Hello, I am a marital therapist, communications trainer and author. I have thirty-five years helping couples and individuals make better relationships. I have written twenty-plus self-help books which include the international best-sellers ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and ‘How can I ever trust you again?’ My books have been translated into twenty languages. I trained with RELATE the UK’s largest counselling charity. Perhaps it has been turning sixty but I have become interested in spiritual as well as psychological questions. Who am I? What are my values – as opposed to my parents, my teachers and the wider society? What makes my life meaningful? What do I believe about life, the universe and everything? Although my clients might come to me because of destructive arguments, falling out of love and infidelity, they are also interested in having more meaningful relationships and a more meaningful life. So what is the meaningful life? Why do we so easily lose our way and get lost in depression, anxiety, doubt, addictions and obsessions: the swamplands of the soul? One thing I know for sure is that there is not one answer...
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episode 153: Dr Avrum Weiss: Anxiety: Are you and your partner playing hot potato?
Anxiety can be as contagious as a yawn. People who are feeling more anxious often try to get others to take some of their anxiety from them, and people who are not feeling as anxious naturally resist taking on someone else’s anxiety.
In relationships, it’s often the case that one person takes on the role of the anxious person, whilst the other feels responsible for managing their partner’s anxiety. Combine this with damagingly rigid gender roles, and you have a recipe for disconnection.
This week Andrew welcomes Dr Avrum Weiss onto the podcast for a second time. Andrew and Avrum discuss “playing hot potato” with anxiety in relationships.
Dr Avrum Weiss is a US-based author and psychotherapist specialising in the internal lives of men. His writing and his work with couples help men and women understand each other more deeply and build a stronger connection.
Subscriber Content This Week
If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing:
⭐️What is your relationship with change?
⭐️Three things Dr Weiss knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Buy Dr Avrum Weiss’ book Hidden in Plain Sight: How Men’s Fears of Women Shape Their Intimate Relationships
Andrew and Avrum also discuss Avrum’s book Change Happens: When to Try Harder and When to Stop
Read Dr Avrum Weiss’ article in Psychology Today “Why Some Couples Play Hot Potato With Anxiety”
Find Dr Avrum Weiss’ other books via his website
Follow Dr Avrum Weiss on Facebook @AvrumWeissAuthor and on Twitter @avrum_weiss
Read Andrew’s books on relationships and self-development
Listen to Andrew and Dr Avrum Weiss’ previous conversation: Why Men Withdraw When Women Get Angry
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50: https://www.patreon.com/andrewgmarshall
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall