Hello, I am a marital therapist, communications trainer and author. I have thirty-five years helping couples and individuals make better relationships. I have written twenty-plus self-help books which include the international best-sellers ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and ‘How can I ever trust you again?’ My books have been translated into twenty languages. I trained with RELATE the UK’s largest counselling charity. Perhaps it has been turning sixty but I have become interested in spiritual as well as psychological questions. Who am I? What are my values – as opposed to my parents, my teachers and the wider society? What makes my life meaningful? What do I believe about life, the universe and everything? Although my clients might come to me because of destructive arguments, falling out of love and infidelity, they are also interested in having more meaningful relationships and a more meaningful life. So what is the meaningful life? Why do we so easily lose our way and get lost in depression, anxiety, doubt, addictions and obsessions: the swamplands of the soul? One thing I know for sure is that there is not one answer...
https://andrewgmarshall.com/podcasts/
episode 144: Dr Sam Carr: The Silent Epidemic: Loneliness
We’re often told we’re in the midst of a post-Covid “loneliness epidemic”, but what exactly does that mean? Loneliness is a profound condition that goes right to the heart of being human - it’s certainly more than just being alone, and often it isn’t something that can be addressed by just “getting out more” or volunteering at the local hospital.
This week’s guest Dr Sam Carr became interested in attachment theory, and was then drawn to seek a deeper understanding of people who lacked attachment. He embarked on a study of loneliness that will be shared in his forthcoming book, All the Lonely People.
Andrew and Sam discuss types of loneliness - existential, the loneliness of a difficult relationship, objective vs subjective loneliness - and look at different ways to address it, including the Jungian path of finding solace and direction in our dreams.
If You’re Looking for More….
You can subscribe to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts) and hear a bonus mini-episode every week. Or you can join our Supporters Club on Patreon to also access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
This week supporters will hear:
⭐️How internet porn affects romantic life
⭐️Three things Sam Carr knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Sam Carr’s book All the Lonely People can be preordered here.
Read some of Sam Carr’s articles for theconversation.com:
Loneliness, loss and regret: what getting old really feels like – new study
Parenting practices around the world are diverse and not all about attachment
How internet porn affects romantic life
Why mourning a pet can be harder than grieving for a person
Are you a shark or a teddy? How understanding conflict styles can help you overcome fights with friends and family
Andrew and Sam discuss The Men on My Couch by Brandy Engler. You can find it here.
Andrew also mentions other episodes of this podcast, including How to be Resilient with James Hollis and Being a Mother with Lisa Marchiano.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall