Sex, Love, and Addiction

Dr. Ken M. Adams began his professional career in 1981 treating children, adolescents, and their families. In 1985 he began private practice with the Children of Alcoholic Parents program, an outpatient program for the treatment of adults who had grown up in alcoholic families. He is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), a CSAT supervisor, and CSAT training facilitator as well as an EMDR practitioner. In this episode, Dr. Ken gives an overview on what an enmeshment relationship looks like, his latest book catered specifically for adult children of sex addicts, and talks about how to recover from a broken home. 

TAKEAWAYS:

[2:00] A little bit about Dr. Ken.

[4:25] What happens to children that allow them to struggle later on in life? 

[7:20] What’s so wrong with having a good relationship with your parents? 

[9:15] Empathic children deeply worry about their parents and often, enmeshment happens because the parent did not set proper or clear boundaries. 

[16:10] Dr. Ken is out with a new book, A Light in the Dark. Why did he decide to write it? 

[22:10] All the children surveyed said they were negatively impacted by what their sex addict parent did. 

[25:55] Adult children are often confused about what’s a normal sexual experience. 

[30:35] Children aren’t stupid. They know what’s going on and often get put in a bad position where they have to protect their mother or father’s anger towards the sex addict. 

[33:40] How should a sex addict tell their children about their problems? 

[37:25] The shame that these adult children carry, it is not their shame to carry. 

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101 

Seeking Integrity

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men 

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency

Out of the Doghouse by Robert Weiss

Sexualhealth-addiction.com

When He’s Married to Mom by Dr. Ken M. Adams

A Light in the Dark: The Hidden Legacy of Adult Children of Sex Addicts by Ken M. Adams

QUOTES:

• “The romantic partner always becomes second tier to the enmeshed man or woman’s parents.”

• “It’s always the parent’s job that they stay in charge of what is a normal love affair between parent and child.”

• “Your children are not your children. They’re life’s longing for itself. They come through you, but not from you.”

• “88% of children were aware or witnessed their parent’s sexually addicted behavior.”