Hello, I am a marital therapist, communications trainer and author. I have thirty-five years helping couples and individuals make better relationships. I have written twenty-plus self-help books which include the international best-sellers ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and ‘How can I ever trust you again?’ My books have been translated into twenty languages. I trained with RELATE the UK’s largest counselling charity. Perhaps it has been turning sixty but I have become interested in spiritual as well as psychological questions. Who am I? What are my values – as opposed to my parents, my teachers and the wider society? What makes my life meaningful? What do I believe about life, the universe and everything? Although my clients might come to me because of destructive arguments, falling out of love and infidelity, they are also interested in having more meaningful relationships and a more meaningful life. So what is the meaningful life? Why do we so easily lose our way and get lost in depression, anxiety, doubt, addictions and obsessions: the swamplands of the soul? One thing I know for sure is that there is not one answer...
https://andrewgmarshall.com/podcasts/
episode 182: Cheryl Fraser: Kill the Soulmate and Save Your Marriage
If our partner really loved us, wouldn’t everything be a lot easier? If they were “the one”, surely we wouldn’t be losing our minds over towels dropped on the bathroom floor?
In this episode marital therapist Dr Cheryl Fraser joins Andrew to discuss the destructive myth of the soulmate. According to Cheryl, there is no such thing as a soulmate. When we set aside the naive expectation that love will conquer all, we can begin to learn the skills required to build lasting intimacy.
Dr Cheryl Fraser is the author of Buddha’s Bedroom, and the therapist behind the Become Passion online immersion program for couples. Cheryl has helped thousands of couples jump-start their love life and create passion that lasts a lifetime. She lives in Vancouver, and is regularly featured in Mindful and Best Health magazines. Cheryl was also a Fulbright scholar, and has studied meditation and Buddhism for twenty-five years, in both the Tibetan and Theravaden traditions.
Follow Up
Get Andrew’s free guide to difficult conversations with your partner: How to Tell Your Partner Difficult Things
Take a look at Andrew’s new online relationship course: My Best Relationship Tools
Join one of Dr Cheryl Fraser’s free online couple workshops and find out more about her Become Passion programme.
Take Dr Cheryl Fraser’s Passion Quiz and rate your relationship.
Read Dr Cheryl Fraser’s book, Buddha’s Bedroom.
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Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall