 15: Are you worried about getting caught?
Speaker 2: Oh? No, the opposite, I've never done them.
Speaker 15: Okay, I don't understand. Then what's the problem.
Speaker 2: Can you keep this between us.
Speaker 15: As long as you're not telling me something illegal?
Speaker 21: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Well, I mean I don't know the law on this.
Speaker 2: But earlier today I brought a plastic bag into HR
Speaker 2: and I set it down on the desk and side
Speaker 2: the bag was my hat with p on it. What
Speaker 2: I know, I didn't understand what HR told me because
Speaker 2: I thought they said I would need to pee in
Speaker 2: a cap. So that's what I did. But you know,
Speaker 2: I guess maybe some sort of misunderstanding.
Speaker 15: You're you peed on your own hat and put it
Speaker 15: on a desk in HR.
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, but Hector told me they probably meant I
Speaker 2: need to pee in a cup and I just misheard it.
Speaker 15: They definitely meant p in a cup.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I mean I know that.
Speaker 11: Now.
Speaker 15: You never have seen like a show where someone was
Speaker 15: drug tested or.
Speaker 2: No, never, I don't watch TV.
Speaker 21: I mean, good for.
Speaker 15: You, that's great, But can you go back and get it?
Speaker 11: Like?
Speaker 2: I can't? Why because they seem angry with me. I
Speaker 2: can't go back over there. They've already emailed me three times.
Speaker 2: Oh God, they're telling me to come in and they
Speaker 2: want to talk to me. Well, I think you want
Speaker 2: to get fired.
Speaker 15: You need to go in. I don't think I can
Speaker 15: help you with this. You've got to go in and talk.
Speaker 5: You can't.
Speaker 2: No, No, See, the thing is, this is why I
Speaker 2: called you, because the company trusts you. So you can
Speaker 2: say that you did it as a joke. Well, then
Speaker 2: you probably won't get in trouble because they like you.
Speaker 15: No, that's that's not a good idea and that's not happening.
Speaker 15: Why would you think I would fall on your sword
Speaker 15: for you here.
Speaker 2: Because Hector said you were nice and trustworthy.
Speaker 15: I mean, I am nice and trustworthy, but I'm not
Speaker 15: an idiot. I don't even know you.
Speaker 17: Are you?
Speaker 2: Are you saying that I'm an idiot?
Speaker 15: To be honest, I don't think it was the smartest
Speaker 15: thing in the world to pee on a baseball cap
Speaker 15: and leave it on someone's desk. I don't even understand
Speaker 15: how you could think that would work.
Speaker 2: I'm already passing that now, so I had to do
Speaker 2: some quick thinking. That's why I already sent an email
Speaker 2: to HR explaining things, What do you mean I told
Speaker 2: them that you pede on my hat? What you left
Speaker 2: it on HR's desk as a joke?
Speaker 15: Are you kidding me?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 11: I did.
Speaker 15: Why would you do that? That's a lot You've never
Speaker 15: even met me?
Speaker 2: Okay, but yeah, my job.
Speaker 15: You pede on a hat and left it on a desk,
Speaker 15: and now you told HR it was me.
Speaker 2: You don't understand my circumstances. We have ten hungry kids
Speaker 2: at home.
Speaker 15: That's your problem. That's not my problem.
Speaker 2: You don't care.
Speaker 15: I decided no, I do not care. I have my
Speaker 15: own obligations.
Speaker 2: I wonder if corporate knows they have a child hater.
Speaker 15: I'm going to walk up to your office right now,
Speaker 15: get you, and we're walking to HR together. I don't
Speaker 15: care if I have to drag you by your ear.
Speaker 15: If you were worried about getting fired before, I'm going
Speaker 15: to get you fired.
Speaker 2: At least my kids pee on hats all the time.
Speaker 15: Well that's disgusting.
Speaker 2: It's totally fine.
Speaker 15: That's disgusting, and you need to raise them better. But
Speaker 15: nobody's gonna believe that I peed on a hat. And
Speaker 15: if you've already gotten all these emails from HR, they're
Speaker 15: going to clearly see that you did just to frame me.
Speaker 15: Ill do you think you are?
Speaker 2: Oh? Who I really am? That's easy. My name is
Speaker 2: jeff and I've worked for the radio show Broke and
Speaker 2: Jeffrey in the Morning.
Speaker 11: What.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is a brank phone call. Yeah, I'm serious.
Speaker 2: We're doing a phone tap on you. Elise Hector set
Speaker 2: you up. Oh my god, sorry to freak you out there.
Speaker 15: Oh god, I used words, Yeah you do.
Speaker 2: No, it's so at least I think it's so interesting
Speaker 2: that you would hate on somebody with ten hungry children
Speaker 2: at home.
Speaker 15: That's too many children. If you said eight, I would
Speaker 15: have believed you. But ten is a lot.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, well I only love eight of them. Does
Speaker 2: that count?
Speaker 15: Yes, that does count.
Speaker 11: The week every morning was phone taps weekday mornings on
Speaker 11: the twenties, Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.
Speaker 2: Have you ever been on a first date with someone
Speaker 2: and said this phrase in your head?
Speaker 11: Uh?
Speaker 2: Is this a joke or is this seriously happening right now? Oh,
Speaker 2: it doesn't just apply to every Saturday night Alexis goes
Speaker 2: out and tea bones several parked vehicles. No, Alexis, don't
Speaker 2: get excited about that. This is some demolition Derby City edition.
Speaker 2: I'm talking about a date that happened recently between one
Speaker 2: of our listeners and a woman, and it could be
Speaker 2: the biggest Twilight Zone experience we've ever had on this show.
Speaker 2: That was pretty good that you're gonna hear it in
Speaker 2: a second date update coming out. It's gonna be creepy
Speaker 2: next second date up date. Normally, when we hear about
Speaker 2: amazing first dates on this show, it's this big, elaborate
Speaker 2: tale that went to multiple locations and lasted across several days.
Speaker 3: Yea, it costs tons of money because.
Speaker 2: The two of them just you know, couldn't bring themselves
Speaker 2: to walk away from each other. But is it possible
Speaker 2: to have a life changing first date that only lasts
Speaker 2: thirty minutes? Oh?
Speaker 5: I meant something for me.
Speaker 2: I can squeeze one life changing date in in thirty
Speaker 2: seconds because I'm fish. But it's not about me. It's
Speaker 2: about Connor because he's on the phone right now, and
Speaker 2: I just hope that we can help him. Connor, what's good?
Speaker 4: Man?
Speaker 22: Hey, thanks for having me. I know the way you
Speaker 22: set that up, man, she sound really extra?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Is that you sound pretty extra? In dramatic for sure? Connor?
Speaker 3: Do you not stand by Jeff's statement?
Speaker 22: I mean, look, I mean, if I'm on this show,
Speaker 22: I have to be at least a little bit. I
Speaker 22: normally wouldn't do this, but I just met this girl,
Speaker 22: and I've never caught feeling for somebody this twitch, and
Speaker 22: I feel like if I don't do everything I can
Speaker 22: to at least try to figure out why I'm not
Speaker 22: hearing that from her, then I'm doing myself a disservice.
Speaker 2: Right and grow, Yes, exactly, So tell us about this
Speaker 2: woman who just changed your life. What's her name?
Speaker 22: Her name is Renee?
Speaker 3: Okay? Okay, and how'd you meet.
Speaker 22: Her the most romantic way possible? Online? Of course?
Speaker 3: I mean did you know when you saw online that
Speaker 3: she was like I mean, you're describing her so been incredible.
Speaker 22: Right, yeah, Like I don't believe I like love that
Speaker 22: first sight or anything like lost at first sight.
Speaker 17: For sure.
Speaker 22: This was something like almost in between, if that makes sense.
Speaker 3: That's a good place.
Speaker 2: What did you love so much about her?
Speaker 22: I saw her picture and you know, obviously I caught
Speaker 22: my attention. She's gorgeous, But the thing I took, like
Speaker 22: place my finger on, it's like, she just reminded me
Speaker 22: of someone like I don't know, yeah.
Speaker 3: He's going to go with a celebrities. Yeah yeah, not
Speaker 3: a mom.
Speaker 2: Okay, who was it?
Speaker 22: Not even a celebrity, But I think the closest I
Speaker 22: can think of it, like she kind of reminds me
Speaker 22: of like this friend I had from college. So it's
Speaker 22: like almost like just seeing her made me feel sort
Speaker 22: of like connected to her.
Speaker 3: Okay, there was a comfort there already.
Speaker 22: Yeah, So I reached out and I was like, Hey,
Speaker 22: are you this person by chance? And she said no,
Speaker 22: and you know, we got to talking and eventually we
Speaker 22: started talking over the phone and you know, like the
Speaker 22: first phone call when you meet alongline's like always awfboard.
Speaker 22: You never know to have the same kind of like
Speaker 22: chemistry you might have just texting or whatever. But immediately
Speaker 22: felt comfortable talking to her and the conversation was really good.
Speaker 22: So as a sign I asked her out and.
Speaker 2: Yes, and where do we ask her out to?
Speaker 22: I decided to take her to one of my favorite bakeries.
Speaker 22: I figured it's like, you know, low pressure first date
Speaker 22: type of thing.
Speaker 13: Brilliant, a bad, it smells good, everyone's happy.
Speaker 2: In a bakery relatively low cost.
Speaker 3: It's like a first date without alcohol. I don't mean
Speaker 3: to be.
Speaker 11: For me.
Speaker 7: I just can't actually, and I need Like there's just
Speaker 7: something about sitting down with a glass of wine or
Speaker 7: something with someone that just kind of takes the edge off,
Speaker 7: Like daytime bakery.
Speaker 6: Is a little more focus or friend likes.
Speaker 2: So tell us about your friend, like boring.
Speaker 3: Sober sober is bad? It just for me, is.
Speaker 2: How was it for you?
Speaker 22: I'll have you know that wine aunt take the edge
Speaker 22: off nearly as good as my favorite bakery's amazing maple bars.
Speaker 22: So we have that going for it.
Speaker 3: Okay, I can get behind that you're starting to sell me.
Speaker 2: What was it like when you first saw her? Like,
Speaker 2: was she everything that you were hoping?
Speaker 22: She'd be oh, yeah, well, I mean when you meet
Speaker 22: a longline, like they show up looking half as as
Speaker 22: the picture, you consider yourself lucky. She looked even better.
Speaker 22: So I was like, oh, so I at least I
Speaker 22: know she's also honest, which was really nice.
Speaker 2: Okay, so first impression is good. How did the actual
Speaker 2: conversation and the date go.
Speaker 22: I thought it went really well. So before we even
Speaker 22: like started to like sit down and talk, I was like, hey,
Speaker 22: you have to try these maple bars kind of my move,
Speaker 22: you know, show them I've got good taste. And also like,
Speaker 22: who isn't in a better move when you're having like
Speaker 22: something that's like warm and sweet and dooey.
Speaker 2: Yeah, She's like, well I'm kind of diabetic, and you're like, no,
Speaker 2: you have to try.
Speaker 3: Was she into it?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 22: She said it was delicious. We sat down, had a
Speaker 22: little bit of coffee, you know, just like very first
Speaker 22: conversation stuff, but it flowed very well.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like what did you guys talk about?
Speaker 22: Oh, you know, like favorite movies and books that type
Speaker 22: of stuff.
Speaker 7: Okay, I got to say, you know, Jeff set this
Speaker 7: up as a woman that like changed your life in
Speaker 7: thirty minutes. But so far, I mean it sounds like
Speaker 7: a good date. But was there something like exceptional about it?
Speaker 2: Oh, so it's not exceptional enough to Brook. So far
Speaker 2: what she said sounds.
Speaker 12: Like it's like something like Brooke and I would go
Speaker 12: do It's just a normal good first date.
Speaker 2: You know how rare a normal good broke.
Speaker 6: So that's what it is.
Speaker 7: I mean, I'm just asking like the exceptional part, like
Speaker 7: what blew you out of the water.
Speaker 22: Well, here's the thing, But the whole thing was maybe
Speaker 22: forty minutes top. But like in that forty minutes, I
Speaker 22: thought we had like a good connection. And you know
Speaker 22: what we started talking about like future ambitions, which is
Speaker 22: something I don't talk about with someone until like the
Speaker 22: fourth or fifth date. You know, Like I told her
Speaker 22: how I eventually want to be like a master French chef.
Speaker 17: That's kind of my dream.
Speaker 2: That I'm doing, who specializes in French maple bars.
Speaker 7: Sooner I would date him for a while just based
Speaker 7: on that alone. Yeah, maybe give me a court on blue.
Speaker 22: And she seemed really supportive, awesome.
Speaker 2: In forty minutes, I mean, that's not a very long date,
Speaker 2: but it sounds like it went well. How did you
Speaker 2: end it?
Speaker 22: Gave her a Huggs said, I had a really great time.
Speaker 22: I like to see her again, and maybe it ended
Speaker 22: on an awkward note. I'm not sure that I made
Speaker 22: a joke that I hope she didn't take the wrong
Speaker 22: way like I was leaving and said, wait, you're not
Speaker 22: going to pay me for the maple bar. You got
Speaker 22: to look at me for a second. I said, Oh,
Speaker 22: I'm just joking.
Speaker 15: Yeah, you laugh, but.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you'll six.
Speaker 15: All right.
Speaker 2: So in your email, you told us that you've been
Speaker 2: texting and calling her but she's not answering anything.
Speaker 22: Yeah, you know, I'm an adult. I know what that means.
Speaker 22: But I don't know if it's like something I can
Speaker 22: salvage or if at the very least learn to not
Speaker 22: do on a future date.
Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, Well the good news is you don't have
Speaker 2: to salvage it. That's our job, right. Yeah, we'll play
Speaker 2: a song. We're gonna call Renee for you and get
Speaker 2: you your second date update.
Speaker 22: Right after the date Okay, figures fro.
Speaker 2: Right after this hold on update. We're in the middle
Speaker 2: of a second date. Update with Connor, who says he
Speaker 2: doesn't really believe in love at first sight, but something
Speaker 2: clearly does believe in is love at first bite. It's
Speaker 2: because he took Rene to a bakery where they make
Speaker 2: the most decadent, creamy, moist, mouth watering homemade maple bars.
Speaker 2: His oral cavity has ever seen.
Speaker 5: The world.
Speaker 3: I'm about to make that sound. You just play the thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't afford to lose any more listeners.
Speaker 11: So good.
Speaker 2: The whole thing only lasted about forty minutes, he says,
Speaker 2: but that was all he needed to know that there's
Speaker 2: something special happening with him and Renee. But Connor, is
Speaker 2: it possible that the maple bar was so good it
Speaker 2: put Renee into a week long food coma and she
Speaker 2: just needs a little more time to come out of
Speaker 2: it and finally respond to you.
Speaker 22: I mean, if that's the explanation, then I'll be happy
Speaker 22: to know about Okay.
Speaker 2: I'm just saying there's optimism over here. You know.
Speaker 7: My thought is, I don't know if you feel this, Connor.
Speaker 7: Is that maybe just she found a couple other dudes
Speaker 7: to date, you know, like she sat?
Speaker 2: I mean, thanks for putting such a positive spin on
Speaker 2: this before.
Speaker 15: We make the.
Speaker 14: Sorry, bro I think we could come back from that.
Speaker 3: I thought that was a positive.
Speaker 9: What met She probably has.
Speaker 7: A lot of options because she sounds like Unicorn and
Speaker 7: she just doesn't.
Speaker 3: Realize how great you are. And that's where we come
Speaker 3: in to really sell Connor.
Speaker 5: What means you're one of ten? And they probably gave
Speaker 5: her booz I mean, you know, before.
Speaker 2: We do any more positive talk with Connor, let's just
Speaker 2: move on and call Renee and actually get the answer
Speaker 2: to are you ready to do this?
Speaker 18: Man?
Speaker 2: Here we go. I'm down your number right now. Hello, Hey,
Speaker 2: is this Renee?
Speaker 21: This is she May?
Speaker 10: Asked?
Speaker 2: Is calling you May? And I will answer.
Speaker 5: With five minutes?
Speaker 3: Why do you just answer her?
Speaker 5: I'd like to.
Speaker 2: Set it up. You're on the radio right now with
Speaker 2: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. I'm Jeff if that
Speaker 2: wasn't super clear, and I'm Brook.
Speaker 3: And I'm Jeff.
Speaker 9: I don't know anymore.
Speaker 18: I don't sorry, I don't like, I don't know your show.
Speaker 5: Comedy.
Speaker 2: We're quirky and weird. I'll just get to it because
Speaker 2: we're doing something right now called the Second Date Update,
Speaker 2: and we're looking to help one of our listeners, Connor,
Speaker 2: get back in touch with you.
Speaker 14: Have you heard our podcast or you last laughing?
Speaker 6: Wait?
Speaker 23: Wait wait wait wait wait wait you talked to him?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 9: Wait, he doesn't No, he doesn't.
Speaker 11: Know what.
Speaker 23: I honestly like, I don't know what to say other
Speaker 23: than he is the most clueless guy in the entire world. Like,
Speaker 23: I told all my friends about our date.
Speaker 18: And they all told me that I should like post
Speaker 18: it on TikTok because it's.
Speaker 2: Just so, We're talking about a thirty minute coffee date
Speaker 2: out of bakery. He didn't mention anything crazy when we
Speaker 2: spoke to him. Is that the same Connor?
Speaker 23: It's the same.
Speaker 18: It's Connor. But maybe I'm gonna paint you the picture
Speaker 18: because it's ridiculous. Three and a half years ago, maybe
Speaker 18: even like four. Honestly, I was on a different dating
Speaker 18: app where this guy hit me up and he invited
Speaker 18: me to go to a bakery. At the bakery, this
Speaker 18: person like insisted I tried these amazing maple bars whatever,
Speaker 18: and we talked about like our favorite movies and books.
Speaker 18: And guess who that person was. Guess the name of
Speaker 18: that person.
Speaker 3: Tell me.
Speaker 18: It's Connor.
Speaker 3: Wait, it's the same dude.
Speaker 18: So Yes, I have been out with Connor, the same
Speaker 18: Connor you're talking about, on the exact same bakery date
Speaker 18: three and a half years ago.
Speaker 7: Wait wait, wait, wait, when did you realize it was
Speaker 7: the same guy from three years prior?
Speaker 18: Like when we matched? How do you not remember going
Speaker 18: on a date with someone?
Speaker 14: Why did you go through with it?
Speaker 15: Then?
Speaker 3: If you knew you had already been on a date
Speaker 3: with this guy three years ago? Why did you continue?
Speaker 18: Because I genuinely thought it was a joke and that
Speaker 18: when we like got there, he'd be like, we're not
Speaker 18: actually going here again.
Speaker 2: Oh you thought he was setting you up to be.
Speaker 3: Like okay, because you thought he remembered too.
Speaker 23: Hey, I just went along with it.
Speaker 2: At least better your both dates.
Speaker 18: It was the exact same conversation. Like, I already know
Speaker 18: his favorite book, it's slaughter House five, its favorite movie Seana.
Speaker 3: The Dead Memory.
Speaker 18: I even know also about his five year plan to
Speaker 18: become a master cook or whatever. But clearly he hasn't
Speaker 18: made much progress because that was three and a half
Speaker 18: years ago.
Speaker 2: Is hard to master though he's got a year to
Speaker 2: half left.
Speaker 23: Oh, one more thing.
Speaker 18: The first time that we did go on our date,
Speaker 18: he ghosted me.
Speaker 7: Wait, I was gonna three years ago he ghosted you,
Speaker 7: and this time he has. I mean he's describing you
Speaker 7: as like this amazing woman that he can't let get away.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and don't just take it from us. Connor is
Speaker 2: actually on the other line listening and wants to tell
Speaker 2: you himself. Isn't that right, Connor?
Speaker 22: You're joking?
Speaker 10: This can't be real.
Speaker 18: There's con Connor, how many women have you taken to
Speaker 18: that bakery over the years, like three hundred four hundred?
Speaker 22: Like, oh my gosh, look it's not that many, but
Speaker 22: it's my favorite first date spot.
Speaker 18: I wait, but you even made the same joke, Like
Speaker 18: you made the same like are you gonna bring me
Speaker 18: back for that maple board?
Speaker 2: Joked that, Connor, you don't remember her at all.
Speaker 22: I told you I knew she seemed familiar. I thought it.
Speaker 18: Was me familiarity and like, actually, like our first date,
Speaker 18: we spent time together.
Speaker 15: Wow.
Speaker 22: I hate to ask this, but are you sure it
Speaker 22: was me? You were a date?
Speaker 6: Honor?
Speaker 18: One hundred percent positive? Conor?
Speaker 5: Is that your favorite movie? Broad?
Speaker 22: I mean, yeah, it's.
Speaker 18: Not even a good joke.
Speaker 7: This is when you start apologizing, buddy, Like she's mad
Speaker 7: you ghosted her the first time and.
Speaker 3: Then you didn't even remember.
Speaker 14: Her the second time.
Speaker 3: Like it's kind of insult to injury.
Speaker 22: I mean, look, I'm not trying to make it excuse for myself,
Speaker 22: but three and a half years ago was a long time.
Speaker 22: I've matured a lot since then. I'm sure a lot
Speaker 22: of people have. I'm older, I'm wiser. I apologize and
Speaker 22: very much so. Look I noticed you. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 22: I was clearly an idiot then. I'm clearly an idiot now.
Speaker 4: Well.
Speaker 2: The fact that he had the wherewithal to reach out
Speaker 2: to a radio station to reach out to you shows
Speaker 2: the personal growth that he's made in that time.
Speaker 3: I mean, it was an honest mistake.
Speaker 18: Yeah, no, I get that. I'm just I'm kind of
Speaker 18: like over it, like at this point, like I'm nervous.
Speaker 2: I think you're being a little bit too judgmental because
Speaker 2: you're hungry and what you need is another man. I
Speaker 2: think so I think you could get an You're gonna
Speaker 2: see what a great guy Connor is, and we'd like
Speaker 2: to put that maple bar in there and send you
Speaker 2: on another date.
Speaker 7: I'll just say, Renee, I am terrible remembering faces and.
Speaker 14: Yeah, but it was.
Speaker 18: It's not even about that. It was the exact same date.
Speaker 23: It was the exact fas.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's like a movie that you love so
Speaker 2: much you just want to watch it over.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 18: Yeah, it's actually nothing like that, though, And.
Speaker 2: I still think you should give another shot, and this
Speaker 2: time you can do a totally different place, a whole
Speaker 2: new conversation. He'll ask about your favorite exercise activity, Connor.
Speaker 22: Yeah, I mean third time is the charm?
Speaker 11: All Right?
Speaker 14: There you go, not a really strong argument.
Speaker 2: It's a yes from Connor. Renee, what do you say?
Speaker 18: I wish you nothing but the best, Connor, But like
Speaker 18: I'm I don't want to ghost you the way you
Speaker 18: ghosted me. So I'm just going to tell you straight
Speaker 18: up that I'm not interested.
Speaker 22: Okayning, dude, I mean, hopefully three and a half years
Speaker 22: from now, she'll forget about this. We can try again.
Speaker 11: Sit an alarm, buddy, you'll be in here for you,
Speaker 11: freaking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 2: Man, Thinking back, that first date had so many positives
Speaker 2: to it.
Speaker 3: Wait, which first date? The first first one?
Speaker 2: Yeah, first one? Okay, maybe I should clarify that second
Speaker 2: date has so many or maybe to clarify again that
Speaker 2: first and second dates, so many boss coffee, maple bars,
Speaker 2: aspirations of French cooking, and I guess women are just
Speaker 2: so picky now they don't want to go on the
Speaker 2: same date twice three years.
Speaker 3: Did you not listen to her at all?
Speaker 2: Not real?
Speaker 7: And does anyone else not believe him on the French
Speaker 7: cooking thing? Like he it's like his shtick to sound
Speaker 7: exotic and sexy.
Speaker 5: It does sound really cool.
Speaker 2: Everybody has that one big goal though, that they know
Speaker 2: they're never going to achieve. It's just nice to say it.
Speaker 3: Isn't so hot. Okay, I'm going to become a French chef.
Speaker 2: But yeah, we weren't able to get them to go
Speaker 2: out on another date. The worst part about it, though,
Speaker 2: is after that whole thing, we never asked the name
Speaker 2: of the bakery where they make those maple bars.
Speaker 3: Right, I do.
Speaker 7: Want to try on, but I also feel he's taken
Speaker 7: a lot of first dates there, so they must not
Speaker 7: be that good because there wasn't ever any second dates
Speaker 7: at this place.
Speaker 5: At the end of all of it, he's like, oh,
Speaker 5: it's dunkin Donuts.
Speaker 2: We failed on so many levels and we don't even
Speaker 2: have a maple bar so we can eat our fields.
Speaker 10: I love.
Speaker 3: If anyone wants to drop them off at the studio,
Speaker 3: that'd be cool.
Speaker 15: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, actually you're diabetic, I know, so yeah, you can
Speaker 2: bring us some maple bars. And while you're here, if
Speaker 2: you want a second date, we might be able to
Speaker 2: do that too. Who hasn't calling you back?
Speaker 11: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning?
Speaker 3: All right?
Speaker 7: Can I just stop for a second and say, I
Speaker 7: know the big football game's coming up and everyone's.
Speaker 3: Excited, you know, for the game, But let's.
Speaker 7: Talk about the snacks because that is the real winner here,
Speaker 7: especially if you go to potatoes dot com, because everybody's
Speaker 7: gonna be happy if you are serving the best apps,
Speaker 7: and you can just like shout out Washington Potato Commission
Speaker 7: for helping you out on that, because they've got you covered.
Speaker 3: Potatoes. They're complex carbohydrate, okay, they provide energy.
Speaker 14: And fuel and they are delicious.
Speaker 3: And a crowd favorite.
Speaker 7: So again, prep for your big day go to potatoes
Speaker 7: dot com.
Speaker 2: If you're anything like me, then you've definitely gotten a random,
Speaker 2: weird text from your parents that makes you go, what
Speaker 2: are you even talking about? Mom? What are you saying?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I get one of those every day.
Speaker 3: That's very you. Your mom is a lot and I
Speaker 3: don't know what she texts us.
Speaker 2: She does and it's totally random. I have no clue
Speaker 2: what she's saying. Good luck. A woman in England is
Speaker 2: going viral today after she got a really bizarre text
Speaker 2: from her parents while they were visiting from out of town.
Speaker 2: It was so odd she actually had to leave her
Speaker 2: work to go investigate in person, and when she discovered
Speaker 2: what was actually happening, it was so shocking and hilarious
Speaker 2: and ended up making international news. It's probably one of
Speaker 2: the funniest stories we're gonna hear all year. I'll tell
Speaker 2: you what happened coming up at a ten. Whoops? How
Speaker 2: did that get in my mouth? It's brooken Jeffrey in
Speaker 2: the morning and the thirty nine year old woman is
Speaker 2: in the news today named Angela Holloway.
Speaker 3: Okay, that still doesn't explain the question you just asked.
Speaker 2: Hopefully it'll make more sense than just recently. Angela had
Speaker 2: her eighty year old parents over to visit.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: Her sister was visiting too, but Angela had to work
Speaker 2: the entire time that they were staying there.
Speaker 3: Okay, is she working from home too.
Speaker 2: No, this is a situation where she would leave during
Speaker 2: the day to go to work and then come home
Speaker 2: at night to be with her family. And on the
Speaker 2: second day, while she was at work, she got a
Speaker 2: strange message text from her mom and it said, honey,
Speaker 2: I can't thank you enough for the lovely lunch you
Speaker 2: left behind of absolutely gorgeous patay. Your father and I
Speaker 2: ate the whole thing. You are an angel.
Speaker 3: That's nice.
Speaker 2: It is. It is nice. But Angela was confused because
Speaker 2: she didn't leave them any paatee, nor did she own
Speaker 2: any patae in her house.
Speaker 5: The texture pat is like.
Speaker 19: Not goods rakers up in well, and she got another
Speaker 19: text from the mom again, it says, sweetheart, if you
Speaker 19: wouldn't mind picking up some more of that gorgeous patae,
Speaker 19: your father and I would be forever grateful.
Speaker 3: I don't even know where you buy pate Is it
Speaker 3: like a can? Okay?
Speaker 2: They sell them at the grocery store. Yeah, in the deli.
Speaker 2: Huh you can they sell them any.
Speaker 7: Delia right next to the caa.
Speaker 2: Anyway, back to the story. After getting that second text,
Speaker 2: Angela did not know what they were talking about still,
Speaker 2: so she decided to leave work at lunch time. She
Speaker 2: drove home and asked her parents what was going on,
Speaker 2: what are they eating? And the mom presented the empty
Speaker 2: tin that was left in the refrigerator, which turns out
Speaker 2: was actually a can of wet cat food.
Speaker 5: I was wondering because the.
Speaker 3: Unique it's so similar to cat food, it's like wet.
Speaker 2: I guess the confusion happened because the label was written
Speaker 2: in French. In French, I'm pretty sure the French word
Speaker 2: for cat is chete.
Speaker 13: Okay, now it's starting to make more sense.
Speaker 2: But you know, they don't have a picture of a
Speaker 2: cat on the canister or anything. So parents saw it
Speaker 2: ate the whole thing.
Speaker 6: O my god.
Speaker 7: But good news she did have more like the mom
Speaker 7: wanted anyway.
Speaker 2: The story soon went viral on social media. Angela says, honestly,
Speaker 2: I nearly wet myself. I was howling with laughing, and
Speaker 2: my mom started laughing. Her stomach hurt because she was
Speaker 2: laughing so much. The father was a little more concerned
Speaker 2: about discovering the miss and he jokingly said, what are
Speaker 2: you doing. You're trying to poison us. Luckily nobody got sick,
Speaker 2: and eating cat food does sound pretty nasty. But we
Speaker 2: also found a list of the top four things that
Speaker 2: people have eaten by accident. Number four says one woman
Speaker 2: said she was sipping on a margarita and crunched on
Speaker 2: the ice, only to realize it was a broken piece
Speaker 2: of the blender.
Speaker 7: Oh but you know, she had tequila and by that point.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it doesn't say she stopped drinking. Number three one
Speaker 2: girl said she dropped an eminem on the ground and
Speaker 2: picked it up and ate it, only to realize that
Speaker 2: her eminem was still on the ground, so she spit
Speaker 2: the thing out of her mouth and discovered she actually
Speaker 2: ate a dead tick.
Speaker 5: Ah my goodness.
Speaker 2: But again, she didn't realize it until she saw the
Speaker 2: M and M, so it must have been a pretty
Speaker 2: chocolatey tip. Number two. One guy said when he was
Speaker 2: a kid, he woke up in the middle of the
Speaker 2: night once to reach for his water cup. But it
Speaker 2: turns out it was an old soda that was covered
Speaker 2: in ants. So not only did he have ants in
Speaker 2: his mouth, but they were crawling all over his face
Speaker 2: and body.
Speaker 13: Oh you know what, this kind of randomly reminded me
Speaker 13: one time.
Speaker 5: You guys know, I never cleaned my place. Oh I
Speaker 5: don't want to know.
Speaker 3: What did you drink?
Speaker 5: I had a gatorade on the ground, but it had
Speaker 5: been there for like a week, at least maybe two.
Speaker 13: I had a friend over, we were drinking, taking shots,
Speaker 13: and he's like, didn't even ask, just grabbed the gatorade
Speaker 13: on the ground.
Speaker 5: And then spit it out and it was like curdles.
Speaker 5: I think he had drinking mold.
Speaker 6: Do you have to leave gatorade to get mold?
Speaker 14: It's not a week or two.
Speaker 2: The number one weird thing somebody ate by accident from
Speaker 2: the survey, They said one time they went fishing with
Speaker 2: their family and they were sitting on the dock, eating
Speaker 2: a cookie in one hand and holding a live crab
Speaker 2: in the other, and they got distracted while talking and
Speaker 2: accidentally took a bite out of the live crab.
Speaker 23: Hurt.
Speaker 2: I mean that, soush basically.
Speaker 5: Actually, I would keep going, yeah, would you?
Speaker 24: He's got But we were in northern Thailand and the
Speaker 24: guy who was our guide came in holding a dead
Speaker 24: snake that he shot with a pistol.
Speaker 9: Oh whoa, and they ate it.
Speaker 14: Yeah, yeah, totally heard.
Speaker 2: Snake actually tastes really good.
Speaker 7: I wouldn't go that far, No, it's pretty chewy, but
Speaker 7: maybe it's because of the method it was killed with.
Speaker 3: I mean, what a shot though, right am I? Right, Michael,
Speaker 3: we have to eat this. That man shot it with
Speaker 3: a pistol in some house.
Speaker 2: I've eaten termites before.
Speaker 3: Live were you acting like a bear?
Speaker 2: If you go to Costa Rica and you take like
Speaker 2: one of the tours, they let you eat the termites there,
Speaker 2: and they actually taste really.
Speaker 3: Good, like lemonie and pep berry or something.
Speaker 2: Lemony, peppery. Some of them are tastes like peanut butter.
Speaker 9: They flavor the termites, Oh, they're just natural.
Speaker 2: Nature's flavor is just like the peanut butter. I don't
Speaker 2: even want to know what the weirdest thing that Alexis
Speaker 2: is eating.
Speaker 9: You know, I don't know what it was. Because we
Speaker 9: used to play a game. Or you just took a
Speaker 9: bunch of food from the house and made it in
Speaker 9: a blender, you know, and then you had to drink.
Speaker 14: Yeah, I played that game.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I played that game. You don't never played that.
Speaker 3: When you were a.
Speaker 6: Little, blend you're left over everything.
Speaker 14: Crash grown mustard was always a big hit.
Speaker 9: You have to have some flower or something.
Speaker 2: Suddenly the cat food is sounding better than better. You
Speaker 2: text into seven eight five nine to tell us what's
Speaker 2: the weirdest thing that you've ever eaten, whether it's on
Speaker 2: purpose or by accident.
Speaker 7: Especially, I mean, there would always be one person that
Speaker 7: the slumber party is like, actually tastes pretty good.
Speaker 11: Yeah, yourself, brooking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 2: Brook's going for ten wins in a row today, all right,
Speaker 2: and getting those double digits like those ones, and you're
Speaker 2: gonna be playing someone who lost to you apparently three
Speaker 2: years ago. But she's finally mustard up the courage she
Speaker 2: wants to relish in a victory playing Ketchup one more time?
Speaker 2: Coming back Monica from Lynnwood. Ah, hello, Monica.
Speaker 3: Are you a condiment? Queen Monica? What's your favorite?
Speaker 15: Oh?
Speaker 10: Raren gotta be a classic white girl.
Speaker 7: And she's like, well, I go get my ice smoke up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, all right, Monica, today is your chance for redemption.
Speaker 2: We're gonna send Brook out of the studio. And while
Speaker 2: that happens, you know how the game's played. You have
Speaker 2: thirty seconds to answer as many questions as possible. If
Speaker 2: you don't know when, you can say pass, and you
Speaker 2: have to beat Brook. Outright to win.
Speaker 4: You ready, Yeah, I'm ready.
Speaker 2: Here we go. Your time starts now. Today is International
Speaker 2: Astronomy Day. How many official planets are there in our
Speaker 2: solar system?
Speaker 15: Seven?
Speaker 2: What's the main ingredient in hummus?
Speaker 7: Uh?
Speaker 2: Bean? In New York? The Brooklyn Bridge connects Brooklyn to
Speaker 2: what other borough?
Speaker 4: Manhattan?
Speaker 2: What was the name of Peter Pan's posse? And never
Speaker 2: never Land lost? Which European country eats the most chocolate
Speaker 2: per person in the world?
Speaker 4: France?
Speaker 2: All right, answers are and let's bring brook back into
Speaker 2: the studio. And Monica, it says on my phone's grenner
Speaker 2: here says fun fact and then it says nothing. So
Speaker 2: do you do you have a fun fact about yourself?
Speaker 23: Oh?
Speaker 10: A fun fact about myself?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 10: I am constantly busy, like from the time I wake
Speaker 10: up the time I go to bed.
Speaker 4: I'm a busy lady. I'm a caregiver, so like.
Speaker 2: I'm a giver to Barnica. Yeah, all right, Brooke, it's
Speaker 2: your turn. You ready? Yes, your time starts now. Today
Speaker 2: is International Astronomy Day. How many official planets are there
Speaker 2: in our solar system?
Speaker 11: Nine?
Speaker 2: What's the main ingredient in hummus? In New York. The
Speaker 2: Brooklyn Bridge connects Brooklyn to what other borough?
Speaker 3: Manhattan?
Speaker 2: What was the name of Peter Pan's posse in never
Speaker 2: never Land?
Speaker 3: The Lost Boys.
Speaker 2: Which European country eats the most chocolate per person in
Speaker 2: the world, Denmark? What social media site's logo is a
Speaker 2: big white letter interest answers are in. Let's go to
Speaker 2: the scoreboard and see how you both did with Jose.
Speaker 25: So my computer is completely cracked and this became just
Speaker 25: became one of the worst days I have had and
Speaker 25: quite some time, so relatable.
Speaker 13: You got to today your busy bee and then brook yep,
Speaker 13: you got four.
Speaker 2: Sorry, sorry Monica.
Speaker 3: We are called back in another three years.
Speaker 2: Let's go over the answers for everybody here today's International
Speaker 2: Astronomy Day. There are eight planets in our solar system Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune,
Speaker 2: and Uranus No sorry, Bluto. The main ingredient in Hummus
Speaker 2: is chickpeas, which are also garbonzo beans. In New York,
Speaker 2: the Brooklyn Bridge connects Brooklyn to Manhattan. Peter Pan's posse
Speaker 2: in never never Land are called the Lost Boys. The
Speaker 2: European country that eats the most chocolate per person in
Speaker 2: the world is Switzerland.
Speaker 14: That's what I was trying to think of it get there.
Speaker 2: For some reason, each citizen there eats approximately twenty pounds
Speaker 2: of chocolate per year.
Speaker 5: Wow.
Speaker 3: Go, and they're so pretty there.
Speaker 2: For comparison, the US only eats eleven pounds per year.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm not in that survey.
Speaker 2: In survey brook and the social media sites logo that
Speaker 2: uses a big white letter P that would be pinterest.
Speaker 2: So Monica, I'm sorry no cash today, but thank you
Speaker 2: so much for playing. We'll be back to play Windbrooks
Speaker 2: Bucks same time tomorrow
Speaker 11: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.