We Hate Movies

On this week’s episode, the guys are chatting about the obnoxious Kid Power triumph, 3 Ninjas! Is there an unrated version of this movie that’s more violent? Like where Tum-Tum gives a guy a Colombian Neck Tie or something? How terrible is the score to this film? And is this grandfather trying to raise an army of little domestic terrorists? PLUS: Couldn’t we get a Snyder/Grandpa in-the-early-days movie? 

3 Ninjas stars Michael Treanor, Max Elliot Slade, Chad Power, Rand Kingsley,...

On this month’s Patron-requested We ❤️ Movies, the guys are chatting about John Huston’s Rudyard Kipling adaptation, The Man Who Would Be King! How wild is Michael Caine’s makeup for the bookends of this film? Has Connery’s butt ever looked better on screen? And wow, what a WILD—for the sake of the widow's son! This episode is for subscribers only...

This week on the program, the first WHM episode of Listener Request Month peels out as the guys talk about the Sylvester Stallone car racing dud, Driven! Why can’t this movie decide on a villain? How terrible are all the CGI sewer covers? Why are those announcers getting so horned up over the car crashes? And guard your ears, this movie has one of the worst soundtracks of all time! PLUS: Does God watch The Eric Szyszka Show?

Driven stars Sylvester Stallone, Kip Pardue, Stacy Edwards,...

This week on the show, Listener Request Month continues as the guys do their best to hide all emotion while discussing the completely dreadful sci-fi romp, Equilibrium! How did they botch that book size bit? Why were pillows outlawed in this society? And how much of a disgusting shit boy (DSB) is this little son? PLUS: Freddy Krueger returns after the citizens of Libria finally stop taking their dream suppressants—and he’s underwhelmed at the quality of dead...

On this week’s episode, Listener Request Month forces the gang to watch the total action gem, Hard Rain! Why didn’t Ed Asner bring Christian Slater in on the scam? How great were the leg workouts these actors got filming in all this water? Why does Minnie Driver’s character care so much about those church windows? And how much does Morgan Freeman despise test screenings? PLUS: All hail the new CEO of Paramount Pictures… Richard from Nebraska!

Hard Rain stars Christian...

On the devilish 666th episode of the show, the guys are wrapping up Listener Request Month chatting about the absolutely horrendous witchcraft-centric teen action movie, The Covenant! How did they not have a single scene of this paranormal high school movie set in the school's lunch room? What are the parameters of these guys’ witch powers? What is with this energy suck idea? And how awful is that Harry Potter joke? PLUS: Tune in to these incredible new TLC reality shows,...

On this week’s episode, the guys kick off APE-RIL with a chat about the outrageous kid-friendly monkey movie, Dunston Checks In! How come nobody goes outside in this film? Are these kids eating room service steak every night? How incredible are Paul Reubens and Glenn Shadix in this movie? How does that dog survive the fall off the hotel's roof? And why did they bother with this useless older brother character? Yikes...

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On this week’s episode, APE-ril continues with a chat about George A...

On this week’s APE-ril episode, the guys check back in with Philo, Orville and Clyde in the cigarette and bad beer-filled sequel, Any Which Way You Can! How are these fellas bareknuckle boxing in those tight slacks? How great was it back in the day when Truckers outranked Police in this country? And boy, oh boy, will this movie remind you to always check the car seat cushion before you sit down! PLUS: Behold! One of the wildest, most disgusting sex scenes in cinema history!

Any Which...