Hello, I am a marital therapist, communications trainer and author. I have thirty-five years helping couples and individuals make better relationships. I have written twenty-plus self-help books which include the international best-sellers ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and ‘How can I ever trust you again?’ My books have been translated into twenty languages. I trained with RELATE the UK’s largest counselling charity. Perhaps it has been turning sixty but I have become interested in spiritual as well as psychological questions. Who am I? What are my values – as opposed to my parents, my teachers and the wider society? What makes my life meaningful? What do I believe about life, the universe and everything? Although my clients might come to me because of destructive arguments, falling out of love and infidelity, they are also interested in having more meaningful relationships and a more meaningful life. So what is the meaningful life? Why do we so easily lose our way and get lost in depression, anxiety, doubt, addictions and obsessions: the swamplands of the soul? One thing I know for sure is that there is not one answer...
https://andrewgmarshall.com/podcasts/
episode 158: Dr Susan Heitler: Forget ”Fair Fighting” and Learn How to Do Win-Win Problem-Solving
Forget fair fighting, what you and your partner should aim for is win-win problem solving. According to psychologist Dr Susan Heitler, If you can learn to investigate and share the deep-seated emotions behind a particular argument, the two of you can emerge stronger and more connected as a couple.
In this week’s episode, Andrew and Susan explore how childhood patterns can be replicated in adult relationships, and discuss a case-study in which a couple is able to overcome a disagreement over food waste that had brought them to the brink of divorce.
Dr Susan Heitler is a Harvard-educated clinical psychologist with a doctorate from NYU. She has authored multiple self-help books, plus books for therapists on treatment techniques. She aims to show how to handle life's bumps—the conflicts, difficult interactions, negative feelings, traumas, and tough decisions—in ways that sustain a sense of well-being. Dr Heitler’s articles on Psychology Today have received over 24 million reads.
Subscriber Content This Week
If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing:
⭐️What can marriage counselling do that individual work cannot?
⭐️Three things Susan Heitler knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
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Visit Susan Heitler’s websites: prescriptionswithoutpills.com and therapyhelp.com
Read Susan Heitler’s books, including Prescriptions Without Pills and The Power of Two: Secrets to a Strong and Loving Marriage.
Read Susan Heitler’s articles for Psychology Today
Watch Susan Heitler’s TEDX talk on Lift Depression With These Three Prescriptions - Without Pills.
You might also enjoy Andrew’s interviews with Avrum Weiss on Couples and Anxiety; or with Tonya Lester on How to Have Healthy Conflict.
Get Andrew’s advice on building a stronger relationship in his book The Happy Couple’s Handbook: Powerful Life Hacks for a Successful Relationship.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall