Hello, I am a marital therapist, communications trainer and author. I have thirty-five years helping couples and individuals make better relationships. I have written twenty-plus self-help books which include the international best-sellers ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and ‘How can I ever trust you again?’ My books have been translated into twenty languages. I trained with RELATE the UK’s largest counselling charity. Perhaps it has been turning sixty but I have become interested in spiritual as well as psychological questions. Who am I? What are my values – as opposed to my parents, my teachers and the wider society? What makes my life meaningful? What do I believe about life, the universe and everything? Although my clients might come to me because of destructive arguments, falling out of love and infidelity, they are also interested in having more meaningful relationships and a more meaningful life. So what is the meaningful life? Why do we so easily lose our way and get lost in depression, anxiety, doubt, addictions and obsessions: the swamplands of the soul? One thing I know for sure is that there is not one answer...
https://andrewgmarshall.com/podcasts/
episode 186: Robin Stern: The Three Types of Gaslighting: How to Spot and Defuse Them
Gaslighting is an insidious form of emotional abuse in which a gaslighter undermines and controls another person by deflecting, twisting, and denying their reality. Gaslighting leaves victims second-guessing themselves, unable to make decisions and destabilised by constant shifts in reality.
In this week’s episode, Andrew talks to author and psychoanalyst Dr Robin Stern about gaslighting, and how to pull yourself out of this form of emotional abuse. Andrew and Robin discuss what makes you vulnerable to gaslighting, how to build your capacity to trust yourself, and how to identify the gaslight effect in different relationships. Robin also shares her personal experiences of gaslighting.
Dr Robin Stern co-founded the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence with Marc Brackett and currently serves as the senior advisor to the director. She is the author of The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life, and a follow-up workbook edition, The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide. She launched The Gaslight Effect Podcast in 2022.
Subscriber Content This Week
If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing:
- Gaslighting in the workplace.
- Three things Dr Robin Stern knows to be true.
- AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Get Andrew’s free guide to difficult conversations with your partner: How to Tell Your Partner Difficult Things
Take a look at Andrew’s new online relationship course: My Best Relationship Tools
Read Dr Robin Stern’s books The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life, and The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide.
Visit Dr Robin Stern’s website
Listen to the Gaslight Effect Podcast
Follow Dr Robin Stern on Instagram @dr.robinstern, on Facebook @drrobinstern and Twitter/X @RobinSStern.
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Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall