Hello, I am a marital therapist, communications trainer and author. I have thirty-five years helping couples and individuals make better relationships. I have written twenty-plus self-help books which include the international best-sellers ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and ‘How can I ever trust you again?’ My books have been translated into twenty languages. I trained with RELATE the UK’s largest counselling charity. Perhaps it has been turning sixty but I have become interested in spiritual as well as psychological questions. Who am I? What are my values – as opposed to my parents, my teachers and the wider society? What makes my life meaningful? What do I believe about life, the universe and everything? Although my clients might come to me because of destructive arguments, falling out of love and infidelity, they are also interested in having more meaningful relationships and a more meaningful life. So what is the meaningful life? Why do we so easily lose our way and get lost in depression, anxiety, doubt, addictions and obsessions: the swamplands of the soul? One thing I know for sure is that there is not one answer...
https://andrewgmarshall.com/podcasts/
episode 183: Robert Glover: People Pleasing: Why Nobody is Really Pleased
People-pleasing is an ultimately futile and self-defeating approach to life. If we focus on making everyone else happy, we can end up frustrated, confused and resentful. Ironically, in trying to be “Mr Nice Guy”, people-pleasers often end up driven into behaviour that is anything but nice.
This week Andrew talks to therapist and author Dr Robert Glover about why people-pleasing is an inauthentic way to exist, and how it often leads to destructive patterns including:
- Giving to get
- Difficulty setting boundaries
- Dishonesty
- Caretaking,
- Fixing
- Codependency,
- Conflict avoidance,
- Passive-aggressiveness,
- Unsatisfying relationships,
- Issues with sexuality.
Dr. Robert Glover, therapist, coach, speaker, and educator is a relationship expert with over 40 years of professional experience. The author of the groundbreaking, No More Mr. Nice Guy, Dr. Glover has helped thousands of men world-wide transform their lives and get what they want in their careers and relationships.
Follow Up
Get Andrew’s free guide to difficult conversations with your partner: How to Tell Your Partner Difficult Things
Take a look at Andrew’s new online relationship course: My Best Relationship Tools
Visit Dr Robert Glover’s website and take a look at some of the ways you can work with him, including workshops, online classes and one-to-one consultations.
Buy Dr Robert Glover’s books No More Mr Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life and Dating Essentials for Men: Frequently Asked Questions.
Follow Dr Robert Glover on YouTube @drrobertglover
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Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall