Can't Get Enough of Keanu

Hello boils and ghouls, we have a nice long (they're all long tbh) Halloween spooktacular for y'all: Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)! We have a Halloween soundboard and everything! This needs very little introduction; it's the classic Dracula story with the major addition of a romance between the titular count (Gary Oldman) and Mina Harker (Winona Ryder), maybe involving reincarnation (?)...

The Bard doth speak in the immoderate winds of galvanic plenitude most loquacious by familiar visages and....it's our episode on Much Ado About Nothing by Billy Shakes...

We have a very special objet d'art here with 1993's "Freaked." Directed by none other than Bill S. Preston Esq. (Alex Winter) himself, who also stars and helped write the film! Winter plays celebrity simpleton Ricky Coogin who is hired by the Everything Except Shoes corporation to put a pretty face on a bad PR problem: claims they're fertilizer Zygrot 24 is wildly toxic. Hilarity ensues. This cult classic was basically strangled in it's crib for claims of being too weird...

Hey now! Keanu's second collab with the talented Mr...

This week it's Little Buddha (1993), by Bernardo Bertolucci. Every now and then you run into these films by critically lauded directors tackling some large philosophical/theological/metaphysical theme and it just ends up....hollow. That's this! And it's for kids supposedly. Tibetan monks go to Seattle in search of the reincarnation of their old Buddhist teacher lama Dorje, seeing him in the person of Jesse Konrad, a little blond bowlcutted(?) boy. His parents are passive nothings...

Reeves, Hopper, Bullock, Daniels, Morton, Jan de Bont at the mf helm, winner of 1995's Academy Award for best sound editing/mixing: it's SPEED (1994)! This is a big one for our boy, setting him up as a bona fide action star as LAPD SWAT member Jack Traven (more like Jacked Traven right?!). Hopper plays Howard Payne, disgruntled ex bomb squad who honestly just wants his damn pension, even if it entails elaborate extortion games with explosive-rigged speedometers...

William Gibson, largely considered the first cyberpunk author you read as a teenager according to an objective study, adapts his own short story with 1995's JOHNNY MNEMONIC, directed by Robert Longo! Our dude plays the titular Johnny, a data courier in a corporate dystopia where we are at once inundated with data to the point of illness, and denied anything not approved by aforementioned corporations...

This week: now that Keanu is a full-fledged leading man, it’s time to star in a sweeping, romantic period piece. He teams up with Alfonso Arau, hot off the success of Like Water for Chocolate, to make A Walk in the Clouds, in which our dude plays the nicest soldier in the world, who returns from World War II and finds new meaning in life by hanging out with a Mexican family who owns a vineyard. All this plus classic stories about Jake and Matt’s dad!

Merry Christmas! This week we’re jumping back to the beginning of Keanu’s career to discuss the made-for-TV film Babes in Toyland, in which our dude co-stars with a young Drew Barrymore. Together they sing songs about the great city of Cincinnati, travel to a magical land of toys, and get framed for the crime of grand cookie larceny. It’s a short episode because time is tight around the holidays, but the boys are drinking Corona Light so you know it’s a good time!

We break our deafening silence with "Chain Reaction" (1996) by Andrew Davis. Eddie Kasalivich (Keanu) is an idealistic young scientist who finds a source of unlimited hydrogen energy by playing music to water or something. Unfortunately Eddie and his team are secretly funded by the deep state and it's chosen representative,  the coldly pragmatic Paul Shannon (Morgan Freeman), who wants this revolutionary tech for himself and those he works for...