An on-going podcast series tracing the modern history of Lebanon through the stories of those who have lived it. Cutting across two genres—Oral History and Documentary—the cascade of stories paints a people-centered, multi-perspective view of what took place and the meanings they carry.Maabar is a podcast created produced by Anthony Tawil and Cedric Kayem.For more information:www.maabarpodcast.com
https://www.maabarpodcast.com
episode 19: Maabar معبر | S1 Special EP04 - بس تعشقها… مشكلة - Addicted
In this episode, we hear about how addictive war becomes for the journalists covering it as they describe the smell of fear and the thrill of existing on the fine line between life and death. For some, the only way to survive was to lose their mind and their senses while simultaneously being completely sane, 100% alert.
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You run on adrenaline, get high on risk, forget life. The war becomes your dealer, the story, the photograph your next fix. And yet you cannot get high or drunk, you must be lucid, 100%, your senses on high alert. Your life depends on it. You are in tune with the rhythm of military fire, know the sound of an incoming or outgoing shell, know the time from launch to impact, know the number of shells that can be fired in a round to make an escape to your car in the time it takes to reload. You’re both scared to death and exhilarated by fear; you drive fear, fear drives you. One minute you find yourself walking through minefields, the next, in the crosshairs of a sniper’s line of sight - from below and above, you’re exposed on all sides. You’ve had too many close calls with death, too many brushes, felt the rush, rise to the thrill, and then it sinks in deep. You ask, how did I survive, why him and not me?
بتعيش عل أدرينالين، بتعبي راسك من الخطر، بتنسى الحياة. بتصير الحرب متل يلّي ببيبعك مخدرات، الخبر، الصورة، بصيروا جرعتك التالية. بس ما فيك تتخدّر أو تسكر، لاء لازم تكون واعي 100%، حواسك لازم يكونوا مركزين لأنو حياتك معتمدة عالموضوع. بتصير حافظ إيقاع الرصاص العسكري، بتعرف صوت القذايف إذا طالعة أم نازلة، بتعرف قدي الوقت من إطلاق القذيفة لحين وصولها، بتعرف كم قذيفة رح يضربوا ورا بعض لتقدر تهرب عالسيارة وقت يكونوا عم بعبّوا المدفع. إنت خايف للموت وبنفس الوقت الخوف محمّسك؛ بتمشّي الخوف والخوف بمشيك. بدقيقة، بتلاقي حالك عم تمشي بحقل ألغام، بدقيقة تانية بتصير بمدى نظر القناص، يعني مكشوف من كل الميلات، من فوق ومن تحت. بتعيش كتير حالات كنت رح تموت فيا، بكتير حالات بتقرّب من الموت، بتحسّ بالحماس، وبعدين بتصير تفكر وتسأل، كيف أنا نجيت، ليش هو ومش أنا؟