The Only Child Diaries Podcast

Last week brought an unexpected and heavy-hearted farewell as my husband and I grappled with the sudden loss of our horse Dallas, a beloved family member for nearly 23 years. Stripped of the usual fanfare, this episode is an intimate recollection of the emotional journey from the urgent call that something was amiss, to the heart-wrenching decision we faced in the final moments of Dallas's life...

As I navigate the beginning of my life - our lives - without our beloved horse Dallas, I share a couple of the heart wrenching experiences from this  past week.  There is solace I suppose in rituals that ease the burden of grief, or at least help you navigate the world. His stall at the barn is now a tribute to him, with  flowers and heartfelt notes, each message a testament to the love Dallas inspired. Then there are his ashes, that are finally back with us at home...

This week I'm giving an update on how I'm managing and navigating my grief over losing Dallas, my horse.  It's been another rough week.  Not that the grief isn't hard enough, but our cat Bubbie needed to be rushed to the emergency vet.  This would be hard enough emotionally but I didn't realize how much of a trigger it would be for me.  Waiting to talk to the vet I just lost it...

As I reach the four week mark after the loss of Dallas, I find myself in denial.  Denial over his passing.  And denial that the grief doesn't exist I guess.  It's been hard to process continually and yet I know somehow I must process it, as painful as it is.   

I open up about the time in 2007 when Dallas fell ill, sharing the story of our struggle and my profound gratitude that arose from those challenging days...

The journey through grief is as unique as the bonds we form, and this episode is a candid exploration of my own path, marked by both sorrow and unexpected moments of joy. Reflecting on author and philosopher Judith Butler's insights, I delve into the profound disorientation that comes with the loss of someone integral to our identity...

Navigating the ebb and flow of grief is a journey few can walk alone. As I recount the ongoing process of healing after the loss of my beloved Dallas, I share not just the sadness but also the strength found in the weeks thereafter. This episode is an intimate reflection on personal loss, the struggle with pet care, and the unexpected challenges life throws our way...

This week I'm continuing my journey through the loss of Dallas, my cherished horse. Here we are, seven weeks later, unraveling the layers of grief that have enveloped my days. I explore the surreal void left by Dallas's absence, the haunting quiet of routines we once shared, and the tangled emotions that come with giving away some of the leftover horse supplies I still have.  I was also just surprised that I became such a mess.  When I say mess, I mean MESS...

As the sun sets on another day, I find myself walking the familiar path of reflection and remembrance, a journey many of us know all too well. This week's episode is a heartfelt exploration of the persistent echoes of loss, marking the 8th week without Dallas and how a blend of work and family has become a beacon of light in darker times. I also pay homage to Gina, my dearest friend of 32 years, on what would have been her 65th birthday...