If Books Could Kill

The airport bestsellers that captured our hearts and ruined our minds

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The Rules


In 1995 a bestselling book proposed a simple dating strategy for women: Lose weight, wear bright colors and become a completely different person for the rest of your life.

Thanks to Moira Donegan for helping us with this episode!

Support us on Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/IfBooksPod

Where to find us: 

  • Twitter
  • Peter's other podcast, 5-4
  • Mike's other podcast, Maintenance Phase

Sources:

  • From Front Porch to Back Seat: Courtship in Twentieth-Century America 
  • Taffy Brodesser-Akner’s essay, “Stuff Your ‘Rules’” 
  • The More Things Change: The Rules And Late Eighteenth‐Century Conduct Books For Women 
  • Shrinking Violets and Caspar Milquetoasts: Shyness and Heterosexuality from the Roles of the Fifties to "The Rules" of the Nineties 
  • From Mountain Peak to Total Woman: An Evolutionary History of Pre-feminist Dating Advice 
  • The Mating Game: How Gender Still Shapes How We Date by Ellen Lamont 
  • So Many Rules, So Little Time 
  • Abiding by The Rules: Instructing Women in Relationships 
  • What leads to romantic attraction: similarity, reciprocity, security, or beauty? Evidence from a speed-dating study 
  • "Playing Hard To Get": Understanding An Elusive Phenomenon 
  • Egalitarian Daters, Traditionalist Dates 
  • Aspirational pursuit of mates in online dating markets 
  • Disintermediating your friends: How online dating in the United States displaces other ways of meeting 
  • Playing Hard To Get 

 Thanks to Mindseye for our theme song!


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 June 29, 2023  1h9m