Hello, I am a marital therapist, communications trainer and author. I have thirty-five years helping couples and individuals make better relationships. I have written twenty-plus self-help books which include the international best-sellers ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and ‘How can I ever trust you again?’ My books have been translated into twenty languages. I trained with RELATE the UK’s largest counselling charity. Perhaps it has been turning sixty but I have become interested in spiritual as well as psychological questions. Who am I? What are my values – as opposed to my parents, my teachers and the wider society? What makes my life meaningful? What do I believe about life, the universe and everything? Although my clients might come to me because of destructive arguments, falling out of love and infidelity, they are also interested in having more meaningful relationships and a more meaningful life. So what is the meaningful life? Why do we so easily lose our way and get lost in depression, anxiety, doubt, addictions and obsessions: the swamplands of the soul? One thing I know for sure is that there is not one answer...
https://andrewgmarshall.com/podcasts/
episode 161: Shelia Rubin: Embracing Shame and Turning it into a Powerful Ally
“Shame is a powerful, universal, mysterious emotion. It can be incredibly painful and destructive AND it is designed to protect you” (Sheila Rubin).
Marriage therapist Sheila Rubin is a leading authority on how to heal the shame that might be holding you back in your relationships and your life. In this interview, Andrew and Sheila discuss how to achieve a deeper understanding of your shame, stop resisting it, and even turn it into an ally.
Sheila Rubin, MA, MFT, RDT/BCT is a Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Berkeley, California. She is the Co-Director of the Center for Healing Shame, a continuing education provider that offers Healing Shame workshops to therapists and other helping professionals. Sheila has developed therapy techniques integrating somatic and expressive processes to work with the all-pervasive shame and trauma that underlie eating disorders, addictions and toxic family dynamics. She is also the co-author (along with her husband, Bret Lyon) of a new book, Embracing Shame.
Subscriber Content This Week
If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing:
- Shame and eating disorders
- Three things Sheila Rubin knows to be true.
- AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50: https://www.patreon.com/andrewgmarshall
Read Sheila Rubin’s new book, Embracing Shame.
To download a free guidebook, Resilience and Hidden Shame, please visit www.SheilaRubin.com
For more information about Sheila’s Healing Shame workshops, please visit www.HealingShame.com.
Read Andrew’s book The Happy Couple’s Handbook: Powerful Life Hacks for a Successful Relationship.
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall