Speaker 1: Today's show is pre recorded. Y'all know what time? I
Speaker 1: don't know. Y'all have a sun giving them like the
Speaker 1: million bucks things. And as to good Steve hastening to mother,
Speaker 1: Please I don't join Jo. You gotta use that turn
Speaker 1: you're going to do? You are you gotta turn to
Speaker 1: turn them out? Turn? You haven't got to turn them out?
Speaker 1: Then turn the water the water got me? Come come
Speaker 1: on your tha uh huh, I show will a good
Speaker 1: morning everybody. You all listening to the voice, come on
Speaker 1: dig me now, one and only Steve Harvey Man got
Speaker 1: a radio show. How good is God? Hum? Think about it?
Speaker 1: Just take a slight inventory of your own life and
Speaker 1: say it to yourself when you get through, how good
Speaker 1: is God? Think of all the small things, all this
Speaker 1: because that's him. You breatheh that's him. You steal him.
Speaker 1: That's him. You got another chance? That's him. You ain't
Speaker 1: out of him. That's him. You got any measure of health,
Speaker 1: that's him. You think it's more to it than it
Speaker 1: really is, that it already showed up to be. That's him.
Speaker 1: All of that. You got any dreams of aspirations, you
Speaker 1: dream of other things, that's him. All that that's him.
Speaker 1: That's him him close you got, that's him every time
Speaker 1: you eat. That's why they had this thing called you
Speaker 1: say your grace. That's him. That's him, man, that's him.
Speaker 1: It's amazing when you take a small inventory how you
Speaker 1: find out how big God really is in your life. Now,
Speaker 1: the more you turn yourself over to him, the bigger
Speaker 1: he can be. For you. See, he'll only be as
Speaker 1: big as you let him. It's one thing about God. Now,
Speaker 1: he's a gentleman. He can make you do anything. You know.
Speaker 1: You get too big for him, you know you you you,
Speaker 1: you lose your humbleness. He can humble you. Now. God
Speaker 1: created man with the power of choice. We're the only
Speaker 1: creature he created that. He gave us the total power
Speaker 1: of choice when we mate, who we mate with. You
Speaker 1: know everything, all of it. Man. It's the choice what
Speaker 1: we want to be, how much we want to make,
Speaker 1: where we want to live, what climate we want to
Speaker 1: live in. We can live in cold climates, hot climates.
Speaker 1: You know, we speak different languages. You can go learn
Speaker 1: another language. A bear can't do nothing but be a bear.
Speaker 1: Is he can't go learn how to be a fox.
Speaker 1: He can't go learn how to be an otter. He
Speaker 1: just can't. An ostrich is an ostrich man. He can't
Speaker 1: come out of here and fight like a lion. A
Speaker 1: lion is a lion. A lion eat meat. He can't
Speaker 1: eat vegetables. I don't care how much meat ain't around.
Speaker 1: He'll lay down and pull up out of here and
Speaker 1: die because he can't eat grass. He's just a lion man.
Speaker 1: You understand this that God gave us. We are the
Speaker 1: one creature he created that has total power of choice.
Speaker 1: You can make every decision in your life. What kind
Speaker 1: of watch you like? That's the one you can buy.
Speaker 1: You want to live in Switzerland, Go ahead. You don't
Speaker 1: like Switzerland, you move to Miami. You want to live
Speaker 1: your life a crime, Go ahead, that's you. He gave
Speaker 1: you the power of choice. You want to do right?
Speaker 1: Come on, So now look at this thing. We are
Speaker 1: all the results of a series of decisions that we
Speaker 1: have made. If we could just identify that the problem
Speaker 1: is us, we could began the solution. See that's the problem, y'all,
Speaker 1: it's us. It's what we do. I threw my life
Speaker 1: down the hill. I can't tell you how many years
Speaker 1: based on some decisions that I was making. Now I
Speaker 1: can justify my decision with I wasn't happy and I
Speaker 1: was doing this and I was in miserying y'all on
Speaker 1: that ye yes to you when you get through. You
Speaker 1: made the decisions though, and you can look at this
Speaker 1: anywhere you want to, y'all. But at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, I'm just talking to people that's really really
Speaker 1: wanting to improve their position in life. And how do
Speaker 1: you do that? You got to have a solution. How
Speaker 1: do you come up with a solution? You got to
Speaker 1: identify the problem to even began to solve it. But
Speaker 1: if the problem ain't ever you, how are you gonna
Speaker 1: solve something that ain't you? See? Okay, let me look
Speaker 1: at this one. If somebody said, like, I got a
Speaker 1: child of mine, man, I just do right here. Man,
Speaker 1: I don't even wanna get into it this morning, or
Speaker 1: I'm struggling with this this boy. But man, you go
Speaker 1: to people, you're asking why they do so? I just
Speaker 1: I just wasn't taking care of business. Why I just
Speaker 1: didn't take care of business? Boy, do you understand that
Speaker 1: your life is gonna be filled with you got to
Speaker 1: take care of business. So when you're gonna start, you know,
Speaker 1: what I mean. You can't. You can't. You can't go
Speaker 1: through life blaming everybody. It's got to be you. See,
Speaker 1: you can fix you. You can't fix nobody else if
Speaker 1: you keep getting married and the marriages don't work. Hello, Hello, Hello?
Speaker 1: Could it be you? South finally had to sit down
Speaker 1: and just make that decision. They don't need to be
Speaker 1: coming on the radio talking about nobody else and what
Speaker 1: they did to me and y'all just don't know. No, no, no, man,
Speaker 1: what about the part you played in it? Because see,
Speaker 1: if you got a good marriage, you got a part
Speaker 1: to play in that. If you got a bad one,
Speaker 1: you got a part to play in that. Even if
Speaker 1: it just get down to you the one pick them,
Speaker 1: how about that? Mister? Mister? I made a decision. The
Speaker 1: problem is usually within yourself. Do you know That's the quickest,
Speaker 1: an easy way to fix your life. That way, you
Speaker 1: ain't got to check with nobody. Here's the beauty of
Speaker 1: going on and admitting that is you. You don't have
Speaker 1: to check or clear with nobody to start the repair process.
Speaker 1: You don't need anybody's permission. You ain't got to put
Speaker 1: it before the review board to see if it'll pass.
Speaker 1: It ain't got to go through Congress. You ain't got
Speaker 1: to hope that your local politician get their hands on
Speaker 1: it to make a phone call for you. You ain't
Speaker 1: got to ask any counselors to come in and sit
Speaker 1: with you. You don't have to check it in the rehab.
Speaker 1: All you got to do is decide the problem is me.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start changing. Identify the problem, and start with
Speaker 1: the part that you can own up to. Once you
Speaker 1: identify the problem, you can start planning on how to
Speaker 1: fix it or how to get to accomplishing something. But
Speaker 1: remember this planning is important. If you fail to plan,
Speaker 1: then please plan to fail. If you don't know how
Speaker 1: to make a plan, let's just start with the basics.
Speaker 1: Just make a list of what you want. Make this
Speaker 1: list and then go to God in prayer with an
Speaker 1: open mind and open your mind up to all the
Speaker 1: clean opportunities that are available here. Why a lot of
Speaker 1: people won't succeed because certain opportunities come along you don't
Speaker 1: want to do them. That kills me. Man, when I
Speaker 1: hear here, I ain't doing that. I know young comedians
Speaker 1: that come to me all the time talking about man,
Speaker 1: what you're not saying, Man, just take every gig you can,
Speaker 1: no matter what they pay. Well, listen to me, son,
Speaker 1: you can go make that money that they pay, or
Speaker 1: you can make the decision to sit at home and
Speaker 1: make nobodey. It's a comedy, hard business. They ain't paying
Speaker 1: but one hundred dollars. You gotta drive, drive fifty miles.
Speaker 1: But if you drive fifty miles and you make the
Speaker 1: hundred and you stand on that stage for thirty minutes,
Speaker 1: you are now thirty minutes better than you was the
Speaker 1: last time you went on stage. Ah, Man, I ain't man,
Speaker 1: they don't pay me, I ain't coming. You ain't gonna
Speaker 1: be a comedian, man, not not, not like this. Hell,
Speaker 1: A lot of people just don't want to do what's
Speaker 1: necessary to do. So when the opportunity presents itself and
Speaker 1: you open up your mind to it, man, then get
Speaker 1: ready to go on and do it. Man, identify your
Speaker 1: problem today. Start with the part dash you you're listening
Speaker 1: to show ladies and gentlemen without further dude, it is time.
Speaker 1: It's moaning time. Come on, we gather today six o'clock
Speaker 1: or so. M hm. That's right. With uh intentions of
Speaker 1: eye lightening intentions of UH comma comma deicalness. We come
Speaker 1: to you with intention informatization. We are healed in the
Speaker 1: moaning time, in spite of the crisis that's going on
Speaker 1: around the world. We that are here are blessed and
Speaker 1: highly favored. Right walking, that walk, yes, talking that talk yeah,
Speaker 1: and jay walking when I walk. Sermons ain't gotta have
Speaker 1: no meaning. They just got to sound like his wom
Speaker 1: I say, look at hill, welcome, or to the bad
Speaker 1: is molding shot you lay? I know there as others,
Speaker 1: but then his invitations. I know folks with reggio shows, yeah,
Speaker 1: but they ain't got us on it. I know of
Speaker 1: some shows. I think it's pretty good. My damn seld
Speaker 1: a radio and I had turned to one station, Come on,
Speaker 1: I would pick the same one that you just picked. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know you picked it because I'm on it and
Speaker 1: you hear me. Like I said, other choices, But why
Speaker 1: make the wrong choice every day? That's right, that's right.
Speaker 1: Knowing that we are healed and they are there. Come
Speaker 1: on now, ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce him to you.
Speaker 1: A man with a large note, great big old limps.
Speaker 1: Mr Face has grown in with over the years. Mustache,
Speaker 1: world famous got more more credits, uh than than Equifax Cranny.
Speaker 1: He he has told more jokes than these other Ain'tio
Speaker 1: shows have attempted. Yes, ain't nobody on any Morning Moon
Speaker 1: funny didn't be. And when I come back, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: introduce me to you and the rest of the morning crew.
Speaker 1: There are you just standing by? But I then took
Speaker 1: off down the road of foolishness, and I didn't know
Speaker 1: how to get off. Sometime when you go down the
Speaker 1: road of foolishness, it ain't no exit. So we on
Speaker 1: the road and I'll be back at the bottom of
Speaker 1: the hour in the name or the Steve Harvin Moan
Speaker 1: and Show. We'll be right back right you're listening right now,
Speaker 1: It's time for the nephew to run that brank back.
Speaker 1: My dog, Apolo, let's go catch down. Hello, Hello, hey man,
Speaker 1: my name Virgil. Uh? Who who is this right here?
Speaker 1: Who is who is it you're speaking to? Marcus? What's
Speaker 1: going on? Okay, marcauts, let me ask you something. Man. Y'all, y'all,
Speaker 1: y'all aren't messed up. Y'all, y'all didn't got Apolo arrested
Speaker 1: last night on some trumped up charges. Man hold on,
Speaker 1: I'm lost here. What what what is this you're talking about?
Speaker 1: You got a Polo arrested last night on some trumped
Speaker 1: up charges. Whola bla bla bloa. Whoa sure you got
Speaker 1: it right now? No, man, y'all you and you and
Speaker 1: at you and at you and atenc Yeah okay this
Speaker 1: atc No tim, Now what is this about Apolo? Who
Speaker 1: is Apolo? I don't I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: You got, y'all, got a Polo arrested last night on
Speaker 1: some trumped up charges. You know not he down town
Speaker 1: and and and and if there is somebody pressing charges.
Speaker 1: So now I got to figure out how we're gonna
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get Apolo out of jail. Hold on, you come, man,
Speaker 1: I need calls. Go down town ain't going in so
Speaker 1: Apolo can come home. Fum the brakes. Boss, Listen to
Speaker 1: what you're saying. Now? Are you calling me about somebody
Speaker 1: that I don't even know? I ain't even I don't know,
Speaker 1: No Apolo, you know your I apologize for your home
Speaker 1: boy and and and everything that's going down, But I
Speaker 1: don't know nobody name Apollo. I really don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't know what you're talking about. So you know, y'all, y'all,
Speaker 1: y'all ain't called the police last night. Ain't nobody calling
Speaker 1: no police. You you ain't called You're gonna sit here
Speaker 1: in line to me and tell me you ain't called
Speaker 1: no police last night. Let's take this back. Now. Now
Speaker 1: what's your name? Man? My name is Virgil. And now
Speaker 1: now how you come about getting my nuther? Don't wonder
Speaker 1: about how I got you? No, my guy? Are you
Speaker 1: the one? I know? You? The one got Apollo arrested
Speaker 1: on these trump up charges? Don't work? Not home? How
Speaker 1: do you know? How do you know where I live?
Speaker 1: Because I live a boy of you? I live in
Speaker 1: nineteen c nineteen s nineteen so or you're the one
Speaker 1: that got the louns balking dog? All I was a hello,
Speaker 1: My dog is Apolo, my god, Apollo. Man, you got
Speaker 1: me thinking that you're talking about some human being. You
Speaker 1: sitting here calling me about something animal, something rested my
Speaker 1: last man. First of all, charge no ever deally you
Speaker 1: press in charge. Hey listened to get my dog out
Speaker 1: of jail? Man? And the thenly you need to listen
Speaker 1: to what you're talking about. Man. You calling me about
Speaker 1: some animal Listen, we called the front desks people about disturbance.
Speaker 1: Every time we look around, we hear your dog, So
Speaker 1: you might need it to take it over with whoever
Speaker 1: that's in charge with the apartment complex, because that's who
Speaker 1: we inform about your loud dog. And now you know
Speaker 1: you calling me. How you got my name, I don't know,
Speaker 1: but you need to check this out and and talk
Speaker 1: with the people that's in charge of the apartment complex.
Speaker 1: I'm taking it up with the person that the file
Speaker 1: to complaint and got my dog arrested last night. Now
Speaker 1: my dog down now on some Trump really charge really
Speaker 1: really didn't even read We didn't even read Apolo his
Speaker 1: right for nothing like that. Really, you really talking this?
Speaker 1: Listen what you're saying dogs man? And it's all let's
Speaker 1: call to you man. I think you need to uh,
Speaker 1: you need some counseling in something else because you're talking
Speaker 1: about a dog. How can a dog get arrested? You
Speaker 1: need to uh, this is crazy. Listen. I don't think
Speaker 1: we got anything else to talk about, man, because then
Speaker 1: we got we got to talk about a polo. Man,
Speaker 1: How how you gonna go down? I didn't get him
Speaker 1: out of jail. And you need to have him been
Speaker 1: here back to body this evening. I ain't even to
Speaker 1: go through this without my dog being here. This man
Speaker 1: sounds crazy. Baby, this man calling me about a dog
Speaker 1: being arrested. This is the dog that be balking. It's
Speaker 1: a Pololo man apoloism as a family member, and you
Speaker 1: have got him arrested. Man football, what and man? Why
Speaker 1: would you do something like that? Man? How about this
Speaker 1: you and that dog. Don't be calling me no more
Speaker 1: talking to me about some dog that I ain't got
Speaker 1: no control over. You need to take this over the
Speaker 1: police on whoever called? Ain't nobody calling the police. Did
Speaker 1: you just say, Polo man? Listen? Did you just say
Speaker 1: that you heard what I said? Okay, Okay, hey man,
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to argue. Okay, look look, let's let's
Speaker 1: just let's just do this here. Is it any way
Speaker 1: you could just come down there with me this evening
Speaker 1: and drop the charge. Come down, well, come to the
Speaker 1: police station. Man, Well Polo went dog dog? He doesn't listen? Listen, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to hollow he down there on some
Speaker 1: trump up charge. You can't pick him out in the
Speaker 1: lineup if you want follow clean. They got no friend.
Speaker 1: I can't. Man, listen, man, do you really hear what
Speaker 1: you're saying? Now? I know they say, man, best friend
Speaker 1: is a dog, but you're taking this a little bit
Speaker 1: too far now. You need to really listen to what
Speaker 1: you're talking about. You did all this, what you got
Speaker 1: a problem with this at the front desk and the police?
Speaker 1: If you got your dog just really don't make any
Speaker 1: sense right now to me. Now, I apologize once again
Speaker 1: about your dog, but I think we have our business finished,
Speaker 1: right man, because I tell you something. Let me tell
Speaker 1: you something. I'm gonna tell you this right here, Okay,
Speaker 1: monkers right yeah, okay, let me tell you this here.
Speaker 1: You're trying to testify against trying to testify against against
Speaker 1: Apolo see whateverver. But in the way you listen, man,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you like this, you Apolo, anything else
Speaker 1: that you got to say about this situation right here.
Speaker 1: You found my number, you found you know where I live.
Speaker 1: You just come see me. You really want that. I'm
Speaker 1: about to be through with this phone call. Man, I'll
Speaker 1: tell you what. I'll tell you what. Let me say
Speaker 1: this right here. I'm gonna say this right here to
Speaker 1: you try to try to try to get on the
Speaker 1: stand and testify against Apolo. And I promise you dog,
Speaker 1: you're gonna have some problems on your hands. You listen,
Speaker 1: you really talk to them some nonsense right now? Do
Speaker 1: you really hit what you're saying to me? Apolo is
Speaker 1: a dog? I know he a dog? He my dog?
Speaker 1: You know what I tell you? What? Hey? Man? How
Speaker 1: did how did pretty little wife for you? Is doom
Speaker 1: when it be at home while you're gonna work all day?
Speaker 1: Just say to me, how is that pretty little wife
Speaker 1: for you that be gone? That be at home when
Speaker 1: you're gonna what's your what's your name? A rich told
Speaker 1: you my name? Versa this nineteen see where you are right?
Speaker 1: Please please believe that's what we're about to meet right now,
Speaker 1: because now in nare's gonna come up here talking to
Speaker 1: me about my wife. So if it's any other dog
Speaker 1: you got up in the place, please believe that dog
Speaker 1: is gonna get right along with your Okay, I got
Speaker 1: one more to say to me because you ain't a
Speaker 1: little too far lynd with me and a dog. Now
Speaker 1: you're trying to talk about what's going on in my
Speaker 1: household and my wife. Please believe nineteenth is where you
Speaker 1: about to find me. Let me tell you who else
Speaker 1: up here in nineteen seats waiting on me all I'm
Speaker 1: about to get who else is all up in nineteen Okay,
Speaker 1: let me tell you who else is here? You want
Speaker 1: to know who else in here? Man, I'm gonna tell
Speaker 1: you this here nephew Thommy from the Steve Harbin Morning Show.
Speaker 1: He's up in here in nineteenth safan, What the hell nephew?
Speaker 1: This nephew Tommy? God man, you got me cousin and
Speaker 1: my Mom'm gonna be listening to this station. Your neighbor
Speaker 1: Gerald got thank you about the neighbor town saying, oh man, hey, man,
Speaker 1: you gotta tell me this baby. What's the baddest radio
Speaker 1: station in the land, The Steve Harving Morning Show? And
Speaker 1: nephew time is crazy? All right? Thank you? You're listening?
Speaker 1: All right, guys, it is time for something funny. I
Speaker 1: know you got it. I know I'm ready. Man. I
Speaker 1: was listening to my elsome old LTD this weekend. Steve Man, boy,
Speaker 1: who you know you boot me? I forgot how bad
Speaker 1: they were, man. I was bad. Dog dog thought, Oh
Speaker 1: your love this man, feeling fa your touch, Your touch
Speaker 1: has grown cold? Seeing someone else controls your very soul.
Speaker 1: I'm fooled down. Harden as long as I can, I
Speaker 1: can feel the presence or another man haking my place.
Speaker 1: You would stay just you watch me do drift away
Speaker 1: from Lige with thing, can't stop the huding, leaving on
Speaker 1: the run, taking awful Grahamy like you the only ones
Speaker 1: I know what you through? Pan anytime to carry on?
Speaker 1: So minute by minute by minute by I keep holding on. Man.
Speaker 1: Who else say somebody? Oh James j Lee think you anyway? Anyway?
Speaker 1: I do? Just say man, sag las show baby because
Speaker 1: so let's sid pass it by Gavin to make you cry.
Speaker 1: See the man with the bru huh you see that
Speaker 1: he is sad? Oh so sad, so bad, so bad,
Speaker 1: so bad? Come on, oh, intruders away my ma. She's
Speaker 1: my favorite girl. Only get one? You only get one? Yeah,
Speaker 1: all always love my mama. She brought me in this world,
Speaker 1: certainly talking about myma. Come on, come on, I want
Speaker 1: to know your name? Ye who stay hung to one over? Baby? Man,
Speaker 1: I really want to be with you about waiting got
Speaker 1: verse two cor s that can't be batch if you
Speaker 1: don't do another dope another that the way you go.
Speaker 1: Don't out thing a down name now with down name
Speaker 1: now taking the right Harold Melbourn and the blue nose.
Speaker 1: Come on, see, Oh you don't know me now you
Speaker 1: never know me who I've been here all the things? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it is that we've been read through. Miss baby, I've
Speaker 1: gotten mine and woman know you got your shoe? What
Speaker 1: what about this right here? Oh the greatest Yes, sir,
Speaker 1: miss you, sir, miss you, miss you, miss you, miss you?
Speaker 1: Was that baby that's Harold Melbourne. Girl, I know shoot
Speaker 1: the body that I just can't live without you. And
Speaker 1: that's why I'm confessing my love to you. Baby? Who else?
Speaker 1: Who else? You didn't do the dramatics? Ye wait, now
Speaker 1: you gave you roll at all? Nobody knows. And he
Speaker 1: wasn't true. He tried listen to this sweet than you.
Speaker 1: I never sweet up my shot set him on the
Speaker 1: wilcos change always know what the girl could never. So
Speaker 1: now he's trying hard to get you back. But you
Speaker 1: know the fool's hearts made of cell fane. You can
Speaker 1: see through that. When he had your loves and the
Speaker 1: palms of his hands, he just wasn't sentence man, I
Speaker 1: show He jibbed and gnada, he hand, I have another
Speaker 1: call right that by yourself. Oh, let's give a to
Speaker 1: give to give a toes to the fool who lets
Speaker 1: you go, who lets you go? You can't hurt you
Speaker 1: no more, no, no no, the fool to the fool
Speaker 1: who lets you go? Who lets you go? Now we
Speaker 1: went together your normal. Let's have another one. I make
Speaker 1: you drive that music, make you drive cross country when
Speaker 1: you got good music. Let me tell you it'll make
Speaker 1: you dry a cross country for a reason. Yes, listen,
Speaker 1: that's we got to keep that in the show. That's
Speaker 1: you're listening to. All right, guys, here's a question. What
Speaker 1: product or what brand reminds you of your childhood home?
Speaker 1: All right, here's an email from Tea from New Orleans.
Speaker 1: It says, Hey, morning crew. Every time I see the
Speaker 1: Quaker oat meal bottle the box, I think of my
Speaker 1: mom's house when I was a kid. She always had
Speaker 1: a box of it on top of our refrigerator. When
Speaker 1: I go to visit my pop's house, he always had
Speaker 1: a box of frosted Flakes frosted Flakes cereal in his pantry.
Speaker 1: In fact, uh, he probably does right now with Brander product.
Speaker 1: Did your childhood home always have in stock. I got
Speaker 1: a bunch of I knew it ready for me. What like,
Speaker 1: what steve you go first? Comment comment? Yea, yes, a
Speaker 1: green asshole can a comment with the peel off top
Speaker 1: with the eight holes in the top. Yeah, then and
Speaker 1: washed all your sinks in your bathtub out. But let
Speaker 1: it sit though, Let it sit for a minute. Yeah,
Speaker 1: changed color. Ain't opened up refrigerator while seeing an open
Speaker 1: box of arm and hammer baker so yeah yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: yea sitting stove that matchwell or folders coffee can with
Speaker 1: the grease. Yes, yes, it's real thick memories. Yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: In the in the bathroom crash toothpaste, Oh oh you
Speaker 1: were cresspeople. No, we wasn't really cresh Yeah yeah we
Speaker 1: had that too. We we was whatever was on sale
Speaker 1: people though, ultra brightness. I thought that was just the
Speaker 1: greatest thing. Go ahead, if if we ran out of
Speaker 1: that toothpaste, then we go to that fridge with that
Speaker 1: bacon soda wood and going in get yeah yeah, and
Speaker 1: dip that tooth Yeah. I actually brushed my teeth better
Speaker 1: with bacons. Hello. Yeah, yeah, all right, how about this
Speaker 1: come tide laundry detergent time tied to have some time.
Speaker 1: Ivory's ain't that liquid? That's washing powder? We have that, right,
Speaker 1: faun in the big blue box. Damn fair, But you didn't.
Speaker 1: Did you have ivory soap though? Did you have ivory
Speaker 1: soap to take your bath? Die? Die die? We had
Speaker 1: we had ivory soap. Yeah, it floated in the water ivory. Yeah. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's go in the bathroom and up underneath that counter.
Speaker 1: It's a little red crip can, got some grease in
Speaker 1: it called royal crown. Huh what all your scalp with
Speaker 1: that right there? Yeah, that's how I got my hands.
Speaker 1: We're in the bathroom. We're in the bathroom. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're in the bathroom. Scott single ply Shet. You had
Speaker 1: to be careful wiping yourself with that damn single plot. Man.
Speaker 1: I can't tell you how many times I misjudged it
Speaker 1: and pushed my frangle. Okay, yeah, we got it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we got single single plot. My daddy loved that. Boy.
Speaker 1: You get a thousand sheets? Yeah yeah? Oh wait, do
Speaker 1: y'all remember aim aim two pages to strip? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: we strike gleam uh huh. I got on that bottle
Speaker 1: that hung on the back of the door. Looked like
Speaker 1: a hot water bottle with the tube on it and
Speaker 1: a spring. Boy, me my nephew got to ask whooping
Speaker 1: our life? One time, we feel that my mama had
Speaker 1: went and we found it on the back of the door.
Speaker 1: We'd always wondered what it was, so we put water
Speaker 1: in it, and we found out that it's that the
Speaker 1: water squeezed through them little holes on that white timp.
Speaker 1: So we're chasing each other around the house water hurting
Speaker 1: each other. Okay, then he fill up the bag and
Speaker 1: it was my time to have and then he have
Speaker 1: it under his arm. My mama came in that house.
Speaker 1: My mama said, it's all this vinegar in him. Now,
Speaker 1: we didn't even know. We didn't know nothing about no
Speaker 1: vinegar smell. She said, what is all this vinegar I
Speaker 1: smelled in this house? Now we saw them out, Oh
Speaker 1: that ain't not as cool. We were sweating water. Well,
Speaker 1: we sat there. My mama got to do in the
Speaker 1: mouth and went back in now and touched that hot
Speaker 1: water bottle with the holes on it, and boy, we
Speaker 1: got ee as And then so we didn't even know
Speaker 1: why we got beat. And then my brother was talking
Speaker 1: to us. Hey man, yeah, let me ask you something, Steve,
Speaker 1: what is in that? Grandmama was water bottle from the baby? Said, nah,
Speaker 1: we was playing water gun with it. He said, well
Speaker 1: you know what that act? Right? Yeah, I don't know
Speaker 1: what it is. When he said, that's a lady's bag.
Speaker 1: And then I said, I don't what what what? Because
Speaker 1: I'm clueless what you mean it's a lady's bag. That's
Speaker 1: a douche bag. Still, I'm clueless. Boy. When my damn
Speaker 1: brother told me what that bag was, man, I'm shooting
Speaker 1: water in my mouth. I'm fired, full blast. I got
Speaker 1: the bag under my arm, mouth wide over. That's what
Speaker 1: I said. That's when I first found out I want
Speaker 1: a little tangy now, oh my god, because you know,
Speaker 1: because you know, they had a special solution. They put
Speaker 1: it in you put Vinig in it too, and that's
Speaker 1: we know. And I had no idea. All Right, we're
Speaker 1: moving on. Thank you. You're listening to show, all right, Steve,
Speaker 1: We're gonna try to make people laugh during this segment
Speaker 1: with another quick fast round of asked the clo uh,
Speaker 1: please submit your questions. Okay, so do you want me
Speaker 1: to go for laughter answers or help people give it
Speaker 1: to me? Now? Well, they were, can you do you
Speaker 1: do that all the time? All right? Here we go them,
Speaker 1: I thought you were asking. I was asking you what
Speaker 1: you already know? How? Yeah, it is answers. Here we go.
Speaker 1: This is this one. This one is Lisa in Oklahoma.
Speaker 1: I'm a twenty three year old woman. I recently got
Speaker 1: married a week after my virtual college graduation. My husband
Speaker 1: and I were virgins when we got married, but we
Speaker 1: love making love now. I just have one problem. My
Speaker 1: husband loves to have sex early in the morning. That
Speaker 1: was great during quarantine, but now I'm back at work
Speaker 1: and the sex makes me late for work. I heard
Speaker 1: about doing quickies, but my husband can't do those. I'm
Speaker 1: new to all of this, so how do I tell
Speaker 1: him know when he wants sex in the morning. He
Speaker 1: don't really want sex in the morning. What he want
Speaker 1: to do, it's just a natural occurrence in the morning.
Speaker 1: That ain't sex, that's just early morning. It happened. We
Speaker 1: just up, we are, we are, you are, I'm we
Speaker 1: are what we're gonna do And he don't really want sex.
Speaker 1: He don't know yet. Because if you say he was
Speaker 1: a virgin, which happened twenty three, yeah, well he wasn't
Speaker 1: but anyway up, he lyned up? What boy no listening
Speaker 1: to me? That ain't that ain't no problem. Y'all having
Speaker 1: sex and can't go to work on turn? That ain't
Speaker 1: no damn problem. She twenty three. That ain't no problem.
Speaker 1: Say no, it's your body? What is we're tripping phone?
Speaker 1: He but he can't say no to his body though.
Speaker 1: It's what I'm fine to morning occurrence that happens with
Speaker 1: men up to a certain age, and he can't help it.
Speaker 1: Just get your ass up, foe, heat up and go
Speaker 1: to work. You're gonna lose your job before up? All right?
Speaker 1: Next Ye in Atlanta says, I'm a twenty nine year
Speaker 1: old female. My boyfriend is thirty two. We've been together
Speaker 1: three years. He's changed over the years, and it's a
Speaker 1: lot less sociable now. Uh. He says he's in love
Speaker 1: with me, but I don't feel it. I post pictures
Speaker 1: of us on my social media pages, but he won't
Speaker 1: post any pictures of me on or us on his page.
Speaker 1: He told me he keeps his private life private, but
Speaker 1: if he hangs out with his female friends, he posts
Speaker 1: group pictures of them. Am I being too patty? Or
Speaker 1: do you think he has something to hide. Yeah, he
Speaker 1: don't care for you no more. Damn, it's three years.
Speaker 1: He's changed his attitude and change. He don't care for you.
Speaker 1: And he got female friends he posted, but there ain't
Speaker 1: no pictures of you. Do the math one and one
Speaker 1: is two. You ain't in nothing but choe picture. That's one.
Speaker 1: He and all his girlfriends pictures And why do he
Speaker 1: hair girl friends? All right? Coming out more of the
Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show right after this. You're listening Steve
Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show. All right, Steve our very own Jay
Speaker 1: Anthony Brown is always here with the foolishness. Can count
Speaker 1: on him. He's got the tails on his brand new book,
Speaker 1: tell us about it. Just finished my new book, Steve,
Speaker 1: and it's called one hundred and one Ways to Start
Speaker 1: an Argument. Several chapters in the book. Um chapter one,
Speaker 1: you know, laugh on the phone for no reason, just
Speaker 1: just laugh. Yeah, it would start an argument. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah yeah. His chapter chapter seven is a real good chapter.
Speaker 1: Take a shower in the middle of the day, just
Speaker 1: just showering. Yeah, where you going showering? That's am on Sunday.
Speaker 1: This is a good one for Sunday. Say say I'm
Speaker 1: going to a different church by myself. That's what you
Speaker 1: say on Sam's Gonna be on. Ways to start an argument, Yeah,
Speaker 1: put an empty bag in the closet and just walk away.
Speaker 1: Just put it up and just walk away. Yeah, what's
Speaker 1: on there? Don't worry about that. Don't go up there.
Speaker 1: Don't go up there. It's what you mean. Don't go
Speaker 1: up there. Don't go up there, don't go up there.
Speaker 1: All right, Ways to start the arguments, say the phrase
Speaker 1: right here. This really works. Say I'll be right back
Speaker 1: and leave, just leave, just leave. Where are you going,
Speaker 1: I'll be right back. Don't worry about when I'm going.
Speaker 1: I'll be right back. You mean, no weary about it? Yeah,
Speaker 1: just out of what you just pray right here on
Speaker 1: the phone. This really gets an argument. Say good job, Beckett,
Speaker 1: I'll see you tomorrow. And up the phone, Becky with
Speaker 1: the good hair back? Why the hair you got to
Speaker 1: encourage Becky? Damn good job Beckett? Where she do so?
Speaker 1: Where your black starts to be? Commenting on it? A
Speaker 1: book How to start an argument as your mate, your lady,
Speaker 1: when's U? Where's your friend coming over here? You know
Speaker 1: when she ain't been wish come here? Oh? Oh no, yeah,
Speaker 1: that started argument of m Yeah, he's a pretty good jay. Argument. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Ways to started argument. No matter what movie she says
Speaker 1: she want to go to, you say, oh, I seen
Speaker 1: it already. I oh you're you're going the movies now,
Speaker 1: okay to see Yeah, I've seen that. Let's I've seen that.
Speaker 1: I've seen it. I seen it. Here's another one. Here's
Speaker 1: another one. Ways to start an argument. You own the
Speaker 1: phone and you laugh real damn loud, and then you
Speaker 1: start whispering. Boy, and this is why he's divorced. Jake,
Speaker 1: you know how to run somebody? All you give me one,
Speaker 1: give me one. I put it in the book. Buy
Speaker 1: your wife some running shoes. Wow far color? Yeah, man, yeah,
Speaker 1: by some running shoes that do it. Yeah. All of
Speaker 1: a sudden, All of a sudden, in the middle of
Speaker 1: the day, you put on a clean shirt. You woke
Speaker 1: up in one shirt and put on another. What you
Speaker 1: change your shirts for? Cannot just put on a new shirt? Now? No, No,
Speaker 1: you cannot. What's wrong with all? Can just go with
Speaker 1: the book, Jake? I just had one moment, last one moment?
Speaker 1: You ready? Yeah? Come on? He started argument in your house? Guarantee?
Speaker 1: Come on? What come in from work and pull your
Speaker 1: pants off and ain't got no draws? All right, thanks
Speaker 1: Jay and Steve. You just command up next with today's
Speaker 1: today's brank phone call. Right after that, you're listening to
Speaker 1: morning show coming up at the top of the hour.
Speaker 1: Right about four minutes after, it's my strawberry letter for today,
Speaker 1: subject he stole my heart and a few other things. Okay, first,
Speaker 1: if you're gonna steal man right first of you, Tommy
Speaker 1: is here, you here right there with today's praying phone call.
Speaker 1: What you got for his nap? Me and your baby
Speaker 1: getting married? Me and your baby getting married? Did you call?
Speaker 1: I called this man and told him that I'm married
Speaker 1: his daughter, Me and your baby might be a bit
Speaker 1: too much. It's getting married. Let's run that thing. Hello, Hello,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to reach I'm trying to reach mister. Yes, mister,
Speaker 1: how you doing. I'm trying. Let me let me make
Speaker 1: you I'm calling the right person. Your daughter is Crystal? Yes, okay, cool, yo,
Speaker 1: I got the right person. Hey, listen, Well, I wanted
Speaker 1: to do mister Richards's call and introduce myself to you
Speaker 1: and let you know who I was. My name is Jeff, Jeff,
Speaker 1: and I've been uh seeing Crystal, uh, you know, pretty
Speaker 1: much like the last five or six months, and I
Speaker 1: wanted to, um, let you know that I'm very very
Speaker 1: interested in you. And I know this kind of crazy
Speaker 1: for you to get a phone call for me when
Speaker 1: I'm very interested in Crystal right now. And I wanted to,
Speaker 1: you know, I just wanted to do the man thing
Speaker 1: and just reach out to your man and say I'm
Speaker 1: really interested in and uh in marrying your daughter and
Speaker 1: marrying my daughter. Well, hold on, man, what my name is, Jeff? Jeff? Okay, Jeff, Jeff, listen.
Speaker 1: I'm very close with my daughter, and my daughter has
Speaker 1: never ever mentioned you. I talked to my daughter every day. Wow,
Speaker 1: I don't know what that's about. What it's been like
Speaker 1: about five close to six months that me and Cristal
Speaker 1: being you know, going out, you know, up here at
Speaker 1: the school. But what I wanted to do is tell
Speaker 1: you that I really really really like Crystal man. Uh,
Speaker 1: And I wanted to call and tell you that, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm really really interested in man, Crystal. You know, I want,
Speaker 1: I really do want Christa to be my wife. Well,
Speaker 1: I again, I've never heard of you before, and my
Speaker 1: daughter has never ever mentioned you. My daughter isn't dating
Speaker 1: anybody right now. My daughter is in grad school. I
Speaker 1: understand that. And you know, we you know, it's been
Speaker 1: you know, we've been you know, a little back and
Speaker 1: forth or whatever. But you know, the main thing is
Speaker 1: me and Christal really, you know, we really, we really
Speaker 1: do love each other. Mister. I want to but if
Speaker 1: you love my daughter, she would have told me that
Speaker 1: she was in love with someone. Well, you know what
Speaker 1: you know, And maybe it's a situation where Christa is
Speaker 1: like a little maybe a little uneasy about talking to
Speaker 1: you about it. You know what I'm saying. My daughter
Speaker 1: can talk to me about anything. We talk every day,
Speaker 1: right right, You're like you, I talked to my daughter
Speaker 1: every day, your daughter? And how old is your daughter?
Speaker 1: My daughter? Fifteen? Hold on, momnute man, you say your
Speaker 1: daughter was fifteen, right right? Right? Okay? Well how old
Speaker 1: are you? I'm forty six, forty six, you're forty six
Speaker 1: years old? You want to marn my twenty five year
Speaker 1: old daughter? He let me say this right here. Love
Speaker 1: ain't got no limit, man, And I understand, you know,
Speaker 1: I was a little shocked at first about the age
Speaker 1: difference between us, but you get you know what, man,
Speaker 1: I'm shocked to me, okay, and I understand that. But
Speaker 1: what I'm trying to explain to you, man, is that
Speaker 1: it comes a time man when you just you just
Speaker 1: don't know what's gonna happen. Man. Love just love is love, man,
Speaker 1: And you've been locked up on parole at the university
Speaker 1: on work releasing that my daughter. Yeah, man, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say this, man, Christal is just a beautiful person. Man.
Speaker 1: Hold on, man, you calling me at the Blue Daughter. Look, man,
Speaker 1: I'm never worked. I got a lot of work on
Speaker 1: my damn desk and you calling me telling me you
Speaker 1: form a gentle bird wants to marry my daughter, my
Speaker 1: twenty five year old daughter and you damn that fifty you,
Speaker 1: I mean my age, you want to marry my daughter. Man,
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to talk to you. But what I
Speaker 1: need to do is I need to talk to Crystal
Speaker 1: and get to the bottom of this. That's what the
Speaker 1: hell I need to do. Hey, And I understand that
Speaker 1: miss you was probably gonna I want to talk to
Speaker 1: and I ain't got no problem with it. What I'm
Speaker 1: trying to explain to you is that man, littve ain't
Speaker 1: got no limit, man, It's just something that album Crystal
Speaker 1: love Me, I love huh and it is what it is.
Speaker 1: I just wanted to try to get your blessings on this.
Speaker 1: You can't get sill. Man, gonna marry my daughter? No,
Speaker 1: my daughter's been a private school. I love damn life.
Speaker 1: She's going all four years of college and she's going
Speaker 1: to grad school and you're gonna marry my daughter. You're working, miss.
Speaker 1: I understand that. What I'm what I'm trying to explain
Speaker 1: to you that you know what, man, Sometimes I love
Speaker 1: is right the second time around, you understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: What the hell you mean the second time? I got
Speaker 1: kids already. What I'm trying to say, it didn't work
Speaker 1: out with me on the first time. What I wanted
Speaker 1: to do, man, is just called you solidified the culinary experience,
Speaker 1: got to doing food. What the hell is you talking
Speaker 1: about it? Look? Look, look, look, look, I gotta talk
Speaker 1: to my daughter. I'm gonna call Crystal and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: find out what the hell is going on, because look, man,
Speaker 1: I'm not even trying to have this conversation with you,
Speaker 1: and I comp understand all that. I understand what you're saying.
Speaker 1: What I want to say to you is just right here.
Speaker 1: Crystal is twenty five. Even if you don't agree with this, here,
Speaker 1: we're gonna eat Lowe and make sure that we can
Speaker 1: look at him. You ain't doing a thing with my
Speaker 1: daughter unless it's mine. You look here, man, you ain't
Speaker 1: doing I don't even know your jail bird. You ain't doing.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call my daughter final. You really are rust
Speaker 1: your mind. You think your old jail bird, it's gonna
Speaker 1: be Larry and my daughter. My daughter's not a future.
Speaker 1: You ain't got the head. That's wrong with jil rust.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say it. Go. I can fall with you. Miss.
Speaker 1: Me and Crystal getting married. That will not happen under
Speaker 1: any circumstances, not what you think. The circumstances are me
Speaker 1: and Crystal getting married. That's it, not to love. I
Speaker 1: don't know what the hell you think you are. As
Speaker 1: long as you don't, it's gotta be. I got one
Speaker 1: more thing I need to say, and then me and
Speaker 1: Crystal just gonna come over there and dry down there
Speaker 1: and tell you exactly what's going on in our life.
Speaker 1: Right now. You got to say to me, are you
Speaker 1: listening to me. Yes, you got to say to me.
Speaker 1: I got to say this. This is nephew Tommy from
Speaker 1: the Steve Harby Morning Show. You just got pranked by
Speaker 1: your daughter Crystal and her boyfriend. Ain't I'm outside my job.
Speaker 1: Let me I'm crazy, John, and man, your baby girl
Speaker 1: just wanted to put a smile on your face. Man,
Speaker 1: I gotta ask you, what is what is the baddest
Speaker 1: and I mean the baddest radio show in the land, man,
Speaker 1: the Steam Harvey Morning shuff That's how you do it? Baby?
Speaker 1: Oh lord, oh man, not having it that take your
Speaker 1: daddy through somebody's little girl right now, he said, my
Speaker 1: fifteen year old yo, what you know? You know the
Speaker 1: second the second time around? You know what I mean
Speaker 1: the second time around? What you talking about? Love is love? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Cause you have daughters. Yea, Oh my god. That's how
Speaker 1: you do it. Baby. Go to Thomas Smiles dot com.
Speaker 1: Click on the prank button. Ain't leave me all your information.
Speaker 1: I call you, We talk you let me know who
Speaker 1: were pranking. We work out our plan and that's how
Speaker 1: we do it. Thomas Miles dot Com. I promise you
Speaker 1: We're gonna prank some great ones. That's what I do.
Speaker 1: That's crazy, man, that's whoa Tommy. All right, coming up next,
Speaker 1: it is today's Strawberry Letter. Wait till you guys hear this.
Speaker 1: When you thought yesterday's was crazy, well this one is
Speaker 1: crazy too. The subject is he stole my heart and
Speaker 1: a few other things. He stole my heart and a
Speaker 1: few other things. We're gonna get into it, Steve, and
Speaker 1: I you're gonna steal, though, Shirley. If you're gonna steal,
Speaker 1: I mean still a lot. Don't you steal your heart?
Speaker 1: I mean, if you're gonna fevery going in feveryck one
Speaker 1: more time. He stole my heart and a few other things.
Speaker 1: We'll get into the Strawberry Letter right after this. You're
Speaker 1: listening to show. All right, guys, time now for today's
Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter and listen. If you need advice on sex,
Speaker 1: on dating, relationships, work, parenting, and more, please submit your
Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM dot com and click
Speaker 1: submit Strawberry Letter. We could well, I don't know, we
Speaker 1: could reach your letter like we're gonna do that one
Speaker 1: today could be puppy, buck up and hold on tight.
Speaker 1: We got it for you. Here. It is the strawberry letter,
Speaker 1: Thank you nephews, subject he stole my heart and a
Speaker 1: few other things. Dear Stephen Shirley. A while back, I
Speaker 1: met a man on a dating app and it was
Speaker 1: supposed to be just a one night stand. He came
Speaker 1: over and we had the most explosive sex. After that,
Speaker 1: we talked all night. He lives out of town, and
Speaker 1: when he got back home, we talked daily and spend
Speaker 1: hours getting to know each other. He came back to
Speaker 1: visit me because he was dying to have sex with me.
Speaker 1: We admitted that we were catching feelings. After he left,
Speaker 1: I noticed that he changed If I missed his call,
Speaker 1: he called me back to back until I answered. It
Speaker 1: was so sweet, but I kept reassuring him that I
Speaker 1: wasn't cheating. He came to visit again, and this time
Speaker 1: he brought some of his clothes and a few personal
Speaker 1: things to leave at my house. This made me so
Speaker 1: happy because it meant we were an official couple. Whenever
Speaker 1: we got into arguments, he jokingly say, don't make me
Speaker 1: pop up to see what you're doing. I never thought
Speaker 1: he would do it, but he did. One Saturday, I
Speaker 1: volunteered to feed the homeless, and I couldn't use my
Speaker 1: phone while I was serving due to the COVID nineteen guidelines.
Speaker 1: At the place, I went for four hours without answering
Speaker 1: my man's calls and he lost it. When I got home,
Speaker 1: he had kicked my door in and he left me
Speaker 1: a note. I discovered that he took all of his clothes,
Speaker 1: and he also took my four two inch TV, two lamps,
Speaker 1: some of my shoes, some frozen steaks, and the microwave.
Speaker 1: It was so random, since he has never bought me anything.
Speaker 1: I called to beg him to come back, but he
Speaker 1: said it's over and he never wants to see me again.
Speaker 1: How can I get this man to see that I
Speaker 1: would never cheat on him? How can I fix this? Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna read your words back to you and see
Speaker 1: if this sparks anything in your brain. You say, when
Speaker 1: I got home, he had kicked my door in. He'd
Speaker 1: left me a note. I discovered he took all of
Speaker 1: my clothes, and he also took my forty two inch
Speaker 1: TV to lamp, some of my shoes, some frozen steaks,
Speaker 1: and the microwave. Okay, does that sound crazy to you?
Speaker 1: I mean, doesn't that sound a little crazy? It does
Speaker 1: to me. I'm sure it does to Steve and to
Speaker 1: everyone else listening. So why, why why would you want
Speaker 1: this ignorant man back in your life? I honestly, it
Speaker 1: sounds scary. I mean, who does this? He sounds like
Speaker 1: some kind of psychopath to me, I just say, consider
Speaker 1: yourself blessed that that's all. He took the TV in
Speaker 1: the microwave and some shoes, and I really don't get
Speaker 1: the stakes part anyway. He sounds violent, he sounds controlling,
Speaker 1: he sounds possessive. To me, I'm so glad. I'm really
Speaker 1: glad you weren't in the house because I think he
Speaker 1: would have put his hands on you. I really do.
Speaker 1: And it's really a shame I think that I have
Speaker 1: to tell you this. It really pains me, honestly, because
Speaker 1: you gotta know, you need to know this, that you
Speaker 1: shouldn't be so desperate that you would think that you
Speaker 1: would have to beg this man to come back to
Speaker 1: you to do what I mean, let him go, please, girl,
Speaker 1: you gotta let him go, and don't ever invite him
Speaker 1: back to your house. I mean, he tried to destroy
Speaker 1: your house. He kicked the door in. Come on, he's
Speaker 1: a thief. Remember that, Please don't forget that. Let's be clear.
Speaker 1: This man sounds very stable. I think you need to
Speaker 1: run and run quickly and get away from him. Steve
Speaker 1: Well good letters, Shirley. I see a little something else
Speaker 1: in here that I probably need to go over and cover. Yes,
Speaker 1: met this man on this day. Now, this way, this
Speaker 1: went wrong. It was supposed to be a one night stand.
Speaker 1: This a hit it, quitt it, sock it, knock it,
Speaker 1: throw it, catch it. He came over and we had,
Speaker 1: in your words, the most explosive sex. Now, let me
Speaker 1: show you what happens after you have explosive sex. Y'all
Speaker 1: talk daily spend. I was getting to know each other.
Speaker 1: Came back to visit because he was dying to have
Speaker 1: sex with me again. You know why, because it was explosive.
Speaker 1: We admitted we was catching feelings. He left and I
Speaker 1: noticed he changed. If I missed his calls, he would
Speaker 1: call me back to back to back. You know why,
Speaker 1: because y'all had explosive sex. Explosive sex will make you
Speaker 1: call back to back to back to back. Damn it.
Speaker 1: Answer me. If you'd just had regular sex, none of
Speaker 1: this would be happening to you. Yeah, you thought it
Speaker 1: was so sweet, didn't you. I kept with shooting him.
Speaker 1: I wasn't cheating. He came to visit again, and this
Speaker 1: time he bought some clothes with him and a few
Speaker 1: personal things and leaving my house. You know why, because
Speaker 1: y'all was down there. Haven't exploding six, just blowing a scoon,
Speaker 1: just blowing up stove, snatching piers out of gnas, dropping
Speaker 1: it on the side of the bed. This made me happy.
Speaker 1: It made you think you was an official couple. Whenever
Speaker 1: we got into arguments, he jokingly, safe, don't make me
Speaker 1: pop up. See what you're doing. You know why, man,
Speaker 1: just pop up, because y'all had explosive six. Explosive This
Speaker 1: your whole damn problem. That all right? Hold on explosive six.
Speaker 1: Hold on, Steve, we'll have part two of your response
Speaker 1: showing up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's
Speaker 1: subject he Stole my Heart and a few other things.
Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
Speaker 1: to Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, Come on, Steve,
Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry Letters. Subject he Stole my Heart
Speaker 1: and a few other things. Met a man on the
Speaker 1: day nap hooked up with him. Supposed to be a
Speaker 1: one night stand, end up having the most explosive sex ever.
Speaker 1: He called every day because you was having explosive sex.
Speaker 1: He came back because he missed you so much. Because
Speaker 1: y'all was having explosive sex. He admitted that he wanted you.
Speaker 1: Y'all had sex. I missed his call. He called back
Speaker 1: to back to back because y'all was having explosive sex.
Speaker 1: You thought it was sweet. And then he came to visit.
Speaker 1: He bought some clothes and left some personal things at
Speaker 1: the house. That's so he can just have a shirt
Speaker 1: over there, because you don't. After you have explosive sex,
Speaker 1: you need to have a change of clothes explosive sex
Speaker 1: and put them same draws on you. Explosive sex, you
Speaker 1: gotta change your side. See explosive sex is different. Your
Speaker 1: belt probably don't fasten no more. You need a set
Speaker 1: of clothes, shoe strings and came all out your shoes
Speaker 1: because y'all have an explosive second you open the doors,
Speaker 1: he diving across the porch. Then when y'all have an arguments,
Speaker 1: he say, don't make me pop up and see what
Speaker 1: you're doing. I never thought he'd do it, but he did.
Speaker 1: You down there trying to feed the homeless. You volunteer
Speaker 1: to feed him, and you can't use your phone while
Speaker 1: you're serving because you're dipping food due to the COVID guidelines.
Speaker 1: You went four hours without answering your man's car and
Speaker 1: dog gonn it. He lost it. You know why he
Speaker 1: lost it because he was looking. But that explosive sex,
Speaker 1: and it was not on the phone every time. When
Speaker 1: I got home, he didn't kick your dough in and
Speaker 1: left you a note. But you discovered he took all
Speaker 1: his clothes, took you for the two inch TV, two lamps,
Speaker 1: some of your shoes, some frozen steaks, and the microwave. Now,
Speaker 1: after he did all that, this is what you said.
Speaker 1: It was so random since he never bought me anything.
Speaker 1: He didn't buy me no shoes or no microwave, and
Speaker 1: just taking TVs down off the wall. I don't understand
Speaker 1: he didn't buy none of that stuff. That was your
Speaker 1: statement after that. Then right after that, you said I
Speaker 1: called to beg him back. Let's park this letter for
Speaker 1: a minute. What is wrong with you? See, maybe this
Speaker 1: explosive sex wasn't just having him do ignorant mess. It's
Speaker 1: got you doing ignorant mess too. So a man kick
Speaker 1: your dough in, leave you a note, took his clothes,
Speaker 1: your forty two, his TV, two lamps, some of your shoes,
Speaker 1: some frozen steaks in the microwave, and you begged him
Speaker 1: to come back. What did he miss something? Baby? You
Speaker 1: got to come back. I can't believe you left all
Speaker 1: this chicken in this freezer. How can I get this
Speaker 1: man to see that I would never cheat on him?
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, sure he had this right? What are
Speaker 1: you talking about? Why are you concerned with getting him
Speaker 1: back and trying to prove to this man that you
Speaker 1: didn't cheat? He kicked your doing Yes, come on, he
Speaker 1: took a flash grew You're not how hard he had,
Speaker 1: take a far to two inch TV off al wall,
Speaker 1: put it in your car with your shoes. Oh damn microwave?
Speaker 1: How did he get that microwave? About that wall? Can
Speaker 1: I ask you something? Huh? Why did he take frozen steaks?
Speaker 1: So because he had to drive home? They keep better?
Speaker 1: Oh so you know, taking that out thefrigerator because he'd
Speaker 1: be small, it's hot. He put him in a trunk
Speaker 1: back that that engine, that engine kicking off heat off
Speaker 1: that muffler, okay, and it'd be small by the time
Speaker 1: he get home. Okay, okay. And then you know he
Speaker 1: probably stay out of time down because they met on
Speaker 1: the app. Yeah, he does. He spent and they talked daily,
Speaker 1: and he came back to visits. He came back to
Speaker 1: visit me from out of town. He didn't come over,
Speaker 1: he came back to visit. He stay out of town.
Speaker 1: So you still frozen states because they keep on the
Speaker 1: highway back. You know what, I'm not thank you for
Speaker 1: bringing it. Yeah, I appreciate it. You got to thank
Speaker 1: this thing out. You don't when you fit to go
Speaker 1: back home. You gotta drive awhile. You don't take an
Speaker 1: out refrigerator that's pass. You get it frozen so it
Speaker 1: can last. I don't know why I would not want
Speaker 1: to see him again, all having all this exploding sex
Speaker 1: and he's still in stuff and he didn't explode it
Speaker 1: so good. I don't even know he's still in stuff
Speaker 1: to kick the whole damn though. And you ain't got
Speaker 1: a lock no more. You ain't there trying to go
Speaker 1: to bed to night. You don't leave some cardboard up
Speaker 1: get show though, that's crazy. She wants to how can
Speaker 1: I fix this? What did you do wrong? Because I'm
Speaker 1: looking in the letter. I'm trying to figure out what
Speaker 1: you did wrong? Lady? What's wrong with you? Don't you?
Speaker 1: You are what's called broun. Don't get on this explosive
Speaker 1: set and get yourself hurt. Something wrong with him? Bron,
Speaker 1: you don't answer the phone. He kicked a doe in
Speaker 1: the star stilling and she's just madam. But the whole
Speaker 1: damn dough When you kick the doe in dog, you
Speaker 1: know how hard he is kick a doe in man.
Speaker 1: Everybody can't do it any all right, Thank you, Steve.
Speaker 1: Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey
Speaker 1: FM on Instagram and Facebook, and please don't forget to
Speaker 1: check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand coming out.
Speaker 1: More of the Steve Harvey Morning Show right after this.
Speaker 1: You're listening Steven Show. All right, guys, it is time
Speaker 1: Steve for comedy roulette. You're ready. Jay explained it again.
Speaker 1: Let me break this down very simple. Give us five subjects.
Speaker 1: Put them on a wheel. Yeah, spun the wheel stop. Yes,
Speaker 1: spun as a spin. That's totally different. Red, spun it
Speaker 1: around stop. We'll do the damn thing all right. Number one.
Speaker 1: Things you say to yourself when you're mad at someone.
Speaker 1: Number two, you know it's time to go to the
Speaker 1: store when dot dot dad. Number three stuff you don't
Speaker 1: like to watch, but you watch it anyway to keep
Speaker 1: them happy. You know we all know about that or him? Whatever.
Speaker 1: Come home, let's go cat. Let's whoa it came on.
Speaker 1: Number one. Things you say to yourself when you're mad
Speaker 1: at someone. Say to you yourself when you're mad at someone,
Speaker 1: I canna. Here's some things you say to yourself when
Speaker 1: you're mad at somebody. I'm gonna let it go this time,
Speaker 1: but the next damn time. Oh, it's gonna be hell,
Speaker 1: gonna be hell. It's gonna be hell. Just when I
Speaker 1: always say to myself when i'm mad at other people,
Speaker 1: I'm trying not to go jail. I'm doing my best.
Speaker 1: You say I'm doing my best right now. I'm trying
Speaker 1: not to go to jail. You're really mad, No, now
Speaker 1: you're mad, court dates everything trying, nephew, you know what.
Speaker 1: That's all right? Drink that water that I put up
Speaker 1: in that all right. Things you say to yourself when
Speaker 1: you're mad at someone Steve better go ahead, only you
Speaker 1: better go head on. Now this is black, that's all
Speaker 1: it is. God. Then you say to yourself when you're
Speaker 1: mad and somebody, Lord, please work with me, Jesus, please please, Father, Father,
Speaker 1: take me down so I don't kill us. That's what
Speaker 1: I always say that I'm always man somebody. It's just
Speaker 1: something you said before. Do somebody, that's why your ass broke.
Speaker 1: Now that hurt. That hurts, but you say it to yourself. Yeah,
Speaker 1: show glad that ain't my big coming up More of
Speaker 1: the Steve Harvey Morning Show right after this. You're listening,
Speaker 1: the guys are here, they're gonna break down. You know
Speaker 1: you've had good sex when dot dot dot I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do a couple and then I know the guy's gonna
Speaker 1: jump in. I know the a lot of people have
Speaker 1: been getting used to one another and they've rested damn,
Speaker 1: so that they've been thrown down some good loving. You
Speaker 1: know you have had some good sex. When you wake
Speaker 1: up with one sock on you like, damn, what the
Speaker 1: hell happened? Where's my sock? There's another one? You know
Speaker 1: you've had some good ass loving when both of y'all
Speaker 1: wake up between the two mattresses, like, yeah, the mattress
Speaker 1: is on top that good. Two more, I got two
Speaker 1: more got you know, just for the men, Just for
Speaker 1: the men. You have had some good a loving when
Speaker 1: you wake up you look in the mirror and you
Speaker 1: got on her eyelash like damn, this was good boy,
Speaker 1: good Yeah, I got woman. I got woman right. You
Speaker 1: know you have had some good loving, good ass love
Speaker 1: it when you wake up and both of y'all is
Speaker 1: at the bottom of the bed like how to help?
Speaker 1: What is it? I know you got one? Anybody got
Speaker 1: one German and bring it, bring it, bring it you.
Speaker 1: When you know you had some good loving, when you're
Speaker 1: not all her medicals, medications off the night stands, all
Speaker 1: the bills is everywhere. We don't know which one to take.
Speaker 1: I love it. I love it, Tim, But you got
Speaker 1: you know, you know when you have some good loving
Speaker 1: and you just look at her and say, what your mama? What? What? Generation?
Speaker 1: I love it? You know you know you didn't have
Speaker 1: some good loving when you wake up the next morning
Speaker 1: and call into work and you your job ain't been
Speaker 1: open Sinster thirteen, I ain't gonna make it today. I
Speaker 1: love it. You know, you know you have had some
Speaker 1: good loving when you wake up and there's a hot
Speaker 1: blue gun in your hand and it's still on, like
Speaker 1: what day? Hell? Why blewing? You know you had some
Speaker 1: good sex when you kick over a candle in the
Speaker 1: middle of sex and y'all turn into firefighter. Alright, alright, alright.
Speaker 1: You know you had some good loving when you in
Speaker 1: the middle of it and look hooey in her eyes
Speaker 1: and said, you know what, I'm gonna buy you some money.
Speaker 1: I's got a god, I'm an buy you some money,
Speaker 1: ain't me. You know you didn't have some good loving
Speaker 1: when both of y'all jump up and start washing your
Speaker 1: hands and it ain't got nothing to do with corona.
Speaker 1: I got one more. I got one more, and then
Speaker 1: you close that one more. You know you have had
Speaker 1: some good loving when you wake up and there's a
Speaker 1: happy face on your ass. You cannot loads it up,
Speaker 1: Steve loads it out, man. We know you didn't have
Speaker 1: some good loving when the family is down there having
Speaker 1: breakfast doing quarantine and you and your wife looking at
Speaker 1: the kids and go, what y'all looking at us for?
Speaker 1: We're hooking that off? Grown folks? All right, coming up back,
Speaker 1: David over here, close the dope right after this, you're listening.
Speaker 1: How many friends do you guys have? I'm not talking
Speaker 1: about social media friends. I'm talking about real friends. Now.
Speaker 1: According to a new survey, the average American has about
Speaker 1: sixteen friends. Of these sixteen friends, what yeah, yeah, they
Speaker 1: didn't got no damn sixteen Steve, this is, according to
Speaker 1: a new survey, sixteen yeah, yeah, and they say of
Speaker 1: these they say, Of these sixteen friends, three were described
Speaker 1: as friends for life, five were people they really liked
Speaker 1: and would hang out with one on one, and the
Speaker 1: other eight were people the respondent said they liked but
Speaker 1: would not spend time with them one on one. The
Speaker 1: survey also found that the average American adult has made
Speaker 1: a new friend hasn't made a new friend in five years. Because, Steve,
Speaker 1: I gotta ask you. It begs the question, how many
Speaker 1: friends real friends do you have? Sixteen or less? Probably
Speaker 1: got five? Five? You can con them on one hand?
Speaker 1: True friends. Yeah, I'm talking about ride or dad, don't
Speaker 1: give a damn less go top five Yeah, I'm talking
Speaker 1: about well with it five maybe or to make new
Speaker 1: friends at this and I ain't made a friend in
Speaker 1: five years? How well at work? At work? Steve, that's
Speaker 1: where you are all the time. Friends you got Tommy,
Speaker 1: I always say three. All right, we'll be back. We'll
Speaker 1: pick this conversation up when when we come back at
Speaker 1: thirty three after the hour you're listening to show. All right, Steve,
Speaker 1: we were talking about how many friends do we have.
Speaker 1: There's a new survey and it says that the average
Speaker 1: American has about sixteen friends. Of those sixteen, it's impossible. Well, well,
Speaker 1: this is how they break it down. Three were described
Speaker 1: as friends for life, three you have for life. Five
Speaker 1: were people you really liked and you would hang out
Speaker 1: with one on one, and then the other eight were
Speaker 1: people the respondent said they liked, but they wouldn't spend
Speaker 1: time with them one on one. And then that's not
Speaker 1: your friend. Yeah, that's you wouldn't consider that. People you
Speaker 1: really like don't necessarily mean that your friends. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: true as well. Yeah, and then they say the average
Speaker 1: American adult hasn't made a new friend in five years.
Speaker 1: I know that, And you know why you don't have
Speaker 1: time to learn nobody else then learn you. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a trust factor. Yeah, when you say something that's right,
Speaker 1: I can't believe a little bit yeah, you get quiet.
Speaker 1: I noticed you get quiet. But it was right, he
Speaker 1: was he was some point, Yeah, it was. You ain't
Speaker 1: got to have to learn nobody. But it sounds like
Speaker 1: with us, this group right here, we don't use that
Speaker 1: term loosely when I call you a friend. Yeah, come on, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I can count on you no matter what. Yeah. That's
Speaker 1: the five of them dudes in my world. I'm sixty
Speaker 1: two years old. And it's about loyalty too. It's about
Speaker 1: and and and my good ones didn't die. Yeah that's
Speaker 1: what's cold. But you know, look, I know, like my
Speaker 1: friends for life, Butcher Ricardo, So you know, you look
Speaker 1: at Butcher Ricardo. I've been friends with Manny since I
Speaker 1: was four. My best friend from from college is marvel
Speaker 1: Is Marvin Horton. We steal boys, do ride or die.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about Biggie Wig and Blue. I'm talking about
Speaker 1: man dudes that walk off the edge for you. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: Biggie Wig and Blue Prue. Yeah they walk off the
Speaker 1: edge for you. Man. Yeah, that ain't no lie. Ricky
Speaker 1: Lewis could ask brother to man. But I got dude
Speaker 1: friend that I called like like Steve Perry, Doctor Perry.
Speaker 1: Oh this is my dude. Man, he could he climb
Speaker 1: down in the hold with Yeah, what do you call it? Group?
Speaker 1: That's after friends? But they still cool with you, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. But you're not in that top,
Speaker 1: you're not in that five. Well maybe it's levels of friends. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I still be friends, right, I think that.
Speaker 1: I think that, And that's what they were saying. Uh,
Speaker 1: some people are with you ride or die, and then
Speaker 1: others are I know, spend time with them one on one.
Speaker 1: You know, Yeah, I think they're different levels of friendship
Speaker 1: because I mean, you know, I call them like New
Speaker 1: York like short for New York a n y K.
Speaker 1: That's what I call. Just put them in the n
Speaker 1: y K group like New York. I know what he's saying,
Speaker 1: n y K York. Um. All right, Well we'll be
Speaker 1: back with more of the Harvey Morning Show, I know,
Speaker 1: coming up at forty nine after some closing remarks coming
Speaker 1: up as well right after this you're listening show, all right, Steve,
Speaker 1: last break of the day, Please leave us with some
Speaker 1: closing remarks like only you can. This is to help
Speaker 1: you make ready for your blessings. Now, what I'm gonna
Speaker 1: give you is gonna be hard for most people to do.
Speaker 1: I already know that it was difficult for me to do.
Speaker 1: But a very very wealthy person taught this to me.
Speaker 1: I didn't think much of it until I did it,
Speaker 1: and boil, boil, boy, did it help make room for
Speaker 1: what God had for me? Not only that, it freed
Speaker 1: me up. And I'll tell you what this very very
Speaker 1: successful people person told me. If I told you his name,
Speaker 1: you probably wouldn't know him. He's not famous. He's just
Speaker 1: extremely wealthy. And when I tell you extremely wealthy, I
Speaker 1: mean it. But if I said his name, you wouldn't
Speaker 1: even notice. Guy. If I showed you a picture of him,
Speaker 1: that person wouldn't even know who he was. But he
Speaker 1: taught this to me. He said, in your journey, if
Speaker 1: you want to really clear the slate, get a fresh start,
Speaker 1: and prepare yourself to receive what all God has for you,
Speaker 1: you have to take inventory of the people in your life.
Speaker 1: And when you take this inventory, you are going to
Speaker 1: have to act as though you are a gardener. You
Speaker 1: are a gardener with a grove, and your grove is
Speaker 1: your life. The things you want to bear fruit from God,
Speaker 1: your trees. You want apples, this season. You want lemons,
Speaker 1: you want grapefruits, you want peaches, you want pass plums.
Speaker 1: You've got to take care of your orchard in order
Speaker 1: to take care of your archard. I notice you've all
Speaker 1: noticed that from time to time you see the gardeners
Speaker 1: outside pruning trees. They cutting them back, They're clipping dead
Speaker 1: ends off. You know why because that maximizes the growth
Speaker 1: of the good and the tree. If you take the dead,
Speaker 1: unnecessary branches off, the withering ends, it allows for the
Speaker 1: tree to bad more fruit. So, Steve, how do you
Speaker 1: take inventory of people? This is what he taught me.
Speaker 1: He said, you have three kinds of people in your life.
Speaker 1: He said, you have people who approach you with nothing
Speaker 1: but bad news. All of us know them. Everybody has
Speaker 1: somebody that walks up to them and every time they
Speaker 1: start talking something wrong, or every time they give you
Speaker 1: a phone call, they bring you bad news. And the
Speaker 1: bad news don't just be about them. They bring you
Speaker 1: bad news about you. Did you hear that though they
Speaker 1: were saying about you down here and you just go mad.
Speaker 1: Have you ever had a person that every time they
Speaker 1: came up to you, you just felt dark because they
Speaker 1: just bought bad news. Those people that you have in
Speaker 1: your life if you don't need them. I want you
Speaker 1: to put go through your phone contacts and everybody that
Speaker 1: is no good, that never moves your life forward, doesn't
Speaker 1: give you any helpful advice, doesn't help you aid you
Speaker 1: in any way, has nothing but bad news and want
Speaker 1: something for you. One side of friendships. I want you
Speaker 1: to put a dot next to that contact name, a
Speaker 1: black dot. The next person you have in your life
Speaker 1: are called sometimy people. They the fifty fifties in your life.
Speaker 1: They cool over here as long as you're doing this,
Speaker 1: but they're not cool over here. You can take them here,
Speaker 1: but you can't take them there. You can discuss this,
Speaker 1: but you can't bring up that. You can lead them
Speaker 1: that way, but you can't show them the other way.
Speaker 1: Sometimes they cool with you about stuff, sometimes they ain't.
Speaker 1: Those are called sometimy people or what we're gonna call
Speaker 1: fifty fifty people. Everybody got them in their life. When
Speaker 1: you have a fifty fifty person, what I want you
Speaker 1: to do is put an asterid by their name that contact.
Speaker 1: Put an asterid. Remember all the bad news people that's
Speaker 1: always bringing you bad news in darkness A black dot
Speaker 1: next to their name. The next person is the fifty
Speaker 1: fifty person. They sometime they're cool, here they ain't cool
Speaker 1: that put an asterid by their name. The last person
Speaker 1: that you know are people who are very supportive of you,
Speaker 1: people who are willing to pray for you. People who
Speaker 1: always try to be uplifting, people who when they got
Speaker 1: news for you, they try to make it of the
Speaker 1: positive nature. A person who comes to your aid and
Speaker 1: your rescue. A person that picks up the phone just
Speaker 1: to see how you're doing, and you bet not mention
Speaker 1: that something's wrong, because here they come. It's people in
Speaker 1: your life, man, that you don't even have to talk
Speaker 1: when you're around them. You could just sit and be stealing, y'all,
Speaker 1: just cool like that. Everybody got that ride or die that.
Speaker 1: I don't care what you tell them. They don't pass judgment.
Speaker 1: They just your friends. Well, when you have that person,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna be real honest with you, it ain't
Speaker 1: a whole lot of them. I want you to put
Speaker 1: a check by their name. So you got a black
Speaker 1: dot next to the dark. People who bring you none
Speaker 1: but bad news, negativity, something wrong. Every time you got
Speaker 1: an asterick by the name of the people who are fifty, fifty,
Speaker 1: sometimey people and you got a check by the people
Speaker 1: that's always supportive prayer for bringing you good news. Now
Speaker 1: here's what you do. I want you to take everybody
Speaker 1: with a black dot next to their name, and everybody
Speaker 1: with an asterisk next to their name, and I want
Speaker 1: you to block them as your contact, block them out
Speaker 1: your phone, and block them from your email. If they family,
Speaker 1: block them from your phone and block them from email.
Speaker 1: All I want you to have is people who have
Speaker 1: your phone number that have a check by your name.
Speaker 1: You're gonna lose a lot of people, but guess what,
Speaker 1: you're gonna gain a lot of ground. You don't have
Speaker 1: no idea how much time you waste with people in
Speaker 1: your life who are fifty to fifty and always got
Speaker 1: bad news. If you eliminate them, you've cleaned house, your
Speaker 1: inventories cleaned. You now have cleared room to receive the
Speaker 1: blessings God have for you in this year. I dare
Speaker 1: you to try it. It works, it sounds cool, it
Speaker 1: sounds like it's hurtful, but man, if you want to win,
Speaker 1: you gotta do it. Those are my closing email. Drop
Speaker 1: it back old unless otherwise stated. For complete contest rules,
Speaker 1: visit Steve Harvey FM dot com. You're listening to s