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“How can survivors feel safer in a new romantic or sexual relationship? Survivors should consider practicing cautious optimism. First dates can be exciting, encouraging, and nerve-wracking, but it’s also critical for a survivor to trust their gut when red flags emerge. And, the wise and common advice still applies: Meeting in a public place when just starting to date someone can offer an easy exit and prevent strong feelings of vulnerability. It’s also critical for survivors to develop a definition of consent and consider their boundaries when it comes to different and/or new sexual activities. Examining feelings of shame and victim-blaming with a professional can be one of the biggest steps in developing these boundaries. How can partners support survivors? “Partners can be supportive by educating themselves on how survivorship can affect sex,” Mottley explains. “It’s important to understand the survivor’s needs and triggers. It may take some patience.” As always, communication is the best place to start, though it is up to the survivor to disclose and begin the conversation. “I think it’s great to agree on some communication methods (verbal and nonverbal) and check in regularly (before, during and after),” she continues. “I am a firm believer in survivor-centered approaches, so being open and honoring where the survivor is at any given moment is essential.” Already a taboo topic in many communities, sex can be tricky to discuss in the healthiest of situations; for assault survivors, this stigma might feel magnified. Partners can help by practicing clear, proactive communication that affirms the survivor’s experience, articulates the boundaries of the relationship, and offers a willingness to be patient. For example, a good message might sound something like, “I understand how your experiences might make sex difficult, but I want you to know that I respect your boundaries and am willing to wait as long as you need to begin exploring this.” At the end of the day, however, the most well-meaning partner cannot heal a survivor’s trauma. The return to sex and romance isn’t a matter of outside reassurance and needs to prioritize the inner-struggle of the survivor.” -https://www.caase.org/sex-after-sexual-assault/. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/antonio-myers4/support