Have you tried everything you can think of to help your child, but nothing has worked? It’s not because you’re a bad parent. It’s because most of the information about addiction is outdated, doesn't work, and often makes things worse. Heather went through the same thing with her own daughter’s addiction until she found a new approach. She teaches you a collaborative compassionate approach to support yourself, reduce conflict, encourage change in your child, and even repair your relationship. Learn how to set the tone for your family's healing.
https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
episode 93: EP93 Cultivate Connection, Effective Communication, and Insight With Your Child by Understanding Memory Distortion and Recollection
The pain of feeling disconnected from your child can be overwhelming, but there are powerful ways to shift your approach and create the deep, meaningful connection you desire. Empathy, compassion, and effective communication are at the root of human connection. They’re also a critical component of shaping your experience of your child’s addiction.
When you access painful memories with feelings of guilt, blame, and shame you block connection because that creates cycles of defensive behaviors, avoidance, negative self-perception, and emotional withdrawal. Every time you access a memory you distort it. That means you can increase the negative emotional charge of a memory as you ruminate about it creating a profound impact on your relationship with your child, your past, present, and your future. In this episode, Heather illustrates how to break free from those negative patterns and shape your experience intentionally to create a connection with yourself and your child.
In this episode, you will learn:
- How distorting your painful memories perpetuates suffering and what to do instead.
- Why your brain likes to blame.
- How to take control of your own experiences to positively influence your relationship with your child.
- The power of thoughts, beliefs, and memories to transform your parenting approach.
Resources From Heather Ross Coaching
If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below
https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery
Invitation to Change Learning/Support Group Use the link below to find out about the group Heather is hosting.
Learn More & Sign Up For The ITC Group
GROUP COACHING PROGRAM - Join the waitlist - New Group Starting soon! Be the first to get details.
https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/
Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!
https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/
Timestamps:
00:00:00 - The Power of Thoughts and Memories
Heather discusses the power of thoughts, beliefs, and memories, especially in the context of processing trauma, such as the loss of her daughter, Helanna. She emphasizes the impact of memories on our experiences and the potential for distortion.
00:01:00 - Distorted Memories and Trauma
Heather delves into the idea of distorted memories, highlighting how recollections of events can become less precise with each retrieval, potentially leading to the formation of false memories. She also discusses how trauma amplifies this distortion.
00:06:43 - The Impact of Thoughts and Beliefs
Heather explores the connection between thoughts, beliefs, and memories, emphasizing their influence on our recollection of past events. She highlights the potential for changing past perceptions and how it can shape our present and future experiences.
00:17:41 - Transforming Memories with Compassion
Heather encourages intentional thought choices to infuse past experiences with empathy, leading to a more optimistic
present and future.
00:20:31 - Managing Emotional Triggers Heather discusses the impact of negative memories triggering emotional responses. She contrasts two scenarios, highlighting the importance of curiosity and compassion in managing emotional triggers.
00:21:38 - Reliving the Past Heather explains how reliving negative memories can perpetuate anger and emotional turmoil.
00:22:58 - Shifting Perspectives Heather delves into the power of intentional thinking and reflective processing.
00:23:40 - Taking Control Heather emphasizes the control individuals have over their experiences, despite not being able to control their children's behavior. She highlights the importance of intentional thoughts, feelings, and actions in effecting positive change.
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