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“2. Emotional boundaries are all about respecting and honoring feelings and energy. Setting emotional boundaries means recognizing how much emotional energy you are capable of taking in, knowing when to share and when not to share, and limiting emotional sharing with people who respond poorly. Respecting emotional boundaries means validating the feelings of others and making sure you respect their ability to take in emotional information. It might sound like: "When I share my feelings with you and get criticized, it makes me totally shut down. I can only share with you if you are able to respond respectfully to me." "I am so sorry you are having such a tough time. Right now, I am not in a place to take in all of this information. Do you think we can come back to this conversation later?" "I am having a hard time and really need to talk. Are you in a place to listen right now?" "I really can't talk about that right now. It isn't the right time." Emotional boundary violations include: Dismissing and criticizing feelings Asking questions that are not appropriate for the relationship Reading or going through personal and emotional information Asking people to justify their feelings Assuming we know how other people feel Telling other people how they feel "Emotionally dumping" on people without their permission Sharing inappropriate emotional information with your children.” 4. Sexual boundaries Healthy sexual boundaries include consent, agreement, respect, understanding of preferences and desires, and privacy. Healthy sexual boundaries include: Asking for consent Discussing and asking for what pleases you Requesting condom use if you want it Discussing contraception Saying no to things that you do not like or that hurt you Protecting the privacy of the other person This might sound like: "Do you want to have sex now?" "Is this comfortable for you?" "Tell me what you like." "Tell me what you don't like." "I don't like that. Let's try something different." "I don't want to have sex tonight. Can we cuddle instead?" "I am really into [insert desire here]. Is that something you would feel comfortable with?" Sexual boundary violations include: Sulking, punishing, or getting angry if someone does not want to have sex Not asking for consent Pressure to engage in unwanted sexual acts Unwanted sexual comments Leering Lying about contraceptive use Lying about your health history Criticizing the other person's sexual preferences Unwanted touch, assault, or rape.” “6. Intellectual boundaries Intellectual boundaries refer to your thoughts, ideas, and curiosity. Healthy intellectual boundaries include respect for the ideas of other people, and they can be violated when your thoughts and curiosity are shut down, dismissed, or belittled. Respectfulness and willingness to dialogue and understand are important here. Healthy intellectual boundaries also mean considering whether or not it is a good time to talk about something. They might sound like: "I know we disagree, but I won't let you belittle me like that." "I would love to talk about this more, but I don't think talking about it during Thanksgiving dinner is the best time." "When we talk about this, we don't get very far. I think it is a good idea to avoid the conversation right now." "I can respect that we have different opinions on this." Does this mean that you need to be accepting of all thoughts and opinions? Absolutely not. It is also important to learn to recognize the difference between healthy and unhealthy discourse. If someone is sharing an opinion that is inherently harmful—i.e., racism, sexism, xenophobia, homophobia, etc.—then you have every right to put a hard line in the sand. You can set the boundary in your own way. It might sound like letting the person know you do not tolerate that kind of talk, distancing yourself from them, or cutting off. You do not have to have "intellectual" discourse with someone who is violating you or other people.” Mindbodygreen. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/antonio-myers4/support