Menace to Sobriety

Browsing Wayfair is worse than getting dragged around IKEA by the missus when you’re battling a brutal hangover. I ain’t looking through 4,642 bedside lamps, and why you charging ten grand for a flatpack wardrobe that’ll probably turn out wonkier than me after an all-dayer? Conspiracy theorists have been coming across some dodgy, overpriced listings on there and arriving at the only logical conclusion: Wayfair is a front for child trafficking. Apparently it goes all the way to the top.....

As you may know, I consider myself something of an expert in moisture, but the conspiracy theory we’re bantering about this week is next level. Some people believe a mudflood swallowed up a whole civilization a few hundred years ago, and we’ve just moved into their gaffs. Apparently they had free leccy like that Elon Musk geezer or whatever, and the evidence is all around us. Jamie’s lost it. I’m calling boll*cks on this one, straight up.

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