2 Guys And A Chainsaw

Our tribute to Treat Williams is the first-ever buddy cop action zombie comedy horror we’ve done on the podcast. Will it be the last? Surely, none of the others could compare to this insanely fun romp that took us all the way back to the hyper-masculine, ultra-violent 80’s action flicks we grew up with.

Expand to read episode transcript Automatic Transcript

Dead Heat (1988)

Todd: Hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd.

Craig: And I’m Craig.

Todd: Here we are catching up, I think, on our tribute episodes. Last week we did Warlock, which was our tribute to Julian Sands. Also, last month, back in June actually, Treat Williams, veteran star of stage, screen, and movies and TV.

Died in a motorcycle accident at the age of 71. And this movie was one that’s been on my list for a while. Here on the podcast, we like to do horror comedies, we like to do horror kids movies. Not just the dirty, gory, scary stuff. This movie, you know, every now and then a movie comes along that you just, that just entirely went by you and escaped you, and you’re like, you watch it, and you’re like, where has this movie been my whole life?

Like, this movie came out in 1988. It’s called Dead Heat, and it will go down as the first ever buddy cop action zombie horror comedy that we’ve done on the show. Mm hmm. Um, and it stars Treat Williams. in the prime of his youth, and Joe Piscopo. I don’t know, Craig, I had never seen this before. I was vaguely aware of it, more in adulthood than anything else, and it’s always been like a little checklist thing, like, oh, you know what, I’m gonna come back to that.

Looks like it could be entertaining, but why did I not grow up with this movie, was my big question. And so I thought, oh, this must have been like some obscure little thing, you know, kind of low budget thing that completely belly flopped in the box office. I don’t know. I’m not going to say anymore about it until I hear your opinion.

Craig: You liked it. 

Todd: Yeah,

I liked it. Of I was gritting from ear to ear with this movie. And, uh, and yeah, anyway. So, so, this is our tribute to Treat Williams. Craig, uh, had you seen this movie 

Craig: before? No, uh, but you’re right. I don’t know why. There’s no good reason why I There’s no good reason! I rem I vividly remember seeing it on the video store shelves, and it’s a really it’s a funny picture of the two guys, uh, Treat Williams and Joe Piscopo, like, kinda looking back over their shoulders at ya, and I think That I didn’t pick it up because Joe Piscopo looks so stupid and I I thought God this movie must be so Stupid if this is the guy that they’re putting on the cover 

Todd: Let’s come back to Treat Williams in a second.

I just want to talk about Joe Piscopo. What happened to that guy? I don’t even like Who? 

Craig: Why do I, why does Joe Piscopo live in my head? Why do I know who this man is? I know. Well, 

Todd: I don’t know if you, uh, we, I think one of my cousins or somebody taped one of his TV specials, like the Joe Piscopo TV special off and it was in regular rotation for us.

We thought it was hilarious. That was back in 87 or 86 or whatever. But he was on Saturday Night Live in 1980. And I think that year, they got rid of everyone on the cast except for him and 

Craig: Eddie Murphy. Well, they got rid of, they were totally doing a whole new cast, and he and Eddie Murphy were a part of the new cast, and the following season, they were the only two that they kept.

That 

Todd: survived, right. They were the only two who could cut it, that’s right. I mean, he was on Saturday Night Live for quite a while, he had these comedy specials, at least two, like one of those HBO comedy specials, back when we didn’t have HBO, and it was a treat to be able to see an HBO comedy special, it ended up on VHS, and I just remember, like, Joe Piscopo, Joe Piscopo, kind of this rap intro, and this guy comes out, he’s this comedian, he’s kind of got a bodybuilder face, builder physique and whatnot and then like he just kind of disappeared i know that he had um thyroid cancer for a while but that was before this movie yeah and he 

Craig: just was it i don’t know yeah he took a break yeah i don’t know either i feel like i had it in my mind that he did Infomercials, but I don’t think that that’s a real thing.

I think that’s something that I just created in my head. I’m not sure. I don’t know. Maybe I think he did commercials. I think he did beer commercials in the eighties or nineties. I don’t know that what, when it comes down to it, like he’s this goofy looking like New Jersey bodybuilder, Jerry curl looking kind of guy, but exactly, but.

He’s endearing. He’s like, he’s, he’s a, he’s a fun guy. 

Todd: I mean, I mean, he cut his teeth at Saturday Night Live and proved himself there. I mean, he’s funny, you know, uh, this movie is different story, but I’m sorry. I’m actually going to be kind of gushing about this movie, even though I knew you would like 

Craig: it.

I knew you would like it. Of course. This I, uh, look, here’s the thing. Like, you didn’t? Uh, not really. Like, looking back on it now, like, thinking about it, getting ready to talk about it, I’m like, it’s fine. Like, it’s cute. I get what it’s going for. I, uh, I didn’t really enjoy it very much. And I was wracking my brain.

Because I was like, why? Why don’t, why don’t I like this? Yeah. This, this. Is a straight dude movie. That’s, I, I think that’s what it is. Like, I think straight dudes would be really into this movie. Cause it’s totally like a, uh, like a, Hey, uh, I’m a straight guy. Kind of.

Todd: Wow, way to paint me with a straight guy brush. 

Craig: I, I told, like, this was a revelation to me. And I, I said that same thing out loud last night. night to Alan, he’s like, is that how straight guys sound? And I was like, well, to me,

Todd: well, I think the thing that I love about it so much is eighties action movies. They just have a certain feel and they had a certain sensibility and mentality about them. And that might be a little bit of what you’re talking about, right? It’s just like Testosterone on display. Yeah, totally. As I was watching this, I realized, like, we don’t make action movies like this anymore.

Craig: Not really. Well, like Bad Boys. 

Todd: That’s an old movie now, dude. But 

Craig: yeah, I mean, uh, aren’t they still making them like there’s one in production right now, . There’s like 

Todd: four of ’em. Yeah. I thought there were only two. No, there’s, well, goes to show how much I could , but like this movie Joe Piscopo, I, I watched like a Making of Quit a short little Making of Doc that was up on YouTube and you know, they were, did some behind the scenes stuff and Joe Piscopo was being interviewed and he said this is a cross between Robocop.

Lethal Weapon and Night of the Living Dead. It’s got all three elements in there. And I was like, Yeah, RoboCop and Lethal Weapon, absolutely quintessential 80s action movies in every sense of the word. Totally. The writer of this movie is Terry Black, who is the brother of Shane Black. And Shane Black wrote Lethal Weapon.

And Lethal Weapon came out just the year before this. So it’s right there in that sweet spot. And what it’s doing is it’s taking that and it’s It’s taking it to a crazy degree, and it’s being over the top goofy with it. There are some scenes in here I can’t wait to talk about, because how just silly they are.

But, the movie knows it’s silly, you know? It’s a comedy that’s also trying to be over the top goofy, and in that, it succeeds. The jokes, they don’t always land. The partnership between Joe Piscopo and Treat Williams, sadly, it has no heart. I think. 

Craig: Oh, I thought they were hilarious together. They were 

Todd: funny together, but there are no, like, emotional moments in this.

Where it’s cause they’re straight! 

Craig: There’s no tension! They’re just a couple of straight guys!

Todd: You know what, Craig? Straight guys have feelings too! They do? What?! 

Craig: My worldview is shattered! 

Todd: But, I didn’t cry at all during this movie. But, you know, Lethal Weapon, come on. Like, the Danny Glover and Mel Gibson characters in that movie. There’s, you know, there’s just like… I get it. Yeah, and I like those.

This movie has none of it. 

Craig: No, I don’t think so. I don’t think that’s true at all. I think they’re funny. I think they’re funny. 

Todd: I didn’t say they’re not funny. I, 

Craig: I thought they, like, the whole thing is so silly that you can’t really say there’s like a straight man. But, but if there is, it’s Street Williams.

Street Williams is like the straight man. And then, like, he’s like the, you know, the very polished, good looking, well dressed. hair that I would, like, shoot a person in the face for. Holy 

Todd: crap! His hair! During that scene where, especially that scene where he’s, like, 

Craig: turned into a zombie. Where hair. Like, there’s a whole scene where he brushes his hair for, like, a half a minute.

Todd: It was fascinating. Oh 

Craig: my god, I would shoot somebody in the face to have hair like that. It’s amazing. 

Todd: To be honest with you, as a straight man, I’ve never seen any person in a movie before and been like, God, that hair is amazing. Until this day, three hours ago, I could have watched him comb his hair for like another three minutes.

Craig: I was so jealous. 

Todd: I almost cried when it looked like it was starting to come out. I was like, 

Craig: Oh, I know, but like, it wasn’t even, like, I just kind of imagined that every time that Tree Williams brushed his hair, that much came out, just because there was, like, there’s so much of it.

Todd: He’s got another five years of brushing his hair before it’s all good. He’s 

Craig: like this, he’s like the straight laced one. And then Joe Biscopo is like, you know, like the Jersey cop. Who’s always like, he’s crackin jokes and like, hittin on the ladies 

Todd: and It’s like a parody. 

Craig: Oh my god. I, I thought their chemistry was, was kind of funny.

And, it seemed to me like they were having a good time. Like, I can only imagine behind the scenes. It seemed like they were having a really fun time making this dumb movie. Oh yeah. Let’s, let’s talk about Treat Williams real quick since this is his… Uh, tribute album. Aside from having maybe the most magnificent hair I’ve ever seen, he is just like, he’s really handsome and I think that there are some people, like, let’s just face it, being incredibly attractive is a huge advantage in life and, uh, I think that he is somebody who was kind of interested in entertainment, but more so kind of fell into it because he was incredibly good looking and then it also turned out That he’s very talented and he, he did tons of movie, like, like you said, uh, stage television movies, did tons of stuff.

Yeah, I don’t, I think he had a big TV show in the late nineties, early aughts, something like that, something like Everwood or something. Some show that I never watched, some like angsty teen drama or something that he was in. But what I remember him from was the film version of. The musical hair. Yes. Have, have you seen it?

Todd: Oh gosh. So long ago. 

Craig: It’s fantastic. And he is absolutely fantastic in it. And, uh, apart from being just a really, really good looking guy. And I say that, but it’s not just that he’s physically attractive, which he is, but he’s just also endearing. He’s got kind of a soft spoken nature and, and really kind eyes.

And he’s, he’s a very appealing person. And then, uh, in that. movie in, in hair, he acts and he sings and he has a beautiful voice. He has the voice of an angel. And so that’s, I am a huge fan of his. I was not terribly surprised to hear that he’d passed because lots of the people that I grew up watching on screen are passing because I’m getting old and so are they.

So I wasn’t terribly. surprised but I was surprised to hear that it’s not like he died it was a motorcycle accident yeah good for you bro like get out there on your motorcycle and you’re 70 

Todd: right and it was another car that turned into his lane he couldn’t move fast it’s not like he was reckless or anything or fell asleep on his motorcycle I mean that’s just really shitty it’s tragic no 

Craig: it’s tragic and I I feel for his family you know he has Um, it’s, it’s terribly sad, but, uh, a cool, cool guy and so handsome in this movie.

Like that’s, I don’t know, he’s so handsome. Um, like so handsome to the point where… Like, he dies. And then he’s like, a zombie. And he’s still handsome. And they’ll start, well, they’ll start to decay him. And then they’re like, no, no, he’s too handsome.

And then he’ll just look normal for a while. And they’re like, wait, wait, wait, he’s a zombie. Put some makeup on him. And then there’ll be a scene where he’s like, in like, this gross makeup. And they’re like, no, wait, wait, he’s too handsome. Take 

Todd: it off. They couldn’t commit to the gradual decay. They delayed the decay as long as possible.

It’s hilarious. It’s 

Craig: hilarious. The other thing that’s hilarious about this movie is the writing. This is one of the funniest written movies that I have ever seen. Like, it opens up on like a cityscape of what, are they in Los Angeles? I never could figure it out. 

Todd: I never figured it out, no. I want to say Los Angeles.

Uh, 

Craig: cityscape, and then immediately we cut to these robbers in a car, and they put on these weird masks that are made for robbers, like, because they don’t serve any other function except to like… 

Todd: They probably crafted them themselves. Oh, well. Got them from a kink shop or something like that. I can see another reason why you might want a mask like that, that leaves the whole lower part of your face exposed, but uh…

Ew. Let’s not get into that. Not you, I just said one. Straight guys. One.

Don’t kink shame me. Okay, 

Craig: no, sorry, so these robbers. Now, like, they just look like goons, which I thought was funny. But then I also thought, why are they filthy dirty? Like, their faces, I was like, what is happening? Why have they not bathed in years? Like, what is happening? 

Todd: They are super… Super violent, super over the top, they go and they’re 

Craig: yelling at each other.

Their they break into this, this jewelry store, and they’re pointing, like, They have machine guns, like Tommy 

Todd: guns. Everyone in here has an Uzi. 

Craig: It’s like we’re in, like, Dick Tracy or something. Like, they’ve got, like, these big ol Tommy guns, like, Ah, getcha! Um, but they, they break into this jewelry store, And they, like, they tell a lady to put her purse on the counter, And they’re, like, you know, demanding, The jewels or something, but one of them looks at this old lady and points his machine gun at her and says, Come on, you want to be dead?

There’s a chance of a lifetime. And then the other one tells somebody else hug the rug. Oh my god, some of the funniest lines and Joe Piscopo has some lines in here. I couldn’t believe that anybody could deliver or receive with a straight face. But, I don’t know if that was, like, like they were trying to be funny, or it’s just so bad it’s funny.

But either way, hilarious. 

Todd: I think, for me, it’s so bad it’s funny. Most of his lines were total groaners. I would say about a third of them I saw coming from a mile away. I’m like, oh. He’s gonna make a crack about this. And, in the one sense, like, they had to do this, because this is, this is what they’re doing, right?

But it’s not really a parody of this genre. It is a movie in this buddy cop action genre. And most of them are better written. Honestly, I think it has a lot to do with Piscopo’s delivery. I don’t know if he What was 

Craig: up with him? Like, first of all, he seems Just in general, like he’s on cocaine all the time.

Like he is, he is so wired all the time. And then a lot, did you notice that in a lot of scenes, he was just staring into the void? Like what the f was he looking 

Todd: at? I think he embraced this smarmy, wisecracking, aloof character so much that. It just didn’t even make sense in half of the scenes that he’s in, like there’s no other emotion.

He’s just always like, hey, uh, chuckling, smiling. Just, his character is just… In his mind, going through a Rolodex of the next wisecrack he can make, you know? He’s just waiting for, it just seems like he’s waiting for that point in the conversation, so that he can make his joke. 

Craig: I almost wondered at some points if they were reading the script off of cue cards.

Because, because Treat Williams looked like, like, like, look just left of camera. Like, sometimes. Yeah, it’s true. And him not so much, but sometimes there was one Conversation in particular where Treat Williams and one of the two women who, again, are identical to one another. Him and that woman and Joe Piscopo are all in frame together.

And Treat Williams and the woman are talking to each other. And Joe Piscopo is just staring off into the yonder. Like, what are you looking at? Like, I need the camera to move. There’s clearly something really… Fascinating happening just left of camera. Oh my god. It was so weird. Yeah. Uh, I could just like spitball about this stupid shit all the time.

If you wanna, like, okay, so, there’s this heist or whatever and the cops, not just the cops, but the entire Police force, and military, and 

Todd: FBI show up. They’re there within seconds. They’re 

Craig: there within seconds. Surrounding 

Todd: the place. Getting into place. They all have Uzis and endless ammo. It’s so great. Oh my 

Craig: god.

And then these two guys come out, and this happens then. Once it happens now, it happens for the rest of the movie. Enormously long gunfights where the bad guys are just 

Todd: standing there 

Craig: barraged with bullets like they like they just stand there and take hundreds and hundreds of bullets and like it becomes a talking point like hey why why aren’t they dead like I shot him like a million times but this happens over and over again like it’s as it turns out these guys are zombies you They’re, they’re reanimated corpses and that’s why bullets don’t hurt them and yet the main characters continue to shoot them with guns for the rest of the movie.

There is like, I can’t, I can’t even save it for like chronological purposes. There is a point at the end of the movie where Treat Williams, who is a zombie and another zombie stand 10 feet from each other. Both of them with machine guns, shooting them directly into each other for a good 30 seconds. 

Todd: That was the best part of the movie.

I was laughing so hard at that part. And he shoots him into that chamber and locks the door, tosses a grenade in. 

Craig: Just the two of them, like, no shit, ten feet from each other. Like, their guns were almost kissing. They were standing so close to each other. It was so great. And just standing there, blow, like, a barrage of machine gun fire right into one another.

Like, Treat Williams could have started brushing his hair. Like, they weren’t even… Yeah, 

Todd: but that was the joke. I mean, I 

Craig: get that it’s the joke, but that that makes the whole movie a joke. Like, why do you keep shooting these people? I know. Bullets don’t hurt them. 

Todd: God, it’s a buddy cop action movie, man. We gotta have bullets.

Like I said, they don’t make movies like this anymore. In fact, I was just, I was thinking about it. I was, I was like, like I was saying earlier. We don’t make action movies like this anymore because things are more acrobatic and stunty now, you know? Just like, like a fist fight in a James, in an old Roger Moore James Bond movie.

Craig: Guns are kind of passe, yeah. Yeah, 

Todd: you know, it just, it feels more real and brutal because it’s just a little rougher and more tumbly. I guess we just loved guns in the 80s. Oh, we did. Rambo and Predator and, uh, you know, it just became a parody of itself at some point. And this movie lays into it hard. And it’s pretty brutal as a result.

I 

Craig: mean That opening gunfight is impressive! Like, it goes on for like five minutes and cops are just getting slaughtered! 

Todd: Shot in the

I was shocked. I don’t think 80s Todd would have been as shocked, but the Todd of this era is like, Oh my God, I forgot movies used to be like this. That 

Craig: one female cop getting shot right in the face. Like, that, that surprised me. And then Treat Williams like hops in a muscle car and just like does donuts up and down the street?

With 

Todd: a shotgun? The stupidest thing he could possibly do, which was dumb. Just drive right in the middle of the gunfire. All the way through. Not a bullet hits his car. He blasts a shotgun out the door once and somehow ends up taking the one guy down. And then on his way back, like, the guy chucks a grenade, or he chucks a grenade?

I don’t know where the grenade came from. 

Craig: The guy just dropped it! Like, the bad guy, like, 

Todd: had a grenade. Oh, he got shot out of his hand, yeah. And he just, like, dropped it. Uh oh. 

Craig: And people are getting hit by cars and slammed into buildings. This was nuts. This opening scene was nuts. So great. 

Todd: Like I said, nowadays it’s like a ballet, like everything’s more…

slick and it’s more slickly shot and the stunts are more slick and half of them aren’t even real and so you know it’s it’s just a little more like it’s it’s like it’s like martial arts or something this is just brutal and in your face and it’s crazy stuff is crashing and yeah 

Craig: you should watch it listeners like yeah streaming for free on tubi just watch that first 10 minutes if nothing else it’s crazy it’s 

Todd: i love it though it it’s so 80s It is so 80s.

Craig: After they’re done, what do they do? They have to go get yelled at by their boss. 

Todd: By the black captain, right? First they get yelled at by the boss, and then they get yelled at by the black captain who lists off all the bad things they did. Unauthorized use of a city vehicle. 

Craig: Reckless endangerment of property and lives.

Use of a non regulation firearm. 

Todd: That was me, not Bigelow, sir. 

Craig: Disrespectful conduct. Flippant and tasteless verbal remarks. That was me. An 18 parking tickets so far this month. Need I point 

Todd: out that you guys are already on probation twice? And that this 

Craig: morning’s cowboy adventure puts both of you on the endangered species list?

And that your badges go into the shitter if you screw up just one 

Todd: more time. Ha ha! But, you know… I can’t deny that you actually stopped the criminals, so you got one more chance. Go catch, 

Craig: go catch that Cash and Dash gang. And that’s the other thing that this movie is, like, it jumps from one scene to the next, and they will verbally transition you into it, even though it doesn’t really make any sense.

Like, gotta go catch that Cash and Dash gang. Okay, well, let’s go to the morgue. Alright, like, okay, like, it’s just, they just keep going places, oh 

Todd: my god. That’s what gives the movie energy though, like, I was never bored, I was never once like, oh god, alright, looking at my watch, wondering when this scene was gonna end.

It just keeps moving ahead of you, and it’s so 80s, I love it, cause then they go back to their office and They’re chatting about it. What do you think’s going on with the Cash and Dash gang? I don’t know. There’ve been six robberies within a same nine block radius, and when you shoot them, they don’t die.

And then Tariq Williams goes, well, you know, there’s some drugs that can do that, like PCP. And I was like, yes, another PCP reference. We talked about this in that stupid movie with, uh, with Body by Jake. You remember when he gets high on PCP? And we’re like, where did PCP go? PCP was huge in the 80s. At least, as a kid, I was meant to think so.

I know. Watch out for that 

Craig: PCP. They’ll slip it to you anywhere they can. Oh my 

Todd: god. Indestructible. Then you are crazy. Then we get introduced to the worst actor in the entire film, sadly. Rebecca the coroner, who has had a past with Uh, Treat Williams and no 

Craig: well, that’s the thing, like, uh, Okay, so she had a past with him, which is blatantly obvious because But it doesn’t matter.

Her entire character doesn’t matter, so that’s why, like, she’s bland, she, like, she’s just she plays it dead face. Yes. Like, I think that she’s like, I’m smart scientist, so I will show no 

Todd: emotion. And there’s no chemistry between them as a result. 

Craig: In fact, aside from the fact that he is so charming, like he could have chemistry with coffee table because he is just 

Todd: so charming.

That’s what it feels like he’s doing. I mean, the coffee table, you know, from over her shoulder. It’s perfect. Like you’re like, oh, okay. Yeah, this guy’s got emotions. Got from over his shoulder. She just like. I don’t know, you know, a lot has gone on between us in the past few years, and, ugh. And 

Craig: in the background, Joe Biscopo is just back there in like, his baby tee.

Yeah, just like, wide eyed, like, Hey, what’s up, uh, I’m just uh, hanging out. Like, So. Funny, but she, she tells him that the guys were dead. So we figure out that this is like a zombie thing. 

Todd: Yeah. They’ve had autopsies before and then out of nowhere walks in Dr. McNabb and the minute he walks in from nowhere, like, Hey guys, whoa, what’s going on here?

Well, these guys can’t be dead. I’m like. He’s the bad guy. Right, he’s 

Craig: the bad guy, and also, who is he? Uhhh? Like, he’s referred to, like, who is he, he’s, uh, the actor is Darren McGavin, who is the dad from A Christmas Story, like, and will always only ever be that. For me, but right in this movie. He’s just around and they they call him.

Dr. Body, I have no idea who this man is or what he does. Yeah, I still don’t but he’s clearly the bad guy 

Todd: From the minute he walks in he is playing that role. Oh, here’s the guy We’re just gonna quickly introduce and then leave and then later on About halfway through the movie, he’ll come in and some other nonsensical scene he’ll pop up for no reason.

He’ll just 

Craig: drive by in a car and wave and be like, Hey guys, what’s up? And they’ll be like, Hey Dr. Body. And he’ll be like, Okay, gotta go, bye! Like, seriously, that 

Todd: happens. Just to remind you he’s there. 

Craig: Just to remind you he’s there. And then, for some reason, they, oh, because they found traces of some stupid drug, I don’t know, and I, like, it’s all connected, but who cares?

They end up at this place called, uh, Dante Pharmaceuticals. I am next to positive that this is an exact same set piece from Brain Dead. 

Todd: It is. It’s, yeah, it’s the same 

Craig: building. Oh my god, as soon as I saw it, I was like, GASP Uh huh. We 

Todd: just saw this place in a different movie. I a few weeks ago, yeah. It’s a very distinct building.

It was so weird. Apparently it was used in Biodome, too, with Pauly T. I read that, because 

Craig: as soon as I saw it, I’m researching. I’m, like, Googling, like, building from Braindead. Like, I couldn’t find anything. But I was just positive, because it’s the ex It, like, not all the exterior And the interior, like when I saw the exterior, I’m like, that’s where that guy got hit by a car and he had the brain in a jar and inside was where he was meeting with the crazy people.

Yeah, yeah, it’s the same same one. Not important, but blew me away. Then they walk in and at the front desk. The Dayguard Is so involved in looking at Penthouse Magazine Openly That Joe Piscopo has to say Sorry to interrupt your erection, pal, but we’d like to speak with the management of this facility That is something that really happens That’s right In this movie Yes Like Yeah Oh my god 

Todd: One of the many lovely Joe Piscopo one liners in this one.

Wow. There’s a supercut of them on YouTube if you want to check it out. Oh my god, that is hilarious. So, then, then we get introduced to a, the woman, you know, it’s the classic, uh, they notice a woman is walking towards them and The camera goes all the way up her leg. Yeah, I know. It’s so hard. It’s so difficult.

But she gives them a tour. She’s the PR person, Randy James. Also, what dates this movie, she’s talking openly about how they experiment on animals, cause they do cosmetics and things like that. And like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is the asphyxiation room. On the sad circumstance where we have to put an animal down that we’ve been experimenting on.

We just put it in this room, and press a button, and it sucks all the air out of the room in seconds, and the animal dies. And they die, 

Craig: they die peacefully, and go, Fuck you, what are you 

Todd: talking about? Peacefully? Who would have died that 

Craig: way? Slowly suffocate? No. My god, and like, not only is it like, the suffocating room, but it’s just…

Right there in the front hallway with a HUGE WINDOW So that you can just, I guess, watch the animals die a slow, painful death. 

Todd: And then right next to it, also in the front hallway, are these giant steel doors that say, Dangerous chemicals, don’t go inside. And she’s like, yeah, we can’t go in there. Yeah, we 

Craig: can’t do that.

Let me see it out. And then, Joe Piscore says, Okay, uh, but first I have to go peepee. Todd, he says that! Yeah, 

Todd: I gotta pee so bad my teeth are floating. Can you tell me where the bathroom 

Craig: is? Just have to go pee pee. Oh, 

Todd: boy. But that’s just a ruse. Uh, Doug, his name is Doug. He sneaks into the dangerous chemicals room by jamming the metal clip from his ID tag into the card reader on it, which, it shorted out the electrical, and it opens up, and there are no dangerous chemicals in here at all.

I wrote this down as the Death Star Room. It, it, yes. Mm hmm. That’s exactly what it is. It looks like a room from the Death Star. It’s got like all this crazy, it’s a It’s completely out of place. 

Craig: It’s massive. 

Todd: Industrial. Imagine if you were walking down the busy hallway, you know, just past the reception area when somebody was going into that room, don’t you think you’d be like What the f is going on in there?

Yeah, 

Craig: and like, there’s like a like, kind of like a big like, I don’t know like death ray kind of contraption like in the middle of this circular room. Kind of over a 

Todd: table 

Craig: Over a table with something Large on it covered with like a rain tarp like I what is even happening? I don’t even understand and so then he takes off the rain tarp and it is a giant Mutant biker.

I have to say that some Of the makeup effects and practical effects in this movie are really fun. I really enjoyed this big, fat biker design because his face is like it’s been stretched down the middle. 

Todd: I don’t know what that was supposed to be. Like, he got split and then put back together. It was 

Craig: almost like he had two faces.

It was weird. I liked it, but he’s enormous. He is like this 400 pound guy fighting… Chopes capote. Oh, 

Todd: God. Here’s the crazy thing though. So he starts shooting, and that captures the attention of, um, Of the guy and the girl at the, at the front desk. Like, he’s getting ready to go, Roger. By the way, I don’t know if I mentioned, his name is Roger Mortis.

Har har har. Uh, uh, uh, Tree, William’s character, and Randy, and They’re having, like, a little flirty thing and they’re getting ready to go, But then they hear the gunshots. So, they start to take off, And that front desk guy, Leaps up with a gun and shoots at him. I know! Why did he do that? Why is he trying to kill him all of a sudden?

I have no idea. It was weird. That’s how it was in the 80s though. Everybody had a gun. Actually, everybody in this movie. Has a gun. He was mad because he interrupted his arrest. He was like, my arrest, I’m getting my revenge. Or maybe, or maybe he was just on PCP. He was 

Craig: for sure PCP. I couldn’t tell if he was a zombie because he gets shot a couple of times before he goes down.

Todd: He eventually goes down. He goes down too quick. He couldn’t have been a zombie. 

Craig: Joe Piscopo is fighting this enormous guy and somehow Treat Williams just gets knocked into the suffocating room and knocked in there and locked in there and is in there. for a solid minute and a half while we watch the oxygen level go down.

This 

Todd: was not what she had promised earlier. No, but the 

Craig: whole time, and I guess I must have been more into this movie than I Thought because the whole time I’m sitting there like help him help him right suffocating 

Todd: room You see the control room for the suffocating room and some mysterious hand which we never see who it was presses the button to activate it meanwhile As soon as Joe Piscopo’s character takes him down, takes down the biker guy, he goes and he just pounds on the window with his elbow a few times.

Why won’t 

Craig: the door open? Like, you would think that of all of the rooms, the suffocating room would have, like, 

Todd: a fail safe. Like an emergency fail safe. Oh, for God’s 

Craig: sakes. 

Todd: I don’t even know why this, this fire extinguisher that he was beating this biker guy with, why didn’t he pick that up and at least try to smash the window in?

Craig: I don’t know. I forgot to say that when he was fighting the big guy, Treat Williams comes in and says, What is this thing? And Joe Pesco goes, Very ugly. Like, these, these are the jokes. Oh, for God’s 

Todd: sake. It’s, they’re all groaners. 

Craig: Roger dies, but they, Rebecca’s like, don’t worry. And she puts them on the, she puts them on the resurrection table.

Doug 

Todd: just shows her the Death Star room. Apparently they’re able to wander around in here and she figures. She just figures it all out. She, she steps onto the computer control panel, types a couple things. 

Craig: She claims that she knows nothing about it. She’s just the PR girl. That’s it. Uh huh. But as soon as she 

Todd: No, this isn’t the PR girl.

This is Re This is Rebecca, not Randy. Oh, right, right, right. Yeah, so she literally knows nothing about it. She just types a few things, sees a printout of like three lines on the screen, and she just turns to Doug and goes, This is how they do it, Doug. This is how they resurrect the dead. He looks just as shocked as I was.

I was like, how did she figure all that shit out?

Craig: She’s a doctor, Todd.

Todd: Yeah, that’s right. She’s a doctor in the 80s with an 80s computer. 

Craig: Yeah. They know all about resurrection tables. It’s like third year medical school. Oh, it’s 

Todd: just so… Funny. They put him on the table, and of course, in a flurry of animated lightning, he resurrects.

And he stems out, and then who wanders in? Just literally pops in, is that Dr. MacGavigan, and he’s like, oh, hey Rebecca, oh. I thought you were dead.

Craig: And he, but he feels great, like he’s never felt so good. But he has no heartbeat, and then somehow, he cuts himself, and Conveniently, yeah. No blood comes out, but there are like, glitter sparkles? Like, what the fuck? 

Todd: What is happening? He’s like a lost boy now. He’s got glittery blood or something in there. 

Craig: Oh god, and like, all of these things are never answered.

Todd: No. 

Craig: Well, especially because They get, he gets shot a bunch of times. So many times. And there’s always blood. 

Todd: Right. There’s 

Craig: no glitter. The movie is inexplicable. Because not only is, like, he gets shot with a machine gun several times, but then and I’m jumping ahead, we can come back, but after he is shot multiple times with a machine gun, he has a scene The brushing his hair scene where he is shirtless in front of a mirror, no wounds.

Todd: Oh, you’re right. I didn’t catch that. 

Craig: Like, the whole reason that he is in the bathroom brushing his hair is because he has been shot all to hell. And they tell him he needs to clean up and change his clothes. But then he is just sexy as fuck standing in front of that mirror brushing his hair. Um, yeah.

Todd: After he gets resurrected, they figure out he has no blood, he has, he doesn’t bleed or whatever. Everybody but Rebecca walks out, back to the counter, or whatever. And then, like, a minute later, Rebecca runs back out and says, Roger, you haven’t 

Craig: heard the worst of it. I’m dead, Rebecca. How much worse can it get?

I’ve been scanning the lab report. The resurrection process has an unfortunate side effect. Which is what? Progressive decay of reanimated tissue. Irreversible cell damage. You’ve got ten to twelve hours, tops. And then what? All of the cells of your body will dissolve into a kind of organic stew. Which is so stupid.

She is so smart. Yeah, how does she know that? Why intend Like, we actually see this happen to somebody else later. It’s not Yeah, you don’t need to be told. They slowly decompose for a little while, and then instantaneously they melt into a pool of goo. What? Like, that doesn’t even… Yeah. Why do I care? I was gonna say it doesn’t make any sense.

Why do I care? It doesn’t 

Todd: have to make any sense. No, it doesn’t. But this goes back to what you were saying earlier, is the movie tells us way more than it needs to. It could show us a lot more. It could infer things. But everything we need to know comes straight out of every character’s mouth. I get 

Craig: this one.

They have to give it a timeline. They have to give it a tim… It has to be urgent. This all has to be taken care of in the next 12 hours. 

Todd: But what a clunky way. You know, that’s my point. Oh, it 

Craig: is. They, they start immediately to kind of try to show that he’s decomposing, and the way that they do that firstly is to just not put him in full makeup.

Like, um, to, to just, like, put him in foundation so he’s really washed out. And then there’s a whole gag where he has to go to, like, a convenience store. To buy… Lipstick. Lipstick! Like, like, I don’t remember, like, I 

Todd: don’t know what he said. He cares a lot about how red his lips the things you’d care about, uh, red, red lips is 

Craig: the

most important. and he’ll look like he’s in makeup. But no, it’s just a gag. Like, they just pull over for a minute so he can run in and buy some Merlot. covered lipstick so he can have a really hard time putting it on because he’s straight. Well, well, how do women do this as he’s 

Todd: three? And then Joe Piscopo is like, I don’t know.

You look pretty good to me. And 

Craig: it’s like, like he like puts on like a quote unquote gay affect 

Todd: and it’s not funny. It’s just dumb. 

Craig: It’s not funny. It 

Todd: actually, I thought it was hilarious. Like 

Craig: people get so sensitive about things, but like. That’s why I was saying, like, this is such a straight dude movie, like, 

Todd: Oh, it’s such an 80s movie.

It’s just dated, that’s all. We don’t put that stuff in our movies anymore, 

Craig: Craig. I know, but like, honestly, it wasn’t mean spirited at all. No, it was funny. It was 

Todd: typical. I thought, like, Ho ho, a guy putting on makeup. Oh ho, you must be gay. Yeah. 

Craig: Don’t Right. No homo, 

Todd: bro. But that, but that, they immediately go to Randy’s house and I was like, yeah, like where the hell did she go?

She just disappeared. And she’s just like, oh, I’m sorry. I just got scared and left. Why don’t you guys come in? And then she says, But, but, no, no, 

Craig: but she’s fleeing. Like, they catch her just as she’s jumping into her car to like, flee the country or something. 

Todd: I don’t know. And so they’re giving her a bad time and she goes, 

Craig: Oh, I get it.

You’re the tough cop. And your partner here, he’s the nice cop, because he’s not too scary with lipstick on. What?! I don’t know. Oh my god. It makes no sense. Joe Piscopo just, like, sees a random videotape on a table and is like, Hey, we should watch this videotape. Let’s put this in the videotape. So they, so they put it in.

And it’s Vincent Price. This was Vincent Price’s last horror movie. I think he appeared somewhere else after this, but this was his last horror movie. And it’s always just such a joy to see him. He’s so 

Todd: Well, he was in Edward Scissorhands if you, I mean, I don’t know if you call that a horror movie. 

Craig: Right, right, right, right.

And he’s great in that movie too. God, I love that movie. He’s talking to her, Randy. Like, and calling my princess, uh, I want you to know that I love you or something, I don’t know. It gets cut off because more machine gun zombies, uh, attack. And there’s a whole nother big deal, Roger is shot a whole bunch of times.

Um, did you notice that Randy had artistically styled photographs of herself hanging in her apartments? 

Todd: Oh! No, I didn’t! 

Craig: There was like a black and white of, like, her head, like, resting on a table and then like reflected underneath. Hilarious! Like a 

Todd: Glamour 

Craig: Shots, uh, photo. Yes, yes, totally. Hanging on her own wall.

So they electrocute one zombie like in a… hot tub or something and they impale the other one and Piscopo’s like looking off in the distance and I don’t know what’s going on and then and then and then Roger brushes his hair. And 

Todd: then they look they learn about her father who died two weeks ago and then they decide to enlist her help.

They’re looking for this chemical. They’re looking for this 

Craig: chemical which had last been delivered in mass to a Chinese In 

Todd: Chinatown! The minute she said it, I was like, Oh my god, this movie is a parody of itself. Yeah, I did last deliver some sulfuric whatever acid to a guy named Thule in Chinatown. Yeah, of course it’s Chinatown.

It’s an 80’s action movie. Chinatown’s gonna come into play. And I was like, alright. Cue all the racist stuff that we are gonna laugh at. And sure enough, they walk into the He’s like, Hey! I really want some chop suey! Uh, sorry, we’re really got a job to do. Oh my god! Yeah, but this place has got the best egg rolls in 

Craig: town!

He recites a Chinese food menu. Like… We could get some, egg foo young. Some egg rolls. I don’t know. 

Todd: This is so, so exotic and 

Craig: funny. Oh my God. And so they go in this, like, it’s this disgusting butcher shop or something where there’s just like corpses everywhere. It’s disgusting. And, um, there’s this big, fat Asian guy like chopping up stuff and they try to talk to him and he doesn’t listen.

And then the guy that they’re looking for, Thule, is the old man from Gremlins. The old Asian man from Gremlins. And this blew my mind because he’s not an ancient old man. Like, I just assumed that guy was really like an… An ancient old guy, but 

Todd: he’s not. I mean, he’s, he’s Asian. Asians don’t raisin, bud. 

Craig: You can say that because you were married to an 

Todd: Asian person.

Yeah, well, I have a lot of experience around Asians. I think if I were Asian, I would wear it as a badge of pride and I’m insanely jealous. I couldn’t say 

Craig: that. It would be racist, but you’re allowed. It’s 

Todd: okay. Oh, it’s not racist. I think it’s a compliment. It’s true. Basically, in China, if I see somebody and it looks like they’re 24, I figure, alright, they’re probably 16.

I just subtract 10 or more years from everybody. But this guy, I mean, we might have talked about it before in the gremlins thing, but he’s been in movies since the 30s. For a while, every movie that needed an Asian guy in it basically had him in it. It was kind of sad, but also… 

Craig: He also has a resurrection machine in his butcher shop, which he turns on and it brings all of the butchered animals to life.

Now this is the most ridiculous, it’s one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen. It’s 

Todd: so well done! It is so amazing at this, this era with no, uh, CGI. Yeah. Everything is practical. First of all, this is a nasty ass butcher shop. It’s a pretty racist butcher shop to be honest, but it is filled with corpses of every animal you can think of, not the least of which are ducks.

Yeah. Hanging from hooks, chopped off heads in pans, like everything. And 

Craig: most of that I’ve seen before. You know, I’ve seen these reanimated butchered animals come… to life before. We’ve seen it in movies that we’ve talked about. When that bowl came out of the freezer, I was like, you are kidding me. 

Todd: Oh, it was so balls out.

It must have taken him three weeks to film this. It was so intense. There’s so much happening. And there’s like a duck head just like going back and forth in a pot, which he feels the need to shoot the head off of. I mean, there’s, there’s gunfire, they’re getting attacked by these corpses, and then like you said, it’s like the giant freezer door comes open, and this giant bull corp uh, cow, bull, whatever corpse comes walking out and starts to, to take 

Craig: Headless, footless, disemboweled, 

Todd: half butchered corpse like it would be hanging in the meat locker, ready to be cut up into pieces.

It 

Craig: was awesome. It was so good. Funnily enough. It really didn’t pose much of a threat. Like, like it was so, it was so big. Well what else, what could it really do, yeah? It jumped on Joe Piscopo. It’s a giant steak, like, what’s it gonna do? Right. But anyway, they, they, they, they, they shoot everything and, and Joe Piscopo says, This little piggy’s going to market.

Todd: I don’t know what it is, but suddenly I’ve lost my appetite. That’s it. For this time, I’m a 

Craig: vegetarian. Roger shoots the resurrection machine and they all die. And then they find a piece of paper with a list of names and dates and they assume that it’s the dates that people died cause Vincent Price’s name is on it or something, I don’t know.

Um, and then they sit down to like have a cup of coffee or something, I don’t know. 

Todd: Library research! Oh, 

Craig: library research, right. But then, all of a sudden, Roger is like… Concerned about his mortality. They’re, they’re reading obituaries. And he’s like, oh, what would my obituary be? Uh, beloved husband to no one, father of none.

And like all, he’s like super depressed about it for a second. And then, just, that moment passes. 

Todd: This is what I meant when I said earlier, look, they were funny. They were funny together, they looked like they were having a good time, but there’s no real emotion. There’s no real emotional connection to or with anybody here, or even between the characters.

They’re all just talking over each other, you know? I mean, I enjoy 

Craig: the story, and I enjoy laughing at it, but it’s a terrible script, like… Oh yeah. That was the other thing, as I was watching it, I was like… Did these actors read this script and get excited about it? Like, like, like, this is gonna be a good movie?

I 

Todd: feel like it’s, number one, it’s a little dated. Number two, I think it’s bad in execution, honestly. I don’t, also, you’re right, a lot of the writing is dumb. I also feel like It could have worked, maybe, with some better filmmaking and some better acting choices? I don’t know. I don’t know 

Craig: what to say about it, because ultimately, I don’t hate it.

Like, it was fun to watch. It’s just, it’s 

Todd: bad. Well, the stupid stuff, at least it moves, right? It does move. Like, at least we’re not wallowing along with him in his big pick me up line. You remember when we were in 

Craig: training? They always told us you can’t be a good cop if you’re a dead cop. Here’s your chance to prove him wrong.

You’re good, and you’re dead. Oh boy, I don’t know. Then, I just have in my notes, I don’t remember under what circumstances, but the two women in the movie meet. and immediately hate each other. Like, what? Like, they just happen to be in the same room, and the second they are together they are like glaring at each other and like they just hate each other.

I have no idea what that was 

Todd: all about. It’s because this is a straight guy’s movie, you know, only one woman can be on screen at the time, otherwise they’re catty to each other and insanely jealous. Well, 

Craig: right, and you know, they’re both, they’re going to compete for Treat Williams, and whoever loses is going to have to go with Joe Piscopo.

I mean, these are some high stakes. 

Todd: Yeah, then she of course, uh, Rebecca has more information. She always knows something and she tells him, Hey, uh, I know of a special process that I found in Dante’s files that they were working on to extend the resurrection period. 

Craig: Okay, the end, then that never comes up again!

Todd: Yeah, like, why would you even have to convince him? No, 

Craig: no, he, he’s like, well, are you sure it’ll work? And she’s like, well, I’m not sure. And he’s like, well, then f k it. Like, I’m not doing it. I’ve only got three or four hours left and I have to make them count. Yeah. Oh, so they go to check out Laudermilk.

That’s Vincent Price. His name is Laudermilk. They go to check out his grave. I don’t remember why. God, I don’t remember any of this, but they go to check out his grave. The two men split up. Yeah. The girl. Randy goes with Treat Williams and they go to check out the grave and somehow. He’s like, oh, uh, I figured out that he wasn’t really your dad because of evidence.

And she’s like, no, you’re right. He wasn’t really my dad. I met him in the hospital. He helped me. He helped me. And then like five minutes later we find out that that was a lie too. But yeah. Um, they find some numbers. Why? They find some numbers written in blood inside a lampshade. Why? It doesn’t, it’s so stupid.

Like, there is an explanation for it, but even, the explanation doesn’t make any sense. No, 

Todd: it’s like a, it’s like a point and click video game at this point, yeah. They go 

Craig: back to her apartment, which is where they were supposed to meet Doug, and they look around for a second until she finds him dead, hung upside down.

In the fish tank. Yeah! Now, I ki There was part of me that kinda thought that he would probably die, but I also thought that, like, There’d be a moment. They would take him to the resurrection 

Todd: table! Right? Why didn’t they do that? 

Craig: No, there’s like, ah, bummer, he’s dead. And 

Todd: like, They don’t even call anybody!

They just put a sheet over him and start moping around. 

Craig: Uh, again, another terrible, terrible point of the script. He is, like, disgusting. Like, waterlogged and bloated and his skin is all discolored and gross. We see him again later, when he is eventually resurrected and he’s… Fine. Like. 

Todd: Just normal Joe Piscopo.

Yeah. Same smarmy face. 

Craig: It doesn’t make any sense. But I couldn’t believe it. And not only that, but then the movie kept going on and I’m like, wait. This isn’t like the buddy cop movie anymore? Like he’s really dead? It was 

Todd: just so sudden. I thought that was such a weird choice. There was no moment or anything like.

He’s just gone. Usually in the buddy cop movies, there’s like a tearful scene where the one partner dies or something like that. Now it’s just like, Oh. That’s Doug. He’s dead. He’s 

Craig: dead. Oh well. Treat Williams and the chickie go in the bathroom and she’s like, I was lying, I, I wasn’t really his daughter. Um, the truth of the matter is, I’m dead too!

And then, immediately upon that confession, she turns into a pool of mushy goo. Like, what? 

Todd: This was awesome, though. It looks great. I forgive the nonsensical aspect of it, because the effects were great. And by the time she’s down to a pill of mushy goo, her head rolls off across the floor, and as it’s decomposing, it’s still talking to him.

I’m sorry, 

Craig: Roger. Please forgive me. Oh my…

Todd: Oh, and then, you know, you talk about stupid. This is why, you know, I said point and click adventure games is like some missed shit or something. Uh, Roger goes to call Rebecca and he gets an answering machine and leaves half a message before it beeps. And as he hangs up the phone, it… It occurs to him that the numbers on the die on the phone also correspond to letters.

And so he thinks, oh, maybe that’s what those numbers were. And he puts together B O D Y. And that tells him that’s it. He goes back to the moor and he confronts the doctor because the doctor had the license plate body doc. And that is what Vincent Price’s, character for reasons I still don’t understand, wrote in code on the inside of a lamp.

Craig: Why? Because they were in on it together. 

Todd: Yes. That’s the other thing. What is he That makes 

Craig: sense. What is he leaving clues for? Like he’s leading clues to lead to his. Partner in crime? Like, it doesn’t make any sense. Oh boy. So he goes back to the morgue, and he confronts McNab, and Thule, the Asian guy, and his zombie thugs show up, and Oh, by the way, they also killed Rebecca offscreen.

Right? All of the main characters are dead now. 

Todd: Yeah, and we didn’t even get to see them die. Like, 

Craig: it’s just so weird. And they lock him in. Uh, in an ambulance with Rebecca’s corpse. And he puts the ambulance in neutral so it rolls down the hill. This long ass hill. When he puts it in neutral, the sirens also come on.

That was a feature of ambulances that 

Todd: I was unaware of. Uh, and then, uh, for some reason, if you got an ambulance rolling down the hill, people can’t drive anymore. Far ahead of the ambulance. Suddenly, chaos ensues. For no reason are just like crashing into each other and spinning out of control and and then he goes And the ambulance crashes into a pileup of cars and explodes Yeah, huge 

Craig: explosion.

I loved it. I mean, it’s a great action scene. Um, then the crime scene like there’s all kinds of cops around and roger Zips himself out of a body bag And, he’s all burned up on one side, his amazing hair is all like, spiked up, like he’s like a badass now. Um, Todd, did he change his clothes?

Todd: I am 

Craig: kind of sure that he’s in a different… Outfit

Todd: It doesn’t even matter at this point, but you’re 

Craig: right. No, he’s a badass. He, it’s like Robocop now. 

Todd: Yeah, that’s the joke. He’s now badass and everybody is stunned. And so the cop has got a, a gun on him. He says, I’m a cop too, is like, wait, you’re a cop? And he’s like, yeah, and I’m gonna need, need your gun, which then he gives to him and they all just.

Stand there with their jaws open as he hops on a police car like a badass. No, a motorcycle. A motorcycle. A police motorcycle like a badass and flies down the street away from them. 

Craig: Then there is a conference of old people. Mm hmm. At. Dante, which is that lab. Like they’re sitting around the Death 

Todd: Star room.

In the Death Star room, yeah. Oh, 

Craig: it’s so good. Body Doc, whoever that guy is, is like talking and he says something about laudermilk and he’s like, you can ask him yourself! And Vincent Price walks out and he’s alive. Oh, what a treat. It is, it’s lovely. I just absolutely love Vincent Price, and he gives a whole long speech about how God wants the rich to live forever, so the poor people can die, but God wants rich people to live forever.

I, I don’t know, like, is this… Are they pitching this to this conference of old people? I think 

Todd: so because he’s like it’s gonna cost half your fortune, but you’ll have the rest of your life You’ll live forever and you’ll be able to gain it all back. And so I think it’s just greedy. He wants Their money? I don’t, I don’t know.

It’s all kind of nebulous. It doesn’t matter. I will watch him, you know, I will watch this scene if it was an hour long. Oh sure, absolutely. 

Craig: Yeah, he could talk me to sleep every night. Laughter But Roger crashes in and shoots a bunch of the guards and this is the point where he He just stands five feet away from another zombie.

He shoots everybody. Cops? He’s a cop and he’s just plowing cops down left 

Todd: and right. Everyone has an Uzi. It’s like there’s a guard sitting down reading a magazine and he looks up and suddenly he springs up and he’s got an Uzi but he guns him down first. And he’s just shooting everyone in the hallway until, like you said, it gets to that one point where he and this other guy are like six feet away from each other and they’re just unloading into each other.

It’s 

Craig: hilarious. Right, okay, so then, he, he kills pretty much everybody in the Death Star room, except 

Todd: for Yeah, he just starts shooting them! 

Craig: Except for McNabb, I think is his name, and Laudermilk. These, Doc, Body Doc and, and Vincent Price. They’re, they’re not dead yet. Body Doc is like… Hey, I got a surprise for you!

And he pulls, like, a tarp off the table or whatever, and it’s Doug. Lookin great! Like, nothing ever happened! And he’s alive, but the guy’s like, Yeah, uh, he’s alive, but, uh, he was brain dead for too long, so he’s totally brainless. Kill that guy, will you? And Joe Piscopo, God bless him. Not, not, not an actor, really, I don’t think.

No, not great. Like, him playing brainless really isn’t… There’s not any difference from what 

Todd: he’s His smirk! His smirk is a little less pronounced on the 

Craig: But Roger, like, talks to him, he’s like, Hey, uh, we have the same death day, we could have death day parties together, and Hey, uh, remember that time I put on lipstick?

Todd: He literally says this. And, and, like, 

Craig: Joe Piscopo smirks, he’s like, Oh yeah, you did put on some lipstick. And then, then he’s fine. And he’s back. 

Todd: It’s 

Craig: classic movie. And he turns around and he looks at McNab and he’s like, Welcome to zombie land. What?

And McNab’s like, Uh, I’m not gonna give you the satisfaction. And he shoots himself in the head. Oh my 

Todd: god! 

Craig: But then! I’m sorry! They put him on the resurrection table And bring him back to life And then Treat Williams is like, Hey McNab, you wanna see what happens when you resurrect somebody twice? And he flips the switch And the guy blows up!

Explodes! Oh my god. Apparently that’s what happens if you resurrect somebody twice. They 

Todd: explode. Fantastic. 

Craig: Vincent Price, you know, from a corner is like screaming at them, begging them to save the machine. Um, promising, you know, you’ll, you’ll, uh, I can give you anything you want, I can give you wealth and success and you can live forever.

But they shoot up the machine. And then they walk out of the room. Into light and fog, like they’re walking into heaven, and like, they’re talking about reincarnation, like, yeah, I wonder if reincarnation, uh, exists, and Doug’s like, well, if it does, I hope I come back as a woman’s bicycle seat, and then they walk into the light, and that’s the end!

Oh, God. Oh. 

Todd: My. God. There’s even a Dead Heat theme rock song that comes on after it. It just checked all my boxes. The last 

Craig: line is that he wants to come back as a woman’s bicycle seat. That encapsulates why this is the straightest movie I’ve ever seen. I can just see a theater full of bros just, Heh heh heh, woman’s bicycle seat.

Todd: Technically, technically there’s one line after that. Okay, alright. What is it? They says, This could be the end of a beautiful friendship. Oh, right, right, right. Like, uh… It’s not very clever. 

Craig: They, uh, they, did this movie do well? Because I know that they, they talked about a sequel! Like, uh, the guy, the, I don’t know, producers or whoever talked to the writer about a sequel, he’s like, well, all the characters are dead!

And the producer’s like, well, you’ve got a resurrection machine, make it work!

Todd: I mean, fair enough. Hilarious. A 3. 8 million, I suppose? I suppose. Dude, I, I thought almost all of the effects in this movie were great. I thought it was a highlight of the whole film. Yeah, yeah. Nick Benson, um, the guy who did the special, uh, was kind of one of the dudes in charge of special effects for The Blob, and Nightmare on Elm Street 4, and Society did it.

I love the effects. I love the over the top campiness of it. I mean, and they knew it was campy and they just leaned into the camp 

Craig: hardcore. It’s kinda got, to me, like a Big Trouble in Little China vibe to it. And I love that movie. You know, I don’t disagree with you, like, I’ve talked about how stupid it is, and it is stupid, uh, I would still recommend it, like, I think people should watch it, it’s funny, like, it’s really funny.

Like, in a, you’re laughing with it, but also laughing at it. Yeah. Kind of way. It’s not sophisticated. No, but it’s entertaining. I was entertained and both of those guys, like, I don’t know, you know, Treat Williams I think was a very serious actor who went on to do, you know, serious, well respected stuff. Oh yeah.

He’s no slouch. You know, Joe Piscopo, he’s a funny guy. He’s really kind of more of a. character, like a persona than, than an actor, but that’s fine and it certainly does hearken back. It’s like a super super goofy Lethal weapon. Yeah, it’s that same kind of buddy cop kind of deal and the same kind of vibe and it works on the in The same kind of way and you’re right the the the effects are great The story’s dumb the writing’s terrible, but I would still recommend it If you if you haven’t seen it, you should see it once decide for yourself As bad as it was, I thought it was hilarious, and I was excited 

Todd: to talk about it.

If we had had this on VHS when we were kids, we would have watched this over and I think you’re right. And we would probably be having a very different discussion right now. Yeah, I think you’re right. So, uh, yeah, I really liked it. Um, did you notice, by the way, there is an uncredited, apparently, Linnea Quigley role in here?

No! She was a zombie go go girl, and I kinda wanna go back and see where that was. Yeah, me too. I don’t remember a zombie go go girl, but… I 

Craig: also, I had looked at the cast list, and I saw that Martha Quinn played a newswoman, and I was, like, watching out for her, and I missed it somehow, but, like, that was a blast from the past.

Like, Martha Quinn from MTV News. Whatever. No, it’s totally worth it. And it’s, it’s a guy, not just guys, people our age. If you’re nostalgic for this era, this, this type of movie, which you are absolutely right. They don’t make anymore. You should definitely give it a shot. It’s, it’s, it’s, yeah, it’s, it’s goofy fun.

Todd: As goofy as it is, it is really a showcase for, honestly, I think for Treat Williams as acting ability, like he’s head and shoulders above. Most of the cast in this movie. He’s 

Craig: just so charming. Like, he’s just one of those people. There are people like that that are just, they’re magnetic. And he is that type of person.

And it’s not, it certainly doesn’t hurt that he’s a very nice looking man. But he’s just so charismatic. Like, uh. You could just drown in his eyes and his smile, like, and, and, and, and not in a gross way, like, he, he’s just, uh, he, he just seems like such a cool guy, and I’m glad, you know, when he passed, you mentioned doing this, and that’s been a while, you know, we got caught up in some other things, um, I’m glad that we eventually came back around to this, cause he was a cool guy, a very talented guy, and, uh, yeah, I, I, I’m glad to have had the opportunity to say some 

Todd: nice things about him.

Absolutely. Same here. Well, thank you again for listening to another episode. If you enjoyed this podcast, please share it with a friend. Find us online by googling “Two Guys and a Chainsaw Podcast” and drop us a line anywhere we are. Let us know what you thought of this movie and any movies you’d like us to do in the future.

Also, consider joining our Patreon group. We have a pretty active little Patreon community behind the scenes – patreon.com/chainsawpodcast. It only takes five or ten bucks a month, uh, to give you exclusive access to minisodes that we do, the ability to influence the movies that we do, lots of just fun chatter.

We just, actually, we just have a good time chatting with our patrons, um, so please check it out at patreon.com/chainsawpodcast. Until next time, I’m Todd. And I’m Craig. With Two Guys and a Chainsaw.