Speaker 1: It's broken Jeffrey in the morning and a really good
Speaker 1: looking person with a bad personality. Yeah, it's like human clickbait.
Speaker 1: That's a good point. They're like, ooh yeah, but right now,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you a dose of audio clickbait when
Speaker 1: I read a sexy, enticing headline to make you want
Speaker 1: to care, and then I'll disappoint you with the ugly
Speaker 1: facts in knowledge. Knowledge. Let's get right into your first one.
Speaker 1: One food company is offering a million dollar prize if
Speaker 1: you can do one thing. Oh, I think I can
Speaker 1: do it. I don't care. The mascot for Chicken of
Speaker 1: the Sea Tuna is a mermaid. I know that. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it should be Jessica Simpson. But whatever. Yeah. Now,
Speaker 1: for whatever reason, the company's offering a one million dollar
Speaker 1: cash prize to anyone who can submit scientific evidence of
Speaker 1: a mermaid and coordinate an in person meeting with the
Speaker 1: lie mermaids. Seems very achievable, Yeah, mermaids, Like, let me
Speaker 1: just check my schedule for an interview next Wednesday. But
Speaker 1: if you cannot produce one with the evidence and the
Speaker 1: actual mermaid, they say, you can just submit a cute
Speaker 1: photo of your kid or your pet dressed up in
Speaker 1: a Mermaid costume. Yeah, and you won't win a million dollars,
Speaker 1: You just get twenty five hundred bucks. I mean, don't
Speaker 1: you think the Mermaids would think it's some sort of
Speaker 1: trick that they were about to be canned? Yeah? They
Speaker 1: say if the winners of the Proved Mermaids are real,
Speaker 1: contest are going to be announced on March twenty ninth,
Speaker 1: which is National Mermaid Day. Oh cool, thank you. Let's
Speaker 1: go to your next headline. Guaranteed. Brooke is not going
Speaker 1: to be happy about this breaking news. Care. I don't care.
Speaker 1: We have to care. I carry unhappy. I don't care.
Speaker 1: This justin there's officially a new worst rated TV show
Speaker 1: in IMDb history? Am I going to be? It's an
Speaker 1: animated series on HBO Max called Velma, from none other
Speaker 1: than Mindy Kaling. Yeah? I love her. That's why I'm
Speaker 1: going to be upset. Did she make it or did
Speaker 1: she just start in it? She created it. She also
Speaker 1: recently ranked as the third most annoying celebrity in Hollywood,
Speaker 1: but Brooks stood up for her, saying she's awesome. She is.
Speaker 1: I don't know why people are turning on her. I
Speaker 1: love her. She's awesomely annoying. Brook, weren't You're the same
Speaker 1: person who when Ellen was busted for a toxic work environment,
Speaker 1: you stood up for her and she said, if you
Speaker 1: can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen. I don't.
Speaker 1: Really you have more annoying celebrities than any person I've
Speaker 1: ever met. Ever. The Mindy Project I still think was
Speaker 1: one of the funniest shows on TV. I think it's
Speaker 1: so great from the room record low rating might be
Speaker 1: because it was Mindy's idea to have an adult Scooby
Speaker 1: Doo spinoff featuring just Velma. No Scooby. Well, I think
Speaker 1: that they couldn't get the rights to Scooby. I think
Speaker 1: that's what I read. Well, if that's the case, then
Speaker 1: don't make the damn show. And if you're thinking, oh,
Speaker 1: come on, like what four or five people voted it down,
Speaker 1: you'd be wrong. Got fifty two thousand volts online and
Speaker 1: after it all, Velma earned a user rating of one
Speaker 1: point three stars out of ten. That's bad. Just to
Speaker 1: give you a reference on that, there's a cartoon called
Speaker 1: Fanboy in Chum Chum that has a three point three
Speaker 1: rings that show it almost thinks we want to go
Speaker 1: watch it to see why it's so bad though, right,
Speaker 1: if you want to go check it out, it's on HBO. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I bet it gets more views. There's no such thing
Speaker 1: as bad press. I'll tell you. Everyone is excited for
Speaker 1: the show finale on February nine to finally put it
Speaker 1: out of its misery. Let's go to your next one.
Speaker 1: See if you care the nutrition myths that everyone believes,
Speaker 1: but doctors are saying it's a lie. Oh, Air don't care.
Speaker 1: I don't care. I don't like being lied to. Well,
Speaker 1: here's some health advice you should not follow anymore, because
Speaker 1: New York Times talked to several leading health experts and
Speaker 1: ask them the name the top four nutrition myths that
Speaker 1: they are sick of hearing. Oh, I like it. Number one,
Speaker 1: fresh fruit is healthier than frozen fruit. Not true. Yeah,
Speaker 1: sometimes the canned stuff has added sugar in it, but
Speaker 1: the frozen and fresh fruits have the exact same ingredients.
Speaker 1: Plus frozen is cheaper. Oh my god, I'll tell you
Speaker 1: right now. With kids, those berries are so damn expensive.
Speaker 1: We do only frozen this time of year. I thought frozen.
Speaker 1: Once the ice melts, it takes some of the nutrients.
Speaker 1: Why would water take away nutrients? I don't know. It's
Speaker 1: just like, oh no, it's dripping all the nutrients out
Speaker 1: brain power On this show, ice cream would be so
Speaker 1: much healthier if it wasn't just cold. Yeah. Myth number two,
Speaker 1: plant based milk is healthier than cow's milk. Not true.
Speaker 1: It does have fewer calories, yes, but cow's milk has
Speaker 1: more than twice the protein, and some plant based milks
Speaker 1: have a lot of added sugar in them, so you
Speaker 1: gotta be careful for you. Myth number three, never give
Speaker 1: toddlers peanuts. Now you're supposed to give them right away
Speaker 1: now yep. We used to think that eating them too
Speaker 1: early would give kids allergies, but now experts say it's
Speaker 1: the opposite. You should feed them peanuts early on because
Speaker 1: it might help them avoid allergies. In fact, you should
Speaker 1: dip your newborn upside down into a vat of peanut butter.
Speaker 1: I did that, yeah, yeah, And then we went straight
Speaker 1: into the strawberry snacks. That's also a high allergy thing,
Speaker 1: but they were frozen because I'm cheap. And finally, the
Speaker 1: fourth nutrition myth that doctors are sick of hearing. It's
Speaker 1: hard for vegetarians to get enough protein. It's actually a
Speaker 1: lot easier than people think. Nuts, grains, beans, all of
Speaker 1: them packed with a lot of protein. Yeah, okay, there
Speaker 1: you go, peanut butter two spreading all over your body. Finally,
Speaker 1: Jeff's joke of the day care. I don't care, I care.
Speaker 1: What did the snail who was riding on the turtle's
Speaker 1: back say? What? So fast? That don't care? The snail
Speaker 1: slow and sows the turtle phone tats coming up next.